It’s ok not to be ok.
My exact space in the last 23 days.
This may come as a surprise for a lot of people because they still saw me working, smiling, coaching and inspiring others to become their best.
However, I told those who were really close to me about my real state then:
That I was tired. Sad. Burned out. Anxious.
Definitely not my own #bestmeever . The irony of it all. Haha!
I wanted to share this with you all to allow you to be comfortable with yourself and how you feel and help you manage your emotions and mental state along the way.
I am just very fortunate that I have a solid support system and I knew how to coach myself in between sessions with my own master coach.
I know though that it may be difficult for others so hopefully this blog post of mine can help you. One small step can make a very big difference in your life now, or in someone else’s who might be in the same dark space at present.
What you’re feeling is valid whether it’s sadness, anger, grief, or whatever it is. . Don’t invalidate it. Remember, the more you resist it, the more it will persist. Come from a space of humility and honesty and allow yourself to feel accordingly. That way you will be able to process your emotions better. Express your emotions accordingly: cry if you must, release your anger (or any other emotion) mindfully.
2. Give yourself a break
More than ever, now is the best time to rest. Don’t feel guilty for giving yourself a break. You can always take responsibility for your actions there after. What is important now is that you don’t force yourself to be highly productive when you’re not your best. You’ll only compromise your output and you’ll feel more frustrated there after. Take a day or two off or even a week. You know yourself better. Just make sure that you endorse everything properly and you explain clearly to all those who will be affected. In my case, I told my clients that I will be coaching remotely by the beach and I will be accepting less sessions in the process so I can have my much-needed time off, one I never did allow myself before when the whole pandemic started, because you guessed it, work calls.
3. Do things you love
I went to the beach because it’s my happy place. I made it a point to consistently do long walks every morning and evening while reflecting and coaching myself in the process. In your case, treat yourself to what makes your heart skip a beat, something outside of your usual routine and one that can make you appreciate yourself and your new space more. What is important here is that you allow yourself to grow in harmony with the present as you gain clarity about what’s causing your emotional and mental turmoil.
4. Talk it out
Don’t be afraid and ashamed to reach out to people whom you trust fully. Have your own support group. In my case, I only told the people who were closest to me and my coach that I wasn’t really in a good space. What I liked was that all of them didn’t try to give me any advice or forced me to have a coaching session immediately. They just told me to take my time off and talk to them when ready. And so I did. That allowed me to be able to feel secured all through out my personal journey, knowing that I am supported and loved accordingly. One thing though: it is advisable that you don’t have your meltdown on social media because at times that becomes a show for others more than just a concern. When at the brink of giving up, reach out. Even to a mental health professional or a coach to help you manage everything better.
5. Journal daily
Write down your thoughts. Whatever they may be. This mental dump will help clear your mind and allow you to unburden yourself in the process and have something to look back at when things finally fall into place eventually after the storm. Feel free to express your emotions accordingly with each thought and recognize breakthroughs and small wins along the way as you celebrate them. I am a firm believer that no matter how bad things may seem at present, there will always be a beautiful silver lining. You just have to be intentional in seeking the good beyond what’s in front of you. Yes, that’s very much possible so that you get to realize how blessed you are to begin with.
I hope these tips help you when you’re feeling down. Remember that’s only temporary.
Because soon, you’ll find yourself in a happier space again.
Been there. Done those. And I am now ok.
Hang on. I got you!
According to an ad by Adidas for their campaign against patronizing fake products:
Fake hurts real.
And I couldn’t agree more.
At times people try to fake things to make them look more appealing, more successful, more ideal.
And in the pursuit of wanting to belong and accepted, they forget that in the long run, faking it does not really allow one to make it.
In fact, at times, faking it can cause one to have a breakdown rather than his/her much wanted breakthrough.
That’s not exactly an ideal space to be caught in.
Because rather than avoiding the real issue by padding on “perfect patches” to create an ideal life, what is key here is to accept one’s self whole and love one’s self fully to be truly empowered from within.
At the end of the day, becoming one’s #bestmeever is all about anchoring one’s self on authenticity and integrity.
Do not ever try to mask your emotions just to get the approval of others or to become someone’s aspirations. Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is a superpower that few people have. Never invalidate how you feel or see yourself as weak when you cry. Know that it takes a whole lot of strength to acknowledge one’s emotions and doing such allows you to process them fully and address what is really needed beyond the fake smiles (or tears). It’s ok not to be ok and you are allowed to cry if needed. Know that people who are really true to you will love and accept you for who and what you are, no matter how you feel.
2. Your credentials
If you didn’t earn it, don’t flaunt it. Never pretend to be an expert in something that you are not. Not only will you be putting yourself in a jeopardy if you fake it, but also, you’ll be endangering those who actually believe in you. Know that greatness takes time and a whole lot of hard work and commitment so don’t short change yourself and others by putting certifications or degrees you never had or claiming a job title that is not backed up by your actual expertise. Allow yourself to take the high road and journey accordingly towards your best, without finding the need to impress others along the way as you focus on yourself and your growth.
3. Your successes
Credit grabbing is a big no-no and don’t ever banner things under your name which have not really happened or that were merely blown up to crazy proportions just to stir interest or gain approval. Stop claiming things you’ve never done, claiming programs you never made or results you never delivered. Again, it’s very important to let your consistent results speak for you instead of bannering false ones. Remember, it’s harder to make up for a reputation that’s tainted versus working hard to achieve the successes you really want for yourself and others.
4. Your associations
Please. Quit telling you know this person or this celebrity or you’re a part of an elite group if you’re really not. Meeting them once or twice does not make them your friend you know, so don’t abuse that word. Know that as much as it’s important to associate yourself with the big wigs, it’s also important to realize that you, as you are, have your own value to uphold outside of that association. Don’t let your credibility depend on the “relationships” you have (no matter how tight or superficial they may be)…build it yourself instead.
5. Your commitments
You are as good as your word. So if you’re merely faking it and giving promises left and right just to get the approval of others without really committing to them fully, then you are compromising your integrity big time. Don’t ever give your word for the sake of. Know that trust can be easily broken and hard to restore and that’s one thing that’s far more important than just looking good temporarily. Each and every time you break your word, you break the chance to build a long, lasting, genuine relationship with others and yourself.
So there, I hope these help you avoid the things that you must not fake to ensure that you breeze through life without the need to justify the lies and actions not in alignment with your authentic self.
Stay true always.
Not every story has a happily ever after.
Especially if you choose to stay in a toxic relationship.
I know. It might seem perfect at first.
Meeting (and being with) your dream guy/gal for the first time can seem like a fairy tale that came true.
However, as time goes by, things change. People change. You change.
And so does the relationship you’re in.
We can only cross our fingers that everything changes for the better.
But what if it does not?
What if the once sweet, oh-so-perfect relationship turns sour and too toxic, what do you do?
Do you hold on and wait?
Or do you take the next flight out?
Don’t get me wrong, there will always be relationships worth fighting for.
However, in my opinion, all parties involved must be willing to work things out.
It can never be just one sided.
And to be candid about it, that’s actually one of the many red flags of being in a toxic relationship.
Allow me to share with you the 5 signs you’re in a toxic relationship and what you can do there after.
This. I always believed that any relationship you choose to be in should bring out the best in you and not the worst. Whatever happened to what Disney taught us about having happily ever afters? Keep that in mind. There’s no point of settling in a relationship that makes you feel less of a person.
What you can do: Take a step back. Reflect. Where is this coming from? What are you tolerating? What is not working for you? In the process of doing so, always be true to yourself because your honesty will set you free.
2. You’re not growing
Feeling stuck? Spending more time doubting yourself than working on your dreams? Your relationships must inspire and help you to grow into the best version of yourself. If not, then think again.
What you can do: Reflect. What or who is stopping you? And why are you letting it happen? Analyze in the process: what’s the value of growing at this point in your life that will allow you to commit to it fully? You deserve the growth you envisioned for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone make you think or feel otherwise.
3.) You don’t have a voice in the relationship
If you feel that you’re always set aside, taken for granted and disrespected time and again, it’s time to assess the relationship you’re in. It takes two to tango and you don’t deserve to just be a back up dancer for the rest of your life.
What you can do: Assert yourself. Be confident and brave enough to speak up. Ask yourself this: what will do you better in the long run, keeping mum about things that don’t sit well with you and tolerating how badly you’re treated or voicing out your concerns and owning your space so you can grow in harmony with the relationship you chose to be in by playing your part? Never let anyone silence your voice and your rights.
4.) You always have excuses
If you always find yourself justifying your decisions or covering up for your partner or the things that aren’t exactly working in your relationship, whether to yourself or to others, then, you might be trying too hard to convince yourself that you’re not in a toxic relationship.
What you can do: Inquire within. Why are you coming up with excuses? What do you want to achieve? What is the reality in front of you that you must accept? Remember, you cannot resolve what you continuously deny yourself of, whether it’s the truth or the opportunity to see things in a different light.
5.) You don’t feel whole
As you are, regardless of who you’re with, you should be whole. If you feel broken still and the concept of completeness, despite the presence of another person in your life, is non-existent, it’s telling you a lot about the kind of relationship you’re in. And yes, it’s toxic.
What you can do: Choose to give yourself time and space to heal and be whole again. Again, you can’t give what you don’t have and if your toxic relationship has drained you, then it’s time to fill your cup again. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to become your own #bestmeever .
After all that’s been said and done now, I hope that you realize that you owe it to yourself to be in a relationship that will allow you to become the person you’re meant to be.
Beyond your tolerations.
And if you need help re-writing your relationship story, whether with yourself or with others involved, don’t lose hope. just message me.
Let’s re-create your own happily ever after.
Happiness is a matter of choice.
And that’s a fact.
You see, things may not always go as planned and we might find ourselves disappointed in the process once in a while.
However, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a choice to see beyond unfortunate situations.
A lot of times we have read time and again about tips on how to be happy.
However, what we tend to forget is that before we can even make happiness a habit, we must first consider where we associate it.
Let me tell you this now:
Stop associating happiness with things that have yet to come or happen.
Remove the context of attaching happiness to a goal, a person, a new relationship, an event which hasn’t arrived yet.
That’s the only way you can truly appreciate the now and come up with your own happy habits.
So once you’ve made that choice to be fully present in the moment, check out these happy habits you can create so that you always start and end your day with a smile.
It’s actually a continuation of the habits of genuinely happy people list I made before.
Why? because we can always have room for happy habits that make us smile and our hearts, overflow.
1.) Lend a helping hand
No one is too powerless to help others in need. A simple kind gesture can have a big impact on someone else’s life (and yours as well). Never underestimate your own ability to change someone’s life in an instant. Helping out does not always have to be grand always; even the smallest gestures count. What matters is the intention behind and how you can turn that to inspiration to create even bigger impact in the lives of others there after.
2.) Declutter your space
A beautiful space can be quite inspiring. Oftentimes, your space reflects your overall state so make sure that you do away with whatever no longer serves a purpose and keep those which continuously inspire you. Having a clean, well-kept space allows you to focus on what matters most: your well-being, happiness and your goals.
3.) Check in with yourself regularly
Allow yourself to acknowledge how you feel. Dn’t run away from your emotions. Instead, openly embrace them and then work around them there after. By recognizing them, you are able to keep yourself grounded and centered at all times, which helps make you genuinely happy and anxiety free, something that’s very timely amidst the pandemic.
4.) Let go of negative thoughts and grudges
Any form of negativity weighs you down and holds you back from becoming your own #bestmeever . So by consistently allowing yourself to let go of them, you create more space for more beautiful and inspiring things to come into your life as you become the person you’re meant to be.
5.) Amplify your strengths
It’s always such a pleasurable experience doing what you know you’re genuinely good at. Take time to practice every single day and allow yourself to confidently showcase your skills to the rest of the world. Sharing your gifts can help inspire others as well who are struggling with working on theirs.
I hope that these tips can help you build happy habits that work for you.
Looking forward to seeing you become happier in the days to come.
Don’t quit.
Oftentimes we are told that we have to fight long and hard for what we believe is worth it.
May it be a relationship, a career or whatever else we feel that used to make us feel happy, complete and fulfilled.
However, we must also bear in mind that people change. Things and situations, too.
So sometimes, our vision of a happily ever after gets distorted in the process.
And believing in fairy tales made us hold on and fight harder, until we get what we want.
However, what if it wasn’t meant to go that way?
Would letting go be an option?
At the end of the day, you can only do so much.
So allow me to share with you 5 signs that are telling you that it’s finally time to let go.
You are as important as anyone else. Don’t ever let your relationship or career make you forget who you really are and what you are meant to become. You owe it to yourself, as you give yourself the happiness you deserve. Don’t let anything or anyone disrespect you and make you doubt your worth.
If you are always in a constant struggle, fighting over even the littlest things, then maybe it’s time to reconsider. A toxic relationship or environment can never support your growth so why waste your time, energy and resources fighting just to survive? Choose to thrive there after, even if it means stepping outside of that toxic space.
If you have to continuously justify and convince yourself that something (or someone) is worth keeping, then take it as a red flag. It only means that you’re trying too hard to make things right (or at least make them appear fine) even if time and again you are left hurt, sad and completely broken by the very person (or career) you tried to protect.
Allow yourself to walk away if you have already given your all, your best at all times and yet nothing seems to really change. If you’re still subjected to lies, abuse or feeling inferior and unworthy time and again despite everything you’ve sacrificed just for you to stay, honey, take it from me: give yourself the respect and enough credit to just walk away. No more explanations needed.
If you are forced to compromise your values, do things against your will, commit self-harm or indulge in risky behavior that you’re not exactly accustomed to, then it’s time to take a step back (and away) from your current space. Nothing that brings out the worse in you can be worth it.
At the end of the day, remember that letting go does not always mean the end of something.
It can also signify the beginning of something far more beautiful than you have ever imagined.
Just trust yourself and the process more.
You’ll make it through.
As you become your own #bestmeever .
The only limitations that we have are the ones we put (and allow) on ourselves.
Come to think of it, that’s quite true.
Know that the life that we have, is not a result entirely of everything that happened to us.
Rather, it’s a result of how we chose to respond or react to all our experiences.
Admittedly though, there will be times when life seems unfair and at times it will throw us a curve ball that will make us feel overwhelmed and go off-track.
It is during those times that we feel stuck, lost and unproductive, thinking that progress is no where in sight and that it was the rest of the world’s fault, and never ours.
However, truth be told, we have everything it takes to keep going. To keep moving on and forward.
1.) Face your fears
Think about this: what can be the worst thing that can happen if you actually face whatever scares you most? And what’s the best thing that can happen if you do? Remember, the only way you can validate if one thing that scares you is really true or not is when you actually try and take that risk. And more often than not, you’ll find yourself thinking why you haven’t done it before, there after simply because whatever lies beyond fear has something to do with your growth.
2.) Remember your past successes
You’ve done it before. Whether it’s embarking on a new journey, starting all over again, having a new venture or overcoming obstacles, you have proven to yourself (and others) time and again that you have what it takes to really succeed. So trust yourself more and give yourself more credit when it comes to your ability to push forward. Your previous results can vouch for you.
3.) Do away with the distractions
I always share this to all my coachees and mentees: when it does not help you grow, let go. Simplify everything. Stop over thinking and just start focusing on what matters most: your happiness, your goals and your genuine fulfilment. Indulge guilt-free instead on self love and self care and always ensure that your whole well-being is at tip top shape, because at the end of the day, you have to focus on your most important investment in this journey: yourself.
4.) Be grateful for your progress
Every time you act in alignment with your greatest goals, whether it’s all about starting on a task, pausing to reflect or ending a toxic relationship that does not serve you well anymore…celebrate. Acknowledge that you are doing the best that you can with all that you have and that will always be more than enough.
5.) Surround yourself with inspiration
Whether you choose to embrace the love and support from your family and friends or take inspiration from random people, things and events in your every day life, what matters is that you keep each one in mind when the going gets tough. Hold on to your own “WHY” and always remember why you started. This will help you focus on the long and winding road ahead with a smile.
I hope these help you become unstoppable as you become the person you’re meant to be.
I am rooting for you.
Fact: You can’t be too ambitious if you’re 100% committed to your success.
Pursuing your biggest dreams isn’t that easy always.
Admittedly, there are a lot of challenges and struggles before you reach your goals.
Take it from me who was told time and again by a lot of people (seriously, I lost count) when I was starting my career from scratch that going global as a professional coach and as an author “was too big of a dream”.
For others yes.
But for me, it was worth the try.
However, what I realized was that you don’t have to stress yourself out and become too anxious in the process of fulfilling your ambition.
And yes, depression and success don’t necessary have to go hand in hand.
The solution though is not to minimize your goals, but rather, empower yourself to become bigger than your worse fears and anxieties.
Your biggest “WHY” will keep you grounded when the going gets tough. Always be inspired by that life changing reason that made you decide to embark on your awesome journey towards becoming the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
The more you resist, the more it persists. So be open to changes, challenges and a whole lot of uncertainties in between. Instead of resisting your journey, embrace it fully and ask yourself what you can learn from each and every experience that you encounter along the way.
Ok, repeat this after me: “I am doing perfectly well.” Celebrate small wins because they are beautiful reminders that you’re getting closer to where you want to be. Whether it’s getting a random compliment, learning a new skill or simply making it through a difficult day, give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it for stepping up and pursuing your own biggest dreams. Not everyone can do that and that gives you another reason to celebrate. Affirm yourself as often as possible.
Like seriously: comparing yourself with others is one of the biggest causes of anxiety. So please stop. Do yourself a favor and focus on yourself and your own growth. Do what you must, give your best always and stay committed to the results you want to achieve. Eyes on the prize, always.
Find your happy space. Be with people who make you feel loved and supported. Read about the inspiring stories of your role models. Look back gratefully at how far you’ve gone since you’ve started and recognize how much you’ve grown in the process. Create an environment that will help you thrive and make you realize that you don’t have to worry about what lies ahead. You got this!
There you go. I hope these inspire you to follow your heart as you pursue your biggest dreams.
You deserve it.
And they lived happily ever after.
Perhaps our favorite line in every fairy tale that we read.
After all, who doesn’t want to have a lasting relationship?
When you’ve found the one, I know that you’ll be more than willing to make things truly work out.
Allow me to share with you these 5 tips to help make your relationship last.
In order for a relationship to work, you guys must be on the same page. Don’t ever overlook the importance of reaching out and asking your partner about his/her needs and wants and allow yourself to share yours as well. Talk openly and honestly. Adjust accordingly there after based on your conversation. Allow yourself to give and receive the kind of love and affection you deserve.
Try new things. Or enjoy doing old ones. Explore and experience together. Never be too busy to be in love with that one person who changed your life. How can you support each other more as you get to know each other better while growing together? Keep that in mind.
Don’t let an argument make you forget the beautiful relationship that you have. Have enough time and space to reflect and understand the situation fully. Express your thoughts and apologize if needed. Forgive. Be more than willing to start all over again when you’re ready.
Don’t wait for any special occasion to show your love and affection. Make every single day special. Send sweet messages, surprise each other with random gifts. Hold hands. Give tight hugs. Make your partner feel special and remember all the reasons you fell in love with this person from the very beginning. Keep the fire burning.
I know that once you get in a relationship the assumption is that it has to be always about you both. But to be honest, that shouldn’t be the case. Allow yourself to have enough time and space and acknowledge your own needs outside the relationship. Become your own #bestmeever and allow your partner to do the same. Trust each other and know that by having that healthy space to grow individually as well, you become the best version of yourselves for each other.
I hope these will help you guys build that happy, stable, lasting relationship that you’ve always wanted.
Time to recreate your own fairy tale now.
Fact: We all want to become our own #bestmeever
The thing is though, it takes a whole lot of work, commitment, trust and love to journey within.
To heal from the past, accept the now and gain clarity of our biggest visions in life as we discover self-empowerment takes time (and effort, mind you).
In some cases though, it takes longer for others because of these things that prevent them from having a smooth journey towards their best.
Ok, your journey, is yours alone. It’s totally different from anyone else’s in this planet. So every time you compare (and contrast) your progress with that of others, you allow yourself to get distracted. In the end, no matter how your journey goes, know that it’s meant to teach you important lessons so you can own your best version eventually.
2. Stressing over the little things
No journey is perfect. And guess what? The little bumps along the way make each one even more exciting. So stop sweating over the small stuff. It’s a waste of time and energy. I mean details matter and all and it wouldn’t hurt to double check along the way. However, in the event that there are unforeseen circumstances where things don’t go as planned, if it’s not life changing, just take a deep breath and let go. Nothing is worth more than your inner peace.
3. Expectations
Never attach your own happiness to mere expectations. Instead of conditioning yourself that you will be happy when you achieve this and that, why not try to be happy in the now, with all things as is, as you are. There are so many things to be grateful and happy about at present so allow yourself to grow in harmony with the now.
4. Pleasing others too much
You are not every one’s servant at their beck and call so stop thinking and acting like one. Remember, you also have the obligation to take care of yourself and give yourself what is due. So start saying ‘NO’ to others so you can say ‘YES’ more to yourself and your growth. At the end of the day, even if you don’t get the nod of others, the best person to please will always be yourself. And that will always be more than enough.
5. Putting yourself last
Making yourself a priority is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. There’s totally nothing wrong about considering your own needs and wants. Remember, taking care of yourself first will also allow you to take care of others more eventually. It has to start from you though as you give yourself the love and affection that you willingly give to others. How can you give what you don’t have? Self-empowerment comes first my dear.
I hope this list will help you catch yourself as you journey towards your best.
I look forward to seeing your own #bestmeever unfold soon.
On the first session of my mentoring program exclusive for coaches, I normally ask them to introduce themselves and tell me what they do. More often than not, I would get the same answer: I am (name here) and I am a (whatever kind of coach). I would follow up with what differentiates you from the other coaches in your category? Why would people want to hire you as their coach?
Cue in nervous giggles and awkward silence there after. But you know what, it’s ok not to know your brand yet as a coach when you’re just starting. Because branding takes time. Building it takes a whole lot of love, work and commitment. Living it, even more.
So be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grow in harmony with your journey towards becoming the coach you’re meant to be. In the process, allow me to share with you some things to consider when building your brand as a coach.
Branding is an inside job. Of course we all grew up admiring industry greats: their journey, their success, their brand. But then again, consider this: that’s them. And you’re totally different. And that’s ok. So allow yourself to be inspired by them but make that conscious effort to inquire within. Ask yourself these questions: Who am I? What would I want to be known for? What am I really good at as a coach? Allow yourself to come from a space of honesty and humility as you answer.
Have a clear, powerful key message. Your brand should clearly represent something of value to your target market. Come up with something positive and true. Allow your advocacy to resonate with your intended audience. It’s also best if you are able to craft a communication campaign that will showcase your brand’s benefit altogether. Yup, being cohesive and consistent is key.
Identify your niche market. I always say this to my mentees: you cannot be everyone’s coach. Your experience, story and expertise will resonate well with a specific target market. Go in depth with profiling your intended market. Who are they? What do they do? Where are they from? What are their pain points? What makes you the most effective coach for them? What influences their decisions? Needs? Wants? Create a clear picture of who you want (and can) coach effectively. Then align your messaging to them.
Own your style. Over all presentation and messaging matters e.g. what you say, what you do, how you project your image, etc. How would you sound? What would be the differentiation? How will the market know it’s you? What powerful associations can you create with your brand? Make sure that it’s something that you are comfortable with, authentic and memorable.
Maximize your platforms. After knowing your target market, choose the best platform for you to be able to reach them. Mix and match. Allow your presence to grow across multimedia. Remember to choose the ones you will be comfortable with as it is very important to create an impression of being an authority figure in what you do.
I hope these help. Looking forward to seeing you grow your brand as a coach.
Need help in creating your coaching brand and launching it? Book me via calednly.com/coach-myke-celis .
