By doing so, we lose the opportunity to live in the now and enjoy what life has to offer.
Listen guys, becoming your own #bestmeever involves being able to be brave enough to let go of the things, situations and people that no longer serve you well or are no longer true and applicable in your current space.
Here’s a list of the 5 things that shouldn’t matter anymore in your current space:
Your previous mistakes
They already taught you important lessons. You took all those to heart. That’s enough. You don’t have to keep beating yourself up because it’s over and done with. What matters is you’ve grown from them.
2. Your failures
See it this way: you’re still here. You’ve made it this far. And that alone makes you successful. It means that you still have another chance to make things right. And not everyone has that beautiful opportunity. Seize it.
3. People you’ve outgrown
Not everyone has to play a part in your current story. And that doesn’t make you (or them) as a bad person. Each person that comes in your life has a purpose. And once they leave, that means they have already fulfilled theirs. And that’s something to be really grateful for.
4. The future’s uncertainty
No one has control over the future. Yes, you included. So stop stressing over what lies ahead and just focus on making the most of what today can be. That’s the only thing certain indeed: what you have now. The present moment.
5. The small stuff
Reflect on this: you’ve probably been through worse. And you made it through. So don’t let things which are not life changing so to speak take up most of your time, space and happiness. If it wouldn’t matter in the next 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks or 5 years, don’t sweat it.
As you read over this, I hope that you managed to reflect on your own and clear some space in your current life.
By making space in your present, you allow yourself to enjoy the gift of today to the fullest. And that’s one thing you can never bring back once it’s done.
You will always be the greatest investment you can make. So true.
At the end of the day, it’s all about you.
How you make your decisions, how you choose the people you choose to surround yourself with, how you keep your own self-worth intact.
It can be said that at times, how others see you (and treat you, mind you) is basically a reflection of how much work you put on yourself and how many things you actually do away with.
While the goal is not to please others with everything that you do, it is important to know and take to heart that your growth should also be on top of your list.
And that can look like feeling better about yourself, looking the part, achieving more and inspiring others along the way.
Not to mention that as you grow your worth as a person, other people will naturally gravitate towards you, allowing you to build new relationships, discover new opportunities and expand your reach and influence.
Sounds good huh?
Then allow me to share with you the 5 ways how you can grow your worth:
1.) Invest in yourself
I just had to repeat this. Yes, it’s that important. Take that class. Go on that vacation. Work out. Have that facial. Do whatever can help you improve yourself in all aspects. You deserve that. Remember, when you look good and feel good, you become more confident and desirable, not only to yourself but also in the eyes of others.
2.) Network
Allow yourself to expand your social circle and be intentional in meeting people who can add value to your life. I always say that you become the sum total of the 5 people you spend most of your time with so choose well. Maximize every event that you go to by making a wonderful impression on everyone that you meet, because who knows, someday, they might be the person (or they might introduce you to someone) that you need in your space. There’s no room for shyness when growth is at stake.
3.) Be comfortable in saying NO
Saying NO does not make you a bad person. It only shows how you give importance to yourself and your boundaries. By not always being readily available, you teach others to respect your time and space, something which you really deserve to have to begin with. Make your YES just as precious as you are, always.
4.) Be willing to wait
Great things take time. So stop pressuring yourself or rushing to the next opportunity that comes along. Learn to discern what you deserve. Don’t settle for less. You know what’s best for you. And take to heart that what’s meant for you will eventually find its way. You just have to be patient and enjoy the journey as you wait for what your heart truly longs for. Know your value.
5.) Let yourself be heardand recognized
You deserve to be heard and recognized by everyone else around you. Use your voice to influence others. Tap on your skills in writing, speaking or whatever you may be good at and share valuable pieces of insights and information for others to use and reflect on. Make a stand and inspire others to do the same as you use your voice to stir up discussions and mobilize inspired actions. Allow others to see a formidable leader in you.
So there. I hope these help you grow your worth so you will be able to take up more space as you become your own #bestmeever .
Trust me, your entire journey will be all worth it. Just like you.
You see, it’s the society , the people around us and even ourselves to be candid about it, that made us believe that we should always be on the go.
That every single day was all about taking a step forward, no matter how you feel, no matter how you are.
While at a glance, that can be such an empowering statement, let’s do a reality check.
At times, a step forward can actually mean just staying where you are or even taking a step back.
Indeed, pausing can do wonders for you so that you get to see the bigger picture and not be too anxious or worried along the way so you can continue on being your own #bestmeever even during the toughest days.
Allow me to share with you when it’s time to pause:
1.) When you’re tired
You are not a robot. Remember that. You were not born to just work to pay the bills. You do not exist just to be of great help to others. Burn out is real. Don’t even go there. Pause. Take a break. Rest. You need to recharge and recalibrate. You owe that to yourself. You can only do so much. And don’ t ever feel guilty for allowing yourself to stop and smell the flowers.
2.) When you’re feeling lost and confused
In this situation, a step forward may not be such at all, especially if you are coming from an overwhelmed space. Pause. Take a step back. Breathe. Check on the facts. Do some grounding to stabilize your emotions and give your logic some clarity. Important reminder: don’t risk moving forward if you’re not yet 100% committed. It’s either you’re all in, or not at all.
3.) When you’re happy
Savor the feeling. Pause and just express your gratitude. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and lock them in so that you will have something to remind you when days are gloomy. Take time off your routine to thank all those who have contributed to your happiness. That goes a long way and allows you to move forward eventually with a smile in your heart.
4.) When you’re angry
Trust me, you don’t want to regret anything that you’ve said and done coming from a space of anger. Heightened emotions oftentimes make you do things that are not necessarily aligned with your core values which can in turn just worsen the situation you are in. Pause. Take deep breaths. Calm yourself. Detach yourself from the situation. Reflect. And give yourself some time. You don’t need to resolve everything all at once. Come back when you’re ready. The impact will be different then.
5.) When making a big decision
Don’t act based on impulse. A life changing decision, whether it’s all about making a very big purchase, entering a relationship or ending one, or changing careers or moving out, takes time to process. Allow yourself to pause and reflect. You don’t need to rush things. Allow things to take their natural course and just go (and grow) with the flow. Consider all options first, list down the pros and cons, sleep over them and assess yourself when you’re ready to make that big decision for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone pressure you to making a decision you’re not fully sold to.
I hope you remember when to pause this time around.
So if you’re still reading this, take it as your sign.
Remember:
Pausing can be productive. You just have to trust yourself and the process more.
I love celebrations.
And that’s an understatement.
Big or small, I love the energy when people come together and just express their gratitude over milestones and wins.
The energy is so inviting and inspiring whenever I see people smile, laugh and just focus on being present in this happy moment, alongside others who share their joy.
Applies also to people who celebrate on their own by choice. You’re entitled to that to begin with.
Can’t we just be like this every single day? Haha! I wish.
I mean admittedly, life throws us a curve ball, sometimes a dozen even, haha. and these painful experiences despite their lessons, make us forget how beautifully happy life is in general.
Well, today, let me remind me how amazing your life is as you get the chance to enjoy these 5 important life celebrations and the lessons they bring with them. Remember, for as long as you’re alive, you have the opportunity to celebrate these. Don’t stress yourself much if some haven’t happened yet. Just take this time to believe that eventually, everything will fall into place when you’re ready. Trust the timing of your life so that you don’t become anxious about anything unnecessary.
1.) Your birthday
Please, remember this: you are never too old to celebrate your birthday. You deserve to acknowledge your own existence. Each birthday of yours is reminding you of an important lesson: you matter. You were given a chance to live in this world, to take up space and reach up to whatever age you’re meant to. So never let anything or anyone stop you from living a full life. Aging is a beautiful experience. It reminds you of how far you’ve gone.
2.) Your first love
Love is such a wonderful feeling right? And who doesn’t miss that first time that you felt butterflies in your stomach as your heart beat faster at the sight of your first beloved who made you feel like the only person in this world? Even as you age, your first love never dies. And that teaches you a wonderful lesson: to always hold on to hope and love. That no matter what happens, you will always have beautiful memories that will remind you that once in your life, you felt special and that you allowed yourself to listen to your heart and just love. So when the going gets tough, and during days that you feel less attractive or not worthy, remember that once in your life, those thoughts never existed because you chose to see through the eyes of love. And you can do that all over again by choice.
3.) Your first award
Being recognized for what you do (and who you are) can be life changing. So try to remember the first time someone gave you the recognition you deserved, whether it was a simple compliment, a pat on the back, receiving a certificate or trophy and savor that moment. It’s an amazing reminder that you are good enough. You have what it takes to succeed and those wins, big or small, are a testament of your greatness. When in doubt, remember how you rose above all the challenges you had before and came out on top.
4.) Your first job and salary
Everyone must start off somewhere. And no matter what your first job is, it’s actually serves as a beautiful reminder: that being humble and persistent goes a long way. Still remember how much you were celebrating when you got your first salary? What did you do with it? Notice how it seemed like such a big deal before. Today, if you feel that you’re not earning much or you haven’t achieved enough, look back when you were starting your career and realize how much you’ve grown over all in your practice. Should you be unemployed at this time, remember that you only lost a job perhaps, but the skills to land in one, you still have those intact. So don’t fret. You’re just starting all over again.
5.) Your first born
Unconditional love. That perhaps is the best lesson this celebration of new life is teaching us. That special feeling that you’re willing to give your all to this being which was born from love. That’s such a beautiful reminder as you grow in harmony with the members of your family, through good times and bad times. It’s a lasting promise that you should be willing to keep because remember, at the end of the day, your children will be your legacy. Raise them to be amazing ones with your love.
I hope reminiscing these life celebrations made you smile.
You still have a long way to go to enjoy your life journey as much as you can.
After all, you’re on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
And that’s something to celebrate about every single day.
No pain, no gain.
We grew up hearing this, time and again.
And at times, I must admit, I can’t help but agree with this.
While I wouldn’t mind having a smooth sailing life to begin with, I have embraced the fact that life in general has its own twists and turns.
Most of which are beyond our control.
Which actually makes sense to just let things be and embrace the lessons each and every not so good experience that life may bring instead of getting anxious and stressed.
I know. That won’t be a walk in the park.
However, it’s very much possible.
To see the silver lining in every painful experience we have.
And change for the better as we anchor on all the lessons learned.
Allow me to share with you the 5 painful life experiences that will shape you.
1.) A death of a loved one
This one is inevitable. As much as we want to be with people closes to our hearts, we just can’t. Death is something we cannot predict, more so stop permanently. It’s as natural as the sun rising daily, and as day turns to night. While the intensity of the pain may vary due to the cause or timeliness of the death, each death teaches us an important lesson: how to fully let go and be at peace eventually with the decision. It may take time and a whole lot of effort, however, full, genuine acceptance of things, people and situations which are no longer there are crucial for us to move on and forward when life throws a curve ball. It also teaches us the important lessons of valuing relationships and making the most of each and every moment, as we can’t really say when it’s our time to go (or let go of someone). Treat every single day as if it was your last. Very good reminder indeed.
2.) A major break up
Ouch. I feel you. Haha! I know, this can wreck havoc in one’s emotional state especially if you have always believed that you will end up with the person who broke your heart. Well take note of this: it doesn’t mean that if someone broke your heart, you won’t have your happily ever after someday. Because trust me, you will. And that’s the important lesson a break up teaches you: that you have to be patient enough to get what you truly deserve. That you need to love yourself first so that others will love you just as much. And when you’re able and ready, the right one for you will come eventually. You just have to be the love that you want to receive.
3.) A significant failure
I know it can be so frustrating when you work so hard on something and not get the desired results. Whether it’s a wasted opportunity, a competition lost, a business that went bankrupt … they all are teaching us the same thing : that we can always do better. Knowing that there’s room for improvement should inspire us to continue journeying towards our best . Remember, it doesn’t end when you lose ; it only begins when you embrace the new lessons learned and apply them there after.
4.) A betrayal
Experiencing something that’s totally unexpected like a betrayal can hurt big time. More so if it comes from a person that’s close to your heart. One can’t help but feel immense hurt, anger and pain when trust is broken. But trust me, that had to happen in order for you to learn very significant lessons in self-worth and discernment. Betrayals teach you to become more mindful about the relationships you keep and the people you allow in your space. It teaches you about what you deserve and how to value yourself more. And those lessons will go a long way as you meet various people in your life time. It pays to know.
5.) Outgrowing people, things and situations
There will come a time that certain relationships with people, things and circumstances will no longer spark the same joy or ignite further inspiration. That can be such a heart breaking experience to realize that something familiar is slowly fading to oblivion. Whether it’s a childhood friend, a place you grew up with or something you owned, letting go can be so difficult. However, it’s a must because it teaches you that life goes on. Not everyone or everything must play a part in your next chapter. It’s ok if it ends there. It already served its purpose. Be grateful that it happened. Then bravely turn the next page as you welcome new people and experiences in your space. You’ll be fine.
I hope that by reading through these you got to evaluate and appreciate your pains more.
Truth be told, each pain serves a beautiful purpose.
I let my old self die along with all the unnecessary burdens I was carrying with me, thinking that I must endure so that others can enjoy being their journey towards their own #bestmeever more…at my expense sad to say.
As a professional coach, I am used to giving my all, each and every time I engage with my coachees and mentees during our sessions. And as the person that I am, I have always been the type who’s willing to sacrifice when needed just to make my relationships, whether romantic or other wise, work.
While my heart was full during the entire time that I was giving, admittedly, I forgot to allow myself to receive just as much.
Yes, I am only human and sometimes I forget. So there, I hope that I debunked the notion that coaches are invincible.
I don’t want to be invincible. I want to be real that’s why I am sharing this, to show that it’s ok to be your vulnerable self.
To admit that you’re tired. To recognize that you need to do a hard stop. To acknowledge that you need to focus more on yourself. To love yourself more in the process.
To be candid about it, it took quite sometime (and a number of situations) to make me realize that.
You know that saying when God (and the Universe) wants you to learn something, He will give you situations that will make you rethink your decisions, albeit at times really painful and heart breaking, so that you will learn your lessons well.
I think I got that point across. Clearly! Haha!
Prior to me having the much needed hard stop, things seem to be falling apart left and right: relationships not working out, contracts shelved, regular media guestings cancelled or moved — all these things I tried to keep to myself as I processed alone initially. In the process of coping and being optimistic about things thinking that all will come to pass, I saw myself going out more and just enjoying life the best way I know: exploring new food places left and right. Yup, even if I was working out, I was eating much. My thought then: best way to think things over. Haha!
That was one of the biggest lies I told myself and good thing I caught myself immediately.
I remember taking a bath one day right after my heart got broken in a million pieces by someone and decided to take my pic. When I saw my pic, it then hit me: I love my curves and all, but I know I can love myself more.
So this was me. On that fateful day. At 179.3 lbs. Chubuff! hahaha!
And then I remembered: I walk the talk.
This is what I tell my coachees and mentees. To practice what they preach. To be a living example.
So I did.
First thing I did was to give myself a clear goal: to be my #bestmeever self again in the next 100 days.
I had a clear vision of how that will look like: healthier, happier and a whole lot better.
Next, I did a hard stop. I started saying no to engagements that were not life changing for me. I asked permission from my clients that I will need a time off as I heal and recalibrate myself. Same goes with my usual media programs. My honesty paid off: they were all supportive. I felt the love. And I will always be grateful for that. Now that my schedule was a bit free, what do I want to do now?
This was a no brainer.
I went to Boracay, one of my favorite beaches for a week to just reflect and recognize the space that I am in.
It helped a lot. Healing took place the moment I landed there and re-traced my steps, re-lived some experiences and created new memories. So many tears shed, so many emotions felt. All worth it. It was empowering and liberating to slowly let the broken pieces of my old self fall off and reveal my upgraded one underneath. I also enjoyed my long walks from Station 1 to Station 3 every morning and during sunset because I got to burn a lot of calories and practice gratitude for this opportunity to start all over again. Promise, reflecting while walking was very therapeutic.
I also started mindful eating then because wellness and over-all well-being includes not only the mental and emotional state but the physical state as well. Ok, so I started doing intermittent fasting (16-8), no more rice, ate more proteins and veggies. Yes, veggies. For those who know me, they will probably raise eyebrows upon reading this. But hey yes, if there’s one beautiful habit I learned from my previous painful experience is to have a wonderful relationship with vegetables and veggie meat. Haha!
A sample of my usual food from that time on. My goodness, never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself ordering salad, and just salad for lunch. But hey miracles do happen! And after 100 days, I think I am a testament to that. I love veggies now. Legit.
I also started a morning routine to challenge myself and allow myself to have time and space to reflect and process every single day. I started jogging in the morning. Usually at 4:30AM. Rain or shine. Crazy right?
One of my favorite places. But it goes beyond health reasons and burning calories. It was all about practicing my commitment to myself and my own wellness and well-being. While I was not that overweight to begin with, I realized that loving myself more means to also allow myself to take care of my body so I can look and feel my best. Cannot just settle knowing that I can still be better. So glad I committed to that practice. Up to now actually!
By this time you also know that I had my cataract operation recently so that coincided with my time off, and looking at it, it’s actually a blessing in disguise. I was forced to stay at home and recover and recuperate. I knew I had to keep my body healthy so I began a loving relationship with my yoga mat and did stretches regularly to keep my body in tune (and me inspired).
That’s my after stretching glow in my unfiltered picture taken after my routine.
So slowly and surely, I got back into a healthy routine that worked for me, while consciously and intentionally managing my work load better. I started accepting new clients as I found new inspiration in what I do, because this time around, as I coach, I also allowed myself to be coached (thanks Coach, you know who you are!) and be part of the equation (recognizing my own needs and wants as just as important and not just settle for the sake of). I actually found more joys in saying NO’s to the many requests that flood me daily. And even more joy in saying yes to owning my space and sanitizing it fully. In the process, I also found happiness in going back to my aerial silks practice because that sparked joy outside of what I was used to doing. A little excitement goes a long way.
Ok. let me rephrase that as this must be too much of an excitement already for some. Haha!
All through out my journey, I also became more mindful about doing the things that make my heart smile. So I did put up my Christmas tree early and bought a number of statement shirts that resonated with me.
Don’t you just think my personal holiday looked good on me?
I shed more and more weight as the days go by and together with the excess pounds were the excess baggage and stress I unknowingly carried.
The more weight I lost, the more I found myself.
It wasn’t just my weight that was holding me down; it was my decision then to give others all the love and affection I could. Something which now I realized I deserved myself. I just forgot because I was too busy with work and working things out.
And now, I am so glad I did realize everything just in time.
Because who I saw as my wellness journey unfolded was my real self: a person who was genuinely happy, complete and fulfilled.
Ready to face the world again.
And the world couldn’t agree more.
I am grateful for the warm welcome everyone gave me and everything just seems to be falling back into place.
I went back to the radio station to do live broadcast after 2.5 years of doing remote ones. I love it’s new look! Not to mention I have a new regular stint in another station for the coming month and other media-related interviews ahead. I’m back!
I also started giving face to face workshops again and reviving all the pending speaking, coaching and facilitating engagements I had with brands and companies. The energy of the participants from CDO filled my love tank to the brim. Thank you for the trust and love. See you again soon!
I told you the Universe has a funny way of reminding you that you’re on the right track. In my case, my interview with global thought leadership magazine, Authority Magazine , just came out. The topic: Total Health. Uhm, relate much! But again, I am super grateful for this opportunity to inspire worldwide.
This recent win before I finished my 100 days as one of the Top Celebrity Life Coaches globally was really life changing and timely for me. It was a beautiful reminder of why I chose to be in this industry and that being able to change lives globally is a privilege I hold close to my heart. Thank you for believing in me and in what I do best.
And of course, since I weigh myself daily, I’d like to share how much I weigh. From 81.5 kgs (179.3 lbs) when I started, to …
Yes, taken this morning. 74.70 kgs. (164.34 lbs). That’s 14.96 lbs lost in 100 days. Yaaaasssss!
You may ask how I look like now?
Wish granted.
After work out. No edits.
Heartbreaks really do look good on me, don’t you agree?
I am now ready for more mature roles, Direk. hahahaha!
But seriously, looking good makes one feel good right? That’s my space now. After seeing I can actually fit into my 2018 clothes (I was 158 lbs at my leanest, but changed my body goals now because I want to beef up instead of being twinkish, if you know what I mean. haha!)
Can I just say?
I am just so proud of myself.
Great job, Self!
The entire journey wasn’t easy. But all worth it.
I hope this blog post of mine inspires you guys to just keep going. Keep growing.
Let your heartbreaks lead you to your breakthroughs.
Let your 100 days start now.
For me, my next 100 days continue. On to more healthy living, greater goals, more meaningful relationships, continuous healing, recalibrating and growing.
If you want to go on your own wellness and wellbeing journey towards your own #bestmeever , message me when you’re ready to invest on your self, your happiness and your growth. Let’s work together.
“I’m lost.”
Perhaps one of the most dreaded things to say in this lifetime.
And I can’t blame you at all.
In fact I feel you.
Quite inevitably, once in a while, we experience bumps along the way as we course through life.
And these bumps can be quite terrifying at times, especially if they cause us so much stress and anxiety because suddenly we lose control of our journey.
This leads us to struggle even more, doing all that we can as we continuously resist the situation on hand.
However, more often than not, instead of resolving it, we find ourselves facing a dead end.
Yes, sadly we made everything worse by choice.
You see feeling overwhelmed can wreck havoc in one’s decision making skills as one becomes engulfed in negative emotions.
That’s when we find ourselves feeling lost and confused. Unhappy. Frustrated. And very much stuck in the space we wanted to get away from to begin with.
This actually applies to different aspects of one’s life: whether you feel you’ve hit a dead end in your career, find yourself wondering if you made the right decision in pursuing your passion, settling in a relationship that does not seem to help you grow — these are some of the things that you may have encountered along the way and one way or another, you felt so uncertain on how to go about everything next.
Well, don’t fret. Allow me to share with you the 5 things you can do when you’re feeling lost and confused:
1.) Pause
Yep. Stop. For a while. It’s ok. You don’t have to do anything. Contrary to popular belief, even as you pause, you’re actually growing. Because pausing allows you to ground yourself and think. It allows you to see what you need to see, oftentimes set aside as you focus too much on the stress and burden the challenge in front of you brings. Remember, things can only get worse if you act based on impulse so never let your negative, heightened emotions get in your way.
2.) Do a mental dump
Note: you feel lost and confused at times because there are so many things on your mind as of the moment. Unburden yourself by listing them all down. Take 15 minutes of your time and just let your thoughts flow. Don’t edit yet. What is important is that you get to see everything that’s actually taking space in your head. Because eventually, you will realize that not everything there deserves that much attention.
3.) Identify your priorities
Looking at your list, ask yourself this: what do I need to focus on now that will be life changing for me? Group the items you’ve listed down: what you can do away with, what can wait and what needs to be focused on now. Note: not everything has to happen at the same time. Limit your choices to 3 and then rank them accordingly. My take: choose what will bring in the most happiness to you. That has always worked for me.
4.) Focus on what you can control
I have always been an advocate of over all wellness and well being and that means doing away with anything (or anyone) that stresses you unnecessarily. Check on the things you have control or influence on. Then ask yourself this: what can I immediately do to maximize my control or influence over this matter? By strategically narrowing down your focus, you are able to unburden yourself with the unwanted pressure of making things happen all at once.
5.) Let things be
Feeling lost and confused can be such a humbling yet empowering experience as you discover more about yourself. It’s part of your #bestmeever journey actually. So for as long as you’ve already done what you could with all that you have, based on your priorities and the things you can control — that’s more than enough. Give yourself a pat on the back and wait for things to unfold beautifully. Trust yourself and the process. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be: a temporary pitstop.
There you have it guys. The next time you feel lost and confused, stop resisting it.
Instead, embrace it and grow from the experience.
Because by choice, you can.
And until you’re feeling sure again, don’t decide on anything just yet.
“We can’t do the Lasik procedure on your eyes. You have cataract in each.”
My mouth wide open, my heart fell down the floor.
It can’t be.
Yep, that was my very response when the doctor first told me that I had cataracts in my eyes.
Of course I was in extreme disbelief because 1.) I wasn’t that old yet (young at 41) and 2.) that means I have to be operated on, much like how my mom and favorite aunt had theirs removed last year. And 3.) that means that I will have to put my life on hold for quite sometime in order for me to heal.
Come to think of it: that was actually my fear: to “stop living”. For the longest time, I have gotten used to my work routine and it just feels weird and scary for me to just be at home, doing nothing. While I have always been an advocate of over-all wellness, self-care and self-love, I must admit though that hard stops are sometimes difficult for me because I know that a lot of people depend on me to help them in their own personal journeys in discovering their own #bestmeever .
But hey, I can choose to resist or just accept my situation whole heartedly and happily while looking for that seemingly elusive silverlining at present. I chose to go hunting for the good stuff. Haha!
So immediately after returning from my birthday trip in Singapore, I had my blood work done, got my doctor’s clearance and then scheduled my operation. Mind you though: everything happened within a week’s time after returning. Yep that fast. So on my end, I also had to fix my schedule, do a general cleaning of my space so that everything will be disinfected and talk to my clients and tell them that I will be gone for a whole two weeks. I also had to rush the templates for my morning postings in my coaching community on Facebook so that people can still continue reflecting daily even in my absence.
After setting everything up and making sure that I have covered all bases, I was finally ready to undergo my surgery.
“I am quite surprised that you are still able to function with your eyes, given this.”
And then the doctor showed me how big my cataract was.
See that gray part blocking the entire eye? That’s the culprit. I know! I got scared too upon seeing it.
A part of me felt relieved that it was detected because for more than a decade, I have been using driving glasses and contact lenses whenever I go on-air or deliver live talks. It never struck me that I had something like that until recently when my night vision deteriorated fully and I can’t even drive and focus well when the sun is up. Everything was blurry and grayish…uhm, and now I know why,
The promise of being able to see clearly minus the glasses made me excitedly put on my hospital gown. I would have wanted a better fit, but who am I to complain?
This is how I would look if I get pregnant. Lol.
Upon entering the operating, I remember praying to God to at least allow me to surrender to the entire process and just trust everything. Believe me, when you’re going under the knife and it involves your eyes and you are not sedated, it’s not really a walk in the park experience seeing what gets to poke your eyes. Haha!
The operation was a success, albeit some of the moments the doctor had to stop because I was tensing up. Apparently, I was as calm as can be when my left eye was operated on first and then the week after, I had my right eye done. And that became a different story. Thank God for Dr. Gerard Bordador of Veterans Eye Center for being so patient, careful and understanding of his wriggly patient who gets startled whenever something is poked in his eyes. Haha!
Mind you though, it was just the beginning. The real work comes in when I have to apply eye drops hourly and take my antibiotics daily. These also coincide with the fact that: 1.) I couldn’t wash my face for two weeks to avoid soap getting in my eyes 2.) I can’t lift heavy objects, more so work out as intensely as I used to for a month 3.) Can’t bend down, moreso do inversions so I have to say good bye temporarily to my aerial silks practice 4.) Can’t drive or spend long hours straining my eyes online until it heals 5.) I have to wear my transition glasses for a month or so to ensure my eyes are protected, indoor and outdoor.
The last one was a relief because I didn’t like the way the goggles looked on me. Lol.
My constant, up to now as I blog.
Anyway, the million dollar question is: does it hurt?
Answer: during the operation, it was a bit uncomfortable but didn’t sting really. I mean, I doubt it if anyone enjoys getting his eyes poked while staring at a kaleidoscope of lights haha. Afterwards, that’s when eye drops hurt at times (remember there’s a wound in the eyes and it’s still not fully healed), which led me to shed tears and hop a round a bit. Haha! I also got a head ache after my right eye got operated on but it was easily gone after I took paracetamol. The other discomforts to which I am still gradually adjusting to now is being able to read text upclose as some letters seemed garbled at times but I was told that it will eventually be ok, of which I truly believe because I myself have less typo errors now, unlike during the first few days, that’s why I decided to blog only now before starting on my regular coaching sessions.
My views and my life definitely changed.
For the better.
Come to think of it, I realized I really needed this mandatory time of. Unknown to many, I recently experienced a heart break that left me feeling a bit lost, confused, and in pain. That’s a different story though. I was quietly navigating through my emotions then with the help of my own coach and my loving, selected few who were my support system. The hard stop allowed me to process everything better and treat myself kinder, because apparently, for quite sometime, I wasn’t really giving myself the kind of love I willingly give others. I just forgot and this pause made me remember.
The change in my daily routine really helped. While I struggled at first to contain all my unused energy, I found a blissful experience in just letting things be, journaling and reflecting about what I can do differently in my life. I took the opportunity to see things differently and clearly this time around, inspired by my cataract operation. I began assessing my space, my relationships and myself, as honestly and as vulnerable as possible. And that allowed me to grow with the flow in my current space where fear of not being in control no longer existed.
Here’s a glimpse of what I was doing in the last two weeks:
I started doing short morning walks. Here’s me doing one at 6am around the amenities area of my condo. Started with 10 minuter walks, gradually increasing to an hour as days go by, while being mindful of not letting my sweat get in my eyes. Or else. Running can wait.
I have recently discovered the joys in doing stretching in the morning. As I can only do light exercise and I am not allowed to bend over or invert, this routine helped me loosen my tight muscles and prevents me from having a sedentary lifestyle while stuck at home. My yoga mat has become one of my best friends.
I’ve said it before and will say it again: Netflix is one of the greatest inventions of the century. I can’t imagine surviving the last two weeks without it. I got to watch a lot of documentaries and reality tv series this time around and learned a thing or two that would like to include in my own bucketlist. Soon.
I got myself new transition glasses, without any grades for my eyes! My first time in over 10 years to own a pair of shades! can’t wait to head to the beach soon. But for now, I use it when I go online or when I have to do my grocery. And I can see 10x better or even more actually compared to before, minus the thick graded lenses! Wohoo!
Brave as I am, I started going out (to the mall) to do errands by myself and burn calories while doing so (indoor walks where there is less pollution and exposure to unwanted elements). Trivia: Gosh, I was like a kid gushing at how bright the mall lights were and how I can now read signages from afar. Never seen everything in full color until now. Simple joys but my heart overflowed after seeing so much gray before.
While it was tempting to just eat every now and then with the free time I have onhand, I chose to still be mindful of my diet. I stuck with my intermittent fasting, ate more veggies (something I learned from a previous relationship that allowed me to love myself more) and committed to my daily cardio routine. And lo and behold, I managed to shed off more pounds in the process, to date, after almost three months, 14 lbs to be exact. My target is to lose perhaps another 5 more lbs and I will have my 2018 body then where I was at my fittest. Pushing forward! Grateful that heart breaks have beautifying effects on me. Haha!
The time off allowed me to reconnect with my roots as well. After 10 years, went back to visit my province in Pampanga. Everyone there was caught by surprise and some even cried. It was a heart warming experience to see my relatives whom I haven’t seen for the longest time. Time heals all wounds indeed. And this season in my life allowed me to experience just that. This one’s for the books.
And of course, God wanted to cheer me up and sent me good news. So I got nominated in the 2022 Coach Awards for Best Executive Coach and Best Wellness Coach . Two categories. Alongside coaching industry leaders and game changers from all over the world. My heart jumped for joy, especially upon seeing people vote for me and campaign for me openly. Win or lose, I am grateful for this opportunity to be recognized for what I love doing best. Please do click on the highlighted links to vote please. Love you!
Lastly, I finally got to hang out with dear friends. Gosh, how much I missed human interaction with people who truly get me and vise versa! This lunch was fun and life changing in its own way as always. They said I was rocking my glasses. And that my new body was banging. Thank you for the vote of confidence my friends. I gratefully receive your compliments.
Went to my check up the other day and this is how my eye looks like. All clear now. Healing beautifully.
Exactly how I feel within.
Healing happily. Completely.
My cataract operation allowed me to see things clearly and feel deeply.
And today, I start my next chapter, #unicorning all over .
Thank you for joining me.
Sigh.
That’s perhaps the only thing we can do whenever things don’t go as planned.
I mean, I know one way or another you can relate to any or all of these:
….ever set a goal worked so hard on it, which led you to be just one step away from achieving it e.g. a promotion at work, a financial target, winning a competition etc,…but then suddenly the biggest plot twist occurs and your journey suddenly gets cut short?
….did you ever find yourself in a near-perfect relationship with your seemingly ideal guy and then without warning you find your fairy tale love story ending abruptly?
…planned your dream vacation and then suddenly it got cancelled because of unforeseen events beyond your control?
I can actually go on and on with this list but heym you already know what I am talking about.
Yup, it’s a fact: things don’t always work out the way we want them to.
Reason being is that we focus too much on what went wrong instead of seeing the beautiful silverlinings behind seemingly tragic ends.
Allow me to share with you the 5 reasons why things don’t work out initially.
1.) You are being saved from greater pain or danger
Yes. God (or the Universe) might have just saved your ass from something more severe hidden under your story’s plot. Ever heard of the people who got stuck in traffic on their way to work at the World Trade Center during the 9/11 bombing? Or the guy who missed the fatal flight to Kenya? Yep, you probably know a lot of those kind of stories. And yes, they’re real.
2.) You are given the chance to improve yourself even more
Not yet does not mean never. So how amazing is it to know that there’s still room for improvement and you’re given yet another chance to maximize it? It’s no secret that Pia Wurtzbach joined the National Pageant thrice, each time becoming better, before she won and got to represent the country in the 2015 Miss Universe, where she bagged the crown. What if you’re a Pia in the making? I know that made you smile. Allow.
3.) It’s allowing you to focus on yourself and recalibrate
Have you been so gung-ho when it comes to chasing your goals? Feeling tired, pressured and burned out? Things not working out in your favor allow you to step back, pause and re assess the space you’re in as you take that much needed break from it all. That’s actually the healthy (and humbling ) way to go about things: allow yourself to rest as you let the dust settle so you can clearly define what’s next for you. Yup, there’s life after chaos of whatever kind. You’ll survive and thrive.
4.) You learn important lessons you need
Good or bad, experiences help you grow by allowing you to learn important lessons you need in life. Ask yourself this each time things don’t go as planned: what is this situation teaching me? How can I apply the learning to my current space? You will be surprised on how smooth your life can be there after only if you take the lessons to heart.
5.) You deserve something (or someone) better
God knows better. Period. Someday you will meet that one person who will make you realize why you had to undergo so many heart aches and why all was worth it. Someday, you will look back and smile about lost opportunities and relationships that led you exactly to where you’re meant to be: happier and free. You just have to trust the process, do all that you can with all that you have, and know and believe that the best is yet to come. Soon!
So guys, if times are rough now, remember this:
Tough times are temporary.
All will be well eventually.
You just have to look beyond the challenging situations and realize that all will work out eventually.
Your journey is just beginning.
Now take a deep breath.
Because life goes on.
So can you.
Happy 41st birthday, Self!
Yes, I am now officially 41.
And come to think of it, it’s such a beautiful experience to be able to reach this age. I mean growing up, I never had an idea how it would look and feel like. But hey, here I am now, blowing my candle and adding yet another year to my life.
While others become worried as they age, I am actually having a grand time embracing the person that I am becoming: my own #bestmeever . Yes, I truly believe that the best is yet to come.
Thinking about it now, it was definitely a one-of-a-kind roller coaster ride towards becoming the person I am meant to be. I lost count of the number of ups and downs, the twists and turns and everything that happened in between. But hey, I am genuinely grateful for all of them because they all happened for a reason, and the core being is that all those were essential to my learning and growth.
Coming from honesty and humility, I am just so happy that at this point in time, I no longer feel anxious about what the future may bring. There’s freedom in trusting myself and the process as I let myself (and things) be.
I have to say, experience indeed is the best teacher. I wouldn’t be a credible coach now if I haven’t experienced all those in the past 41 years. And today, I would like to share with you the 41 life lessons I learned which molded me into the person that I am now.
Indulge!
You can always love yourself more by choice, and it’s ok.
Whatever you tolerate will eventually take its toll on you. So don’t if it doesn’t sit well with you.
Never keep things to yourself. Speak up. Your personal freedom is more important than the reactions of others.
You don’t have much time but you can always choose to make the most of what you have.
To be different is a gift. Cherish it. Own it.
You can be successful and unhappy or struggling yet happy. You have the choice to turn both around.
What you truly deserve will always be better than what you initially wanted. Trust in God’s plan.
Every pain has a purpose. You just have to stop resisting and start seeing things beyond the hardships,
Your willingness to invest on yourself is commensurate to your willingness to grow. It’s a question of how much are you worth it?
You don’t ever need to justify the wring doings of others. Allow yourself to feel hurt and acknowledge that space. You don;t have to deny that because you want to save a relationship.
You can be independent, empowered and genuinely happy if you allow yourself to live outside of social and personal expectations.
Don’t minimize your goals based on your experience. Create goals based on what you really want and get enough experience and enlightenment to work on them no matter how big they may seem at first.
There’s more to life than just working to pay the bills.
A seemingly bad ending can actually be a prelude to a beautiful beginning.
If you’re not happy, then that’s not how the story ends yet.
Learn to normalize calling people as colleagues, acquaintances or whatever fits them if they’re not really your friends.
Your happily ever after is not based on a certain age, achievement or person. It’s based on what you truly feel within regardless of what you have or don’t have.
Commitment requires 100%. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
Love comes unexpectedly. It pays off to always be ready.
There is much value in pausing, stopping and starting all over again. They shouldn’t be perceived as negative delays.
You are worth every risk you are willing to take.
For as long as you’re happy and healthy, you can become wealthy.
Feeling stuck at times can actually be a matter of choice.
Your credibility and integrity are priceless. So don’t act cheap.
Don;t sweat about things that won’t matter in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months or 5 years.
It’s ok to love people from afar.
Love is brave and proud. If it’s not, then that’s not love.
There’s no limit as to how many times you want to start all over again and reinvent yourself, for as long as you are clear with your goals and objectives.
You can’t be everything that the world expects you to be but you can always be your best and that’s more than enough.
Don’t let anyone or anything question your genuine happiness. You know better.
Struggling at times makes the whole journey even more rewarding.
Don’t let the people who have hurt you turn you into a person that you are not.
You are whole as is. Everyone who comes into your life is just a bonus.
Acknowledging your feelings and being truly honest with yourself are superpowers.
Everyone needs a coach. But there is a specific coach for someone.
It’s ok to cut ties. You don’t have to stay for the sake of old times, because if things were still the same, then cutting them off wouldn’t be an option in the first place. People change. Feelings too. So can you.
You don’t ever have to pressure yourself to conform just to be liked. You can be a disruptor and be loved.
Taking care of yourself, your looks, your mental health and well-being is never optional or dependent on anything or anyone else.
It’s ok to try and fail than to have a bunch of what if’s and what could have been’s.
You can never be really ready but you can always choose to be brave enough now to at least try.
Life goes on. It always does. So can you.
So there you go! I hope these life lessons resonate with you.
I look forward to learning more this year.
Thank you for celebrating my 41st birthday with me.
