So I had this random conversation with a former workmate this morning and she said:
“What else could you want this year? You seem to have it all. You’re successful already!”
And it took me a moment before I thoughtfully replied:
“Thank you.”
Uhm yeah. That was the only reply I could muster at that point in time because her statement made me reflect about my current space.
She gave me a puzzled look and then said:
“I wish I can be as successful as easy and effortlessly as you did.”
At that moment, I immediately knew why I was taken aback.
While I have always been grateful about my life in general and everything I have at present, I didn’t really dig deep into my own journey towards achieving whatever it is I have on my plate now, until this conversation.
“…as easy and effortless as you did.”
OMG, did it really seem that way?
I can’t even fathom where to start as truth be told, the entire experience was far from that.
But yeah, I do get that impression a lot:
that my job as a life coach / counselor was easy because I just had to listen to my clients and give them something to reflect on without having to stay inside an office 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
that hosting TV and radio was a piece of cake since all that is needed is be charming and ask interesting questions.
that taking my PHd was not that challenging because I have already graduated from the same University twice (UP Diliman proud Iskolar ng Bayan here) for my Masters and Undergraduate degree.
that I have my entire life all figured out.
Well, here’s the thing: everything is just the opposite. Haha!
Here’s the truth about these misconceptions:
It’s not easy to do coaching or counseling. There are a lot of things to process and a lot of energy to give out and absorb. Ask other professionals out there, I am sure they can relate.
Hosting requires a whole lot of internal planning, strategizing and rapport with the audience to draw out the best stories. Sometimes though, the guests don’t really cooperate. Haha!
PHd. Guys, PHd. Which means a whole lot of research and theories. Enough said.
And I am not ashamed or afraid to say that still, as I write this, I feel that I am a work in progress.
And I am perfectly fine with that because that means I still have room for growth.
Which makes every little step forward more rewarding and more exciting.
So going back to answer my former workmate’s question, there are still a lot of things on my bucketlist that I want to achieve.
One at a time, in my own pace and space.
I am not in hurry. Nor am I going to be complacent.
What I am basically saying is that I know that greatness takes time and I am willing to devote that ( and a bunch of others) just to make my dreams come true.
Yes, it takes a lot to be successful.
And I am not saying that I should be everyone’s benchmark for success because my definition of success may be different from yours.
It never was about how much I earned. The awards received or the number of followers, viewers, readers or listeners I had.
For me, being successful is having the time, means and energy to do what my heart genuinely desires and be truly fulfilled with it.
So that means, even as I have a long way to go, I value the freedom I have to explore without fear all the options in front of me, simply because I am allowing myself to, based on my own terms, wants and needs.
But mind you though: the entire journey to having that privilege is far from easy.
Success, no matter how you may define it, as candid as I can be, can be very costly and demanding.
The only question is for everyone reading this is:
are you willing to pay the price?
As they say, time is the best gift you can give to others (and yourself as well). So true. You can’t really bring back time so however you spend it must be in accordance to what truly makes you feel happy, complete and fulfilled. In this case though, you must be willing to devote enough time, every single day, to doing at least one thing that will bring you closer to your goals. Consistency is key my dear. There are days you will feel too tired, too busy, too overwhelmed, but always remember that every second matters. It takes 10,000 hours of consistent, committed practice to be an expert in something. So be willing to spend just that for yourself and your dreams.
2. Losing people along the way
The sad truth about life is that not everyone gets to play a part in your story in the long run. Along the way, as you embark on your journey towards success, people whom you’ve had relationships with may simply fall off for various reasons: no longer in alignment with your goals, envy, change of priorities, a personal awakening …and a whole lot more. Admittedly, it may be painful at first but try to look at it this way: they’ve already fulfilled their purpose in your life. Now you’re clearing the way for new people to come in who will help you become the person you’re meant to be as you fulfill what you’re called to do. You don’t lose people who are meant to be in your space. You just welcome them when you’re finally ready.
3. A whole lot of smart and hard work
I would have loved it if I had a genie in a bottle to help make all my wishes come true. But I have to leave that part with Disney and focus on the reality that success demands a whole lot of smart and hard work. So be ready to bring in long hours, endure headache causing plot twists and challenge, overly tiring routines and a whole bunch of challenges to overcome along the way. Plus: be ready to indulge in a lot of slices of humble pie. Hehe. Bear in mind though that at the end of it all, when you work hard for what you truly want to achieve it, everything becomes more memorable and meaningful. You don’t want overnight success– you want a long lasting one that makes your legacy impactful.
4. Self work and self worth
Take this to heart: you are the best investment you can ever make. Your real confidence stems from knowing that you are at your peak state and that you are doing everything you can and giving all that you have as you pursue your biggest goals. Thus, learning more about yourself on a deeper level, working on your triggers and trauma and allowing yourself to nurture your potentials to the fullest will equip you with what you truly need when the going gets tough. Never feel guilty for spending on yourself and your growth because that is what you truly deserve. Your journey towards your own #bestmeever is a pre-requisite.
5. Unwavering faith
You become your thoughts. So it’s very important to keep believing in yourself and trusting the process. Never let difficult times change that. Don’t let previous failures get in the way. Also helps if you have a higher being to anchor to (whatever your religious belief may be, it’s ok), to ensure that when things seem almost impossible, your faith can pull you through. Praying can do wonders even during the most desperate situations. Never discount that fact because at the end of the day, I totally believe, that miracles do happen.
Having said all these, it’s now time for you to reflect:
in your own space, what are you willing to give up to be successful?
And what will make it all worth it?
You know what’s best for you.
And you deserve the success you want for yourself.
And just like that, it’s already December 1.
Whew. That was quick. And that’s quite an understatement.
FYI: I am still in the process of assessing where the rest of 2025 went. Haha!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining though.
After all, Christmas is my most favorite time of the year.
It serves as a beautiful break from it all, filled with good vibes, good food and good music.
Everything seems to be falling into place when the holidays draw near.
Or is it only my optimistic, wishful thinking?
I guess you can say that I choose to see things that way.
I mean, why focus on the chaos, the crazy deadlines and the not-so-good stuff on the news when you can spend the same amount of focus and energy on what actually is going right?
Ok now, the real question is: how are you in your current space?
Are you excited for the holidays or are you feeling blue?
Whatever your answer may be, for as long as you’re being honest with yourself, know that it’s ok.
Never too late to have a change of heart.
Amidst the chaos brought about by the yuletide rush, the key here is to ground yourself. Take that much needed time off and just let yourself be. Away from the work pressure and the need to conform, you get to discover what truly matters for you. Whatever that may be, go for that. All other things around you are mere distractions. Set your priorities straight and make sure you commit to them. You’ll be surprised to see how the other things will seemingly fall into place once you become clear and dedicated to what makes you genuinely happy, complete and fulfilled as you celebrate the holidays.
2. Choose meaning over money
Christmas was never about how much you can give but what intentions come with everything you choose to share with others. The monetary value does not matter; what matters is the thought behind it and how whole heartedly you want to make another person happy. Know that personalized gifts which you made yourself e.g. a hand made card, a cute keepsake or baked goodies are far more meaningful than any expensive item you can find in stores.
3. Gift yourself, guilt-free
Honey, you weren’t born just to please everyone else as you shower them with items on their wishlist. When was the last time you considered yours? You are just as deserving as everyone else. Buy that bag. Go on that trip. Splurge on that gadget. For as long as you’re willing to take responsibility as you live within your means, don’t ever feel guilty for spending on yourself. No need to justify to others whatever it is that will make yourself feel appreciated after surviving this year. That’s not exactly an easy feat and a reward or two can make a difference as you move forward to your next chapter.
4. Take time to just be present
Question: when at the mall, when was the last time you actually listened and enjoyed the Christmas carols being played? Or did you ever just sit down in one place, take a sip of your holiday drink and just watch the joy unfold on the faces of other people amidst the yuletide rush? Here’s the thing: no matter what you’re going through right now, when you stop, pause and allow yourself to just embrace the moment, you will realize how beautiful life is and how lucky you are to be able to witness miracles unfold right in front of you. Soak in the inspiration Christmas brings and you will never feel you lack anything when you view it from a lens of gratitude.
5. Update your bucket list
As the year draws to a close, now is the perfect time to check in with yourself and recognize what you still want to do and be in this lifetime. Best enjoyed when you write your bucket list coming from a space of endless possibilities, minus the limitations which your present situation brings or the pressures you are experiencing at the moment. Let your mind travel and your heart do the talking. Listen intently and know that whatever it is that you write, for as long as you believe you are truly worthy and you remain 100% committed no matter what, consider each and every item done and delivered on time, when you’re ready to receive.
Remember: beyond the festivities, what truly matters is how you choose to view this season of giving.
It’s not the society’s standards that will make you happier during the holidays; it’s finally embracing your own, as you celebrate it the way you want to, the way you truly deserve.
Happy holidays everyone.
2025 is almost over.
And I don’t know if you can relate with me on this but have you been doing a lot of reflecting lately?
And I don’t mean about superficial stuff like what to do with your bonus or where to spend the upcoming holidays. Though admittedly that’s more fun. Haha!
But rather, thinking about the year that was and the goals that you have achieved for yourself since 2025 began.
How are you doing?
How many items have you ticked off your list?
Take this time to appreciate how far you’ve gone.
Because no matter how your progress looks like at the moment, what is important is that you never gave up.
And for that, you deserve a pat on the back.
Now, on the other hand, are there items on your bucket list that are still left unchecked?
The question is: what’s the reason behind that?
What really is holding you back from finally ticking them off your list?
Hear me out on this: whatever you’ve been through does not define who you are and what you can still be. Know that everything happens for a reason and turn each and every experience that you’ve had into stepping stones towards your biggest goals. Never forget that you have that choice (and power) to look beyond what initially caused you pain and suffering and focus on the silver linings. You may not be able to undo the past but you can definitely still work on your present and create the future you want for yourself. Use the lessons you learned wisely with the clearest of intentions.
2. Your present situation
Life may not be the way you planned it at present and things may be harder than usual. You may be struggling now but it’s important to know that it’s only temporary. It will pass. Don’t miss the chance to make the most of your present by coming from a space of openness and doing away with any form of resentment so you can fully grow in harmony with what your current space is teaching you. Be patient enough to endure and allow yourself to hang on to hope as things change for the better eventually.
3. Your fears
Let me share with you a piece of truth: more often than not, our greatest fears don’t really happen. It’s our misconceptions that amplify them, something which we can challenge by focusing on the facts on hand. When struggling with fear, take time to ask yourself this: is it valid? Is it grounded on facts? Is it under my control? And what piece of factual information can debunk it? Know that fears only exist for as long as you subscribe to them so never lose the chance to question their validity and impact.
4. The lack of support from others
Your dreams and aspirations were never dependent on the support or approval of others. So why let the lack of support of others stop you from becoming your own #bestmeever ? A sad reality though is that sometimes, the people you expect to be there for you are no where to be found when the going gets tough or when your dreams get bigger. Know that it’s ok. By being your own greatest fan and committing 100% to your self and your growth, you are able to harness from within everything that you can ever need to pursue your goals. And know that along the way, you will meet people who are in alignment with your vision for yourself, who will be more than willing to extend their genuine support.
5. The responsibilities you have
While prioritizing your responsibilities for others like your friends, family, your work, school or whatever else demands your time, resources and attention, please know that you are just as deserving to give yourself all those. You are worthy of your dreams and fulfilling them is a matter of choice. You can always find time to pursue them, no matter how busy you are if you’re really 100% committed to making them come true. You can never be too busy for what truly matters to you, yourself included. Never set aside your own dreams and wants because with the right time management and making yourself a priority too, you can achieve all those in harmony with your other responsibilities.
Your dreams are waiting for you.
Take this as your sign to make that first step towards them.
Because much like everyone else, you deserve to make them come true.
You still have time. Go for it.
Fact: Life isn’t always perfect.
And things don’t always happen as planned.
Yup, it’s not always a walk in the park.
Nor one with non-stop celebrations.
Life can get difficult. Messy. And sometimes too much to take.
But it doesn’t mean you should give up because of that.
You should always remember that no matter what happens, your goals and dreams will always be worth it.
Don’t let hard times make you forget how deserving you are to become your own #bestmeever .
Allow yourself to struggle. To learn. And grow through each and every hurdle you face so that you can become the person you’re meant to be.
The hardships are not there to just punish you — they are there to mold you and help you embrace the valuable lessons you need moving forward.
And know that hard times don’t last forever.
The key here is to always seek for your own inspiration to keep you going as you never lose sight of hope.
Oftentimes, hard times make us forget how far we have gone and how much we have achieved in the past. Know that if you are struggling at present, that does not invalidate the fact that you have made it through even tougher times before. What is important now as you go through rough days is to remember what worked for you before and how you can apply them in your current space. Give yourself more credit. You are tougher than you think.
2. Count your blessings
No matter what you’re going through now, the mere fact that you’re reading this, you’re still blessed. Stop focusing on your struggles and start focusing on the things that are reminding you that life is good. Your family. Friends. Your house. Time for yourself. Your passion project. The career you want. Your pet’s unconditional love. The beautiful flowers and trees surrounding you. And so much more. You just have to open your eyes and heart to the fact that outside of your struggles, life goes on beautifully. And so can you.
3. Focus on what’s under your control
Here’s a beautiful insight: you only stress out more when you try to control everything, even those beyond your space of power and influence. How many times have you spent countless hours complaining about your situation without being able to change the results, just because it’s beyond your control? If you can relate to this, then this is your sign to divert your attention to what’s under yours: like your response to stress stimulus for instance. Or planning your next move. Or actually choosing to start all over again. Being able to gain control over little things in your space can inspire you to keep going no matter how tough times may be.
4. Seek support
In case you’ve forgotten: you are not alone in your struggles. Everyone else goes through difficult days, sometimes, even tougher than yours. So don’t ever feel that you are alone in your journey and that no one can understand what you’re going through. The beauty of less than beautiful days is that they reveal who you deserve to share spaces with and those who are just there for the meantime. Take time to know who are willing to extend a helping hand from your immediate circle and outside of it. This might come in as a beautiful surprise.
5. Start small, celebrate big
Don’t force yourself to bounce back immediately as if nothing happened. It is very important to allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt and to reflect and recalibrate there after. Allow yourself to start small: waking up. Doing one simple task. Pampering yourself. Things which you may have forgotten because life got too complicated. Celebrate the little milestones you achieved along the way. They matter more in the long run, as you keep going through your journey towards your own recovery from whatever it is that initially broke you. Yes, surviving another day is an achievement by itself. Remember that always.
Take this to heart: hope has always been inside of you.
You just have to inquire within, recognize it and never let hard times distract you.
May you recognize the hope you’ve always been carrying.
And the one that you give others just by existing.
Be your own greatest fan.
That’s not being narcissistic. That’s self-love.
Please. Don’t ever limit yourself when it comes to giving yourself what is due:
Unconditional love. Understanding. Compassion. Kindness. Appreciation.
The question is: when was the last time you did just that?
Ok, if it’s been a while, know that you aren’t exactly alone.
You see sometimes, when life gets hard, we forget how important it is to give ourselves the kind of consideration and love we willingly give to others who matter to us.
However, know that no matter what you’ve been through or going through at the moment, those really don’t determine your worthiness or define your value.
You know what’s best for you…so give yourself just that.
This line encapsulates it fully:
It’s ok to consider your own needs and wants too.
Because you matter just as much as everyone else.
Given that, it’s very important to stop treating yourself unfairly so that you get to grow in harmony with your own #bestmeever .
Heres the thing: you weren’t born to just to baby sit for everyone else around. You weren’t born just to work your ass off to pay the bills. You deserve to have time for yourself and spend it no matter how you want to, guilt-free. You don’t need to explain to others why you took that long vacation or when you decided to spend the weekend reading books in your bedroom. You have the right. And you deserve it.
2. Minimizing your own progress
Give credit to where it is due — to yourself, included. Reflect quickly: when was the last time you honored your progress? Don’t ever attach your happiness and fulfillment to the achievement of your end goal. You don’t have to postpone your appreciation for yourself until then. You can do it here and now, simply because if you looked back, you would realize how far you’ve gone. Remember: choosing to start a new journey is an achievement by itself. Continue celebrating yourself to stay inspired along the way.
3. Choosing to always play it safe
You’ve heard it time and again: growth is outside your comfort zone. That essentially means that you should be willing to take risks in order for you to be the person that you want to be. Holding back won’t get you anywhere in this life time. Give yourself that fighting chance to go for what you truly want: whether it’s all about starting a new career, learning a new skill in a new environment or speaking up and allowing yourself to take up space as you are. It may be really uncomfortable at first but the rewards are life changing.
4. Settling in unhappy, stagnant relationships
Life is too short to stay in any relationship that does not help you grow or make you happy. If you find yourself trying to justify the toxic relationship you have just because you’ve been in it for a long time, then this is your sign to reflect and realize that by staying, you aren’t exactly changing it. You could have done that a long time ago, but haven’t. There I said it. Maybe now it’s time for you to be honest with yourself and give yourself what you deserve: the chance to communicate openly with the person you’re in a relationship with and discuss how both of you would want to move forward, based on what will work best for your relationship and yourselves too. Sweeping issues under the rug don’t necessarily resolve them, you know.
5. Invalidating your emotions
Don’t be scared to be honest about how you feel. It’s the only way you can process them fully. Do away with shame or self-judgment. You deserve to let yourself be and feel what must be felt so that you can discover the lessons each one is telling you. Know that every emotion, good or bad, helps you understand yourself on a deeper level, only if you let them unfold fully without any form of resistance. It’s ok to feel the way you do. How you deal with it moving forward given that, matters more.
Let me leave you with this thought for reflection:
Treating yourself fairly is never optional nor dependent on any other person, timing or situation.
It’s a personal choice to be made consistently and genuinely, every single day. every single way.
Hope you commit to making that choice for yourself whole heartedly.
You are as good as how you keep your word.
At the end of the day, how you keep your promises determine your credibility and integrity, two things which you don’t ever want to compromise, no matter what.
Through the years, I have seen countless of relationships break, careers shatter and people spiral down because of their inability to honor their commitments.
The question is: why is that the case?
Well, let’s do a check in now.
In your case, what makes it difficult for you to honor your word?
Is it the overwhelming pressure around you?
The lack of priority?
Over promising but under delivering?
Whatever your reason may be at the moment, please know that no amount of excuses can save your reputation once it’s tainted.
So let’s not even go there.
Heightened emotions can cause you to make promises impulsively. This applies to both positive and negative ones. There is so much truth in not making promises when you’re overly happy, sad, angry or scared because one way or another, in the long run, you’ll regret making them. So make sure that before giving your word, you are coming from a very stable space and you are not driven by any form of extreme emotion that may blur your sense of judgment and commitment so to speak. Key reflection: how do I feel now as I make this promise?
2. Check on the feasibility of your promise
Over promising is one of the most common causes of not being able to keep one’s word. Remember: the goal is not just to please the other party at the onset of your discussion. The goal is to be able to deliver accordingly and exceed expectations. In order to do this, you must become very mindful of all the details, big and small, including timelines, deliverables and other matters of accountability so you don’t find yourself in an awkward position in the long run. Think about this: what bases must I cover to make all these things possible?
3. Align everything fully with the other party
I always emphasize the importance of putting everything in black and white so that both parties have something to look back at when caught in a crossroad. Please don’t ever find offense when someone tells you to put everything into writing — that’s actually the most professional thing to do and it safe guards both parties. Remember, if the intentions and all other pertinent details are clear, then you have nothing to fear. Always voice out your concerns and suggestions even before you shake hands so that they may be addressed accordingly ahead of time before they become issues in the long run. Something to ask yourself: What needs to be fully clear between us so we can move forward seamlessly with this agreement?
4. Communicate clearly and regularly
Whatever happens, always find time to update the person you’ve committed to. Never just disappear when times are harder than usual. You owe it to the other party no matter what. Be brave enough to have difficult conversations and be prepared to have solutions when unforeseen delays or changes in plans occur. Don’t ever leave the other person hanging as it speaks about your ability to maintain the integrity of your words and actions and ability to honor your relationships when hurdles are encountered along the way. Best if you can do quick check ins once in a while and take time to assure the other party about the progress of your agreements. That helps manage the anxiety and stress brought about by not knowing what has transpired along the way. Reflect: what needs to be communicated accordingly to avoid any future misunderstanding?
5. Prioritize your promises
It’s not just lip service; your promises can make or break you, depending on how you deal with them. Give them utmost importance. Always ensure that you do your best always as you give your all to fulfill them accordingly. Prioritizing involves finding ways, means and time to deliver what is due, by doing at least one thing per day that will allow you to do just that. Park your promises when you’ve fulfilled them. Until then, make sure they’re always in sight by doing away with what does not serve you at the moment. Check this out: what must I let go of as I make my commitment my focus now?
Remember this: to be able to keep your word to others, you must first learn to honor your commitment to yourself.
To keep your core values, integrity and credibility in tact, always in all ways.
And that means giving yourself what is due, no matter what that may be at the moment, as you journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever .
It starts with you.
Redirection, not rejection.
How many times have you heard that?
But it’s quite true.
Good or bad, everything has a purpose.
And that includes situations which at a glance, seem like failure, a mistake, missed opportunity or something very regretful.
However, in the long run, that fateful curve ball proved to be a blessing in disguise.
Take this time to reflect:
When was the last time you got rejected?
How did things turn out eventually?
I know. At the onset of any rejection, pain is inevitable.
However, once we get to embrace it and intentionally try to understand the purpose behind it, we begin to discover silver linings we never thought initially existed.
And yes, you can always start all over again, this time not from scratch but from rich, meaningful experience.
Know that in this lifetime, you will experience a number of rejections that will actually re-direct you towards the right path as you become the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
Here are 5 times rejection can turn to redirection:
I am sure that when you were younger, a lot of times you have heard your mom and dad say “NO” so sternly when you were asking for something, may it be a toy, a sleep over at a friend’s house or an increase on your allowance. And back then, it felt that it was coming from a space of being too mean and unreasonable and that it was meant to punish you for things you don’t even know you whether you were guilty of or not. But here’s the tea: it wasn’t all those you assumed. Their “NO”s back then were meant to protect you and teach you the value of what truly matters most as you grow up: taking responsibility, making the most of what you have while working hard for what you want. I began to realize all those as I aged and help raise my nephews and nieces. However, what I am doing differently now is that I talk to them in a level they could understand and not use my age or the tone of my voice as the source of my authority. Remember: a NO coming from a loving space will always be embraced fully with the least or no resistance.
2. When you didn’t fit in during your time in school
During our younger years, we tend to prioritize belongingness over our own self-worth and happiness. I mean seriously, how many times have you tried fitting in back then that led you to compromise your own beliefs and values? However, as we grow older, we realize that being rejected then, just because maybe you were seen to be different, or you had different sets of views and opinions, did not make you less deserving to take up space as you are. Looking at it now, being able to uphold your own amidst a sea of people who just conform to fit in is an achievement by itself. It was teaching you about your own value and how you can inspire others to embrace themselves whole and love themselves fully, no matter how others may respond to them. Belongingness starts from within. It’s all about being one with yourself, no matter what.
3. When your heart got broken by someone
I always believe that somewhere out there, someone is more than willing to love you the way you want him/her to. You don’t need to force yourself on anyone or shrink yourself to fit the limitations of your current relationship just to make it work. Don’t let one heart break stop you from finding (and being) the love you deserve. You will always end up with someone better after learning how you can love yourself more from your last heart break. Yep, it’s leading you to your biggest breakthrough yet.
4. When you did not get accepted for a job you applied for
There will always be a point in our lives where in we set our sights too much on that single job that we thought will change our career trajectory completely only to end up disappointed by not landing on it. However, we forget the important lessons the rejection is teaching us: that there is still room for improvement, that there’s something better in store for us and that we need to be willing enough and humble enough to work on ourselves as we pivot. And those very lessons, once embraced fully, will take us to places we never imagined. Remember: you may not have gotten the job you initially wanted, but that never means you’re not qualified to end up where you truly deserve. Trust the process. Take it from someone who has experienced so many rejections before finding and living my life’s purpose daily. And it was one hell of a ride, but definitely worth it. At times I just find myself uttering “Oh, that’s why…” and can’t help but smile in the process.
5. When you said “NO” to yourself
You know what’s best for you. So if you’re coming from that space, for as long as you’re willing to take responsibility, saying “NO” to yourself becomes an empowering experience instead. Most especially during times you are tempted to compromise your values and wellbeing, being firm with your decision may feel too harsh at first since you’re doing it to yourself. But hey, look at the bigger picture and realize how important having discipline is over temporary convenience or pleasure. You can postpone that travel. You can quit that job. You can stop chasing that person. You know when you’ll be ready. You know when you’re able to forgive. You know your own metrics of success. You know what makes you happy. Never feel the need that you’re depriving yourself by respecting your own timelines and values despite the pressure coming from others. And if people reject you because of that, it’s on them, not you. Because every NO you say coming from a space of self-awareness and love, is a YES towards your own growth.
I always believe that everything that is meant for you will always find its way and flourish no matter what.
Keep that in mind and keep that close to your heart.
Whatever space you’re in now, you’re still on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
Growth is a matter of choice.
And that’s a fact.
It’s all about making the most of each and every experience that you have and turning them into stepping stones to help you reach your biggest goals.
Though quite challenging at times, especially when life throws you a curve ball and knocks you off track.
However, what I have realized based on actual experience, is that stressing over things beyond my control or complaining over not so good results, won’t really change a thing.
Both bring my own growth to a stand still.
Take this time to quickly reflect:
What did you stress about recently?
How do you think that hindered your growth?
Was it about a missed opportunity?
A personal argument?
Hey, before we even continue because this list can go on for sure, please allow yourself to breathe.
It’s ok. It’s not the end of the world.
And you reading this is a testament of just that.
You still have a chance to make things right and grow in the process.
It’s not just about going with the flow at all times. You also have to be very much aware and clear of where you want to go, what you want to achieve and how you intend to make things happen for you. Don’t ever view planning as a waste of time. It’s always best that you come prepared so regardless of the results you may have there after, at least you gave yourself a fighting chance. Take pictures. List them down. Draw charts. Brainstorm with others. Do what works for you in order for you to fully visually and embrace your journey towards growth. Remember though: all these will only work if you stay committed to yourself and your goals, no matter what happens.
2. Listen intentionally without judgments.
Truth be told, you actually learn a lot when you listen. Be humble enough to accept the fact that you don’t know everything and that everyone you meet has an important message to share to you. Do away with your biases and come from a space of openness as you listen for what you need to hear, and not be drowned by what you want for validation. Shameless plug: check out my newly launched #BestMeEver Podcast for things you need to hear in order for you to reflect and recalibrate fully and become your own #bestmeever .
3. Ask questions. Even uncomfortable ones if relevant.
The only way you will know is when you ask. Never hold back when asking questions. For as long as your intentions are clear and you ask them respectfully, it’s ok. My profession as a coach entails me to ask questions that may trigger others but that’s part of my job: to bring awareness and understanding of one’s space through powerful questions. Who knows? The growth you may be looking for is just an answer away.
4. Explore more.
Don’t be afraid to take risks. Outside of your comfort zone is where true growth lies. Be curious. Be brave. Allow your beautiful child-like curiosity to come to surface. You will be surprised as to what awaits you on the other side of the fence. And yes, at times, the grass is greener there, with tall, vibrant trees to match.
5. Surround yourself with people who inspire you.
You become the 5 people you spend most of your time with so make sure you choose the best ones for you. Cut off any toxic relationship and focus on nurturing ones that genuinely support your growth and challenges you to become better in the process. Seek a mentor among your inner circle and learn openly from each and everyone you choose to surround yourself with. At the end of the day though, make sure that you guys are all in alignment as to what you want to achieve and how you can help each other do just that.
The journey towards growth is never easy but will always be worth it.
One step at a time. One day at a time.
And you will always be, regardless of how big or small your progress is, more than enough.
Your words are powerful.
Bundle them with your beliefs and they become unstoppable.
It is important to know though that your success is very much dependent on how you choose the things you say to your self and others and how strongly you believe each one of them.
Yep, your own words can make or break you in the process.
Here’s the thing: sometimes it’s quite hard to spot what isn’t exactly working for us simply because we have gotten used to saying it time and again in the past.
Default mode as they say.
However, default mode isn’t always right.
Take this time to reflect: what statements have you found yourself using time and again when you’re in a seemingly difficult situation?
What results do you get from using them so often?
I think it’s safe to say that more often than not, we tend to gravitate towards using statements that make us feel safe or ones which make us feel in control or comfortable.
But come to think about it now: what about the big opportunities you missed just because you were afraid to take the risk?
My dear, by now you know that success demands you to step outside of your comfort zone as you take that leap of faith towards becoming the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
And you’ll only be able to do that by becoming more mindful of the statements you use, whether towards others or to yourself.
Age is but a number. And there’s no deadline when it comes to pursuing one’s dreams. It all depends on how committed you are to it and how willing you are to go the extra mile no matter how long and whatever it takes. Yes. You can change careers at 40. Learn to utilize a new technology at 50. Become an influencer at 60. The possibilities are endless, so why limit them?
2. “I’m very busy.”
Fact: you can always find time for things and people that really matter to you. Work is not life. Same goes for your school stuff. Allow yourself to make time for opportunities that scare you but are very much in alignment with your goals. Drop the excuse and start embracing what is right in front of you simply because, your time is now.
3. “I’m not that type of person.”
It’s easier to say that we are not for something which we feel will make us most uncomfortable. But what if that very thing or situation is the one we need to grow? You’ve probably heard said it yourself: I am not into sports. I don’t like poetry. I am not techie. And the list goes on. However, looking at these now, what do you think is the value in at least trying? Maybe there’s a silver lining there waiting to be discovered only if you allowed yourself to.
4. “It already happened before.”
Well unless it’s a controlled experiment and you do the same things , the same way and the same time over and over again, then you can’t be really sure of the outcome. Never try to predict the future because you can’t. You deserve to take that risk and try once more because who knows, success may just be right around the corner. All you have to do is allow yourself to learn and grow from each experience, good or bad, so that you can use the wisdom gained moving forward.
5. “I can’t.”
You are just one letter away from changing your life for the better. Don’t let your fear of failing, being rejected or judged stop you from at least giving yourself that fighting chance to take up space and chase your dreams. Remember: things may be hard at first but with consistency and commitment, you eventually get to grow and flow in harmony with them.
So which of these statements resonate with you?
At least now with awareness, you are able to curate the things you say to yourself and others.
Choose your words wisely.
Your happiness and success are at stake.
Currently in my self-work era.
You read it right.
Actually, since last December, I have already decided on that the first quarter of 2025 will be spent on working on myself as I invest on my growth so I can be my own #bestmeever .
So I already made sure that everything was in place: lessen my commitments, free my schedule to insert new routines and time for learning, while giving my best to what’s on my plate as of the moment as I prioritize myself and my growth.
Mindset = Check. Heartset = Check. Willingness = Check. Commitment = Check.
Admittedly, there’s one thing that’s still a work in progress at the moment.
And I am sure you can relate with me on this: it’s difficult to stay disciplined when times are harder than usual and temptations surround you 24/7.
Take this time to reflect: what situation challenges your discipline the most?
Dieting?
Use of social media?
Shopping?
Dating around?
Of course, whatever your answer may be, know that much like before and always, this is a no judgment zone.
What is important here is to be aware of situations that trigger our loss of our own self-discipline and how we can manage them better.
Coming from vulnerability, upon enrolling in my Kaizen program this year (it’s a 100 day fitness and personal development program), it has been quite a struggle for me to daily monitor my calories, work out and log everything I do and eat. Haha!
So in the beginning, I found myself just coasting by, letting myself give in to sweet treats and buffets once in a while. Fortunately though, 3 weeks now in the program, I caught myself and vowed to be more disciplined in my approach.
After all, it’s for myself and my growth.
And so far, it’s working for me.
Mandatory. I mean, you can’t practice discipline without knowing what the end goal will be. Make sure that your goal follows the SMART format (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time Bound) so that you get a clear picture of what you want to achieve. Don’t just settle for general terms like I want to be happy, to be fit, to get rich. Be as precise as possible so you can focus fully on achieving just that. Having a vivid vision of having my own best body ever with 20% body fat as I come from joy by May 1, 2025 is what kept me going as I do my daily work outs and observe what I eat mindfully. Funny thing is that last night, I had a glimpse of what it would look like in my dream. Manifesting. Haha!
2. Have a beyond compelling reason to achieve your desired goal
Ok. In my case, it’s not just about vanity. And it goes beyond being summer ready. My main reason is that my coaching platform, #bestmeever , is all about becoming one’s authentic, unapologetic, grandest version….which includes the physical, mental and emotional aspects as well, things which are also taken in consideration in the program I am enrolled in. I would want to walk the talk, thus I need to embrace my own journey towards becoming my best by humbly enduring the entire process, listening to lectures, doing the action steps in between and engaging with others in the program along the way so I can be of value to them and vise versa. Indeed, it’s very true that when days are harder than usual, when I am at the brink of just throwing in the towel, I always try to recall why I started and what is the value of all these for myself and my growth. Grounds me immediately, swear.
3. Develop a strategic plan.
No, I am not talking about mere bullet points or random words that inspire action. I am talking about concrete steps that will help you achieve your goal in mind. Being strategic means aligning each and every action, behavior and mindset of yours towards the fulfillment of your desired results. In my case, I plot my schedule accordingly to fit in my work outs and mindful breaks in between, while monitoring dutifully my calories intake and reflecting how I can still improve moving forward. Being disciplined in this case becomes easier for me as I have a structure to follow, versus before where in everything was merely dependent on my mood or what I felt like doing at that point in time. P.S. it also helps that you plan your small steps first while keeping in mind the big picture so that you don’t get overwhelmed in the process —something that causes one to lose track of his/her purpose and stray away from his/her goals. Start small and then when you’re ready, go big (I am not sure how this came out, haha!).
4. Honor yourself along the way
Give yourself more credit for doing all that you can, with all that you have. That will always be more than enough. Affirming yourself along the way can help you stay disciplined in the process as you don’t have to wait for anyone else’s validation or anchor yourself on desired results that have yet to come. Big or small, every win is worth celebrating. And oh, you can even be grateful for slow days as they give you the chance to reflect, recharge and recalibrate accordingly so you can bounce back even better than before. In my case, I always say “thank you” and “good job” to myself every after accomplishing a task or when I manage to fight off laziness when I need to do my morning cardio. And yes, most of the time, with discipline intact, I win over my bed’s call. Yey! Try sharing your wins too. It’s not being arrogant; it’s all about honoring yourself and inspiring others to do the same as they celebrate with you.
5. Surround yourself with accountability partners
Police. This is what I call people who have my back whenever I feel like going astray. Involving your family, friends, significant other or whoever else that can keep a watch on you can do wonders for you and your journey as you stay disciplined in pursuing your goals. Taking inspiration from them and giving value to their words of encouragement and support can keep you going even during the toughest days. I like the set up that we have now in the Kaizen community where in we have accountability buddies and our designated coach (Shout out to Ciento Por Ciento and Coach Ben) whom we can reach out for support when reaching our targets daily become challenging and the cravings beyond bearable. Haha! A wonderful bonus also that the entire community is filled with like-minded individuals who are more than willing to give a helping hand or a word of encouragement as needed. Who can ever go astray with all eyes on you? Thank God for the amazing support system.
Working on one’s self requires a whole lot of time, effort, resources and discipline.
Hopefully, after reading this, you will have all in your current space as you work on the person you’re meant to be.
Your own #bestmeever.
Let’s continue happily with our journey!
