As the song goes, sorry seems to be the hardest word.
And I am so sure, we can all relate to this.

Mind you, this goes both ways.

What I mean is that: accepting forgiveness isn't exactly a walk in the park. At times, I even think, based on experience, it's even harder than asking for forgiveness.

Maybe because there are a lot of things to consider: the magnitude of the offense, the relationship at stake, the consequences there after...and the list goes on.

Therefore, in my opinion, it's only right to give the person you've offended enough time and space, as you show how genuinely sorry you are, without really expecting immediate acceptance of your apology in return.

Come to think of it, when was the last time you said sorry to someone you have hurt and how did it go?

Did you even apologize or was something holding you back?

This is also quite understandable. It's not easy to come from a space of humility and courage, knowing that you can be rejected based on what happened. However, I think apologizing is much easier compared to carrying the guilt that goes with the offense in the long run.

Take this time to reflect: what do you think could you do differently so that the other party will be more receptive to your apology?

If you're having a hard time figuring things out as of the moment, allow me to share with you the 5 ways you can ask for forgiveness:

  1. Say sorry genuinely

Please take note of the operative word: genuinely. Meaning, come from your heart. There is such a huge difference when it comes to merely sending out a direct message, a text, an email or a phone call to actually scheduling and meeting up with the other person you've offended and apologize face to face. That's the way you can actually measure the sincerity of the person. Unless the forces of nature intervene or in a life threatening situation, I have always believed that when there's a will, there's a way. Think about this: if you had time to hang out before when things were smooth, what difference does finding time to discuss things in person, have now? Need to travel? Why not. Local or overseas, if the other person is worth it, you would. It's all about being humble and sincere enough to initiate that difficult conversation , face to face as you put value in a relationship worth saving.

2. Ask what you can do to make up for it

At times, your sorry can only do so much. Express your sincerity more by asking what you can do to help lessen the impact of the wrong doing. Is it all about paying for the damage? Giving another schedule? Finding a replacement? Doing what it takes to earn that forgiveness gives you extra points, albeit sometimes more challenging than it seems. But hey, if you're really sorry for your mistakes and really want to patch things up, take note of the terms of the other party. Because this time around, you have to work with their terms. And you can't complain.

3. Give enough time and space

Fact: people don't really heal at the same time, more so, not as fast as you want them to. Never force them to accept your apology or to bring things back the way they used to be immediately. Be patient enough to wait when they're ready. In the meantime, focus on doing things that can assure them of your purest intentions without having to expect anything in return. In the process, don't also pressure yourself too much to make things right. You've already done your part, so give yourself more credit for that.

4. Check in after some time

It's not just about burying everything 6 ft below the ground after saying your apologies. Take time to reach out after sometime, say a month or so, to check on the other party. Remember to ask how they're doing, reiterate your intentions for doing so and tell them that you are open to discuss anything if needed. Avoid looking desperate by messaging them so often and forcing yourself and the other party to be ok. If it doesn't work out after a month, try again after another month or two. Never give up on a relationship that matters to you and the opportunity to receive the forgiveness you want and deserve too for yourself.

5. Change for the better

Any apology will be meaningless if you don't embrace the necessary changes that need to go with it. So whether or not the other person accepts your apology, what is important here is that you change for the better. Establish healthier habits, invest on yourself and your growth, make yourself and others proud by becoming your own #bestmeever . That way, whether the other person is ready to accept your apology or not, you've proven to yourself that you are capable of doing what is right and best for you as of the moment. And you don't need anyone else's go signal to apply the lessons you've learned along the way. Cheer up, I am sure someday, that other person will take notice. Until then, continue working on yourself so it doesn't happen again.

I hope by this time you have enough ideas on how to go about asking for forgiveness.

Remember, at the end of the day, you owe it not only to the person you've offended but also to yourself.

Simply because with every sincere apology, you set yourself free.

Credibility. Integrity. Authenticity.
Three core values that I keep closest to my heart.

Seriously though. On a personal note, words can't express the importance of these three when it comes to one's personal and professional life, so to speak.

Time and again, I have proven to myself that by being able to uphold my own core values, I managed to open doors that helped me in my journey towards my own #bestmeever .

While the three mentioned have equal importance, oftentimes, I get to be asked how I built and maintained my credibility through the years as I practice coaching. Maybe because among the three, this requires the most work.

To align everyone reading this: having credibility means the quality of being believable and worthy of trust . I believe that in order for one to be able to build credibility, it's a combination of having desirable behaviors, attitudes and skillsets that will make one trust-worthy.

On that note, since it's quite challenging to build and easy to lose so to speak, it's very important for us to protect it as much as we can.

Remember, as they say: trust, once gone, is hard to regain.

Hard truth indeed.

So given that, I want you to take this time to reflect: how have you been building and maintaining your credibility?

Are there certain behaviors and attitudes that compromise yours, whether consciously or unconsciously?

What actions are working against your credibility?

Whatever your answer may be, know that your awareness can be your stepping stone to addressing what needs to be dealt with in terms of building and maintaining your own credibility.

For now, take this time to learn about the 5 things that can affect your credibility negatively so that you can become more mindful of them , if and when they pop up:

  1. Not keeping your word

You are as good as your word. So make sure you honor every contract you signed, every promise you've given and stand by every word that you said. Broken promises lead to having trust broken which eventually can result in relationships, whether on a personal or professional note, breaking up. So before you have any regrets, try your best to commit only to things you are sure you can manage well. That way, you don't end up tarnishing your credibility with promises you can't (and don't intend to) keep.

2. Being inconsistent

How can you trust someone who's unpredictable in terms of behavior and actions? Every single day, show up, do your best, keep your word, follow through, and never leave anything or anyone hanging, no matter how difficult situations may be at times. Don't be afraid to be (and show) your authentic self because as you are, much like everyone else, you deserve to take up space. Drop all the masks, let go of all the pretensions. You don't need those if you want to build your credibility and your relationships around you.

3. Blaming others always

Taking responsibility for yourself and your actions is sexy. There I said it. Haha! Kidding aside, it's quite admirable seeing people who are able to be accountable for the decisions and results they have in life. Know that each time you blame others and refuse to take responsibility for your own life, you risk losing the confidence of people in you as you drown in your own victim mentality. Always take to heart that regardless of what happens to you and within you, you have the power of choice to be accountable for your desired results moving forward.

4. Overpromising, Underdelivering

One of the things I repeat time and again to my coach mentees is to always walk the talk. You can't just rely on your words to do the magic for you. You have to bundle it with the right, intentional actions to be able to deliver accordingly what is needed. While it's nice to assure people with what you say, make sure the assurance stays when you act on it. That means making sure that you give your best into fulfilling the expectations you have set in others. Otherwise, any misalignment in your words and actions can cause people to doubt you and the validity of your words. And that's certainly not a space you want to be caught in, right?

5. Communicating vaguely

Sometimes, when you want to play it safe, you say things for the sake of e.g. soon, next year, a lot, before etc. just to satisfy a certain question posted. Here's the thing: when you really want to commit to something, you will be really specific with the details because you know that you (and the other party) deserve to know accordingly so that expectations and actions can be managed better. So stop using words that are hard to qualify and giving out information that lacks important details to ensure that you don't lose the attention and trust of those listening to you as you speak. Facts over assumptions always, in all ways.

By now, I do hope that you get to embrace the importance of building and maintaining your credibility.

Always remember that your thoughts and actions should always be in alignment with your true intentions.
Because by ensuring that, you are able to keep your credibility in tact.
And that's a priceless experience.

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