And a bunch of other stuff that required you to build yourself (and your broken self esteem) from ground zero up once more.
Consider this though: starting from scratch isn’t all that bad, most especially if you see the value in doing so.
Remember: starting all over again allows you to rebuild your life exactly the way you want it to be, as you considered all the lessons you have learned from things that initially fell apart.
Yep, they had to happen so that you will have a clearer idea of what can still be improved in your space so that you eventually end up with the life you want and deserve as you become your own #bestmeever in the process.
If you are in the midst of re-writing your own story and encountering difficulty in coping as you do so, here are 5 ways to make starting all over again easier:
First things first: embrace change whole heartedly
Stop resisting. Trust the process. Acknowledge the space you’re in and come from humility and openness. Remember: you can’t make the most of your journey if you keep on running away or fighting back the experiences that will help mold you into the person you need to become for your next chapter. Do away first with your biases and assumptions because they blur beautiful possibilities and instill unwarranted fear.
2. Stop obsessing over the past
Psst. It’s over and done with. There’s nothing you can do to bring back time. And you shouldn’t even try. Channel all your what could have beens to what can still be as you focus on the now. Be at peace with letting go knowing that all things that have happened (and the relationships that you had) already served their purpose. Let them be as you set yourself free from all the things weighing you down so you can create more space for better things to come into your life.
3. Determine how your next chapter will look like
Without any clear goal, starting all over again isn’t really possible. I mean, knowing where you want to go and vividly having an idea of your desired next chapter allows you to plan your next steps based on what is still under your control. In the process of visualizing your desired new story plot, make sure you don’t limit yourself based on what you’ve been through or going through at present. Both will change, depending on the work you put in as you move forward. Explore possibilities. If nothing can stop you and everything is possible, how will your next chapter be like? Reflect. And make sure it’s one you truly like.
4. Dream big, start small
Don’t overwhelm yourself with the grandness of your desired next chapter. Chunk down your action plans into small steps. Be mindful about going at your own pace as you focus on your own goals and space. Also, know that your progress isn’t determined just by the steps you take forward, but rather, even as you pause or completely stop to reflect and recalibrate, you’re actually growing. So be kinder to yourself as you just do what you can with all that you have. That will always be more than enough.
Knowing that you are not alone in your journey can do wonders for you. Involve people who are closest to your heart in your journey and let them shower you with that much needed and deserved love and support when days seem tougher than usual. Celebrate with them your progress and allow them to inspire you as you move forward in life. You may want to document your journey as well and share it to the rest of the world, because for all you know, you are the inspiration someone, somewhere out there, needs at this point in time. You, moving on, has a purpose too.
To move on and start all over again is a matter of choice. One that you truly deserve to give yourself. And that starts by committing to starting all over again. May this demarcate your Day 1.
Fact: Not everyone will be happy for you when you succeed. Also a fact: You can’t force these people to change.
There, I said it. Now take it all in.
I know. And I totally get you.
Been there. Been that.
And to be candid about it, as I continue journeying towards my own #bestmeever , I continue to experience that still.
What I have come to realize about the entire experience of growing into the person you’re meant to be is that some people will not be able to grow in harmony with you.
As you soar higher in this life time, some will get left behind.
Sadly though, regardless of the relationship you have with them, these will be the very same people who will try to minimize your success.
I have heard (and been told upfront) these before:
“Only bronze?” – when I first placed in the 2022 edition of the Coach Awards in the Best Wellness Coach Category.
“He just probably paid for his awards and articles.” – when I got recognized by a number of international media and organizations for my work and got included in their listicles.
“You charge too much.” – from a person who hasn’t even tried my services and didn’t bother reading the testimonials of my clients
“He’s not that big time yet globally.” – said someone about my international exposures and clients.
“He’s just charming and the audience loves him that’s why he gets invited often” – said someone who questioned my multiple media exposures and subject matter expert interviews.
“National Bookstore? Only ranked #9. It’s just Amazon. Anyone can best selling author there.” – said someone who had a self-published book which barely made any sales.
And I can go on and on from the years of experiencing such.
And I know you can relate too.
When people tell you that you aren’t good enough.
That you had it easy.
That your achievements don’t really matter that much.
But let me tell you this now: that isn’t exactly the case.
Allow me to share with you the 5 things you can do when someone minimizes your success:
Remind yourself that you define your own success
Success is relative. And it’s not just anchored on huge milestones or achievements. Success can mean as much as starting your own fitness journey, saying NO for the first time or simply making it through the day. You define it. Never let others implement ridiculous metrics that you don’t even subscribe to.
2. Don’t carry the weight of others’ projections on you
When people try to bring you down, it stems from their own insecurities, frustrations and pains. Really successful and genuinely happy people don’t have time to minimize the success of others simply because they have so much joy in their space and they are very much secure to let others share spaces and grow in harmony with them. In my case, I always reflect: what can be their reason for doing that? What pain is driving their action? For all you know, they probably want your success for themselves. Or they try to bring you down because they feel they’re being left behind. That makes me feel compassion than resistance while letting go of the unnecessary baggage their comments bring. And yes, you don’t need to deal with their pains. It’s theirs to carry and process.
3. Reflect: What’s the value of their comment in your journey towards growth?
Oftentimes, the people who belittle you and your success don’t really have that much value in your life. Total strangers. Acquaintances. People you had a fall out with. So…why would their opinion matter? The mere fact that they didn’t have any significant contribution to your growth, why be burdened by what they have to say? You don’t have to take in everything and you don’t have to explain yourself.
4. Focus on those who truly value and celebrate you
You don’t deserve to be held back from becoming your best by anyone. So instead on dwelling too much on the approval and validation you never got, focus on all the kind words and gestures from people who genuinely love and support you. Their presence in your life weighs more. Reflect: who are these people in your life who truly have your back? Keep them closer.
5. Continue celebrating your success
Huge trigger for those who want to bring you down, if I may say. When you are very much secured about yourself and you have the purest intention of inspiring others as you share and celebrate success, its value amplifies. Someone out there needs to see you push forward so he/she will also be inspired to take his/her first step towards growth even if some people are making things harder than usual. Play the part. Be the disruptor. Show others how it’s done. Succeed even more. Consistency drives nay sayers beyond crazy. Best clap back ever without lifting a finger.
Wherever you are now, I hope you become more comfortable in acknowledging your own worth and success.
You don’t need anyone else to be proud of you to validate your progress and significance in this life time.
You matter. Everything about you does.
Take that to heart always as you give yourself the success that is due.
I will always be proud of you. Now, be proud of yourself too.
I win. Every single day. Every single way. Well, this is how I like to see things, to be candid about it.
Ever since I started practicing gratitude, the way I see (and experience) things changed for the better and I got to make the most of my life more, amidst its twists and turns.
For me, there are good days and days for learning. There. Just the two.
I know it’s quite easy to celebrate huge milestones and bask in the glory, but truth be told, small ones matter as much. They keep you going. And even slow days are worth celebrating. Be comfortable with them.
This is just one of the beautiful truths about winning in life: size does not matter.
By embracing this, you get to enjoy and experience life more.
Allow me to share with you the other 5 truths about winning in life:
Winning is an internal experience
You don’t have to wait for others to validate you to feel that you have succeeded in a task or achieved a certain goal. Winning is a feeling, and it is felt by choice and by being mindful and appreciative of your own worth and effort. Those can never be compensated by what others have to offer you (or not). The key here is to come from a space of self-love and knowing your worth that goes beyond any achievement. In my case, during the times I lost in a competition or rejected for a project, I still look for the silver linings. And believe me, there are a lot. Being given the chance to improve myself, to explore other options and to try again for even better ones are just some of the beautiful opportunities hidden in every seemingly painful situations.
2. Winning takes time
Success doesn’t happen overnight. And if it does, most often than not, it’s not sustainable or scalable to some extent. So stop rushing things. Take your time as you pour in the committed work bundled with the clearest intentions so that you get to appreciate your journey every step of the way. Mind you, it took me 7 years worth of hard work, blood, sweat and tears, unwavering commitment, countless rejections and a good number of client testimonials before I won the Gold in the Best Life Coach Category in the 2024 Coach Awards (Shout out to all those people who made this possible — you know who you are). But mind you: I got to enjoy, humble myself, learn and grow in my journey as a budding life coach finding his way as he lives his purpose years back even before that huge milestone which opened a lot of new doors. Looking back at my entire experience humbles me in the process and makes me appreciate the time spent on working on myself and my craft. All worth it.
3. Not everyone will celebrate your win with you
When the going gets tough, or when you enter a competition, you will see who has your back fully. What I learned based on experience: there will be some people whom you are counting on who will not show up. There will be others who will give you half-hearted support, those who genuinely love and support you unconditionally and there will be total strangers rallying for you to your surprise. And when you win, you will see the people who helped you all through out and those who are celebrating you (and with you), those who just watched and waited to see your results before celebrating you and those who totally disappear in the process. And guess what? That’s totally fine. It’s your win. Share it because you deserve it as your intention is to inspire, and leave it to people on how they will accept it. That’s beyond your control so just let go and accept things as they are.
4. To really win, you must feel genuinely happy, complete and fulfilled
Don’t pay for awards. Don’t fake anything. You don’t have to look good in the eyes of others to win in this lifetime. Winning becomes priceless when you know deep within that you truly deserved it. Take up space as the imperfect version of yourself and just do your best as you focus on things which really spark joy and inspire you fully. That will always be more than enough, regardless of the result you may have.
5. To win in life, you just have to embrace your own #bestmeever
Be the person you’re meant to be, not what every one else around you expects you to be or what you thought you should be. Set yourself free and embrace your authentic, unapologetic, grandest version of yourself, your own #bestmeever , no matter how that may look like for you with 100% commitment. Stop trying to be like someone else or merely replicating what others have done to succeed in their journey. Own yours by creating your own path and doing what’s best for you — that itself is a huge win. To be a disruptor in your chosen space to inspire others to carve their own destiny as well. Whether you choose to become a best selling author, or a business man, a house wife or whatever it is that you want to be, for as long as it’s true and you’re genuinely happy, you do you.
I hope now you have a better appreciation of how to really win in life. And by reading this, you’ve already won. Congratulations.
There’s something about wanting to start the year right by turning a new leaf.
Quite timely and relevant if I may say.
I mean, after learning all the valuable lessons from the year that was, I am sure that when you take them to heart, you get to become your #bestmeever in the process.
Speaking of becoming better, the new year I believe is also the perfect time to explore and try out new things as you align yourself with what is dearly true to you.
So before even coming from a space of resistance or fear, try to consider this: you have nothing to lose but much to gain if you focus on (and commit to) improving yourself in the year to come.
Here are 5 new things you can explore this new year to help you as you continue to journey towards your own #bestmeever:
A new skill
Upskiling can do wonders for you, not only in terms of your career but also in terms of having personal fulfillment. Time to reflect: what skill do you need now that can allow you to upgrade your life? In my case, year on year, I try to get myself certified and trained for a new coaching discipline or any other complimentary skill that I can use in my coaching practice e.g. utilizing a new app etc. Whatever that may be, it’s never too late to learn it and use it moving forward. Just make sure you’re also interested in it and fully committed to the skill on hand so you don’t waste your time and effort.
2. A new hobby
Focusing too much on work can burn you out. Try to find a new hobby that you think you will truly enjoy and can help you decompress and relax amidst the your busy schedule. My suggestion: think of a hobby that can bring out your creativity. Or one that can help you earn money. Or even one that simply fills your heart with joy and fulfillment at the end of the day. It will be beautiful if you find all of those in one particular hobby. So whether that’s painting artworks or working out at the gym or even traveling, do what you feel your heart is telling you to do. It will lead you to what you truly need.
3. A new job
I have been out of the corporate setting for over 2 decades now so is resigning during December after getting the bonuses still a trend? Haha! Please enlighten me. But hey seriously, I think more than just getting the bonuses, I feel that the holidays have allowed people to reflect fully on what truly matters to them and what job makes their heart skip a beat. I will say this again: it’s never too late to start all over again and pursue a career that you find most meaningful. I mean, look at me: I traded my corporate hat before as a marketing and advertising executive to become a full-time professional coach. I mean admittedly the entire journey wasn’t a walk in the park but hey, looking back, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made because I get to do what I love most, have time and location freedom and feel genuinely happy and fulfilled as I change lives of others on a daily basis. So yeah, maybe this is the sign you’re looking for to finally give your CV a much-needed update and boost.
4. A new relationship
Ok, before you raise an eyebrow, it’s not just really about a romantic relationship. But hey, no one’s stopping you though if that’s what you truly want and you’re really ready to have one. A new relationship here can mean redefining your current one, whether it’s on a romantic, familial or work note. It can even refer to the one you have with yourself. The key here is to reflect on this question: what can make my relationship better? Answer honestly and give yourself whatever it is you need there after simply because, you deserve to grow in harmony with all the relationships you choose to keep.
5. A new mindset
“Whether you’re wrong or right, if you believe it, you’re right.” Can’t agree more. The new year presents a beautiful opportunity to check on your belief systems that no longer work for you or your mental patterns that hold you back. Allow yourself to come from a space of honesty and vulnerability so you can fully identify and address your mindset concerns. Consider the new year as a fresh start. However, mind you though: changing your mindset does not have to be scheduled during the new year alone – it’s actually a continuous process all year round and beyond. The key here is just to allow yourself to finally start seeing (and doing) things differently so you can have a different set of results too in your life.
As we welcome the possibilities that the new year brings, may you embrace the new things that can make your 2025 your best year ever yet.
Wishing you the best in 2025 and looking forward to seeing the new you!
It’s better to give than to receive. One of the most popular quotes I grew up with.
Admittedly though, however, planning what to give people this Christmas can be so stressful at times.
A lot of things to consider: the likes of the person, the budget, how to wrap it, where and when to send it….and the list goes on.
Ok, before you judge yourself: you are not over reacting. You only want what’s best for the recipient of your gift. Of course you want that person who means a lot to you become genuinely happy and feel appreciated fully.
I mean, at the end of the day, it’s not about how grand your gift is; it’s about how heartfelt your intentions are behind what you’re giving.
Allow me to share with you 5 special gifts you can give this Christmas:
Time
Time is the best gift you can give anyone, whether during Christmas time or not. Trust me, your presence means a lot. There are people who get so lonely during the holidays and no material gift can take the place of someone’s good company. Brave the traffic. Invite people (or yourself) over. Just be there to celebrate the holidays with people who are closest to your heart. It can change their lives. And yours too.
2. A hand-written love letter
It’s very rare nowadays to see long, love-filled letters from the heart so receiving them can be quite a pleasant surprise. I don’t know about you but there’s something about reading hand-written letters that makes me feel warm and appreciated all over. I like the rawness of the thoughts and the idea that the person giving it to me was writing it coming from an inspired space. All you need is a clean sheet of paper (if you still have stationaries, please—another rare gem!) and your trusty pen (I like mine in different shades which don’t blot) plus a nice, cozy space where you can pour your heart out as you write the most beautiful love letter yet.
3. Something you made by yourself
It’s time to put your skills and talents into meaningful use! Draw an artwork. Record a song. Compose a poem. Bake a cake (yummy). Create a video greeting. Whatever it is you’re good at (or even if not!), you can always create something beautiful if it comes from the heart. As they say, it’s the thought that counts and for sure your efforts will be greatly appreciated because those types of gifts give lasting impressions.
4. An opportunity to grow
Growth is one of the best gifts you can give to another person as it lasts long after the holidays are over. Whether it’s a pre-paid coaching program or a gym membership or even a self-care package , all these can help improve the overall wellness and well-being of your loved ones, allowing them to grow in harmony with life, no matter what space they’re in at present. Wouldn’t it be amazing to be part of someone’s milestones? You can be just that.
5. A prayer
It’s a divine experience knowing that someone prayed for you or offered their intentions during mass for your safety and wellbeing. I don’t know about you but it makes me feel so loved when someone tells me that he/she prayed for me. The good thing about this is that this gift is not religion centric; you can practice your faith and pray for your loved ones to whomever you believe is your diving being. With the clearest intentions, I am sure your prayers will be heard one way or another. Another plus: you can do this at your convenience, when you’re 100% present.
I hope my list today gave you an idea on how you can make the holidays for others even more special.
Remember though, while you have the power to give these beautiful gifts to others, you can also gift yourself with the same, by choice. You are worthy, much like everyone else, to have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
….forgot the password to your account which got locked?
…had something stolen from you?
How did you deal with it?
Whatever your response then, it’s ok. You still have time to tweak it as you read this.
Yup, it was a learning experience for me yesterday, and until now as I troubleshoot and write this.
Sharing with you the 5 ways you can deal with a sudden loss:
Don’t panic
I know. It can be so stressful. But think about this: panicking won’t help you in the process. In fact, making impulsive decisions can wreck even more havoc in the long run. The key here is to pause and ground yourself so that you can think of a logical situation when all your emotions have stabilized. Taking deep breaths can do wonders for you.
2. Assess the situation carefully
After recognizing your emotions and letting them settle, try to see the situation on hand objectively. What is the implication? What can you be missing out? What must you consider? What can be good about this? I had to answer all those 4 when I was trying to pacify myself yesterday and it gave me enough leverage to come up with what will work best for me at that given point in time.
3. Let go of anything beyond your control
This is a golden rule. I mean why continuously stress over things (and people) you have no control of? Stressing over them won’t change a thing and it won’t definitely guarantee you the desired outcome you want. Remember: you spend precious energy as you try to control everything. What you can do is utilize the same amount of energy and effort in letting go and focusing on what you can still influence as of the moment so that you don’t go around in circles.
4. Seek help
You are never alone and it’s ok to seek for help because that’s a sign of strength. Give yourself the assistance you deserve by acknowledging the fact that sometimes you can’t do things on your own. I immediately reached out to my web developer and to a couple of techie people I know for help and the guidance they gave me allowed me to formulate my options moving forward.
5. Check on your priorities
Based on your assessment of the situation, what should you focus on first? Again, it’s imperative to let go of all the distractions so that you can create a strategic pathway towards the soundest solution you need and want for yourself. Consider the help you have received and know that at the end of the day, you can only do so much so working on resolving one thing at a time is best. In my case, my priority was to inform everyone affected by the loss of my email and give them an alternative email where they can reach me instead. I am lucky though that people I reached out too were kind enough to understand the problem and were willing to make necessary adjustments.
You might be curious about my own resolution. Well, what I did was get myself a new domain hosting and service. You can now reach me at myke@bestmeever.net 🙂
I can definitely say that after 5 years, I am at peace with letting go of my previous domain, bestmeever.com. I will always be grateful for it served its purpose well and has been instrumental in receiving numerous good news and blessings through the years. Thank you.
However, life goes on. And so can I. Still on my way to becoming my own #bestmeever . With my new email address.
“You deserve to give yourself the kind of love and understanding you willingly give to others.” One of my favorite reminders, actually.
Let’s face it: oftentimes we forget ourselves in the process of wanting to please others too much.
In the end though, we realize that seeing the smiles on the faces of other people can’t really fully address your own void
So let me ask you this: when was the last time you put yourself first?
When was the last time you gave yourself what is due without feeling guilty?
If your answer is “never” or you have long forgotten when, then this is your sign to treat yourself kinder.
Hear me out on this: whatever you’ve been through, or whatever it is that you’re going through, no matter how f*cked up life may be, beating yourself up and depriving yourself won’t resolve the issue on hand or bring back time.
Hard slap I know. But you needed that.
If you want to change the space you’re in, start by being kinder to yourself.
Because as you take care of yourself more, you become happier and you also teach others how to treat you.
Stop questioning yourself whether you’re deserving or not of that kindness. That was never the question.
It’s all about recognizing your own worth and being comfortable with owning your space as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
And you can achieve just that by following these 5 tips on how you can be kinder to yourself:
Listen to yourself
Uhuh. Never disregard your own needs and wants. They matter. And you matter as much as anyone else. You don’t need to shut off that inner voice telling you what can make you become happier and more fulfilled in this life time. Acknowledge them and give yourself what is due. Because each time you fill up your own cup, you come from a space of overflow and you get to share more to others.
2. Have loving conversations with yourself
How you speak to yourself affects how you see and feel about yourself. Engaging in positive self talk allows you to appreciate and empower yourself more. Mind you though: it’s not just about saying things; it’s all about believing them too. On a personal note, what I do is that every time I stand in front of the mirror, I do my affirmations as I give myself the credit that is due, whole heartedly. Sometimes the exact words we need to hear need not come from others. We can just genuinely speak from the heart as we tell ourselves just those.
3. Set and observe boundaries
Respect is key in any relationship, including the one that you have with yourself. By setting boundaries, you allow yourself to exist in a happier space as you protect yourself from anything or anyone not in alignment with your core values. Never feel guilty for distancing yourself from unnecessary stress and drama. They don’t deserve to share spaces with you in the first place.
4. Invest on yourself and your growth
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is growth. You are the best investment you can ever make so don’t set aside opportunities to work on yourself, develop your potential and become the person you’re meant to be. Working on yourself is never an unnecessary expense — it’s a must if you want to make the most of this lifetime. So whether you enroll in a class that’s in alignment with your passion, get a coach, or go on that much needed vacation, do it. You grow more when you flow.
5. Pursue your dreams
You’re not just an enabler for others — you also deserve to make your dreams come true. Give yourself enough time and space to go for what you truly want in life. It’s never too late to listen to yourself and fulfill what makes your heart skip a beat. Make your own fairy tale come true by unapologetically taking steps towards your own north star, as you finally live your true purpose in this lifetime, whatever that may be for you. At the end of the day, you can always help others even as you pursue your own dreams. Never think it’s about choosing one over the other.
These are only 5 tips. You can do so much more to treat yourself with kindness. Allow yourself to explore and implement them. Because you are worthy of taking up space too.
You can only accept things which you fully understand. This has always been one of my favorite things to tell my coaching clients.
So true, don’t you think.
I am basically coming from a premise that humans oftentimes, if not always, resist what is unfamiliar.
However, we must be ready to embrace change always because as they say, it’s inevitable.
But how can you embrace something which you don’t fully know about or understand?
Oops. there we go again. Questioning things even before we try it. Got you there! Haha!
But yes, that basically shows my point.
Don’t fret though. Tips are just around the corner.
Here are 5 ways to help you understand things better:
Give yourself enough time and space to think
Ok, I know change can be too overwhelming at times. So the key here is to create enough space between you and your thoughts and assumptions (and if possible, the trigger source per se), so you don’t get too caught up in the moment. Never let yourself act out of impulse. Instead, focus on retreating temporarily to your safe space (no matter how that may look like for you), as you gather facts and respond based on them. Yep, respond, not react.
2. Do away with your biases
We have all grown up differently, having sets of experiences which are unique to us. These experiences have formed biases that blur our logic and decision making, as they focus too much on what is familiar, pleasurable or what we think is right. However, biases are more often than not mere assumptions and at times no longer serve their purpose when put in the current context. So best if you ask yourself: what am I merely assuming in this case? What biases of mine are coming into play? Then answer both as honestly as possible.
3. Focus on the value
Like I always say, good or bad, everything that happens to you has a reason. When you want to understand something that you are initially resisting, whether it’s an unfortunate turn of events or an unexpected detour, focus on the value it brings: the lessons, the growth and the new opportunity to start all over again on a clean slate moving forward. Consider yourself lucky to be able to learn and grow along the way as you understand your space better. A powerful question you can ask yourself is: What is this teaching me? Try it.
4. Be open
You can’t control everything. And that’s perfectly fine. Because you shouldn’t. Trust in the grander design of things far beyond your knowledge and power. Know that if you just allow yourself to flow, you actually grow more in the process.
5. Experience it for yourself
As they say, don’t knock it off until you try it. See for yourself. Experiencing things (and people) as they are fully allows you to understand completely as you go face to face with your fears, assumptions and desires moving forward. Give it a chance. Whether you finally say yes or no, you are worth the decision you are making for as long as you’re coming from a space of full understanding.
I hope this helps you understand the space you’re in at the moment.
Know though that whatever that may look like for you at present, it’s ok.
Bigger is not always better. There I said it. But it’s quite true.
This stemmed from my recent experience eating in a buffet in Novotel. For Sunday lunch, the food spread was huge and the variety was quite impressive, given the presence of some uncommon seafood for grilling (think Curacha, and no, not the 90s movie, among others).
At first, since I didn’t have breakfast to make space for this feast (am I the only one who does this?), I was like: let’s do this. So off I went to sample some of the items immediately: got myself a huge slice of roast beef, a plateful of seafood (only half of which I can identify) and a bunch of baked veggies. Halfway through my delicious meal, my eyes started wandering around, looking for my next target. A part of me wanted to sample the rest of the eye candies on hand but guess what, before I can even go back to eating what’s left on my plate, somewhat I already felt full. What?! Paano masulit ang buffet (which happens to be the common biggest concern of Filipinos when indulging in eat-all-you-can restos, more so if they’re on the pricey side)?!
Geez. I should have remembered. Strategy is key to enjoy the sumptuous buffet spread more. I should have went around first to scout. Gotten smaller pieces. Took my time. And not ate like a hungry Viking having his last meal. Oh well, at that time what I did just made sense.
But looking at it now, I got to reflect about the times in the past where I got tempted to go for shiny objects, normally an upgrade or a size larger than usual, not necessarily because I needed it but just because I thought it would be a better deal for me.
Whether shopping at Landers or S&R for body wash and detergents which are big enough to be shared even to my neighbors;
Or when going for an upsize in my regular dessert, thinking I deserved it, while totally ignoring the additional calories and expense;
Or even when choosing a gift during Kris Kringle, my eyes normally dart to the biggest, most beautifully wrapped one.
But hey, what I have come to realize is that it’s not the size really which matters.
Growth, no matter the size or speed, is still progress.
Gifts, no matter how much they cost, are still thoughtful gestures.
Not all things have to be grand to mean more.
And to make the most of this lifetime, we should just focus on being grateful for whatever we have and whatever is given, taking only what we need while sharing with others what we have more of.
Even the smallest, simplest joys matter.
And yes, that includes the food in the buffet which will never run out so get only what you can finish. Remember, the more you let others enjoy the food alongside you, the faster it will be refilled. Applies to life’s blessings as well.
Now at this point in time, I want you to reflect:
What small things in your life can you appreciate more?
What can help you become more mindful of them?
I hope moving forward, you get to look beyond what is superficial and just embrace things as they are.
For all you know, what you have in front of you, is actually larger than life.
It was a very colorful event, so to speak. Both literally and figuratively if I may say.
So I just came back from my stint as a keynote speaker in the Sorsogon Pride Summit (thank you to the Provincial Government of Sorsogon for having me), as part of the celebration of the 2024 Kasanggayahan Festival
.
And I must tell you, even if I have done a lot of talks and advocacy work geared towards promoting inclusivity and diversity for the LGBTQIA+ community, this experience opened my eyes to new possibilities.
You see, it was the first time I saw kids (I assume they were just around 11-13 years old) participate actively in the summit. And I kid you not when I say that their make up and get up would put even the best contestants of Ru Paul’s Drag Race to shame.
I was in awe of their confidence and how comfortably they expressed themselves based on what was true for them and not on what the society expects, something which, in other places or circumstances, will get raised eyebrows and heads shaking with disapproval.
And yet there I was, beaming with pride, as I welcomed them onstage during the awarding ceremony of the program, wherein each LGBTQIA+ group who participated were duly recognized for their support to the said event.
For a moment, I reflected: how would things look for me now if I had the same courage and support from all the people around me back then when I was struggling to figure out who and what I was while growing up?
Would life have been better? Happier? Would I still have journeyed towards my own #bestmeever ?
I wouldn’t know now for sure. My journey growing up in a time when being gay was quite unacceptable and anyone who did not conform with the societal norm was ostracized and ridiculed endlessly, was far from what my eyes are showing me now and what my heart is letting me feel.
Don’t get me wrong: I have no regrets. I totally believe that my own set of experiences have led me to genuinely advocate for inclusivity and diversity through the years which I believe, gradually, is initiating the much needed changes I longed to see when I started.
And we are very much deserving of it, regardless of our race, gender, status, accomplishment, religion or whatever standards that may divide us, knowingly or unknowingly.
Being different is a gift. It shouldn’t be taken against anyone who is just very much deserving to take up space as he/she is.
Standing out is not a crime. Fitting in is not a must. It’s all about respect.
There I said it.
Never let what makes you special weigh you down.
Own your space by fully embracing who and what you are, no ifs, or buts.
Be proud of what you chose to become amidst the ups and downs in life.
Those LGBTQIA+ kids made me realize that there was hope.
It was so heartwarming to witness each one of them being seen, heard, felt and celebrated.
I fervently hope such goes on long after the Pride summit is over.
To make that happen, we need each other, members of the LGBTQIA+ community or otherwise.
To inform. To Understand. To Accept.
So at this point in time, I want you to reflect on this:
What must you change within you so you can understand and accept others better?
What can you do to inspire others to do the same?
I look forward to seeing you do your part in creating a world where no one gets left behind.
Where someday, everyone can just be themselves, safely and free.
