We can only make the most of it by embracing each and every moment for what it is and what it brings.
And that includes the twist and turns, the usual curve balls and humps along the way.
Remember, no one can ever control or predict life in general. So don’t stress yourself trying to make things go your way always.
Because yes, that’s not exactly 100% possible.
However, it’s not easy admittedly to take that to heart always.
Most of the time, our own expectations (alongside those of others) get in the way.
Which eventually make us hate ourselves unnecessarily as we try so hard to figure things out by ourselves, in our terms.
We begin to question everything and everyone, including ourselves about the reasons why things are happening as they are.
Well today, allow me to share with you the 5 reasons why things are not working out:
You’re transitioning
Yep, change is inevitable. And usually, things get so chaotic before everything falls into place. Moving on or levelling up was never an easy task and the uncomfortable situation that you’re in right now is actually telling you that you’re embarking on either journey mentioned earlier.
2. You’re not yet ready
Greatness takes time. So allow yourself to fail forward. To commit mistakes. To experience hardships. Not getting what you want initially, whether it’s your dream job, a relationship you want or the recognition you aspire — is actually telling you to keep going as you keep growing. Try harder. Do better. Make room for improvements. Trust me, someday, your preparations will pay off.
3. You need to learn an important lesson
Any experience, good or bad, teaches us an important lesson we can use as we move forward in life. You are given challenging situations you can learn from so you can journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever . Please take note that if you’re experiencing the same stressful event over and over again and you noticed that it’s actually becoming harder and harder in the process, treat it as God’s (or the Universe’s) way of knocking some sense (and a whole lot of learning) into you.
4. You’re being protected
This is perhaps the trickiest one to spot. But it’s a real silver lining, if I may say. Life has its own way of saving you from toxic relationships, wrong decisions or merely settling. You just have to trust the process. Breaking up and letting go may be painful at first but what if staying was far worse? Think about that.
5. Better things are coming
Things have to fall apart to make room for better ones to come into place. Trust the process. Your space now might suck big time but know that it’s only temporary. Keep the faith. Keep moving forward. Better days ahead. Hang on.
I hope this list allows you to reframe your thoughts when things are not working out. after all, they might actually be working right for you. Finally.
Be your own greatest fan. And that includes loving yourself whole and embracing yourself fully.
Which basically means, you have to stop hating yourself.
Hate is such a powerful negative emotion that we should be mindful about because it can wreck havoc not only on ourselves but on everything that we do and everyone around us.
However, we tend to hate ourselves when things don’t go as planned, when we fail to meet our own (and that of others too) expectations, when delays happen and we feel that we are not in control of the situation we’re in.
What escapes us though is that the more we hate ourselves, the more desired results don’t fall into place.
I tell you this now: how you treat yourself is a mirror of what you’re getting in life right now. Uhuh. Even the way others treat you is a reflection of what you allow (and don’t allow) in your own life.
And while you’re at it, take this opportunity to learn how you can be kinder to yourself as you do away with self hate with these tips:
Ground yourself first
Pause. Breathe. Let calmness surround you. And ask yourself this powerful question: what’s under my control that I can focus on to help me get rid of this negative emotion? More often than not, we let ourselves be overwhelmed by what’s happening around us that we forget that what matters most is how we take charge of how we feel within and what’s under our control. Trust me, 5 minutes of grounding yourself can do wonders for you and lessen the anxiety, worries and stress that lead to unnecessarily hating yourself.
2. Remember how blessed you are
Yep, counting your blessings help. Give yourself more credit. You made it this far so admittedly you must have done something good in your life to deserve that progress. Take time to list down your blessings and allow yourself to feel grateful as you recognize each. In the process of doing so, you will get to realize that you deserve a pat on the back too. Give yourself just that.
3. Compliment yourself
If you find it easy to compliment others, apply that practice to yourself too. Self-affirmations can help empower you even during the most difficult days as you give yourself your own much needed boost of self-confidence and empowerment. Compliment your looks, praise your progress, remember your worth. All these matter. Like you do, too.
4. Question the validity of your negative emotion
There are perhaps a number of other underlying emotions that have resulted to self-hate. Try to uncover and understand them so that you get to process them better. As you get to deal with the root cause, you begin to slowly eliminate the negativity that resulted from piled up emotions coming from a space of overwhelm. I mean, do you really hate yourself for who and what are? Or are you just feeling scared about the outcome? Feeling guilty about what transpired? Yep, there can be many narratives that can be addressed differently, accordingly. Clarity is key.
5. Build a strong support circle
You are not alone in your journey. Other people share your sentiments so don’t judge yourself for reaching out for help. Surround yourself with people who bring out your best, you make you feel seen and heard and who can cheer you up when times are rough. Consider also seeking the help of mental health professionals if things become too much for you. Help is readily available. Always. You just have to ask.
To wrap this up, I just want you to take this to heart:
Never hate. Just have faith. In yourself. In the process. And in the best days ahead.
You’re on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
So please, love yourself more.
“Don’t let money change you.” One thing I always say to people who ask me for financial advice.
I mean, I am no financial guru nor a money making expert, however, I’d like to believe that I know how to manage my finances, one way or another. Haha!
Through the years, I made sure that I have enough money for investments, my savings and life’s little luxuries, enough for me to say that I can live comfortably with what I earn. And within my means, if I may add.
The latter actually is sacred to me; I don’t really splurge on stuff I can’t afford or would have troubles paying off.
More than that, I also have seen a lot of relationships fall apart because of money matters. I mean, we’re talking about like years of friendship, families torn apart and romantic relationships turned sour because of unpaid debts.
Yeah, someone had to say that. And I guess being one of those who have experienced that, I can also relate fully to that ugly feeling when money takes control of even the most beautiful relationships, or so I (we) thought.
So since I have been asked time and again by people who are becoming highly anxious about their debts on how to deal with it, I decided to share my take on it.
Mind you, I do all these in the rare occasions I make a loan for an important investment e.g. a new property for AirBnB (there’s what you call good debt guys, none the less, it should be taken seriously as well) so that I get to maintain a good relationship with whomever I am getting money from e.g. super close friend (emphasis on super), bank loan etc. So yeah, it’s possible to make loans work for you without sacrificing your relationships.
Here are the 5 things you should remember:
Face your debt
The impulse of most people is to run away from their debts. Mind you though: you cannot resolve what you don’t face. So accept the fact that you have a debt to pay and face it responsibly. By this we mean not denying yourself to live in the now nor denying the existence of the debt, while you do away with the anxieties you are attaching to the future. When you start facing your “problem”, solutions will come to surface. You were brave enough to make that loan, so be braver to take responsibility for it.
2. Honor your word
Was there a contract signed? What were the agreements? Ensure that you are on the same page and never assume anything to avoid any misinterpretations. Remember, the moment that you affix your signature on something is the moment you put your credibility and integrity on the line. Never compromise them. Make sure to remember important dates and give payments that are due during that time. And yes, put everything into writing always.
3. Be honest
Ok, admittedly there might be some unforeseen events that may cause you to have problems paying up. Tell that upfront ahead of time. Approach with humility. Discuss possible solutions. Never just remain silent and wait for things to fix themselves, because more often than not, they won’t. Don’t give false hopes or pretend that everything is still according to planned. Remember, lying may get you off the hook initially, but will definitely put you in hot water in the long run. Honesty goes a long way. Never underestimate the compassion of people. But don’t ever abuse them too.
4. Practice empathy towards the other person
While it’s stressful to have debts, consider also that another person or party is involved. It’s not just about you. It’s also stressful for the person/party that you owe money to. So ask yourself this: how does the other person feel? what can help him/her understand better the situation I am caught in? What compromise can I propose for consideration? Remember, relationships will always be more important than money so be sensitive enough to acknowledge the needs and wants of the other person involved, whether a friend, family, loved one or business or work contacts. Initiate updates, assure them every now and then and commit to agreed upon deadlines. Don’t ever ignore them, make broken promises or open ended deadlines…I am beyond sure you don’t want that to happen to you as well and the other party/person does not deserve to be treated that way especially if they have done their part and have given you much consideration already.
5. Create solid plans
This can make or break any relationship. Seriously, if you don’t have any solid plans (and yes, that’s intentionally with an s!), then you’re putting yourself and your relationship in danger. Have plan A, plan b, or even a plan c to ensure that all bases are covered and you don’t go back to the other person/party with more negative news just because you only relied on one solution. While crafting many plans would be nice, committing to them is more crucial. Do away with lip service. Set exact deadlines. Seek help if needed. Walk the talk. Take the lead. That’s part of you becoming your own #bestmeever as you take responsibility for your self, debts and actions .
So let me end this blog post by reminding everyone that
your debts should never define you nor your relationships. Your response towards them, will.
It all starts with being so specific and precise about what is it that you really want to become? How does your best version look like? What does it feel? Check on your core values and create that vivid scenario in your mind so that you have something to anchor on as you transition towards your best. Avoid generic statements like “I just want to be happier.” or “I am financially stable.” . Fill in as much details as you can. Write them down if you must and you can add pictures as visual support even. Remember, the clearer you are, the better because your action plans become more aligned with your end goal in mind.
2.) Healthy habits
Yes, health is wealth. So we must treat our over all wellness and well-being as something that is priceless. Check on your habits. What are not working for you? What can you change? What can you add to compliment your desired results in your life? This requires a whole lot of honesty and commitment because as they say, old habits die hard. However, by choice, you can overcome those which have been wrecking havoc in your life, one step at a time, one day at a time. Whether it’s all about eating mindfully this time around, exercising, prioritizing your mental health, sanitizing your social circle or simply letting yourself be — create healthy habits that will help you become your best eventually.
3.) Commitment to a definite timeline
Your “when” is just as important as your “what” , “why” and “how”. Give yourself a specific target date of completion. When do you want to achieve all these? Identify milestones along the way so that you will be continuously inspired. Stay committed to your goals even during tough times by being flexible in your approach and celebrating growth of whatever size or impact. Do away with your notion of “someday” and “one day” and focus on turning each and every moment as a potential “day one” — where in you’re overly excited, very committed and hungry to pursue your dreams as you become the person you’re meant to be.
4.) A loving support group
While it’s awesome (and mandatory, actually) to be the greatest fan of one’s self, it would be nice to have people rallying behind your back as you reach for the stars and make your dreams come true. Involve the people closest to your heart: family, friends, significant others, mentors etc. — basically whoever you think can inspire you along the way when the going gets tough and when you have wins to celebrate collectively.
5.) An awesome life coach
No joke. Really. Get yourself a highly qualified coach to journey with you so that you get to navigate clearly in your personal or professional journey with the greatest of ease. Choose one you resonate with and one who embodies your very own aspirations e.g. if you want to work on your weight, self perception and mindset, try seeking for a coach that has done that and delivered results for himself and others. before . Someone who walks the talk, basically. Note that your chosen coach must just be inspiring for you so that each and every session that you have with that person, will be life changing as he motivates you fully, genuinely. Remember, your coach is perhaps one of the best investments you can make as you embark on a journey towards personal growth. So choose well.
After reading all these, now it’s time for you to reflect: what’s that one thing I can do immediately to become the best version of myself?
Then take it from there.
Cheering you on!
Happy new year! Which basically equates to a happy new you! Hopefully.
Here are 5 signs that it’s time to start all over again in 2023:
1.) When things are not working out for you
Come from a space of honesty and ask yourself what’s not in alignment in your life? What’s causing unnecessary stress and chaos? Remember, as the saying goes, some things have to fall apart so that the right ones can fall into place. Maybe that’s telling you the same: that you’re not supposed to be in the same space that has become too small or too crowded for you. Time for that personal overhaul.
2.) When things are going really smoothly for you
I know. This may be the exact opposite of the one I mentioned earlier. But so as not to confuse you, what this basically means is that if you encounter a number of coincidences that seem to be stepping stones towards where you want to be, take them as your sign. Be brave enough to level up. The Universe is letting you know that you are very much supported and loved.
3.) When you’re having doubts
Be mindful of your own feelings and emotions. If doubts are starting to creep in, whether it’s about yourself, your work, your relationship or whatever else matters to you, pause first and assess the situation. Then based on your reflection, begin anew with what will work best for you. And yes, feeling confused at times is normal. What’s essential is what you do there after.
4.) When you have prepared for it fully
You worked hard. Stayed committed all through out. Did everything you can with all that you have in the last few months or years. So what’s stopping you from turning the page and embarking on a new adventure you’ve always dreamed of? You are now built for the battle. Conquer it. There’s no perfect timing really; only the perfect decision to commit to one’s self and one’s growth. You are ready.
5.) When nothing seems to be happening
The world around you might seem too fast paced at time while you seem stuck at present. That’s your sign to get yourself out of that rut. Learn what you must, do what you can. But remember to keep moving forward after mastering the stillness around you. Because that space was actually preparing you for something far greater than you imagined.
If you reached this point then most probably you could have related to at least one of these.
If you did, congratulations.
This is your sign.
Welcome 2023 with a bang.
Time to start all over again. Because change will always be beautiful.
This year is not your usual Christmas holiday. And this is perhaps true for many.
What’s good about now though is that slowly travel and living restrictions are easing up and people have been slowly coping with the new normal.
Just in time for Christmas! Love it!
I must admit, I find joy now just driving around, admiring the Christmas decors of establishments left and right while listening to the Christmas tunes which seem to have a new meaning (and feeling!) altogether now.
Best gift ever. The freedom to finally celebrate Christmas the way we want to. Well almost. Haha.
But hey, let’s face it. Life is definitely getting better. So let’s just be grateful. *fingers crossed.
Now, I know that by this time you might slowly be getting excited to perhaps re-think how you can celebrate your Christmas this year.
Well, allow me to define first what Christmas is not so that you can truly reflect how you want to go about enjoying the holidays.
1.) Christmas is not all about gifts
Seriously. While it’s nice to be remembered or to be able to give others presents, Christmas isn’t all about that. The size of one’s gift given or received does not demarcate how valuable one is during the season. Remember, your presence alone and the presence of those dear to your heart are more than enough. Wouldn’t that be the best gift ever: simply being appreciated for who and what you are as you remain grateful for all the people who have showered you with love through the years. Think again before stressing yourself over that next present.
2.) Christmas is not about parties
While Christmas is synonymous to celebration of the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ, it doesn’t exactly mean that you need to pressure yourself to say yes to all the parties and go on a drinking spree until you go bankrupt. You can still celebrate intimately with friends and loved ones even over a simple dinner and still enjoy the spirit of the holiday season. Don’t ever base your Christmas on the amount of food on the table and number of drinks in the fridge.
3.) Christmas is not just for kids, families, friends and couples.
Christmas is within you. You don’t need anyone else to remind you how beautiful it is to celebrate it, as you are. Whether you’re single, you’re on your gray years or far away from home, you can still enjoy the holidays in your space by focusing on being grateful and being present in the moment. Don’t waste the holidays away. Go out. Create meaningful connections. And relive the Christmas vision you’ve always had in your heart.
4.) Christmas is not about the amount of money you have
Your money inside your wallet or bank account has nothing to do with the amount of happiness you can have this season of giving, only if you allow yourself to look beyond monetary concerns. Stop comparing, start living within your means. And find new meaning in finding freedom from superficial concerns. Don’t miss this chance to turn the holidays into a priceless experience instead.
5.) Christmas is not just a holiday break
While generally we associate it with rest because of the non-working holidays during Christmas season, Christmas is more than just a paid vacation. It’s actually a springboard for you to reflect and recalibrate as you prepare for yet another wonderful year ahead. Invest on yourself and on your growth and start working within instead. So that by the time comes we bid Christmas goodbye, you are more than prepared to say hello to the new year that awaits. Celebrate in your own way, your own pace. It’s not just part of a timeline. It’s there to stay. So own it.
I hope this blog helps you align your thoughts about Christmas.
At the end of the day,
Christmas is what it is for you. Make the most of it.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I can’t agree more.
If you’re like me, you probably love Christmas just as much.
For some reasons, I feel like Christmas brings out the goodness in each and every person around us.
“Pasko naman. (It’s Christmas anyway)” is something we hear commonly nowadays to justify something in our lives.
Whether it’s having a break to prevent burn out, to spending on something that we have always wanted, loving ourselves more or mending broken ties with others, we seem to have gravitated towards using Christmas as a worthy excuse.
But do we really have to in the first place?
Come to think of it: does the Christmas season have something really special in it to make it as the perfect time to do the things we want and be the person we are meant to be, meaning our own #bestmeever ?
Of course as a practicing Catholic, I pay tribute to the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ and I truly celebrate that as, like what they say, is the true essence of Christmas. We can never discount that. And to be clear, my previous statement was never about minimizing the real value of the Christmas season in general.
It’s all about making you guys think: why do you have to wait for Christmas to give yourself what is due?
Acceptance. Self-Care. Love. Peace. Forgiveness. Happiness. New beginnings. Time off. Happily Ever Afters.
Here’s the thing: all those were never based on perfect timing. More so on Christmas per se.
They are based on your choices. Your commitment to yourself and your growth. Your willingness to make things right as you give yourself what you truly deserve to be able to live your best life.
Today, take this to heart: that is what the Christmas season is reminding you:
that you can do it. You can be it. Now.
Don’t wait until it’s December 25 or for the clock to strike 12 midnight to demarcate January 1 to turn a new leaf.
What if you treat every single day instead like Christmas?
How different will your life be?
Imagine your days filled with hope, joy and lots of good times and laughter.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, or when you want to embark on a new unfamiliar adventure, why not say: “It’s ok. Pasko naman. (Anyway, it’s Christmas)?
Christmas was never just a period in time.
It’s a state of mind and heart.
A beautiful reminder of choosing to love ourselves more, just like how baby Jesus loves us.
Unconditionally.
This is your sign.
Reach out. Inquire within. Let yourself be.
Share that Christmas in your heart.
And watch yourself, others and everything else surrounding you become merrier.
It’s your season. Make the most of it.
You can’t move on if you don’t know how to let go. This.
Oftentimes, we tend to hold on to a lot of things from our past.
By doing so, we lose the opportunity to live in the now and enjoy what life has to offer.
Listen guys, becoming your own #bestmeever involves being able to be brave enough to let go of the things, situations and people that no longer serve you well or are no longer true and applicable in your current space.
Here’s a list of the 5 things that shouldn’t matter anymore in your current space:
Your previous mistakes
They already taught you important lessons. You took all those to heart. That’s enough. You don’t have to keep beating yourself up because it’s over and done with. What matters is you’ve grown from them.
2. Your failures
See it this way: you’re still here. You’ve made it this far. And that alone makes you successful. It means that you still have another chance to make things right. And not everyone has that beautiful opportunity. Seize it.
3. People you’ve outgrown
Not everyone has to play a part in your current story. And that doesn’t make you (or them) as a bad person. Each person that comes in your life has a purpose. And once they leave, that means they have already fulfilled theirs. And that’s something to be really grateful for.
4. The future’s uncertainty
No one has control over the future. Yes, you included. So stop stressing over what lies ahead and just focus on making the most of what today can be. That’s the only thing certain indeed: what you have now. The present moment.
5. The small stuff
Reflect on this: you’ve probably been through worse. And you made it through. So don’t let things which are not life changing so to speak take up most of your time, space and happiness. If it wouldn’t matter in the next 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks or 5 years, don’t sweat it.
As you read over this, I hope that you managed to reflect on your own and clear some space in your current life.
By making space in your present, you allow yourself to enjoy the gift of today to the fullest. And that’s one thing you can never bring back once it’s done.
You will always be the greatest investment you can make. So true.
At the end of the day, it’s all about you.
How you make your decisions, how you choose the people you choose to surround yourself with, how you keep your own self-worth intact.
It can be said that at times, how others see you (and treat you, mind you) is basically a reflection of how much work you put on yourself and how many things you actually do away with.
While the goal is not to please others with everything that you do, it is important to know and take to heart that your growth should also be on top of your list.
And that can look like feeling better about yourself, looking the part, achieving more and inspiring others along the way.
Not to mention that as you grow your worth as a person, other people will naturally gravitate towards you, allowing you to build new relationships, discover new opportunities and expand your reach and influence.
Sounds good huh?
Then allow me to share with you the 5 ways how you can grow your worth:
1.) Invest in yourself
I just had to repeat this. Yes, it’s that important. Take that class. Go on that vacation. Work out. Have that facial. Do whatever can help you improve yourself in all aspects. You deserve that. Remember, when you look good and feel good, you become more confident and desirable, not only to yourself but also in the eyes of others.
2.) Network
Allow yourself to expand your social circle and be intentional in meeting people who can add value to your life. I always say that you become the sum total of the 5 people you spend most of your time with so choose well. Maximize every event that you go to by making a wonderful impression on everyone that you meet, because who knows, someday, they might be the person (or they might introduce you to someone) that you need in your space. There’s no room for shyness when growth is at stake.
3.) Be comfortable in saying NO
Saying NO does not make you a bad person. It only shows how you give importance to yourself and your boundaries. By not always being readily available, you teach others to respect your time and space, something which you really deserve to have to begin with. Make your YES just as precious as you are, always.
4.) Be willing to wait
Great things take time. So stop pressuring yourself or rushing to the next opportunity that comes along. Learn to discern what you deserve. Don’t settle for less. You know what’s best for you. And take to heart that what’s meant for you will eventually find its way. You just have to be patient and enjoy the journey as you wait for what your heart truly longs for. Know your value.
5.) Let yourself be heardand recognized
You deserve to be heard and recognized by everyone else around you. Use your voice to influence others. Tap on your skills in writing, speaking or whatever you may be good at and share valuable pieces of insights and information for others to use and reflect on. Make a stand and inspire others to do the same as you use your voice to stir up discussions and mobilize inspired actions. Allow others to see a formidable leader in you.
So there. I hope these help you grow your worth so you will be able to take up more space as you become your own #bestmeever .
Trust me, your entire journey will be all worth it. Just like you.
You see, it’s the society , the people around us and even ourselves to be candid about it, that made us believe that we should always be on the go.
That every single day was all about taking a step forward, no matter how you feel, no matter how you are.
While at a glance, that can be such an empowering statement, let’s do a reality check.
At times, a step forward can actually mean just staying where you are or even taking a step back.
Indeed, pausing can do wonders for you so that you get to see the bigger picture and not be too anxious or worried along the way so you can continue on being your own #bestmeever even during the toughest days.
Allow me to share with you when it’s time to pause:
1.) When you’re tired
You are not a robot. Remember that. You were not born to just work to pay the bills. You do not exist just to be of great help to others. Burn out is real. Don’t even go there. Pause. Take a break. Rest. You need to recharge and recalibrate. You owe that to yourself. You can only do so much. And don’ t ever feel guilty for allowing yourself to stop and smell the flowers.
2.) When you’re feeling lost and confused
In this situation, a step forward may not be such at all, especially if you are coming from an overwhelmed space. Pause. Take a step back. Breathe. Check on the facts. Do some grounding to stabilize your emotions and give your logic some clarity. Important reminder: don’t risk moving forward if you’re not yet 100% committed. It’s either you’re all in, or not at all.
3.) When you’re happy
Savor the feeling. Pause and just express your gratitude. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and lock them in so that you will have something to remind you when days are gloomy. Take time off your routine to thank all those who have contributed to your happiness. That goes a long way and allows you to move forward eventually with a smile in your heart.
4.) When you’re angry
Trust me, you don’t want to regret anything that you’ve said and done coming from a space of anger. Heightened emotions oftentimes make you do things that are not necessarily aligned with your core values which can in turn just worsen the situation you are in. Pause. Take deep breaths. Calm yourself. Detach yourself from the situation. Reflect. And give yourself some time. You don’t need to resolve everything all at once. Come back when you’re ready. The impact will be different then.
5.) When making a big decision
Don’t act based on impulse. A life changing decision, whether it’s all about making a very big purchase, entering a relationship or ending one, or changing careers or moving out, takes time to process. Allow yourself to pause and reflect. You don’t need to rush things. Allow things to take their natural course and just go (and grow) with the flow. Consider all options first, list down the pros and cons, sleep over them and assess yourself when you’re ready to make that big decision for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone pressure you to making a decision you’re not fully sold to.
I hope you remember when to pause this time around.
So if you’re still reading this, take it as your sign.
Remember:
Pausing can be productive. You just have to trust yourself and the process more.
