" To become my own #bestmeever ."

Perhaps everyone's goal this year.

To finally be his/her best.

That's such an empowering thought, if I may say.

And hopefully, that aspiration rings true long after 2023 has passed.

I mean, we should always strive to be our best right? Not just during new year.

However, admittedly, easier said than done.

Changing for the better does not happen overnight.

It requires a whole lot of work, a number of sacrifices and the right ammunition to be able to become the best version of one's self.

Allow me to share with you the 5 things you need to become the best version of yourself:

1.) A clear goal / vision

It all starts with being so specific and precise about what is it that you really want to become? How does your best version look like? What does it feel? Check on your core values and create that vivid scenario in your mind so that you have something to anchor on as you transition towards your best. Avoid generic statements like "I just want to be happier." or "I am financially stable." . Fill in as much details as you can. Write them down if you must and you can add pictures as visual support even. Remember, the clearer you are, the better because your action plans become more aligned with your end goal in mind.

2.) Healthy habits

Yes, health is wealth. So we must treat our over all wellness and well-being as something that is priceless. Check on your habits. What are not working for you? What can you change? What can you add to compliment your desired results in your life? This requires a whole lot of honesty and commitment because as they say, old habits die hard. However, by choice, you can overcome those which have been wrecking havoc in your life, one step at a time, one day at a time. Whether it's all about eating mindfully this time around, exercising, prioritizing your mental health, sanitizing your social circle or simply letting yourself be -- create healthy habits that will help you become your best eventually.

3.) Commitment to a definite timeline

Your "when" is just as important as your "what" , "why" and "how". Give yourself a specific target date of completion. When do you want to achieve all these? Identify milestones along the way so that you will be continuously inspired. Stay committed to your goals even during tough times by being flexible in your approach and celebrating growth of whatever size or impact. Do away with your notion of "someday" and "one day" and focus on turning each and every moment as a potential "day one" --- where in you're overly excited, very committed and hungry to pursue your dreams as you become the person you're meant to be.

4.) A loving support group

While it's awesome (and mandatory, actually) to be the greatest fan of one's self, it would be nice to have people rallying behind your back as you reach for the stars and make your dreams come true. Involve the people closest to your heart: family, friends, significant others, mentors etc. -- basically whoever you think can inspire you along the way when the going gets tough and when you have wins to celebrate collectively.

5.) An awesome life coach

No joke. Really. Get yourself a highly qualified coach to journey with you so that you get to navigate clearly in your personal or professional journey with the greatest of ease. Choose one you resonate with and one who embodies your very own aspirations e.g. if you want to work on your weight, self perception and mindset, try seeking for a coach that has done that and delivered results for himself and others. before . Someone who walks the talk, basically. Note that your chosen coach must just be inspiring for you so that each and every session that you have with that person, will be life changing as he motivates you fully, genuinely. Remember, your coach is perhaps one of the best investments you can make as you embark on a journey towards personal growth. So choose well.

After reading all these, now it's time for you to reflect: what's that one thing I can do immediately to become the best version of myself?

Then take it from there.

Cheering you on!

Happy 41st birthday, Self!

Yes, I am now officially 41.

And come to think of it, it's such a beautiful experience to be able to reach this age. I mean growing up, I never had an idea how it would look and feel like. But hey, here I am now, blowing my candle and adding yet another year to my life.

While others become worried as they age, I am actually having a grand time embracing the person that I am becoming: my own #bestmeever . Yes, I truly believe that the best is yet to come.

Thinking about it now, it was definitely a one-of-a-kind roller coaster ride towards becoming the person I am meant to be. I lost count of the number of ups and downs, the twists and turns and everything that happened in between. But hey, I am genuinely grateful for all of them because they all happened for a reason, and the core being is that all those were essential to my learning and growth.

Coming from honesty and humility, I am just so happy that at this point in time, I no longer feel anxious about what the future may bring. There's freedom in trusting myself and the process as I let myself (and things) be.

I have to say, experience indeed is the best teacher. I wouldn't be a credible coach now if I haven't experienced all those in the past 41 years. And today, I would like to share with you the 41 life lessons I learned which molded me into the person that I am now.

Indulge!

1. You can always love yourself more by choice, and it's ok.
2. Whatever you tolerate will eventually take its toll on you. So don't if it doesn't sit well with you.
3. Never keep things to yourself. Speak up. Your personal freedom is more important than the reactions of others.
4. You don't have much time but you can always choose to make the most of what you have.
5. To be different is a gift. Cherish it. Own it.
6. You can be successful and unhappy or struggling yet happy. You have the choice to turn both around.
7. What you truly deserve will always be better than what you initially wanted. Trust in God's plan.
8. Every pain has a purpose. You just have to stop resisting and start seeing things beyond the hardships,
9. Your willingness to invest on yourself is commensurate to your willingness to grow. It's a question of how much are you worth it?
10. You don't ever need to justify the wring doings of others. Allow yourself to feel hurt and acknowledge that space. You don;t have to deny that because you want to save a relationship.
11. You can be independent, empowered and genuinely happy if you allow yourself to live outside of social and personal expectations.
12. Don't minimize your goals based on your experience. Create goals based on what you really want and get enough experience and enlightenment to work on them no matter how big they may seem at first.
13. There's more to life than just working to pay the bills.
14. A seemingly bad ending can actually be a prelude to a beautiful beginning.
15. If you're not happy, then that's not how the story ends yet.
16. Learn to normalize calling people as colleagues, acquaintances or whatever fits them if they're not really your friends.
17. Your happily ever after is not based on a certain age, achievement or person. It's based on what you truly feel within regardless of what you have or don't have.
18. Commitment requires 100%. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve.
19. Love comes unexpectedly. It pays off to always be ready.
20. There is much value in pausing, stopping and starting all over again. They shouldn't be perceived as negative delays.
21. You are worth every risk you are willing to take.
22. For as long as you're happy and healthy, you can become wealthy.
23. Feeling stuck at times can actually be a matter of choice.
24. Your credibility and integrity are priceless. So don't act cheap.
25. Don;t sweat about things that won't matter in 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 months or 5 years.
26. It's ok to love people from afar.
27. Love is brave and proud. If it's not, then that's not love.
28. There's no limit as to how many times you want to start all over again and reinvent yourself, for as long as you are clear with your goals and objectives.
29. You can't be everything that the world expects you to be but you can always be your best and that's more than enough.
30. Don't let anyone or anything question your genuine happiness. You know better.
31. Struggling at times makes the whole journey even more rewarding.
32. Don't let the people who have hurt you turn you into a person that you are not.
33. You are whole as is. Everyone who comes into your life is just a bonus.
34. Acknowledging your feelings and being truly honest with yourself are superpowers.
35. Everyone needs a coach. But there is a specific coach for someone.
36. It's ok to cut ties. You don't have to stay for the sake of old times, because if things were still the same, then cutting them off wouldn't be an option in the first place. People change. Feelings too. So can you.
37. You don't ever have to pressure yourself to conform just to be liked. You can be a disruptor and be loved.
38. Taking care of yourself, your looks, your mental health and well-being is never optional or dependent on anything or anyone else.
39. It's ok to try and fail than to have a bunch of what if's and what could have been's.
40. You can never be really ready but you can always choose to be brave enough now to at least try.
41. Life goes on. It always does. So can you.

So there you go! I hope these life lessons resonate with you.

I look forward to learning more this year.

Thank you for celebrating my 41st birthday with me.

My heart is full.

Fact: We all want to become our own #bestmeever

To be that authentic, unapologetic, grandest version of ourselves  so that we can live the life we have always wanted and deserved through self-empowerment.

The thing is though, it takes a whole lot of work, commitment, trust and love to journey within.

To heal from the past, accept the now and gain clarity of our biggest visions in life as we discover self-empowerment takes time (and effort, mind you).

In some cases though, it takes longer for others because of these things that prevent them from having a smooth journey towards their best.

Allow me to share with you 5 of the biggest hurdles that may hold you back from becoming your own #bestmeever :

1. Comparing yourself to others

Ok, your journey, is yours alone. It’s totally different from anyone else’s in this planet. So every time you compare (and contrast) your progress with that of others, you allow yourself to get distracted. In the end, no matter how your journey goes, know that it’s meant to teach you important lessons so you can own your best version eventually.

2. Stressing over the little things

No journey is perfect. And guess what? The little bumps along the way make each one even more exciting. So stop sweating over the small stuff. It’s a waste of time and energy. I mean details matter and all and it wouldn’t hurt to double check along the way. However, in the event that there are unforeseen circumstances where things don’t go as planned, if it’s not life changing, just take a deep breath and let go. Nothing is worth more than your inner peace.

3. Expectations

Never attach your own happiness to mere expectations. Instead of conditioning yourself that you will be happy when you achieve this and that, why not try to be happy in the now, with all things as is, as you are. There are so many things to be grateful and happy about at present so allow yourself to grow in harmony with the now.

4. Pleasing others too much

You are not every one’s servant at their beck and call so stop thinking and acting like one. Remember, you also have the obligation to take care of yourself and give yourself what is due. So start saying ‘NO’ to others so you can say ‘YES’ more to yourself and your growth. At the end of the day, even if you don’t get the nod of others, the best person to please will always be yourself. And that will always be more than enough.

5. Putting yourself last

Making yourself a priority is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. There’s totally nothing wrong about considering your own needs and wants. Remember, taking care of yourself first will also allow you to take care of others more eventually. It has to start from you though as you give yourself the love and affection that you willingly give to others. How can you give what you don’t have? Self-empowerment comes first my dear.

I hope this list will help you catch yourself as you journey towards your best.

I look forward to seeing your own #bestmeever unfold soon.