You will always be the greatest investment you can make. So true.
At the end of the day, it’s all about you.
How you make your decisions, how you choose the people you choose to surround yourself with, how you keep your own self-worth intact.
It can be said that at times, how others see you (and treat you, mind you) is basically a reflection of how much work you put on yourself and how many things you actually do away with.
While the goal is not to please others with everything that you do, it is important to know and take to heart that your growth should also be on top of your list.
And that can look like feeling better about yourself, looking the part, achieving more and inspiring others along the way.
Not to mention that as you grow your worth as a person, other people will naturally gravitate towards you, allowing you to build new relationships, discover new opportunities and expand your reach and influence.
Sounds good huh?
Then allow me to share with you the 5 ways how you can grow your worth:
1.) Invest in yourself
I just had to repeat this. Yes, it’s that important. Take that class. Go on that vacation. Work out. Have that facial. Do whatever can help you improve yourself in all aspects. You deserve that. Remember, when you look good and feel good, you become more confident and desirable, not only to yourself but also in the eyes of others.
2.) Network
Allow yourself to expand your social circle and be intentional in meeting people who can add value to your life. I always say that you become the sum total of the 5 people you spend most of your time with so choose well. Maximize every event that you go to by making a wonderful impression on everyone that you meet, because who knows, someday, they might be the person (or they might introduce you to someone) that you need in your space. There’s no room for shyness when growth is at stake.
3.) Be comfortable in saying NO
Saying NO does not make you a bad person. It only shows how you give importance to yourself and your boundaries. By not always being readily available, you teach others to respect your time and space, something which you really deserve to have to begin with. Make your YES just as precious as you are, always.
4.) Be willing to wait
Great things take time. So stop pressuring yourself or rushing to the next opportunity that comes along. Learn to discern what you deserve. Don’t settle for less. You know what’s best for you. And take to heart that what’s meant for you will eventually find its way. You just have to be patient and enjoy the journey as you wait for what your heart truly longs for. Know your value.
5.) Let yourself be heardand recognized
You deserve to be heard and recognized by everyone else around you. Use your voice to influence others. Tap on your skills in writing, speaking or whatever you may be good at and share valuable pieces of insights and information for others to use and reflect on. Make a stand and inspire others to do the same as you use your voice to stir up discussions and mobilize inspired actions. Allow others to see a formidable leader in you.
So there. I hope these help you grow your worth so you will be able to take up more space as you become your own #bestmeever .
Trust me, your entire journey will be all worth it. Just like you.
You see, it’s the society , the people around us and even ourselves to be candid about it, that made us believe that we should always be on the go.
That every single day was all about taking a step forward, no matter how you feel, no matter how you are.
While at a glance, that can be such an empowering statement, let’s do a reality check.
At times, a step forward can actually mean just staying where you are or even taking a step back.
Indeed, pausing can do wonders for you so that you get to see the bigger picture and not be too anxious or worried along the way so you can continue on being your own #bestmeever even during the toughest days.
Allow me to share with you when it’s time to pause:
1.) When you’re tired
You are not a robot. Remember that. You were not born to just work to pay the bills. You do not exist just to be of great help to others. Burn out is real. Don’t even go there. Pause. Take a break. Rest. You need to recharge and recalibrate. You owe that to yourself. You can only do so much. And don’ t ever feel guilty for allowing yourself to stop and smell the flowers.
2.) When you’re feeling lost and confused
In this situation, a step forward may not be such at all, especially if you are coming from an overwhelmed space. Pause. Take a step back. Breathe. Check on the facts. Do some grounding to stabilize your emotions and give your logic some clarity. Important reminder: don’t risk moving forward if you’re not yet 100% committed. It’s either you’re all in, or not at all.
3.) When you’re happy
Savor the feeling. Pause and just express your gratitude. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and lock them in so that you will have something to remind you when days are gloomy. Take time off your routine to thank all those who have contributed to your happiness. That goes a long way and allows you to move forward eventually with a smile in your heart.
4.) When you’re angry
Trust me, you don’t want to regret anything that you’ve said and done coming from a space of anger. Heightened emotions oftentimes make you do things that are not necessarily aligned with your core values which can in turn just worsen the situation you are in. Pause. Take deep breaths. Calm yourself. Detach yourself from the situation. Reflect. And give yourself some time. You don’t need to resolve everything all at once. Come back when you’re ready. The impact will be different then.
5.) When making a big decision
Don’t act based on impulse. A life changing decision, whether it’s all about making a very big purchase, entering a relationship or ending one, or changing careers or moving out, takes time to process. Allow yourself to pause and reflect. You don’t need to rush things. Allow things to take their natural course and just go (and grow) with the flow. Consider all options first, list down the pros and cons, sleep over them and assess yourself when you’re ready to make that big decision for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone pressure you to making a decision you’re not fully sold to.
I hope you remember when to pause this time around.
So if you’re still reading this, take it as your sign.
Remember:
Pausing can be productive. You just have to trust yourself and the process more.
I love celebrations.
And that’s an understatement.
Big or small, I love the energy when people come together and just express their gratitude over milestones and wins.
The energy is so inviting and inspiring whenever I see people smile, laugh and just focus on being present in this happy moment, alongside others who share their joy.
Applies also to people who celebrate on their own by choice. You’re entitled to that to begin with.
Can’t we just be like this every single day? Haha! I wish.
I mean admittedly, life throws us a curve ball, sometimes a dozen even, haha. and these painful experiences despite their lessons, make us forget how beautifully happy life is in general.
Well, today, let me remind me how amazing your life is as you get the chance to enjoy these 5 important life celebrations and the lessons they bring with them. Remember, for as long as you’re alive, you have the opportunity to celebrate these. Don’t stress yourself much if some haven’t happened yet. Just take this time to believe that eventually, everything will fall into place when you’re ready. Trust the timing of your life so that you don’t become anxious about anything unnecessary.
1.) Your birthday
Please, remember this: you are never too old to celebrate your birthday. You deserve to acknowledge your own existence. Each birthday of yours is reminding you of an important lesson: you matter. You were given a chance to live in this world, to take up space and reach up to whatever age you’re meant to. So never let anything or anyone stop you from living a full life. Aging is a beautiful experience. It reminds you of how far you’ve gone.
2.) Your first love
Love is such a wonderful feeling right? And who doesn’t miss that first time that you felt butterflies in your stomach as your heart beat faster at the sight of your first beloved who made you feel like the only person in this world? Even as you age, your first love never dies. And that teaches you a wonderful lesson: to always hold on to hope and love. That no matter what happens, you will always have beautiful memories that will remind you that once in your life, you felt special and that you allowed yourself to listen to your heart and just love. So when the going gets tough, and during days that you feel less attractive or not worthy, remember that once in your life, those thoughts never existed because you chose to see through the eyes of love. And you can do that all over again by choice.
3.) Your first award
Being recognized for what you do (and who you are) can be life changing. So try to remember the first time someone gave you the recognition you deserved, whether it was a simple compliment, a pat on the back, receiving a certificate or trophy and savor that moment. It’s an amazing reminder that you are good enough. You have what it takes to succeed and those wins, big or small, are a testament of your greatness. When in doubt, remember how you rose above all the challenges you had before and came out on top.
4.) Your first job and salary
Everyone must start off somewhere. And no matter what your first job is, it’s actually serves as a beautiful reminder: that being humble and persistent goes a long way. Still remember how much you were celebrating when you got your first salary? What did you do with it? Notice how it seemed like such a big deal before. Today, if you feel that you’re not earning much or you haven’t achieved enough, look back when you were starting your career and realize how much you’ve grown over all in your practice. Should you be unemployed at this time, remember that you only lost a job perhaps, but the skills to land in one, you still have those intact. So don’t fret. You’re just starting all over again.
5.) Your first born
Unconditional love. That perhaps is the best lesson this celebration of new life is teaching us. That special feeling that you’re willing to give your all to this being which was born from love. That’s such a beautiful reminder as you grow in harmony with the members of your family, through good times and bad times. It’s a lasting promise that you should be willing to keep because remember, at the end of the day, your children will be your legacy. Raise them to be amazing ones with your love.
I hope reminiscing these life celebrations made you smile.
You still have a long way to go to enjoy your life journey as much as you can.
After all, you’re on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
And that’s something to celebrate about every single day.
No pain, no gain.
We grew up hearing this, time and again.
And at times, I must admit, I can’t help but agree with this.
While I wouldn’t mind having a smooth sailing life to begin with, I have embraced the fact that life in general has its own twists and turns.
Most of which are beyond our control.
Which actually makes sense to just let things be and embrace the lessons each and every not so good experience that life may bring instead of getting anxious and stressed.
I know. That won’t be a walk in the park.
However, it’s very much possible.
To see the silver lining in every painful experience we have.
And change for the better as we anchor on all the lessons learned.
Allow me to share with you the 5 painful life experiences that will shape you.
1.) A death of a loved one
This one is inevitable. As much as we want to be with people closes to our hearts, we just can’t. Death is something we cannot predict, more so stop permanently. It’s as natural as the sun rising daily, and as day turns to night. While the intensity of the pain may vary due to the cause or timeliness of the death, each death teaches us an important lesson: how to fully let go and be at peace eventually with the decision. It may take time and a whole lot of effort, however, full, genuine acceptance of things, people and situations which are no longer there are crucial for us to move on and forward when life throws a curve ball. It also teaches us the important lessons of valuing relationships and making the most of each and every moment, as we can’t really say when it’s our time to go (or let go of someone). Treat every single day as if it was your last. Very good reminder indeed.
2.) A major break up
Ouch. I feel you. Haha! I know, this can wreck havoc in one’s emotional state especially if you have always believed that you will end up with the person who broke your heart. Well take note of this: it doesn’t mean that if someone broke your heart, you won’t have your happily ever after someday. Because trust me, you will. And that’s the important lesson a break up teaches you: that you have to be patient enough to get what you truly deserve. That you need to love yourself first so that others will love you just as much. And when you’re able and ready, the right one for you will come eventually. You just have to be the love that you want to receive.
3.) A significant failure
I know it can be so frustrating when you work so hard on something and not get the desired results. Whether it’s a wasted opportunity, a competition lost, a business that went bankrupt … they all are teaching us the same thing : that we can always do better. Knowing that there’s room for improvement should inspire us to continue journeying towards our best . Remember, it doesn’t end when you lose ; it only begins when you embrace the new lessons learned and apply them there after.
4.) A betrayal
Experiencing something that’s totally unexpected like a betrayal can hurt big time. More so if it comes from a person that’s close to your heart. One can’t help but feel immense hurt, anger and pain when trust is broken. But trust me, that had to happen in order for you to learn very significant lessons in self-worth and discernment. Betrayals teach you to become more mindful about the relationships you keep and the people you allow in your space. It teaches you about what you deserve and how to value yourself more. And those lessons will go a long way as you meet various people in your life time. It pays to know.
5.) Outgrowing people, things and situations
There will come a time that certain relationships with people, things and circumstances will no longer spark the same joy or ignite further inspiration. That can be such a heart breaking experience to realize that something familiar is slowly fading to oblivion. Whether it’s a childhood friend, a place you grew up with or something you owned, letting go can be so difficult. However, it’s a must because it teaches you that life goes on. Not everyone or everything must play a part in your next chapter. It’s ok if it ends there. It already served its purpose. Be grateful that it happened. Then bravely turn the next page as you welcome new people and experiences in your space. You’ll be fine.
I hope that by reading through these you got to evaluate and appreciate your pains more.
Truth be told, each pain serves a beautiful purpose.
“We can’t do the Lasik procedure on your eyes. You have cataract in each.”
My mouth wide open, my heart fell down the floor.
It can’t be.
Yep, that was my very response when the doctor first told me that I had cataracts in my eyes.
Of course I was in extreme disbelief because 1.) I wasn’t that old yet (young at 41) and 2.) that means I have to be operated on, much like how my mom and favorite aunt had theirs removed last year. And 3.) that means that I will have to put my life on hold for quite sometime in order for me to heal.
Come to think of it: that was actually my fear: to “stop living”. For the longest time, I have gotten used to my work routine and it just feels weird and scary for me to just be at home, doing nothing. While I have always been an advocate of over-all wellness, self-care and self-love, I must admit though that hard stops are sometimes difficult for me because I know that a lot of people depend on me to help them in their own personal journeys in discovering their own #bestmeever .
But hey, I can choose to resist or just accept my situation whole heartedly and happily while looking for that seemingly elusive silverlining at present. I chose to go hunting for the good stuff. Haha!
So immediately after returning from my birthday trip in Singapore, I had my blood work done, got my doctor’s clearance and then scheduled my operation. Mind you though: everything happened within a week’s time after returning. Yep that fast. So on my end, I also had to fix my schedule, do a general cleaning of my space so that everything will be disinfected and talk to my clients and tell them that I will be gone for a whole two weeks. I also had to rush the templates for my morning postings in my coaching community on Facebook so that people can still continue reflecting daily even in my absence.
After setting everything up and making sure that I have covered all bases, I was finally ready to undergo my surgery.
“I am quite surprised that you are still able to function with your eyes, given this.”
And then the doctor showed me how big my cataract was.
See that gray part blocking the entire eye? That’s the culprit. I know! I got scared too upon seeing it.
A part of me felt relieved that it was detected because for more than a decade, I have been using driving glasses and contact lenses whenever I go on-air or deliver live talks. It never struck me that I had something like that until recently when my night vision deteriorated fully and I can’t even drive and focus well when the sun is up. Everything was blurry and grayish…uhm, and now I know why,
The promise of being able to see clearly minus the glasses made me excitedly put on my hospital gown. I would have wanted a better fit, but who am I to complain?
This is how I would look if I get pregnant. Lol.
Upon entering the operating, I remember praying to God to at least allow me to surrender to the entire process and just trust everything. Believe me, when you’re going under the knife and it involves your eyes and you are not sedated, it’s not really a walk in the park experience seeing what gets to poke your eyes. Haha!
The operation was a success, albeit some of the moments the doctor had to stop because I was tensing up. Apparently, I was as calm as can be when my left eye was operated on first and then the week after, I had my right eye done. And that became a different story. Thank God for Dr. Gerard Bordador of Veterans Eye Center for being so patient, careful and understanding of his wriggly patient who gets startled whenever something is poked in his eyes. Haha!
Mind you though, it was just the beginning. The real work comes in when I have to apply eye drops hourly and take my antibiotics daily. These also coincide with the fact that: 1.) I couldn’t wash my face for two weeks to avoid soap getting in my eyes 2.) I can’t lift heavy objects, more so work out as intensely as I used to for a month 3.) Can’t bend down, moreso do inversions so I have to say good bye temporarily to my aerial silks practice 4.) Can’t drive or spend long hours straining my eyes online until it heals 5.) I have to wear my transition glasses for a month or so to ensure my eyes are protected, indoor and outdoor.
The last one was a relief because I didn’t like the way the goggles looked on me. Lol.
My constant, up to now as I blog.
Anyway, the million dollar question is: does it hurt?
Answer: during the operation, it was a bit uncomfortable but didn’t sting really. I mean, I doubt it if anyone enjoys getting his eyes poked while staring at a kaleidoscope of lights haha. Afterwards, that’s when eye drops hurt at times (remember there’s a wound in the eyes and it’s still not fully healed), which led me to shed tears and hop a round a bit. Haha! I also got a head ache after my right eye got operated on but it was easily gone after I took paracetamol. The other discomforts to which I am still gradually adjusting to now is being able to read text upclose as some letters seemed garbled at times but I was told that it will eventually be ok, of which I truly believe because I myself have less typo errors now, unlike during the first few days, that’s why I decided to blog only now before starting on my regular coaching sessions.
My views and my life definitely changed.
For the better.
Come to think of it, I realized I really needed this mandatory time of. Unknown to many, I recently experienced a heart break that left me feeling a bit lost, confused, and in pain. That’s a different story though. I was quietly navigating through my emotions then with the help of my own coach and my loving, selected few who were my support system. The hard stop allowed me to process everything better and treat myself kinder, because apparently, for quite sometime, I wasn’t really giving myself the kind of love I willingly give others. I just forgot and this pause made me remember.
The change in my daily routine really helped. While I struggled at first to contain all my unused energy, I found a blissful experience in just letting things be, journaling and reflecting about what I can do differently in my life. I took the opportunity to see things differently and clearly this time around, inspired by my cataract operation. I began assessing my space, my relationships and myself, as honestly and as vulnerable as possible. And that allowed me to grow with the flow in my current space where fear of not being in control no longer existed.
Here’s a glimpse of what I was doing in the last two weeks:
I started doing short morning walks. Here’s me doing one at 6am around the amenities area of my condo. Started with 10 minuter walks, gradually increasing to an hour as days go by, while being mindful of not letting my sweat get in my eyes. Or else. Running can wait.
I have recently discovered the joys in doing stretching in the morning. As I can only do light exercise and I am not allowed to bend over or invert, this routine helped me loosen my tight muscles and prevents me from having a sedentary lifestyle while stuck at home. My yoga mat has become one of my best friends.
I’ve said it before and will say it again: Netflix is one of the greatest inventions of the century. I can’t imagine surviving the last two weeks without it. I got to watch a lot of documentaries and reality tv series this time around and learned a thing or two that would like to include in my own bucketlist. Soon.
I got myself new transition glasses, without any grades for my eyes! My first time in over 10 years to own a pair of shades! can’t wait to head to the beach soon. But for now, I use it when I go online or when I have to do my grocery. And I can see 10x better or even more actually compared to before, minus the thick graded lenses! Wohoo!
Brave as I am, I started going out (to the mall) to do errands by myself and burn calories while doing so (indoor walks where there is less pollution and exposure to unwanted elements). Trivia: Gosh, I was like a kid gushing at how bright the mall lights were and how I can now read signages from afar. Never seen everything in full color until now. Simple joys but my heart overflowed after seeing so much gray before.
While it was tempting to just eat every now and then with the free time I have onhand, I chose to still be mindful of my diet. I stuck with my intermittent fasting, ate more veggies (something I learned from a previous relationship that allowed me to love myself more) and committed to my daily cardio routine. And lo and behold, I managed to shed off more pounds in the process, to date, after almost three months, 14 lbs to be exact. My target is to lose perhaps another 5 more lbs and I will have my 2018 body then where I was at my fittest. Pushing forward! Grateful that heart breaks have beautifying effects on me. Haha!
The time off allowed me to reconnect with my roots as well. After 10 years, went back to visit my province in Pampanga. Everyone there was caught by surprise and some even cried. It was a heart warming experience to see my relatives whom I haven’t seen for the longest time. Time heals all wounds indeed. And this season in my life allowed me to experience just that. This one’s for the books.
And of course, God wanted to cheer me up and sent me good news. So I got nominated in the 2022 Coach Awards for Best Executive Coach and Best Wellness Coach . Two categories. Alongside coaching industry leaders and game changers from all over the world. My heart jumped for joy, especially upon seeing people vote for me and campaign for me openly. Win or lose, I am grateful for this opportunity to be recognized for what I love doing best. Please do click on the highlighted links to vote please. Love you!
Lastly, I finally got to hang out with dear friends. Gosh, how much I missed human interaction with people who truly get me and vise versa! This lunch was fun and life changing in its own way as always. They said I was rocking my glasses. And that my new body was banging. Thank you for the vote of confidence my friends. I gratefully receive your compliments.
Went to my check up the other day and this is how my eye looks like. All clear now. Healing beautifully.
Exactly how I feel within.
Healing happily. Completely.
My cataract operation allowed me to see things clearly and feel deeply.
And today, I start my next chapter, #unicorning all over .
Thank you for joining me.
Sigh.
That’s perhaps the only thing we can do whenever things don’t go as planned.
I mean, I know one way or another you can relate to any or all of these:
….ever set a goal worked so hard on it, which led you to be just one step away from achieving it e.g. a promotion at work, a financial target, winning a competition etc,…but then suddenly the biggest plot twist occurs and your journey suddenly gets cut short?
….did you ever find yourself in a near-perfect relationship with your seemingly ideal guy and then without warning you find your fairy tale love story ending abruptly?
…planned your dream vacation and then suddenly it got cancelled because of unforeseen events beyond your control?
I can actually go on and on with this list but heym you already know what I am talking about.
Yup, it’s a fact: things don’t always work out the way we want them to.
Reason being is that we focus too much on what went wrong instead of seeing the beautiful silverlinings behind seemingly tragic ends.
Allow me to share with you the 5 reasons why things don’t work out initially.
1.) You are being saved from greater pain or danger
Yes. God (or the Universe) might have just saved your ass from something more severe hidden under your story’s plot. Ever heard of the people who got stuck in traffic on their way to work at the World Trade Center during the 9/11 bombing? Or the guy who missed the fatal flight to Kenya? Yep, you probably know a lot of those kind of stories. And yes, they’re real.
2.) You are given the chance to improve yourself even more
Not yet does not mean never. So how amazing is it to know that there’s still room for improvement and you’re given yet another chance to maximize it? It’s no secret that Pia Wurtzbach joined the National Pageant thrice, each time becoming better, before she won and got to represent the country in the 2015 Miss Universe, where she bagged the crown. What if you’re a Pia in the making? I know that made you smile. Allow.
3.) It’s allowing you to focus on yourself and recalibrate
Have you been so gung-ho when it comes to chasing your goals? Feeling tired, pressured and burned out? Things not working out in your favor allow you to step back, pause and re assess the space you’re in as you take that much needed break from it all. That’s actually the healthy (and humbling ) way to go about things: allow yourself to rest as you let the dust settle so you can clearly define what’s next for you. Yup, there’s life after chaos of whatever kind. You’ll survive and thrive.
4.) You learn important lessons you need
Good or bad, experiences help you grow by allowing you to learn important lessons you need in life. Ask yourself this each time things don’t go as planned: what is this situation teaching me? How can I apply the learning to my current space? You will be surprised on how smooth your life can be there after only if you take the lessons to heart.
5.) You deserve something (or someone) better
God knows better. Period. Someday you will meet that one person who will make you realize why you had to undergo so many heart aches and why all was worth it. Someday, you will look back and smile about lost opportunities and relationships that led you exactly to where you’re meant to be: happier and free. You just have to trust the process, do all that you can with all that you have, and know and believe that the best is yet to come. Soon!
So guys, if times are rough now, remember this:
Tough times are temporary.
All will be well eventually.
You just have to look beyond the challenging situations and realize that all will work out eventually.
Your journey is just beginning.
Now take a deep breath.
Because life goes on.
So can you.
Pain is inevitable.
Suffering is optional.
There is so much truth in this popular saying.
I mean, things won’t always go as planned and there will always be days which are less rosey than others.
More often than not, we fail to see the real value of the emotional pain that we are experiencing on hand as we just perceive it as one big problem.
Something that’s meant to destroy our plans and make us miserable.
However, we tend to forget that our pain is actually teaching us valuable lessons that we need in order for us to become our own #bestmeever .
And until we realize the 5 things that actually make our emotional pain worse, we will continue to suffer unknowingly due to our own choices.
Allow me to share them with you now so that you can try to avoid them at all costs:
1.) Resisting your pain
I know and totally understand this. I mean no one wants to feel pain right? I mean, guilt, shame, sadness, anger, regrets and many others can wreck havoc on one’s self. Mind you though that the only way you can deal with those is to actually allow them to come to surface and feel them. Because you can never process and understand them if you keep denying yourself of the opportunity to come face to face with them. Remember, you can only resolve what you acknowledge, your emotional pain included.
2.) You try to control everything about your pain
There will always be things beyond our control. It only adds up to the stress that you’re already feeling when you try to manipulate the entire situation and your own emotions just to lessen the pain. However, you cannot fake what you cannot control so don’t even go there. Try surrendering your worries and concerns instead, this can do wonders for you now as you navigate through your pain.
3.) You overthink about your pain
It’s there. face it as is. Stop thinking about a hundred and one non-existent narratives. Stop focusing on all those that could have been and focus on what is here and now. Don’t distract yourself with negative thoughts that won’t do your pain any good. You don’t need the added unnecessary anxiety brought about by overthinking..
4.) You see your pain as a dead end
Your pain, whatever it may be, is not your final destination. It’s merely a pitstop to prepare you for an even greater journey ahead. Stop focusing on how hopeless the situation may be at present and instead start thinking about your desired outcomes oncee you have accepted the space you’re in. YOu can always do something about your pain as you learn to grow in harmony with it. While it may not totally go away in the future, you don’t have to burden yourself with so much suffering by thinking that your life ended with your current pain. No honey, with or without pain, your life goes on. And so can you.
5.) You let your pain define you
You are not what you feel or what you’ve been through. So stop being unfair to yourself. Separate your emotions from the person that you are. You can be in pain and still be that amazing person for someone, somewhere out there. Never forget that you matter and that you will always be more than whatever pain broke you initially. Because you needed that so that the old version of yourself, with the new lessons learned from your painful experience, will finally peel off and reveal a better version of you. It’s part of the process.
I hope these can help you in managing your emotional pain better.
Remember, it’s only temporary.
It will pass.
And you will heal.
Someday. Somehow.
Until then, hold on.
And learn and grow from the experience
There will always be days which are less than perfect.
And that’s perfectly normal.
Once in a while, life throws you a curve ball, totally unexpected, leaving you struggling and confused as you try to control the situation on hand.
That’s part of human nature actually: wanting to be in control at all times, thinking that things should happen always the way we want them to.
But is that really the case?
Too much resistance at times can lead us to become frustrated when things don’t turn out to be in our favor, making us doubt ourselves.
We then begin to question our skills, our worthiness, and everything around us that causes our self-confidence to slide down dangerously.
When this happens, we end up feeling not good enough. And trust me, that isn’t exactly a nice space to be in.
You may ask: how can you feel good inside when everything else around you seems to be in total chaos and you’re against all odds?
That’s exactly the point: you are allowing the state of the things around you, become you. You are not what happens to you.
When situations seem unfavorable or people are treating you less than you deserve, when you focus on them, you amplify their impact on you.
What is key here is to recognize your need to become self-empowered so that you get to resolve that feeling of not being good enough.
Here are 5 things you can do when you feel that you’re not good enough:
1.) Remember that you have your own journey
Whenever you compare yourself with others or even your previous self (if you were doing good before), you rob yourself of the opportunity to grow in harmony with the now. You’re being unfair to yourself that way. Instead, what you can do is acknowledge your current progress. While it may not be perfect now, celebrate the fact that you’ve made it this far and most probably you’re still in time (and doing good) based on your own timelines and standards. Give yourself enough room to make mistakes and learn from them — that’s not exactly a bad thing, you know. Go and grow at your own pace, in your own space.
2.) Remember what you’re good at
Whatever that’s not working right now in your life, know that it’s only one aspect, not the whole so don’t ever let your results define you fully. Consider your journey and how far you’ve grown. Ask yourself this: what other things am I good at that can help me in my current space? Maybe it’s a matter of changing approach or simply changing your focus in the meantime until you feel fully inspired again. Creative? Think of news ways to approach it. A good writer? Write an inspiring story about your set back. A speaker? Talk about it. You can always make the most of what happens to you for a s long as you don’t let it define you.
3.) Consider it as a learning experience
Humbling, yet so empowering to know that there’s still room for growth. Embrace that beautiful lesson; it’s part of you as you become your own #bestmeever . Reflect on what you can improve on and who can help you in the process. Feeling not good enough is actually the push you need to step out of your comfort zone and commit to becoming your best. Don’t let any negative emotion pull you down.
4.) Take a time off to celebrate yourself
You don’t need to face everything all at once. Take a step back. Relax and ground yourself. It’s not the end of the world, my dear. You may not feel that you’re good enough in a particular space or for a particular person, but hey if you think long and hard about it, time and again, you have proven that otherwise. Try to write down the number of times you’ve succeeded in other matters. List down the number of people who have shown you love and inspiration. Note all the times you have felt proud of yourself. All those are beautiful justifications for you to move on and forward. Note to self: You’ve just encountered a hurdle. You’re not stuck in a rut. Because you’ve risen above that challenge before. Time and again.
5.) Make a difference in someone else’s life
You can always choose to lend a helping hand to those who have far less than you and have probably had things harder for them in general. Give yourself the same compassion you willingly give these people, You may feel small and insignificant now, but when you see the smiles on the faces of those you intentionally helped, that will change you. To feel different about yourself, allow yourself to make a difference in the lives of others. Because even in the smallest, simplest ways, like doing a favor or smiling or asking how they are — those can be life changing for them…and you as well. Because you matter too.
At this point, after having said all these, I just want you to remember this:
You will always be more than enough,
And that’s something good to hold on to, always.
Fact: You can’t know everything all at once.
And there will be times when even what you thought you knew well, won’t exactly be the case.
That’s the irony of it all.
And when this happens, we feel very helpless since we are used to always being in control, ensuring things happen as planned.
We end up feeling stressed, unhappy and unmotivated simply because we thought we had everything all figured out.
Let me remind you this harsh truth: we don’t.
In fact there are alot of things that we are probably clueless about yet we try so hard to make sense of everything:
We don’t know what others are going through, sometimes, ourselves included, yet we oftentimes judge them (and ourselves based on what we see and what we feel alone, and not based on what’s truly within anchored on facts.
We don’t know what the future has in store for us, yet we anxiously anticipate it and try to control it as much as we can.
We don’t know when our healing will happen, yet we assume that it will take forever and it’s ok to just wallow in our own misery and drive people away with our pain.
We don’t know how much time we have left yet we act as if tomorrow’s guaranteed and we can still put off relationships, goals, starting over among others.
We don’t know what we truly deserve because we refused to take risks because we fear of getting hurt, not realizing that we are hurting ourselves and others more in the process of holding back and not being true to ourselves.
We don’t know that we matter so much to other people outside of those who have taken us for granted that we forget as we dwell on what’s lost rather than what we can gain from exploring and being with others who make us feel valued.
We don’t know that somewhere out there, someone looks up to us despite us feeling so discontented and unhappy at times in our current space, thinking that we lack so much. and we let that define us.
We don’t know what love truly is because we base it on our previous experiences and associate it with a lot of what could have beens rather than focusing on what (and who) is here and now and what can still be when we give it a chance, despite its being unexpected and unconventional. We know a lot of excuses and we try to justify them left and right, not knowing that having all those will only leave us hurting and wondering more in the long run.
We don’t know…that we don’t know the answers to all these.
And we will never know if we don’t make that choice.
To see things differently and let ourselves be.
We will know if we listen not to our ego and not focus on our pains.
We will know once we step out of our comfort zone and be comfortable with just knowing and being.
We will know if and when we decide to take the risk coming from a space of love and purpose as we breakdown walls of pains and doubts.
We will know once we have accepted what we don’t know.
And that’s a very humbling, yet empowering experience.
Because that’s part of becoming our own #bestmeever .
I trust that by now, you know better.
As we age, whether we like it or not, we tend to become more and more forgetful.
That’s simply a fact of life.
We constantly evolve as life happens.
We try to adapt, to endure, to do and be our best as we try to keep up with the never ending cycle of ups and downs.
In the process, at times we feel overwhelmed by everything that’s happening around us and within us.
When this happens, we tend to forget how amazing our current space it as we focus on what went wrong or what didn’t go as planned, making us want to escape from the now as we seek validation and re-assurance somewhere else.
But ask yourself this: do you really have to?
Maybe not.
Maybe it’s really not about escaping,
Maybe it’s just about remembering what needs to be our anchor as we go through life, one day at a time.
Allow me to share with you the 5 things you should never forget no matter what happens:
You’re not alone
It may seem lonely at times especially if you’re coming from a break up or when you lose a friend or loved one. Never forget though that there are people around you who will be willing to help you heal and move on and forward from whatever broke you. You just have to reach out and allow others to help you unburden yourself as you let go of your pains and what could have been. Never just keep things to yourself, because yeah, you really don’t have to. You are supported and loved.
2. You have a choice
Whether to say yes or no. To stay or go. To be whatever you want to be. It all lies in your commitment to yourself and the choices you have to make in order for you to become your own #bestmeever .Nothing can stop you if you truly believe in yourself and your own purpose, regardless of what others may have to say or do about it. Never forget your power of choice because that will allow you to push through.
3. Your time will come
Not now does not mean never. You just have to be patient with yourself and your journey. Never forget that everything that’s happening to you now is just preparing you for what you truly want and deserve. Hang on. Keep the faith. Everything will fall into place once you’re truly ready.
4. You’re just as important as everyone else
Never treat yourself as less deserving. Never forget your own value, your own worth. Keep it intact always. Because at the end of the day, you matter. A lot. So don’t let anyone, or anything make you feel otherwise.
5. You are whole
As you are, despite what you’ve been through or whatever else you’re going through as of the moment, never forget that you’re whole and complete. Everything and everyone else that comes into your life is just a bonus, not a missing piece.
May you never forget all these so that you get to live and enjoy a life that’s worth remembering.
