Favors can make or break relationships.
This is just my take.

I mean, I bet you guys have experienced having people approach you for favors and vice versa.

Don't get me wrong, that's normal. After all, no man is an island and a helping hand will always be welcome.

However, admittedly, asking, giving and receiving favors can be tricky at times.

A lot of things come to play: your relationships, your resources, you state of mind, body and heart and the circumstances surrounding you.

Take it from me, through the years I have a lot of experience when it comes to favors, whether as a giver or recipient. And I can't help but laugh as I recall the important lessons I learned along the way. Yep, the risks were worth it. Haha!

So now, allow me to share with you the golden rules I have formulated to perhaps help guide everyone as they ask, give or receive favors accordingly so that whatever happens, relationships can still thrive.

When asking for favors:

1. When asking favors, never be demanding. Remember, this is a request, not an order.
2. Be genuinely interested in making small talk before asking for a favor. Never just spill the beans out. When in doubt, revert back to rule number 1.
3. Pre-determine your relationship status with the person you're asking favors from. Are you close enough? How familiar are you with each other? Never force anything to anyone who does not share the same space with you. Invest on building relationships first.
4. Be clear about what you want. Don't make the other party guess. Or else you'll end up getting less than what you expect.
5. Never be too desperate following up on favors. Trust the word of the other person. A follow up near the agreed upon date will be fine. Tons of texts, private messages, emails or calls will do more harm. That's harassment, you know.
6. Say thank you whether or not your favor is granted. It's a risk worth taking so take responsibility for it by being respectful at least.
7. Never lie just to get your favors granted. That will backfire eventually and will cost you even more than the favor recieved.
8. Work with what is convenient with the one you're asking favor from. Should you have preferences, express them as requests, subject to the other party's approval. It's not just about you and what you need and want in this case.

When granting favors:

1. Grant favors whole-heartedly. Never do things for others that are against your values or will.
2. Set clear expectations and parameters. Never give false hopes or play with the emotions or thoughts of people. Better to be honest than to lead people on. Stick to what you agreed on.
3. Be clear with your intentions. Are you looking for something in return? Manage expectations. Not everyone is like you. Some may not know the concept of returning favors at all.
4. Grant only favors you can truly manage. Never compromise your core values or your well-being for the sake of pleasing others. Don't ever feel guilty for not being able to give what others expect from you or when you say NO to things not in alignment. You are in control. Never give up that space just to look good.
5. Express gratitude to yourself and to the one asking for a favor after. To yourself for being able to respond the best way you can and to the other party who saw you as a source of hope.

When receiving favors:

1. Say thank you genuinely. Please. This is basic. Enough said.
2. Please try your best to return the favor. This may not be immediately or of the same intensity but it will be really nice to express your openness to help eventually. Never burn bridges after getting what you want or you'll find yourself in hot water soon enough there after.
3. Honor your word. Make sure you comply with the demands/requests of the person granting the favor.
4. Never compromise your (and the other person's) integrity and credibility by putting your reputation at risk.
5. Grant others favors too. Let the goodness cycle continue. You've received help to help others who are in the same space as you someday.
6. Be honest always. When you're having difficulties in complying with what was agreed upon, say it immediately. don't do it the last minute. The other party deserves to know accordingly and make sure that you are ready to humbly accept what the other party has to say.
7. Don't ever take it against the other party if he/she is unable to grant your favor the way you expected it. There are a lot of things to consider and yes, it's not just about you.
8. Make the most of the favor received. Don't let it go to waste.
9. Your situation and how you feel have nothing to do with your commitment. Don't burden the other party about those and don't use them as an excuse for not meeting deadlines or submitting deliverables. Have enough self-accountability to make things work despite and inspite of. That's part of you as you become your own #bestmeever . When there's a will, there's a way. Or two.

Remember, when it comes to favors, respect is key. So make sure you take that in consideration whether you're asking, giving or receiving them.

I hope this helps everyone reading this see favors in a different light as you put more value on the relationships that come to play.

And that's one favor you can give yourself now.

I love celebrations.

And that's an understatement.

Big or small, I love the energy when people come together and just express their gratitude over milestones and wins.

The energy is so inviting and inspiring whenever I see people smile, laugh and just focus on being present in this happy moment, alongside others who share their joy.

Applies also to people who celebrate on their own by choice. You're entitled to that to begin with.

Can't we just be like this every single day? Haha! I wish.

While, happiness is a matter of choice and we can have our own set of habits that will help us cultivate our own happiness, admittedly, life in general isn't exactly a bed of roses.

I mean admittedly, life throws us a curve ball, sometimes a dozen even, haha. and these painful experiences despite their lessons, make us forget how beautifully happy life is in general.

Well, today, let me remind me how amazing your life is as you get the chance to enjoy these 5 important life celebrations and the lessons they bring with them. Remember, for as long as you're alive, you have the opportunity to celebrate these. Don't stress yourself much if some haven't happened yet. Just take this time to believe that eventually, everything will fall into place when you're ready. Trust the timing of your life so that you don't become anxious about anything unnecessary.

1.) Your birthday

Please, remember this: you are never too old to celebrate your birthday. You deserve to acknowledge your own existence. Each birthday of yours is reminding you of an important lesson: you matter. You were given a chance to live in this world, to take up space and reach up to whatever age you're meant to. So never let anything or anyone stop you from living a full life. Aging is a beautiful experience. It reminds you of how far you've gone.

2.) Your first love

Love is such a wonderful feeling right? And who doesn't miss that first time that you felt butterflies in your stomach as your heart beat faster at the sight of your first beloved who made you feel like the only person in this world? Even as you age, your first love never dies. And that teaches you a wonderful lesson: to always hold on to hope and love. That no matter what happens, you will always have beautiful memories that will remind you that once in your life, you felt special and that you allowed yourself to listen to your heart and just love. So when the going gets tough, and during days that you feel less attractive or not worthy, remember that once in your life, those thoughts never existed because you chose to see through the eyes of love. And you can do that all over again by choice.

3.) Your first award

Being recognized for what you do (and who you are) can be life changing. So try to remember the first time someone gave you the recognition you deserved, whether it was a simple compliment, a pat on the back, receiving a certificate or trophy and savor that moment. It's an amazing reminder that you are good enough. You have what it takes to succeed and those wins, big or small, are a testament of your greatness. When in doubt, remember how you rose above all the challenges you had before and came out on top.

4.) Your first job and salary

Everyone must start off somewhere. And no matter what your first job is, it's actually serves as a beautiful reminder: that being humble and persistent goes a long way. Still remember how much you were celebrating when you got your first salary? What did you do with it? Notice how it seemed like such a big deal before. Today, if you feel that you're not earning much or you haven't achieved enough, look back when you were starting your career and realize how much you've grown over all in your practice. Should you be unemployed at this time, remember that you only lost a job perhaps, but the skills to land in one, you still have those intact. So don't fret. You're just starting all over again.

5.) Your first born

Unconditional love. That perhaps is the best lesson this celebration of new life is teaching us. That special feeling that you're willing to give your all to this being which was born from love. That's such a beautiful reminder as you grow in harmony with the members of your family, through good times and bad times. It's a lasting promise that you should be willing to keep because remember, at the end of the day, your children will be your legacy. Raise them to be amazing ones with your love.

I hope reminiscing these life celebrations made you smile.

You still have a long way to go to enjoy your life journey as much as you can.

After all, you're on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .

And that's something to celebrate about every single day.

Happy 41st birthday, Self!

Yes, I am now officially 41.

And come to think of it, it's such a beautiful experience to be able to reach this age. I mean growing up, I never had an idea how it would look and feel like. But hey, here I am now, blowing my candle and adding yet another year to my life.

While others become worried as they age, I am actually having a grand time embracing the person that I am becoming: my own #bestmeever . Yes, I truly believe that the best is yet to come.

Thinking about it now, it was definitely a one-of-a-kind roller coaster ride towards becoming the person I am meant to be. I lost count of the number of ups and downs, the twists and turns and everything that happened in between. But hey, I am genuinely grateful for all of them because they all happened for a reason, and the core being is that all those were essential to my learning and growth.

Coming from honesty and humility, I am just so happy that at this point in time, I no longer feel anxious about what the future may bring. There's freedom in trusting myself and the process as I let myself (and things) be.

I have to say, experience indeed is the best teacher. I wouldn't be a credible coach now if I haven't experienced all those in the past 41 years. And today, I would like to share with you the 41 life lessons I learned which molded me into the person that I am now.

Indulge!

1. You can always love yourself more by choice, and it's ok.
2. Whatever you tolerate will eventually take its toll on you. So don't if it doesn't sit well with you.
3. Never keep things to yourself. Speak up. Your personal freedom is more important than the reactions of others.
4. You don't have much time but you can always choose to make the most of what you have.
5. To be different is a gift. Cherish it. Own it.
6. You can be successful and unhappy or struggling yet happy. You have the choice to turn both around.
7. What you truly deserve will always be better than what you initially wanted. Trust in God's plan.
8. Every pain has a purpose. You just have to stop resisting and start seeing things beyond the hardships,
9. Your willingness to invest on yourself is commensurate to your willingness to grow. It's a question of how much are you worth it?
10. You don't ever need to justify the wring doings of others. Allow yourself to feel hurt and acknowledge that space. You don;t have to deny that because you want to save a relationship.
11. You can be independent, empowered and genuinely happy if you allow yourself to live outside of social and personal expectations.
12. Don't minimize your goals based on your experience. Create goals based on what you really want and get enough experience and enlightenment to work on them no matter how big they may seem at first.
13. There's more to life than just working to pay the bills.
14. A seemingly bad ending can actually be a prelude to a beautiful beginning.
15. If you're not happy, then that's not how the story ends yet.
16. Learn to normalize calling people as colleagues, acquaintances or whatever fits them if they're not really your friends.
17. Your happily ever after is not based on a certain age, achievement or person. It's based on what you truly feel within regardless of what you have or don't have.
18. Commitment requires 100%. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve.
19. Love comes unexpectedly. It pays off to always be ready.
20. There is much value in pausing, stopping and starting all over again. They shouldn't be perceived as negative delays.
21. You are worth every risk you are willing to take.
22. For as long as you're happy and healthy, you can become wealthy.
23. Feeling stuck at times can actually be a matter of choice.
24. Your credibility and integrity are priceless. So don't act cheap.
25. Don;t sweat about things that won't matter in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months or 5 years.
26. It's ok to love people from afar.
27. Love is brave and proud. If it's not, then that's not love.
28. There's no limit as to how many times you want to start all over again and reinvent yourself, for as long as you are clear with your goals and objectives.
29. You can't be everything that the world expects you to be but you can always be your best and that's more than enough.
30. Don't let anyone or anything question your genuine happiness. You know better.
31. Struggling at times makes the whole journey even more rewarding.
32. Don't let the people who have hurt you turn you into a person that you are not.
33. You are whole as is. Everyone who comes into your life is just a bonus.
34. Acknowledging your feelings and being truly honest with yourself are superpowers.
35. Everyone needs a coach. But there is a specific coach for someone.
36. It's ok to cut ties. You don't have to stay for the sake of old times, because if things were still the same, then cutting them off wouldn't be an option in the first place. People change. Feelings too. So can you.
37. You don't ever have to pressure yourself to conform just to be liked. You can be a disruptor and be loved.
38. Taking care of yourself, your looks, your mental health and well-being is never optional or dependent on anything or anyone else.
39. It's ok to try and fail than to have a bunch of what if's and what could have been's.
40. You can never be really ready but you can always choose to be brave enough now to at least try.
41. Life goes on. It always does. So can you.

So there you go! I hope these life lessons resonate with you.

I look forward to learning more this year.

Thank you for celebrating my 41st birthday with me.

My heart is full.

Not every story has a happily ever after.

Especially if you choose to stay in a toxic relationship.

I know. It might seem perfect at first.

Meeting (and being with) your dream guy/gal for the first time can seem like a fairy tale that came true.

However, as time goes by, things change. People change. You change.

And so does the relationship you're in.

We can only cross our fingers that everything changes for the better.

But what if it does not?

What if the once sweet, oh-so-perfect relationship turns sour and too toxic, what do you do?

Do you hold on and wait?

Or do you take the next flight out?

Don't get me wrong, there will always be relationships worth fighting for.

However, in my opinion, all parties involved must be willing to work things out.

It can never be just one sided.

And to be candid about it, that's actually one of the many red flags of being in a toxic relationship.

Allow me to share with you the 5 signs you're in a toxic relationship and what you can do there after.

1. You always feel unhappy, guilty, stressed or scared

This. I always believed that any relationship you choose to be in should bring out the best in you and not the worst. Whatever happened to what Disney taught us about having happily ever afters? Keep that in mind. There's no point of settling in a relationship that makes you feel less of a person.

What you can do: Take a step back. Reflect. Where is this coming from? What are you tolerating? What is not working for you? In the process of doing so, always be true to yourself because your honesty will set you free.

2. You're not growing

Feeling stuck? Spending more time doubting yourself than working on your dreams? Your relationships must inspire and help you to grow into the best version of yourself. If not, then think again.

What you can do: Reflect. What or who is stopping you? And why are you letting it happen? Analyze in the process: what's the value of growing at this point in your life that will allow you to commit to it fully? You deserve the growth you envisioned for yourself. Don't let anything or anyone make you think or feel otherwise.

3.) You don't have a voice in the relationship

If you feel that you're always set aside, taken for granted and disrespected time and again, it's time to assess the relationship you're in. It takes two to tango and you don't deserve to just be a back up dancer for the rest of your life.

What you can do: Assert yourself. Be confident and brave enough to speak up. Ask yourself this: what will do you better in the long run, keeping mum about things that don't sit well with you and tolerating how badly you're treated or voicing out your concerns and owning your space so you can grow in harmony with the relationship you chose to be in by playing your part? Never let anyone silence your voice and your rights.

4.) You always have excuses

If you always find yourself justifying your decisions or covering up for your partner or the things that aren't exactly working in your relationship, whether to yourself or to others, then, you might be trying too hard to convince yourself that you're not in a toxic relationship.

What you can do: Inquire within. Why are you coming up with excuses? What do you want to achieve? What is the reality in front of you that you must accept? Remember, you cannot resolve what you continuously deny yourself of, whether it's the truth or the opportunity to see things in a different light.

5.) You don't feel whole

As you are, regardless of who you're with, you should be whole. If you feel broken still and the concept of completeness, despite the presence of another person in your life, is non-existent, it's telling you a lot about the kind of relationship you're in. And yes, it's toxic.

What you can do: Choose to give yourself time and space to heal and be whole again. Again, you can't give what you don't have and if your toxic relationship has drained you, then it's time to fill your cup again. You don't need anyone else's approval to become your own #bestmeever .

After all that's been said and done now, I hope that you realize that you owe it to yourself to be in a relationship that will allow you to become the person you're meant to be.

Beyond your tolerations.

And if you need help re-writing your relationship story, whether with yourself or with others involved, don't lose hope. just message me.

Let's re-create your own happily ever after.

And they lived happily ever after.

Perhaps our favorite line in every fairy tale that we read.

After all, who doesn’t want to have a lasting relationship?

When you’ve found the one, I know that you’ll be more than willing to make things truly work out.

Allow me to share with you these 5 tips to help make your relationship last.

• Check in with each other regularly

In order for a relationship to work, you guys must be on the same page. Don’t ever overlook the importance of reaching out and asking your partner  about his/her needs and wants and allow yourself to share yours as well. Talk openly and honestly. Adjust accordingly there after based on your conversation. Allow yourself to give and receive the kind of love and affection you deserve.

• Spend quality time to grow together

Try new things. Or enjoy doing old ones. Explore and experience together. Never be too busy to be in love with that one person who changed your life. How can you support each other more as you get to know each other better while growing together? Keep that in mind.

• Never let pride get in the way

Don’t let an argument make you forget the beautiful relationship that you have. Have enough time and space to reflect and understand the situation fully. Express your thoughts and apologize if needed. Forgive. Be more than willing to start all over again when you’re ready.

• Express your love freely

Don’t wait for any special occasion to show your love and affection. Make every single day special. Send sweet messages, surprise each other with random gifts. Hold hands. Give tight hugs. Make your partner feel special and remember all the reasons you fell in love with this person from the very beginning. Keep the fire burning.

• Never forget yourself in the relationship

I know that once you get in a relationship the assumption is that it has to be always about you both. But to be honest, that shouldn’t be the case. Allow yourself to have enough time and space and acknowledge your own needs outside the relationship. Become your own #bestmeever and allow your partner to do the same. Trust each other and know that by having that healthy space to grow individually as well, you become the best version of yourselves for each other.

I hope these will help you guys build that happy, stable, lasting relationship that you’ve always wanted.

Time to recreate your own fairy tale now.

For some, work is life.

Like nine-to-five is dedicated solely to what pays the bills.

At times, it goes beyond that as well.

Longer work hours. No holidays.

More time with officemates. More time to build one’s career.

However, in the process of  focusing too much on work for wanting to earn a living, we forget one important thing: 

To live the life we have always wanted.

Take this time to read through this list of 5 things which I believe are far more important than work:

• Your health and well-being

How have you been managing your stress lately? Have you had enough time to actually sit back, relax and pamper yourself? Remember, it’s very important to take care of your overall health, because at the end of the day, if it suffers, working won’t even be possible. Make sure to include exercise, healthy diet,  meditation and other self-care routines in between to allow yourself to always be at the pink of health.

• Your quality time with loved ones

When the going gets tough, trust that your loved ones will never fire you. I doubt it if same goes at work. Haha! What I am just saying is, you also need to spend more time with people who truly matter to you because at the end of the day, long after work is over, they’re the ones by your side, no matter what happens. Working long hours can never compensate for missing out on very important family occasions, personal milestones and the like because those are priceless.

• Your personal growth

So yeah, cool, your work pays the bills and you get to reach the top of the food chain in your career ladder. However, beyond your success, are you really able to pursue what makes your heart fulfilled? Have you really given yourself time to pursue your passion or learn something new? Know that your own #bestmeever is not defined by your work alone.

• Your own happiness

Are you genuinely happy outside of what you do at work? Have you given yourself the permission to just be and experience the best things in life without feeling guilty about your work deadlines? Remember that it’s ok to put yourself as your top priority, simply because if you’re coming from a space of happiness, everything around you will be in alignment -- your work included. Never deprive yourself from the kind of life you truly want and deserve.

• Leaving a mark in the lives of others

Picture this, how would you like others to remember you? Someone who worked long hours or became a CEO of a company? Or someone who helped change their lives and inspired them to be their best? It’s all about allowing yourself to be relevant beyond the walls of your office by reaching out to others and making a difference in their lives. Know that you are never too busy to help and that allows your heart to come from a space of overflow. It helps to be surrounded with like minded people who can empower and inspire you from within.

I hope that you get to work on living the life you’ve always wanted.

Time in now.