I mean, I bet you guys have experienced having people approach you for favors and vice versa.
Don't get me wrong, that's normal. After all, no man is an island and a helping hand will always be welcome.
However, admittedly, asking, giving and receiving favors can be tricky at times.
A lot of things come to play: your relationships, your resources, you state of mind, body and heart and the circumstances surrounding you.
Take it from me, through the years I have a lot of experience when it comes to favors, whether as a giver or recipient. And I can't help but laugh as I recall the important lessons I learned along the way. Yep, the risks were worth it. Haha!
So now, allow me to share with you the golden rules I have formulated to perhaps help guide everyone as they ask, give or receive favors accordingly so that whatever happens, relationships can still thrive.
When asking for favors:
When asking favors, never be demanding. Remember, this is a request, not an order.
Be genuinely interested in making small talk before asking for a favor. Never just spill the beans out. When in doubt, revert back to rule number 1.
Pre-determine your relationship status with the person you're asking favors from. Are you close enough? How familiar are you with each other? Never force anything to anyone who does not share the same space with you. Invest on building relationships first.
Be clear about what you want. Don't make the other party guess. Or else you'll end up getting less than what you expect.
Never be too desperate following up on favors. Trust the word of the other person. A follow up near the agreed upon date will be fine. Tons of texts, private messages, emails or calls will do more harm. That's harassment, you know.
Say thank you whether or not your favor is granted. It's a risk worth taking so take responsibility for it by being respectful at least.
Never lie just to get your favors granted. That will backfire eventually and will cost you even more than the favor recieved.
Work with what is convenient with the one you're asking favor from. Should you have preferences, express them as requests, subject to the other party's approval. It's not just about you and what you need and want in this case.
When granting favors:
Grant favors whole-heartedly. Never do things for others that are against your values or will.
Be clear with your intentions. Are you looking for something in return? Manage expectations. Not everyone is like you. Some may not know the concept of returning favors at all.
Grant only favors you can truly manage. Never compromise your core values or your well-being for the sake of pleasing others. Don't ever feel guilty for not being able to give what others expect from you or when you say NO to things not in alignment. You are in control. Never give up that space just to look good.
Express gratitude to yourself and to the one asking for a favor after. To yourself for being able to respond the best way you can and to the other party who saw you as a source of hope.
When receiving favors:
Say thank you genuinely. Please. This is basic. Enough said.
Please try your best to return the favor. This may not be immediately or of the same intensity but it will be really nice to express your openness to help eventually. Never burn bridges after getting what you want or you'll find yourself in hot water soon enough there after.
Honor your word. Make sure you comply with the demands/requests of the person granting the favor.
Never compromise your (and the other person's) integrity and credibility by putting your reputation at risk.
Grant others favors too. Let the goodness cycle continue. You've received help to help others who are in the same space as you someday.
Be honest always. When you're having difficulties in complying with what was agreed upon, say it immediately. don't do it the last minute. The other party deserves to know accordingly and make sure that you are ready to humbly accept what the other party has to say.
Don't ever take it against the other party if he/she is unable to grant your favor the way you expected it. There are a lot of things to consider and yes, it's not just about you.
Make the most of the favor received. Don't let it go to waste.
Your situation and how you feel have nothing to do with your commitment. Don't burden the other party about those and don't use them as an excuse for not meeting deadlines or submitting deliverables. Have enough self-accountability to make things work despite and inspite of. That's part of you as you become your own #bestmeever . When there's a will, there's a way. Or two.
Remember, when it comes to favors, respect is key. So make sure you take that in consideration whether you're asking, giving or receiving them.
I hope this helps everyone reading this see favors in a different light as you put more value on the relationships that come to play.