It’s more than just a very long vacation.
The Holy Week for Catholics, like myself, that is.
More than the planned (or unplanned) trips and getaways here and there, the Holy Week actually presents a beautiful opportunity to reflect and recalibrate, as you do away with things (and people) that stress you or make you feel burned out.
For some, it’s a time to relieve beautiful family traditions as they visit numerous churches and attend various religious gatherings. For others, it’s the perfect time to do spring cleaning and decluttering their lives in general.
For me, this year, I have decided to spend it reflecting as I fully recharge at home so that I will be ready in the weeks to come, based on my full schedule and a number of deliverables. I see it as a beautiful time to inquire within and realize the space I am in so that I may stay empowered and inspired to do all things that make my heart and soul genuinely happy.
1.) Where am I now at this point in my life?
I love this question. It helps me identify the exact space I am in. What I do is scan all aspects of my life e.g. relationships, career, passion, financial, dreams etc. and honestly identify how I feel about them and acknowledge how far I have gone in the process. I allow myself to celebrate my progress while identifying what beautiful improvements I can still make as I journey towards my own #bestmeever . Having a clear picture of your starting point allows you to ground yourself and accept the space you’re in, both of which essential to your own growth.
2.) What changes do I want in my life?
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more or being more. Take time to reflect and recognize what are the things that you want to experience in your space differently. Identify the things that can make you happier and list them down. Justify why they are essential to your life now and note how they can change you for the better. Remember: change is inevitable and growth is a matter of choice, so make sure you consistently focus on your self-improvement as you embrace change whole heartedly.
3.) What is no longer working for me?
Sometimes you out grow people, things, your environment and situations. And that’s perfectly ok. So now, assessing the space you’re in: what no longer sparks joy or no longer adds value or inspiration? By recognizing what no longer works for you, allows you to clear the space it occupies as you make room for new, beautiful and relevant things (or people) to come into your life.
4.) What can I do now that’s under my control?
Fact: you can’t control everything around you. And that’s ok. What must you focus on now (after knowing all the things that make you happy and the things that no longer work for you) that’s under your control? What must you let go of to make room for new and better experiences? What can you start in your own way now? What must you initially park? It’s all about decluttering your life and identifying your priorities and working on them.
5.) How can I commit to myself and my plans better?
Having a solid plan can only take you so far in your journey. Commitment is key. Give yourself a definite deadline with expected milestones so that you can be guided accordingly. You already know your “what”, “why” and “how”…it’s now time to ask yourself “when” you intend to turn all your plans to reality. Yes, you are in control.
I hope these questions help you gain clarity during the Holy Week.
As you make long lasting, beautiful changes in your life there after.
Fact: Not yet does not mean never.
Things will happen when it’s time.
So why do we stress over delays too much?
Why do we let ourselves suffer in the process of waiting for the best that’s yet to come?
Why do we always equate delays with something that can hold us back from achieving our dreams.
Truth be told though, delays can be blessings in disguise.
We just have to look beyond what’s not yet happening as of the moment.
And see the beauty that lies behind it.
Sounds easier said than done right?
I feel you. I know how agonizing it is to wait endlessly for that once in a life time opportunity, that trip you planned for so long, that promotion you’ve always wanted, the love of your life, among others.
Simply because we always want to be in control of our lives.
And even on things that are well beyond our sphere of influence.
Don’t ever deny the presence of delays in your life. Remember, you can’t control everything. Resisting it and seeing delays as something detrimental to your growth will only add up to more stress that you have. So learn to be comfortable with it and know that everything happens for a reason. Believe in the concept of perfect timing.
2. Consider it as a learning experience
I always say, good or bad, any experience can teach you valuable lessons you need to thrive in your life there after. Be intentional in seeking what you need to know so that you can eventually become the person you’re meant to be. Consider these questions: what is making me impatient? What fears do I have? What can I do differently to improve the waiting time? Continue to discover those beautiful answers that you need in your current space.
3. Maximize the waiting time
While delays can sometimes be inevitable, you can always choose to make your waiting time more bearable. Instead of focusing on what’s not yet happening, allow yourself to explore on what else you can do so that you can remain happily productive as you wait. Do another pending assignment, catch on that Netflix series you missed, bond with family and friends…life goes on even if some aspects of it may have been paused as of the moment.
4. Stop overthinking
Like seriously. Formulating 101 negative narratives won’t speed up the process. Delays happen. That’s it. You don’t have to create justifications based on assumptions that won’t help at present. Remember, the goal is for you to be able to navigate through delays beautifully, not find faults.
5. Visualize desired outcome
If you spend the same amount of time and energy you used in ranting about delays and everything else that went wrong with it , in visualizing the ideal results you want, you are able to save yourself from the unnecessary stress. Negative thoughts won’t give you positive results, so might as well become intentional in focusing on your desired outcome to ensure that you are in a healthy space.
So there. I hope these tips help you deal with delays better.
Always remember, good things take time.
So take the time as you wait, to be good to yourself too.
There are good days and bad days.
And that’s perfectly ok.
We celebrate ourselves and our achievements during days when things are going as planned or when they went beyond our expectations in a good way.
However, there are also days when nothing seems to go right and we are left feeling stressed, anxious worried and overwhelmed with a lot of negative emotions.
It is during those days that we seek others for support and validation, hoping to help ease the pain and worries we are experiencing.
Well in the ideal setting, you will have a lot of people willing to give you a hand and whole heartedly support you.
But what if your cheerleaders are not present? How do you intend to move on and forward on your own?
This is where becoming motivated within comes into play.
To be truly self-empowered and secured by yourself, regardless of the circumstance is essential to your growth as you discover and become your own #bestmeever .
1.) Recall previous successes
There’s beauty in remembering your previous wins, whether or not they are related to the exact challenging situation on hand. This gives you a glimpse on how winning looks and feels like, something which can truly inspire you along the way. Remember, if you have managed to overcome challenges before, some of which may be bigger than the one you have at present, you can always overcome all those on your plate now. Just remember how you did it and what lesson can you apply now in your current space from that successful experience.
2.) Acknowledge your own progress
Each and every day, by being intentional with your thoughts and action, you become closer and closer to our goals. So take time to look back at where you used to be and appreciate where you are now. Know that a lot of people would want to trade spaces with you so don’t let bad days make you forget how far you’ve gone. You’ve made it this far. No turning back.
3.) Remember the compliments you received
Through the years, others have seen your growth and progress. Recall all those times that your heart overflowed with gratitude due to all the kind words you received from people you know, people you loved and from random strangers. Did someone compliment you about how you look? Did they say how talented you were? How many told you that they look up to you as an inspiration? If you’re looking for validation at present that times are hard, know that you have gotten them way before you needed them now. Hang on to those.
4.) Focus on positive possibilities
Ask yourself “What if?” and enumerate as many positive outcomes you can think about regarding your present concern. Remember, you are only held back by your assumptions that are basically anchored on negative outcomes alone. Don’t let your 50% chance of winning go to waste. Be inspired by hope. That will help you pull through even the most difficult times.
5.) Be kinder to yourself
Instead of beating yourself up during tough times, try giving yourself the kind of love, understanding and support you expect from others. Allow yourself to have a break to rest and recalibrate, to hear the words of encouragement you long to hear, to get back on your feet at your own pace, in your own space as you redefine your next journey. As they say, a little kindness, even during the darkest days, can go a long way. Because it inspires you to be your best.
I hope that these will help you find motivation within as you become genuinely self-empowered.
Looking forward to see you all thrive even more.
I got you guys!
When it rains, it pours.
And my heart overflows.
Words can’t say how grateful I am with how the month of March started for me.
Started off by being chosen as the first featured coach for 2022 by US-based Life Coach Magazine, the second Asian to ever make it to their list. Philippines, represent! So honored indeed.
Then officially launched my global collaboration with the Chatty Mammoth by giving exclusive FREE Access to this awesome platform to the members of my #bestmeever Self-Empowerment Community.
And just now, on the 4th day of March, my latest book, #bestmeever My Life Advice : A Self-Improvement Workbook To Help You Grow Even More, Teach You How To Be Successful And Live Your Best Life , has officially made it to the international best sellers and hot new releases list of global site, Amazon. Super thankful to all those who helped and inspired me along the way. And yeah, if you’re reading this, it’s a sign for you to get your copy now. Hehe.
So yes, you can say I have a lot to celebrate about. And I am sure, so do you.
However, allow me to take this time to acknowledge the everyday simple joys that make my heart smile as well. Yes, it’s not just about the huge milestones or the big wins.
I love the fact that I found time to enjoy my long walks after my coaching sessions.
I appreciate the random gifts my friends sent me.
The weather allowed me to sleep longer than usual.
And the list goes on.
Because of this, I realized that hey, I don’t need a special occasion or a life-changing event to treat myself or appreciate myself more in the process.
Simply because, in my current state and space, I deserve to gift myself too. I don’t have to wait for others to give them to me.
1.) The gift of time
You can always choose to have a break to rest and recalibrate so you can always be your best. Doing such will help prevent burn out and helps keep your stress at bay. Spend it any way you want to: whether grabbing your favorite cup of coffee or enjoying the scenery while taking a long walk — make your “me time” work for you.
2.) New learnings
You only stop growing when you stop learning. So invest on yourself and your growth by learning a new skill or reading to increase your knowledge. Know that you can always be better than what you used to be so allow yourself to maximize your full potential by becoming a curious, dedicated student of life always.
3.) Positive affirmations
If you’re already doing all that you can, with all that you have, that will always be more than enough. And that itself makes you deserving of kind words that you willingly tell others. Acknowledge your own progress. Tell yourself how amazing you are and give yourself a pat on the back. Doing so keeps you inspired, minus the need for others to validate you.
4.) Pampering
I cannot emphasize enough the value of self-care in one’s existence. So always make sure that you indulge in it every now and then. Know that you were never just born to work or to merely please others. So be comfortable enough in putting yourself and your needs first at times because you are just as deserving as anyone else. So go get that facial and massage and binge watch on Netflix as you detox from social media, guilt-free.
5.) Your best
Got you there huh? If you’ve been merely coasting through life, know that you deserve more. Stop holding back. Quite being half-hearted. Just give (and be) your 100%. Allow yourself to become your own #bestmeever so that eventually you get to enjoy life fully and as you become the person you’re meant to be. Don’t be afraid to fail. You, at the very least, deserve to try. And with your best, whatever the result maybe, you have just made yourself proud. Best gift ever.
I hope this list inspires you to gift yourself what is due soon.
Know that I celebrate you always. In always.
Claiming more blessings for us this March!
“I’ve had enough!”
This is the line that most commonly precedes an eruption of emotions.
Truth be told though, it’s not exactly a bad thing.
It means that you are actually setting boundaries and that you have finally realized how important they are in your life.
The key here is to allow yourself to feel, minus any form of judgment towards yourself and the negative emotion involved.
So do away with your personal biases about anger, guilt, shame, sadness, regret, fear or whatever negative emotion you may be feeling at present.
Remember, it’s not bad to feel them…just don’t be them (negative emotion).
Example: You can feel anger …. but, you don’t have to brand yourself as an angry person.
While you’re at it, allow me to share with you the 5 ways you can let go of negative emotions:
Don’t ever deny them or run away from them. Know that you can only resolve negative emotions you have come into terms with. Know them. Feel them. And then reflect: what is making me feel this way? What are these emotions telling me? Note that what they’re telling you, as mentioned before, may not be exactly a bad thing.
2. Question their validity in your present space
Ask yourself this: is what I am feeling based on facts or assumptions? Are these emotions still relevant at this point in my life? Most people tend to operate based on past experiences, including the negative emotions associated with them so it’s best to assess your current space instead and allow yourself to gradually heal from within.
3. Express them out responsibly
Don’t let any form of negativity overwhelm you as you let them all pile up from within. Consider releasing them by crying, shouting, exercising or channeling your feelings towards something that’s constructive, not destructive. Remember that you should always have yourself accountable for your actions so choose to express how you feel with care and consideration, not only for yourself, but for others as well.
4. Talk it out
It’s very important to know that you’re not alone. So reach out to your trusted family, friends or even a mental health professional (when needed) for you to be able to articulate how you feel and get to process and let go of all those negative emotions you have within. In the rare cases that no one is readily available,, you may want to consider journaling or recording a video to help you declutter your mind and heart.
5. Focus on what you can control
We tend to be overwhelmed at times because we try too hard to make things happen like we want them to but we tend to forget that some are actually beyond our control. What you can do though is make a list of stuff under your control and work on them. Anything that’s beyond your control, including the negative emotions associated with each, just let go. Surrendering can do wonders for you if you learn how to trust the process and yourself as well.
I hope this blog post of mine helps you unburden yourself with any emotions that are hindering you from becoming your own #bestmeever .
Like I always say,
if it does not help you grow, let go.
First things first:
Happy new year everyone!
I hope that you are just as excited as I am to welcome 2022 with open arms, mind and heart
Don’t you just love the gift of new beginnings?
I mean knowing that we made it this far, it’s not game over for us.
Life goes on. It always does.
So do away with being anxious and worried about the things to come. Remember, no matter how challenging last year may have been, things can be different now.
As we bid 2021 good bye, it’s time for us to embrace this new chapter of ours with much hope and positivity.
So it’s only fitting that we start what we have on our bucket list and our new year’s resolutions.
I actually started my day taking a long walk, enjoying the first sunrise of the year in this beautiful beach that I am at.
I took time to reflect and own the space I was in (and it was good thing that the beach was not that crowded then (see picture for reference). It’s so nice to feel grounded and empowered to be able to start the year on a clean slate as I thought of all the things I can begin with this year.
I want to share that experience with you guys.
There you go.
So what will you start on this year?
Whatever it is, start with all your heart.
Claiming this happier, healthier and more beautiful 2022 for all of us as we own our space.
When you’re ready to start on your journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever , message me.
Let’s make this year the best one yet.
Not everything (or everyone) deserves to be in your space.
And that’s perfectly ok.
You don’t have to force yourself to hold on to things or people which do not spark joy.
You don’t have to settle in a space that does not inspire growth.
And yes, you have that power of choice to turn your life around.
As the year draws to a close in a couple of days, now is actually the best time to reflect about what you finally need to let go of so that next year will be far better.
I have spent the last few weeks reflecting and this is the list I have come up with.
It was quite amusing coming to realize why I have tolerated them for the longest time thinking that they were normal or that I needed them when fact is, I can actually live without them and doing such will allow me to flourish more.
1.The drama
Oh my gosh, time and again I have been invited to participate in the drama of other people, whether as a by stander or an actual character in their story. I thought I was helping by being there only to realize that I only wanted to be there because subconciously I was being validated for having that sense of belongingness. Crazy I know. When I caught myself, I immediately distanced myself at the onset of any form of drama that is thrown my way. And yes, I am now living my own story, with my happily ever after.
2.) The extreme pressure on yourself
It’s a fact that the society has certain standards to be met and that people have a lot of expectations about me and what I do. That only adds up to the pressure I used to give myself, wanting to live up to my own ideals in harmony with those of others. Not good for me. I realized that I was practically driving myself to getting burned out and unhappy about what I was doing because I was doing all them out of obligation to comply rather than inspiration. So what I did though was loosen up: I allowed myself to go at my own pace, redefined my concept of productivity and allowed myself to find joy outside of what i do, and realize through happiness from within. End result: I actually became happier and my productivity is maximized even as I take certain days off.
3.) The excuses
I know that at some point, having excuses were meant to protect myself from an unfamiliar or unpleasant situation. However, come to think of it, what is making it difficult for me to express myself in black or white was the need to please by sugarcoating my words. When I arrested that false notion, I am pleasantly surprised that people loved my honesty and authenticity and that it was ok to just go do what feels right as long as I will be taking responsibility for my actions. The goal goes beyond succeeding in a new endeavor, but rather maximizing and growing from each and every experience that’s not limited by any form of excuse. At the end of the day, only my excuses and self-doubts can limit me. And I won’t let that happen. Not today, Satan. Haha!
4.) Your what could have beens
I know that at times we tend to look back at the past and succumb to the overwhelming thoughts of being able to do so much more before. These thoughts leave us doubting ourselves in the process at present. Fact though is that we all can’t turn back time. So upon reflecting, I personally just focused on what I have here and now and how I can make the most of it. It’s not about what could have been, maybe because it’s meant to be like that and that’s something I need to be able to accept. My new practice is to focus on what can still be as I do everything under my control so that I look at all past events, regardless of the results with much gratitude and the future, with much optimism.
5.) Your excess baggage
Yaaasss to this! I mean we all have been through a lot and perhaps even going through so much more at present. But hey, holding on to all these things and repeating them to ourselves over and over again will not help us find the right solution to them and will only lead to more anxiety. Clearing our minds and focusing on what we can still do, will. Don’t let your excess baggage distort your future journey. Travel light. Trust me on this. Everything becomes more enjoyable there after, provided you know where you want to go next and you are committed to make that happen fully.
I hope these help you reflect on your current space. If you’re having a hard time wrapping things up this year as you figure out what you can live without, then worry not. Will be launching my free workshop in my self-empowerment community this December so make sure to register in advance because limited slots are available so that next year, as you start it, will definitely your best year ever.
It’s ok not to be ok.
My exact space in the last 23 days.
This may come as a surprise for a lot of people because they still saw me working, smiling, coaching and inspiring others to become their best.
However, I told those who were really close to me about my real state then:
That I was tired. Sad. Burned out. Anxious.
Definitely not my own #bestmeever . The irony of it all. Haha!
I wanted to share this with you all to allow you to be comfortable with yourself and how you feel and help you manage your emotions and mental state along the way.
I am just very fortunate that I have a solid support system and I knew how to coach myself in between sessions with my own master coach.
I know though that it may be difficult for others so hopefully this blog post of mine can help you. One small step can make a very big difference in your life now, or in someone else’s who might be in the same dark space at present.
What you’re feeling is valid whether it’s sadness, anger, grief, or whatever it is. . Don’t invalidate it. Remember, the more you resist it, the more it will persist. Come from a space of humility and honesty and allow yourself to feel accordingly. That way you will be able to process your emotions better. Express your emotions accordingly: cry if you must, release your anger (or any other emotion) mindfully.
2. Give yourself a break
More than ever, now is the best time to rest. Don’t feel guilty for giving yourself a break. You can always take responsibility for your actions there after. What is important now is that you don’t force yourself to be highly productive when you’re not your best. You’ll only compromise your output and you’ll feel more frustrated there after. Take a day or two off or even a week. You know yourself better. Just make sure that you endorse everything properly and you explain clearly to all those who will be affected. In my case, I told my clients that I will be coaching remotely by the beach and I will be accepting less sessions in the process so I can have my much-needed time off, one I never did allow myself before when the whole pandemic started, because you guessed it, work calls.
3. Do things you love
I went to the beach because it’s my happy place. I made it a point to consistently do long walks every morning and evening while reflecting and coaching myself in the process. In your case, treat yourself to what makes your heart skip a beat, something outside of your usual routine and one that can make you appreciate yourself and your new space more. What is important here is that you allow yourself to grow in harmony with the present as you gain clarity about what’s causing your emotional and mental turmoil.
4. Talk it out
Don’t be afraid and ashamed to reach out to people whom you trust fully. Have your own support group. In my case, I only told the people who were closest to me and my coach that I wasn’t really in a good space. What I liked was that all of them didn’t try to give me any advice or forced me to have a coaching session immediately. They just told me to take my time off and talk to them when ready. And so I did. That allowed me to be able to feel secured all through out my personal journey, knowing that I am supported and loved accordingly. One thing though: it is advisable that you don’t have your meltdown on social media because at times that becomes a show for others more than just a concern. When at the brink of giving up, reach out. Even to a mental health professional or a coach to help you manage everything better.
5. Journal daily
Write down your thoughts. Whatever they may be. This mental dump will help clear your mind and allow you to unburden yourself in the process and have something to look back at when things finally fall into place eventually after the storm. Feel free to express your emotions accordingly with each thought and recognize breakthroughs and small wins along the way as you celebrate them. I am a firm believer that no matter how bad things may seem at present, there will always be a beautiful silver lining. You just have to be intentional in seeking the good beyond what’s in front of you. Yes, that’s very much possible so that you get to realize how blessed you are to begin with.
I hope these tips help you when you’re feeling down. Remember that’s only temporary.
Because soon, you’ll find yourself in a happier space again.
Been there. Done those. And I am now ok.
Hang on. I got you!
According to an ad by Adidas for their campaign against patronizing fake products:
Fake hurts real.
And I couldn’t agree more.
At times people try to fake things to make them look more appealing, more successful, more ideal.
And in the pursuit of wanting to belong and accepted, they forget that in the long run, faking it does not really allow one to make it.
In fact, at times, faking it can cause one to have a breakdown rather than his/her much wanted breakthrough.
That’s not exactly an ideal space to be caught in.
Because rather than avoiding the real issue by padding on “perfect patches” to create an ideal life, what is key here is to accept one’s self whole and love one’s self fully to be truly empowered from within.
At the end of the day, becoming one’s #bestmeever is all about anchoring one’s self on authenticity and integrity.
Do not ever try to mask your emotions just to get the approval of others or to become someone’s aspirations. Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is a superpower that few people have. Never invalidate how you feel or see yourself as weak when you cry. Know that it takes a whole lot of strength to acknowledge one’s emotions and doing such allows you to process them fully and address what is really needed beyond the fake smiles (or tears). It’s ok not to be ok and you are allowed to cry if needed. Know that people who are really true to you will love and accept you for who and what you are, no matter how you feel.
2. Your credentials
If you didn’t earn it, don’t flaunt it. Never pretend to be an expert in something that you are not. Not only will you be putting yourself in a jeopardy if you fake it, but also, you’ll be endangering those who actually believe in you. Know that greatness takes time and a whole lot of hard work and commitment so don’t short change yourself and others by putting certifications or degrees you never had or claiming a job title that is not backed up by your actual expertise. Allow yourself to take the high road and journey accordingly towards your best, without finding the need to impress others along the way as you focus on yourself and your growth.
3. Your successes
Credit grabbing is a big no-no and don’t ever banner things under your name which have not really happened or that were merely blown up to crazy proportions just to stir interest or gain approval. Stop claiming things you’ve never done, claiming programs you never made or results you never delivered. Again, it’s very important to let your consistent results speak for you instead of bannering false ones. Remember, it’s harder to make up for a reputation that’s tainted versus working hard to achieve the successes you really want for yourself and others.
4. Your associations
Please. Quit telling you know this person or this celebrity or you’re a part of an elite group if you’re really not. Meeting them once or twice does not make them your friend you know, so don’t abuse that word. Know that as much as it’s important to associate yourself with the big wigs, it’s also important to realize that you, as you are, have your own value to uphold outside of that association. Don’t let your credibility depend on the “relationships” you have (no matter how tight or superficial they may be)…build it yourself instead.
5. Your commitments
You are as good as your word. So if you’re merely faking it and giving promises left and right just to get the approval of others without really committing to them fully, then you are compromising your integrity big time. Don’t ever give your word for the sake of. Know that trust can be easily broken and hard to restore and that’s one thing that’s far more important than just looking good temporarily. Each and every time you break your word, you break the chance to build a long, lasting, genuine relationship with others and yourself.
So there, I hope these help you avoid the things that you must not fake to ensure that you breeze through life without the need to justify the lies and actions not in alignment with your authentic self.
Stay true always.
Not every story has a happily ever after.
Especially if you choose to stay in a toxic relationship.
I know. It might seem perfect at first.
Meeting (and being with) your dream guy/gal for the first time can seem like a fairy tale that came true.
However, as time goes by, things change. People change. You change.
And so does the relationship you’re in.
We can only cross our fingers that everything changes for the better.
But what if it does not?
What if the once sweet, oh-so-perfect relationship turns sour and too toxic, what do you do?
Do you hold on and wait?
Or do you take the next flight out?
Don’t get me wrong, there will always be relationships worth fighting for.
However, in my opinion, all parties involved must be willing to work things out.
It can never be just one sided.
And to be candid about it, that’s actually one of the many red flags of being in a toxic relationship.
Allow me to share with you the 5 signs you’re in a toxic relationship and what you can do there after.
This. I always believed that any relationship you choose to be in should bring out the best in you and not the worst. Whatever happened to what Disney taught us about having happily ever afters? Keep that in mind. There’s no point of settling in a relationship that makes you feel less of a person.
What you can do: Take a step back. Reflect. Where is this coming from? What are you tolerating? What is not working for you? In the process of doing so, always be true to yourself because your honesty will set you free.
2. You’re not growing
Feeling stuck? Spending more time doubting yourself than working on your dreams? Your relationships must inspire and help you to grow into the best version of yourself. If not, then think again.
What you can do: Reflect. What or who is stopping you? And why are you letting it happen? Analyze in the process: what’s the value of growing at this point in your life that will allow you to commit to it fully? You deserve the growth you envisioned for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone make you think or feel otherwise.
3.) You don’t have a voice in the relationship
If you feel that you’re always set aside, taken for granted and disrespected time and again, it’s time to assess the relationship you’re in. It takes two to tango and you don’t deserve to just be a back up dancer for the rest of your life.
What you can do: Assert yourself. Be confident and brave enough to speak up. Ask yourself this: what will do you better in the long run, keeping mum about things that don’t sit well with you and tolerating how badly you’re treated or voicing out your concerns and owning your space so you can grow in harmony with the relationship you chose to be in by playing your part? Never let anyone silence your voice and your rights.
4.) You always have excuses
If you always find yourself justifying your decisions or covering up for your partner or the things that aren’t exactly working in your relationship, whether to yourself or to others, then, you might be trying too hard to convince yourself that you’re not in a toxic relationship.
What you can do: Inquire within. Why are you coming up with excuses? What do you want to achieve? What is the reality in front of you that you must accept? Remember, you cannot resolve what you continuously deny yourself of, whether it’s the truth or the opportunity to see things in a different light.
5.) You don’t feel whole
As you are, regardless of who you’re with, you should be whole. If you feel broken still and the concept of completeness, despite the presence of another person in your life, is non-existent, it’s telling you a lot about the kind of relationship you’re in. And yes, it’s toxic.
What you can do: Choose to give yourself time and space to heal and be whole again. Again, you can’t give what you don’t have and if your toxic relationship has drained you, then it’s time to fill your cup again. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to become your own #bestmeever .
After all that’s been said and done now, I hope that you realize that you owe it to yourself to be in a relationship that will allow you to become the person you’re meant to be.
Beyond your tolerations.
And if you need help re-writing your relationship story, whether with yourself or with others involved, don’t lose hope. just message me.
Let’s re-create your own happily ever after.
