It’s ok not to be ok.
My exact space in the last 23 days.
This may come as a surprise for a lot of people because they still saw me working, smiling, coaching and inspiring others to become their best.
However, I told those who were really close to me about my real state then:
That I was tired. Sad. Burned out. Anxious.
Definitely not my own #bestmeever . The irony of it all. Haha!
I wanted to share this with you all to allow you to be comfortable with yourself and how you feel and help you manage your emotions and mental state along the way.
I am just very fortunate that I have a solid support system and I knew how to coach myself in between sessions with my own master coach.
I know though that it may be difficult for others so hopefully this blog post of mine can help you. One small step can make a very big difference in your life now, or in someone else’s who might be in the same dark space at present.
What you’re feeling is valid whether it’s sadness, anger, grief, or whatever it is. . Don’t invalidate it. Remember, the more you resist it, the more it will persist. Come from a space of humility and honesty and allow yourself to feel accordingly. That way you will be able to process your emotions better. Express your emotions accordingly: cry if you must, release your anger (or any other emotion) mindfully.
2. Give yourself a break
More than ever, now is the best time to rest. Don’t feel guilty for giving yourself a break. You can always take responsibility for your actions there after. What is important now is that you don’t force yourself to be highly productive when you’re not your best. You’ll only compromise your output and you’ll feel more frustrated there after. Take a day or two off or even a week. You know yourself better. Just make sure that you endorse everything properly and you explain clearly to all those who will be affected. In my case, I told my clients that I will be coaching remotely by the beach and I will be accepting less sessions in the process so I can have my much-needed time off, one I never did allow myself before when the whole pandemic started, because you guessed it, work calls.
3. Do things you love
I went to the beach because it’s my happy place. I made it a point to consistently do long walks every morning and evening while reflecting and coaching myself in the process. In your case, treat yourself to what makes your heart skip a beat, something outside of your usual routine and one that can make you appreciate yourself and your new space more. What is important here is that you allow yourself to grow in harmony with the present as you gain clarity about what’s causing your emotional and mental turmoil.
4. Talk it out
Don’t be afraid and ashamed to reach out to people whom you trust fully. Have your own support group. In my case, I only told the people who were closest to me and my coach that I wasn’t really in a good space. What I liked was that all of them didn’t try to give me any advice or forced me to have a coaching session immediately. They just told me to take my time off and talk to them when ready. And so I did. That allowed me to be able to feel secured all through out my personal journey, knowing that I am supported and loved accordingly. One thing though: it is advisable that you don’t have your meltdown on social media because at times that becomes a show for others more than just a concern. When at the brink of giving up, reach out. Even to a mental health professional or a coach to help you manage everything better.
5. Journal daily
Write down your thoughts. Whatever they may be. This mental dump will help clear your mind and allow you to unburden yourself in the process and have something to look back at when things finally fall into place eventually after the storm. Feel free to express your emotions accordingly with each thought and recognize breakthroughs and small wins along the way as you celebrate them. I am a firm believer that no matter how bad things may seem at present, there will always be a beautiful silver lining. You just have to be intentional in seeking the good beyond what’s in front of you. Yes, that’s very much possible so that you get to realize how blessed you are to begin with.
I hope these tips help you when you’re feeling down. Remember that’s only temporary.
Because soon, you’ll find yourself in a happier space again.
Been there. Done those. And I am now ok.
Hang on. I got you!
According to an ad by Adidas for their campaign against patronizing fake products:
Fake hurts real.
And I couldn’t agree more.
At times people try to fake things to make them look more appealing, more successful, more ideal.
And in the pursuit of wanting to belong and accepted, they forget that in the long run, faking it does not really allow one to make it.
In fact, at times, faking it can cause one to have a breakdown rather than his/her much wanted breakthrough.
That’s not exactly an ideal space to be caught in.
Because rather than avoiding the real issue by padding on “perfect patches” to create an ideal life, what is key here is to accept one’s self whole and love one’s self fully to be truly empowered from within.
At the end of the day, becoming one’s #bestmeever is all about anchoring one’s self on authenticity and integrity.
Do not ever try to mask your emotions just to get the approval of others or to become someone’s aspirations. Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is a superpower that few people have. Never invalidate how you feel or see yourself as weak when you cry. Know that it takes a whole lot of strength to acknowledge one’s emotions and doing such allows you to process them fully and address what is really needed beyond the fake smiles (or tears). It’s ok not to be ok and you are allowed to cry if needed. Know that people who are really true to you will love and accept you for who and what you are, no matter how you feel.
2. Your credentials
If you didn’t earn it, don’t flaunt it. Never pretend to be an expert in something that you are not. Not only will you be putting yourself in a jeopardy if you fake it, but also, you’ll be endangering those who actually believe in you. Know that greatness takes time and a whole lot of hard work and commitment so don’t short change yourself and others by putting certifications or degrees you never had or claiming a job title that is not backed up by your actual expertise. Allow yourself to take the high road and journey accordingly towards your best, without finding the need to impress others along the way as you focus on yourself and your growth.
3. Your successes
Credit grabbing is a big no-no and don’t ever banner things under your name which have not really happened or that were merely blown up to crazy proportions just to stir interest or gain approval. Stop claiming things you’ve never done, claiming programs you never made or results you never delivered. Again, it’s very important to let your consistent results speak for you instead of bannering false ones. Remember, it’s harder to make up for a reputation that’s tainted versus working hard to achieve the successes you really want for yourself and others.
4. Your associations
Please. Quit telling you know this person or this celebrity or you’re a part of an elite group if you’re really not. Meeting them once or twice does not make them your friend you know, so don’t abuse that word. Know that as much as it’s important to associate yourself with the big wigs, it’s also important to realize that you, as you are, have your own value to uphold outside of that association. Don’t let your credibility depend on the “relationships” you have (no matter how tight or superficial they may be)…build it yourself instead.
5. Your commitments
You are as good as your word. So if you’re merely faking it and giving promises left and right just to get the approval of others without really committing to them fully, then you are compromising your integrity big time. Don’t ever give your word for the sake of. Know that trust can be easily broken and hard to restore and that’s one thing that’s far more important than just looking good temporarily. Each and every time you break your word, you break the chance to build a long, lasting, genuine relationship with others and yourself.
So there, I hope these help you avoid the things that you must not fake to ensure that you breeze through life without the need to justify the lies and actions not in alignment with your authentic self.
Stay true always.
Not every story has a happily ever after.
Especially if you choose to stay in a toxic relationship.
I know. It might seem perfect at first.
Meeting (and being with) your dream guy/gal for the first time can seem like a fairy tale that came true.
However, as time goes by, things change. People change. You change.
And so does the relationship you’re in.
We can only cross our fingers that everything changes for the better.
But what if it does not?
What if the once sweet, oh-so-perfect relationship turns sour and too toxic, what do you do?
Do you hold on and wait?
Or do you take the next flight out?
Don’t get me wrong, there will always be relationships worth fighting for.
However, in my opinion, all parties involved must be willing to work things out.
It can never be just one sided.
And to be candid about it, that’s actually one of the many red flags of being in a toxic relationship.
Allow me to share with you the 5 signs you’re in a toxic relationship and what you can do there after.
This. I always believed that any relationship you choose to be in should bring out the best in you and not the worst. Whatever happened to what Disney taught us about having happily ever afters? Keep that in mind. There’s no point of settling in a relationship that makes you feel less of a person.
What you can do: Take a step back. Reflect. Where is this coming from? What are you tolerating? What is not working for you? In the process of doing so, always be true to yourself because your honesty will set you free.
2. You’re not growing
Feeling stuck? Spending more time doubting yourself than working on your dreams? Your relationships must inspire and help you to grow into the best version of yourself. If not, then think again.
What you can do: Reflect. What or who is stopping you? And why are you letting it happen? Analyze in the process: what’s the value of growing at this point in your life that will allow you to commit to it fully? You deserve the growth you envisioned for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone make you think or feel otherwise.
3.) You don’t have a voice in the relationship
If you feel that you’re always set aside, taken for granted and disrespected time and again, it’s time to assess the relationship you’re in. It takes two to tango and you don’t deserve to just be a back up dancer for the rest of your life.
What you can do: Assert yourself. Be confident and brave enough to speak up. Ask yourself this: what will do you better in the long run, keeping mum about things that don’t sit well with you and tolerating how badly you’re treated or voicing out your concerns and owning your space so you can grow in harmony with the relationship you chose to be in by playing your part? Never let anyone silence your voice and your rights.
4.) You always have excuses
If you always find yourself justifying your decisions or covering up for your partner or the things that aren’t exactly working in your relationship, whether to yourself or to others, then, you might be trying too hard to convince yourself that you’re not in a toxic relationship.
What you can do: Inquire within. Why are you coming up with excuses? What do you want to achieve? What is the reality in front of you that you must accept? Remember, you cannot resolve what you continuously deny yourself of, whether it’s the truth or the opportunity to see things in a different light.
5.) You don’t feel whole
As you are, regardless of who you’re with, you should be whole. If you feel broken still and the concept of completeness, despite the presence of another person in your life, is non-existent, it’s telling you a lot about the kind of relationship you’re in. And yes, it’s toxic.
What you can do: Choose to give yourself time and space to heal and be whole again. Again, you can’t give what you don’t have and if your toxic relationship has drained you, then it’s time to fill your cup again. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to become your own #bestmeever .
After all that’s been said and done now, I hope that you realize that you owe it to yourself to be in a relationship that will allow you to become the person you’re meant to be.
Beyond your tolerations.
And if you need help re-writing your relationship story, whether with yourself or with others involved, don’t lose hope. just message me.
Let’s re-create your own happily ever after.
Fact: No one’s perfect.
So why do we always strive to look flawless in the eyes of others?
I guess it’ safe to say that it’s our ego acting up.
Making us want to look good at all times.
Making us feel insecure at times too.
But in reality, do we really have to embrace perfection as our own standard of happiness and contentment?
Come to think of it.
What’s the worst thing that can happen when you embrace your flaws and imperfections?
Still reflecting?
I hope these tips help you accept your flaws and imperfections better so that in the process you will be able to discover your very own #bestmeever .
Life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns.
That’s a fact.
Because there will be times that life will throw you a curve ball that will catch you off guard.
The thing is, at times, that curve ball can be larger than life.
Too large for you to dodge it.
Before you know it, it hits you hard.
And you find yourself struggling to regain your composure and bring everything back the way they used to be.
But that’s not easy at all.
You see, things don’t always go as planned, no matter how hard you prepared for them.
It’s when things go wrong that you become overwhelmed by the stress and pressure the entire situation brings.
Leading you think: “I want to give up!”
Trust me, I can definitely relate to being in that almost hopeless space.
And it’s not something I (or have others) want to experience again.
1.) Remember that pain and suffering are temporary.
It will pass. It’s just a phase. Allow yourself to come from that space so that you don’t make drastic permanent decisions that you will regret in the long run. What is key here is to try to endure and enjoy the entire journey as you seek for new learnings and opportunities for growth along the way. Ask yourself this: What is this situation teaching me? The beginning is always the hardest but it doesn’t have to be like that all through out the way.
2.) Hold on to your “WHY”
Living your purpose every single day is not always easy. However, it will always be worth it. So when the going gets tough, allow yourself to anchor on your biggest “WHY” and remind yourself all the reasons that got you started in the first place. Try to utilize the same passion and feelings you’ve had before things got rough so that you become unstoppable in the process.
3.) Visualize your desired results.
Sometimes difficult situations distract us from our goal. Take time to pause, calm yourself and visualize your ultimate goal away from the chaos. Be as detailed as possible and allow yourself to feel as if you’ve already achieved it. It’s a beautiful way to inspire yourself to push forward.
4.) Try once more.
There’s no limit in trying or in starting all over again. If you really want it, then give it all you’ve got. Remember, each try brings you closer to your goal. Celebrate wins in between, big or small. Know that regardless of the result, you learn in the process and that allows you to grow to your own #bestmeever .
5.) Surround yourself with inspiration.
Seek support from people you love. Take time to read inspiring stories. Talk to people who have managed to overcome the same challenges you have at present. Fill your mind with positive thoughts. At the end of the day, you can always give yourself the much needed hope you’re looking for.
So now, if you’re reading this and you feel like you’re almost giving up, take this as your sign to do otherwise.
Because you deserve one more try.
Saying NO is such an empowering experience.
Contrary to popular belief, saying NO does not limit you.
In fact, it opens new doors for you as you come from a space of worthiness and self-love.
Because each and every time you say NO to others, you say YES to yourself and your growth.
Allow me to share with you my take on the 5 times you must say NO in your life:
1.) When your life is at risk
This is a no-brainer. Don’t ever put yourself in such a situation that will compromise your safety. No amount of reasoning can be made that will justify you endangering or losing your life in the process. Trust your instincts and keep safe always. In all ways.
2.) When someone disrespects you
You are as worthy and lovable as everyone else. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. Be confident about yourself. Speak up. Take a stand. And don’t allow others to own your space. You are fully deserving of your own, to begin with.
3.) When others dictate the life you must lead
Choose your own course. Pursue your own career. Follow your passion. Be whatever you want to be. That is your right. Don’t let anyone put you inside a box. You’re meant to be free. Keep it that way.
4.) When you are forced to stay in toxic relationships
Any relationship that you choose to have should be able to spark joy and growth. Say NO to those that hinder your growth and make you doubt yourself. Always remember that you have that choice to filter who you allow in your space.
5.) When you’re not your #bestmeever
Allow yourself to rest. To feel. To just be. It’s ok to say NO when you’re not your best. Give yourself enough time and space to reflect and recalibrate. You can always bounce back and start all over again when you’re truly ready.
After reading all these, I look forward to seeing you become comfortable when saying NO to these things happening in your life soon.
Happiness is a matter of choice.
And that’s a fact.
You see, things may not always go as planned and we might find ourselves disappointed in the process once in a while.
However, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a choice to see beyond unfortunate situations.
A lot of times we have read time and again about tips on how to be happy.
However, what we tend to forget is that before we can even make happiness a habit, we must first consider where we associate it.
Let me tell you this now:
Stop associating happiness with things that have yet to come or happen.
Remove the context of attaching happiness to a goal, a person, a new relationship, an event which hasn’t arrived yet.
That’s the only way you can truly appreciate the now and come up with your own happy habits.
So once you’ve made that choice to be fully present in the moment, check out these happy habits you can create so that you always start and end your day with a smile.
It’s actually a continuation of the habits of genuinely happy people list I made before.
Why? because we can always have room for happy habits that make us smile and our hearts, overflow.
1.) Lend a helping hand
No one is too powerless to help others in need. A simple kind gesture can have a big impact on someone else’s life (and yours as well). Never underestimate your own ability to change someone’s life in an instant. Helping out does not always have to be grand always; even the smallest gestures count. What matters is the intention behind and how you can turn that to inspiration to create even bigger impact in the lives of others there after.
2.) Declutter your space
A beautiful space can be quite inspiring. Oftentimes, your space reflects your overall state so make sure that you do away with whatever no longer serves a purpose and keep those which continuously inspire you. Having a clean, well-kept space allows you to focus on what matters most: your well-being, happiness and your goals.
3.) Check in with yourself regularly
Allow yourself to acknowledge how you feel. Dn’t run away from your emotions. Instead, openly embrace them and then work around them there after. By recognizing them, you are able to keep yourself grounded and centered at all times, which helps make you genuinely happy and anxiety free, something that’s very timely amidst the pandemic.
4.) Let go of negative thoughts and grudges
Any form of negativity weighs you down and holds you back from becoming your own #bestmeever . So by consistently allowing yourself to let go of them, you create more space for more beautiful and inspiring things to come into your life as you become the person you’re meant to be.
5.) Amplify your strengths
It’s always such a pleasurable experience doing what you know you’re genuinely good at. Take time to practice every single day and allow yourself to confidently showcase your skills to the rest of the world. Sharing your gifts can help inspire others as well who are struggling with working on theirs.
I hope that these tips can help you build happy habits that work for you.
Looking forward to seeing you become happier in the days to come.
Life Changing.
Best way to describe the COVID19 Pandemic.
And to this day, I still think that’s an understatement.
While in general it is seen as something destructive and evil because of the results it delivered world wide — we tend to forget that underneath them all are silver linings waiting to be discovered.
I have always believed that things happen for a reason and this entire situation is meant to change the way we look at things and ourselves (even life) in general.
Yes, it taught me a whole lot of valuable life lessons which I now take to heart.
1.) Never take anything (or anyone) for granted
In an instant, lives are lost. Many became unemployed. We got locked down. Face masks and face shields became mandatory. With these sudden changes, I got to realize the things I was taking for granted: my freedom, my work, my health…among others. Such an eye opener. So best to show love and appreciation here and now. Make the most of today.
2.) Simple joys are real joys
Appreciate the small things. They bring you true happiness. Bonding with your loved ones. Being able to rest. Working from home. Having food on your table. How many times have we missed their true value? Larger than life if I may say. And priceless.
3.) We always have a choice
How we react or respond to the whole pandemic is a matter of choice. We can either see it as a dead end or as an opportunity to thrive. It’s a matter of allowing ourselves to accept the present scenario whole heartedly as we do away with resitance and grow with the flow instead. At the very least, you reading this now is a testament of your choices made: at the very least, to survive. And that will always be more than enough for now.
4.) Everyone can be a hero
Wherever you are, whatever you do, you can always make a difference during challenging times. No one is too big or too small to help and change lives. It’s all about being empowered within and building that sense of community so that no one gets left behind. And that’s such a beautiful space to be in: alongside people who chose to be the heroes that they truly are.
5.) Life goes on. And it can get better.
Life may not always seem perfect and things may not always happen as planned, but life goes on. And it can only get better when we allow ourselves to grow in harmony with it. It’s all about choosing to maximize each and every single day so that no matter what happens, we will have no regrets. These detours will lead us to beautiful destinations, one of which is towards our own #bestmeever .
There you go. So in your case, what has the whole COVID19 Pandemic taught you? Looking forward to hearing the lessons you’ve learned along the way.
The only limitations that we have are the ones we put (and allow) on ourselves.
Come to think of it, that’s quite true.
Know that the life that we have, is not a result entirely of everything that happened to us.
Rather, it’s a result of how we chose to respond or react to all our experiences.
Admittedly though, there will be times when life seems unfair and at times it will throw us a curve ball that will make us feel overwhelmed and go off-track.
It is during those times that we feel stuck, lost and unproductive, thinking that progress is no where in sight and that it was the rest of the world’s fault, and never ours.
However, truth be told, we have everything it takes to keep going. To keep moving on and forward.
1.) Face your fears
Think about this: what can be the worst thing that can happen if you actually face whatever scares you most? And what’s the best thing that can happen if you do? Remember, the only way you can validate if one thing that scares you is really true or not is when you actually try and take that risk. And more often than not, you’ll find yourself thinking why you haven’t done it before, there after simply because whatever lies beyond fear has something to do with your growth.
2.) Remember your past successes
You’ve done it before. Whether it’s embarking on a new journey, starting all over again, having a new venture or overcoming obstacles, you have proven to yourself (and others) time and again that you have what it takes to really succeed. So trust yourself more and give yourself more credit when it comes to your ability to push forward. Your previous results can vouch for you.
3.) Do away with the distractions
I always share this to all my coachees and mentees: when it does not help you grow, let go. Simplify everything. Stop over thinking and just start focusing on what matters most: your happiness, your goals and your genuine fulfilment. Indulge guilt-free instead on self love and self care and always ensure that your whole well-being is at tip top shape, because at the end of the day, you have to focus on your most important investment in this journey: yourself.
4.) Be grateful for your progress
Every time you act in alignment with your greatest goals, whether it’s all about starting on a task, pausing to reflect or ending a toxic relationship that does not serve you well anymore…celebrate. Acknowledge that you are doing the best that you can with all that you have and that will always be more than enough.
5.) Surround yourself with inspiration
Whether you choose to embrace the love and support from your family and friends or take inspiration from random people, things and events in your every day life, what matters is that you keep each one in mind when the going gets tough. Hold on to your own “WHY” and always remember why you started. This will help you focus on the long and winding road ahead with a smile.
I hope these help you become unstoppable as you become the person you’re meant to be.
I am rooting for you.
Fact: It’s not easy to step out of our comfort zone.
Also a fact: It will always be worth it.
Because as they say, growth is found outside of your comfort zone.
However, most of the time, we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by negative emotions brought about by the uncertainty that lies ahead.
What we fail to recognize in the process is that the uncertainty also brings about beautiful possibilities only if we choose to embrace the entire situation whole heartedly.
I remember the time when I was still starting as a professional life coach, after turning my back on a lucrative advertising and marketing career that lasted for 15 years, simply because I was no longer happy anymore after reaching my peak.
Back then, admittedly I was also scared and anxious, not knowing where my new calling will take me or how far I’ll go. What kept me going was that I held on to my purpose, which was to speak to inspire – and allowed it to motivate me all through out my journey towards becoming the Global Master Coach that I am now.
A lot of ups and downs along the way but hey, I wouldn’t have had it in any other way.
Life is too short to just settle in a space that no longer supports your happiness and growth. Visualize clearly what you want and paint that image vividly on your mind every single day because that will keep you going. Eyes on the prize always. I totally believe that if you truly want something, you’ll find a way to achieve it, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.
Each and every time you overthink, you cripple yourself with a bunch of fears and assumptions. Take that life changing first step instead. That’s actually the hardest part: to commit to starting. However, when you’ve finally decided fully and you have taken that first step outside of your comfort zone, there’s no where else to go but on and forward towards your own #bestmeever .
It may be a leap of faith for you as you embark on this new journey of yours but remember not to hurry and allow yourself to grow at your own pace. Instead of making big, drastic steps to hasten the process of pursuing your goals, focus on doing small, consistent ones and build up on them gradually. Don’t forget to be grateful along the way so that regardless of what happens in between, you will never feel that you lack anything.
Now this is tricky but very much possible. This can be done by seeing each and every experience as a wonderful opportunity to grow. When you change your perspective from being resentful to being open and optimistic, you allow yourself to thrive amidst the uncertainty that surrounds you at present. Remember, the key here is to listen to yourself mindfully: rest if you must, allow yourself to feel, celebrate wins in between, focus on what went right along the way and start all over again when ready.
As you step outside of your comfort zone, be sure to journey alongside people who genuinely believe in you and who help bring out the best In you. Having someone (or a bunch of people) cheer you on makes even the most difficult journey bearable. Just be sure to acknowledge them along the way and never forget that at the end of the day, apart from them, you should also be your own biggest fan.
I hope these inspire you to take that first step outside of your comfort zone simply because you are worth that risk and you definitely have what it takes to thrive thereafter.
