It’s unfortunate at times that we lose people along the way as we journey through life.
Whether we like it or not, certain circumstances prevent us from keeping everyone onboard all through out.
Yep, not everyone can be part of your #bestmeever journey till the end.
And that’s perfectly ok. Know that no matter how short a person’s role in your life may be, he/she has taught you the lessons you needed to know at that point in time.
However, included in the lessons you have to learn as you go through life is the willingness to fight for relationships worth saving.
Now, I want you to take this time and reflect: is there any relationship you wish to save, one that may have been affected before when life was tougher than usual?
A former flame with an unfinished business?
A family member you have strained your ties with?
An old friend you have hurt unintentionally?
And the list goes on.
Well, here’s the thing: sometimes we do things (and say things as well) which we don’t mean just because we are caught in the moment.
However, let it be known that it’s not exactly a free pass so to speak.
While we cannot undo the past, it is important to know that we still have the present moment to work with and allow ourselves to start all over again as we try to win back the people closest to our hearts.
Yup, it’s not yet the ending if it isn’t a happy one. Preach. Haha!
So yeah, you can still win them over. Or at least try.
Remember: if a relationship of whatever kind is worth saving. Go for it. You have nothing else to lose. You only have this lifetime to be happy so might as well do what you must for at the end of the day, at least you tried.
Nope. Not text. Not call. Not email. Not snail mail. Not through a friend or family member. Apologize face to face to the person you have severed ties with and show how genuinely you mean it. You don’t need to put on a show or make it grand; you just have to speak from the heart and really mean what you say. Don’t hide behind the digital space or any other person; be accountable for yourself and your actions and own the apology you are expressing.
2. Respect people’s reactions
While your intentions may be good, you can’t really expect everyone to take it the way you want them to. We all have different responses towards pain and it’s important to respect that and realize that this time around, the ball isn’t exactly on your court. You can’t (and should not) force things, relationships included. What is important here is you expressed your genuine apology and you allow yourself to listen to what the hurting party has to say and just let things be there after, coming from a space of humility and understanding.
3. Initiate the necessary changes
If you want to show your sincerity, don’t wait for the other person to tell you what needs to be done. What is key here is to reflect on what you fought about initially and what could be done differently moving forward. To win back another person, you must be willing to adjust accordingly based on your agreements or if none yet, based on what you think will be best for the relationship while taking into consideration what the other party is complaining about initially. Being pro-active can earn you extra brownie points along the way so whether or not you win the other person back, at least you have shown how much you value the relationship by embracing the changes needed.
4. Seek help from common friends/family you both trust
Bridging the gap. Pun intended haha! Kidding aside, people will respond more positively towards people they trust so if you have common friends or family members they adore fully, seek their help. Show them how much you mean your apology and ask them to help you win back the other person. Ask for tips they may have and work up a plan with them. Be humble enough to listen and accept their initial reaction though, most specially if they become over protective about the other person at first, which is quite normal. Know that eventually knowing that someone else has your back can relieve you of the unnecessary anxiety the waiting game can bring.
5. Be grateful for the impact of the other person on your own growth
I am beyond sure that once you implement the necessary improvements on your life in response to the need to make up for what you’ve done before that left people hurting, others will take notice. Never forget to be vocal and honest about thanking the other party because at the end of the day, whatever beautiful changes you have now in your space is because of the experience you initially had. This also allows the other person feel valued as he/she becomes instrumental to your own growth, and that of your relationship. Appreciation, of whatever form, can go a long way, most especially when it comes to saving relationships and winning people back.
I hope reading this inspires you to take action and win back the relationships you desire.
At the end of the day, nothing is impossible if you’re committed to making things right .
You can win this.
It takes two to tango. It has to be give and take. Always.
Heard those time and again when it comes to relationships.
And I truly agree.
I mean I have always been an advocate of healthy relationships that are grounded on love, trust and respect.
Those are vital ingredients that help every person involved in a relationship grow in harmony with each other and as individuals as well.
I also believe that we should always be intentional in the relationships we keep.
On that note, I want you to take this time to reflect first on the relationships you keep.
What is the value of that relationship?
How is it helping you grow into the person that you’re meant to be?
Are you inspired by it genuinely?
These are some of the questions we tend to overlook because we take for granted the relationships we have.
Or the other way around actually.
Either way, that won’t do any good in the long run.
No one wants to be in a one-sided relationship.
After all, we all deserve to be loved, seen, heard, felt and celebrated by the people we choose to share spaces with.
Now, I totally feel that some of you may be triggered already because you feel that you’re not exactly getting what is due from the relationships you keep.
Know that with that awareness about where you stand in your relationship, you are now beginning to acknowledge your value as a person and you can initiate the changes you want moving forward as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
A lot of relationships falter because the lines of communication are not open. At the beginning of every relationship (and even as it progresses), always remember to have that benchmarking conversation about where you are at present and where you want to go eventually. Indicate your needs and wants and try to come up with a compromise so that (all) parties will be fully aware of their responsibilities. This presents something to look back to when things seem to be somewhat unfair or agreements have been overlooked. At the end of the day, you cannot resolve what you don’t know so it’s very important to lay down all your cards accordingly.
2. Speak up as it happens
Never keep your feelings to yourself. Its much healthier if you voice them out coming from a space of self-worth and respect. Don’t hold back because tolerating the actions of the other party might come out as something that’s acceptable for them. Remember, the end goal is to make the relationship work by addressing concerns accordingly without formulating false narratives based on mere assumptions as you hold on to them. It’s not about how the other party will react; it’s about you acknowledging the feeling of being taken for granted, whether intentionally or otherwise.
3. Set and maintain boundaries
Some people will always try to assert themselves just to get what they want. Hold your ground. Emphasize that a NO is a NO. Not a conditional one. Not something that can be set aside. Establish your own rules which you feel will be beneficial for your own wellness and wellbeing. And that’s totally ok. You are still entitled to your own space even with the numerous relationships you keep. Never lose yourself in the process of just wanting to keep them.
4. Do self check-ins
You are just as important as the people you’re in a relationship with, whether it’s a family member, a friend, workmate or significant other. It’s best if you always take time to inquire within and ask yourself how you’re really feeling as of the moment, based on how others are treating you. Are you genuinely happy in the relationship? Do you feel valued? Or is there something missing that you must acknowledge and address accordingly? Don’t be afraid to face the truth because that’s the only way you can work on yourself and your relationships.
5. Assess the growth of your relationship then act on it
Reverting back to value, assess how far you’ve grown as individuals and how much your relationship has improved through time. Determine the roles and contributions of all the people involved in the relationship and do a check and balance if everyone is giving what is due accordingly to the welfare of the relationship. If you feel that you’re not growing in your relationship or if it’s only the other party that’s benefitting, assess what’s holding you back and what needs to change accordingly in the relationship for you to be able to maximize your own potential and achieve your own growth. On the other hand, evaluate how your relationship has changed for the better through the years. Are you guys still on track based on your goals set initially? What is the current state of the relationship? Communicate all these to the people involved so that you can address all accordingly moving forward. In the end, if it’s no longer working for you, do what you think will be best, coming from a space of giving yourself what you truly want and deserve, because yes, you have that choice.
Always remember that you, much like everyone else, deserves to be treated and valued the way you want to.
Never let anyone make you feel otherwise.
If they do take you for granted, feel free to grant them what they deserve:
your absence.
Because life is too short to stay in a one-sided relationship to begin with.
You are exactly where you’re meant to be.
So true.
However, let’s all be mindful enough that not all spaces are as comfortable as the other.
Life is that unpredictable after all.
Given that, you don’t really have to over react when you find yourself in a space that initially may seem not of your liking.
You only have to pause for a while and analyze why you’re in that current space to begin with.
Because with better understanding, you get rid of unnecessary anxiety and worries that might cloud your judgment.
Here are 5 reasons why you’re in your current space to help you embrace it fully.
Your life is the sum total of the choices you make every single day, whether on your own or influenced by others. However, know that the key to enjoy the now is to take responsibility for your choices, good or bad, instead of resisting them while running away in the process. You can never undo them that way to begin with.
2. You have to let go of something
Feeling stuck is quite common for people who refuse to acknowledge the need to let go of something from their past. Remember, anything that doesn’t sit well with you and you hold on to it dearly will only weigh you down in the long run. So take this time to ask yourself this important question: what must I let go of? How can I make it easier for me to do so? Start from there.
3. You have a lesson to learn
Notice a pattern in your life? Whether it’s all about being betrayed, or having huge debts or whatsoever, know that these will keep on repeating themselves until you finally acknowledge them and deal with them. So if you find yourself in the same space again, it’s telling you to learn from your previous experiences.
4. It’s a preparation for something better
I always tell myself this whenever I find myself in an uncomfortable situation. Purging, I tell myself. Growth is somewhat painful and messy to begin with so your current space if it’s less than ideal, is telling you that rooms for improvement are there, making you realize what you deserve while preparing you for greater days ahead, should you mindfully choose to push thru. Endure now, enjoy after. Haha!
5. It’s divinely orchestrated
Trust the process. At times when life is challenging and things are beyond your control, know that there is a greater purpose based on the divine plans of the person up there (whatever you believe in). You just have to go and grow with the flow, no matter where that takes you. Your current space is a launch pad, not a dead end. Remember that always.
I hope these reasons help you be more at ease with your current space.
Know that wherever you are right now, whatever you’re going through, it’s ok.
You’re still on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
You can design (and re-design) your own life time and again.
And that’s a fact.
You have the power to make things happen, to work on things under your control and let go of all those beyond it.
You can always reach out for help and choose to start all over again, regardless of what happened to you before or whatever it is that you’re experiencing now.
What I am basically saying is that life doesn’t end when things don’t work out and one door closes.
You can wait for another door to open….or even create your own opportunities along the way.
Your goal must be crystal clear so that you would know what exactly do you need to achieve it. And that means being truly honest with yourself about how you truly feel about something that you aspire for. Recognize and understand your core values fully. If you’re not 100% in, then it’s not worth pursuing. You will only be limiting yourself to half-baked opportunities because your results are not anchored on genuine, full interest.
2. Do a self-inventory
You have all the things within you to create those beautiful opportunities you want. Take time to assess your current space: what can you utilize as of the moment? What skills haven’t you maximized yet? Is there anything you’ve done (or have) before that you can revisit? What new habits and mindset must you have to jumpstart your new mission? By reflecting on these questions you get to make the most of your most important arm in battle: yourself.
3. Put yourself out there
Doors of opportunities won’t open if the person behind those doors don’t know you at all. Be brave enough to show the rest of the world who you are. what you’re good at and continue giving value to others so that word-of-mouth marketing can work for you. Make your social media properties a little more attractive by consistently posting relatable, value-filled content that can pique the interest of your audience. Go the extra mile and do the same on-ground as you meet random people along the way as you take networking opportunities more seriously because who knows, the next person you meet might be holding the key to the new door you’re looking at.
4. Be in-tune with your surroundings and situations
Being 100% present allows you to get a feel of what your current space needs. Be mindful enough to recognize the gaps in the market where you can provide solutions and add value. The recent pandemic is a very good example of how I myself had to pivot from doing a lot of face to face coaching sessions to going digital with my programs, which eventually opened more doors for me internationally. Creating opportunities mean that you must be willing to adjust and adapt accordingly to the situation on hand as you continue to make yourself (and what you do best) timely and relevant in the eyes of others.
5. Intentionally seek for support
Ask and you shall receive. Never underestimate the power of humility. Seek help from people who are aligned with your vision. Never be afraid of rejection. After all, you’ll never know unless you try and rejection is only a form of re-direction. Who knows, that can even open a different opportunity for you so don’t fret. Just go for it.
I hope these help you create more new opportunities for yourself soon as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
Remember, opportunities will always be there.
You just have to look within first to create them.
The more, the merrier, as they say.
I say: True for some, but not for all.
You see at times, less can be more and having enough is a blessing by itself.
The things we normally forget because we keep on comparing ourselves to others, trying to live up to society’s expectations and wanting to look good in the eyes of many. Definitely not the way to be happier, if that’s your goal.
Don’t get me wrong: wanting more in life is normal. Who doesn’t want an upgrade? However, it doesn’t mean that you should be miserable in your current space with what you have. Remember, you can still enjoy the present without stressing yourself much about what can still be in the future.
That is what being content with what you have now means. Being present and grateful as you live and flourish by choice in the now.
1, Create a list of the things that you initially wished for that you have now
We are so blessed in so many ways than one. Sadly at times, we forget that because we set our eyes somewhere else. Take this time to inquire within and reflect on how much you have and what you’ve achieved since you started wishing for the things and results you wanted in your life. Trust me, when you count your blessings, you will never feel that something is lacking.
2. Focus on your own growth and journey
Eyes on the prize. And that means staying committed and loyal to your own #bestmeever . Stop peeking into the lives of others. Or if you do, turn them as inspirations to do better. and not be bitter about your current space Never forget to acknowledge your own growth because it’s different from everyone else. So no sense of comparing.
3. Validate yourself in your current space and capacity
You’ve made it this far and you deserve a pat on the back. While things may not be perfect at present, recognize the things that have gone well and how much you learned in the process from both good and bad experiences. Being kinder to yourself inspires you more to go further, so gift yourself with the praises and loving words you long to hear from others.
4. Invest on yourself
You want to grow more? Invest on yourself and be genuinely excited with your own growth. You see, complaining about what you don’t have at present won’t get you closer to your goals. Working on yourself and focusing on your own growth, will. Take that class. Train at the gym. Get a coach. Do whatever it takes to make you love and appreciate yourself more.
5. Intentionally seek for silverlinings
Your current space, with what you have and don’t have, is teaching you valuable lessons you will need in your upcoming journey. Look beyond what seems less than perfect and see what you can learn along the way. Remember, at times, the best lessons come from the most painful experiences. And that includes that feeling of having less than enough. The bigger question is: what can be good about it? Inquire within.
I hope that after reading through this you get to have new appreciation for your current space as you become content with what you have now.
Know that contentment was never about having more.
It’s about being open and grateful for what you already have, or less there of.
Because regardless of all those, life goes on.
Life is not perfect.
And that’s a fact.
We can only make the most of it by embracing each and every moment for what it is and what it brings.
And that includes the twist and turns, the usual curve balls and humps along the way.
Remember, no one can ever control or predict life in general. So don’t stress yourself trying to make things go your way always.
Because yes, that’s not exactly 100% possible.
However, it’s not easy admittedly to take that to heart always.
Most of the time, our own expectations (alongside those of others) get in the way.
Which eventually make us hate ourselves unnecessarily as we try so hard to figure things out by ourselves, in our terms.
We begin to question everything and everyone, including ourselves about the reasons why things are happening as they are.
Yep, change is inevitable. And usually, things get so chaotic before everything falls into place. Moving on or levelling up was never an easy task and the uncomfortable situation that you’re in right now is actually telling you that you’re embarking on either journey mentioned earlier.
2. You’re not yet ready
Greatness takes time. So allow yourself to fail forward. To commit mistakes. To experience hardships. Not getting what you want initially, whether it’s your dream job, a relationship you want or the recognition you aspire — is actually telling you to keep going as you keep growing. Try harder. Do better. Make room for improvements. Trust me, someday, your preparations will pay off.
3. You need to learn an important lesson
Any experience, good or bad, teaches us an important lesson we can use as we move forward in life. You are given challenging situations you can learn from so you can journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever . Please take note that if you’re experiencing the same stressful event over and over again and you noticed that it’s actually becoming harder and harder in the process, treat it as God’s (or the Universe’s) way of knocking some sense (and a whole lot of learning) into you.
4. You’re being protected
This is perhaps the trickiest one to spot. But it’s a real silver lining, if I may say. Life has its own way of saving you from toxic relationships, wrong decisions or merely settling. You just have to trust the process. Breaking up and letting go may be painful at first but what if staying was far worse? Think about that.
5. Better things are coming
Things have to fall apart to make room for better ones to come into place. Trust the process. Your space now might suck big time but know that it’s only temporary. Keep the faith. Keep moving forward. Better days ahead. Hang on.
I hope this list allows you to reframe your thoughts when things are not working out.
after all, they might actually be working right for you.
Finally.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
I can’t agree more.
If you’re like me, you probably love Christmas just as much.
For some reasons, I feel like Christmas brings out the goodness in each and every person around us.
There’s something about the holidays that makes us want to be nicer and kinder to others and ourselves as well.
“Pasko naman. (It’s Christmas anyway)” is something we hear commonly nowadays to justify something in our lives.
Whether it’s having a break to prevent burn out, to spending on something that we have always wanted, loving ourselves more or mending broken ties with others, we seem to have gravitated towards using Christmas as a worthy excuse.
But do we really have to in the first place?
Come to think of it: does the Christmas season have something really special in it to make it as the perfect time to do the things we want and be the person we are meant to be, meaning our own #bestmeever ?
Of course as a practicing Catholic, I pay tribute to the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ and I truly celebrate that as, like what they say, is the true essence of Christmas. We can never discount that. And to be clear, my previous statement was never about minimizing the real value of the Christmas season in general.
It’s all about making you guys think: why do you have to wait for Christmas to give yourself what is due?
Acceptance. Self-Care. Love. Peace. Forgiveness. Happiness. New beginnings. Time off. Happily Ever Afters.
Here’s the thing: all those were never based on perfect timing. More so on Christmas per se.
They are based on your choices. Your commitment to yourself and your growth. Your willingness to make things right as you give yourself what you truly deserve to be able to live your best life.
Don’t wait until it’s December 25 or for the clock to strike 12 midnight to demarcate January 1 to turn a new leaf.
What if you treat every single day instead like Christmas?
How different will your life be?
Imagine your days filled with hope, joy and lots of good times and laughter.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, or when you want to embark on a new unfamiliar adventure, why not say: “It’s ok. Pasko naman. (Anyway, it’s Christmas)?
Christmas was never just a period in time.
It’s a state of mind and heart.
A beautiful reminder of choosing to love ourselves more, just like how baby Jesus loves us.
Unconditionally.
This is your sign.
Reach out. Inquire within. Let yourself be.
Share that Christmas in your heart.
And watch yourself, others and everything else surrounding you become merrier.
It’s your season.
Make the most of it.
You will always be the greatest investment you can make.
So true.
At the end of the day, it’s all about you.
How you make your decisions, how you choose the people you choose to surround yourself with, how you keep your own self-worth intact.
It can be said that at times, how others see you (and treat you, mind you) is basically a reflection of how much work you put on yourself and how many things you actually do away with.
While the goal is not to please others with everything that you do, it is important to know and take to heart that your growth should also be on top of your list.
And that can look like feeling better about yourself, looking the part, achieving more and inspiring others along the way.
Not to mention that as you grow your worth as a person, other people will naturally gravitate towards you, allowing you to build new relationships, discover new opportunities and expand your reach and influence.
Sounds good huh?
1.) Invest in yourself
I just had to repeat this. Yes, it’s that important. Take that class. Go on that vacation. Work out. Have that facial. Do whatever can help you improve yourself in all aspects. You deserve that. Remember, when you look good and feel good, you become more confident and desirable, not only to yourself but also in the eyes of others.
2.) Network
Allow yourself to expand your social circle and be intentional in meeting people who can add value to your life. I always say that you become the sum total of the 5 people you spend most of your time with so choose well. Maximize every event that you go to by making a wonderful impression on everyone that you meet, because who knows, someday, they might be the person (or they might introduce you to someone) that you need in your space. There’s no room for shyness when growth is at stake.
3.) Be comfortable in saying NO
Saying NO does not make you a bad person. It only shows how you give importance to yourself and your boundaries. By not always being readily available, you teach others to respect your time and space, something which you really deserve to have to begin with. Make your YES just as precious as you are, always.
4.) Be willing to wait
Great things take time. So stop pressuring yourself or rushing to the next opportunity that comes along. Learn to discern what you deserve. Don’t settle for less. You know what’s best for you. And take to heart that what’s meant for you will eventually find its way. You just have to be patient and enjoy the journey as you wait for what your heart truly longs for. Know your value.
5.) Let yourself be heard and recognized
You deserve to be heard and recognized by everyone else around you. Use your voice to influence others. Tap on your skills in writing, speaking or whatever you may be good at and share valuable pieces of insights and information for others to use and reflect on. Make a stand and inspire others to do the same as you use your voice to stir up discussions and mobilize inspired actions. Allow others to see a formidable leader in you.
So there. I hope these help you grow your worth so you will be able to take up more space as you become your own #bestmeever .
Trust me, your entire journey will be all worth it.
Just like you.
No pain, no gain.
We grew up hearing this, time and again.
And at times, I must admit, I can’t help but agree with this.
While I wouldn’t mind having a smooth sailing life to begin with, I have embraced the fact that life in general has its own twists and turns.
Most of which are beyond our control.
Which actually makes sense to just let things be and embrace the lessons each and every not so good experience that life may bring instead of getting anxious and stressed.
I know. That won’t be a walk in the park.
However, it’s very much possible.
To see the silver lining in every painful experience we have.
And change for the better as we anchor on all the lessons learned.
Allow me to share with you the 5 painful life experiences that will shape you.
1.) A death of a loved one
This one is inevitable. As much as we want to be with people closes to our hearts, we just can’t. Death is something we cannot predict, more so stop permanently. It’s as natural as the sun rising daily, and as day turns to night. While the intensity of the pain may vary due to the cause or timeliness of the death, each death teaches us an important lesson: how to fully let go and be at peace eventually with the decision. It may take time and a whole lot of effort, however, full, genuine acceptance of things, people and situations which are no longer there are crucial for us to move on and forward when life throws a curve ball. It also teaches us the important lessons of valuing relationships and making the most of each and every moment, as we can’t really say when it’s our time to go (or let go of someone). Treat every single day as if it was your last. Very good reminder indeed.
2.) A major break up
Ouch. I feel you. Haha! I know, this can wreck havoc in one’s emotional state especially if you have always believed that you will end up with the person who broke your heart. Well take note of this: it doesn’t mean that if someone broke your heart, you won’t have your happily ever after someday. Because trust me, you will. And that’s the important lesson a break up teaches you: that you have to be patient enough to get what you truly deserve. That you need to love yourself first so that others will love you just as much. And when you’re able and ready, the right one for you will come eventually. You just have to be the love that you want to receive.
3.) A significant failure
I know it can be so frustrating when you work so hard on something and not get the desired results. Whether it’s a wasted opportunity, a competition lost, a business that went bankrupt … they all are teaching us the same thing : that we can always do better. Knowing that there’s room for improvement should inspire us to continue journeying towards our best . Remember, it doesn’t end when you lose ; it only begins when you embrace the new lessons learned and apply them there after.
4.) A betrayal
Experiencing something that’s totally unexpected like a betrayal can hurt big time. More so if it comes from a person that’s close to your heart. One can’t help but feel immense hurt, anger and pain when trust is broken. But trust me, that had to happen in order for you to learn very significant lessons in self-worth and discernment. Betrayals teach you to become more mindful about the relationships you keep and the people you allow in your space. It teaches you about what you deserve and how to value yourself more. And those lessons will go a long way as you meet various people in your life time. It pays to know.
5.) Outgrowing people, things and situations
There will come a time that certain relationships with people, things and circumstances will no longer spark the same joy or ignite further inspiration. That can be such a heart breaking experience to realize that something familiar is slowly fading to oblivion. Whether it’s a childhood friend, a place you grew up with or something you owned, letting go can be so difficult. However, it’s a must because it teaches you that life goes on. Not everyone or everything must play a part in your next chapter. It’s ok if it ends there. It already served its purpose. Be grateful that it happened. Then bravely turn the next page as you welcome new people and experiences in your space. You’ll be fine.
I hope that by reading through these you got to evaluate and appreciate your pains more.
Truth be told, each pain serves a beautiful purpose.
As you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
So embrace them fully, whole heartedly.
Because there’s so much to gain.
“We can’t do the Lasik procedure on your eyes. You have cataract in each.”
My mouth wide open, my heart fell down the floor.
It can’t be.
Yep, that was my very response when the doctor first told me that I had cataracts in my eyes.
Of course I was in extreme disbelief because 1.) I wasn’t that old yet (young at 41) and 2.) that means I have to be operated on, much like how my mom and favorite aunt had theirs removed last year. And 3.) that means that I will have to put my life on hold for quite sometime in order for me to heal.
Come to think of it: that was actually my fear: to “stop living”. For the longest time, I have gotten used to my work routine and it just feels weird and scary for me to just be at home, doing nothing. While I have always been an advocate of over-all wellness, self-care and self-love, I must admit though that hard stops are sometimes difficult for me because I know that a lot of people depend on me to help them in their own personal journeys in discovering their own #bestmeever .
But hey, I can choose to resist or just accept my situation whole heartedly and happily while looking for that seemingly elusive silverlining at present. I chose to go hunting for the good stuff. Haha!
So immediately after returning from my birthday trip in Singapore, I had my blood work done, got my doctor’s clearance and then scheduled my operation. Mind you though: everything happened within a week’s time after returning. Yep that fast. So on my end, I also had to fix my schedule, do a general cleaning of my space so that everything will be disinfected and talk to my clients and tell them that I will be gone for a whole two weeks. I also had to rush the templates for my morning postings in my coaching community on Facebook so that people can still continue reflecting daily even in my absence.
After setting everything up and making sure that I have covered all bases, I was finally ready to undergo my surgery.
“I am quite surprised that you are still able to function with your eyes, given this.”
And then the doctor showed me how big my cataract was.
See that gray part blocking the entire eye? That’s the culprit. I know! I got scared too upon seeing it.
A part of me felt relieved that it was detected because for more than a decade, I have been using driving glasses and contact lenses whenever I go on-air or deliver live talks. It never struck me that I had something like that until recently when my night vision deteriorated fully and I can’t even drive and focus well when the sun is up. Everything was blurry and grayish…uhm, and now I know why,
The promise of being able to see clearly minus the glasses made me excitedly put on my hospital gown. I would have wanted a better fit, but who am I to complain?
This is how I would look if I get pregnant. Lol.
Upon entering the operating, I remember praying to God to at least allow me to surrender to the entire process and just trust everything. Believe me, when you’re going under the knife and it involves your eyes and you are not sedated, it’s not really a walk in the park experience seeing what gets to poke your eyes. Haha!
The operation was a success, albeit some of the moments the doctor had to stop because I was tensing up. Apparently, I was as calm as can be when my left eye was operated on first and then the week after, I had my right eye done. And that became a different story. Thank God for Dr. Gerard Bordador of Veterans Eye Center for being so patient, careful and understanding of his wriggly patient who gets startled whenever something is poked in his eyes. Haha!
Mind you though, it was just the beginning. The real work comes in when I have to apply eye drops hourly and take my antibiotics daily. These also coincide with the fact that: 1.) I couldn’t wash my face for two weeks to avoid soap getting in my eyes 2.) I can’t lift heavy objects, more so work out as intensely as I used to for a month 3.) Can’t bend down, moreso do inversions so I have to say good bye temporarily to my aerial silks practice 4.) Can’t drive or spend long hours straining my eyes online until it heals 5.) I have to wear my transition glasses for a month or so to ensure my eyes are protected, indoor and outdoor.
The last one was a relief because I didn’t like the way the goggles looked on me. Lol.
My constant, up to now as I blog.
Anyway, the million dollar question is: does it hurt?
Answer: during the operation, it was a bit uncomfortable but didn’t sting really. I mean, I doubt it if anyone enjoys getting his eyes poked while staring at a kaleidoscope of lights haha. Afterwards, that’s when eye drops hurt at times (remember there’s a wound in the eyes and it’s still not fully healed), which led me to shed tears and hop a round a bit. Haha! I also got a head ache after my right eye got operated on but it was easily gone after I took paracetamol. The other discomforts to which I am still gradually adjusting to now is being able to read text upclose as some letters seemed garbled at times but I was told that it will eventually be ok, of which I truly believe because I myself have less typo errors now, unlike during the first few days, that’s why I decided to blog only now before starting on my regular coaching sessions.
My views and my life definitely changed.
For the better.
Come to think of it, I realized I really needed this mandatory time of. Unknown to many, I recently experienced a heart break that left me feeling a bit lost, confused, and in pain. That’s a different story though. I was quietly navigating through my emotions then with the help of my own coach and my loving, selected few who were my support system. The hard stop allowed me to process everything better and treat myself kinder, because apparently, for quite sometime, I wasn’t really giving myself the kind of love I willingly give others. I just forgot and this pause made me remember.
The change in my daily routine really helped. While I struggled at first to contain all my unused energy, I found a blissful experience in just letting things be, journaling and reflecting about what I can do differently in my life. I took the opportunity to see things differently and clearly this time around, inspired by my cataract operation. I began assessing my space, my relationships and myself, as honestly and as vulnerable as possible. And that allowed me to grow with the flow in my current space where fear of not being in control no longer existed.
Here’s a glimpse of what I was doing in the last two weeks:
I started doing short morning walks. Here’s me doing one at 6am around the amenities area of my condo. Started with 10 minuter walks, gradually increasing to an hour as days go by, while being mindful of not letting my sweat get in my eyes. Or else. Running can wait.
I have recently discovered the joys in doing stretching in the morning. As I can only do light exercise and I am not allowed to bend over or invert, this routine helped me loosen my tight muscles and prevents me from having a sedentary lifestyle while stuck at home. My yoga mat has become one of my best friends.
I’ve said it before and will say it again: Netflix is one of the greatest inventions of the century. I can’t imagine surviving the last two weeks without it. I got to watch a lot of documentaries and reality tv series this time around and learned a thing or two that would like to include in my own bucketlist. Soon.
I got myself new transition glasses, without any grades for my eyes! My first time in over 10 years to own a pair of shades! can’t wait to head to the beach soon. But for now, I use it when I go online or when I have to do my grocery. And I can see 10x better or even more actually compared to before, minus the thick graded lenses! Wohoo!
Brave as I am, I started going out (to the mall) to do errands by myself and burn calories while doing so (indoor walks where there is less pollution and exposure to unwanted elements). Trivia: Gosh, I was like a kid gushing at how bright the mall lights were and how I can now read signages from afar. Never seen everything in full color until now. Simple joys but my heart overflowed after seeing so much gray before.
While it was tempting to just eat every now and then with the free time I have onhand, I chose to still be mindful of my diet. I stuck with my intermittent fasting, ate more veggies (something I learned from a previous relationship that allowed me to love myself more) and committed to my daily cardio routine. And lo and behold, I managed to shed off more pounds in the process, to date, after almost three months, 14 lbs to be exact. My target is to lose perhaps another 5 more lbs and I will have my 2018 body then where I was at my fittest. Pushing forward! Grateful that heart breaks have beautifying effects on me. Haha!
The time off allowed me to reconnect with my roots as well. After 10 years, went back to visit my province in Pampanga. Everyone there was caught by surprise and some even cried. It was a heart warming experience to see my relatives whom I haven’t seen for the longest time. Time heals all wounds indeed. And this season in my life allowed me to experience just that. This one’s for the books.
And of course, God wanted to cheer me up and sent me good news. So I got nominated in the 2022 Coach Awards for Best Executive Coach and Best Wellness Coach . Two categories. Alongside coaching industry leaders and game changers from all over the world. My heart jumped for joy, especially upon seeing people vote for me and campaign for me openly. Win or lose, I am grateful for this opportunity to be recognized for what I love doing best. Please do click on the highlighted links to vote please. Love you!
Lastly, I finally got to hang out with dear friends. Gosh, how much I missed human interaction with people who truly get me and vise versa! This lunch was fun and life changing in its own way as always. They said I was rocking my glasses. And that my new body was banging. Thank you for the vote of confidence my friends. I gratefully receive your compliments.
Went to my check up the other day and this is how my eye looks like. All clear now. Healing beautifully.
Exactly how I feel within.
Healing happily. Completely.
My cataract operation allowed me to see things clearly and feel deeply.
It was a journey towards my own #bestmeever .
And today, I start my next chapter, #unicorning all over .
Thank you for joining me.
