“As the saying goes….”
Followed by a quote to justify whatever argument is being presented.
Sounds familiar, right?
I am sure you have heard this time and again from your parents, friends, work mates, or even random acquaintances.
Normally this statement pops up when someone wants to remind you of something, hoping that a quote can influence you to do just that or when a point has to be further emphasized.
Take this time to reflect: in your space, what old sayings did you frequently hear? How did you take them?
Now before you start overthinking again about your response, please take this to heart:
Those sayings are subject to your own interpretation.
You have a choice to agree with them or question them.
And that’s ok.
After all, it’s your own journey. Your rules. Your take on things too.
In my case admittedly, while growing up I subscribed to majority of how the old sayings went, thinking that a bunch of wise words from someone I don’t even know will do the same wonders it did for them perhaps.
However, as life happened, I realized that by having much self-awareness, and coming from a space of authenticity, I can choose how to reframe the statements to best fit any given situation I am in.
That, my friend, can be such a liberating and empowering experience indeed.
You all know by now how much I value authenticity. I totally believe that by embracing your truth you allow yourself to humbly accept your current space. By doing so, you become 100% present which can help you think of strategic ways to go about a certain situation as you recognize what is here and now. Hiding behind a facade can only take you on a short distance and can be quite tiring as you struggle with what is real and what is not. Don’t wait for the the guilt or shame to get to you. Face your challenges head on, with all that you are and all that you have at that given point in time. That will always be more than enough, regardless of the results you get. Because at the end of it all, it becomes a learning (and growing) experience for you.
2. Don’t burn bridges TO It’s ok to burn bridges as you build better, more meaningful ones.
Fact: Not everyone will be part of your happily ever after. Know that everything happens for a reason so just embrace things as they are. Let them (and yourself) be. You have to be brave enough to let go of things (and people) who no longer spark joy or if your what could have been(s) are weighing you down. Be grateful that once in your life you had that beautiful relationship of whatever kind happen in your life. That was its part of the story. It ends there as you learn and grow from the lessons it taught you. However, as you close chapters, realize that by doing so, you open up space for better things (and people) to come into your life. Life goes on. And so can you, even with the bridges you burned because they led to nowhere. Keep on building better ones of greater value which you deserve, ones that can help you become your own #bestmeever .
3. Save the best for last TO Enjoy the best here and now
While people judge an experience based on expectations about it being on a high note, there is so much beauty in just indulging in the now, being 100% present and rewarding yourself simply because you deserve it. Never attach your happiness or rewards for yourself to a certain goal achieved or milestone reach. Who says you can’t wear your nice clothes on an ordinary day or use your expensive China silver ware when there are no visitors? When will you embark on that much deserved vacation and allow yourself to have a break from it all? You see, here’s a common misconception: that we have all the time in this world. Not true at all. No one knows about what the future may bring. So why not just live in the moment as you take responsibility for yourself and your actions? Pursuing big goals doesn’t mean you have to postpone your happiness along the way. And yes, you can finally eat that box of expensive chocolates inside your refrigerator. Haha!
4. Actions speak louder than words TO Actions and words should equally speak as loud
Yep. For me, one is not more important than the other as they both have the same impact on people. Ever heard of love languages, communication and learning styles? It differs from one person to another. Thus, it’s best if you put equal importance to both your words and actions. Casing point: you need words to inspire, talk sense and motivate people as you show them your intentions. On the other hand, you can’t just rely on actions alone to cover for what’s unspoken and give the necessary explanations, level expectations and to address difficult conversations. And vise versa. So never take for granted one over the other.
5. Forgive and forget TO Forgive and never forget the lessons
I don’t know if it’s just me but I really don’t believe that when people offend you, you should just bury the hatchet and forget it ever happened. For me, it seems like you were invalidating your own feelings and thoughts them, making them as if they were less important than the situation on hand. I beg to differ though. I do believe in the power of forgiveness, but I also embrace the value of taking life lessons to heart and never forgetting them. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to share spaces with them and bring back things as they were before. You just can’t. There were learnings….and hopefully growth. Come from that space. You are not starting from ground zero up this time around; you are starting from experience. The goal here is to make the most of that new space, respect boundaries and allow things to unfold without putting too much pressure in bringing them the way they used to be. Who knows, going with the new may allow you to end up with something better and more valuable.
I know these may be too much for you to take, but hey, try to gain your own insights through them.
You don’t have to agree with me. I know for a fact that these might be a not so popular take on things.
And that’s ok. What is important is that you get new insights for your consideration.
As the saying goes, you know what’s best for you.
Keep it that way.
I win. Every single day. Every single way.
Well, this is how I like to see things, to be candid about it.
Ever since I started practicing gratitude, the way I see (and experience) things changed for the better and I got to make the most of my life more, amidst its twists and turns.
For me, there are good days and days for learning. There. Just the two.
And on that note, given that choice, I always win.
I know it’s quite easy to celebrate huge milestones and bask in the glory, but truth be told, small ones matter as much. They keep you going. And even slow days are worth celebrating. Be comfortable with them.
This is just one of the beautiful truths about winning in life: size does not matter.
By embracing this, you get to enjoy and experience life more.
You don’t have to wait for others to validate you to feel that you have succeeded in a task or achieved a certain goal. Winning is a feeling, and it is felt by choice and by being mindful and appreciative of your own worth and effort. Those can never be compensated by what others have to offer you (or not). The key here is to come from a space of self-love and knowing your worth that goes beyond any achievement. In my case, during the times I lost in a competition or rejected for a project, I still look for the silver linings. And believe me, there are a lot. Being given the chance to improve myself, to explore other options and to try again for even better ones are just some of the beautiful opportunities hidden in every seemingly painful situations.
2. Winning takes time
Success doesn’t happen overnight. And if it does, most often than not, it’s not sustainable or scalable to some extent. So stop rushing things. Take your time as you pour in the committed work bundled with the clearest intentions so that you get to appreciate your journey every step of the way. Mind you, it took me 7 years worth of hard work, blood, sweat and tears, unwavering commitment, countless rejections and a good number of client testimonials before I won the Gold in the Best Life Coach Category in the 2024 Coach Awards (Shout out to all those people who made this possible — you know who you are). But mind you: I got to enjoy, humble myself, learn and grow in my journey as a budding life coach finding his way as he lives his purpose years back even before that huge milestone which opened a lot of new doors. Looking back at my entire experience humbles me in the process and makes me appreciate the time spent on working on myself and my craft. All worth it.
3. Not everyone will celebrate your win with you
When the going gets tough, or when you enter a competition, you will see who has your back fully. What I learned based on experience: there will be some people whom you are counting on who will not show up. There will be others who will give you half-hearted support, those who genuinely love and support you unconditionally and there will be total strangers rallying for you to your surprise. And when you win, you will see the people who helped you all through out and those who are celebrating you (and with you), those who just watched and waited to see your results before celebrating you and those who totally disappear in the process. And guess what? That’s totally fine. It’s your win. Share it because you deserve it as your intention is to inspire, and leave it to people on how they will accept it. That’s beyond your control so just let go and accept things as they are.
4. To really win, you must feel genuinely happy, complete and fulfilled
Don’t pay for awards. Don’t fake anything. You don’t have to look good in the eyes of others to win in this lifetime. Winning becomes priceless when you know deep within that you truly deserved it. Take up space as the imperfect version of yourself and just do your best as you focus on things which really spark joy and inspire you fully. That will always be more than enough, regardless of the result you may have.
5. To win in life, you just have to embrace your own #bestmeever
Be the person you’re meant to be, not what every one else around you expects you to be or what you thought you should be. Set yourself free and embrace your authentic, unapologetic, grandest version of yourself, your own #bestmeever , no matter how that may look like for you with 100% commitment. Stop trying to be like someone else or merely replicating what others have done to succeed in their journey. Own yours by creating your own path and doing what’s best for you — that itself is a huge win. To be a disruptor in your chosen space to inspire others to carve their own destiny as well. Whether you choose to become a best selling author, or a business man, a house wife or whatever it is that you want to be, for as long as it’s true and you’re genuinely happy, you do you.
I hope now you have a better appreciation of how to really win in life.
And by reading this, you’ve already won.
Congratulations.
Surprise! My email inbox: 0 new messages.
Weird.
You see this has never happened to me before as I am used to getting my client confirmations, inquiries, brand collaborations, invitations and a whole lot more flood my email on a daily basis. And yes, including my online shopping bill. Haha!
So I was taken aback when I opened my mail and found it to be so at peace. Haha!
“Oh well, I could use some time off from reading all my emails.” And I didn’t give it much thought until I got a message on LinkedIn:
“We sent the updated certificate on Friday but I just got an delivery error notification just now.
Sending it to you here just in case. .”
Friday. I checked my email on this Monday. WTF.
My heart started racing and I instinctively checked on my domain hosting services for my bestmeever.com email.
OMG. It was no where to be found.
And then I saw one email that said my payment lapsed and they had to park my domain.
I was like, huh? My credit card was active and I had a back up which was also working.
How can that happen?
Even more questions popped into my head when I tried searching for my domain and found out it was already “taken”. What?! How can that be?
Here’s the catch: they want me to avail of a domain broker service worth P4500+ to get my domain back for a minimum of $1,000 USD.
I. Just. Can’t.
It was so surreal. I was admittedly caught by surprise that suddenly, my domain bestmeever.com for 5 years was no longer in my possession.
But here’s the wilder scenario, as my mind tried to grasp the impact of this sudden loss:
Two brand collaboration invites bounced;
Multiple client schedules for the week not registered;
Updates for Coach Awards and Global Gurus , competitions I was nominated in were not received;
Tracking for my online purchases gone.
…and the list goes on.
Gosh.
But then again, I realized, things like this happen in real life, in other aspects.
Take this time to reflect: has it happened to you before?
…missed out on an important meeting?
….forgot the password to your account which got locked?
…had something stolen from you?
How did you deal with it?
Whatever your response then, it’s ok. You still have time to tweak it as you read this.
Yup, it was a learning experience for me yesterday, and until now as I troubleshoot and write this.
I know. It can be so stressful. But think about this: panicking won’t help you in the process. In fact, making impulsive decisions can wreck even more havoc in the long run. The key here is to pause and ground yourself so that you can think of a logical situation when all your emotions have stabilized. Taking deep breaths can do wonders for you.
2. Assess the situation carefully
After recognizing your emotions and letting them settle, try to see the situation on hand objectively. What is the implication? What can you be missing out? What must you consider? What can be good about this? I had to answer all those 4 when I was trying to pacify myself yesterday and it gave me enough leverage to come up with what will work best for me at that given point in time.
3. Let go of anything beyond your control
This is a golden rule. I mean why continuously stress over things (and people) you have no control of? Stressing over them won’t change a thing and it won’t definitely guarantee you the desired outcome you want. Remember: you spend precious energy as you try to control everything. What you can do is utilize the same amount of energy and effort in letting go and focusing on what you can still influence as of the moment so that you don’t go around in circles.
4. Seek help
You are never alone and it’s ok to seek for help because that’s a sign of strength. Give yourself the assistance you deserve by acknowledging the fact that sometimes you can’t do things on your own. I immediately reached out to my web developer and to a couple of techie people I know for help and the guidance they gave me allowed me to formulate my options moving forward.
5. Check on your priorities
Based on your assessment of the situation, what should you focus on first? Again, it’s imperative to let go of all the distractions so that you can create a strategic pathway towards the soundest solution you need and want for yourself. Consider the help you have received and know that at the end of the day, you can only do so much so working on resolving one thing at a time is best. In my case, my priority was to inform everyone affected by the loss of my email and give them an alternative email where they can reach me instead. I am lucky though that people I reached out too were kind enough to understand the problem and were willing to make necessary adjustments.
You might be curious about my own resolution. Well, what I did was get myself a new domain hosting and service. You can now reach me at myke@bestmeever.net 🙂
I can definitely say that after 5 years, I am at peace with letting go of my previous domain, bestmeever.com. I will always be grateful for it served its purpose well and has been instrumental in receiving numerous good news and blessings through the years. Thank you.
However, life goes on.
And so can I.
Still on my way to becoming my own #bestmeever .
With my new email address.
“You deserve to give yourself the kind of love and understanding you willingly give to others.”
One of my favorite reminders, actually.
Let’s face it: oftentimes we forget ourselves in the process of wanting to please others too much.
In the end though, we realize that seeing the smiles on the faces of other people can’t really fully address your own void
To some extent yes, it brings you joy and a sense of fulfillment.
But have you ever thought about how important it is to acknowledge your own needs and wants?
So let me ask you this: when was the last time you put yourself first?
When was the last time you gave yourself what is due without feeling guilty?
If your answer is “never” or you have long forgotten when, then this is your sign to treat yourself kinder.
Hear me out on this: whatever you’ve been through, or whatever it is that you’re going through, no matter how f*cked up life may be, beating yourself up and depriving yourself won’t resolve the issue on hand or bring back time.
Hard slap I know. But you needed that.
If you want to change the space you’re in, start by being kinder to yourself.
Because as you take care of yourself more, you become happier and you also teach others how to treat you.
Stop questioning yourself whether you’re deserving or not of that kindness. That was never the question.
It’s all about recognizing your own worth and being comfortable with owning your space as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
Uhuh. Never disregard your own needs and wants. They matter. And you matter as much as anyone else. You don’t need to shut off that inner voice telling you what can make you become happier and more fulfilled in this life time. Acknowledge them and give yourself what is due. Because each time you fill up your own cup, you come from a space of overflow and you get to share more to others.
2. Have loving conversations with yourself
How you speak to yourself affects how you see and feel about yourself. Engaging in positive self talk allows you to appreciate and empower yourself more. Mind you though: it’s not just about saying things; it’s all about believing them too. On a personal note, what I do is that every time I stand in front of the mirror, I do my affirmations as I give myself the credit that is due, whole heartedly. Sometimes the exact words we need to hear need not come from others. We can just genuinely speak from the heart as we tell ourselves just those.
3. Set and observe boundaries
Respect is key in any relationship, including the one that you have with yourself. By setting boundaries, you allow yourself to exist in a happier space as you protect yourself from anything or anyone not in alignment with your core values. Never feel guilty for distancing yourself from unnecessary stress and drama. They don’t deserve to share spaces with you in the first place.
4. Invest on yourself and your growth
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is growth. You are the best investment you can ever make so don’t set aside opportunities to work on yourself, develop your potential and become the person you’re meant to be. Working on yourself is never an unnecessary expense — it’s a must if you want to make the most of this lifetime. So whether you enroll in a class that’s in alignment with your passion, get a coach, or go on that much needed vacation, do it. You grow more when you flow.
5. Pursue your dreams
You’re not just an enabler for others — you also deserve to make your dreams come true. Give yourself enough time and space to go for what you truly want in life. It’s never too late to listen to yourself and fulfill what makes your heart skip a beat. Make your own fairy tale come true by unapologetically taking steps towards your own north star, as you finally live your true purpose in this lifetime, whatever that may be for you. At the end of the day, you can always help others even as you pursue your own dreams. Never think it’s about choosing one over the other.
These are only 5 tips. You can do so much more to treat yourself with kindness.
Allow yourself to explore and implement them.
Because you are worthy of taking up space too.
You can only accept things which you fully understand.
This has always been one of my favorite things to tell my coaching clients.
So true, don’t you think.
I am basically coming from a premise that humans oftentimes, if not always, resist what is unfamiliar.
That is the very reason why change can be so scary at times.
However, we must be ready to embrace change always because as they say, it’s inevitable.
But how can you embrace something which you don’t fully know about or understand?
Oops. there we go again. Questioning things even before we try it. Got you there! Haha!
But yes, that basically shows my point.
Don’t fret though. Tips are just around the corner.
Ok, I know change can be too overwhelming at times. So the key here is to create enough space between you and your thoughts and assumptions (and if possible, the trigger source per se), so you don’t get too caught up in the moment. Never let yourself act out of impulse. Instead, focus on retreating temporarily to your safe space (no matter how that may look like for you), as you gather facts and respond based on them. Yep, respond, not react.
2. Do away with your biases
We have all grown up differently, having sets of experiences which are unique to us. These experiences have formed biases that blur our logic and decision making, as they focus too much on what is familiar, pleasurable or what we think is right. However, biases are more often than not mere assumptions and at times no longer serve their purpose when put in the current context. So best if you ask yourself: what am I merely assuming in this case? What biases of mine are coming into play? Then answer both as honestly as possible.
3. Focus on the value
Like I always say, good or bad, everything that happens to you has a reason. When you want to understand something that you are initially resisting, whether it’s an unfortunate turn of events or an unexpected detour, focus on the value it brings: the lessons, the growth and the new opportunity to start all over again on a clean slate moving forward. Consider yourself lucky to be able to learn and grow along the way as you understand your space better. A powerful question you can ask yourself is: What is this teaching me? Try it.
4. Be open
You can’t control everything. And that’s perfectly fine. Because you shouldn’t. Trust in the grander design of things far beyond your knowledge and power. Know that if you just allow yourself to flow, you actually grow more in the process.
5. Experience it for yourself
As they say, don’t knock it off until you try it. See for yourself. Experiencing things (and people) as they are fully allows you to understand completely as you go face to face with your fears, assumptions and desires moving forward. Give it a chance. Whether you finally say yes or no, you are worth the decision you are making for as long as you’re coming from a space of full understanding.
I hope this helps you understand the space you’re in at the moment.
Know though that whatever that may look like for you at present, it’s ok.
You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
On your way to your own #bestmeever .
Bigger is not always better.
There I said it.
But it’s quite true.
This stemmed from my recent experience eating in a buffet in Novotel. For Sunday lunch, the food spread was huge and the variety was quite impressive, given the presence of some uncommon seafood for grilling (think Curacha, and no, not the 90s movie, among others).
At first, since I didn’t have breakfast to make space for this feast (am I the only one who does this?), I was like: let’s do this. So off I went to sample some of the items immediately: got myself a huge slice of roast beef, a plateful of seafood (only half of which I can identify)  and a bunch of baked veggies. Halfway through my delicious meal, my eyes started wandering around, looking for my next target. A part of me wanted to sample the rest of the eye candies on hand but guess what, before I can even go back to eating what’s left on my plate, somewhat I already felt full. What?! Paano masulit ang buffet (which happens to be the common biggest concern of Filipinos when indulging in eat-all-you-can restos, more so if they’re on the pricey side)?!
Geez. I should have remembered. Strategy is key to enjoy the sumptuous buffet spread more. I should have went around first to scout. Gotten smaller pieces. Took my time. And not ate like a hungry Viking having his last meal. Oh well, at that time what I did just made sense.
But looking at it now, I got to reflect about the times in the past where I got tempted to go for shiny objects, normally an upgrade or a size larger than usual, not necessarily because I needed it but just because I thought it would be a better deal for me.
Whether shopping at Landers or S&R for body wash and detergents which are big enough to be shared even to my neighbors;
Or when going for an upsize in my regular dessert, thinking I deserved it, while totally ignoring the additional calories and expense;
Or even when choosing a gift during Kris Kringle, my eyes normally dart to the biggest, most beautifully wrapped one.
But hey, what I have come to realize is that it’s not the size really which matters.
It’s the intention. It’s the purpose behind each choice we make.Â
Because small, medium or large, it doesn’t really matter.
Because enough is enough, based on your own standards.
Look at it this way:
Help, of whatever kind, still has an impact.
Growth, no matter the size or speed, is still progress.
Gifts, no matter how much they cost, are still thoughtful gestures.
Not all things have to be grand to mean more.
And to make the most of this lifetime, we should just focus on being grateful for whatever we have and whatever is given, taking only what we need while sharing with others what we have more of.
Even the smallest, simplest joys matter.
And yes, that includes the food in the buffet which will never run out so get only what you can finish. Remember, the more you let others enjoy the food alongside you, the faster it will be refilled. Applies to life’s blessings as well.
Now at this point in time, I want you to reflect:
What small things in your life can you appreciate more?
What can help you become more mindful of them?
I hope moving forward, you get to look beyond what is superficial and just embrace things as they are.
For all you know, what you have in front of you, is actually larger than life.
It was a very colorful event, so to speak.
Both literally and figuratively if I may say.
So I just came back from my stint as a keynote speaker in the Sorsogon Pride Summit (thank you to the Provincial Government of Sorsogon for having me), as part of the celebration of the 2024 Kasanggayahan Festival
.
And I must tell you, even if I have done a lot of talks and advocacy work geared towards promoting inclusivity and diversity for the LGBTQIA+ community, this experience opened my eyes to new possibilities.
You see, it was the first time I saw kids (I assume they were just around 11-13 years old) participate actively in the summit. And I kid you not when I say that their make up and get up would put even the best contestants of Ru Paul’s Drag Race to shame.
I was in awe of their confidence and how comfortably they expressed themselves based on what was true for them and not on what the society expects, something which, in other places or circumstances, will get raised eyebrows and heads shaking with disapproval.
And yet there I was, beaming with pride, as I welcomed them onstage during the awarding ceremony of the program, wherein each LGBTQIA+ group who participated were duly recognized for their support to the said event.
For a moment, I reflected: how would things look for me now if I had the same courage and support from all the people around me back then when I was struggling to figure out who and what I was while growing up?
Would life have been better? Happier? Would I still have journeyed towards my own #bestmeever ?
I wouldn’t know now for sure. My journey growing up in a time when being gay was quite unacceptable and anyone who did not conform with the societal norm was ostracized and ridiculed endlessly, was far from what my eyes are showing me now and what my heart is letting me feel.
Don’t get me wrong: I have no regrets. I totally believe that my own set of experiences have led me to genuinely advocate for inclusivity and diversity through the years which I believe, gradually, is initiating the much needed changes I longed to see when I started.
And we are very much deserving of it, regardless of our race, gender, status, accomplishment, religion or whatever standards that may divide us, knowingly or unknowingly.
Being different is a gift. It shouldn’t be taken against anyone who is just very much deserving to take up space as he/she is.
Standing out is not a crime. Fitting in is not a must. It’s all about respect.
There I said it.
Never let what makes you special weigh you down.
Own your space by fully embracing who and what you are, no ifs, or buts.
Be proud of what you chose to become amidst the ups and downs in life.
Those LGBTQIA+ kids made me realize that there was hope.
It was so heartwarming to witness each one of them being seen, heard, felt and celebrated.
I fervently hope such goes on long after the Pride summit is over.
To make that happen, we need each other, members of the LGBTQIA+ community or otherwise.
To inform. To Understand. To Accept.
So at this point in time, I want you to reflect on this:
What must you change within you so you can understand and accept others better?
What can you do to inspire others to do the same?
I look forward to seeing you do your part in creating a world where no one gets left behind.
Where someday, everyone can just be themselves, safely and free.
Time to live with pride.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
As the song by Elton John goes.
So true at times.
Most especially if you’re coming from a space of hurt and heightened emotions.
Asking for forgiveness isn’t exactly a walk in the park.
You have to deal with a lot of emotions, take in a lot of facts and brace yourself for whatever reaction the other party may have.
Yup it can be that scary.
However, if you really want to work on yourself and save the relationship on hand, learning to say sorry when at fault, can do wonders for you.
At the end of the day, it shows how much you value yourself and your relationships when the going gets tough and threatens the harmony you initially had.
At this point in time, I’d like you guys to pause and reflect accordingly:
What do you need to apologize for?
To whom?
Is it about a recent melt-down you had at work?
To your partner whom you have taken for granted?
Someone whom you’ve disrespected, whether knowingly or unknowingly?
To yourself, for neglecting your own needs and wants?
Ouch. I know. Trigger questions can hurt but they can also give you the clarity you need if answered as honestly as possible.
Keep in mind though that there’s no judgment and you are allowed to process everything accordingly in your own time and space.
Yes, you don’t have to say sorry if you don’t feel like it. However, my take is: you don’t have to be rude as you take that in consideration too.
Being reminded to apologize is not an attack; it’s coming from a space of love and concern in an effort to bring back harmony that was lost during a conflict, whether internal or external.
Saying sorry allows you to do away with so much pride that prevents you from growing and your relationships from truly flourishing. Humility is needed for one to learn the important lessons in life about commitment, respect and boundaries, all three essential if you want to thrive in your chosen space. It’s all about embracing the fact that no one is perfect and we are all entitled to commit mistakes. What is more important though is learning to own up to the consequences of our actions, based on what is truly right and just, and not just on how we felt at any given point in time.
2. It helps saves relationships
Whether it’s about the people around you or with yourself, learning how to say sorry can make a big difference on how you see and deal with your relationships. Don’t let any good relationship go to waste. Saying sorry, when you are at fault (and sometimes even when you are not), is never a sign of weakness. It just shows how much you value the relationship on hand and how willing you are to work things out as you give everything a second chance, if you feel it’s something that’s well-deserved.
3. It helps unburden you
You don’t want to go through life with so much excess baggage from your daily conflicts and struggles. Travel light. Get everything that’s weighing you down off your chest by initiating a peaceful dialogue that will allow all parties involved air their side. It’s not about getting the desired results of knowing who’s to blame or what, but rather, being able to speak your truth and set yourself free from all what could have been.
4. It teaches you important lessons
Saying sorry allows you to become more self-aware about your actions and how you see and deal with your relationships. Being mindful about your words and actions based on the learnings from previous unwanted situations help you avoid the mistakes committed before.
5. It speaks good of your character
You can always choose to be the bigger person, someone who understands more and puts value in his relationships. People will be drawn more to you because they want someone who practices self-responsibility and accountability for his actions. And that’s quite rare nowadays when no one seems to want to admit to be at fault. I mean, check on what’s on the news today. Haha!
Saying sorry may be one of the hardest things to do but it definitely is worth it if you truly believe in the value it can give you and the relationships at stake.
So hopefully, after reading this, you finally have a change of heart.
Never too late to say sorry.
And to change for the better.
Fact: people will always remember not what you’ve done in the past, but rather the one thing (or things) that you have done at present.
I guess that’s where seeing is believing comes in.
And that is where judgement resides too.
Have you ever experienced being crucified (hopefully not literally though) by those around you just because of the that one mistake you have done, regardless of its size or impact?
I mean let’s face it, a lot of times people forget about your kindness when you commit something that’s totally out of character.
But hey, we are only human. And we are not perfect.
We are bound to commit mistakes. And that’s ok.
We have to be kinder to ourselves too.
However, we must also be mindful about our actions that come there after.
And of what comes next.
This was actually my realization that inspired me to write about this piece.
You see, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who had this habit of keeping others hanging when telling a story.
Are you familiar with the cliff hanger scenes in a series wherein you get too much excited to find out what the hero/heroine will do but then a commercial break appears or much worse, end credits signaling your long, agonizing wait till the next episode. Haha!
If you hate that feeling, imagine how I felt when my friend suddenly paused dramatically in mid sentence and looked at me smiling.
Mustering all my will power and courage as to not strangle her (haha!), I just looked at her straight in the eye, and asked in my least interested tone “And then?”
“You could have been more excited!” she said.
“I would have if you didn’t leave me hanging.”, me laughing harder.
Listening to her continue her story though, to be honest, it fell short of my expectations.
So that is what struck me: that I became too focused now on what she said after I asked “and then?” that I lost track of all other things she said beforehand.
And then demarcated the continuation of her story.
And the beginning of my disinterest (maybe because it was my inner self taking revenge for being left hanging, haha!) in her own delulu moment (sorry friend!).
Don’t get me wrong: I still let her finish and I genuinely gave my input about her concern on hand. After all, we are friends.
And at that moment, I realized an important lesson: we can always have our own “and then” moments.
My friend chose to handle things her way. That’s perfectly fine. It’s her narrative.
We can always pause first, reflect and test the waters. And then act there after.
We can always choose and commit to whatever decision we have made. And then we work on it.
We can always start all over again from scratch. And then work our way up once more.
People will always judge us, not just by the version they knew, but also by what we choose to become here and now.
Which means….when we define our very own “and then” moments.
And yes, it doesn’t need to flat out.
So now, I want you to take this time to reflect:
How are you going to craft your new narrative?
What happens next?
What will your “and then” moment be like?
I hope this piece inspires you to finally focus on owning your next chapter.
Don’t keep yourself (and others) hanging.
It’s only the beginning.
Of something far greater than you’ve ever imagined.
You can’t have it all.
Otherwise, you’ll be perfect. And that’s not possible.
Because nobody is.
And yes, that’s pretty much ok.
Hey, don’t get me wrong: you can always aspire for more.
No one is stopping you from dreaming bigger or achieving more.
You deserve that.
What I am trying to say is that it’s ok if you don’t get exactly what you want.
May it be winning in a competition.
The promotion you worked hard for.
The trip that got cancelled.
The person you were pursuing.
The relationship that you lost.
And whatever else that may have cause you pain and suffering.
Take this time to assess: what is it that’s burdening you as of the moment? How are you dealing with it?
Whatever it may be, no matter how heavy it may seem, please do me a favor: promise me you’ll be kinder to yourself.
Promise me that you will stop blaming yourself for what happened.
That you will stop thinking of yourself negatively.
That you won’t give up on yourself.
Do it not only for me, but for youself because you are worthy of second chances amidst all the craziness surrounding you.
A second, third, fourth or no matter how many it takes.
Your imperfections don’t make you insignificant.
It does not make you less of a person.
It makes you human.
And they humble you in the process of maximizing what you have so you can become what you’re meant to be.
It’s all about learning from your imperfections and the things that have gone wrong while working around them using the lessons you now have.
Never attach your happiness to things, people or situations that you feel will make your life perfect.
Your happiness is here and now. Within you, and whom you choose to be.
It does not come when things are perfect.
It comes when you are ready to embrace your reality and take up space as you are, no matter how imperfect the situation may seem.
Look around you. What do you need to be more mindful about? What can you appreciate more?
Look within you. What needs to change? How can you make that happen?
You are a work in progress. So are we. And that’s ok.
You may not have it all. And that’s fine.
Because all it takes is genuine appreciation for what you have and who you’re becoming as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
Keep going. Keep growing.
In your own special, imperfect way.
