“I’ve had enough!”
This is the line that most commonly precedes an eruption of emotions.
Truth be told though, it’s not exactly a bad thing.
It means that you are actually setting boundaries and that you have finally realized how important they are in your life.
The key here is to allow yourself to feel, minus any form of judgment towards yourself and the negative emotion involved.
So do away with your personal biases about anger, guilt, shame, sadness, regret, fear or whatever negative emotion you may be feeling at present.
Remember, it’s not bad to feel them…just don’t be them (negative emotion).
Example: You can feel anger …. but, you don’t have to brand yourself as an angry person.
While you’re at it, allow me to share with you the 5 ways you can let go of negative emotions:
Don’t ever deny them or run away from them. Know that you can only resolve negative emotions you have come into terms with. Know them. Feel them. And then reflect: what is making me feel this way? What are these emotions telling me? Note that what they’re telling you, as mentioned before, may not be exactly a bad thing.
2. Question their validity in your present space
Ask yourself this: is what I am feeling based on facts or assumptions? Are these emotions still relevant at this point in my life? Most people tend to operate based on past experiences, including the negative emotions associated with them so it’s best to assess your current space instead and allow yourself to gradually heal from within.
3. Express them out responsibly
Don’t let any form of negativity overwhelm you as you let them all pile up from within. Consider releasing them by crying, shouting, exercising or channeling your feelings towards something that’s constructive, not destructive. Remember that you should always have yourself accountable for your actions so choose to express how you feel with care and consideration, not only for yourself, but for others as well.
4. Talk it out
It’s very important to know that you’re not alone. So reach out to your trusted family, friends or even a mental health professional (when needed) for you to be able to articulate how you feel and get to process and let go of all those negative emotions you have within. In the rare cases that no one is readily available,, you may want to consider journaling or recording a video to help you declutter your mind and heart.
5. Focus on what you can control
We tend to be overwhelmed at times because we try too hard to make things happen like we want them to but we tend to forget that some are actually beyond our control. What you can do though is make a list of stuff under your control and work on them. Anything that’s beyond your control, including the negative emotions associated with each, just let go. Surrendering can do wonders for you if you learn how to trust the process and yourself as well.
I hope this blog post of mine helps you unburden yourself with any emotions that are hindering you from becoming your own #bestmeever .
Like I always say,
if it does not help you grow, let go.
Life has its own ups and downs.
And that’s ok.
I mean of course it will be really nice if life was purely a bed of roses.
But hey, realize that challenging times make life more interesting and they make us appreciate our random blessings more.
Not to mention that they teach us important lessons to help us grow further as we make our own lives more meaningful.
However, I won’t discount the fact that at times, life can be draining.
Things not happening the way we planned, unforeseen unfortunate events which make us fall off track.
All of which leave us feeling frustrated, anxious and unhappy . I think these are the best words to describe how majority felt
during the entire duration of the pandemic. Can definitely relate.
One important thing we tend to forget though: life goes on, no matter what.
1.) It’s only temporary
True. Think about it this way: would what you’re worrying about now still matter in a week, month or year’s time? Our initial reaction is to feel overwhelmed by everything that’s happening around us. By pausing and reflecting on the impact of what initially stressed us, we begin to realize that it’s not really life-changing so to speak after quite sometime. And that allows us to focus more on what we can still do at present to improve our meantime space.
2.) You’ve made it through before
I think you will agree with me on this that there are a lot of things in our lives that we managed to overcome but we tend to acknowledge them when the going gets tough. When you’re feeling sad, now is the best time to remember all those previous experiences which you have gone through and succeeded in the process. If you’re able to withstand that kind of test before, whether it’s surviving a betrayal, a break up, a failure or any other personal tragedy, know that you can do it once more because you have what it takes now: the experience and the lessons learned.
3.) Help is readily available
You’re not alone. You are supported and loved by a lot of people around you. You only need to reach out and let them know. Beyond your usual family, friends or significant others, you will be surprised by how even random strangers will be willing to give you a helping hand. Note though that when things seem really too much for you and you’re breaking down immensely non-stop, it is best to seek the help of a mental health professional so that you will be able to process things better and prevent you from spiralling down further.
4.) There’s always a silver lining
Practicing gratitude can help you get through even the toughest of days. Instead of just focusing on the problem (which actually amplifies it, based on the law of attraction), be intentional in seeking for what can be good about the space you’re in. By doing so, you find renewed value in whatever it is that’s making you sad as of the moment. In the long run, you will realize how that particular situation actually helped you grow more in the process only if you look beyond what is superficial and recognize the valuable lessons hidden underneath.
5.) You are still blessed
Hey, know that life can’t be that bad every single day. So now is the best time to bring out your journal and list down all the things that made you genuinely happy and proud. Remembering the good times during tough days allow you to find inspiration as you continue on with your #bestmeever journey, regardless of what you’re going through at present. Give yourself more credit and appreciate all things that went right in your life by not comparing yourself with others and simply focusing on your wins as they are.
I hope that by reading this you feel much better now.
Time to smile once more.
Your best life awaits.
First things first:
Happy new year everyone!
I hope that you are just as excited as I am to welcome 2022 with open arms, mind and heart
Don’t you just love the gift of new beginnings?
I mean knowing that we made it this far, it’s not game over for us.
Life goes on. It always does.
So do away with being anxious and worried about the things to come. Remember, no matter how challenging last year may have been, things can be different now.
As we bid 2021 good bye, it’s time for us to embrace this new chapter of ours with much hope and positivity.
So it’s only fitting that we start what we have on our bucket list and our new year’s resolutions.
I actually started my day taking a long walk, enjoying the first sunrise of the year in this beautiful beach that I am at.
I took time to reflect and own the space I was in (and it was good thing that the beach was not that crowded then (see picture for reference). It’s so nice to feel grounded and empowered to be able to start the year on a clean slate as I thought of all the things I can begin with this year.
I want to share that experience with you guys.
There you go.
So what will you start on this year?
Whatever it is, start with all your heart.
Claiming this happier, healthier and more beautiful 2022 for all of us as we own our space.
When you’re ready to start on your journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever , message me.
Let’s make this year the best one yet.
As a whole, 2021 was a learning experience for me.
And that’s an understatement.
I mean I can’t say that it was a really awesome year because hey, the pandemic has taken a toll on all of us (mental health, relationships, business among others) and it’s not really easy for a travel bug like me to be oftentimes stuck at home because of travel restrictions during the lockdown.
On the other hand though, I am extremely grateful because to date, I am able to remain healthy and genuinely happy in my space and I am still blessed with a whole lot of opportunities to grow both on a personal and professional note. Taking these in consideration, I would say that 2021 was not that bad either.
Candidly speaking after seeing the big picture both ways, I totally believe that it taught me a whole lot of important life lessons which I need to take to heart as the new year approaches. I think they will all be quite useful as I (and you guys reading this) make our new year’s resolutions.
So there you go, I hope these life lessons help you in your personal journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever this coming 2022.
I look forward to journeying with you all and celebrating you and your growth along the way.
Thank you 2021 for the life lessons.
Happy New Year guys!
2022, we are ready.
People don’t really buy your products; they buy you and your results.
So if that’s the case, your credibility is at stake.
Your credibility determines how many people will trust and support you, how many brands and organizations would want to partner with you and how many more opportunities will open up to you, regardless of the industry you’re in.
And when we talk about credibility, it goes beyond the number of followers, engagements or likes on social media.
It’s all about being authentic, practicing with integrity and delivering consistent results.
1.) Beef up your credentials
Be an expert in your field of choice by engaging in continuous learning and growth. Study necessary disciplines and allow yourself to be certified and trained by reputable institutions so don’t forget to do your research first. Aim to become a thought leader in your field by writing high-value articles for websites and give expert advice and talks to communities that are in alignment with your industry. Be as focused as possible because at the end of the day, you can’t be everything everyone else expects you to be.
2.) Don’t ever fake it
I’ll say it again: you’ll never make it if you fake it. Don’t ever lie to the people who are genuinely supporting you. Authenticity is key. Don’t say you’re earning millions and millions consistently but have unpaid debts. Don’t talk about professionalism when you are running away from your own responsibilities. Speak and live your truth. It would eventually come out anyway. Don’t let your lies stemming from wanting to look good and perfect in the eyes of others tarnish your reputation eventually. Consider what matters more.
3.) Honor your commitments
You are as good as your word. Don’t ever make promises that you can’t keep. Your lack of commitment reflects on your character. So it’s best that you always deliver what is due and do away with the unnecessary drama and excuses. At the end of the day, it’s not just about you, how you feel and the situation you’re in; it’s also about the other person/party affected by your actions or lack there of.
4.) Amplify your results
Let your work speak for you. Deliver consistently desired results and allow your client’s testimonials amplify the work that you do. Always strive to get feedback and seek ways on how you can improve your service better. Remember that results go beyond the numbers; it’s also how you manage your relationships and grow in harmony with them (and your output) in the process.
5.) Give your best always
Being your own #bestmeever always allows you to become a joy to work with as you grow with the work on hand. Be 100% present at all times and strive to achieve what is necessary no matter what it takes. At the end of the day, whatever yourself may be, celebrate with the people you work with and give yourself a pat on the back because you have given more than enough.
I hope these can help you build your credibility.
Simply because, your credibility sells.
So invest on it more.
Not everything (or everyone) deserves to be in your space.
And that’s perfectly ok.
You don’t have to force yourself to hold on to things or people which do not spark joy.
You don’t have to settle in a space that does not inspire growth.
And yes, you have that power of choice to turn your life around.
As the year draws to a close in a couple of days, now is actually the best time to reflect about what you finally need to let go of so that next year will be far better.
I have spent the last few weeks reflecting and this is the list I have come up with.
It was quite amusing coming to realize why I have tolerated them for the longest time thinking that they were normal or that I needed them when fact is, I can actually live without them and doing such will allow me to flourish more.
1.The drama
Oh my gosh, time and again I have been invited to participate in the drama of other people, whether as a by stander or an actual character in their story. I thought I was helping by being there only to realize that I only wanted to be there because subconciously I was being validated for having that sense of belongingness. Crazy I know. When I caught myself, I immediately distanced myself at the onset of any form of drama that is thrown my way. And yes, I am now living my own story, with my happily ever after.
2.) The extreme pressure on yourself
It’s a fact that the society has certain standards to be met and that people have a lot of expectations about me and what I do. That only adds up to the pressure I used to give myself, wanting to live up to my own ideals in harmony with those of others. Not good for me. I realized that I was practically driving myself to getting burned out and unhappy about what I was doing because I was doing all them out of obligation to comply rather than inspiration. So what I did though was loosen up: I allowed myself to go at my own pace, redefined my concept of productivity and allowed myself to find joy outside of what i do, and realize through happiness from within. End result: I actually became happier and my productivity is maximized even as I take certain days off.
3.) The excuses
I know that at some point, having excuses were meant to protect myself from an unfamiliar or unpleasant situation. However, come to think of it, what is making it difficult for me to express myself in black or white was the need to please by sugarcoating my words. When I arrested that false notion, I am pleasantly surprised that people loved my honesty and authenticity and that it was ok to just go do what feels right as long as I will be taking responsibility for my actions. The goal goes beyond succeeding in a new endeavor, but rather maximizing and growing from each and every experience that’s not limited by any form of excuse. At the end of the day, only my excuses and self-doubts can limit me. And I won’t let that happen. Not today, Satan. Haha!
4.) Your what could have beens
I know that at times we tend to look back at the past and succumb to the overwhelming thoughts of being able to do so much more before. These thoughts leave us doubting ourselves in the process at present. Fact though is that we all can’t turn back time. So upon reflecting, I personally just focused on what I have here and now and how I can make the most of it. It’s not about what could have been, maybe because it’s meant to be like that and that’s something I need to be able to accept. My new practice is to focus on what can still be as I do everything under my control so that I look at all past events, regardless of the results with much gratitude and the future, with much optimism.
5.) Your excess baggage
Yaaasss to this! I mean we all have been through a lot and perhaps even going through so much more at present. But hey, holding on to all these things and repeating them to ourselves over and over again will not help us find the right solution to them and will only lead to more anxiety. Clearing our minds and focusing on what we can still do, will. Don’t let your excess baggage distort your future journey. Travel light. Trust me on this. Everything becomes more enjoyable there after, provided you know where you want to go next and you are committed to make that happen fully.
I hope these help you reflect on your current space. If you’re having a hard time wrapping things up this year as you figure out what you can live without, then worry not. Will be launching my free workshop in my self-empowerment community this December so make sure to register in advance because limited slots are available so that next year, as you start it, will definitely your best year ever.
It’s ok not to be ok.
My exact space in the last 23 days.
This may come as a surprise for a lot of people because they still saw me working, smiling, coaching and inspiring others to become their best.
However, I told those who were really close to me about my real state then:
That I was tired. Sad. Burned out. Anxious.
Definitely not my own #bestmeever . The irony of it all. Haha!
I wanted to share this with you all to allow you to be comfortable with yourself and how you feel and help you manage your emotions and mental state along the way.
I am just very fortunate that I have a solid support system and I knew how to coach myself in between sessions with my own master coach.
I know though that it may be difficult for others so hopefully this blog post of mine can help you. One small step can make a very big difference in your life now, or in someone else’s who might be in the same dark space at present.
What you’re feeling is valid whether it’s sadness, anger, grief, or whatever it is. . Don’t invalidate it. Remember, the more you resist it, the more it will persist. Come from a space of humility and honesty and allow yourself to feel accordingly. That way you will be able to process your emotions better. Express your emotions accordingly: cry if you must, release your anger (or any other emotion) mindfully.
2. Give yourself a break
More than ever, now is the best time to rest. Don’t feel guilty for giving yourself a break. You can always take responsibility for your actions there after. What is important now is that you don’t force yourself to be highly productive when you’re not your best. You’ll only compromise your output and you’ll feel more frustrated there after. Take a day or two off or even a week. You know yourself better. Just make sure that you endorse everything properly and you explain clearly to all those who will be affected. In my case, I told my clients that I will be coaching remotely by the beach and I will be accepting less sessions in the process so I can have my much-needed time off, one I never did allow myself before when the whole pandemic started, because you guessed it, work calls.
3. Do things you love
I went to the beach because it’s my happy place. I made it a point to consistently do long walks every morning and evening while reflecting and coaching myself in the process. In your case, treat yourself to what makes your heart skip a beat, something outside of your usual routine and one that can make you appreciate yourself and your new space more. What is important here is that you allow yourself to grow in harmony with the present as you gain clarity about what’s causing your emotional and mental turmoil.
4. Talk it out
Don’t be afraid and ashamed to reach out to people whom you trust fully. Have your own support group. In my case, I only told the people who were closest to me and my coach that I wasn’t really in a good space. What I liked was that all of them didn’t try to give me any advice or forced me to have a coaching session immediately. They just told me to take my time off and talk to them when ready. And so I did. That allowed me to be able to feel secured all through out my personal journey, knowing that I am supported and loved accordingly. One thing though: it is advisable that you don’t have your meltdown on social media because at times that becomes a show for others more than just a concern. When at the brink of giving up, reach out. Even to a mental health professional or a coach to help you manage everything better.
5. Journal daily
Write down your thoughts. Whatever they may be. This mental dump will help clear your mind and allow you to unburden yourself in the process and have something to look back at when things finally fall into place eventually after the storm. Feel free to express your emotions accordingly with each thought and recognize breakthroughs and small wins along the way as you celebrate them. I am a firm believer that no matter how bad things may seem at present, there will always be a beautiful silver lining. You just have to be intentional in seeking the good beyond what’s in front of you. Yes, that’s very much possible so that you get to realize how blessed you are to begin with.
I hope these tips help you when you’re feeling down. Remember that’s only temporary.
Because soon, you’ll find yourself in a happier space again.
Been there. Done those. And I am now ok.
Hang on. I got you!
Not every story has a happily ever after.
Especially if you choose to stay in a toxic relationship.
I know. It might seem perfect at first.
Meeting (and being with) your dream guy/gal for the first time can seem like a fairy tale that came true.
However, as time goes by, things change. People change. You change.
And so does the relationship you’re in.
We can only cross our fingers that everything changes for the better.
But what if it does not?
What if the once sweet, oh-so-perfect relationship turns sour and too toxic, what do you do?
Do you hold on and wait?
Or do you take the next flight out?
Don’t get me wrong, there will always be relationships worth fighting for.
However, in my opinion, all parties involved must be willing to work things out.
It can never be just one sided.
And to be candid about it, that’s actually one of the many red flags of being in a toxic relationship.
Allow me to share with you the 5 signs you’re in a toxic relationship and what you can do there after.
This. I always believed that any relationship you choose to be in should bring out the best in you and not the worst. Whatever happened to what Disney taught us about having happily ever afters? Keep that in mind. There’s no point of settling in a relationship that makes you feel less of a person.
What you can do: Take a step back. Reflect. Where is this coming from? What are you tolerating? What is not working for you? In the process of doing so, always be true to yourself because your honesty will set you free.
2. You’re not growing
Feeling stuck? Spending more time doubting yourself than working on your dreams? Your relationships must inspire and help you to grow into the best version of yourself. If not, then think again.
What you can do: Reflect. What or who is stopping you? And why are you letting it happen? Analyze in the process: what’s the value of growing at this point in your life that will allow you to commit to it fully? You deserve the growth you envisioned for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone make you think or feel otherwise.
3.) You don’t have a voice in the relationship
If you feel that you’re always set aside, taken for granted and disrespected time and again, it’s time to assess the relationship you’re in. It takes two to tango and you don’t deserve to just be a back up dancer for the rest of your life.
What you can do: Assert yourself. Be confident and brave enough to speak up. Ask yourself this: what will do you better in the long run, keeping mum about things that don’t sit well with you and tolerating how badly you’re treated or voicing out your concerns and owning your space so you can grow in harmony with the relationship you chose to be in by playing your part? Never let anyone silence your voice and your rights.
4.) You always have excuses
If you always find yourself justifying your decisions or covering up for your partner or the things that aren’t exactly working in your relationship, whether to yourself or to others, then, you might be trying too hard to convince yourself that you’re not in a toxic relationship.
What you can do: Inquire within. Why are you coming up with excuses? What do you want to achieve? What is the reality in front of you that you must accept? Remember, you cannot resolve what you continuously deny yourself of, whether it’s the truth or the opportunity to see things in a different light.
5.) You don’t feel whole
As you are, regardless of who you’re with, you should be whole. If you feel broken still and the concept of completeness, despite the presence of another person in your life, is non-existent, it’s telling you a lot about the kind of relationship you’re in. And yes, it’s toxic.
What you can do: Choose to give yourself time and space to heal and be whole again. Again, you can’t give what you don’t have and if your toxic relationship has drained you, then it’s time to fill your cup again. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to become your own #bestmeever .
After all that’s been said and done now, I hope that you realize that you owe it to yourself to be in a relationship that will allow you to become the person you’re meant to be.
Beyond your tolerations.
And if you need help re-writing your relationship story, whether with yourself or with others involved, don’t lose hope. just message me.
Let’s re-create your own happily ever after.
Fact: No one’s perfect.
So why do we always strive to look flawless in the eyes of others?
I guess it’ safe to say that it’s our ego acting up.
Making us want to look good at all times.
Making us feel insecure at times too.
But in reality, do we really have to embrace perfection as our own standard of happiness and contentment?
Come to think of it.
What’s the worst thing that can happen when you embrace your flaws and imperfections?
Still reflecting?
I hope these tips help you accept your flaws and imperfections better so that in the process you will be able to discover your very own #bestmeever .
There’s more to life than your work.
Like, seriously.
I want you to take this time to assess yourself: how many hours per day do you spend working?
How many hours do you have left to spend for yourself, your loved ones and things that matter to you in between?
If you’re having a hard time answering these comfortably, then it’s time for you to rethink your priorities, as you give yourself a much-needed break.
A break can mean anything from having a few minutes lounging around, getting a spa treatment, or finally going for that month long vacation in a place you’ve always wanted to visit.
1.) You are able to treat yourself with kindness
Self-care is key if you want to succeed in anything that you do. By listening to your mind and body and allowing yourself to relax and recalibrate, you keep yourself in tip-top shape holistically.
2.) Prevent unwanted burn out
Stress accumulates over time, most specially if you continuously immerse yourself in tiring situations. This leads you to hate whatever it is you’re doing and lose your drive over time. Yes, that’s a sign that you’re getting burned out. So it’s time for you to cool down and let yourself be so you get to decompress and let stress leave your tired body and soul.
3.) You get to pursue your passion
At the end of the day, it’s important to do things that make your heart sing and allow you to feel happy, complete and fulfilled. So take time to have breaks to pursue your passion and live your dreams outside of work. You will eventually realize that you’ve been missing on a far more beautiful experience for the longest time.
4.) You are able to nurture relationships around you
Work can pay the bills, but it won’t necessarily allow you to build lasting relationships with people who matter to you. So it’s very important to take breaks and just enjoy the company of people who have been with you through thick and thin, long before you have chosen to bury yourself with work. In the long run, these people have your back, which definitely can’t be 100% the same case with your work where everyone can be replaced by yet another new hire.
5.) You allow yourself to become your #bestmeever
Don’t ever let your work define who you are or what you can still be. Having breaks in between will allow you to discover more about yourself, gain clarity about what you really want and need so you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be.
I hope these reasons help you choose yourself and your over all well being more.
And you can always start by giving yourself what you deserve the most: a break from it all.
