“Don’t let money change you.” One thing I always say to people who ask me for financial advice.
I mean, I am no financial guru nor a money making expert, however, I’d like to believe that I know how to manage my finances, one way or another. Haha!
Through the years, I made sure that I have enough money for investments, my savings and life’s little luxuries, enough for me to say that I can live comfortably with what I earn. And within my means, if I may add.
The latter actually is sacred to me; I don’t really splurge on stuff I can’t afford or would have troubles paying off.
More than that, I also have seen a lot of relationships fall apart because of money matters. I mean, we’re talking about like years of friendship, families torn apart and romantic relationships turned sour because of unpaid debts.
Yeah, someone had to say that. And I guess being one of those who have experienced that, I can also relate fully to that ugly feeling when money takes control of even the most beautiful relationships, or so I (we) thought.
So since I have been asked time and again by people who are becoming highly anxious about their debts on how to deal with it, I decided to share my take on it.
Mind you, I do all these in the rare occasions I make a loan for an important investment e.g. a new property for AirBnB (there’s what you call good debt guys, none the less, it should be taken seriously as well) so that I get to maintain a good relationship with whomever I am getting money from e.g. super close friend (emphasis on super), bank loan etc. So yeah, it’s possible to make loans work for you without sacrificing your relationships.
Here are the 5 things you should remember:
Face your debt
The impulse of most people is to run away from their debts. Mind you though: you cannot resolve what you don’t face. So accept the fact that you have a debt to pay and face it responsibly. By this we mean not denying yourself to live in the now nor denying the existence of the debt, while you do away with the anxieties you are attaching to the future. When you start facing your “problem”, solutions will come to surface. You were brave enough to make that loan, so be braver to take responsibility for it.
2. Honor your word
Was there a contract signed? What were the agreements? Ensure that you are on the same page and never assume anything to avoid any misinterpretations. Remember, the moment that you affix your signature on something is the moment you put your credibility and integrity on the line. Never compromise them. Make sure to remember important dates and give payments that are due during that time. And yes, put everything into writing always.
3. Be honest
Ok, admittedly there might be some unforeseen events that may cause you to have problems paying up. Tell that upfront ahead of time. Approach with humility. Discuss possible solutions. Never just remain silent and wait for things to fix themselves, because more often than not, they won’t. Don’t give false hopes or pretend that everything is still according to planned. Remember, lying may get you off the hook initially, but will definitely put you in hot water in the long run. Honesty goes a long way. Never underestimate the compassion of people. But don’t ever abuse them too.
4. Practice empathy towards the other person
While it’s stressful to have debts, consider also that another person or party is involved. It’s not just about you. It’s also stressful for the person/party that you owe money to. So ask yourself this: how does the other person feel? what can help him/her understand better the situation I am caught in? What compromise can I propose for consideration? Remember, relationships will always be more important than money so be sensitive enough to acknowledge the needs and wants of the other person involved, whether a friend, family, loved one or business or work contacts. Initiate updates, assure them every now and then and commit to agreed upon deadlines. Don’t ever ignore them, make broken promises or open ended deadlines…I am beyond sure you don’t want that to happen to you as well and the other party/person does not deserve to be treated that way especially if they have done their part and have given you much consideration already.
5. Create solid plans
This can make or break any relationship. Seriously, if you don’t have any solid plans (and yes, that’s intentionally with an s!), then you’re putting yourself and your relationship in danger. Have plan A, plan b, or even a plan c to ensure that all bases are covered and you don’t go back to the other person/party with more negative news just because you only relied on one solution. While crafting many plans would be nice, committing to them is more crucial. Do away with lip service. Set exact deadlines. Seek help if needed. Walk the talk. Take the lead. That’s part of you becoming your own #bestmeever as you take responsibility for your self, debts and actions .
So let me end this blog post by reminding everyone that
your debts should never define you nor your relationships. Your response towards them, will.
It all starts with being so specific and precise about what is it that you really want to become? How does your best version look like? What does it feel? Check on your core values and create that vivid scenario in your mind so that you have something to anchor on as you transition towards your best. Avoid generic statements like “I just want to be happier.” or “I am financially stable.” . Fill in as much details as you can. Write them down if you must and you can add pictures as visual support even. Remember, the clearer you are, the better because your action plans become more aligned with your end goal in mind.
2.) Healthy habits
Yes, health is wealth. So we must treat our over all wellness and well-being as something that is priceless. Check on your habits. What are not working for you? What can you change? What can you add to compliment your desired results in your life? This requires a whole lot of honesty and commitment because as they say, old habits die hard. However, by choice, you can overcome those which have been wrecking havoc in your life, one step at a time, one day at a time. Whether it’s all about eating mindfully this time around, exercising, prioritizing your mental health, sanitizing your social circle or simply letting yourself be — create healthy habits that will help you become your best eventually.
3.) Commitment to a definite timeline
Your “when” is just as important as your “what” , “why” and “how”. Give yourself a specific target date of completion. When do you want to achieve all these? Identify milestones along the way so that you will be continuously inspired. Stay committed to your goals even during tough times by being flexible in your approach and celebrating growth of whatever size or impact. Do away with your notion of “someday” and “one day” and focus on turning each and every moment as a potential “day one” — where in you’re overly excited, very committed and hungry to pursue your dreams as you become the person you’re meant to be.
4.) A loving support group
While it’s awesome (and mandatory, actually) to be the greatest fan of one’s self, it would be nice to have people rallying behind your back as you reach for the stars and make your dreams come true. Involve the people closest to your heart: family, friends, significant others, mentors etc. — basically whoever you think can inspire you along the way when the going gets tough and when you have wins to celebrate collectively.
5.) An awesome life coach
No joke. Really. Get yourself a highly qualified coach to journey with you so that you get to navigate clearly in your personal or professional journey with the greatest of ease. Choose one you resonate with and one who embodies your very own aspirations e.g. if you want to work on your weight, self perception and mindset, try seeking for a coach that has done that and delivered results for himself and others. before . Someone who walks the talk, basically. Note that your chosen coach must just be inspiring for you so that each and every session that you have with that person, will be life changing as he motivates you fully, genuinely. Remember, your coach is perhaps one of the best investments you can make as you embark on a journey towards personal growth. So choose well.
After reading all these, now it’s time for you to reflect: what’s that one thing I can do immediately to become the best version of myself?
Then take it from there.
Cheering you on!
Happy new year! Which basically equates to a happy new you! Hopefully.
Here are 5 signs that it’s time to start all over again in 2023:
1.) When things are not working out for you
Come from a space of honesty and ask yourself what’s not in alignment in your life? What’s causing unnecessary stress and chaos? Remember, as the saying goes, some things have to fall apart so that the right ones can fall into place. Maybe that’s telling you the same: that you’re not supposed to be in the same space that has become too small or too crowded for you. Time for that personal overhaul.
2.) When things are going really smoothly for you
I know. This may be the exact opposite of the one I mentioned earlier. But so as not to confuse you, what this basically means is that if you encounter a number of coincidences that seem to be stepping stones towards where you want to be, take them as your sign. Be brave enough to level up. The Universe is letting you know that you are very much supported and loved.
3.) When you’re having doubts
Be mindful of your own feelings and emotions. If doubts are starting to creep in, whether it’s about yourself, your work, your relationship or whatever else matters to you, pause first and assess the situation. Then based on your reflection, begin anew with what will work best for you. And yes, feeling confused at times is normal. What’s essential is what you do there after.
4.) When you have prepared for it fully
You worked hard. Stayed committed all through out. Did everything you can with all that you have in the last few months or years. So what’s stopping you from turning the page and embarking on a new adventure you’ve always dreamed of? You are now built for the battle. Conquer it. There’s no perfect timing really; only the perfect decision to commit to one’s self and one’s growth. You are ready.
5.) When nothing seems to be happening
The world around you might seem too fast paced at time while you seem stuck at present. That’s your sign to get yourself out of that rut. Learn what you must, do what you can. But remember to keep moving forward after mastering the stillness around you. Because that space was actually preparing you for something far greater than you imagined.
If you reached this point then most probably you could have related to at least one of these.
If you did, congratulations.
This is your sign.
Welcome 2023 with a bang.
Time to start all over again. Because change will always be beautiful.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I can’t agree more.
If you’re like me, you probably love Christmas just as much.
For some reasons, I feel like Christmas brings out the goodness in each and every person around us.
“Pasko naman. (It’s Christmas anyway)” is something we hear commonly nowadays to justify something in our lives.
Whether it’s having a break to prevent burn out, to spending on something that we have always wanted, loving ourselves more or mending broken ties with others, we seem to have gravitated towards using Christmas as a worthy excuse.
But do we really have to in the first place?
Come to think of it: does the Christmas season have something really special in it to make it as the perfect time to do the things we want and be the person we are meant to be, meaning our own #bestmeever ?
Of course as a practicing Catholic, I pay tribute to the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ and I truly celebrate that as, like what they say, is the true essence of Christmas. We can never discount that. And to be clear, my previous statement was never about minimizing the real value of the Christmas season in general.
It’s all about making you guys think: why do you have to wait for Christmas to give yourself what is due?
Acceptance. Self-Care. Love. Peace. Forgiveness. Happiness. New beginnings. Time off. Happily Ever Afters.
Here’s the thing: all those were never based on perfect timing. More so on Christmas per se.
They are based on your choices. Your commitment to yourself and your growth. Your willingness to make things right as you give yourself what you truly deserve to be able to live your best life.
Today, take this to heart: that is what the Christmas season is reminding you:
that you can do it. You can be it. Now.
Don’t wait until it’s December 25 or for the clock to strike 12 midnight to demarcate January 1 to turn a new leaf.
What if you treat every single day instead like Christmas?
How different will your life be?
Imagine your days filled with hope, joy and lots of good times and laughter.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, or when you want to embark on a new unfamiliar adventure, why not say: “It’s ok. Pasko naman. (Anyway, it’s Christmas)?
Christmas was never just a period in time.
It’s a state of mind and heart.
A beautiful reminder of choosing to love ourselves more, just like how baby Jesus loves us.
Unconditionally.
This is your sign.
Reach out. Inquire within. Let yourself be.
Share that Christmas in your heart.
And watch yourself, others and everything else surrounding you become merrier.
It’s your season. Make the most of it.
You can’t move on if you don’t know how to let go. This.
Oftentimes, we tend to hold on to a lot of things from our past.
By doing so, we lose the opportunity to live in the now and enjoy what life has to offer.
Listen guys, becoming your own #bestmeever involves being able to be brave enough to let go of the things, situations and people that no longer serve you well or are no longer true and applicable in your current space.
Here’s a list of the 5 things that shouldn’t matter anymore in your current space:
Your previous mistakes
They already taught you important lessons. You took all those to heart. That’s enough. You don’t have to keep beating yourself up because it’s over and done with. What matters is you’ve grown from them.
2. Your failures
See it this way: you’re still here. You’ve made it this far. And that alone makes you successful. It means that you still have another chance to make things right. And not everyone has that beautiful opportunity. Seize it.
3. People you’ve outgrown
Not everyone has to play a part in your current story. And that doesn’t make you (or them) as a bad person. Each person that comes in your life has a purpose. And once they leave, that means they have already fulfilled theirs. And that’s something to be really grateful for.
4. The future’s uncertainty
No one has control over the future. Yes, you included. So stop stressing over what lies ahead and just focus on making the most of what today can be. That’s the only thing certain indeed: what you have now. The present moment.
5. The small stuff
Reflect on this: you’ve probably been through worse. And you made it through. So don’t let things which are not life changing so to speak take up most of your time, space and happiness. If it wouldn’t matter in the next 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks or 5 years, don’t sweat it.
As you read over this, I hope that you managed to reflect on your own and clear some space in your current life.
By making space in your present, you allow yourself to enjoy the gift of today to the fullest. And that’s one thing you can never bring back once it’s done.
You will always be the greatest investment you can make. So true.
At the end of the day, it’s all about you.
How you make your decisions, how you choose the people you choose to surround yourself with, how you keep your own self-worth intact.
It can be said that at times, how others see you (and treat you, mind you) is basically a reflection of how much work you put on yourself and how many things you actually do away with.
While the goal is not to please others with everything that you do, it is important to know and take to heart that your growth should also be on top of your list.
And that can look like feeling better about yourself, looking the part, achieving more and inspiring others along the way.
Not to mention that as you grow your worth as a person, other people will naturally gravitate towards you, allowing you to build new relationships, discover new opportunities and expand your reach and influence.
Sounds good huh?
Then allow me to share with you the 5 ways how you can grow your worth:
1.) Invest in yourself
I just had to repeat this. Yes, it’s that important. Take that class. Go on that vacation. Work out. Have that facial. Do whatever can help you improve yourself in all aspects. You deserve that. Remember, when you look good and feel good, you become more confident and desirable, not only to yourself but also in the eyes of others.
2.) Network
Allow yourself to expand your social circle and be intentional in meeting people who can add value to your life. I always say that you become the sum total of the 5 people you spend most of your time with so choose well. Maximize every event that you go to by making a wonderful impression on everyone that you meet, because who knows, someday, they might be the person (or they might introduce you to someone) that you need in your space. There’s no room for shyness when growth is at stake.
3.) Be comfortable in saying NO
Saying NO does not make you a bad person. It only shows how you give importance to yourself and your boundaries. By not always being readily available, you teach others to respect your time and space, something which you really deserve to have to begin with. Make your YES just as precious as you are, always.
4.) Be willing to wait
Great things take time. So stop pressuring yourself or rushing to the next opportunity that comes along. Learn to discern what you deserve. Don’t settle for less. You know what’s best for you. And take to heart that what’s meant for you will eventually find its way. You just have to be patient and enjoy the journey as you wait for what your heart truly longs for. Know your value.
5.) Let yourself be heardand recognized
You deserve to be heard and recognized by everyone else around you. Use your voice to influence others. Tap on your skills in writing, speaking or whatever you may be good at and share valuable pieces of insights and information for others to use and reflect on. Make a stand and inspire others to do the same as you use your voice to stir up discussions and mobilize inspired actions. Allow others to see a formidable leader in you.
So there. I hope these help you grow your worth so you will be able to take up more space as you become your own #bestmeever .
Trust me, your entire journey will be all worth it. Just like you.
You see, it’s the society , the people around us and even ourselves to be candid about it, that made us believe that we should always be on the go.
That every single day was all about taking a step forward, no matter how you feel, no matter how you are.
While at a glance, that can be such an empowering statement, let’s do a reality check.
At times, a step forward can actually mean just staying where you are or even taking a step back.
Indeed, pausing can do wonders for you so that you get to see the bigger picture and not be too anxious or worried along the way so you can continue on being your own #bestmeever even during the toughest days.
Allow me to share with you when it’s time to pause:
1.) When you’re tired
You are not a robot. Remember that. You were not born to just work to pay the bills. You do not exist just to be of great help to others. Burn out is real. Don’t even go there. Pause. Take a break. Rest. You need to recharge and recalibrate. You owe that to yourself. You can only do so much. And don’ t ever feel guilty for allowing yourself to stop and smell the flowers.
2.) When you’re feeling lost and confused
In this situation, a step forward may not be such at all, especially if you are coming from an overwhelmed space. Pause. Take a step back. Breathe. Check on the facts. Do some grounding to stabilize your emotions and give your logic some clarity. Important reminder: don’t risk moving forward if you’re not yet 100% committed. It’s either you’re all in, or not at all.
3.) When you’re happy
Savor the feeling. Pause and just express your gratitude. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and lock them in so that you will have something to remind you when days are gloomy. Take time off your routine to thank all those who have contributed to your happiness. That goes a long way and allows you to move forward eventually with a smile in your heart.
4.) When you’re angry
Trust me, you don’t want to regret anything that you’ve said and done coming from a space of anger. Heightened emotions oftentimes make you do things that are not necessarily aligned with your core values which can in turn just worsen the situation you are in. Pause. Take deep breaths. Calm yourself. Detach yourself from the situation. Reflect. And give yourself some time. You don’t need to resolve everything all at once. Come back when you’re ready. The impact will be different then.
5.) When making a big decision
Don’t act based on impulse. A life changing decision, whether it’s all about making a very big purchase, entering a relationship or ending one, or changing careers or moving out, takes time to process. Allow yourself to pause and reflect. You don’t need to rush things. Allow things to take their natural course and just go (and grow) with the flow. Consider all options first, list down the pros and cons, sleep over them and assess yourself when you’re ready to make that big decision for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone pressure you to making a decision you’re not fully sold to.
I hope you remember when to pause this time around.
So if you’re still reading this, take it as your sign.
Remember:
Pausing can be productive. You just have to trust yourself and the process more.
I love celebrations.
And that’s an understatement.
Big or small, I love the energy when people come together and just express their gratitude over milestones and wins.
The energy is so inviting and inspiring whenever I see people smile, laugh and just focus on being present in this happy moment, alongside others who share their joy.
Applies also to people who celebrate on their own by choice. You’re entitled to that to begin with.
Can’t we just be like this every single day? Haha! I wish.
I mean admittedly, life throws us a curve ball, sometimes a dozen even, haha. and these painful experiences despite their lessons, make us forget how beautifully happy life is in general.
Well, today, let me remind me how amazing your life is as you get the chance to enjoy these 5 important life celebrations and the lessons they bring with them. Remember, for as long as you’re alive, you have the opportunity to celebrate these. Don’t stress yourself much if some haven’t happened yet. Just take this time to believe that eventually, everything will fall into place when you’re ready. Trust the timing of your life so that you don’t become anxious about anything unnecessary.
1.) Your birthday
Please, remember this: you are never too old to celebrate your birthday. You deserve to acknowledge your own existence. Each birthday of yours is reminding you of an important lesson: you matter. You were given a chance to live in this world, to take up space and reach up to whatever age you’re meant to. So never let anything or anyone stop you from living a full life. Aging is a beautiful experience. It reminds you of how far you’ve gone.
2.) Your first love
Love is such a wonderful feeling right? And who doesn’t miss that first time that you felt butterflies in your stomach as your heart beat faster at the sight of your first beloved who made you feel like the only person in this world? Even as you age, your first love never dies. And that teaches you a wonderful lesson: to always hold on to hope and love. That no matter what happens, you will always have beautiful memories that will remind you that once in your life, you felt special and that you allowed yourself to listen to your heart and just love. So when the going gets tough, and during days that you feel less attractive or not worthy, remember that once in your life, those thoughts never existed because you chose to see through the eyes of love. And you can do that all over again by choice.
3.) Your first award
Being recognized for what you do (and who you are) can be life changing. So try to remember the first time someone gave you the recognition you deserved, whether it was a simple compliment, a pat on the back, receiving a certificate or trophy and savor that moment. It’s an amazing reminder that you are good enough. You have what it takes to succeed and those wins, big or small, are a testament of your greatness. When in doubt, remember how you rose above all the challenges you had before and came out on top.
4.) Your first job and salary
Everyone must start off somewhere. And no matter what your first job is, it’s actually serves as a beautiful reminder: that being humble and persistent goes a long way. Still remember how much you were celebrating when you got your first salary? What did you do with it? Notice how it seemed like such a big deal before. Today, if you feel that you’re not earning much or you haven’t achieved enough, look back when you were starting your career and realize how much you’ve grown over all in your practice. Should you be unemployed at this time, remember that you only lost a job perhaps, but the skills to land in one, you still have those intact. So don’t fret. You’re just starting all over again.
5.) Your first born
Unconditional love. That perhaps is the best lesson this celebration of new life is teaching us. That special feeling that you’re willing to give your all to this being which was born from love. That’s such a beautiful reminder as you grow in harmony with the members of your family, through good times and bad times. It’s a lasting promise that you should be willing to keep because remember, at the end of the day, your children will be your legacy. Raise them to be amazing ones with your love.
I hope reminiscing these life celebrations made you smile.
You still have a long way to go to enjoy your life journey as much as you can.
After all, you’re on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
And that’s something to celebrate about every single day.
No pain, no gain.
We grew up hearing this, time and again.
And at times, I must admit, I can’t help but agree with this.
While I wouldn’t mind having a smooth sailing life to begin with, I have embraced the fact that life in general has its own twists and turns.
Most of which are beyond our control.
Which actually makes sense to just let things be and embrace the lessons each and every not so good experience that life may bring instead of getting anxious and stressed.
I know. That won’t be a walk in the park.
However, it’s very much possible.
To see the silver lining in every painful experience we have.
And change for the better as we anchor on all the lessons learned.
Allow me to share with you the 5 painful life experiences that will shape you.
1.) A death of a loved one
This one is inevitable. As much as we want to be with people closes to our hearts, we just can’t. Death is something we cannot predict, more so stop permanently. It’s as natural as the sun rising daily, and as day turns to night. While the intensity of the pain may vary due to the cause or timeliness of the death, each death teaches us an important lesson: how to fully let go and be at peace eventually with the decision. It may take time and a whole lot of effort, however, full, genuine acceptance of things, people and situations which are no longer there are crucial for us to move on and forward when life throws a curve ball. It also teaches us the important lessons of valuing relationships and making the most of each and every moment, as we can’t really say when it’s our time to go (or let go of someone). Treat every single day as if it was your last. Very good reminder indeed.
2.) A major break up
Ouch. I feel you. Haha! I know, this can wreck havoc in one’s emotional state especially if you have always believed that you will end up with the person who broke your heart. Well take note of this: it doesn’t mean that if someone broke your heart, you won’t have your happily ever after someday. Because trust me, you will. And that’s the important lesson a break up teaches you: that you have to be patient enough to get what you truly deserve. That you need to love yourself first so that others will love you just as much. And when you’re able and ready, the right one for you will come eventually. You just have to be the love that you want to receive.
3.) A significant failure
I know it can be so frustrating when you work so hard on something and not get the desired results. Whether it’s a wasted opportunity, a competition lost, a business that went bankrupt … they all are teaching us the same thing : that we can always do better. Knowing that there’s room for improvement should inspire us to continue journeying towards our best . Remember, it doesn’t end when you lose ; it only begins when you embrace the new lessons learned and apply them there after.
4.) A betrayal
Experiencing something that’s totally unexpected like a betrayal can hurt big time. More so if it comes from a person that’s close to your heart. One can’t help but feel immense hurt, anger and pain when trust is broken. But trust me, that had to happen in order for you to learn very significant lessons in self-worth and discernment. Betrayals teach you to become more mindful about the relationships you keep and the people you allow in your space. It teaches you about what you deserve and how to value yourself more. And those lessons will go a long way as you meet various people in your life time. It pays to know.
5.) Outgrowing people, things and situations
There will come a time that certain relationships with people, things and circumstances will no longer spark the same joy or ignite further inspiration. That can be such a heart breaking experience to realize that something familiar is slowly fading to oblivion. Whether it’s a childhood friend, a place you grew up with or something you owned, letting go can be so difficult. However, it’s a must because it teaches you that life goes on. Not everyone or everything must play a part in your next chapter. It’s ok if it ends there. It already served its purpose. Be grateful that it happened. Then bravely turn the next page as you welcome new people and experiences in your space. You’ll be fine.
I hope that by reading through these you got to evaluate and appreciate your pains more.
Truth be told, each pain serves a beautiful purpose.
“We can’t do the Lasik procedure on your eyes. You have cataract in each.”
My mouth wide open, my heart fell down the floor.
It can’t be.
Yep, that was my very response when the doctor first told me that I had cataracts in my eyes.
Of course I was in extreme disbelief because 1.) I wasn’t that old yet (young at 41) and 2.) that means I have to be operated on, much like how my mom and favorite aunt had theirs removed last year. And 3.) that means that I will have to put my life on hold for quite sometime in order for me to heal.
Come to think of it: that was actually my fear: to “stop living”. For the longest time, I have gotten used to my work routine and it just feels weird and scary for me to just be at home, doing nothing. While I have always been an advocate of over-all wellness, self-care and self-love, I must admit though that hard stops are sometimes difficult for me because I know that a lot of people depend on me to help them in their own personal journeys in discovering their own #bestmeever .
But hey, I can choose to resist or just accept my situation whole heartedly and happily while looking for that seemingly elusive silverlining at present. I chose to go hunting for the good stuff. Haha!
So immediately after returning from my birthday trip in Singapore, I had my blood work done, got my doctor’s clearance and then scheduled my operation. Mind you though: everything happened within a week’s time after returning. Yep that fast. So on my end, I also had to fix my schedule, do a general cleaning of my space so that everything will be disinfected and talk to my clients and tell them that I will be gone for a whole two weeks. I also had to rush the templates for my morning postings in my coaching community on Facebook so that people can still continue reflecting daily even in my absence.
After setting everything up and making sure that I have covered all bases, I was finally ready to undergo my surgery.
“I am quite surprised that you are still able to function with your eyes, given this.”
And then the doctor showed me how big my cataract was.
See that gray part blocking the entire eye? That’s the culprit. I know! I got scared too upon seeing it.
A part of me felt relieved that it was detected because for more than a decade, I have been using driving glasses and contact lenses whenever I go on-air or deliver live talks. It never struck me that I had something like that until recently when my night vision deteriorated fully and I can’t even drive and focus well when the sun is up. Everything was blurry and grayish…uhm, and now I know why,
The promise of being able to see clearly minus the glasses made me excitedly put on my hospital gown. I would have wanted a better fit, but who am I to complain?
This is how I would look if I get pregnant. Lol.
Upon entering the operating, I remember praying to God to at least allow me to surrender to the entire process and just trust everything. Believe me, when you’re going under the knife and it involves your eyes and you are not sedated, it’s not really a walk in the park experience seeing what gets to poke your eyes. Haha!
The operation was a success, albeit some of the moments the doctor had to stop because I was tensing up. Apparently, I was as calm as can be when my left eye was operated on first and then the week after, I had my right eye done. And that became a different story. Thank God for Dr. Gerard Bordador of Veterans Eye Center for being so patient, careful and understanding of his wriggly patient who gets startled whenever something is poked in his eyes. Haha!
Mind you though, it was just the beginning. The real work comes in when I have to apply eye drops hourly and take my antibiotics daily. These also coincide with the fact that: 1.) I couldn’t wash my face for two weeks to avoid soap getting in my eyes 2.) I can’t lift heavy objects, more so work out as intensely as I used to for a month 3.) Can’t bend down, moreso do inversions so I have to say good bye temporarily to my aerial silks practice 4.) Can’t drive or spend long hours straining my eyes online until it heals 5.) I have to wear my transition glasses for a month or so to ensure my eyes are protected, indoor and outdoor.
The last one was a relief because I didn’t like the way the goggles looked on me. Lol.
My constant, up to now as I blog.
Anyway, the million dollar question is: does it hurt?
Answer: during the operation, it was a bit uncomfortable but didn’t sting really. I mean, I doubt it if anyone enjoys getting his eyes poked while staring at a kaleidoscope of lights haha. Afterwards, that’s when eye drops hurt at times (remember there’s a wound in the eyes and it’s still not fully healed), which led me to shed tears and hop a round a bit. Haha! I also got a head ache after my right eye got operated on but it was easily gone after I took paracetamol. The other discomforts to which I am still gradually adjusting to now is being able to read text upclose as some letters seemed garbled at times but I was told that it will eventually be ok, of which I truly believe because I myself have less typo errors now, unlike during the first few days, that’s why I decided to blog only now before starting on my regular coaching sessions.
My views and my life definitely changed.
For the better.
Come to think of it, I realized I really needed this mandatory time of. Unknown to many, I recently experienced a heart break that left me feeling a bit lost, confused, and in pain. That’s a different story though. I was quietly navigating through my emotions then with the help of my own coach and my loving, selected few who were my support system. The hard stop allowed me to process everything better and treat myself kinder, because apparently, for quite sometime, I wasn’t really giving myself the kind of love I willingly give others. I just forgot and this pause made me remember.
The change in my daily routine really helped. While I struggled at first to contain all my unused energy, I found a blissful experience in just letting things be, journaling and reflecting about what I can do differently in my life. I took the opportunity to see things differently and clearly this time around, inspired by my cataract operation. I began assessing my space, my relationships and myself, as honestly and as vulnerable as possible. And that allowed me to grow with the flow in my current space where fear of not being in control no longer existed.
Here’s a glimpse of what I was doing in the last two weeks:
I started doing short morning walks. Here’s me doing one at 6am around the amenities area of my condo. Started with 10 minuter walks, gradually increasing to an hour as days go by, while being mindful of not letting my sweat get in my eyes. Or else. Running can wait.
I have recently discovered the joys in doing stretching in the morning. As I can only do light exercise and I am not allowed to bend over or invert, this routine helped me loosen my tight muscles and prevents me from having a sedentary lifestyle while stuck at home. My yoga mat has become one of my best friends.
I’ve said it before and will say it again: Netflix is one of the greatest inventions of the century. I can’t imagine surviving the last two weeks without it. I got to watch a lot of documentaries and reality tv series this time around and learned a thing or two that would like to include in my own bucketlist. Soon.
I got myself new transition glasses, without any grades for my eyes! My first time in over 10 years to own a pair of shades! can’t wait to head to the beach soon. But for now, I use it when I go online or when I have to do my grocery. And I can see 10x better or even more actually compared to before, minus the thick graded lenses! Wohoo!
Brave as I am, I started going out (to the mall) to do errands by myself and burn calories while doing so (indoor walks where there is less pollution and exposure to unwanted elements). Trivia: Gosh, I was like a kid gushing at how bright the mall lights were and how I can now read signages from afar. Never seen everything in full color until now. Simple joys but my heart overflowed after seeing so much gray before.
While it was tempting to just eat every now and then with the free time I have onhand, I chose to still be mindful of my diet. I stuck with my intermittent fasting, ate more veggies (something I learned from a previous relationship that allowed me to love myself more) and committed to my daily cardio routine. And lo and behold, I managed to shed off more pounds in the process, to date, after almost three months, 14 lbs to be exact. My target is to lose perhaps another 5 more lbs and I will have my 2018 body then where I was at my fittest. Pushing forward! Grateful that heart breaks have beautifying effects on me. Haha!
The time off allowed me to reconnect with my roots as well. After 10 years, went back to visit my province in Pampanga. Everyone there was caught by surprise and some even cried. It was a heart warming experience to see my relatives whom I haven’t seen for the longest time. Time heals all wounds indeed. And this season in my life allowed me to experience just that. This one’s for the books.
And of course, God wanted to cheer me up and sent me good news. So I got nominated in the 2022 Coach Awards for Best Executive Coach and Best Wellness Coach . Two categories. Alongside coaching industry leaders and game changers from all over the world. My heart jumped for joy, especially upon seeing people vote for me and campaign for me openly. Win or lose, I am grateful for this opportunity to be recognized for what I love doing best. Please do click on the highlighted links to vote please. Love you!
Lastly, I finally got to hang out with dear friends. Gosh, how much I missed human interaction with people who truly get me and vise versa! This lunch was fun and life changing in its own way as always. They said I was rocking my glasses. And that my new body was banging. Thank you for the vote of confidence my friends. I gratefully receive your compliments.
Went to my check up the other day and this is how my eye looks like. All clear now. Healing beautifully.
Exactly how I feel within.
Healing happily. Completely.
My cataract operation allowed me to see things clearly and feel deeply.
