Not every story has a happily ever after.
Especially if you choose to stay in a toxic relationship.
I know. It might seem perfect at first.
Meeting (and being with) your dream guy/gal for the first time can seem like a fairy tale that came true.
However, as time goes by, things change. People change. You change.
And so does the relationship you’re in.
We can only cross our fingers that everything changes for the better.
But what if it does not?
What if the once sweet, oh-so-perfect relationship turns sour and too toxic, what do you do?
Do you hold on and wait?
Or do you take the next flight out?
Don’t get me wrong, there will always be relationships worth fighting for.
However, in my opinion, all parties involved must be willing to work things out.
It can never be just one sided.
And to be candid about it, that’s actually one of the many red flags of being in a toxic relationship.
Allow me to share with you the 5 signs you’re in a toxic relationship and what you can do there after.
This. I always believed that any relationship you choose to be in should bring out the best in you and not the worst. Whatever happened to what Disney taught us about having happily ever afters? Keep that in mind. There’s no point of settling in a relationship that makes you feel less of a person.
What you can do: Take a step back. Reflect. Where is this coming from? What are you tolerating? What is not working for you? In the process of doing so, always be true to yourself because your honesty will set you free.
2. You’re not growing
Feeling stuck? Spending more time doubting yourself than working on your dreams? Your relationships must inspire and help you to grow into the best version of yourself. If not, then think again.
What you can do: Reflect. What or who is stopping you? And why are you letting it happen? Analyze in the process: what’s the value of growing at this point in your life that will allow you to commit to it fully? You deserve the growth you envisioned for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone make you think or feel otherwise.
3.) You don’t have a voice in the relationship
If you feel that you’re always set aside, taken for granted and disrespected time and again, it’s time to assess the relationship you’re in. It takes two to tango and you don’t deserve to just be a back up dancer for the rest of your life.
What you can do: Assert yourself. Be confident and brave enough to speak up. Ask yourself this: what will do you better in the long run, keeping mum about things that don’t sit well with you and tolerating how badly you’re treated or voicing out your concerns and owning your space so you can grow in harmony with the relationship you chose to be in by playing your part? Never let anyone silence your voice and your rights.
4.) You always have excuses
If you always find yourself justifying your decisions or covering up for your partner or the things that aren’t exactly working in your relationship, whether to yourself or to others, then, you might be trying too hard to convince yourself that you’re not in a toxic relationship.
What you can do: Inquire within. Why are you coming up with excuses? What do you want to achieve? What is the reality in front of you that you must accept? Remember, you cannot resolve what you continuously deny yourself of, whether it’s the truth or the opportunity to see things in a different light.
5.) You don’t feel whole
As you are, regardless of who you’re with, you should be whole. If you feel broken still and the concept of completeness, despite the presence of another person in your life, is non-existent, it’s telling you a lot about the kind of relationship you’re in. And yes, it’s toxic.
What you can do: Choose to give yourself time and space to heal and be whole again. Again, you can’t give what you don’t have and if your toxic relationship has drained you, then it’s time to fill your cup again. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to become your own #bestmeever .
After all that’s been said and done now, I hope that you realize that you owe it to yourself to be in a relationship that will allow you to become the person you’re meant to be.
Beyond your tolerations.
And if you need help re-writing your relationship story, whether with yourself or with others involved, don’t lose hope. just message me.
Let’s re-create your own happily ever after.
Fact: No one’s perfect.
So why do we always strive to look flawless in the eyes of others?
I guess it’ safe to say that it’s our ego acting up.
Making us want to look good at all times.
Making us feel insecure at times too.
But in reality, do we really have to embrace perfection as our own standard of happiness and contentment?
Come to think of it.
What’s the worst thing that can happen when you embrace your flaws and imperfections?
Still reflecting?
I hope these tips help you accept your flaws and imperfections better so that in the process you will be able to discover your very own #bestmeever .
Happiness is a matter of choice.
And that’s a fact.
You see, things may not always go as planned and we might find ourselves disappointed in the process once in a while.
However, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a choice to see beyond unfortunate situations.
A lot of times we have read time and again about tips on how to be happy.
However, what we tend to forget is that before we can even make happiness a habit, we must first consider where we associate it.
Let me tell you this now:
Stop associating happiness with things that have yet to come or happen.
Remove the context of attaching happiness to a goal, a person, a new relationship, an event which hasn’t arrived yet.
That’s the only way you can truly appreciate the now and come up with your own happy habits.
So once you’ve made that choice to be fully present in the moment, check out these happy habits you can create so that you always start and end your day with a smile.
It’s actually a continuation of the habits of genuinely happy people list I made before.
Why? because we can always have room for happy habits that make us smile and our hearts, overflow.
1.) Lend a helping hand
No one is too powerless to help others in need. A simple kind gesture can have a big impact on someone else’s life (and yours as well). Never underestimate your own ability to change someone’s life in an instant. Helping out does not always have to be grand always; even the smallest gestures count. What matters is the intention behind and how you can turn that to inspiration to create even bigger impact in the lives of others there after.
2.) Declutter your space
A beautiful space can be quite inspiring. Oftentimes, your space reflects your overall state so make sure that you do away with whatever no longer serves a purpose and keep those which continuously inspire you. Having a clean, well-kept space allows you to focus on what matters most: your well-being, happiness and your goals.
3.) Check in with yourself regularly
Allow yourself to acknowledge how you feel. Dn’t run away from your emotions. Instead, openly embrace them and then work around them there after. By recognizing them, you are able to keep yourself grounded and centered at all times, which helps make you genuinely happy and anxiety free, something that’s very timely amidst the pandemic.
4.) Let go of negative thoughts and grudges
Any form of negativity weighs you down and holds you back from becoming your own #bestmeever . So by consistently allowing yourself to let go of them, you create more space for more beautiful and inspiring things to come into your life as you become the person you’re meant to be.
5.) Amplify your strengths
It’s always such a pleasurable experience doing what you know you’re genuinely good at. Take time to practice every single day and allow yourself to confidently showcase your skills to the rest of the world. Sharing your gifts can help inspire others as well who are struggling with working on theirs.
I hope that these tips can help you build happy habits that work for you.
Looking forward to seeing you become happier in the days to come.
Life Changing.
Best way to describe the COVID19 Pandemic.
And to this day, I still think that’s an understatement.
While in general it is seen as something destructive and evil because of the results it delivered world wide — we tend to forget that underneath them all are silver linings waiting to be discovered.
I have always believed that things happen for a reason and this entire situation is meant to change the way we look at things and ourselves (even life) in general.
Yes, it taught me a whole lot of valuable life lessons which I now take to heart.
1.) Never take anything (or anyone) for granted
In an instant, lives are lost. Many became unemployed. We got locked down. Face masks and face shields became mandatory. With these sudden changes, I got to realize the things I was taking for granted: my freedom, my work, my health…among others. Such an eye opener. So best to show love and appreciation here and now. Make the most of today.
2.) Simple joys are real joys
Appreciate the small things. They bring you true happiness. Bonding with your loved ones. Being able to rest. Working from home. Having food on your table. How many times have we missed their true value? Larger than life if I may say. And priceless.
3.) We always have a choice
How we react or respond to the whole pandemic is a matter of choice. We can either see it as a dead end or as an opportunity to thrive. It’s a matter of allowing ourselves to accept the present scenario whole heartedly as we do away with resitance and grow with the flow instead. At the very least, you reading this now is a testament of your choices made: at the very least, to survive. And that will always be more than enough for now.
4.) Everyone can be a hero
Wherever you are, whatever you do, you can always make a difference during challenging times. No one is too big or too small to help and change lives. It’s all about being empowered within and building that sense of community so that no one gets left behind. And that’s such a beautiful space to be in: alongside people who chose to be the heroes that they truly are.
5.) Life goes on. And it can get better.
Life may not always seem perfect and things may not always happen as planned, but life goes on. And it can only get better when we allow ourselves to grow in harmony with it. It’s all about choosing to maximize each and every single day so that no matter what happens, we will have no regrets. These detours will lead us to beautiful destinations, one of which is towards our own #bestmeever .
There you go. So in your case, what has the whole COVID19 Pandemic taught you? Looking forward to hearing the lessons you’ve learned along the way.
Fact: It’s not easy to step out of our comfort zone.
Also a fact: It will always be worth it.
Because as they say, growth is found outside of your comfort zone.
However, most of the time, we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by negative emotions brought about by the uncertainty that lies ahead.
What we fail to recognize in the process is that the uncertainty also brings about beautiful possibilities only if we choose to embrace the entire situation whole heartedly.
I remember the time when I was still starting as a professional life coach, after turning my back on a lucrative advertising and marketing career that lasted for 15 years, simply because I was no longer happy anymore after reaching my peak.
Back then, admittedly I was also scared and anxious, not knowing where my new calling will take me or how far I’ll go. What kept me going was that I held on to my purpose, which was to speak to inspire – and allowed it to motivate me all through out my journey towards becoming the Global Master Coach that I am now.
A lot of ups and downs along the way but hey, I wouldn’t have had it in any other way.
Life is too short to just settle in a space that no longer supports your happiness and growth. Visualize clearly what you want and paint that image vividly on your mind every single day because that will keep you going. Eyes on the prize always. I totally believe that if you truly want something, you’ll find a way to achieve it, even if it means stepping out of your comfort zone.
Each and every time you overthink, you cripple yourself with a bunch of fears and assumptions. Take that life changing first step instead. That’s actually the hardest part: to commit to starting. However, when you’ve finally decided fully and you have taken that first step outside of your comfort zone, there’s no where else to go but on and forward towards your own #bestmeever .
It may be a leap of faith for you as you embark on this new journey of yours but remember not to hurry and allow yourself to grow at your own pace. Instead of making big, drastic steps to hasten the process of pursuing your goals, focus on doing small, consistent ones and build up on them gradually. Don’t forget to be grateful along the way so that regardless of what happens in between, you will never feel that you lack anything.
Now this is tricky but very much possible. This can be done by seeing each and every experience as a wonderful opportunity to grow. When you change your perspective from being resentful to being open and optimistic, you allow yourself to thrive amidst the uncertainty that surrounds you at present. Remember, the key here is to listen to yourself mindfully: rest if you must, allow yourself to feel, celebrate wins in between, focus on what went right along the way and start all over again when ready.
As you step outside of your comfort zone, be sure to journey alongside people who genuinely believe in you and who help bring out the best In you. Having someone (or a bunch of people) cheer you on makes even the most difficult journey bearable. Just be sure to acknowledge them along the way and never forget that at the end of the day, apart from them, you should also be your own biggest fan.
I hope these inspire you to take that first step outside of your comfort zone simply because you are worth that risk and you definitely have what it takes to thrive thereafter.
Nobody’s perfect.
And that’s a fact.
But guess what?
It’s perfectly ok.
So stop beating yourself up for “flaws” which make you feel less of a person.
Because in, reality, they don’t.
Know that as you are, you are perfectly amazing.
If you’re still struggling with loving your imperfections, then allow me to share with you these 5 ways to allow you to embrace them fully.
Only you can see your true worth. So set your own standards. You don’t have to stress yourself fitting into someone else’s mould. Create your own. Your beauty makes you uniquely special, so don’t ever compare yourself with someone else. Just appreciate your own because by doing that, you’ll know that there’s so much to love about you.
2. Make your flaws inspiring
Somewhere out there, someone needs to hear your story of how you embraced your flaws and imperfections. Whether it’s a physical insecurity, a disability, a circumstance … these can be turned into powerful inspirations, only if you see the true purpose behind each. Come from that space.
3. Count your blessings
Your flaws shouldn’t define you and your happiness. Look around you. Inquire within. What else can you be grateful for? There’s more to life than just focusing on things that are “less than perfect.” Focus on what matters more instead: what gives you genuine joy, fulfillment and wholeness. You can always choose to work around your imperfections and see things in a different light.
4. Surround yourself with inspiring advocates
All over the world, there are other people like you who may have experienced the same thing but have chosen to rise above the situation and empower others instead. Choose to find (and be with) your role models and people who bring out the best in you. Self-Check: If they can see beyond your flaws, why can’t you?
5. Affirm yourself daily
Give yourself that much needed confidence boost by facing the mirror every single day and loving the person you’re seeing daily, genuinely. Empower yourself with positive words you need to hear that will allow you to be your authentic, unapologetic and grandest version of yourself, your own #bestmeever . Don’t wait for others to validate you because as you are, you can give yourself that much needed love, acceptance and understanding. And your own affirmation will always be more than enough.
I hope that now you can see how “FLAWsome” you are.
Time to give yourself a tight hug. And a whole lot of love.
Fact: We all want to become our own #bestmeever
The thing is though, it takes a whole lot of work, commitment, trust and love to journey within.
To heal from the past, accept the now and gain clarity of our biggest visions in life as we discover self-empowerment takes time (and effort, mind you).
In some cases though, it takes longer for others because of these things that prevent them from having a smooth journey towards their best.
Ok, your journey, is yours alone. It’s totally different from anyone else’s in this planet. So every time you compare (and contrast) your progress with that of others, you allow yourself to get distracted. In the end, no matter how your journey goes, know that it’s meant to teach you important lessons so you can own your best version eventually.
2. Stressing over the little things
No journey is perfect. And guess what? The little bumps along the way make each one even more exciting. So stop sweating over the small stuff. It’s a waste of time and energy. I mean details matter and all and it wouldn’t hurt to double check along the way. However, in the event that there are unforeseen circumstances where things don’t go as planned, if it’s not life changing, just take a deep breath and let go. Nothing is worth more than your inner peace.
3. Expectations
Never attach your own happiness to mere expectations. Instead of conditioning yourself that you will be happy when you achieve this and that, why not try to be happy in the now, with all things as is, as you are. There are so many things to be grateful and happy about at present so allow yourself to grow in harmony with the now.
4. Pleasing others too much
You are not every one’s servant at their beck and call so stop thinking and acting like one. Remember, you also have the obligation to take care of yourself and give yourself what is due. So start saying ‘NO’ to others so you can say ‘YES’ more to yourself and your growth. At the end of the day, even if you don’t get the nod of others, the best person to please will always be yourself. And that will always be more than enough.
5. Putting yourself last
Making yourself a priority is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. There’s totally nothing wrong about considering your own needs and wants. Remember, taking care of yourself first will also allow you to take care of others more eventually. It has to start from you though as you give yourself the love and affection that you willingly give to others. How can you give what you don’t have? Self-empowerment comes first my dear.
I hope this list will help you catch yourself as you journey towards your best.
I look forward to seeing your own #bestmeever unfold soon.
