If only I could turn back time
(Cue in loud sigh).
I definitely know that a lot of you guys can relate to this.
We all have those moments where in we wished that we could have done this, did away with that and change our lives in between.
We tend to be fixated in how our past went, with all the decisions we made and those we didn’t that we forget to live and enjoy the now.
But really, who’s to blame?
This was the thought that came into mind while I was reflecting this morning, as I took a day off from work because I wasn’t really feeling well due to my 2nd booster shot. I guess you can say that it was a much needed break from it all. And I need to listen to my body.
Having this “free” time today, I got to reflect about my life and wondered: how different will my life be if my younger self knew all the lessons I have taken to heart now?
The vision of my clueless, highly gullible grade school self who was ridiculed and bullied by other kids suddenly had a huge grin on his face.
I mean imagine, what if kids would learn their concepts of self-worth, self-care and self-love at an early age? What if much value was also given on how to become self-empowered, as much as being equip with technical skills?
I wish they taught these life lessons back then in school.
But hey, never too late to teach the younger generations now right?
1.) It’s ok to be different
This. There is no right or wrong concept of self. Everyone is free to become whatever he or she wants to be. You don’t always have to conform and going against the flow does not make one a bad person. One’s uniqueness is a gift and authenticity is a super power. Never let anyone make you feel that you’re less of a person if you sparkle a little brighter, a little more colorful than others. Honor yourself, young Unicorn.
2.) It’s ok to change dreams
Don’t pressure yourself too much kiddo on becoming what you initially thought you wanted or what your parents (and everyone else) around you think what’s best for you. It’s ok to take the steering wheel and go another direction. You’re not a failure that way; you’re merely following your heart and living your passion. You can change your mind for as many times as you want to, but know at the end of the day, you’re heart will stay where it feels like home. So until then, keep dreaming. You’ll end up where you’re truly meant to be.
3.) Success is not just about fame and fortune
Do away with the perception that getting good grades and being in a good school will guarantee your success. They won’t. Plus, success doesn’t even have to be defined always as something that’s flashy– you need not have the most prestigious profession, the biggest achievement or the richest to be considered successful. Don’t let others define what success means for you. Own it, may it be simply finishing a task or getting a passing grade, you need to give yourself more credit. And know as you age, dear kiddo, you will realize that there is so much more to life than just being successful. So instead of aiming to become successful in what you do, aim to be genuinely happy instead because fulfilment outweighs success.
4.) You become what you think you are
Uhuh. Your mind is that powerful. It’s not the words of others which define you. It’s how you see yourself and what you allow in your space that defines you at present. So quit paying attention to other people trying to bring you down, stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own journey and what feels genuinely true to you. At the end of the day, it’s all about you so must learn to take responsibility for yourself and your actions, because no one else will. Your mind is a blank canvas, make sure you paint a masterpiece of yourself in it, kid.
5.) Not everything (or everyone) will matter in the long run
Quit sulking over things that have gone wrong. Stop trying to please everyone around you just to fit in. Just live life as it is. Enjoy. Because eventually, you will realize that not everything will still be part of your next chapter. And that’s ok. Just be open to changes and embrace the beautiful person you’re becoming. And yes, you will be able to replace all the people you’ve outgrown, end up with an even better dream and make sense of why things had to be the way they were initially. Trust yourself and the process more and be brave enough to live life in your way, your time.
I hope you can share these lessons to younger people who need to be reminded that their own #bestmeever is just around the corner.
And don’t forget to share with your younger self too.
As you grow in harmony with each other.
Fact: There are things beyond our control.
And more often than not, we forget this.
Don’t get me wrong: we are all entitled to have our own dreams and aspirations. And even specific timelines that go with each.
We set our sights on achieving a certain level of success at a certain age or have a family within a desired time frame.
We consistently convince ourselves, as others put pressure on us, to meet ridiculous deadlines and subscribe to unreasonable standards.
But life isn’t that easy.
It has its own twists and turns.
And a lot of unforeseen surprises in between.
Suddenly it catches you off-guard and you find yourself sulking over a loss, a relationship that went sour, a failure, a bunch of other detours that make you believe that the world is against you.
But is it really the case?
Or maybe it’s just a matter of perfect timing, in God’s time?
If you’re reading this right now then this is your sign to take a step back and be patient.
To be more mindful and open.
To trust yourself and the process more.
To let yourself (and things) be.
As you visualize what God’s perfect timing looks like.
Well let me give you a glimpse:
In God’s perfect time, you will be able to fulfill your childhood dream and make your younger self proud;
In God’s perfect time, you will heal from all your pains from the past and allow you to enjoy the current space you’re in minus any negative associations from what could have been;
In God’s perfect time, it will all make sense: your heart aches, your disappointments, and all other things that made life challenging for you;
In God’s perfect time, you will achieve your greatest goals no matter how impossible they may seem at first.
In God’s perfect time, you will be happier and genuinely grateful for your entire journey that has unfolded right before your eyes.
In God’s perfect time, it’ll be all about you.
I know, that’s such an amazing bunch of thoughts to hold on to.
But much like you, my bigger question back then was: “So when?”
And after taking some time to reflect on it, I got my answer:
It’s now.
I am exactly where God wants me to be.
Amidst imperfections and ideals, of triumphs and pains,
He wants me to learn important lessons in gratitude and how to make the most of the now.
So that I will be truly ready to receive the life that I have always wanted and deserved.
So now, as you reflect about your current space, do away with the when or why you’re there.
Instead focus on the what and the how: what can you do to learn more about yourself and how can you maximize the space you’re in.
This is your time.
To become your own #bestmeever .
And that’s as perfect as God’s timing can get.
It feels so good to be right, right?
And so bad when you fumble and fuck things up.
I know. It really sucks when you’re wrong.
But hey, committing mistakes is not a sign of failure.
It’s a beautiful sign that you’re actually trying to improve yourself as you grow more.
However, we cannot discount the fact that at times, it’s quite hard to admit that we’re wrong.
Know that this does not only come from your ego, or you wanting to get desired results faster.
It may also stem from wanting to prove yourself to others, and even to yourself.
And of course, there’s the fear of judgment that goes with it.
Regardless of your reasons, know that you have a choice on how to deal with your mistakes.
1.) Accept with full humility
Fact: You can’t be right all the time. You don’t even have to be. So swallow your pride and come from a space of humility and openness and accept that you’re at fault. Remember that you can only resolve issues that you acknowledge and recognizing your mistakes is the first step in doing so. Admitting your mistakes does not make you less of a person; it actually makes you more human.
2.) Stop beating yourself up
You can’t make things right by hurting yourself continuously. No amount of harsh words or harmful actions towards yourself can undo what’s been done. So instead of beating yourself up, empower yourself to rise above the challenges. Remember to forgive yourself in the process.
3.) Take note of the lessons
Mistakes allow us to learn which in turn help us grow. Reflect on the situation and ask yourself what is it teaching you? Allow those lessons to become anchors in your next journey as you become your own #bestmeever.
4.) Come up with a solution under your control or influence
Make the most of the opportunity to make up for your mistake by thinking of ways you can improve the situation or redeem yourself. Focus only on what you can control and just do your best whatever solutions you may come up with.
5.) Ask for help
You don’t have to deal with your mistakes by yourself. Seek support or mentorship from people whom you think can help you fully as you try to start all over again on a clean slate. There will always be someone out there who will be willing to lend a helping hand, only if you’re humble enough to ask.
So yeah guys, cheer up.
Things will be better soon.
It’s more than just a very long vacation.
The Holy Week for Catholics, like myself, that is.
More than the planned (or unplanned) trips and getaways here and there, the Holy Week actually presents a beautiful opportunity to reflect and recalibrate, as you do away with things (and people) that stress you or make you feel burned out.
For some, it’s a time to relieve beautiful family traditions as they visit numerous churches and attend various religious gatherings. For others, it’s the perfect time to do spring cleaning and decluttering their lives in general.
For me, this year, I have decided to spend it reflecting as I fully recharge at home so that I will be ready in the weeks to come, based on my full schedule and a number of deliverables. I see it as a beautiful time to inquire within and realize the space I am in so that I may stay empowered and inspired to do all things that make my heart and soul genuinely happy.
1.) Where am I now at this point in my life?
I love this question. It helps me identify the exact space I am in. What I do is scan all aspects of my life e.g. relationships, career, passion, financial, dreams etc. and honestly identify how I feel about them and acknowledge how far I have gone in the process. I allow myself to celebrate my progress while identifying what beautiful improvements I can still make as I journey towards my own #bestmeever . Having a clear picture of your starting point allows you to ground yourself and accept the space you’re in, both of which essential to your own growth.
2.) What changes do I want in my life?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more or being more. Take time to reflect and recognize what are the things that you want to experience in your space differently. Identify the things that can make you happier and list them down. Justify why they are essential to your life now and note how they can change you for the better. Remember: change is inevitable and growth is a matter of choice, so make sure you consistently focus on your self-improvement as you embrace change whole heartedly.
3.) What is no longer working for me?
Sometimes you out grow people, things, your environment and situations. And that’s perfectly ok. So now, assessing the space you’re in: what no longer sparks joy or no longer adds value or inspiration? By recognizing what no longer works for you, allows you to clear the space it occupies as you make room for new, beautiful and relevant things (or people) to come into your life.
4.) What can I do now that’s under my control?
Fact: you can’t control everything around you. And that’s ok. What must you focus on now (after knowing all the things that make you happy and the things that no longer work for you) that’s under your control? What must you let go of to make room for new and better experiences? What can you start in your own way now? What must you initially park? It’s all about decluttering your life and identifying your priorities and working on them.
5.) How can I commit to myself and my plans better?
Having a solid plan can only take you so far in your journey. Commitment is key. Give yourself a definite deadline with expected milestones so that you can be guided accordingly. You already know your “what”, “why” and “how”…it’s now time to ask yourself “when” you intend to turn all your plans to reality. Yes, you are in control.
I hope these questions help you gain clarity during the Holy Week.
As you make long lasting, beautiful changes in your life there after.
Fact: Not yet does not mean never.
Things will happen when it’s time.
So why do we stress over delays too much?
Why do we let ourselves suffer in the process of waiting for the best that’s yet to come?
Why do we always equate delays with something that can hold us back from achieving our dreams.
Truth be told though, delays can be blessings in disguise.
We just have to look beyond what’s not yet happening as of the moment.
And see the beauty that lies behind it.
Sounds easier said than done right?
I feel you. I know how agonizing it is to wait endlessly for that once in a life time opportunity, that trip you planned for so long, that promotion you’ve always wanted, the love of your life, among others.
Simply because we always want to be in control of our lives.
And even on things that are well beyond our sphere of influence.
Don’t ever deny the presence of delays in your life. Remember, you can’t control everything. Resisting it and seeing delays as something detrimental to your growth will only add up to more stress that you have. So learn to be comfortable with it and know that everything happens for a reason. Believe in the concept of perfect timing.
2. Consider it as a learning experience
I always say, good or bad, any experience can teach you valuable lessons you need to thrive in your life there after. Be intentional in seeking what you need to know so that you can eventually become the person you’re meant to be. Consider these questions: what is making me impatient? What fears do I have? What can I do differently to improve the waiting time? Continue to discover those beautiful answers that you need in your current space.
3. Maximize the waiting time
While delays can sometimes be inevitable, you can always choose to make your waiting time more bearable. Instead of focusing on what’s not yet happening, allow yourself to explore on what else you can do so that you can remain happily productive as you wait. Do another pending assignment, catch on that Netflix series you missed, bond with family and friends…life goes on even if some aspects of it may have been paused as of the moment.
4. Stop overthinking
Like seriously. Formulating 101 negative narratives won’t speed up the process. Delays happen. That’s it. You don’t have to create justifications based on assumptions that won’t help at present. Remember, the goal is for you to be able to navigate through delays beautifully, not find faults.
5. Visualize desired outcome
If you spend the same amount of time and energy you used in ranting about delays and everything else that went wrong with it , in visualizing the ideal results you want, you are able to save yourself from the unnecessary stress. Negative thoughts won’t give you positive results, so might as well become intentional in focusing on your desired outcome to ensure that you are in a healthy space.
So there. I hope these tips help you deal with delays better.
Always remember, good things take time.
So take the time as you wait, to be good to yourself too.
There are good days and bad days.
And that’s perfectly ok.
We celebrate ourselves and our achievements during days when things are going as planned or when they went beyond our expectations in a good way.
However, there are also days when nothing seems to go right and we are left feeling stressed, anxious worried and overwhelmed with a lot of negative emotions.
It is during those days that we seek others for support and validation, hoping to help ease the pain and worries we are experiencing.
Well in the ideal setting, you will have a lot of people willing to give you a hand and whole heartedly support you.
But what if your cheerleaders are not present? How do you intend to move on and forward on your own?
This is where becoming motivated within comes into play.
To be truly self-empowered and secured by yourself, regardless of the circumstance is essential to your growth as you discover and become your own #bestmeever .
1.) Recall previous successes
There’s beauty in remembering your previous wins, whether or not they are related to the exact challenging situation on hand. This gives you a glimpse on how winning looks and feels like, something which can truly inspire you along the way. Remember, if you have managed to overcome challenges before, some of which may be bigger than the one you have at present, you can always overcome all those on your plate now. Just remember how you did it and what lesson can you apply now in your current space from that successful experience.
2.) Acknowledge your own progress
Each and every day, by being intentional with your thoughts and action, you become closer and closer to our goals. So take time to look back at where you used to be and appreciate where you are now. Know that a lot of people would want to trade spaces with you so don’t let bad days make you forget how far you’ve gone. You’ve made it this far. No turning back.
3.) Remember the compliments you received
Through the years, others have seen your growth and progress. Recall all those times that your heart overflowed with gratitude due to all the kind words you received from people you know, people you loved and from random strangers. Did someone compliment you about how you look? Did they say how talented you were? How many told you that they look up to you as an inspiration? If you’re looking for validation at present that times are hard, know that you have gotten them way before you needed them now. Hang on to those.
4.) Focus on positive possibilities
Ask yourself “What if?” and enumerate as many positive outcomes you can think about regarding your present concern. Remember, you are only held back by your assumptions that are basically anchored on negative outcomes alone. Don’t let your 50% chance of winning go to waste. Be inspired by hope. That will help you pull through even the most difficult times.
5.) Be kinder to yourself
Instead of beating yourself up during tough times, try giving yourself the kind of love, understanding and support you expect from others. Allow yourself to have a break to rest and recalibrate, to hear the words of encouragement you long to hear, to get back on your feet at your own pace, in your own space as you redefine your next journey. As they say, a little kindness, even during the darkest days, can go a long way. Because it inspires you to be your best.
I hope that these will help you find motivation within as you become genuinely self-empowered.
Looking forward to see you all thrive even more.
I got you guys!
When it rains, it pours.
And my heart overflows.
Words can’t say how grateful I am with how the month of March started for me.
Started off by being chosen as the first featured coach for 2022 by US-based Life Coach Magazine, the second Asian to ever make it to their list. Philippines, represent! So honored indeed.
Then officially launched my global collaboration with the Chatty Mammoth by giving exclusive FREE Access to this awesome platform to the members of my #bestmeever Self-Empowerment Community.
And just now, on the 4th day of March, my latest book, #bestmeever My Life Advice : A Self-Improvement Workbook To Help You Grow Even More, Teach You How To Be Successful And Live Your Best Life , has officially made it to the international best sellers and hot new releases list of global site, Amazon. Super thankful to all those who helped and inspired me along the way. And yeah, if you’re reading this, it’s a sign for you to get your copy now. Hehe.
So yes, you can say I have a lot to celebrate about. And I am sure, so do you.
However, allow me to take this time to acknowledge the everyday simple joys that make my heart smile as well. Yes, it’s not just about the huge milestones or the big wins.
I love the fact that I found time to enjoy my long walks after my coaching sessions.
I appreciate the random gifts my friends sent me.
The weather allowed me to sleep longer than usual.
And the list goes on.
Because of this, I realized that hey, I don’t need a special occasion or a life-changing event to treat myself or appreciate myself more in the process.
Simply because, in my current state and space, I deserve to gift myself too. I don’t have to wait for others to give them to me.
1.) The gift of time
You can always choose to have a break to rest and recalibrate so you can always be your best. Doing such will help prevent burn out and helps keep your stress at bay. Spend it any way you want to: whether grabbing your favorite cup of coffee or enjoying the scenery while taking a long walk — make your “me time” work for you.
2.) New learnings
You only stop growing when you stop learning. So invest on yourself and your growth by learning a new skill or reading to increase your knowledge. Know that you can always be better than what you used to be so allow yourself to maximize your full potential by becoming a curious, dedicated student of life always.
3.) Positive affirmations
If you’re already doing all that you can, with all that you have, that will always be more than enough. And that itself makes you deserving of kind words that you willingly tell others. Acknowledge your own progress. Tell yourself how amazing you are and give yourself a pat on the back. Doing so keeps you inspired, minus the need for others to validate you.
4.) Pampering
I cannot emphasize enough the value of self-care in one’s existence. So always make sure that you indulge in it every now and then. Know that you were never just born to work or to merely please others. So be comfortable enough in putting yourself and your needs first at times because you are just as deserving as anyone else. So go get that facial and massage and binge watch on Netflix as you detox from social media, guilt-free.
5.) Your best
Got you there huh? If you’ve been merely coasting through life, know that you deserve more. Stop holding back. Quite being half-hearted. Just give (and be) your 100%. Allow yourself to become your own #bestmeever so that eventually you get to enjoy life fully and as you become the person you’re meant to be. Don’t be afraid to fail. You, at the very least, deserve to try. And with your best, whatever the result maybe, you have just made yourself proud. Best gift ever.
I hope this list inspires you to gift yourself what is due soon.
Know that I celebrate you always. In always.
Claiming more blessings for us this March!
“I’ve had enough!”
This is the line that most commonly precedes an eruption of emotions.
Truth be told though, it’s not exactly a bad thing.
It means that you are actually setting boundaries and that you have finally realized how important they are in your life.
The key here is to allow yourself to feel, minus any form of judgment towards yourself and the negative emotion involved.
So do away with your personal biases about anger, guilt, shame, sadness, regret, fear or whatever negative emotion you may be feeling at present.
Remember, it’s not bad to feel them…just don’t be them (negative emotion).
Example: You can feel anger …. but, you don’t have to brand yourself as an angry person.
While you’re at it, allow me to share with you the 5 ways you can let go of negative emotions:
Don’t ever deny them or run away from them. Know that you can only resolve negative emotions you have come into terms with. Know them. Feel them. And then reflect: what is making me feel this way? What are these emotions telling me? Note that what they’re telling you, as mentioned before, may not be exactly a bad thing.
2. Question their validity in your present space
Ask yourself this: is what I am feeling based on facts or assumptions? Are these emotions still relevant at this point in my life? Most people tend to operate based on past experiences, including the negative emotions associated with them so it’s best to assess your current space instead and allow yourself to gradually heal from within.
3. Express them out responsibly
Don’t let any form of negativity overwhelm you as you let them all pile up from within. Consider releasing them by crying, shouting, exercising or channeling your feelings towards something that’s constructive, not destructive. Remember that you should always have yourself accountable for your actions so choose to express how you feel with care and consideration, not only for yourself, but for others as well.
4. Talk it out
It’s very important to know that you’re not alone. So reach out to your trusted family, friends or even a mental health professional (when needed) for you to be able to articulate how you feel and get to process and let go of all those negative emotions you have within. In the rare cases that no one is readily available,, you may want to consider journaling or recording a video to help you declutter your mind and heart.
5. Focus on what you can control
We tend to be overwhelmed at times because we try too hard to make things happen like we want them to but we tend to forget that some are actually beyond our control. What you can do though is make a list of stuff under your control and work on them. Anything that’s beyond your control, including the negative emotions associated with each, just let go. Surrendering can do wonders for you if you learn how to trust the process and yourself as well.
I hope this blog post of mine helps you unburden yourself with any emotions that are hindering you from becoming your own #bestmeever .
Like I always say,
if it does not help you grow, let go.
Life has its own ups and downs.
And that’s ok.
I mean of course it will be really nice if life was purely a bed of roses.
But hey, realize that challenging times make life more interesting and they make us appreciate our random blessings more.
Not to mention that they teach us important lessons to help us grow further as we make our own lives more meaningful.
However, I won’t discount the fact that at times, life can be draining.
Things not happening the way we planned, unforeseen unfortunate events which make us fall off track.
All of which leave us feeling frustrated, anxious and unhappy . I think these are the best words to describe how majority felt
during the entire duration of the pandemic. Can definitely relate.
One important thing we tend to forget though: life goes on, no matter what.
1.) It’s only temporary
True. Think about it this way: would what you’re worrying about now still matter in a week, month or year’s time? Our initial reaction is to feel overwhelmed by everything that’s happening around us. By pausing and reflecting on the impact of what initially stressed us, we begin to realize that it’s not really life-changing so to speak after quite sometime. And that allows us to focus more on what we can still do at present to improve our meantime space.
2.) You’ve made it through before
I think you will agree with me on this that there are a lot of things in our lives that we managed to overcome but we tend to acknowledge them when the going gets tough. When you’re feeling sad, now is the best time to remember all those previous experiences which you have gone through and succeeded in the process. If you’re able to withstand that kind of test before, whether it’s surviving a betrayal, a break up, a failure or any other personal tragedy, know that you can do it once more because you have what it takes now: the experience and the lessons learned.
3.) Help is readily available
You’re not alone. You are supported and loved by a lot of people around you. You only need to reach out and let them know. Beyond your usual family, friends or significant others, you will be surprised by how even random strangers will be willing to give you a helping hand. Note though that when things seem really too much for you and you’re breaking down immensely non-stop, it is best to seek the help of a mental health professional so that you will be able to process things better and prevent you from spiralling down further.
4.) There’s always a silver lining
Practicing gratitude can help you get through even the toughest of days. Instead of just focusing on the problem (which actually amplifies it, based on the law of attraction), be intentional in seeking for what can be good about the space you’re in. By doing so, you find renewed value in whatever it is that’s making you sad as of the moment. In the long run, you will realize how that particular situation actually helped you grow more in the process only if you look beyond what is superficial and recognize the valuable lessons hidden underneath.
5.) You are still blessed
Hey, know that life can’t be that bad every single day. So now is the best time to bring out your journal and list down all the things that made you genuinely happy and proud. Remembering the good times during tough days allow you to find inspiration as you continue on with your #bestmeever journey, regardless of what you’re going through at present. Give yourself more credit and appreciate all things that went right in your life by not comparing yourself with others and simply focusing on your wins as they are.
I hope that by reading this you feel much better now.
Time to smile once more.
Your best life awaits.
It’s not always about moving on and forward.
Yup, there are days when you should just let yourself be and accept things as they are.
Know that if nothing’s happening (or things aren’t going as planned), it doesn’t mean that you’re not growing so stop being anxious about it.
What is important to know is that whatever space you are in now, it’s exactly where you are meant to be, because that space will teach you something of value to your personal (or professional) growth.
Any form of resistance won’t do you any good. So open yourself up to possibilities instead: ask yourself what can be beautiful about the space I am in now? Start being intentional in looking for silver linings so that you get to accept and appreciate wherever you are as of the moment.
2. Appreciate your progress
Trust me, you wouldn’t feel stuck in the first place if you haven’t made any movement in your life at all. So take this time to give yourself a pat on the back and see how far you’ve gone. Assure yourself that you’re doing a good job. That will make the waiting game more bearable.
3. Know that this space of yours is temporary
If you take to heart that your situation can change any moment now, how will you handle it differently? So stop beating yourself up and just consider whatever it is you’re going through as a mere pitstop: it’s just preparing you as you recharge and recalibrate yourself to become fit enough to make it to the finish line: of becoming your own #bestmeever .
4. Do what you can
Your current space is not a hopeless one. Know that there will always be something there that you can control. Focus on that and do what you can as you give your all. That will always be more than enough, regardless of the result that you may get. At the end of the day, you (and your growth) will always be worth the try. It’s not about making huge milestones always– even the smallest steps matter. Don’t underestimate the power of sending just one email, reading a couple of pages of your book or even exercising for as little as 5 minutes a day — they can do wonders for you even during the most stressful situations.
5. Learn something new
Feeling stuck is a good sign to take a step back and assess what is it that you need to learn in your life now that will benefit you in the long run as you overcome this space of yours? Think about enhancing your skill sets or beefing up your resume with a new credential. Know that self-improvement was never dependent on the situation one’s in, but rather, it’s based on one’s choices.
So there. I hope these help you feel better while you bask in your current space.
Remember, it’s you won’t be staying there permanently so make the most of it.
