Things don't go always as planned.
And that's a fact.
At the end of the day, there are things far beyond our control: the future, unforeseen situations, emerging trends and even the behavior of people, among others.
And the lost of control over these things brings about "unwanted" change, most of which cause us stress and a whole lot of disappointment.
I know. We all dread that feeling of being helpless and frustrated about everything going on around us which seem overly traumatic at first, so to speak:
A broken relationship.
A missed opportunity.
A competition lost.
An unexpected plot twist.
And so much more.
However, letting our disappointments get the best of us will not only affect our mental health, but rather our over all wellness and well being as well. Imagine: being distracted, losing your motivation and sometimes your appetite, feeling angry and sad, blaming yourself and others, feeling insecure -- just some of the things you may experience when you feel overwhelmed by the unexpected experiences you now have on hand.
Awareness is key if you want to be able to process things freely. Do not invalidate whatever it is that you're feeling as of the moment, no matter how painful it may be. Running away from your own emotions will only worsen your state. What you can do is accept things as they are and try to inquire within and recognize what your emotions are really telling you. Example: not getting the job promotion made you feel sad and disappointed. However, digging deeper, the real reason is because you are fearful about not being able to pay your outstanding loans. Being able to determine the root cause of whatever it is you're feeling now helps you address it strategically as you move forward.
2. Focus on what's under your control
This is what we oftentimes forget: we are resisting too much the reality that we have on hand that's beyond our control. The key here is to eliminate the need to be on top of everything and then just surrender (to) and trust the process. As you let go of the resistance and welcome change openly, you allow yourself to be free from all your disappointments as you focus on what can still be, based on the influence and power you have on the situation on hand. As I always say, let go of anything and everything that's beyond your control. Life gets easier that way.
3. Intentionally look for the silverlinings
Asking yourself "what is this situation teaching me?" or "what can be good about this?" can do a whole lot of wonders for you. Each time that you focus on the lessons to be learned and the silverl inings, you unburden yourself from the negative emotions you may be feeling, disappointment included. When you change the way you look at things, you change the way you feel towards them.
4. Count your blessings
Difficult times make us forget how blessed we are to begin with. When faced with challenges, try to recall all your wins from the past and acknowledge how far you've gone. By mindfully doing so, you allow yourself to shift from a space of disappointment to a space of gratitude, which opens up your life to new opportunities there after.
5. Revalidate yourself from within
When things go wrong as they sometimes will, our self-worth gets hit the most as we begin to question our own skills and value due to the disappointment we are feeling as of the moment. However, we should never let ourselves be defined by external factors. What happens to us doesn't define us. How we respond to them, does so it's very important to give ourselves the validation we want and need so that we can rise above the situation and move on and forward accordingly. Never deprive yourself from hearing the affirmations you deserve to hear from the most important person in the room: you.
Feeling disappointed at the onset of things that have gone wrong is ok.
What is not ok is to dwell in that space because truth be told, you deserve so much more.
Nothing is permanent in this world. Including what initially broke your heart.
So take a deep breath, pick yourself up and start all over again.
Because you can.
You're on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
