Be your own greatest fan.
That’s not being narcissistic. That’s self-love.
Please. Don’t ever limit yourself when it comes to giving yourself what is due:
Unconditional love. Understanding. Compassion. Kindness. Appreciation.
The question is: when was the last time you did just that?
Ok, if it’s been a while, know that you aren’t exactly alone.
You see sometimes, when life gets hard, we forget how important it is to give ourselves the kind of consideration and love we willingly give to others who matter to us.
However, know that no matter what you’ve been through or going through at the moment, those really don’t determine your worthiness or define your value.
You know what’s best for you…so give yourself just that.
This line encapsulates it fully:
It’s ok to consider your own needs and wants too.
Because you matter just as much as everyone else.
Given that, it’s very important to stop treating yourself unfairly so that you get to grow in harmony with your own #bestmeever .
Heres the thing: you weren’t born to just to baby sit for everyone else around. You weren’t born just to work your ass off to pay the bills. You deserve to have time for yourself and spend it no matter how you want to, guilt-free. You don’t need to explain to others why you took that long vacation or when you decided to spend the weekend reading books in your bedroom. You have the right. And you deserve it.
2. Minimizing your own progress
Give credit to where it is due — to yourself, included. Reflect quickly: when was the last time you honored your progress? Don’t ever attach your happiness and fulfillment to the achievement of your end goal. You don’t have to postpone your appreciation for yourself until then. You can do it here and now, simply because if you looked back, you would realize how far you’ve gone. Remember: choosing to start a new journey is an achievement by itself. Continue celebrating yourself to stay inspired along the way.
3. Choosing to always play it safe
You’ve heard it time and again: growth is outside your comfort zone. That essentially means that you should be willing to take risks in order for you to be the person that you want to be. Holding back won’t get you anywhere in this life time. Give yourself that fighting chance to go for what you truly want: whether it’s all about starting a new career, learning a new skill in a new environment or speaking up and allowing yourself to take up space as you are. It may be really uncomfortable at first but the rewards are life changing.
4. Settling in unhappy, stagnant relationships
Life is too short to stay in any relationship that does not help you grow or make you happy. If you find yourself trying to justify the toxic relationship you have just because you’ve been in it for a long time, then this is your sign to reflect and realize that by staying, you aren’t exactly changing it. You could have done that a long time ago, but haven’t. There I said it. Maybe now it’s time for you to be honest with yourself and give yourself what you deserve: the chance to communicate openly with the person you’re in a relationship with and discuss how both of you would want to move forward, based on what will work best for your relationship and yourselves too. Sweeping issues under the rug don’t necessarily resolve them, you know.
5. Invalidating your emotions
Don’t be scared to be honest about how you feel. It’s the only way you can process them fully. Do away with shame or self-judgment. You deserve to let yourself be and feel what must be felt so that you can discover the lessons each one is telling you. Know that every emotion, good or bad, helps you understand yourself on a deeper level, only if you let them unfold fully without any form of resistance. It’s ok to feel the way you do. How you deal with it moving forward given that, matters more.
Let me leave you with this thought for reflection:
Treating yourself fairly is never optional nor dependent on any other person, timing or situation.
It’s a personal choice to be made consistently and genuinely, every single day. every single way.
Hope you commit to making that choice for yourself whole heartedly.
Fact: You always choose to prioritize what truly matters to you.
Also a fact: sometimes we get distracted and we totally mess up our priorities.
I know, the irony of it all.
Don’t be disheartened though. You are not alone to begin with.
Admittedly, even I struggled with my priorities initially when things got more challenging than usual.
However, as I aged and gained more and more experience, I realized that choosing what to prioritize became easier.
Maybe because through the years, I have learned to recognize and accept what really are in alignment with my core values and those which are not.
That totally made the process of elimination way easier.
However, I am not telling you to hold off setting your priorities until you reach my age (I just turned 44 last August 12).
I am telling you that by choice, you can see beyond the distractions and focus on what truly matters most in the long run.
Take this time to quickly reflect:
What overwhelms you at the moment?
What is making you focus on them?
What do you think can you do otherwise to resolve them instead?
By recognizing and understanding what distracts you, you are able to deal with them better and allow you to navigate through your own journey with the greatest of ease minus the excess baggage.
Allow me to share with you the 5 things I have chosen to prioritize upon decluttering my thoughts and my space, something which you can do now as well in yours.
Here’s the thing: nothing else will matter and nothing can prosper if you don’t take care of yourself. You are just as important as everyone else around you. Never put your own needs and wants last. Always take time to practice self-care, no matter how busy or challenging life gets. It won’t take much to have a break, pamper yourself, go for a walk or do what you love in between your hectic schedules. Don’t ever feel guilty for giving yourself what is due: that is the love and care you willingly give to others along the way.
Life is too short to spend it unhappily doing things you don’t like, being with people who don’t inspire you to be your best or staying in a place or situation which does not spark joy or growth. You don’t have to ask for anyone else’s approval before you finally choose to go for what truly makes your heart skip a beat. For as long as you are willing and able to take responsibility for yourself and your happiness, by all means give it a go. You are worthy of that smile on your face and in your heart.
3. Self-Improvement
You are never too young or too old to learn a new skill, work on yourself and be the person you’re meant to be. Stop giving yourself excuses and start giving yourself new found inspiration to take that first step to upskill or get to know yourself on a deeper level. Unlocking your potential was never based on a singular time frame. All you have to do is make that choice now, and fully commit to it no matter what.
4. Nurturing quality relationships
I always say: it’s ok to outgrow people and relationships. Not everyone has to play a part in your next chapter. Not because you’re evil or they’ve turned bad, but simply because you no longer on the same page. Some people are not meant to stay in your life in the long run and that’s ok. What matters is you learn from them the valuable lessons you need moving forward. This was one of my key reflections during my two-week birthday hiatus: I truly feel grateful with who I have left in my space as the ones who left have made room for new people of true value to occupy. Everything happens for a reason so it’s very important to surround yourself with the right people.
5. Savings For The Future
I know at times we tend to live in the moment and spend like there’s tomorrow. However, please take note that it’s never too early or too late to actually prepare for your future too. Go get that insurance fund, open that savings account, buy properties that appreciate in value, invest wisely…do what you must so that you grow your earnings even through the rainy days. It’s not about fully depriving yourself along the way; it’s about proper allocation and understanding of the real value of saving for the kind of future you want for yourself and your loved ones.
I guess my birthday leave did do wonders for me as I got to sit down and blog about my realizations in terms of my priorities.
Hopefully this blog helps you to manage yours, way before your next birthday comes along.
Yup, your time is now.
Here’s the thing: you can’t really succeed in life without integrity.
There, I said it.
The truth will always come out.
And who you are behind close doors also matters a lot.
The question is: what kind of person are you when no one is watching?
Take this time to reflect: how do you uphold your values?
What do you do when the going gets tough?
How do you manage to stick to what is right?
These are just some of the reflections to think about as you truly embrace what it really means to choose integrity over personal interests.
And admittedly, it’s quite difficult at times.
I mean, who doesn’t want the easy way out?
However, please take to heart: easy doesn’t always mean it’s right.
So know that even if you struggle as you keep your values intact and do what is right and just, know that in the end, it’ll all be worth it.
Because having integrity not only makes you feel good about yourself, it can also open bigger doors for you in the long run as you walk the talk, no matter what.
I know. Change is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean you have to change directions daily. You can’t just be everything that everyone wants you to be. And that’s perfectly fine. What is key here is to always be consistent on how you show up every single day. What do you stand for? What’s your key message to the world? How do you want the rest of the world to experience and remember you? Always have that clear picture in mind of what you truly are and never let yourself be distracted by all the noise around you. Keep going even when times seem harder than usual. That’s when you grow more.
2. Inability to keep promises
You are as good as your word. Don’t ever make promises that you can’t keep. A lot of relationships, whether externally or the one you have with yourself, have gone sour just because commitments were not honored accordingly. Remember: with every promise that you make, your integrity and reputation are at stake. And once tainted, it’s much harder to rebuild. So never compromise.
3. Bad mouthing your competition
Security is an important factor when it comes to integrity. When you know yourself inside and out and are happily confident about what you are and what you’re not, you don’t need to put others down just to lift yourself up. Instead, you treat your competition as inspiration, learning from them along the way as you share spaces comfortably. There is something for everyone for as long as we all choose to do what is right even when not under the spotlight.
4. No clear stand on issues
Never run away from what you truly believe in. Take a stand. Speak up. Your bravery can inspire others when hard times overwhelm them. Come from your core values: what truly matters to you? What can you do to uphold them, as you consciously practice respect too? Don’t let your fear of being judged or cancelled stop you from being the person of integrity that you are.
5. Choosing to surround yourself with the wrong people
You have a choice on who to share spaces with. Be very mindful of this. Remember, you become the 5 people you frequently interact with. So make sure you don’t compromise your integrity by hanging out with people who are not in alignment with your core values, aspirations and goals. It doesn’t make you a bad person for choosing what (and who is) best for you. Like I always say: if it doesn’t inspire you or help you grow, let go. Applies to things, situations and people in this lifetime.
I hope now you have a clearer picture of how you can maintain your own integrity during trying times.
Because a person of integrity is considered a rare, priceless find.
Be that.
Always. In all ways.
Redirection, not rejection.
How many times have you heard that?
But it’s quite true.
Good or bad, everything has a purpose.
And that includes situations which at a glance, seem like failure, a mistake, missed opportunity or something very regretful.
However, in the long run, that fateful curve ball proved to be a blessing in disguise.
Take this time to reflect:
When was the last time you got rejected?
How did things turn out eventually?
I know. At the onset of any rejection, pain is inevitable.
However, once we get to embrace it and intentionally try to understand the purpose behind it, we begin to discover silver linings we never thought initially existed.
And yes, you can always start all over again, this time not from scratch but from rich, meaningful experience.
Know that in this lifetime, you will experience a number of rejections that will actually re-direct you towards the right path as you become the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
Here are 5 times rejection can turn to redirection:
I am sure that when you were younger, a lot of times you have heard your mom and dad say “NO” so sternly when you were asking for something, may it be a toy, a sleep over at a friend’s house or an increase on your allowance. And back then, it felt that it was coming from a space of being too mean and unreasonable and that it was meant to punish you for things you don’t even know you whether you were guilty of or not. But here’s the tea: it wasn’t all those you assumed. Their “NO”s back then were meant to protect you and teach you the value of what truly matters most as you grow up: taking responsibility, making the most of what you have while working hard for what you want. I began to realize all those as I aged and help raise my nephews and nieces. However, what I am doing differently now is that I talk to them in a level they could understand and not use my age or the tone of my voice as the source of my authority. Remember: a NO coming from a loving space will always be embraced fully with the least or no resistance.
2. When you didn’t fit in during your time in school
During our younger years, we tend to prioritize belongingness over our own self-worth and happiness. I mean seriously, how many times have you tried fitting in back then that led you to compromise your own beliefs and values? However, as we grow older, we realize that being rejected then, just because maybe you were seen to be different, or you had different sets of views and opinions, did not make you less deserving to take up space as you are. Looking at it now, being able to uphold your own amidst a sea of people who just conform to fit in is an achievement by itself. It was teaching you about your own value and how you can inspire others to embrace themselves whole and love themselves fully, no matter how others may respond to them. Belongingness starts from within. It’s all about being one with yourself, no matter what.
3. When your heart got broken by someone
I always believe that somewhere out there, someone is more than willing to love you the way you want him/her to. You don’t need to force yourself on anyone or shrink yourself to fit the limitations of your current relationship just to make it work. Don’t let one heart break stop you from finding (and being) the love you deserve. You will always end up with someone better after learning how you can love yourself more from your last heart break. Yep, it’s leading you to your biggest breakthrough yet.
4. When you did not get accepted for a job you applied for
There will always be a point in our lives where in we set our sights too much on that single job that we thought will change our career trajectory completely only to end up disappointed by not landing on it. However, we forget the important lessons the rejection is teaching us: that there is still room for improvement, that there’s something better in store for us and that we need to be willing enough and humble enough to work on ourselves as we pivot. And those very lessons, once embraced fully, will take us to places we never imagined. Remember: you may not have gotten the job you initially wanted, but that never means you’re not qualified to end up where you truly deserve. Trust the process. Take it from someone who has experienced so many rejections before finding and living my life’s purpose daily. And it was one hell of a ride, but definitely worth it. At times I just find myself uttering “Oh, that’s why…” and can’t help but smile in the process.
5. When you said “NO” to yourself
You know what’s best for you. So if you’re coming from that space, for as long as you’re willing to take responsibility, saying “NO” to yourself becomes an empowering experience instead. Most especially during times you are tempted to compromise your values and wellbeing, being firm with your decision may feel too harsh at first since you’re doing it to yourself. But hey, look at the bigger picture and realize how important having discipline is over temporary convenience or pleasure. You can postpone that travel. You can quit that job. You can stop chasing that person. You know when you’ll be ready. You know when you’re able to forgive. You know your own metrics of success. You know what makes you happy. Never feel the need that you’re depriving yourself by respecting your own timelines and values despite the pressure coming from others. And if people reject you because of that, it’s on them, not you. Because every NO you say coming from a space of self-awareness and love, is a YES towards your own growth.
I always believe that everything that is meant for you will always find its way and flourish no matter what.
Keep that in mind and keep that close to your heart.
Whatever space you’re in now, you’re still on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
Patience is a virtue.
Perhaps one of the most popular quotes in this lifetime.
It does hit hard in a fast-pace environment we have gotten used to through the years.
Ever felt you have so little time on your hands?
Barely enough for you to enjoy life fully, forcing you to rush everything.
However, life was never meant to be lived in a hurry.
Each one of us has a unique journey, a different timeline towards becoming our own #bestmeever.
And we must embrace that whole heartedly.
Only then can we fully appreciate the space we are in.
When we allow ourselves to take up space as we are.
So take this time now to reflect: when was the last time you became impatient over something?
Waiting for important results?
A long-awaited trip?
A much-deserved promotion?
Someone changing for the better?
Whatever has caused you to become highly frustrated over the seemingly long delays , please take note that if you look at those things closely, they are beyond your control. So yeah, no point of stressing over them, simply because doing so won’t even change a thing.
I know that probably knocked some sense to you and hopefully as I share this blog post, the entire experience of reading through it changes you for the better.
You already know that it will take some time for something you truly want to happen. So why constantly stress yourself on focusing how long it will take? Remember, the waiting time does not shorten itself based on how much you stress over it. It gets shorter when you leave it as is and go on with your life, as life does not technically wait for anyone. Don’t waste the chance to grow in harmony with it.
2. Divert your attention towards things (and people) you love
Waiting for the next big thing for you does not mean your life must come to a pause too. Consider this as your much needed time off to focus on the people and things you love most. Spend time with your family. Play with your pets. Pursue that passion project. Remember, you become more patient with things (and people) that make your heart smile and feel good about yourself as you enjoy the moment with them.
3. Anticipate the value of having to patiently wait
Humility. Commitment. Compassion. Hope. Some of the important things you learn along the way. Embracing the waiting game whole heartedly allows you to see the value of being patient with yourself and your own journey. When you see something as a growing experience, you allow yourself to be more patient towards it.
4. Take time to upskill
You only stop growing when you allow yourself to be held back by the circumstances surrounding you. So choose to continuously invest on yourself and your growth, so that instead of stressing over things beyond your control, you get to channel your energy and focus to making yourself better. The waiting game then becomes a springboard for your own breakthroughs and success.
5. Reframe your mindset
Greatness takes time. It will all be worth it. I am learning and growing as I wait. Time is on my side. Trusting myself and the process. Just some of the things you can take to heart as you view your situation differently. Mind you though, you get real results when you actually believe these thoughts fully.
Whatever space you’re in now, I hope after reading this, you become more patient towards yourself and your journey.
Know that you are exactly where you’re meant to be.
And you will always be just in time.
Just be patient.
Time is gold.
Indeed.
So how many of you grew up seeing that quote posted on your class room wall?
Or as a favorite answer back then when asked about one’s favorite saying?
Can’t blame them, guys. It’s indeed a very powerful saying.
So much truth to it.
After all, everything else will be meaningless : your wealth, your health, your accomplishments and all other things you hold close to your heart if you don’t have time to spare to enjoy them.
The question now is: how do you spend yours?
Reflect accordingly: where do you devote much of your time to?
While you’re at it, ask yourself this: where do you think you need to focus on instead?
Tough decision, if I may say, if you’ve already gotten used to doing the same thing over and over again.
But hey: life isn’t supposed to be lived in a routinary manner.
You deserve more.
To enjoy life to the fullest as you become the person you’re meant to be.
Your own #bestmeever .
And the only way to achieve that is to find time for things which really matter in the long run.
Mind you, regular is relative so it’s up to you if you want to do it on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.
Start with what can be comfortable for you then gradually improve on the frequency and quality of your focused moments.
Anyway, here they are:
1.) Time to go offline
Unplug to recharge. This simply means taking a mandatory break from social media. You don’t need to wait for a special occasion like the Holy Week or a life-changing event to make that hard stop. Don ‘t be afraid to miss out on what’s going on in the digital space as you allow yourself to embrace the reality in front of you. Life outside of social media will always be more meaningful and beautiful. Trust me, while I utilize my social media platforms for my coaching practice , I mindfully ensure that I do hard stops at the end of the day as I lay my phone and laptop to rest. That allows me to do my meditations and become 100% present in my current space.
2.) Time for self-care
I have always been a very strong advocate for wellness and wellbeing. So it’s very important for me (and for you dear reader as well) to always find time to take care and pamper yourself. You deserve it. It doesn’t have to be grand always, but hey if you have extra to splurge on, why not? What I am saying is that self-care can be in different forms such as having breaks in between your work schedule, staying away from toxic people or treating yourself to a massage. Remember: it’s your responsibility to make yourself feel a little bit better. On my end, I make sure to reward myself at the end of each and every single day, no matter how it went. And by rewarding I mean whether getting my favorite chocolate or allowing myself to watch an extra episode on Netflix. After all, making it through a day is an achievement by itself.
3.) Time for self-improvement
Question: when was the last time you invested on yourself and your growth? You are the best investment you can ever make so always find time to learn a new skill or get to know yourself on a deeper level. Never be too busy with work that you forget how important it is to fuel your own growth, whether that means embarking on a self-discovery journey with a professional or widening the skill set on your resume. Go for what you think will benefit you in the long run, inside and outside of work. I always put much value on learning continuously so this year, I am planning to go back to graduate school to study once more…after 10 years since I finished my Masters degree in UP Diliman. Excited though for this new adventure.
4.) Time to build and nurture relationships
No man is an island and your relationship with others matter as much as your relationship with yourself. So always find time to be with people you love and make each and every moment meaningful and memorable. Even at your busiest days, find time to at least text or call to remind them that they are thought about despite the craziness of your schedule. Open yourself up to possibilities of building your network also as you meet other people and build new relationships which can be of great value in the long run.
5.) Having your own ME Time
Before anything else, stop judging yourself. Having your own ME Time is never selfish. It’s a must. Never let anything or anyone make you feel otherwise. You, as much as everyone else, deserve to give yourself undivided attention and 100% love. How you want to spend your time for yourself is truly up to you. Whether you choose to meditate, travel, visit a new place, pursue a hobby — do what makes your heart and soul smile happily. I make my evenings as my regular ME Time, where I take off my coaching hat and just let myself be. And I tell you, it’s one of the best ways to rejuvenate at the end of a long day as I cuddle with my fur babies and watch my favorite series on Netflix while chatting with friends and loved ones on the side.
I hope reading this helps you realize what you’ve been missing out on your schedule.
One thing to take to heart today:
If it matters, make quality time for it.
Because you can.
I never thought the lyrics of a song can be so powerful.
That is until I watched this musicale.
You see I was invited to attend the media launch of the musicale “We Aren’t Kids Anymore” by Barefoot Theatre Collaborative (BTC) set to open to the public on May 2, 2025 (that’s actually today guys!) at the Power Mac Center Spotlight Blackbox Theater in Circuit Makati.
I am such a huge fan of inspiring plays, movies and musicales so the pitch that was sent to me that said my platform, #bestmeever across multimedia, was very much in alignment with their production since I speak so often about personal development, mental health and motivational content — I knew I had to go and see it for myself.
And I tell you guys, the pitch was so true.
It hit home.
The moment I arrived at the venue, I knew that an amazing experience awaits. I loved how colorful the backdrop was, which matched my outfit. And no, I had no idea it will be like that. Promise. Haha!
Inside the venue though, it was very different. Very minimalist. But I don’t want to go spoil the fun by giving you guys so much details. Just go visit them yourself and enjoy the entire experience minus any spoilers. You’ll be thanking me eventually.
Going back to the venue set up, the entire minimalist theme actually allowed me to focus more on the music and actors, which I believe was the whole point. Surprisingly, I got to appreciate that more despite the fact that my watch was telling me the sounds were too loud inside at times (maybe I wasn’t used being exposed to such regularly as the sounds inside the TV and Radio studios when I go on-air aren’t that loud or maybe because I was seated in front, very near the stage).
I loved the fact that they casted an amazing group, who managed to tell the whole story about how it is to grow up in this world, in the rawest, most honest way possible. Awesome acting. Amazing vocals. Some of their lines resonated with me a lot and I’d like to share with you some, my take on them and bonus coaching questions for reflection. Disclaimer: not sure if I got them word per word but I think the thought was captured clearly. Did my best. Haha!.
My goodness, this line healed my inner child. Haha! Kidding aside, I lost count of the mistakes I made while growing up, out of fear, wanting to belong and to prove myself to others. However, truth be told, those mistakes allowed me to realize my need for personal boundaries, to work on myself and focus on my own journey and pursue what genuinely makes me feel happy, complete and fulfilled. Yup, all those mistakes I have made through the years have led me to become the 43 year old person that I am today. And looking back, given that now I am able to help others rise above their mistakes and see the silver linings beyond, I am blessed to have made mine as stepping stones to where I am meant to be as I live my purpose. Something to reflect on: what are your mistakes teaching you?
2. “I am not falling for that”
Is it only me or you’ve been just as gullible when you were younger too? I used to believe that I should always follow certain standards which the society and people around me have imposed, only to end up unhappier and doubting myself more in the process. I have said it time and again: there’s no point of comparing yourself with others. We all have different journeys. And that means having different standards and timelines. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. Life was not meant to be hurried or lived in a certain way–it’s meant to be enjoyed fully. So whether you’re struggling, working your way up or thriving at the moment, you’re just in time. Also, gone are the days when what others have to say about me matters. I guess it’s all about knowing my own truth and realizing that their words could never define me. So yeah. Goodbye to gaslighting and trying too hard to meet ridiculous standards. Nope, not falling for those anymore. In your case, reflect: what must you break free from?
3. “I am faking it for you”
Authenticity has always been my strongest suit and I take that to heart with me when I coach, host on-air, give talks or do content. I believe that everyone has the right to take up space as he/she is and there’s no need to fake it. When times seem more challenging than usual, the key here is to face it, not fake it. I hope you keep that in mind because as you are, you are amazing. Be true. Be you. Think about this: What are you faking in your space and how can you address that differently?
4. “Been dependent on luck. Wishing on a four leaf clover”
Destiny. Fate. Written in the stars. Maybe there’s some truth to that. However, don’t discount the fact that you also have some things under your control. So do what you can, with all that you have and all that you are so that you won’t have any regrets in the long run. The rest that’s beyond your control and influence, let go. Your thoughts please: What can you do to have more control in your life now?
5. “Realize that someone is just as scared”
Yup, you are not alone. And whatever you’re feeling now is valid. However, don’t let your fears and overwhelming emotions get the best of you. Know that someone out there takes you as an inspiration so always do your best to rise above the challenges. It’s ok to be scared, but never give in or give up. You deserve to give yourself that fighting chance to shine brighter and become better. As Nike says, just do it. Show up. Something to ponder: What can help you face your fears easier?
Staying up late last night to watch the premiere was definitely a holiday well spent in my book.
Because I learned so much more, now that I am not a kid anymore.
Thank you for having me and the beautiful reminders.
Question: ever felt afraid before?
I think it’s safe to say that one way or another, we have all experienced being fearful.
Take this time to recall yours: what were you scared of before?
Reciting in class?
A terror teacher?
Making mistakes?
Death?
In my case, I used to dread standing in front of a huge crowd because of my fear of being ridiculed and judged while growing up.
I lost count of the number of times I lost my composure and made a fool of myself as I let my fear then get the best of me. Trust me, it took a whole lot of time, effort and commitment to becoming my own #bestmeever to overcome them. Yup, working on myself helped me understand my fears (and myself) better and taught me how to face them bravely.
So if you’re feeling scared right now in your current space, for whatever reason you may have, please know that there’s hope. And yes, you can overcome your own biggest fears by choice.
But first things first: let’s debunk some of your misconceptions about fears so you don’t get overwhelmed in the process:
You will be quite surprised though, but based on experience, the most successful people I have interviewed and worked with had their own set of fears to overcome before they became the person that they are at present. Sounds highly unlikely especially if you see them looking confident and all made up. However, truth be told, it’s normal to feel scared when you are dealing with something unfamiliar or unpleasant. If the fear persists or cripples you big time though, consider seeking professional help so you can navigate through it better.
2. Your fears are all based on facts.
More often than not though, that’s not exactly the case. If you’re feeling fearful and anxious about the future then you are merely operating based on your assumptions. The only way your fears will turn into facts is when you embrace them whole and believed them totally. Know though that you have a choice on not to go that route ever. So now, ask yourself: what assumptions are clouding your judgment? What are your facts on-hand that are under your control? Reflect on these fully so you can clear your space and your thoughts accordingly.
3. Your fears define you.
Your fears don’t define you. Your response towards them, as you take responsibility for yourself and your actions, do. The only way your fears will define you is when you allow them to take over your life as you base your decisions on them: whether it’s all about quitting, letting go or beating yourself up — all of which don’t necessarily help resolve what you need to address in the first place. Reflect: what can I do now to resolve this fear of mine? Big or small, your action plans matter.
4. Your fears are unbeatable.
No fear is all powerful for someone who is very much self-aware and self-secured. It’s all about giving yourself that fighting chance to face your fears head on, knowing that you have what it takes to do so. Try to recall similar situations where in you felt scared and yet you overcame them. Use whatever learnings you had then to deliver your desired results moving forward as you look at your fears straight in the eye. Win this for yourself. You deserve it.
5. There’s nothing good about having fears.
Actually, there is. Fears help you understand yourself better, as they highlight what is truly important to you: your boundaries, your dreams and aspirations, your loved ones, your reputation. I mean consider this: you won’t be scared of losing something or doing something if what is at stake doesn’t matter, right? So consider your fears as gentle reminders of what needs your attention, whether it’s for self-improvement or the safety and growth of everyone else around you (and within you, as well). So stop resisting fear and start learning how you can sit with it comfortably so you get to understand it (and yourself) better.
Still scared? Hopefully lesser now after reading this.
Just remember: you will always be bigger than your fears.
Be brave enough to make life happen for you as you conquer them and own your space.
Honesty is the best policy.
I think we all grew up with that quote.
Whether it’s posted near the blackboard inside our classroom or written on a random page of our journal, we are oftentimes reminded of the true value of being honest in our lives.
Which in fact is quite valid because practicing honesty builds integrity and credibility, things we need in order to fully succeed in life. And trust me, you wouldn’t want to sacrifice those in the long run.
Sadly though, not all people welcome honesty with open arms. At times, no matter how well-meaning a person is, his/her honest remarks are taken as an attack.
While the issues and experiences of others are theirs to carry (which actually determine how they see the world and react to it, your message included), you should not burden yourself by doubting your actions if your intentions are pure.
At the end of the day, you know yourself best and you deserve to be honest not only with your words but also on how you choose to live life in general.
Take to heart though that your privilege goes the same for others and the key here is to practice respect while communicating honestly as we set and maintain necessary boundaries.
Think about the last honest conversation you had: how did it go?
Did the other party take it openly?
Or were you accused of being heartless, insensitive and outright rude?
While you can’t control the way others will react towards your honesty, you can always fine tune your way of delivering your message from your authentic self.
Here’s how you can be honest without being rude:
Most of the time, people get angry when caught off by surprise. Prevent this by preparing the person as you ask for permission if you can give your honest opinion. This gives the other party the time to think and consider his current space as to whether he is receptive towards it or isn’t ready at the moment. Either way, it will also give you an idea on whether to proceed or park it first to avoid conflict.
2. Clarify your intentions.
In order to avoid any form of misconception, it is important to state your reasons why you want to have that honest conversation and which space you’re coming from. Doing so allows the other party to loosen up and feel more safe and at ease to receiving your honest feedback.
3. Deliver your message mindfully.
How you structure your sentences and your choice of words can affect your delivery’s impact. Don’t forget your tone of voice and body language too. My tip here is that: if you were going to say the same thing to your 5 year old self, how will you do so coming from a space of love and genuine concern? Start from there. P.S. be clear and concise so that the key message doesn’t drown along the way.
4. Take time to listen and ask for feedback.
Being honest is also a two-way street. So best if you lend your ears as you ask about the feelings of the other person concerned. Once more, assure the other person that you will be open to listening and receiving feedback, much like how he/she did. Never block off what the other person has to say and never anticipate it as a form of attack. Be humble enough to allow yourself to know the impact of your message. Clarify and apologize if needed.
5. Ask how you can help out moving forward.
A gem of an effort indeed. It’s all about making the other person feel supported no matter what. Genuinely ask for what support you can offer and how can things be better for both of you moving forward. It’s not just about being able to say your piece, but rather using that conversation as a springboard to improving things around (and within) you .
Always remember that there’s nothing wrong with being honest.
However, know that you have a choice as to not come off as blunt by becoming more mindful of your words and actions.
That’s part of becoming your own #bestmeever .
Self talk is very powerful.
And that’s a fact.
How you talk to yourself, how you view and treat yourself becomes your every day reality.
Now my question is: how are your conversations with yourself? Which space are you coming from?
Take this time to reflect: what have you been saying to yourself?
Are you expressing joy? Disappointment? Anger? Shame? Excitement? Guilt?
How do these conversations affect your day to day existence?
Before you raise your eyebrows, know that you’re not going crazy as you engage in self talk.
It’s actually a healthy way to allow your mind to process things better and understand the space you’re coming from.
It also gives you the chance to affirm yourself and ground yourself when needed.
However, you can only reap the beautiful benefits of self-talk if you choose to engage in yours positively.
This means that you exert conscious effort to find what is good in your space and appreciate yourself, no matter what happens around you (or even sometimes within you).
It’s all about coming from a space of love and understanding, knowing that you are doing the best that you can, with all that you are and all that you have and that will always be more than enough reason for you to appreciate yourself more.
Take this to heart: as you speak lovingly to yourself, you allow yourself to maximize your potential and grow to the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
And by doing so, you also enable yourself to come from a space of overflow, which makes you not settle for anything less than what you deserve, as you also teach others how to treat you better.
Your self deserves an apology if you’ve been neglecting it for quite sometime now. Whether you got too busy at work that you overlooked your self-care routine or treated it badly because you were having a bad day, be humble enough to say sorry. Mean it. And make sure to make up for it as you commit to try your best not to do what you hurt yourself with again.
2. Thank you, Self
You, reading this now means that you’ve made it this far. And trust me, you couldn’t have done it without trusting (and working on/with) yourself. Every single day, new possibilities await you– be patient with yourself and your growth. Be grateful for what your life has become at the moment. It’s a stepping stone towards what you’re meant to be in this lifetime. Trust me: a whole hearted, genuine self appreciation goes a long way.
3. I am proud of you, Self
When life seems so challenging, we tend to forget how many times we survived far harder situations in the past. Honor yourself. Your battle scars are testament that you are trying (harder even at times) and for that alone you deserve a pat on the back, regardless of the results. Today, count your blessings and realize how blessed you are and how much you’ve grown.
4.I love you, Self
Give yourself the kind of love you freely give to others. Before you cringe — it’s not cheesy or self-serving. It’s actually something your self really deserves: to know that he/she is unconditionally loved for who and what he/she is. As what Ru Paul always says: If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can anybody else? Amen to that!
5. We can do this, Self
If you want to succeed in this life time, be your own greatest fan. Believe in yourself fully and you will be totally unstoppable. Free yourself from the need to be validated by others as you focus on yourself and your own growth. Know that you have everything within you to succeed and it’s all up to you on how you will maximize it. When the going gets tough, inquire within and give yourself that gentle nudge to keep going. Keep believing.
I hope that you get to build a better relationship with yourself after reading this.
Looking forward to seeing you have more loving talks from the heart with the most important person in the room:
your precious self.
