Things don’t go always as planned.
And that’s a fact.
At the end of the day, there are things far beyond our control: the future, unforeseen situations, emerging trends and even the behavior of people, among others.
And the lost of control over these things brings about “unwanted” change, most of which cause us stress and a whole lot of disappointment.
I know. We all dread that feeling of being helpless and frustrated about everything going on around us which seem overly traumatic at first, so to speak:
A broken relationship.
A missed opportunity.
A competition lost.
An unexpected plot twist.
And so much more.
However, letting our disappointments get the best of us will not only affect our mental health, but rather our over all wellness and well being as well. Imagine: being distracted, losing your motivation and sometimes your appetite, feeling angry and sad, blaming yourself and others, feeling insecure — just some of the things you may experience when you feel overwhelmed by the unexpected experiences you now have on hand.
Awareness is key if you want to be able to process things freely. Do not invalidate whatever it is that you’re feeling as of the moment, no matter how painful it may be. Running away from your own emotions will only worsen your state. What you can do is accept things as they are and try to inquire within and recognize what your emotions are really telling you. Example: not getting the job promotion made you feel sad and disappointed. However, digging deeper, the real reason is because you are fearful about not being able to pay your outstanding loans. Being able to determine the root cause of whatever it is you’re feeling now helps you address it strategically as you move forward.
2. Focus on what’s under your control
This is what we oftentimes forget: we are resisting too much the reality that we have on hand that’s beyond our control. The key here is to eliminate the need to be on top of everything and then just surrender (to) and trust the process. As you let go of the resistance and welcome change openly, you allow yourself to be free from all your disappointments as you focus on what can still be, based on the influence and power you have on the situation on hand. As I always say, let go of anything and everything that’s beyond your control. Life gets easier that way.
3. Intentionally look for the silverlinings
Asking yourself “what is this situation teaching me?” or “what can be good about this?” can do a whole lot of wonders for you. Each time that you focus on the lessons to be learned and the silverl inings, you unburden yourself from the negative emotions you may be feeling, disappointment included. When you change the way you look at things, you change the way you feel towards them.
4. Count your blessings
Difficult times make us forget how blessed we are to begin with. When faced with challenges, try to recall all your wins from the past and acknowledge how far you’ve gone. By mindfully doing so, you allow yourself to shift from a space of disappointment to a space of gratitude, which opens up your life to new opportunities there after.
5. Revalidate yourself from within
When things go wrong as they sometimes will, our self-worth gets hit the most as we begin to question our own skills and value due to the disappointment we are feeling as of the moment. However, we should never let ourselves be defined by external factors. What happens to us doesn’t define us. How we respond to them, does so it’s very important to give ourselves the validation we want and need so that we can rise above the situation and move on and forward accordingly. Never deprive yourself from hearing the affirmations you deserve to hear from the most important person in the room: you.
Feeling disappointed at the onset of things that have gone wrong is ok.
What is not ok is to dwell in that space because truth be told, you deserve so much more.
Nothing is permanent in this world. Including what initially broke your heart.
So take a deep breath, pick yourself up and start all over again.
Because you can.
You’re on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
Health is wealth.
This is perhaps one of the sayings we all grew up with.
I remember writing this down back then in grade school when I was answering a friend’s autograph book (my, my, I missed this!).
This alongside my other favorite motto then “time is gold.” Haha! I am sure you can all relate.
Kidding aside though, prioritizing my health has always been an advocacy of mine.
However, through the years, it has evolved from focusing on the physical aspect alone, to including several others: mental, social, emotional, financial…all of which comprise my definition of holistic wellness.
I have always believed that one should consider all the aspects that affects one’s overall well-being and that it’s ideal to treat each one equally to achieve that healthy balance, as part of becoming one’s own #bestmeever .
Truth be told: you can’t really function at your optimum if a certain aspect of your life holds you back e.g. your mindset, how you feel, the people around you, your finances — yep all these have an impact in your growth so you must be mindful on how you address each aspects needs accordingly.
You deserve to pause. To rest and recalibrate. Don’t ever feel guilty for giving yourself quality “me time”. You are worthy of that, as much as everyone else. Avoid experiencing burn out by recognizing your own limits, needs and wants in the pursuit of your goals. Whether it’s all about making pocket stops or taking a month long vacation, do what you must to keep you happy, inspired and charged up so you don’t end up hating whatever it is that you’re doing as of the moment. And yes, you don’t have to hurry life.
2. Declutter your personal space
And no, I am not just talking about your messy room. Haha! But yeah, that’s also included because remember: your physical space affects your mental health and your mood so always be mindful enough to keep it clean and tidy. Apart from that though, you may also want to declutter other aspects of your life which also influence your space: the people around you, your own behaviors and actions, situations you allow yourself to be in constantly — know which of these you need to let go off because they no longer serve you and which ones you need to nurture so that you can grow even more. What you allow in your space influences you so know that you have the power to choose what’s best for you.
3. Develop a healthy morning routine
How you start your day can greatly influence how the rest of your day will go. So it’s very much important to start your day on a happy and healthy note: meditate for a few minutes after waking up, affirm yourself and practice gratitude before having a hearty breakfast, find time to exercise and be mindful enough to notice simple joys that can inspire you for the rest of the day. Do these every single day and notice how your life will change for the better there after.
4. Start a passion project
Do whatever it is that makes you feel happy, complete and fulfilled. Regardless of your age, it’s never too late to work on your passion project because that will give your life new meaning as it uplifts your sense of purpose. So yeah, this is your sign to start that business, build that NGO or audition for that role you’ve always wanted. You are your only limitation, so don’t let yourself (and your insecurities) get in the way of what you’re meant to be. Keep going — that gives your life new inspiration and meaning.
5. Invest on personal development
You will always be the best investment you can make so don’t ever feel bad when you spend for yourself and your growth. You need to value yourself enough for you to seek for ways on how else you can improve and grow so that eventually, you will end up happier and more fulfilled. Take that class. Get a coach. Embark on a self-discovery journey. You deserve to give yourself the kind of life you’ve always wanted to have. Go for it. That will always be better than having a lot of regrets about what could have been in the future.
I hope these help you improve your overall wellness as you learn and discover more about yourself in the process.
May you always be at the pink of health in all aspects of your life.
Because you deserve it.
Keep going. Keep growing.
This has been my mantra since after I celebrated my 42nd better last August 12 in Bangkok.
And yes, I had a grand time as I took my coaching hat off for almost two weeks and just let myself enjoy each and every moment with my loved ones during that trip.
What made that celebration even more special is the fact that my social media platforms and phone were filled with heartfelt greetings and well-wishers. I felt the love from all over. Never knew I mattered that much to a lot of people beyond expectations. And for that I am grateful. I just have to put it out here so that each and everyone who celebrated with me then will know. Again, thank you guys. You made this Unicorn very happy.
After blowing my official birthday candle then during our dinner at Baiyoke Sky Hotel, I had some ample time to reflect on what I wanted to do for the rest of my life as this new chapter unfolds.
I mean, I have always been a planner: I know what needs to be done upon going back to Manila, what my next steps will be, what programs I will be launching and how can make my 42nd year even more amazing.
Yeah, it was all about moving on and forward.
But then it struck me as well: in order to keep going, I must also stop a number of things, behaviors and whatever is holding me back from becoming my own #bestmeever .
And that isn’t exactly easy, you know. Coming from honesty and vulnerability, much like everyone else, I have grown to be so comfortable with a number of things, people and situations, both knowingly and unknowingly, hinder my progress and prevents me from becoming truly happier in my space.
However, truth be told, I know that it will be all worth it when I muster all my strength to finally cut ties with these things that short change my own value as a person.
I hope that by sharing these with you, I know that one way or another you can relate too. My goal is not to be perfect in your eyes (or mine) but rather to show each one of us are very much alike and we are in this together.
And yes, you don’t have to wait for your birthday to take action. Let’s do this together now, shall we?
Presenting to you the top 5 things I intend to fully stop to allow myself to grow further in my 42nd year of existence:
It is what it is. While it’s important to see the goodness in each and every person that I meet, I should not allow that perspective to blur what is here and now. Yeah, sometimes people are not just really having a bad day; it can be their usual reaction towards others and I must be mindful of that. Being totally open instead and coming from a genuine space of concern, I want to be more comfortable in telling people how things are from my end for as long as I am clear and honest with my intentions of doing so. After all, I am a firm believer that tolerating any form of bad behavior isn’t exactly a sign of love.
2. Feeling guilty for letting people go
Not everyone has to play a part in our story, even those who have been with us for quite sometime but because of reason or two, have changed along the way. And that is fully ok. To outgrow people, To realize that we are no longer on the same page. To let them and myself be. It doesn’t make any of us a bad person. It only makes us respect our personal spaces more. So I guess there’s no sense of feeling bad about giving ourselves what is due in the first place: the freedom to grow on our own.
3. Allowing others to take me for granted
While I have been known to be kind and patient, I can’t just let myself be in a one-sided relationship. I need to be more mindful of the circle I keep and what value they provide me as well. I mean, I can’t just be too lenient when working with friends or family when it comes to agreed upon deliverables because exceptional output has nothing to do with the relationship but on one’s commitment. Note to self: I don’t have to please everyone and it’s not my responsibility to save everyone as well. So this year, I am allowing myself to just be with people who know how to acknowledge and appreciate my value as they inspire me to be my best through good times and bad times. And that goes both ways, mind you. Because that is what we all truly deserve.
4. Overlooking the value of here and now
Admittedly there are times when life seems to be overwhelming: work, responsibilities, goals, expectations among others. But hey, it’s best to remember that what we can only control is what is here and now —and there are times we don’t even have to be in control. I guess in this case, I need to allow myself to be 100% present wherever I am , without having to worry about the multiple hats I wear. And yes, I know I no longer need to wear them always at the same time. Because they don’t define me. And what is important is how I make the most of today because that’s the only thing for certain by simply letting myself be: flowing and free.
5. Thinking that I am invincible
Ok, admittedly that as we age, we forget that we also have new needs and wants to be addressed and a number of new limitations to accept. That’s the hard part. While I know that I am in good shape, it’s also important to acknowledge that staying up way late at night or engaging in super strenuous and highly stressful activities are no longer my cup of tea. I need to understand and accept that my body is changing and so I must support it with the tender loving care it deserves. It’s all about recalibrating my adventures and how I view fun and excitement in my life. And no, I don’t feel the need to belong to do this because I am doing it for myself and my own well-being, something far more important than simply fitting in.
Whew, that was a handful. However, what’s good now is that we can be quite accountable for each other as we journey towards our own #bestmeever .
Because when we put all these on my list on a hard stop, there’s no stopping us from growing and becoming the person we are meant to be.
Excited for that to happen.
Based on actual experience: There will always be at least one person who will hate you for no reason at all, regardless if you’re not doing anything wrong.
Can relate? Quite factual actually.
I have yet to be in a space where politics does not exist and gossiping is a thing of the past. And mind you, I have always been conscious enough to not get myself involve in any way simply because to be honest, I don’t need any form of negativity in my space.
I guess that itself makes me a target of gossips: because I don’t give a F*CK. Haha!
Admittedly though, when I was younger, I was fond of confronting people left and right, wanting to prove a point and assert myself in the process. That was me operating from my huge, bruised ego.
But now, through coaching, I have become more and more mindful about my actions as I gained clarity about what really matters most: my space, my peace.
The first step really is to understand why people gossip behind your back. Because with understanding you get to accept people as they are and free yourself from the notion that what they’re doing is really all about you.
Because it’s not. Really. I mean gossips are mere hear says. All assumptions. No facts.
You might be asking now: why do some people like to engage in it?
I can sum up some of the reasons why for your understanding, not tolerance: they feel insecure. They want to belong. Ego is hurting. They have nothing great happening in their lives as of the moment and they long for excitement. They want to gain sympathy by playing victim in their stories.
Reading through this, I know that it’s still very hard to let them off the hook easily but practicing compassion, not only for them but towards yourself too, can do wonders for you as you deal with gossips accordingly.
If you’re the listener, ask for proof. If you’re the subject, hold on to your facts. You don’t have to shove everything up their throats though. Just be prepared to show them when asked because at the end of the day, those screen shots, witnesses and other pieces of proof can vindicate you in no time. It’s also fun to watch gossipers scramble in panic when they can’t produce proof about their gossips. They’d probably leave you alone because you’ll be no fun for them as an absorber.
2. Detach yourself from the rumors spreading around
You don’t have to blame yourself for the situation or doubt yourself and your worth in the process. Again, their opinion is not your truth. You know better. And for as long as you have proof to show, walk on with your head up high and let the rumors around you die a natural death.
3. Let others experience you differently
When other people are questioning your capabilities or your worth, show them who you are and what you’re really made of instead. Don’t waste your time arguing with people who won’t really give you a chance to prove yourself. Focus on just moving on, day after day, unbothered and focused on yourself and your growth as you journey towards your own #bestmeever and let others experience you as you are, outside of the rumors surrounding you. That is a game changer indeed.
4. Focus on being genuinely happy and in succeeding
Turn those gossips into stepping stones towards your happiness and biggest goals. Remember, people who are trying to pull you down are actually underneath you in so many ways so stay undaunted. Don’t be distracted by unnecessary chatter that don’t really contribute to your growth and happiness Let them be and just live each day as you please, letting yourself flourish fully along the way. Remember: success and genuine happiness can be the best form of revenge without even having to lift a finger to prove a point to your bashers.
5. Surround yourself with the right people
Don’t go out explaining yourself to people who don’t really matter. Be with people who genuinely love and support you. Know that for as long as they know your truth, that will always be more than enough. Let them be the ones to put in good words for you. There are always two sides of the stories, but yours become powerful when others speak on your behalf about your worth and what’s really true. Take this to heart: real friends and family will defend you in your absence. Such a comforting thought.
I hope this list empowers you the next time you experience being the talk of the town.
Remember: people close to you will always verify facts with you. Those who take just one side are not your people. And that’s ok. You can’t please everyone.
But you can always choose to hold on to your truth and the facts surrounding it.
Never compromise your credibility and integrity just because others have failed to see it.
It’s never about them and their gossips to begin with.
So don’t stoop down their level.
Reflect on this: why does it seem harder to forgive ourselves than others when things go wrong?
Interesting question right? But very much relatable.
Oftentimes we beat ourselves up relentlessly whenever we experience failures, disappointments and unforeseen situations, most of which beyond our control.
And as we do this, we forget this very important fact: that no matter how bad we treat ourselves, that won’t be the solution to whatever concern we may have on-hand. In fact, that can even make things worse. And yes, same goes for those who have thought of committing suicide or any form of self-harm to resolve their issues. This is your reminder.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will, the key here is to practice self-compassion: giving yourself that full understanding, love and support that will allow you to forgive yourself and move on and forward from the experience minus the blame game.
Here are 5 things you can do to practice self-compassion:
You don’t have to be perfect to become your own #bestmeever ; you just have to give all that you’ve got, with all that you are each and every time an opportunity arises, regardless of the results there after. You are allowed to commit mistakes and your flaws don’t make you less deserving as a person. As you are now, as you strive to better, that’s more than enough.
2. Acknowledge how far you’ve gone in your journey
Don’t be caught up too much in the present chaos. Reflect on your previous success and give yourself more credit. You’ve made it this far. And you owe that to yourself. The least you can do is be kinder to yourself along the way, because you deserve that as you do your best.
3. Don’t let the pressure around you get the best of you
Fact: no matter how good you are, people will always judge you based on their standards and their experiences. And that’s ok. You don’t have to take their opinions to heart. You know yourself better. Treating yourself like trash won’t change their views about you so why bother? Focus on improving yourself and let your success do the talking. You don’t need to stress yourself out trying to explain to others why things happened as they did or why you’re not the person they paint you to be. You don’t owe anyone any explanation for letting yourself be so don’t be too hard on yourself when you feel pressured.
4. Remember that everything is temporary
You will always remember how badly you treated yourself long after the unfortunate event is over, leaving you with feelings of guilt, shame and anger. And those emotions can weigh you down big time, stopping you from achieving the growth you want in the first place. So never do any permanent harm to yourself over something that’s temporary. Instead reflect: will this issue of mine still matter after a day, a week, a month or a year’s time? If not, let go and forgive yourself. No sense of holding on to something that does not have a long term, life-changing impact on your life anyway.
5. Be mindful about silver linings
I say this time and again: everything happens for a reason. So behind each and every painful life experience is a beautiful lesson that will help you move on and forward. Focus on those. They matter more. It may not seem that way yet at present but those lessons will help you go and grow further in life only if you take them to heart. By accepting things as they are, understanding and forgiving yourself along the way, you allow yourself to grow in harmony with the flow life has in store for you. Stop resisting. Start trusting more.
At the end of the day, know that regardless of whatever you’ve been through and whatever space you’re in as of the moment, know that your experiences don’t define you and your worth.
Because each one of us is special in our own way, flaws included.
And that makes us all worthy of forgiveness and second, at times even a third, and fourth, chances.
Without commitment, you cannot succeed.
This is one thing I take to heart seriously.
Let’s face it: it’s not that easy to pursue goals, especially if they’re big ones.
And I am talking about life-changing, industry-disrupting dreams that we all have.
On the other hand, admittedly though, at times, even the smallest steps seem so hard.
There are days that we feel that we are not our best, that things are not working out as planned, that nothing is happening.
It’s during those days when our confidence hits low, our productivity slows down and our joyful, optimistic smiles fade into oblivion.
Yep, those days make us question our worth and if our dreams are still worth pursuing. It also affects the relationships we have not only with others, but with ourselves as well.
That’s when commitment comes to play.
It holds everything together: your self-esteem, your focus, your motivation and your ability to endure and grow.
That is why it’s very important to stay committed to not only your goals, but your over-all wellness and wellbeing relationships included, no matter how difficult life may be at times.
Commitment amplifies your credibility and integrity, promotes consistency and resilience and helps you face challenges with the least resistance. It anchors heavily on your purpose and core values, which are driving forces when pursuing your own dreams and goals as you become your own #bestmeever .
Staying committed is easier said than done. However, if you find yourself in that space now as you struggle with your commitments, whether to yourself, to your work or even with others, then this blog post is for you. Remember, not honoring your commitments can lead to broken relationships, lost opportunities and dreams unfulfilled so it’s very important to keep your word always.
Forgetting about your commitment is never a valid excuse. You can never be too busy to honor your promise. Write down all your agreements, whether with others or yourself, and set specific dates to remind you of them. On a personal note, I always jot down my reminders on my smart phone and set alarms on them in my calendar so I will always remember and never miss anything a long the way. I also have a habit of scanning my notes/calendars before my day starts and after a day’s work to ensure that I got everything covered. You may also try to post them (works best with goals) in random areas where you can see them everyday so that you are made aware of them consistently.
2. Start with small steps then gradually adjust accordingly
While looking at the big picture (and getting inspired by it) is key, it can also be scary at times because it seems way out there when one is just starting. Chunking down the things to be done and turning them to bite sized efforts makes them more doable and allows you to slide into the new routine easier. Once you’re comfortable, you can gradually increase the effort, consistency and time that you spend in pursuing your goals so that you amplify your progress seamlessly without having to stress or pressure yourself to go big immediately.
3. Revisit your “WHY”
I used the word “revisit” here because sometimes, our personal “WHY” changes along the way. We may realize that we wanted to achieve something initially just because we want to prove others wrong or make a point without realizing that underneath it, we are longing to address an emotional void that we were overlooking. Along the way, check on your reasons for wanting to pursue your goals. See if they are still in alignment. If not, tweak them as you wish. Remember at the end of the day, you must pursue what’s true and genuinely meaningful for you so that you can stay committed.
To stay committed, go beyond the usual celebration of milestones and wins. Choose to celebrate what you have in your space instead coming from a space of gratitude. Whether things are moving fast or life seems to be paused to give you time to reflect and recalibrate your commitment, appreciate the space you’re in and know that you are exactly where you’re meant to be. Ask yourself this: how can my current space help strengthen my commitment to myself, my goals and others?
5. Rest and recalibrate
You don’t always have to be functioning at your 100% nor always in the hot pursuit of your goals. Allow yourself to breathe and just let yourself be. You deserve that time off too to honor yourself. You’re doing a good job in being mindful about your commitments, but don’t push yourself too hard to the point of getting burned out while doing so. Having renewed energy can fuel up your commitment in the long run.
Commitment is a big word. Having it can give you larger than life benefits.
So never take yours for granted.
Health is wealth.
And I believe that we can all agree on this.
However, as we grow older, we realize that this popular saying is not just about our physical health.
It also speaks true of the other aspects we have in our life.
This is essentially what holistic wellness focuses on.
It’s all about having a healthy state across physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, financial and environmental aspects of one’s life.
Taking care of your own over-all health and well-being is part of practicing self-love and self-acceptance as you work on yourself, improve more in the process and become the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
Physical
Mental
Social
Emotional
Financial
Environmental
Spiritual
I hope these tips will help you achieve the holistic health and wellness you want and deserve in your life.
At the end of the day, you are the best investment you can ever make.
So make sure you take care of yourself, holistically.
The journey to self-acceptance is not an easy one.
And I kid you not.
Admittedly, it’s not exactly a walk in the park when you have to embrace yourself whole and love yourself fully, coming from past experiences filled with pain and which made you doubt yourself and your worth in the process.
Along the way, those triggers can wreck havoc in your own mental health and over all-wellbeing. And that’s exactly the space we want to avoid at all costs.
However, we must bear in mind this important reminder: self-acceptance is a super power. It’s something that will allow us to push further in life, no matter what happens and it helps anchor us to what matters most at the end of the day and not be swayed by the judgments of others (and our own too).
Seeing the value of self-acceptance in our personal journey towards our own #bestmeever , I believe that commitment to personal growth and happiness is key. Something which can be made possible if one is totally clear with his own set of values, experiences and beliefs.
Comparing yourself with others make you feel something is lacking or something is wrong with you, which isn’t exactly the case to begin with. Respect the fact that we all have different journeys and levels of success so there’s no point in comparing. Learn to be comfortable in your own space as you grow at your own pace. Remember, wherever you are right now in life is where you’re meant to be. And there’s nothing wrong with that because that space is preparing you for better days ahead. P.S. Nobody’s perfect so stop looking at others as if they were.
2. Acknowledge your progress
No matter how small it may seem at a glance, acknowledge every step forward that you’ve made because that brings you closer to your goals. Try to reflect on your journey and celebrate how far you’ve gone. You may not be at the finish line yet and that’s ok. In time, with your commitment to yourself and your growth, you’ll make it. Know that if you’re doing the best that you can, with all that you have, that’s more than enough. Learn to be comfortable with being a work in progress. You’re doing a good job just being yourself.
3. Highlight your strengths
There’s something special about you and it’s up to you to turn your potential into something great. Do an inventory of your skills or what you’re good at. What do people compliment you about? Work on them. Share them to the rest of the world. There will always be a space for you to share yourself and your gifts so never disregard your own valuable existence.
4. Practice self-compassion
Forgive yourself for whatever shortcomings you may had, for expectations about yourself that weren’t met, for flaws that life may have pointed out to you in the process. Stop blaming yourself for things beyond your control. Remember, being unkind to yourself won’t ever resolve your problem on hand. Working around your “flaws” and seeing the good within as you affirm yourself, will.
5. Do away with assumptions
Don’t let your non-existent worries get in the way of loving yourself more. Remember, the only thing that’s sure here is that you need to accept yourself fully so you can maximize your potential. All other fears, assumptions shouldn’t matter. You can’t control the reactions of others or the circumstances surrounding you. What you can control though is how you respond to them coming from your authentic, empowered self born from full self-acceptance. Note that you spend the same amount of energy focusing on what went wrong and not getting any better in the process, and in focusing on what can go right and allow your hope to pull you through. Choose what’s best for you in the long run.
Self-acceptance is a choice we have to make every single day.
And hopefully, as you remember these tips, you commit to that fully.
Because you deserve to choose yourself over and over again.
As you are. And all that you will ever be.
Dieting can do wonders for you.
And I think you will all agree with me on this.
Lose away those extra pounds and you become more healthy.
Shred off the excess fat and you become fitter.
Incorporate healthy eating regularly and it becomes a mindful, powerful habit that brings about change.
You see, dieting does not affect one physically, but rather helps one also to have better self-perceptions and healthier habits that bring about confidence, accountability and self-worth.
And like how your personal space affects your mental health, your diet also does the same thing. Eating healthily and mindfully helps your brain function better which then allows you to be at your best always.
So now, imagine if you can also have a healthy mental diet so that you can remain mentally fit. How different will your life be then if you are not overwhelmed by worries, anxieties or stress? Probably your life will be a thousand, or even a million times better. Haha!
Well, your prayers have been answered because now, I will share with you your guide to a healthy mental diet. Thank me later guys. haha!
But before we begin, allow me to introduce you to this premise of dieting: when dieting, there are things (food and habits) you need to consider: what you need to totally stop, what you can do less of, what you need to pause first, what you can do more of and what you should finally go for. A whole lot of work but hey, taking responsibility for yourself and your growth is part of you becoming your own #bestmeever so might as well commit to it.
Let’s apply the same concept to your healthy mental diet for better understanding.
This is one of the biggest, if not the biggest source of anxiety and worries among individuals because it puts unnecessary pressure and emotional and mental burden on a person who thinks that he/she is falling behind in life. This is not particularly true because everyone is ALLOWED to breeze through life at his/her own pace, in his own space. We all have different journeys so instead of complaining about what others have or don’t have, why not just focus on yourself and your growth? Living life was never meant on anyone else’s standards other than your own. Don’t let the lives of others make you feel that you have less in life. You don’t know what happens behind what they are showing to the rest of the world. For all you know, you might actually be doing so much better than you thought. Give yourself more credit. And respect your own personal journey.
2. What you need to lessen: your time on social media
Stop escaping reality. Remember, not facing your problems can only make matters worse in the long run. Instead of spending so much time online, why not try to become 100% present in your current space. Acknowledge both the good and the bad. Because every time you recognize what needs work and act on it, you allow yourself to grow. Don’t fall into the trap of having social media dictate what kind of life you should have because more often than not, standards are quite ridiculous online. While it’s ok to stay connected online, it’s so much more important to build genuine connections with people who really matter to you offline: your friends, families, loved ones and yourself, outside of the social media realm. By doing so, you allow your mind to be at peace with the present as it focuses on what really is, than what it could have been based on what you’ve seen online.
3. What you need to pause: your own expectations
Hurrying through life thinking there’s a deadline or an exact timeline to follow will only make you more anxious and sad if you’re not able to live up to your own expectations (and that of others too). Well now, allow yourself to breathe by just letting yourself be, going and growing with the flow, without the need to hurry or beat yourself up because of your own expectations. Know that whatever it is that you’ve been through or going through as of the moment, those are leading you to where you’re meant to be. So be patient with your own journey and be grateful for the space you’re in. And yes, you don’t need to get married at 25, have a family before 30, be a millionaire at 35 or retire at 40. You can live life and appreciate it for what it is, not based on how you expected it to be.
4. What you can do more of: me time
Self-care is never selfish. So give yourself just that. Take off the multiple hats that you’re wearing on a daily basis and just focus on giving yourself what is due: undivided time, attention and a whole lot of loving. Make sure that every single day, you squeeze in ample time in your schedule to do the things you love and reflect in between. Rest improves your mood and brain and body function so don’t ever compromise it for the sake of any deadline. I said this before and will say it again for emphasis: your work can wait, but your life can’t. At the end of the day, your wellness and wellbeing matter more.
5. What you can finally go for: self-improvement classes
Learning is a continuous process and every time you allow yourself to upskill you get a renewed sense of joy and fulfillment. Now is the best time to enroll in that class you’ve always wanted, whether it’s a baking class, a yoga class or even a coaching program. You are the best investment you can ever make so don’t ever short change yourself by scrimping on your learnings. Remember this: when you stop learning, you stop growing. So don’t even think of going that direction. You deserve more. Always.
Staying mentally fit is one of the biggest commitment you can make to yourself.
It may not be easy, it may take some time and a whole lot of effort.
But know at the end of the day, subscribing to your healthy mental health diet will always be worth it.
Make today your Day 1.
Ever since the pandemic happened, I became a home body.
That is why when I moved in to my new space last year, I made sure I would fall in love with it and make working from home a pleasurable experience.
Here’s a sneak peek of my humble pad’s living room with a modern nature theme. I chose this one because I missed the greens and it’s relaxing to the eyes. I wanted my space to be inspiring as I coach, give talks or write from home.
Yes guys, how your personal space looks and feels matter a lot as it has an impact on your mental health as well.
I didn’t know this until I had myself go on a coaching journey and got to discover how my previous space reflected my mental state back then.
And now with the clarity and empowerment that comes with becoming my own #bestmeever , I have noticed how my preferences for my personal space have also evolved.
As essential as coaching is to one’s life, it is also very much important to assess what you have within your personal space.
By personal space here I refer about the things, people and circumstances that you willingly surround yourself with.
So at this point in time, I would like you to look around you, reflect and recognize your personal space. What are you allowing in your space? How do they influence the way you live on a day to day basis? How do they impact your own mental health?
Ok, once your done, breathe. Remember, acknowledgement is the first step to recognizing what needs to be adjusted in your space to make it more mental-health friendly.
Always ask yourself this: what is the value of (whatever it is you want to bring in) in my space now and how will it help me grow there after? It’s very important to be mindfully aware of selecting only those which have real value to you and can influence long term growth and happiness. Remember, being impulsive leads you to hoard stuff (and be with people)which won’t really answer a great need or want of yours and will just be a waste of space. P.S. Not all that is free, on sale, or single must be taken in. Read that again.
2. Declutter
Not everything (and everyone) deserves space in your current life. So check on your closet, your phone book, your social media and your mind heart and assess: who or what needs to go? Because by allowing yourself to let go of things, people, and memories that no longer serve you, you make space for what needs to be in your life at present. Be grateful that you had the chance to encounter all those before and know that they have already served their purpose, therefore, it’s now time for you to move on and forward.
3. Create inspiring spaces
Do you love writing? Meditating? Reading? Just some of the things that require you to have breathing spaces — a safe space away from the hustle and bustle of the real world. It is suggested that you create a mini nook that allows you to be comfortable, as you think freely and let yourself be so that you will be able to maximize this self-growth experience. Fill it with things and memories e.g. plants, pictures etc. that make you feel genuinely happy from within. Same goes when choosing who to surround yourself with on a personal note. Remember, you become the sum total of the 5 people you regularly interact with so be sure to make them inspiring.
4. Establish boundaries
Your space. Your rules. Choose what best works for you. Whether it’s a simple as no shoes inside the living room or no bringing of work-related tasks at home, these actually help you maintain a safe space where you can just be yourself without having to worry about anything else. This can also apply to people you actually allow in your space. You don’t have to entertain anyone who’s not in alignment with your core values and that doesn’t make you a bad person. It only means that you know how to value your space and respect differences by letting others own theirs as well.
5. Tuck in random positive reminders
Self-affirmation plays an important role in the success and happiness of an individual. Make sure to inspire positive self talk as you strategically put random inspirational quotes or reminders in sight. Whether it’s your favorite quote displayed on your living room, an inspirational ref magnet or a framed affirmation on your bedside table, know that they help remind you how amazing you are even during the toughest days. Your space must be able to do just that to help your mental health flourish.
Your personal space matters if you want to become your own #bestmeever .
Make sure you own it as much as possible.
Because that is what you deserve.
