Fact: Work is not life.
But that doesn’t mean you have to take whatever job you have just to pay the bills.
With the exception of those undergoing much financial stress and left with no option, of course.
I mean seriously, how do you find the job you have now?
I want you guys to reflect:
How’s the job you have now? The environment you’re working in? The perks?
Come from a space of honesty and realize by doing so, you allow yourself to acknowledge what you need to act on and how to go about the next steps there after.
And no, this is not a call for you to resign or quietly quit. So please tell your boss and the HR not to blame me. Haha!
This is your sign to just assess the space you’re in and give yourself what is due: the recognition of your own needs and wants and how your present job fits in.
Admittedly though, it’s not easy to start from scratch. Take it from me who gave up a lucrative but highly successful career in advertising and marketing after 15 years to pursue professional coaching full time. It was indeed a humbling journey.
However, truth be told, it was all worth it.
Because for me, coaching full time is far more rewarding as I help people from all over the world discover and become their own #bestmeever, working wherever and whenever I wanted, compared to just staying inside the four walls of my corner office while building brands and waiting for the clock to strike 5 or sometimes even until overtime work is done.
Before you even go to it, please remember that “I’m OK” is not synonymous to being genuinely happy. Being genuinely happy means waking up inspired each day to go to work, enjoying the company of people around you, seeing the silver linings in adversity while being grateful for the growth your job provides you. It also means being content in your space because what you do, where you are and who you work with makes your heart smile daily.
2. Am I able to maximize all my skills and potentials?
Your skills and talents are gifts. Use them to your advantage, in order for you to grow and change lives there after. Are you able to do that in your current space? Are you given key opportunities to showcase what you can do and be empowered to go beyond your limits? Remember: you can only grow as much as you allow yourself to….and as much as your chosen space lets you. Think about that.
3. What does my current job have to do with my life purpose?
Living your purpose each and every single day means having a job that can bring you closer to your long term goals. Inquire within: what do you think are you meant to do in life? How is your job related to that? Change what you must but never give up on what you feel you’re truly meant to be. You have a unique purpose in this life time. Live it.
4. What’s my biggest “What if….” in terms of my career?
Do you experience having that nagging question inside your head? Do you keep on asking yourself how things could have been so different had you taken a different job offer or pursued a new career altogether? As you age, you begin to realize that it’s more important to tick off items in your bucket list than just settle for the sake of. So at this point in time, what would you really, really want to tick off? Just be honest.
5. What job won”t be a “job” for me?
I always ask this question: if there was one thing that you would like to do, over and over again, even if you’re not paid, what will it be? That’s your dream job, no matter what that may look like. However, it takes a whole lot of honesty to accept that, accountability to pursue it and commitment to make it truly happen just the way you envisioned it. The good thing though: hard as it may seem, it will always be worth it to have a job that gives you the most happiness, peace and fulfillment.
I know by this time you are probably in deep thoughts about your current job and space.
Don’t hurry. Let everything sink in and take your time to think about what’s next for you.
Because whatever it may be, you will always know what’s best for you.
“You’re so brave.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“I can’t do that.”
Believe me, I lost count of the number of times I have heard these from those who watched me online, on-air or on-site after giving my talk, doing an interview or sharing bits and pieces about myself during workshops.
It didn’t take me long to realize that being vulnerable isn’t exactly easy for a lot of people apparently.
It’s actually a make or break moment for them.
I mean, come to think of it, who would want to pour his/her heart out, complete with all those heightened emotions he/she tried so hard to hold or fight back, in the presence of many discriminating eyes?
I doubt it if there will be any volunteer at all though. Well, unless I was part of the crowd, maybe I would.
But don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t always that way.
In fact, much like others, I was afraid to show my true emotions, thinking that if I cry or if I share my deepest secrets, others will think that I was weak and they can eventually use what they learned against me when the time calls for it.
Me and my false, assuming narratives to keep myself safe.
Good save there, Myke! Haha!
To be candid, I had that very thought when I posted my advocacy campaign video as one of the finalists for the 2024 Pinoy Mavericks Awards of CIMB Bank Philippines the other day.
I mean, I practically bared my heart and soul there as I told my story about overcoming adversity, which you can see in my Instagram, Facebook and TikTok account. Oh while you’re at it, feel free to spread some love via like, share or comment. And that was a smooth promotion! Haha!
Initially before uploading it, I was thinking what will be the reaction of the people around me but shortly after, upon remembering my purpose of why I wanted to share my story, I just did and got such a warm reception from the public, which greatly helped wash the worries away.
What I am saying is that all misconceptions I had about being vulnerable were merely fabricated by previous experiences while growing up, stories from other people and how social media and society presented it in a bad light.
And that awareness gave me such a liberating experience, which I hope to impart to you guys now.
Seriously, the first step to allowing yourself to be vulnerable is to recognize and accept what really is your truth. Fact: lying makes you feel uncomfortable and you don’t even want to go that direction because that defeats the very concept of vulnerability, which focuses on being able to express yourself as you are, whatever you’re feeling or undergoing as of the moment. To know your truth, try this out: upon waking up, look at yourself in the mirror and embrace the person that you are, minus any idea of what you do or how others perceive you. That’s an eye opening moment indeed. Remember; nothing to fear when you’re holding the truth. It’s never about the reactions of others; it’s about you. And only you.
2. Check on your intentions
Ok. you just can’t be vulnerable for the sake of. Vulnerability isn’t about wanting to stir up drama or just having something to talk about during downtime. It’s about wanting to build relationships and inspire others to work on themselves and whatever they’re going through as you allow yourself to be seen, heard and felt too. Best to reflect on: what do I want to achieve in being vulnerable? Start from there.
3. Prepare yourself fully
Are you in the right state of mind, body and heart? Have you thought about what you’re going to say? Are there no heightened emotions present that can stir up impulsive reactions or behaviors? Are you ready to embrace the consequences of your actions, if any? These are just some of the things you should ask yourself to prepare you for this tell-all experience. Take your time. Don’t pressure yourself nor let anyone around you pressure you into doing it when you’re not ready. Do what’s best for you, always.
4. Start with your inner circle
Start small, as they always say. Choose the people you surround yourself with, those whom you trust the most. Those whom you know will listen to you without judgment and who will accept you whole heartedly for who and what you are. Whether it’s a family member or a close friend, go for it. Practice until it becomes comfortable for you. Then when it gets easier, try expanding your reach while keeping those you trust close so that you will always feel supported and loved, no matter what happens.
5. Visualize your desired outcome
“Why worry about something that’s not even there yet?” — I just love asking this question to others (and to myself too) to knock some sense to them as they anticipate negatively the things that have yet to happen based on assumptions. So instead of wasting your time feeling stressed and anxious, why not just focus your energy into visualizing how you want the entire thing to go for you: people accepting you, living free, being able to make the right decision etc. be as clear as possible and know that when you believe and your intentions as pure, all will be well, just like how you have imagined it. Try asking this to yourself: Now what can go right and how would that look like for me? Exciting, I know.
Remember: to become your own #bestmeever you must be brave and comfortable enough to embrace your authentic, unapologetic, grandest version of yourself. Never be afraid to express and live your truth.
And on that note, I would also want to invite all the members of the LGBTQIA+ community to avail of my FREE Coaching Session for the Pride month, something which I have been doing in the last 4 years so to speak, to help people own their truth and take up space. Interested parties may book here: https://calendly.com/d/cpzv-fwh-v9f/pride-2024-free-coaching-lgbtq
Time to #LiveWithPride.
You’re not helping the other person when you tolerate bad behavior.
There I said it.
I know I might get raised eyebrows by claiming that but hey, I stand by for what I think and feel is right.
I have always believed that each one of us is responsible for our actions no matter how we feel.
So therefore, I can’t seem to find or recognize any valid excuse for treating others unkindly or exhibiting bad behavior.
That’s called accountability.
I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble here but you see, tolerance isn’t exactly the best way to show your love and concern for someone.
In fact, instead of helping that person, you are actually crippling him/her as you prevent him/her to see his/her fault and the need to take responsibility on the situation on hand.
So now, I want you to take this time to reflect: what are you currently tolerating in your space? Who’s involved? Why do you do so?
Know that it’s ok to be truly honest with yourself because I totally feel that you are coming from a well-meaning space. At least you are more aware now, right?
What is key here is that you now know that anything you tolerate won’t do you any good in the long run, even with the best intentions on hand.
Remember this: no one can force you to do things or be with people who are not in alignment with your core values and those which rob you of your happiness and joy. Own your space. Don’t let others cross your boundaries for whatever reason because you, much like everyone else, is deserving to take up space as you are and keep it the way you want to. Let them understand that a NO is definitely a NO.
2. Lying
You deserve the truth and nothing less. Allowing someone to continuously lie to you means that you are not being honest with yourself too. So if you really want to help people take responsibility for themselves, you have to always ensure that they come from a space of truth because only with real awareness comes acceptance and change there after. Better to hear the harsh truth than live a lie, right?
3. Violence
Non-negotiable for me. On a personal note, this is something I am very particular with, even before getting in a relationship with someone. I always tell them: the moment you lift a finger on me and intentionally hit me, it’s over. No ifs or buts. I hope you realize that the same goes for you too. That no one ever has the right to use violence to make a point. So if you think that accepting all those punches or pinches makes you the better person, no, not really. Don’t start creating a raging monster. Read that again.
Ever heard of the saying: “When there’s a will, there’s a way.” So true right? So never let anyone escape his responsibility to honor his/her word and commitment by calling out excuses and focusing on what is needed to be done and delivered accordingly. Don’t let anyone take your kindness for granted. While it’s ok to give some time and space due to unforeseen events, if it happens all too often or you end up following up most of the time and not get any confirmation about what happens next, then you may want to put your foot down and draw the line.
5. Negativity
To be honest: you don’t need any kind of toxic relationship in your life. Every relationship, whether it’s with your family, friends, at work or anywhere you may be connected with, should always bring out the best, not the stress in you. You don’t want to be the absorber of everyone’s negativity nor be verbally put down in the process. That’s not your role. It will never be. If the relationship you’re in is not helping you grow, let go. You can always nurture new ones when you eventually meet and end up with people who truly deserve to be in your space.
As we wrap this up, I hope by now you have a clearer picture of all the things that you are tolerating in your space that’s not really working for you.
With this new awareness, may you be able to to change your ways of showing your love, care and compassion from tolerating people to empowering people to take responsibility for themselves and their actions.
Because you can. And because that is what you deserve too.
