Not everything (or everyone) deserves to be in your space.
And that’s perfectly ok.
You don’t have to force yourself to hold on to things or people which do not spark joy.
You don’t have to settle in a space that does not inspire growth.
And yes, you have that power of choice to turn your life around.
As the year draws to a close in a couple of days, now is actually the best time to reflect about what you finally need to let go of so that next year will be far better.
I have spent the last few weeks reflecting and this is the list I have come up with.
It was quite amusing coming to realize why I have tolerated them for the longest time thinking that they were normal or that I needed them when fact is, I can actually live without them and doing such will allow me to flourish more.
1.The drama
Oh my gosh, time and again I have been invited to participate in the drama of other people, whether as a by stander or an actual character in their story. I thought I was helping by being there only to realize that I only wanted to be there because subconciously I was being validated for having that sense of belongingness. Crazy I know. When I caught myself, I immediately distanced myself at the onset of any form of drama that is thrown my way. And yes, I am now living my own story, with my happily ever after.
2.) The extreme pressure on yourself
It’s a fact that the society has certain standards to be met and that people have a lot of expectations about me and what I do. That only adds up to the pressure I used to give myself, wanting to live up to my own ideals in harmony with those of others. Not good for me. I realized that I was practically driving myself to getting burned out and unhappy about what I was doing because I was doing all them out of obligation to comply rather than inspiration. So what I did though was loosen up: I allowed myself to go at my own pace, redefined my concept of productivity and allowed myself to find joy outside of what i do, and realize through happiness from within. End result: I actually became happier and my productivity is maximized even as I take certain days off.
3.) The excuses
I know that at some point, having excuses were meant to protect myself from an unfamiliar or unpleasant situation. However, come to think of it, what is making it difficult for me to express myself in black or white was the need to please by sugarcoating my words. When I arrested that false notion, I am pleasantly surprised that people loved my honesty and authenticity and that it was ok to just go do what feels right as long as I will be taking responsibility for my actions. The goal goes beyond succeeding in a new endeavor, but rather maximizing and growing from each and every experience that’s not limited by any form of excuse. At the end of the day, only my excuses and self-doubts can limit me. And I won’t let that happen. Not today, Satan. Haha!
4.) Your what could have beens
I know that at times we tend to look back at the past and succumb to the overwhelming thoughts of being able to do so much more before. These thoughts leave us doubting ourselves in the process at present. Fact though is that we all can’t turn back time. So upon reflecting, I personally just focused on what I have here and now and how I can make the most of it. It’s not about what could have been, maybe because it’s meant to be like that and that’s something I need to be able to accept. My new practice is to focus on what can still be as I do everything under my control so that I look at all past events, regardless of the results with much gratitude and the future, with much optimism.
5.) Your excess baggage
Yaaasss to this! I mean we all have been through a lot and perhaps even going through so much more at present. But hey, holding on to all these things and repeating them to ourselves over and over again will not help us find the right solution to them and will only lead to more anxiety. Clearing our minds and focusing on what we can still do, will. Don’t let your excess baggage distort your future journey. Travel light. Trust me on this. Everything becomes more enjoyable there after, provided you know where you want to go next and you are committed to make that happen fully.
I hope these help you reflect on your current space. If you’re having a hard time wrapping things up this year as you figure out what you can live without, then worry not. Will be launching my free workshop in my self-empowerment community this December so make sure to register in advance because limited slots are available so that next year, as you start it, will definitely your best year ever.
According to an ad by Adidas for their campaign against patronizing fake products:
Fake hurts real.
And I couldn’t agree more.
At times people try to fake things to make them look more appealing, more successful, more ideal.
And in the pursuit of wanting to belong and accepted, they forget that in the long run, faking it does not really allow one to make it.
In fact, at times, faking it can cause one to have a breakdown rather than his/her much wanted breakthrough.
That’s not exactly an ideal space to be caught in.
Because rather than avoiding the real issue by padding on “perfect patches” to create an ideal life, what is key here is to accept one’s self whole and love one’s self fully to be truly empowered from within.
At the end of the day, becoming one’s #bestmeever is all about anchoring one’s self on authenticity and integrity.
Do not ever try to mask your emotions just to get the approval of others or to become someone’s aspirations. Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is a superpower that few people have. Never invalidate how you feel or see yourself as weak when you cry. Know that it takes a whole lot of strength to acknowledge one’s emotions and doing such allows you to process them fully and address what is really needed beyond the fake smiles (or tears). It’s ok not to be ok and you are allowed to cry if needed. Know that people who are really true to you will love and accept you for who and what you are, no matter how you feel.
2. Your credentials
If you didn’t earn it, don’t flaunt it. Never pretend to be an expert in something that you are not. Not only will you be putting yourself in a jeopardy if you fake it, but also, you’ll be endangering those who actually believe in you. Know that greatness takes time and a whole lot of hard work and commitment so don’t short change yourself and others by putting certifications or degrees you never had or claiming a job title that is not backed up by your actual expertise. Allow yourself to take the high road and journey accordingly towards your best, without finding the need to impress others along the way as you focus on yourself and your growth.
3. Your successes
Credit grabbing is a big no-no and don’t ever banner things under your name which have not really happened or that were merely blown up to crazy proportions just to stir interest or gain approval. Stop claiming things you’ve never done, claiming programs you never made or results you never delivered. Again, it’s very important to let your consistent results speak for you instead of bannering false ones. Remember, it’s harder to make up for a reputation that’s tainted versus working hard to achieve the successes you really want for yourself and others.
4. Your associations
Please. Quit telling you know this person or this celebrity or you’re a part of an elite group if you’re really not. Meeting them once or twice does not make them your friend you know, so don’t abuse that word. Know that as much as it’s important to associate yourself with the big wigs, it’s also important to realize that you, as you are, have your own value to uphold outside of that association. Don’t let your credibility depend on the “relationships” you have (no matter how tight or superficial they may be)…build it yourself instead.
5. Your commitments
You are as good as your word. So if you’re merely faking it and giving promises left and right just to get the approval of others without really committing to them fully, then you are compromising your integrity big time. Don’t ever give your word for the sake of. Know that trust can be easily broken and hard to restore and that’s one thing that’s far more important than just looking good temporarily. Each and every time you break your word, you break the chance to build a long, lasting, genuine relationship with others and yourself.
So there, I hope these help you avoid the things that you must not fake to ensure that you breeze through life without the need to justify the lies and actions not in alignment with your authentic self.
Stay true always.
Life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns.
That’s a fact.
Because there will be times that life will throw you a curve ball that will catch you off guard.
The thing is, at times, that curve ball can be larger than life.
Too large for you to dodge it.
Before you know it, it hits you hard.
And you find yourself struggling to regain your composure and bring everything back the way they used to be.
But that’s not easy at all.
You see, things don’t always go as planned, no matter how hard you prepared for them.
It’s when things go wrong that you become overwhelmed by the stress and pressure the entire situation brings.
Leading you think: “I want to give up!”
Trust me, I can definitely relate to being in that almost hopeless space.
And it’s not something I (or have others) want to experience again.
1.) Remember that pain and suffering are temporary.
It will pass. It’s just a phase. Allow yourself to come from that space so that you don’t make drastic permanent decisions that you will regret in the long run. What is key here is to try to endure and enjoy the entire journey as you seek for new learnings and opportunities for growth along the way. Ask yourself this: What is this situation teaching me? The beginning is always the hardest but it doesn’t have to be like that all through out the way.
2.) Hold on to your “WHY”
Living your purpose every single day is not always easy. However, it will always be worth it. So when the going gets tough, allow yourself to anchor on your biggest “WHY” and remind yourself all the reasons that got you started in the first place. Try to utilize the same passion and feelings you’ve had before things got rough so that you become unstoppable in the process.
3.) Visualize your desired results.
Sometimes difficult situations distract us from our goal. Take time to pause, calm yourself and visualize your ultimate goal away from the chaos. Be as detailed as possible and allow yourself to feel as if you’ve already achieved it. It’s a beautiful way to inspire yourself to push forward.
4.) Try once more.
There’s no limit in trying or in starting all over again. If you really want it, then give it all you’ve got. Remember, each try brings you closer to your goal. Celebrate wins in between, big or small. Know that regardless of the result, you learn in the process and that allows you to grow to your own #bestmeever .
5.) Surround yourself with inspiration.
Seek support from people you love. Take time to read inspiring stories. Talk to people who have managed to overcome the same challenges you have at present. Fill your mind with positive thoughts. At the end of the day, you can always give yourself the much needed hope you’re looking for.
So now, if you’re reading this and you feel like you’re almost giving up, take this as your sign to do otherwise.
Because you deserve one more try.
Saying NO is such an empowering experience.
Contrary to popular belief, saying NO does not limit you.
In fact, it opens new doors for you as you come from a space of worthiness and self-love.
Because each and every time you say NO to others, you say YES to yourself and your growth.
Allow me to share with you my take on the 5 times you must say NO in your life:
1.) When your life is at risk
This is a no-brainer. Don’t ever put yourself in such a situation that will compromise your safety. No amount of reasoning can be made that will justify you endangering or losing your life in the process. Trust your instincts and keep safe always. In all ways.
2.) When someone disrespects you
You are as worthy and lovable as everyone else. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. Be confident about yourself. Speak up. Take a stand. And don’t allow others to own your space. You are fully deserving of your own, to begin with.
3.) When others dictate the life you must lead
Choose your own course. Pursue your own career. Follow your passion. Be whatever you want to be. That is your right. Don’t let anyone put you inside a box. You’re meant to be free. Keep it that way.
4.) When you are forced to stay in toxic relationships
Any relationship that you choose to have should be able to spark joy and growth. Say NO to those that hinder your growth and make you doubt yourself. Always remember that you have that choice to filter who you allow in your space.
5.) When you’re not your #bestmeever
Allow yourself to rest. To feel. To just be. It’s ok to say NO when you’re not your best. Give yourself enough time and space to reflect and recalibrate. You can always bounce back and start all over again when you’re truly ready.
After reading all these, I look forward to seeing you become comfortable when saying NO to these things happening in your life soon.
Happiness is a matter of choice.
And that’s a fact.
You see, things may not always go as planned and we might find ourselves disappointed in the process once in a while.
However, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a choice to see beyond unfortunate situations.
A lot of times we have read time and again about tips on how to be happy.
However, what we tend to forget is that before we can even make happiness a habit, we must first consider where we associate it.
Let me tell you this now:
Stop associating happiness with things that have yet to come or happen.
Remove the context of attaching happiness to a goal, a person, a new relationship, an event which hasn’t arrived yet.
That’s the only way you can truly appreciate the now and come up with your own happy habits.
So once you’ve made that choice to be fully present in the moment, check out these happy habits you can create so that you always start and end your day with a smile.
It’s actually a continuation of the habits of genuinely happy people list I made before.
Why? because we can always have room for happy habits that make us smile and our hearts, overflow.
1.) Lend a helping hand
No one is too powerless to help others in need. A simple kind gesture can have a big impact on someone else’s life (and yours as well). Never underestimate your own ability to change someone’s life in an instant. Helping out does not always have to be grand always; even the smallest gestures count. What matters is the intention behind and how you can turn that to inspiration to create even bigger impact in the lives of others there after.
2.) Declutter your space
A beautiful space can be quite inspiring. Oftentimes, your space reflects your overall state so make sure that you do away with whatever no longer serves a purpose and keep those which continuously inspire you. Having a clean, well-kept space allows you to focus on what matters most: your well-being, happiness and your goals.
3.) Check in with yourself regularly
Allow yourself to acknowledge how you feel. Dn’t run away from your emotions. Instead, openly embrace them and then work around them there after. By recognizing them, you are able to keep yourself grounded and centered at all times, which helps make you genuinely happy and anxiety free, something that’s very timely amidst the pandemic.
4.) Let go of negative thoughts and grudges
Any form of negativity weighs you down and holds you back from becoming your own #bestmeever . So by consistently allowing yourself to let go of them, you create more space for more beautiful and inspiring things to come into your life as you become the person you’re meant to be.
5.) Amplify your strengths
It’s always such a pleasurable experience doing what you know you’re genuinely good at. Take time to practice every single day and allow yourself to confidently showcase your skills to the rest of the world. Sharing your gifts can help inspire others as well who are struggling with working on theirs.
I hope that these tips can help you build happy habits that work for you.
Looking forward to seeing you become happier in the days to come.
The only limitations that we have are the ones we put (and allow) on ourselves.
Come to think of it, that’s quite true.
Know that the life that we have, is not a result entirely of everything that happened to us.
Rather, it’s a result of how we chose to respond or react to all our experiences.
Admittedly though, there will be times when life seems unfair and at times it will throw us a curve ball that will make us feel overwhelmed and go off-track.
It is during those times that we feel stuck, lost and unproductive, thinking that progress is no where in sight and that it was the rest of the world’s fault, and never ours.
However, truth be told, we have everything it takes to keep going. To keep moving on and forward.
1.) Face your fears
Think about this: what can be the worst thing that can happen if you actually face whatever scares you most? And what’s the best thing that can happen if you do? Remember, the only way you can validate if one thing that scares you is really true or not is when you actually try and take that risk. And more often than not, you’ll find yourself thinking why you haven’t done it before, there after simply because whatever lies beyond fear has something to do with your growth.
2.) Remember your past successes
You’ve done it before. Whether it’s embarking on a new journey, starting all over again, having a new venture or overcoming obstacles, you have proven to yourself (and others) time and again that you have what it takes to really succeed. So trust yourself more and give yourself more credit when it comes to your ability to push forward. Your previous results can vouch for you.
3.) Do away with the distractions
I always share this to all my coachees and mentees: when it does not help you grow, let go. Simplify everything. Stop over thinking and just start focusing on what matters most: your happiness, your goals and your genuine fulfilment. Indulge guilt-free instead on self love and self care and always ensure that your whole well-being is at tip top shape, because at the end of the day, you have to focus on your most important investment in this journey: yourself.
4.) Be grateful for your progress
Every time you act in alignment with your greatest goals, whether it’s all about starting on a task, pausing to reflect or ending a toxic relationship that does not serve you well anymore…celebrate. Acknowledge that you are doing the best that you can with all that you have and that will always be more than enough.
5.) Surround yourself with inspiration
Whether you choose to embrace the love and support from your family and friends or take inspiration from random people, things and events in your every day life, what matters is that you keep each one in mind when the going gets tough. Hold on to your own “WHY” and always remember why you started. This will help you focus on the long and winding road ahead with a smile.
I hope these help you become unstoppable as you become the person you’re meant to be.
I am rooting for you.
Fact: You can’t be too ambitious if you’re 100% committed to your success.
Pursuing your biggest dreams isn’t that easy always.
Admittedly, there are a lot of challenges and struggles before you reach your goals.
Take it from me who was told time and again by a lot of people (seriously, I lost count) when I was starting my career from scratch that going global as a professional coach and as an author “was too big of a dream”.
For others yes.
But for me, it was worth the try.
However, what I realized was that you don’t have to stress yourself out and become too anxious in the process of fulfilling your ambition.
And yes, depression and success don’t necessary have to go hand in hand.
The solution though is not to minimize your goals, but rather, empower yourself to become bigger than your worse fears and anxieties.
Your biggest “WHY” will keep you grounded when the going gets tough. Always be inspired by that life changing reason that made you decide to embark on your awesome journey towards becoming the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
The more you resist, the more it persists. So be open to changes, challenges and a whole lot of uncertainties in between. Instead of resisting your journey, embrace it fully and ask yourself what you can learn from each and every experience that you encounter along the way.
Ok, repeat this after me: “I am doing perfectly well.” Celebrate small wins because they are beautiful reminders that you’re getting closer to where you want to be. Whether it’s getting a random compliment, learning a new skill or simply making it through a difficult day, give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it for stepping up and pursuing your own biggest dreams. Not everyone can do that and that gives you another reason to celebrate. Affirm yourself as often as possible.
Like seriously: comparing yourself with others is one of the biggest causes of anxiety. So please stop. Do yourself a favor and focus on yourself and your own growth. Do what you must, give your best always and stay committed to the results you want to achieve. Eyes on the prize, always.
Find your happy space. Be with people who make you feel loved and supported. Read about the inspiring stories of your role models. Look back gratefully at how far you’ve gone since you’ve started and recognize how much you’ve grown in the process. Create an environment that will help you thrive and make you realize that you don’t have to worry about what lies ahead. You got this!
There you go. I hope these inspire you to follow your heart as you pursue your biggest dreams.
You deserve it.
Nobody’s perfect.
And that’s a fact.
But guess what?
It’s perfectly ok.
So stop beating yourself up for “flaws” which make you feel less of a person.
Because in, reality, they don’t.
Know that as you are, you are perfectly amazing.
If you’re still struggling with loving your imperfections, then allow me to share with you these 5 ways to allow you to embrace them fully.
Only you can see your true worth. So set your own standards. You don’t have to stress yourself fitting into someone else’s mould. Create your own. Your beauty makes you uniquely special, so don’t ever compare yourself with someone else. Just appreciate your own because by doing that, you’ll know that there’s so much to love about you.
2. Make your flaws inspiring
Somewhere out there, someone needs to hear your story of how you embraced your flaws and imperfections. Whether it’s a physical insecurity, a disability, a circumstance … these can be turned into powerful inspirations, only if you see the true purpose behind each. Come from that space.
3. Count your blessings
Your flaws shouldn’t define you and your happiness. Look around you. Inquire within. What else can you be grateful for? There’s more to life than just focusing on things that are “less than perfect.” Focus on what matters more instead: what gives you genuine joy, fulfillment and wholeness. You can always choose to work around your imperfections and see things in a different light.
4. Surround yourself with inspiring advocates
All over the world, there are other people like you who may have experienced the same thing but have chosen to rise above the situation and empower others instead. Choose to find (and be with) your role models and people who bring out the best in you. Self-Check: If they can see beyond your flaws, why can’t you?
5. Affirm yourself daily
Give yourself that much needed confidence boost by facing the mirror every single day and loving the person you’re seeing daily, genuinely. Empower yourself with positive words you need to hear that will allow you to be your authentic, unapologetic and grandest version of yourself, your own #bestmeever . Don’t wait for others to validate you because as you are, you can give yourself that much needed love, acceptance and understanding. And your own affirmation will always be more than enough.
I hope that now you can see how “FLAWsome” you are.
Time to give yourself a tight hug. And a whole lot of love.
Fact: We all want to become our own #bestmeever
The thing is though, it takes a whole lot of work, commitment, trust and love to journey within.
To heal from the past, accept the now and gain clarity of our biggest visions in life as we discover self-empowerment takes time (and effort, mind you).
In some cases though, it takes longer for others because of these things that prevent them from having a smooth journey towards their best.
Ok, your journey, is yours alone. It’s totally different from anyone else’s in this planet. So every time you compare (and contrast) your progress with that of others, you allow yourself to get distracted. In the end, no matter how your journey goes, know that it’s meant to teach you important lessons so you can own your best version eventually.
2. Stressing over the little things
No journey is perfect. And guess what? The little bumps along the way make each one even more exciting. So stop sweating over the small stuff. It’s a waste of time and energy. I mean details matter and all and it wouldn’t hurt to double check along the way. However, in the event that there are unforeseen circumstances where things don’t go as planned, if it’s not life changing, just take a deep breath and let go. Nothing is worth more than your inner peace.
3. Expectations
Never attach your own happiness to mere expectations. Instead of conditioning yourself that you will be happy when you achieve this and that, why not try to be happy in the now, with all things as is, as you are. There are so many things to be grateful and happy about at present so allow yourself to grow in harmony with the now.
4. Pleasing others too much
You are not every one’s servant at their beck and call so stop thinking and acting like one. Remember, you also have the obligation to take care of yourself and give yourself what is due. So start saying ‘NO’ to others so you can say ‘YES’ more to yourself and your growth. At the end of the day, even if you don’t get the nod of others, the best person to please will always be yourself. And that will always be more than enough.
5. Putting yourself last
Making yourself a priority is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. There’s totally nothing wrong about considering your own needs and wants. Remember, taking care of yourself first will also allow you to take care of others more eventually. It has to start from you though as you give yourself the love and affection that you willingly give to others. How can you give what you don’t have? Self-empowerment comes first my dear.
I hope this list will help you catch yourself as you journey towards your best.
I look forward to seeing your own #bestmeever unfold soon.
