Whether you do good or do bad, people will always judge you.
And that’s a fact.
However, due to the pressure from everyone surrounding you, at times you end up judging yourself.
And that’s not exactly a beautiful experience to be caught up in.
Because first things first: at the end of the day, you are allowed to be yourself and pursue what gives you genuine joy. Period.
I had this realization when I recently went on vacation in Bangkok, Thailand.
I went to one of the most famous temples there, Wat Pho, wearing a rainbow colored matching suit which I scored the day before, that will shame any Candy Land. Haha!
The moment I stepped out from the bus, I got mixed reactions from people there. Some expressed their joy and amusement.
While others still didn’t agree and said it was too much.
Ever experienced that from you’re end? When you’re simply expressing yourself genuinely and yet people will say that you’re too much?
Me? Time and again. This wasn’t the first time. And what I have realized here is that: I have gotten used to it.
Because each one of us is entitled to his / her own opinion.
I respect that.
However, by respecting their opinions, it doesn’t mean I have to tolerate them and shrink to a box that they’re putting me in.
Not today, Satan. Not ever. This Unicorn will continue to sparkle and become his own #bestmeever Haha!
Yes dear, you are very much deserving to follow what makes your heart smile regardless if others won’t agree. Get that bag. Be in that relationship. Pursue that career. For as long as it makes you happy and you can handle it responsibly, by all means go. Never too much if it’s for the sake of long lasting, real happiness .
2. When you’re being true to yourself
You do you. That’s perfectly ok. You don’t have to hide. Be all out. Express yourself. Your wants. Your needs. Your gender. Among others. You can never be too much for people who will genuinely love and accept you for who and what you truly are.
3. When it helps you grow
You are the best investment you can ever make so don’t ever feel guilty for taking that class, taking a time off or exploring your options all over. There’s always room for growth and it’s never too much if you choose to maximize it.
4. When it helps you heal
No one can understand your own pain better than yourself. We have different sets of experiences which require different ways of addressing each one of them Do what’s best for you. Whether you choose to go on that retreat, change careers, move to a new space — find your own bliss while doing away with what others have to say about it so you can recover fully in your own way.
5. When it inspires others
You have a unique story to share and a one-of-a-kind role to play in this world. Never be afraid to shine as you are. Because for all you know, you are paving the way for others to light up their own fire. Someone, somewhere out there needs you to step up, Do what you must.
There you go. I hope these empower you to live life in your own terms.
Because being yourself, will never be too much.
It’s a must.
You can design (and re-design) your own life time and again.
And that’s a fact.
You have the power to make things happen, to work on things under your control and let go of all those beyond it.
You can always reach out for help and choose to start all over again, regardless of what happened to you before or whatever it is that you’re experiencing now.
What I am basically saying is that life doesn’t end when things don’t work out and one door closes.
You can wait for another door to open….or even create your own opportunities along the way.
Your goal must be crystal clear so that you would know what exactly do you need to achieve it. And that means being truly honest with yourself about how you truly feel about something that you aspire for. Recognize and understand your core values fully. If you’re not 100% in, then it’s not worth pursuing. You will only be limiting yourself to half-baked opportunities because your results are not anchored on genuine, full interest.
2. Do a self-inventory
You have all the things within you to create those beautiful opportunities you want. Take time to assess your current space: what can you utilize as of the moment? What skills haven’t you maximized yet? Is there anything you’ve done (or have) before that you can revisit? What new habits and mindset must you have to jumpstart your new mission? By reflecting on these questions you get to make the most of your most important arm in battle: yourself.
3. Put yourself out there
Doors of opportunities won’t open if the person behind those doors don’t know you at all. Be brave enough to show the rest of the world who you are. what you’re good at and continue giving value to others so that word-of-mouth marketing can work for you. Make your social media properties a little more attractive by consistently posting relatable, value-filled content that can pique the interest of your audience. Go the extra mile and do the same on-ground as you meet random people along the way as you take networking opportunities more seriously because who knows, the next person you meet might be holding the key to the new door you’re looking at.
4. Be in-tune with your surroundings and situations
Being 100% present allows you to get a feel of what your current space needs. Be mindful enough to recognize the gaps in the market where you can provide solutions and add value. The recent pandemic is a very good example of how I myself had to pivot from doing a lot of face to face coaching sessions to going digital with my programs, which eventually opened more doors for me internationally. Creating opportunities mean that you must be willing to adjust and adapt accordingly to the situation on hand as you continue to make yourself (and what you do best) timely and relevant in the eyes of others.
5. Intentionally seek for support
Ask and you shall receive. Never underestimate the power of humility. Seek help from people who are aligned with your vision. Never be afraid of rejection. After all, you’ll never know unless you try and rejection is only a form of re-direction. Who knows, that can even open a different opportunity for you so don’t fret. Just go for it.
I hope these help you create more new opportunities for yourself soon as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
Remember, opportunities will always be there.
You just have to look within first to create them.
Favors can make or break relationships.
This is just my take.
I mean, I bet you guys have experienced having people approach you for favors and vice versa.
Don’t get me wrong, that’s normal. After all, no man is an island and a helping hand will always be welcome.
However, admittedly, asking, giving and receiving favors can be tricky at times.
A lot of things come to play: your relationships, your resources, you state of mind, body and heart and the circumstances surrounding you.
Take it from me, through the years I have a lot of experience when it comes to favors, whether as a giver or recipient. And I can’t help but laugh as I recall the important lessons I learned along the way. Yep, the risks were worth it. Haha!
So now, allow me to share with you the golden rules I have formulated to perhaps help guide everyone as they ask, give or receive favors accordingly so that whatever happens, relationships can still thrive.
Remember, when it comes to favors, respect is key. So make sure you take that in consideration whether you’re asking, giving or receiving them.
I hope this helps everyone reading this see favors in a different light as you put more value on the relationships that come to play.
And that’s one favor you can give yourself now.
You wouldn’t know unless you try.
So true.
Sadly though, easier said than done.
I mean, admittedly, there are lots of things to consider when making life-changing decisions as part of you becoming your own #bestmeever .
And some of those things can be quite nerve-wracking and downright scary.
It’s not easy to take a leap of faith, most especially if you’re not guaranteed any safety net in between.
But hey, I on a personal note, think that taking that leap will always be better than be left feeling stuck and miserable for the rest of your life.
It will take a whole lot of courage, self love and determination to do just that, all of which I truly believe that each one of us has within, only if we commit fully to whatever it is that we are called to be and do.
Feeling happy, content and fulfilled at the end of the day is priceless. So what will you be willing to give to have those?
Loving yourself whole and embracing yourself fully, flaws included, gives you that superpower of being able to withstand even the harshest of all critics and the darkest shadows of self-doubt. Being comfortable with your own skin allows you to enjoy life as is without having the need to pretend or explain yourself, both of which not needed in the first place. You do you. And you deserve to take up space as you are.
2. Pursuing your dreams
Your dreams are there for a reason: to guide you to become what you’re really meant to be. So be brave enough to listen to your mind and heart about what they’re longing for, Go for it. You have nothing to lose. You only have so much to gain, because whatever the result may be, good or bad, you learn along the way. And you grow as you journey.
3. Letting go of toxic relationships
Surround yourself only with people who bring out the best in you and not the stress in you. Haha! Seriously, choose the people you wish to share spaces with. You don’t need a particular relationship to validate you that you are good enough, that you belong, that you are wanted, needed and loved. IF it’s no longer sparking joy or inspiration, it’s time to say good bye to that relationship. It doesn’t make you a bad person (same goes with the other party, if I am to say this objectively), it only means that you have learned your lesson and the next chapter awaits without them playing any part in it. And that’s perfectly ok.
4. Falling in love
Yihiiii!!! Haha! Admit it, there’s something unexplainably amazing when you give and receive love. So loving will always be worth the risk. Please take note though that this does not only mean falling in love with another person; it can also mean falling in love with yourself and what you do. Don’t be afraid to commit mistakes, to experience challenges or to be vulnerable in between — all those are part of your heart’s journey towards its own happiness. Just go and grow with the flow.
5. Starting all over again
If ever you find yourself at the lowest point in your life, whether coming from a heart break, a failure or whatever else led you there, be brave enough to pick yourself up and start all over again. Because you can. You had to reach rock bottom so that you will have a really solid foundation when you finally embark once more on the journey that’s really meant for you. You only have to make that choice to give yourself the permission to experience the magic of new beginnings once more.
So which risk are you going to take?
All of them? Great!
I got you, Unicorn.
You will be just fine.
And yes, it will be worth it.
The more, the merrier, as they say.
I say: True for some, but not for all.
You see at times, less can be more and having enough is a blessing by itself.
The things we normally forget because we keep on comparing ourselves to others, trying to live up to society’s expectations and wanting to look good in the eyes of many. Definitely not the way to be happier, if that’s your goal.
Don’t get me wrong: wanting more in life is normal. Who doesn’t want an upgrade? However, it doesn’t mean that you should be miserable in your current space with what you have. Remember, you can still enjoy the present without stressing yourself much about what can still be in the future.
That is what being content with what you have now means. Being present and grateful as you live and flourish by choice in the now.
1, Create a list of the things that you initially wished for that you have now
We are so blessed in so many ways than one. Sadly at times, we forget that because we set our eyes somewhere else. Take this time to inquire within and reflect on how much you have and what you’ve achieved since you started wishing for the things and results you wanted in your life. Trust me, when you count your blessings, you will never feel that something is lacking.
2. Focus on your own growth and journey
Eyes on the prize. And that means staying committed and loyal to your own #bestmeever . Stop peeking into the lives of others. Or if you do, turn them as inspirations to do better. and not be bitter about your current space Never forget to acknowledge your own growth because it’s different from everyone else. So no sense of comparing.
3. Validate yourself in your current space and capacity
You’ve made it this far and you deserve a pat on the back. While things may not be perfect at present, recognize the things that have gone well and how much you learned in the process from both good and bad experiences. Being kinder to yourself inspires you more to go further, so gift yourself with the praises and loving words you long to hear from others.
4. Invest on yourself
You want to grow more? Invest on yourself and be genuinely excited with your own growth. You see, complaining about what you don’t have at present won’t get you closer to your goals. Working on yourself and focusing on your own growth, will. Take that class. Train at the gym. Get a coach. Do whatever it takes to make you love and appreciate yourself more.
5. Intentionally seek for silverlinings
Your current space, with what you have and don’t have, is teaching you valuable lessons you will need in your upcoming journey. Look beyond what seems less than perfect and see what you can learn along the way. Remember, at times, the best lessons come from the most painful experiences. And that includes that feeling of having less than enough. The bigger question is: what can be good about it? Inquire within.
I hope that after reading through this you get to have new appreciation for your current space as you become content with what you have now.
Know that contentment was never about having more.
It’s about being open and grateful for what you already have, or less there of.
Because regardless of all those, life goes on.
You’re happy.
Great.
That’s a very wonderful space to be in right now.
Maybe you’ve just healed from your past. Or achieved a new milestone. Or practicing new habits. that help you see the brighter side of things.
Whatever you’re doing, I am so glad it’s working for you.
I have always believed that genuine happiness should always be the main consideration when making life-changing decisions or pursuing one’s dreams and goals.
Being in that state of happiness actually works to one’s advantage.
So imagine, what if you can even be happier than you are now?
What if we can take that joy a notch higher? How different do you think you’re life would be?
Even more amazing I suppose.
I guess it’s all about adding that extra “oomph”… that “er” after the things that you’ve already been made familiar with in your journey.
If you know you can do more, do better. Don’t just settle for what’s easy. Treat the journey you have now as something that’s both empowering and exciting and allow yourself to grow in the process by humbly mastering all the challenges along the way. Give each one another try, this time with a little more effort, and see how that changes your results and how you feel about it initially.
2. Dream bigger
Nothing is impossible for a person who believes. Whatever your #bestmeever may look like, go for it. Aim higher. You’ve already made it this far. You can definitely go further, only if you allow your mind and heart to visualize bigger possibilities.
3. Become healthier
Take care of your over all wellness and well-being by only allowing people, things and situations that will contribute wonderfully to your health and happiness. Never take your health for granted and try at least doing one extra thing that will have your future self thank you at present.
4. Spend quality time with loved ones longer
Create new memories. Grow in harmony with people who make you feel so alive and make life worth living. When your heart overflows with gratitude and love, not only because of these people you choose to have in your space but also from within, you will be able to find more joy in even the most random things.
5. Be wiser.
Learn from your mistakes. Grow from them. Don’t let them define you. Instead, use them as stepping stones towards your own success. Remember, experience is the best teacher and regardless of whether it’s good or bad, it’s helping you acquire the knowledge and skills you need to push further in life. Just take them to heart.
You see, happiness is a matter of choice.
And by choosing to do (and be) all these things mentioned here, you allow yourself to be happier.
Time to take that happiness of yours to the next level.
Because you still can.
It’s not always about you.
Because the world does not revolve around you.
This.
Admittedly at times we tend to stress a lot when things don’t work out even if we have already done our best which leads us to become a little too sensitive for comfort.
Even well-meant feedbacks are taken like daggers because they hurt just as much.
However, we must take in consideration that it’s part of growing. Without feedback, whether good or bad, you wouldn’t know how else you can improve. And that can lead you to feeling stuck and unhappy if you continuously block what’s actually good for you and your growth.
Easier said than done, I know.
We always take pride in ourselves and our work because that’s what we are supposed to do: to love ourselves whole and embrace ourselves fully.
Correct.
And, what’s missing out though is that, unconditional love also requires full acceptance.
That we can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s perfectly fine.
So the big question is: how can you be comfortable with not taking things personally?
You know yourself better than anyone else. And every other person will have a different perception about you and what you’ve done. However, not everything that you hear is grounded on hard facts. Holding on to assumptions or opinions won’t ever get you the results you want. You will only confuse yourself more. Seek out an expert who can tell you objectively what you really need to hear. In the process of doing so, just keep your cool and park those opinions so they don’t block your logic as they play with your emotions.
2. It’s not about you, really
I said it before and I will say it again: it’s not always about you. People see you through their own lens of experiences. And those are definitely different than yours. So take to heart that their perceptions about you are coming from their own judgments which do not necessarily reflect your truth. So let them go.
3. Feedback is good
If you knew that it’s for your own good, something which can help you become your own #bestmeever , will you still be resistant to it? Take feedback as something for your consideration as you improve yourself along the way. You need not take them all to heart, learn how to discern what’s good for you. Take note though that you can only do that if you’re receptive to receiving them at first.
4. It’s still your call
Don’t let the words of others cripple you. You have the power to accept them or reject them. You just have to come from a space of authenticity and worthiness to be able to stand up for what you truly believe in. And trust me, you can. So stop stressing about what others have to say about you, because you are still in control of yourself.
5. You’ve proven yourself time and again
You making it this far speaks about what you’re made of and how far you can still go. If you have proven nay sayers time and again that they’re wrong, then why worry now? You have done it before. You can always do it again and again until they stop and accept that you will always be amazing beyond words.
After reading all these, I hope that you learn to not to take things personally.
Remember: you will always be more than what others have to say about you.
Keep shining.
Life is not perfect.
And that’s a fact.
We can only make the most of it by embracing each and every moment for what it is and what it brings.
And that includes the twist and turns, the usual curve balls and humps along the way.
Remember, no one can ever control or predict life in general. So don’t stress yourself trying to make things go your way always.
Because yes, that’s not exactly 100% possible.
However, it’s not easy admittedly to take that to heart always.
Most of the time, our own expectations (alongside those of others) get in the way.
Which eventually make us hate ourselves unnecessarily as we try so hard to figure things out by ourselves, in our terms.
We begin to question everything and everyone, including ourselves about the reasons why things are happening as they are.
Yep, change is inevitable. And usually, things get so chaotic before everything falls into place. Moving on or levelling up was never an easy task and the uncomfortable situation that you’re in right now is actually telling you that you’re embarking on either journey mentioned earlier.
2. You’re not yet ready
Greatness takes time. So allow yourself to fail forward. To commit mistakes. To experience hardships. Not getting what you want initially, whether it’s your dream job, a relationship you want or the recognition you aspire — is actually telling you to keep going as you keep growing. Try harder. Do better. Make room for improvements. Trust me, someday, your preparations will pay off.
3. You need to learn an important lesson
Any experience, good or bad, teaches us an important lesson we can use as we move forward in life. You are given challenging situations you can learn from so you can journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever . Please take note that if you’re experiencing the same stressful event over and over again and you noticed that it’s actually becoming harder and harder in the process, treat it as God’s (or the Universe’s) way of knocking some sense (and a whole lot of learning) into you.
4. You’re being protected
This is perhaps the trickiest one to spot. But it’s a real silver lining, if I may say. Life has its own way of saving you from toxic relationships, wrong decisions or merely settling. You just have to trust the process. Breaking up and letting go may be painful at first but what if staying was far worse? Think about that.
5. Better things are coming
Things have to fall apart to make room for better ones to come into place. Trust the process. Your space now might suck big time but know that it’s only temporary. Keep the faith. Keep moving forward. Better days ahead. Hang on.
I hope this list allows you to reframe your thoughts when things are not working out.
after all, they might actually be working right for you.
Finally.
Be your own greatest fan.
And that includes loving yourself whole and embracing yourself fully.
Which basically means, you have to stop hating yourself.
Hate is such a powerful negative emotion that we should be mindful about because it can wreck havoc not only on ourselves but on everything that we do and everyone around us.
However, we tend to hate ourselves when things don’t go as planned, when we fail to meet our own (and that of others too) expectations, when delays happen and we feel that we are not in control of the situation we’re in.
What escapes us though is that the more we hate ourselves, the more desired results don’t fall into place.
I tell you this now: how you treat yourself is a mirror of what you’re getting in life right now. Uhuh. Even the way others treat you is a reflection of what you allow (and don’t allow) in your own life.
I think I hit a nerve there, didn’t I?
Well, hopefully that opens your eyes towards the reality that you have to take responsibility for yourself and your life and not let other people, things or circumstances define you.
And while you’re at it, take this opportunity to learn how you can be kinder to yourself as you do away with self hate with these tips:
Pause. Breathe. Let calmness surround you. And ask yourself this powerful question: what’s under my control that I can focus on to help me get rid of this negative emotion? More often than not, we let ourselves be overwhelmed by what’s happening around us that we forget that what matters most is how we take charge of how we feel within and what’s under our control. Trust me, 5 minutes of grounding yourself can do wonders for you and lessen the anxiety, worries and stress that lead to unnecessarily hating yourself.
2. Remember how blessed you are
Yep, counting your blessings help. Give yourself more credit. You made it this far so admittedly you must have done something good in your life to deserve that progress. Take time to list down your blessings and allow yourself to feel grateful as you recognize each. In the process of doing so, you will get to realize that you deserve a pat on the back too. Give yourself just that.
3. Compliment yourself
If you find it easy to compliment others, apply that practice to yourself too. Self-affirmations can help empower you even during the most difficult days as you give yourself your own much needed boost of self-confidence and empowerment. Compliment your looks, praise your progress, remember your worth. All these matter. Like you do, too.
4. Question the validity of your negative emotion
There are perhaps a number of other underlying emotions that have resulted to self-hate. Try to uncover and understand them so that you get to process them better. As you get to deal with the root cause, you begin to slowly eliminate the negativity that resulted from piled up emotions coming from a space of overwhelm. I mean, do you really hate yourself for who and what are? Or are you just feeling scared about the outcome? Feeling guilty about what transpired? Yep, there can be many narratives that can be addressed differently, accordingly. Clarity is key.
5. Build a strong support circle
You are not alone in your journey. Other people share your sentiments so don’t judge yourself for reaching out for help. Surround yourself with people who bring out your best, you make you feel seen and heard and who can cheer you up when times are rough. Consider also seeking the help of mental health professionals if things become too much for you. Help is readily available. Always. You just have to ask.
To wrap this up, I just want you to take this to heart:
Never hate. Just have faith.
In yourself. In the process. And in the best days ahead.
You’re on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
So please, love yourself more.
“Don’t let money change you.”
One thing I always say to people who ask me for financial advice.
I mean, I am no financial guru nor a money making expert, however, I’d like to believe that I know how to manage my finances, one way or another. Haha!
Through the years, I made sure that I have enough money for investments, my savings and life’s little luxuries, enough for me to say that I can live comfortably with what I earn. And within my means, if I may add.
The latter actually is sacred to me; I don’t really splurge on stuff I can’t afford or would have troubles paying off.
That’s just me. Simply because I don’t want to fall into the trap of having so many debts to pay that may cause sleepless nights due to unwanted stress, anxieties and worries.
More than that, I also have seen a lot of relationships fall apart because of money matters. I mean, we’re talking about like years of friendship, families torn apart and romantic relationships turned sour because of unpaid debts.
Yeah, someone had to say that. And I guess being one of those who have experienced that, I can also relate fully to that ugly feeling when money takes control of even the most beautiful relationships, or so I (we) thought.
So since I have been asked time and again by people who are becoming highly anxious about their debts on how to deal with it, I decided to share my take on it.
Mind you, I do all these in the rare occasions I make a loan for an important investment e.g. a new property for AirBnB (there’s what you call good debt guys, none the less, it should be taken seriously as well) so that I get to maintain a good relationship with whomever I am getting money from e.g. super close friend (emphasis on super), bank loan etc. So yeah, it’s possible to make loans work for you without sacrificing your relationships.
Here are the 5 things you should remember:
The impulse of most people is to run away from their debts. Mind you though: you cannot resolve what you don’t face. So accept the fact that you have a debt to pay and face it responsibly. By this we mean not denying yourself to live in the now nor denying the existence of the debt, while you do away with the anxieties you are attaching to the future. When you start facing your “problem”, solutions will come to surface. You were brave enough to make that loan, so be braver to take responsibility for it.
2. Honor your word
Was there a contract signed? What were the agreements? Ensure that you are on the same page and never assume anything to avoid any misinterpretations. Remember, the moment that you affix your signature on something is the moment you put your credibility and integrity on the line. Never compromise them. Make sure to remember important dates and give payments that are due during that time. And yes, put everything into writing always.
3. Be honest
Ok, admittedly there might be some unforeseen events that may cause you to have problems paying up. Tell that upfront ahead of time. Approach with humility. Discuss possible solutions. Never just remain silent and wait for things to fix themselves, because more often than not, they won’t. Don’t give false hopes or pretend that everything is still according to planned. Remember, lying may get you off the hook initially, but will definitely put you in hot water in the long run. Honesty goes a long way. Never underestimate the compassion of people. But don’t ever abuse them too.
4. Practice empathy towards the other person
While it’s stressful to have debts, consider also that another person or party is involved. It’s not just about you. It’s also stressful for the person/party that you owe money to. So ask yourself this: how does the other person feel? what can help him/her understand better the situation I am caught in? What compromise can I propose for consideration? Remember, relationships will always be more important than money so be sensitive enough to acknowledge the needs and wants of the other person involved, whether a friend, family, loved one or business or work contacts. Initiate updates, assure them every now and then and commit to agreed upon deadlines. Don’t ever ignore them, make broken promises or open ended deadlines…I am beyond sure you don’t want that to happen to you as well and the other party/person does not deserve to be treated that way especially if they have done their part and have given you much consideration already.
5. Create solid plans
This can make or break any relationship. Seriously, if you don’t have any solid plans (and yes, that’s intentionally with an s!), then you’re putting yourself and your relationship in danger. Have plan A, plan b, or even a plan c to ensure that all bases are covered and you don’t go back to the other person/party with more negative news just because you only relied on one solution. While crafting many plans would be nice, committing to them is more crucial. Do away with lip service. Set exact deadlines. Seek help if needed. Walk the talk. Take the lead. That’s part of you becoming your own #bestmeever as you take responsibility for your self, debts and actions .
So let me end this blog post by reminding everyone that
your debts should never define you nor your relationships.
Your response towards them, will.
Take it from there.
