Never say die.
How many times have you heard this in your life time?
Whether someone told you this or you have made this your own mantra, it still serves the same purpose:
To remind you to never give up.
I know, easier said than done.
I mean admittedly, life isn’t exactly perfect at all times. Well, it doesn’t have to be really, for it to be beautiful and meaningful, but this is a totally new context all together.
What I am basically saying is that sometimes life has its own twists and turns and sometimes we find ourselves in situations that are far from ideal, oftentimes very difficult to handle.
And when things go wrong, as they sometimes will, we find ourselves wanting to just throw in the towel, run away and hope and pray by doing so closes that unwanted chapter.
Can relate?
Take this time to think: when was the last time you almost gave up on something? On someone?
What was the compelling reason then?
What was the impact of your decision?
I know that while some of you may think that it was the best decision made during that time, others may not exactly share that sentiment most specially after the dust has settled.
Because in reality, at times, giving up isn’t exactly the best solution.
1. When things are hard
Fact: you can only grow and become your own #bestmeever outside of your comfort zone. Which means when situations seem to be getting tougher and tougher and you feel overwhelmed, the key here is to pause and ground yourself, not run away at the first sight of the problem. Know that things may be hard at the beginning but if you totally commit to overcoming the challenges on hand, they become easier as you learn and grow in the process. Stop resisting and start embracing things as they are because they ae teaching you the valuable lessons you need moving forward. As they say, no pain, no gain.
2. When you truly want something
As Simon Sinek said: “Remember your Why.” You’ve made it this far. Why let everything go to waste by giving up now? Your goals and dreams deserve your 100% commitment so keep going. Remind yourself how much each one means to you and what is the value of achieving your goals and dreams eventually. Make your reasons larger than life so that they don’t get dwarfed by challenges along the way.
3. When it takes a lot of time
Not everything has to happen all at once. Greatness takes time. So should you. Don’t ever hurry growth as you may end up with half-baked results. Know that delays can also be blessings as they serve as your springboard towards improving yourself along the way as you discover the silverlining in each. Be more patient with yourself and your growth. You will fully bloom when it’s time. Until then, enjoy the journey.
4. When others are not supporting you
I’ve said it time and again before and I’ll say it again: you don’t need anyone’s go signal for you to finally give yourself what you truly want and deserve as you pursue your biggest dreams. Don’t let the lack of support from others stop you from what you’re called to do (and be). Be your own biggest cheerleader. Know that once you decide and commit to pushing through, you will eventually meet the right people who deserve to share spaces with you in this new journey of yours and who will support you unconditionally. Let others watch and see, because more often than not, they are secretly hoping that they were brave enough to at least try the way you did in their space. Yep, you are most probably triggering their insecurities.
5. When you have failed before
Your past doesn’t define you. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed before for as long as you keep going and keep improving each time you try again. Do things differently. Seek a new mentor. Learn from your mistakes. Do what you think is best so that this time around you don’t let your past failures haunt you and distract you from your goals. Know that those failures of yours will eventually be someone’s inspiration to try harder in their space and your entire journey will be someone else’s guide to ultimately surviving in this life time. Be the inspiration they (and you, yourself) need.
At the end of the day, remember this:
You will always be worth another chance, another try.
So please, don’t ever give up.
Coaching can be such a rewarding experience.
And this is based on actual experience.
You see, being a full-time professional coach for several years now, I got to maximize what my coaching practice has to offer: being able to work when and where I want to, being able to help people from all over the world get the breakthroughs they deserve while learning, growing, feeling fulfilled and genuinely happy along the way too.
I often get told by people that they want to pursue the same career because time and location freedom matter a lot to them.
I always tell them the hard truth though: it’s not easy to become a full-time professional coach. Because beyond the seemingly luxurious and freedom-filled lifestyle, is a whole lot of hard work on myself and my clients as well.
At the end of the day, it’s all about having a stable number of happy and satisfied clients and numerous testimonials and referrals based on my work as a coach.
Easier said than done though.
Consider the number of competition you have. Their offers. Their price points. And your chosen niche and practice.
What do you think is making it hard for you to secure coaching clients?
People need to know about you and what you do for them to become interested. How are you maximizing your social media platforms? Are you visible in the platforms where your desired clients are? Do you contribute to online discussions on LinkedIn or Facebook communities? Do you speak in reputable conventions? If you’re too shy or you’re quite uncomfortable showing up as a coach, then this is your sign to think again. As the saying goes, to see is to believe.
2. You don’t have a coaching brand
Amidst a sea of professional coaches, it’s very important to have a coaching brand that stands out from the rest. What do you represent in the coaching space? Who’s your market? What and how are you communicating? If you’re still unclear about these, then perhaps it contributes to the confusion your audience has about you. And for those with discriminating tastes, being just like one of the many won’t really make their cut.
3. Your price point needs adjustment
I always say that it’s important to put value on ourselves and in what we do best. In relation to that, we must also be humble enough to acknowledge our capabilities, credentials and body of work at present. This means that the goal is that you must be worth more than what you charge for. So if you’re only beginning in your practice, settle with an entry level rate. Work your way up. Go the extra mile. Let your value increase as you gather receipts of success consistently. Never overpromise. Never overprice. Make sure always that your prospective customers see you as a worthy investment of their time, money and resources. Remember: highly paid coaching superstars don’t happen overnight. So take your time and do the necessary work so you can charge as much.
4. There’s no rapport
A chemistry session presents the perfect opportunity to determine if there’s a fit between the coach and coachee. Question is: how do you present yourself during a chemistry session? Quick tip: never take for granted free sessions such as this. Just show up as your authentic self as you get to know the client better, genuinely listen and ask powerful questions. The goal should not be just to earn per se as you close the deal, but rather, make a positive lasting impression. Don’t go too hard sell. That breaks the intimacy of the session.
5. You don’t have client testimonials
Word of mouth is one of the most powerful form of marketing. Your reputation precedes you. The question is: what can you show to showcase the amazing results that you deliver? Who can vouch for you? What are your clients saying about partnering with you for their growth? Shared experiences matter a lot. After all, investing on one’s self and one’s growth is one of the best investments a person can make so make yourself highly bookable via the good reviews your clients have given you. No amount of online advertisement can compensate for authentic reviews in the long run. So if you’re just starting, give as many free sessions as you can and secure client testimonials from them. Focus on building your credibility first.
Hopefully you can take a step back and assess which of these aspects need work on your end.
Remember to be patient with yourself and your growth as a coach though.
Because when you’re truly ready, your clients will come.
No pain, no gain.
I think this has always been instilled in us while we were growing up.
To make us work harder.
To allow us to endure more.
To purge our character.
However, come to think of it, as I grew older and become more aware, I have realized that pain need not be the be all and end all of everything.
I think achieving our goals should not always be associated with having to endure painful situations first because truth be told, there are times when rewards do come easily, simply because everything is meant to happen that way.
Because even during our happiest times, we can gain a lot too.
From learnings to giving life a second chance. Or a third even.
And suffering becomes merely optional or even non-existent along the way.
This is just one of the myths that I have come to realize: that pain and suffering aren’t exactly 100% essential to one’s growth. Yeah, maybe to some extent yes, but know that we can always choose to grow in a manner that works for us, without necessarily banking on our previous narrative of resilience taught by our elders and society.
Ok, I know that forgiving someone who has done you wrong isn’t exactly easy. Depending on who has caused you pain (the closer the person is to your heart, the more painful it becomes) and the gravity of the action done (break up, falling out, betrayal…you tell me.), it would really take more than just an apology to make things right. Here’s the thing: for me, if you really want to make things right, forgive the person when you’re ready (given your own time, space and conditions) and choose to remember the lessons. This simply means that as you look back at that painful incident, you no longer have heightened emotions towards the person who has done you wrong, but you are quite at peace realizing the lessons which that event has taught you. And no, you don’t have to force yourself “bring back the old times” after forgiving someone if you feel that person no longer deserves to share spaces with you. You can always just choose to co-exist in your own respective spaces, until such time you realize otherwise.
2. You can fully unlove someone when things don’t work out.
In my opinion, no matter how painful the cause of your heartbreak may be, I believe that you can’t really totally unlove someone. If a person already has been a part of your life in a beautiful way, meaning you shared wonderful memories, grew together and inspired you along the way, even if someday things are no longer the same, you just can’t invalidate the existence of that relationship. What you can do though is accept the fact that you can love the other person on a different level instead e.g. from romantic to familial, loving someone from afar, recognizing the existence of the person who was once part of your life and taught you valuable lessons you needed moving forward.
3. An apology is needed to have closure.
Ok, while it would be wonderful to get that sincere apology from the person who has wronged you to allow you to move on, it’s not always the case. Sometimes it comes in too late. At times, it never happens. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to put your life on hold just because you are still waiting for that person who has caused you pain to make amends. Sadly though, we don’t have control over the emotions and actions of others. So it’s never a guarantee. Choose to give yourself the closure that you need and want by really coming into terms what the painful situation is teaching you and how you can use what has risen from this awareness as you start all over again. Your internal dialogue with yourself, as you practice love, compassion and understanding will allow you to close chapters without depending on anyone else, when you are truly able and ready.
4. You have to tolerate the one you love to make the relationship work.
Nope, I don’t think so. Tolerance isn’t exactly the best way to show your love. More so if you are allowing yourself to be the recipient of rude and toxic behavior time and again. You don’t deserve that. Nobody does. And when it comes to relationships, tolerating any form of wrong doing, contrary to the common notion of sacrificing for the sake of the relationship, will only result to bigger problems in the future. If you really want your relationship to work, be brave enough to have that difficult conversation and lay down all your cards, coming from a space of love and honesty and seek for a compromise. That’s how you can really work on your relationship: when both parties are willing to change for the better and exert the same effort in doing what’s best for you both.
5. Outgrowing people means you are ungrateful.
People come into your life for a reason, for a certain season. And the sad truth is, no matter how you try at times, you just can’t have everyone you grew up with play a part in your story as time goes by. Outgrowing people does not make you (or them) a bad person. We all change, in different ways, at different speeds. And that causes the relationships we have to change as well. While we try our best to make things work and make the relationships we have last, sometimes, when we have truly given our all and did our best, it’s ok to just let things be. The relationship you had already fulfilled its purpose – it’s up for you to nurture new ones along the way as you journey towards your best. Be grateful those happened and take all the lessons to heart. Because at the end of the day, the people you’ve outgrown will always be part of your past. And that’s something to cherish knowing that one way or another, they helped you become the person you’re meant to be. Life goes on for everyone.
So now, I hope that with the awareness that you have about the myths surrounding the painful experiences you may have had, you are able to discern fully what will be best for you moving forward.
Simply because:
There’s a whole lot more to gain when you look beyond the pain.
“And the winner is….”
Not me.
Yep, you read it right.
I didn’t win during last night’s ceremony for the 2024 Pinoy Mavericks Awards of CIMB Bank PH.
Don’t get me wrong: the winners were deserving. Amazing stories. Beautiful advocacies. I celebrate you guys! Congratulations again! Such a beautiful experience to have shared spaces with you all. Beyond grateful also to the management of CIMB Bank PH for having me as one of the nominees for the inaugural edition. I am honored to be given a platform to tell my story and advocacy.
Admittedly though, coming from a space of honesty and vulnerability, when my name wasn’t called, it hurt initially.
I really wanted to win for all the people who have shown me their unwavering love and support all through out my journey: from my family, friends, loved ones, listeners, viewers, readers and complete strangers who appreciated my two video entries beautifully edited by Anton , allowing them to bring to life my story and my advocacy anchored on inclusivity and diversity.
But beyond that, I also really wanted to win the cash donation for my charity of choice, Camp Pag-Ayo Inc. , an NGO that advocates stigma reduction through art towards the LGBTQIA+ Community, HIV/AIDS and Mental Health. Despite that, I will still continue to work with them as promised, with or without the grant.
It is what it is.
So after taking several deep breaths and letting everything sink in, I remember telling myself the very thing I frequently tell others when faced with seemingly difficult situations:
Everything happens for a reason.
And that made me smile.
Because looking at what happened from a different perspective, I discovered the 5 learnings I had from losing.
Allow me to share them with you here:
There were criteria for judging. Personal preferences of the judges. And some other factors which may have determined that I wasn’t a fit for whatever it is they were looking for as of the moment. However, I have come to realize that despite that, I still felt the love and support of all the people who rallied for me, the members of the press who praised me and my advocacy and complete strangers who told me that they were vouching for me. And I shouldn’t take those for granted and let them be overshadowed by my initial feeling of disappointment. Even in my practice as a professional coach, I always tell my mentees that they can’t be the coach everyone expects them to be. And that’s perfectly fine. We all have spaces meant for us in this life time. Remember, whatever will be, will be.
2. My best will always be more than enough
People close to my heart know that I am not really competitive as a person. Entering this competition, I just focused on what truly matters most: being able to give my all, do my best and utilize this new platform to share my story of hope to everyone around me. Regardless of the result, for as long as I feel happy, complete and fulfilled with what I have done and what I chose to become in the process, that will always be more than enough. There’s nothing else more than doing one’s best so why stress? Be kinder to yourself guys and just let go and let things be. If you gave your best, you’ve done well. Give yourself a pat on the back.
3. Growth is a matter of choice
I chose to see things in a different perspective: instead of focusing on something I initially felt I lost (but in reality, it’s one I never had to begin with — winning the competition, that is), I chose to focus on what I have gained along the way: an even bigger platform for me, made new friends, new advocacies to support, new learnings and insights, an opportunity to dress up and look good and leave a lasting impression (indulge me on this. I never thought my chosen Fairytopia Modern Filipiniana look would generate so much positive reactions from the people on-ground and online. I got to appreciate my own style bible more. Like I said earlier to a number of people praising me before the awarding ceremony began: win or lose, what’s important is that I look good. LOL)…and the list goes on. Yep, I can definitely say I am growing.
4. Losing now does not invalidate my journey towards my best
Come to think of it: not getting the top prize last night does not make me less capable or insignificant. It does not invalidate the fact that I already have my own share of success in my work as a professional coach and as a best-selling author, and in my personal life as well. It will not, in any way, make me lose the skills I have (and will continuously upgrade and use) and the lasting relationships I have nurtured along the way that have helped me carve my own path in this lifetime. Losing does not define me; it’s not the end of it all. It’s just part of my journey to keep me humble, grounded, mindful and grateful, things we need to practice in this lifetime. There is no need to prove myself to anyone as I feel very secure in my space. My pace. And I intend to keep it that way.
5. Life always goes on
One for the books definitely. But now, it’s time to move on and forward and explore the next chapter. I am a firm believer that one day, I would look back at this event with a smile as I realize how it opened up better opportunities that are really meant for me. And until that day comes, I will always take all the lessons I have learned to heart, while trusting the process, giving my all and being my best while remaining grateful and excited for the wonderful new beginnings ahead.
Come to think of it now: with all these beautiful learnings I gained, I don’t think I lost at all.
I guess I can say in my own way, I actually won.
I celebrate you Self, now and always. In all ways.
This one’s for you.
And sharing with you guys reading this, too.
Thank you all for being part of my journey towards my own #bestmeever .
Cheers to exciting new adventures ahead!
Not yet.
One of the most disheartening phrases to hear when you have a lot of expectations.
On yourself and on others.
Can you relate?
Oftentimes we associate the word “yet” with delays and detours. And everything else that is not fully in alignment with our plans.
That leads us to think that anything with the word “yet” in it means something bad or disappointing.
Think about it: when was the last time you used the word “yet” and how did you respond to it?
When asked about getting your big break?
When asked about being able to finally pursue your passion?
If you finally found the one after dating so many people?
Have you eaten yet?
And yes, I could go on and on asking you questions that you may have found yourself answering with a phrase or sentence that includes the word “yet.”
Now if you just caught yourself answering from a negative space as you see “yet” in a bad light, then this is your sign to inquire within and hopefully realize that it (the use of yet, I mean) is not really all that bad.
In fact, it can actually be just as empowering as the word “yes”, when used (and viewed) differently.
Here are some of the ways you can use it differently:
Example:
Question: Have you achieved your goals for this year?
Answer (seeing it as an end by itself): Not yet. It’s quite hard.
Suggested reframing: Not yet but I truly feel I can make that happen anytime soon as I have new opportunities in the pipeline.
2. Come from a space of curiosity as you explore possibilities.
Example:
Question: Have you checked on the latest trends online about coaching?
Answer (coming from a disinterested space, seeing it as an add on task): Not yet. Busy.
Suggested reframing: I have yet to check on them but please do tell me what they’re about as I think they can be of value.
3. Use it as an empowering qualifier instead
Question: Have you addressed your problem completely?
Answer (triggered): Not yet.
Suggested reframing: Having quite a hard time now yet I am learning a lot and I am very much committed to pushing forward, one step at a time.
I hope these reframes help you see the word “yet” through a positive lens moving forward. Allows you to stress less and focus more on improving yourself and what you can still do at the moment.
Remember, delays and detours will always be part of your own #bestmeever journey. so don’t fret.
The best is YET to come.
And that’s something amazing to look forward to.
“You’re so brave.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“I can’t do that.”
Believe me, I lost count of the number of times I have heard these from those who watched me online, on-air or on-site after giving my talk, doing an interview or sharing bits and pieces about myself during workshops.
It didn’t take me long to realize that being vulnerable isn’t exactly easy for a lot of people apparently.
It’s actually a make or break moment for them.
I mean, come to think of it, who would want to pour his/her heart out, complete with all those heightened emotions he/she tried so hard to hold or fight back, in the presence of many discriminating eyes?
I doubt it if there will be any volunteer at all though. Well, unless I was part of the crowd, maybe I would.
But don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t always that way.
In fact, much like others, I was afraid to show my true emotions, thinking that if I cry or if I share my deepest secrets, others will think that I was weak and they can eventually use what they learned against me when the time calls for it.
Me and my false, assuming narratives to keep myself safe.
Good save there, Myke! Haha!
To be candid, I had that very thought when I posted my advocacy campaign video as one of the finalists for the 2024 Pinoy Mavericks Awards of CIMB Bank Philippines the other day.
I mean, I practically bared my heart and soul there as I told my story about overcoming adversity, which you can see in my Instagram, Facebook and TikTok account. Oh while you’re at it, feel free to spread some love via like, share or comment. And that was a smooth promotion! Haha!
Initially before uploading it, I was thinking what will be the reaction of the people around me but shortly after, upon remembering my purpose of why I wanted to share my story, I just did and got such a warm reception from the public, which greatly helped wash the worries away.
What I am saying is that all misconceptions I had about being vulnerable were merely fabricated by previous experiences while growing up, stories from other people and how social media and society presented it in a bad light.
And that awareness gave me such a liberating experience, which I hope to impart to you guys now.
Seriously, the first step to allowing yourself to be vulnerable is to recognize and accept what really is your truth. Fact: lying makes you feel uncomfortable and you don’t even want to go that direction because that defeats the very concept of vulnerability, which focuses on being able to express yourself as you are, whatever you’re feeling or undergoing as of the moment. To know your truth, try this out: upon waking up, look at yourself in the mirror and embrace the person that you are, minus any idea of what you do or how others perceive you. That’s an eye opening moment indeed. Remember; nothing to fear when you’re holding the truth. It’s never about the reactions of others; it’s about you. And only you.
2. Check on your intentions
Ok. you just can’t be vulnerable for the sake of. Vulnerability isn’t about wanting to stir up drama or just having something to talk about during downtime. It’s about wanting to build relationships and inspire others to work on themselves and whatever they’re going through as you allow yourself to be seen, heard and felt too. Best to reflect on: what do I want to achieve in being vulnerable? Start from there.
3. Prepare yourself fully
Are you in the right state of mind, body and heart? Have you thought about what you’re going to say? Are there no heightened emotions present that can stir up impulsive reactions or behaviors? Are you ready to embrace the consequences of your actions, if any? These are just some of the things you should ask yourself to prepare you for this tell-all experience. Take your time. Don’t pressure yourself nor let anyone around you pressure you into doing it when you’re not ready. Do what’s best for you, always.
4. Start with your inner circle
Start small, as they always say. Choose the people you surround yourself with, those whom you trust the most. Those whom you know will listen to you without judgment and who will accept you whole heartedly for who and what you are. Whether it’s a family member or a close friend, go for it. Practice until it becomes comfortable for you. Then when it gets easier, try expanding your reach while keeping those you trust close so that you will always feel supported and loved, no matter what happens.
5. Visualize your desired outcome
“Why worry about something that’s not even there yet?” — I just love asking this question to others (and to myself too) to knock some sense to them as they anticipate negatively the things that have yet to happen based on assumptions. So instead of wasting your time feeling stressed and anxious, why not just focus your energy into visualizing how you want the entire thing to go for you: people accepting you, living free, being able to make the right decision etc. be as clear as possible and know that when you believe and your intentions as pure, all will be well, just like how you have imagined it. Try asking this to yourself: Now what can go right and how would that look like for me? Exciting, I know.
Remember: to become your own #bestmeever you must be brave and comfortable enough to embrace your authentic, unapologetic, grandest version of yourself. Never be afraid to express and live your truth.
And on that note, I would also want to invite all the members of the LGBTQIA+ community to avail of my FREE Coaching Session for the Pride month, something which I have been doing in the last 4 years so to speak, to help people own their truth and take up space. Interested parties may book here: https://calendly.com/d/cpzv-fwh-v9f/pride-2024-free-coaching-lgbtq
Time to #LiveWithPride.
Good news are meant to be shared.
And that includes your own.
Yup, you and your success also deserve to be recognized.
Feel uncomfortable about it?
Take this time to assess why sharing your wins with others as you celebrate yourself and your success, makes you cringe or hold back in the process.
Is it the judgement of others? Or the ones that you have on yourself?
I know. When reality kicks you in the balls, it can hurt big time. Haha! Now, just breathe and accept what you need to.
While success shaming can be common in some cultures, ours included sadly, it shouldn’t be a reason for you to hold back and keep your wins to yourself.
Let me say this now: sharing your wins to celebrate yourself and your growth does not make you arrogant.
There, I have said it.
I mean, for as long as you are clear with your intentions, meaning you just want to appreciate yourself for a job well done because you love yourself that much, how others may react to you in the process shouldn’t matter.
Remember, when people see you as being boastful as you share what truly matters to you, it’s probably them projecting their own insecurities and pains on you. And that’s not your problem at all so don’t even bother wasting your time and energy explaining yourself to them.
At this point, you might think that it takes quite a lot of inner work to become comfortable and secure when celebrating one’s self and sharing your wins with others.
Do I even have to stress out the importance of this one? Haha! Seriously though, always remember that much like everyone else, you are very much deserving to acknowledge yourself and your wins, like how you willingly do for others. You matter just as much and you deserve to be seen, heard and felt. Giving yourself what is due was never optional nor dependent on the approval of others to begin with.
2. You motivate yourself to grow more
Becoming more mindful about yourself and your progress inspires you to go further in your own #bestmeever journey, no matter how that may look like for you. Being able to appreciate your growth and letting others know and celebrate with you empowers you to become the person you’re meant to be, without judgment or fear.
3. You inspire others
For all you know, somewhere out there, someone looks up to you as an inspiration. So never let that person down. Celebrate yourself and your wins and allow yourself to take up space wherever you are in this world because that empowers others to do the same: to live life fully, and celebrate themselves as they are, authentically and unapologetically. Start that movement now.
4. You discover who genuinely supports you
An eye opener indeed. When you get to acknowledge yourself and your wins comfortably coming from the purest intentions of expressing your self-love and wanting to inspire others too, you will be surprised at times that not everyone will be happy for you, including those whom you expected to have your back. People change. And sometimes, one’s success can trigger that, especially if not their own and they want the same for themselves but are not able to achieve it accordingly for whatever reason. As you celebrate yourself and your wins, take note of the people who don’t clap for you. It’s telling you that you’re not on the same space and that you don’t have to accommodate them ever in yours. Respect yourself enough to walk away from people who don’t acknowledge your worth. It was never about them in the first place. One of the best decisions I have ever made in my life was to realize that I can’t please everyone and that their reactions can never define my worth. Thus, I walked away from them with my head up high, and a genuine smile on my face and in my heart, knowing I am left with people who genuinely love and support me. Life goes on.
5. You open up opportunities for yourself
Fact: others won’t know how amazing you are if you don’t show them. Let your work speak for itself. As you celebrate yourself and your wins, you allow others to take notice of what you’re good at and that allows you to align yourself with opportunities present in your network and beyond. Word of mouth is still the best form of marketing so allow people around you to vouch for you accordingly by sharing with them openly about your own progress in your journey, whether personally or professionally. Who knows, the next big break you want and need may just be around the corner, from one of those who has learned about you and your greatness. For me, whenever I shared my wins on social media, I received inquiries for my services and interviews across multimedia platforms, simply because people have taken notice of what I was capable of and the value I can add to their space. I think really it’s all about how you share things, hopefully in the most genuine way with the clearest intentions. Take the chance. It will be worth it.
Hopefully now, after reading this, you become more at peace with celebrating yourself and your wins.
Nothing to lose. More to gain.
Keep growing. And keep sharing.
Quick question: what’s one decision you regret making in your life?
Oops, I think I hit a nerve there.
Ok, before you palpitate too much, know that you’re not alone.
I mean one way or another, as we age, we realize that not all the decisions we made in our lives worked for us.
So stop judging yourself first and just inquire within: how did that “wrong” decision impact your life?
Breathe. Recognize. And then let go.
You are no longer in that space now. And hopefully you learned along the way.
Don’t let those mistakes you’ve made before define who and what you can still be.
Honor their role in your journey but never let them take the lead.
After all, it’s all about learning and growing from that experience which matters most.
Might be painful at times, but definitely worth it in the end if you allow yourself to take responsibility for your decisions there after.
And by taking responsibility I mean that this time around, you will be able to make better decisions for yourself as you become more mindful of your thoughts and feelings.
1.) Check on your present space
It’s very important to become aware of your current space. What are the facts surrounding you? How do you feel? What’s on your mind exactly? Are you 100% present in the now? Remember, you can only make better decisions when you have fully acknowledged where you are coming from and the exact space you’re in. Ideally, you are in neutral grounds, free from stress and pressure with stable emotions and focused on the decision making on hand.
2.) Be clear on your objectives
Knowing why you’re making a certain decision and what you want to achieve in doing so will help you align your reasoning. Be as specific as possible: don’t just say “I just want to be happy.” ; qualify it. What does that mean? How does that look like for you? Being specific allows you to draw a mental and emotional note based on the clarity of what you really want from the decision you’re about to make.
3.) Identify your biases
Be mindful of past experiences that have created judgment about the dilemma on hand and on yourself. List down any unnecessary thoughts that will distract you along the way. Goal is to become as objective as possible so that your decision will be based on facts and not on trauma or heightened emotions.
4.) List down the pros and cons of your decision
I know. Quite basic. But seriously, when done correctly, it can do wonders for you. When I say correctly, I mean writing things as they are, without overthinking and without self-editing, so that you get to appreciate the real value they give accordingly. Try to catch yourself when you are trying your best to lean towards a certain decision intentionally by sugar coating the cons consciously. Trust me, the more you minimize either side, the more unsound your decision will become.
5.) Acknowledge how you genuinely feel after seeing the facts
Your feelings matter just as much. Never invalidate them when making decisions. However, what is best here is to assess them based on the facts you have on hand. Impulsive decisions normally don’t have factual support so at times they can wreck havoc there after. So after gathering enough data, assess how you truly feel about the decision you’re about to make. In my case, I always ask myself this question: what decision will make me feel happy, complete and fulfilled? Works for me.
At the end of the day, you know what’s best for you.
Remember, everything happens for a reason.
And decisions, whether good or bad, only become better when you learn and grow from them as you take responsibility.
May your decisions reflect the life you truly want and deserve soon.
Keep living.
This quote from the movie “A Man Called Otto” really touched my heart in a different way.
Ok so if you haven’t seen this life changing film yet starring Tom Hanks, then this is your sign to finally do so. It’s basically a film about moving on and forward after a traumatic event.
I don’t want to preempt anything else except that powerful line there from that film because you deserve to enjoy the movie by yourself to fully appreciate the plot and the life lessons in between.
To be candid about it, I felt that it was something really serendipitous as I found this film while onboard my flight back to Manila.
Very much in alignment for my theme this year which is all about transformation.
You see, I made myself a promise that upon returning from the holidays, I will work on myself once more, both personally and professionally because I believe that by allowing myself to grow and to change, I inspire others to do the same.
Change can be both exciting and scary at the same time. However, by embracing the unknown and uncomfortable fully, we allow ourselves to grow into the person that we are meant to be.
And that means being able to push forward, no matter how hard times may be as you focus on what you really want for yourself, coming from a space of honesty and vulnerability.
Easier said than done I know. However, it’s very much possible. You just have to be mentally resilient as you work on yourself and manage your emotions so you don’t fall into the trap of spiraling down as you become overwhelmed by things happening around you and within you.
1.) When someone you love dies
I know it hurts. So much. Whether it’s a member of your family, a friend or your significant other, the loss can be so overwhelming. The key here is to take time to grieve and allow yourself to sit comfortably with your emotions so you can process them better. However, it is also very important to know that it’s only their physical form that died; the beautiful memories you have created will continue to live on for as long as you keep them close to your heart. Take your time to heal and do what’s best for you as you come into terms with what is here and now. In the process of doing so, keep living. Your departed loved ones would have wanted you to do just that because know that wherever they may be now, they will always be a part of you and they would want to see you go on with your life happily eventually.
2.) When you experience failure
Losing can sometimes feel it’s the end of the world specially if you’ve already given your all and done your best. Cheer up. It shouldn’t be. Keep living. Think about it this way: it’s a reminder that there’s still room for improvement or something better is in store for you. Never doubt yourself and your capabilities. You will always be more than enough. Let the dust settle first and then pick yourself up and start all over again. Don’t stop until your proud. Because someday, I am quite sure, you will be if you only commit to moving on and forward from that painful loss.
3.) When you experience a break up
Fact: it’s very difficult to move on from a relationship that ended when you have gotten used to being with that other person whom you thought you will share the rest of your life with. However, please take to heart that it had to happen for a reason. Whether it’s about you finally realizing your worth and what you truly deserve or perhaps for you to realize what you have been neglecting for the longest time, embrace the lessons that go with it as you keep living. Not everyone has to play a part in your story but it doesn’t mean that you won’t have your own happily ever after eventually. Trust the process and your journey towards finding the love that’s meant to be.
4.) When you experience delays
Waiting can be such an agonizing experience. I mean, who wants to bask in uncertainty right? However, it doesn’t mean that as you wait for something to come to fruition, your life stops with it. Keep living. Make the most of the time you have exploring other options while improving yourself along the way. Stressing over the wait won’t hasten the process anyway so might as well focus on just being productive right? Trust me, your patience will pay off eventually.
5.) When you have reached a certain level of success
Being on cloud nine is such a wonderful feeling don’t you think? I mean who doesn’t want to experience that different high when you reach your goals? Don’t get me wrong, it’s ok to celebrate. However, it is also important to note to never let it get into your head. Keep living. Stay grounded. Know that everything is temporary. Enjoy while it’s there and celebrate yourself but never lose track of what truly matters most: yourself, your wellbeing and the beautiful relationships you kept that helped you achieve that success.
By this time I know you finally got my point across.
Never make life, whatever happens to you along the way, make you forget how amazing it is and what beautiful things still lie ahead for you.
Because like I always say,
Life goes on. So can you.
Keep living.
Never too late to start a new adventure and make a dream come true.
My mantra ever since.
This is actually coming from my own experience. I never did let my age get in the way of my dreams.
Imagine: transitioning careers at age 36. Starting from scratch. Experiencing rejections time and again because I was a newbie in the coaching practice back then. My 15 solid years of experience in advertising and marketing did not really matter to my prospects then in search of a professional coach for them.
Yes, it was a very humbling, frustrating and life-changing experience.
But I am glad I pushed through.
Because if I let the opinions of others, the rejections and all the challenges that came my way back then, I wouldn’t be my own #bestmeever now: a multi-awarded global master coach with international best selling books and viral thought leadership articles to match.
I say all of these not to brag but to celebrate the wonderful journey it has been and how beautiful transitions can be if you willingly embrace it.
Ok, just to be clear: life transitions don’t just pertain to your new chosen career. It can also mean changing relationships, pursuing a different passion, or exploring an unfamiliar aspect of yourself.
And it can happen at any age, not necessarily when your hair turns gray. The good thing about it though is that: know that it’s ok.
Finding yourself at the crossroads of your life is normal. It means you’re actually preparing yourself to grow even more so stop beating yourself up. Transitioning does not mean you’re falling behind; it actually means you’re finally ready to take that first step to moving forward and becoming the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
Mind you though: transitioning is never easy. I mean seriously, I don’t know anyone who finds uncertainty and unfamiliarity as something joyful. Haha! Kidding aside though, more than just wanting it for yourself, changing the space you’re in requires you to be fully committed and to do the work needed, no matter what.
Fear limits you and your dreams and giving in to it makes you settle for what you truly deserve. So it’s best to reflect on this question, coming from a space of courage and vulnerability instead so that you may finally identify what you truly want best. Make sure to make it as specific as possible e.g. I want to be happy (like how? what’s your space like? what will be the basis?) so that you have a clear vision of what you aspire to be.
2. Why do I want that transition for myself?
Remembering your own “why” grounds you and helps you through the darkest days. Be really honest about the value of your decision so that you get to hold on to your reasons along the way as you turn your “why” to “why not”? Acknowledge how transitioning will make you feel and how it will help you live your purpose, whatever it may be.
3. What’s stopping me from moving forward with the transition I want for myself?
Fear. Finances. Responsibilities. Unworthiness. Health. Time. Space. All these and more. The goal here is to identify the things holding you back so you can process them accordingly based on what you can control and do away with those that you can’t. At the end of the day, the only thing that can really stop you is yourself, because everything else has a solution, one way or another. Remember: if you really want something, nothing can stand in your way.
4. How committed am I to my transition?
It’s a life-changing decision you have to make for yourself so you have to be 100% in. No halfway thoughts. There will be good days and bad days and you must be willing to embrace both equally. At the end of the day, know that i’ll be worth it.
5. How can I go about my desired transition?
Planning is key. You don’t just go into a new battle without carefully considering your options and the next steps that you should take. Write down your course of action, taking into consideration the step by step process you can go about to achieve your desired results: what do you need to do? who can help you? when? just some of the questions to guide you towards creating your road map to the new you.
I hope these questions can help prepare you for your upcoming transition, whatever that may look like for you.
Remember this always: You are just one decision away from your best life. Make it count.
Grow happily, Unicorn.
