Fact: We all want to become our own #bestmeever
The thing is though, it takes a whole lot of work, commitment, trust and love to journey within.
To heal from the past, accept the now and gain clarity of our biggest visions in life as we discover self-empowerment takes time (and effort, mind you).
In some cases though, it takes longer for others because of these things that prevent them from having a smooth journey towards their best.
Ok, your journey, is yours alone. It’s totally different from anyone else’s in this planet. So every time you compare (and contrast) your progress with that of others, you allow yourself to get distracted. In the end, no matter how your journey goes, know that it’s meant to teach you important lessons so you can own your best version eventually.
2. Stressing over the little things
No journey is perfect. And guess what? The little bumps along the way make each one even more exciting. So stop sweating over the small stuff. It’s a waste of time and energy. I mean details matter and all and it wouldn’t hurt to double check along the way. However, in the event that there are unforeseen circumstances where things don’t go as planned, if it’s not life changing, just take a deep breath and let go. Nothing is worth more than your inner peace.
3. Expectations
Never attach your own happiness to mere expectations. Instead of conditioning yourself that you will be happy when you achieve this and that, why not try to be happy in the now, with all things as is, as you are. There are so many things to be grateful and happy about at present so allow yourself to grow in harmony with the now.
4. Pleasing others too much
You are not every one’s servant at their beck and call so stop thinking and acting like one. Remember, you also have the obligation to take care of yourself and give yourself what is due. So start saying ‘NO’ to others so you can say ‘YES’ more to yourself and your growth. At the end of the day, even if you don’t get the nod of others, the best person to please will always be yourself. And that will always be more than enough.
5. Putting yourself last
Making yourself a priority is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. There’s totally nothing wrong about considering your own needs and wants. Remember, taking care of yourself first will also allow you to take care of others more eventually. It has to start from you though as you give yourself the love and affection that you willingly give to others. How can you give what you don’t have? Self-empowerment comes first my dear.
I hope this list will help you catch yourself as you journey towards your best.
I look forward to seeing your own #bestmeever unfold soon.
Words, once said, can never be undone.
Yup, words are that powerful.
And during this time of the COVID 19 pandemic that the world is filled with so much uncertainty, we have to keep in mind to choose what we say.
The least we need right now is to trigger more fear, stress, hopelessness or sadness among those around us.
Empathy is key nowadays. We should give ourselves and others the chance to know and understand our current space so that we can move on and forward and eventually become our own #bestmeever ”
Not everyone is on the same page at times, admittedly.
Be mindful though that people have different perspectives – and we should just allow and respect that. Give others the same space you are giving yourself to grow and flourish, at their own pace.
Never pressure others to bounce back immediately if they’re not yet ready.
Allow me to share with you my list of things we should avoid saying to practice sensitivity. These are actually some which I heard people say to others who were already struggling in their space. I can’t help but put it here so that people will be more mindful.
1. “You’re over reacting.”
This is so not true given that each one has his/her own way of responding to a situation. Given the different spaces we are coming from and the different experiences that we have, we cannot say that one is just over reacting without really understanding everything.
Solution: So come from a space minus of judgement. Tell them instead:
“I hear you. Allow yourself to express your emotions and when you’re ready, let’s talk.”
2. “Don’t focus too much on your feelings.”
Never ever tell people to set aside their emotions. Remember, feelings influence our thoughts and actions. So by telling others to invalidate them, you are taking away their chance of properly processing the space they’re in.
Solution: Allow others to really acknowledge their feelings and understand fully where they are coming from. Tell them instead:
“Take a step back and allow yourself to feel everything. When you’re ready to share with me, I will be waiting. “
3. “I told you so.”
Now is not the best time to come from one’s ego and reminding others about what should have been done. Pointing out previous mistakes can trigger more negative emotions than do the other person well.
Solution: Focus on empowering the other person on what can still be done differently. Tell them instead:
“I see. So what can you do now to address that? What support do you need from me?”
4. “I pity you.”
This is not showing sympathy at all. It’s like you are highlighting how seemingly hopeless the other person’s situation is. Remember, others don’t need to hear what they already know – they need to be empowered to see beyond the space they’re in.
Solution: Cheer them up. Encourage them to see the silver lining. Assure them that they’re not alone. Tell them instead:
“Hey, what can be good about this? I got you. Know that you are supported and loved always.”
5. “That’s how life is.”
This is something on a personal note I don’t agree with. Life becomes what it is based on the choices you make. So don’t just justify everything by pointing fingers at the situation on hand.
Solution: Encourage others to take responsibility for themselves. Empower them to rise above. Tell them instead:
“I know you’re so much better than this and I see you thriving soon. What can you do to allow that to happen? How can I journey with you?”
A little empathy will go a long way.
Journey with that in mind, always.
We made it!
And that’s one thing to celebrate about to begin with.
Indeed, 2020 was a tough year.
And that’s an understatement.
But come to think of it, it taught us a lot of valuable lessons in order to thrive next year.
Allow me to share with you these 21 tips to help you become your own #bestmeever in 2021:
– I mean, 2020 was a tough year but hey, try to acknowledge the good it may have brought to your life, whether it’s about having more time for yourself and your loved ones or finally being able to start on your passion project…choose to see reasons to be grateful for amidst adversity.
2. Let go of what didn’t work out.
– Past is past. Work with what you have here and now. It’s a starting point, not a dead end.
3. Take time to reflect.
– Pausing is powerful. That small gaps in between can determine the great things ahead thereafter.
4. Plan what’s next for you.
– Time to commit to the “next you”. How different will it be? What needs to be done to make it a reality? Jot them down and plot your timelines accordingly.
5. Indulge in self-care regularly.
– Your health and overall wellness are your greatest wealth. Take care of them well.
6. Cut ties with toxic people.
– Sanitize your space, guilt-free. You deserve that. Besides, you can always find other people who would really feel like family.Just open your mind and heart to the possibility of first setting yourself free.
7. Find yourself a job that you like.
– Like, really, really like. Go for something that goes beyond being an answer to your bills. It gets more fulfilling that way and wouldn’t feel like work at all.
8. Travel more often if you can.
– Allow yourself to learn about a new place (and yourself too) in the process as you grow in unison with the world around you. You are not meant to just settle in one place — you have the whole world to discover until you find yourself and own your chosen space.
9. Focus on what you can control.
– Don’t sweat the stuff that are beyond your control. Hope and pray for the best as you focus on prioritizing and acting on those within your sphere of influence.
10. Allow yourself to fall in love again.
– Whether it’s with yourself or with someone else, allow yourself to experience the kind of love you want and deserve. Life (and love) goes on.
11. Commit to a healthier lifestyle.
– Diet. Exercise. Detox. De-stress.
12. Learn a new skill.
– Now that you have more time on hand to reflect on the things you really want, time to stack on your skill set once more. What can help you thrive while feeling genuinely happy from within? Learn that.
13. Enjoy more home cooked meals.
– Made with love. And healthier too. Best enjoyed with your loved ones.
14. Spend more time with family.
– Family first. Everything else follows.
15. Schedule a “Me Time” daily.
-In between your busy schedules, inject quiet moments to reflect or relax by doing what you love e.g. playing with your pet, watching Netflix, gardening etc. Allow yourself to just be.
16. Be firm when you say “NO”.
– By doing so, you say yes to yourself and your growth. That’s called self-respect.
17. Try something new once in a while.
– Allow yourself to be uncomfortable as you learn and experience something unfamiliar. That will allow you to grow in the process.
18. Modify your spending habits.
-Check on your finances. Acknowledge what needs work. Create a new strategy. And monitor your spending wisely. Money isn’t everything but hey, you still have to save for the rainy days.
19. Invest in yourself more.
– How can you grow more in your current space? What needs more attention in your life now? Focus on that and nurture it. You are worth the investment.
20. Affirm yourself daily.
– Be your own greatest fan. Say all the things you need to hear without waiting for others to agree. You only have to listen to your own voice.
21 . Make your dreams come true.
– Pursue what makes you feel happy, complete and fulfilled. Don’t be afraid to start all over again. Your dreams were planted in your mind and heart for a reason. Time to bring that reason to life.
I hope these tips will allow you to thrive in 2021.
Looking forward to seeing you have your best year ever yet!
Wishing everyone of you a happy, meaningful and prosperous year ahead!
It’s our new normal.
Working from home, that is.
I remember the days when I will tell people to not bring their work at home so that they can actually enjoy themselves as they recharge after a long day,
But now, that’s not exactly possible since most of us are forced to stay at home and work from there simply because the entire pandemic has caused this massive shift geared towards working remotely when physical offices are not operating as usual.
At a glance it may seem like the perfect set up, however, it comes with a price:
Home isn’t where work is supposed to be. Haha!
I mean this applies to all people who have gotten used to working in an office or even remotely (coffee shops, beach etc.).
Home is basically, a sacred space. Too sacred to share with work.
But hey, we have to make it work right?
Take it from me. It was such a big adjustment going virtual with my coaching, talks, hosting and workshops — all done at the comforts of my own home simply because it’s better to be safe than sorry at the end of the day.
It was a struggle for me because there were a lot of distractions at home to begin with: Netflix, my bed, my pets, family members when they’re around…and the list goes on. They all just make me want to rest and do nothing the whole day. Which obviously, can’t be the case.
But by being intentional about it, I found my groove to beat laziness and improve my productivity in the process.
1.) Be in the intentional zone
– This one is a must: being intentional about being productive. I always believed that when there’s a will, there’s a way…and that magic begins when you really put your mind and heart into it. In my case, what I did though was positive reinforcement: what will be the value if I was able to work productively in my new space? How will it help me grow? What can I learn from this? All the answers I came up with inspired me to take on this new challenge while feeling good about it instead of coming from a space of resistance.
2.) Set up a happy work station
– Operative word here is happy guys. You have to be inspired in your own space so make sure that you design it like the way you want it. For me, I have two work stations, one beside the window when it’s raining, surrounded with plants, so that I can be one with nature as I draw inspiration from them and the other one, right beside my bed where I am facing a bunch of Unicorn stuff given to me through the years by random people, to inspire me to keep going and sparkle along the way when the going gets tough. Oh, and comfortable seats and back support help a lot. And please make your space distraction free and have nice ample calming music and room scents to set the mood. Helps a lot really. Haha!
3.) Plot and follow a strategic schedule
– You don’t want to get burned out at home while working, believe me. So best if you can come up with a strategic schedule that will allow you to have balance in your life e.g. 8 hour work schedule with ample breaks in between. Hard stop at 6pm daily and no work related calls or emails to be entertained there after, unless life changing. Work only 5 days a week and then choose to do the things you love on off days. What the pandemic taught me: work can wait, but my life can’t. Work doesn’t have to be done all at once. You have a choice to manage it well.
4.) Maximize your breaks fully
– Yes, you are still entitled to that. So you can breathe now. Haha! Kidding aside, just be mindful about them. Discipline is key. Example: you can choose to play one quick game on your phone for 15 mins then go back to work. Or have an amazing lunch by cooking what you love best. You can even spend it walking around and reflecting to clear your mind so that when you work once more on the tasks on hand you’ll be totally refreshed. Keep doing what you love in between and learn how to shift your attention accordingly to what is on schedule.
5.) Reward yourself at the end of each day
– What little surprise can you give yourself after work? A long hot bath? A nice dessert? Popcorn with your favorite movie? A massage? Remember that self-care is important when you want to be productive at home. You deserve to pamper yourself so make it a point to have something to look forward to at the end of each day. That will keep you going as you recharge and recalibrate for the days ahead.
At the end of the day guys, it’s all up to you on how you intend to make your current space (and routines) work for you. Being productive is a matter of choice so make sure to take that to heart at all times so that you still get the desired results you want, wherever you are at present..
Productivity isn’t about the amount of work accomplished — it’s about how you learned and grew while trying to make things work for you in your space, at your own pace.
So big or small, celebrate those milestones because they are part of your journey towards your own #bestmeever .
I am successful in my own way.
A long time ago, I have redefined success for myself.
Gone are the days that I have associated it with the position I had in the corporate setting, the money I was earning or the big time clients I had in my portfolio.
I realized that they didn’t really make me feel happy, complete and fulfilled at the end of the day– something I believe is key if you want to feel (and be) successful holistically.
So I redefined success accordingly when I finally embraced my calling of becoming a Global Master Coach:
Success for me is being able to do all the things I want, with the time, resources, energy and means to do so.
Putting it clearly into context, now I get to do the things I love (coaching, speaking, hosting, writing) and earn from them, while enjoying what life has to offer in between without feeling guilty (traveling, working out, Netflix hehe etc.)
I realized that for the longest time I placed myself inside a box, based on what others thought would be best for me, to which I initially agreed to at my expense.
Stepping outside of my comfort zone demarcated that first step to living a successful life for me.
And since then, people have been asking me what’s my secret to being successful.
To be candid about it, apart from the conscious choices I make every single day, I practice these 5 habits daily to keep me in that zone. Allow me to share these with you accordingly, some of which I believe I have in common with other successful people worldwide:
Not everyone is given a chance to wake up the next day. So best to jumpstart every single day with gratefulness. What can you be thankful about? Big or small, allow yourself to start with gratitude because as you count your blessings consciously and consistently, you will never have a bad day in your life. You may want to express this via a prayer, self-talk or through journaling, whatever you’re most comfortable with. In my case, I start my day with a prayer of thanks giving followed by journaling.
2. I affirm myself
I am a big fan of self-affirmations. I always start my day facing the mirror upon getting up and engage myself in positive, empowering self-talk. I remind myself my value, my worth, my purpose and that all that I am now and all that I will ever be, is something I truly deserve, that I will always be more than enough and that the best is yet to come. Allowing myself to be at my peak state allows me to become more energized and inspired all through out the day, resulting in greater productivity and better results.
3. I practice intentional living
Every single day, I set my intentions: what I want to happen, what I want to do, what results I am looking at. Note that I did not use the word “need” simply because I want to always come from a space of inspiration and not of obligation. I find joy when I am able to create and stick to a routine that works best for me at that particular point in time, whether it includes a quick escape out of town or coffee with friends in between deadlines set. I don’t feel guilty at all because I consciously choose to prioritize not only what I need to deliver for my work but also to give what is due to myself intentionally.
4. I indulge in self-care regularly
Putting myself last is one of the biggest mistakes I had before that led me to experiencing burn outs and stress among others. So nowadays, I incorporate strategic self-care breaks in between just to pamper myself and let myself be during days when I feel like totally doing nothing. Trust me guys, it’s ok. You deserve it.
5. I practice hard stops
I intentionally stop working by 7pm. If it’s not life changing, I don’t attend to it until the next day. Why? Because work can wait, but my life can’t. I recognize the value of taking good care of myself and focusing on de-stressing after a long day and freeing my weekends so I can spend it beautifully and meaningfully with loved ones or simply recharging and recalibrating myself. After all, what is key here is that I am more than just a Global Master Coach — I am my own person. My #bestmeever outside of what I do.
So there, I hope these help you as you embark on your own journey towards your personal success.
Remember, you create the life that you want with the habits that you have.
Choose to practice each one wisely.
It sucks to be taken for granted.
I have experienced it time and again before when people will consistently ask me for favors and expect them all to be granted. Name it: Family, friends, special someone, work mates, random people even!
I never failed them though. By choice.
Thinking that all those will strengthen the relationships I had with them.
I gave my all. Because I felt that was what was due.
What they deserved.
In the process though, I forgot a very important thing:
To consider what I deserved.
And that struck me hard when the time came that I was left alone hanging.
Uhuh. The people whom I thought would support me in my own journey like I did with theirs, were nowhere to be found.
Or had excuses left and right.
And that is one eye opening experience that taught me a very valuable lesson I hold close to my heart up to this day:
To not allow other people to take me for granted ever again.
Let me share with you some tips which can help you protect your space and not ending up feeling used in the process of being in a relationship (of whatever kind, really) with anyone:
1. Set healthy boundaries
You know yourself better: what you can and what you cannot give. Don’t pressure yourself trying to please others at the expense of losing yourself in the process. You’re not obligated in any way to be everyone’s savior so don’t beat yourself up when you turn down favors. That way, you are respecting your own space as you learn how not to be taken for granted.
2. Say NO openly
Every time you say NO to a person who’s been asking you for favors left and right, you say yes to yourself and your growth. Don’t be shy and never feel awkward for standing your ground. You deserve it.
3. Manage your availability
No, you don’t have to be readily available for other people 24/7 simply because you also need to spend time by yourself and focus on your growth. Allow them to respect that and be firm with it. You don’t have to be at anyone’s beck and call. So stop enslaving yourself in the process.
4. Lay down your expectations
Any relationship is a two-way street. It must be mutually beneficial. You have to be clear with your intentions. Is there anything the other person can do for you in return? Are you looking forward to anything at all from the relationship that you have with the person asking for the favor? Ask. Tell. You deserve to be recognized and heard as well.
5. Choose your self-worth over anything else
Don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel that you matter simply out of convenience or need. You’re more than that! If the other person isn’t on the same page as you are, walk away with self-respect intact. Your self-worth matters more.
At the end of the day, give yourself the same care and attention that you’re giving others. So never take yourself for granted in the process of wanting to feel that sense of belongingness or get that validation.
Because truth be told, those can be found inside you.
You just have to inquire within.
Live it out.
And always say to yourself: Me, too.
Ever had those moments when you felt overly exhausted? Physically and mentally drained? Irritable? Lost your spark?
If yes, you might be experiencing a burn out.
This is quite common nowadays amidst the pandemic, especially if you continuously push yourself relentlessly beyond your limits and forget about your own needs and wants to make things work for you, the way you want them to.
In the process though, the importance of self-care (which I personally advocate for) is overlooked in exchange of one’s pursuit of his/her goal coming from too much grit and at times, desperation.
Take it from me guys. I have experienced it before. And I spent two weeks in isolation (and in bed most of the time) because I just didn’t want to move at all!
Yup, it was that bad.
And I perfectly remember what triggered it: I was working my ass off crazily, managing multiple big projects then for my ad agency all at the same time. I remember being so hot -headed that time and I used to snap at anyone who distracted me from what I was doing. Huge amounts were at stake with the deals I had then. I totally lost count of the number of meals missed, occasions skipped and hours of sleep lost.
My goal then: to earn a living.
And then before I knew it, I found myself spiralling down into a deep black hole which made me hate my work (and myself) in the process. Still I remembered asking myself:
Am I burned out or just being lazy?
I already knew the answer within but it took an early morning surprise to make me realize that I wasn’t ok.
At 4:30am, I went down to get water from the fridge and suddenly I collapsed. Next thing I knew I was at the hospital and the doctors were telling me to rest for two weeks because I was experiencing over fatigue and total burn out.
My mind was racing back then, worried about my deadlines. But the next few days changed that.
The pain and the helplessness from being unable to move made me realize a very important lesson I carry to this day which invalidates my shallow concerns: the importance of self-care.
Work can wait. But my life can’t.
Eye-opening two weeks indeed. But like I said, it needed to happen so as to prevent me from killing myself as I worked. Blame the workaholic in me or the part of me that wanted to be validated and rewarded then. Operative word is “then” because now, as I type this, I have long put that version of me to rest. Oh yes, and I am at peace.
Ok, so I might have scared you now in the process. Lucky for you though, I would like to share with you some tips on how you can actually prevent getting burned out at work (or in life in general):
Ok, it’s not exactly healthy to work and just sit 8 hours straight in front of your laptop. Not only will it strain your eyes, hurt your mind and affect your posture, it’s actually counter productive. So be sure to have pocket breaks in between. Add 15-minuter pauses scattered all through out the day (excluding lunch or dinner breaks ok, which should be longer in the first place) and just let yourself be. Stretch. Read a chapter of your book, walk around for a while. Anything that will allow you to break the state and recalibrate in the process.
2. Be mindful of your body and mental language
Ok, you have to pay attention to what your mind and body are telling you. Listen intently. Good thing is that they give out clear signs if they need to have a break from it all: scattered or blank thoughts, feeling tired, having extremely poor posture, among others. Allow yourself to do just that. Remember, if you insist in pushing forward, it wouldn’t do you any good because they just won’t cooperate anymore. Waste of effort so give yourself the time off you want and deserve.
3. Always come from a space of love
In each and everything that you do, add love. Find something you’re grateful for in your current space. Show love and appreciation there after. Love makes any task easier (and at times, more bearable). As the saying goes, it’ll never feel like work at all! But here’s my caveat: don’t forget to give yourself the kind of loving you willingly give to your work or passion project. Uhuh, you matter more.
4. Live healthily and intentionally
It’s always important to nourish your mind and body accordingly. Create a regular routine that will allow you to exercise, eat healthily (don’t forget to add fruits and veggies to your diet ok?) and get enough sleep. In between, find time to meditate and just disconnect with the outside world as you reconnect with your self within. By being intentional about your self-care you are able to cope better with the demands at work (and of life too).
5. Manage your self-talk
By this time, you know the value of personal affirmations. However, in this case, burn out isn’t exactly something you want to own. So instead of saying “I am burned out and I want to just die” (ok, exaggeration intended for emphasis haha!), say “I FEEL tired and I JUST NEED to rest so I can be better next time’. By not using “I AM” you are separating the toxic situation from your entire being, allowing you to refocus on what can be done to resolve this external factor that you have control over on. Remember, you are NEVER your burned out version, so don’t ever own it. Allow yourself to recalibrate in your own space, at your own pace as you practice genuine self-compassion so that you can become your own #bestmeever.
So there, I hope these help you how not to get burnt out at work and realize at the same time that there’s life after work (or whatever is keeping you too busy to just live!).
And that life, will always be far better than you imagined, only if you allowed yourself to just be.
Sleep is such a beautiful thing.
It allows us to fully recover after a long day.
It’s not just about getting that much needed rest; it’s all about being able to recalibrate our body, mind and soul in the process so we may be ready to start all over again at our best the next day.
Sounds divine and easy, right?
Not quite though.
MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION:
How do you sleep when you’re stressed and anxious?
Is that even possible, you may ask.
Which, if I may say, is common nowadays amidst the pandemic.
Let’s face it, it’s not easy living with fear about the uncertain future that we have.
Seeing a lot of rising infected cases, businesses closing, people losing jobs daily while becoming prisoners of our own homes one way or another, are contributing to the stress on our mental health.
And the thing about it is that: we tend to reflect before bed time, so you can imagine the experience all together.
Instead of finally enjoying your quiet, comfortable space, your mind races with noisy thoughts about various things and situations, most of which beyond your control.
And guess what: you indulge in them, and allow yourself to waddle in worry instead of journeying towards Lala land.
I can totally relate to this when the pandemic started and when community quarantine measures are changed every now and then. The agony of waiting anxiously, the stress involved when trying to assess my next steps and the worry that goes for those who will be greatly affected once more, myself included — all these and more have become so familiar to me.
Trust me, the implications of having lack of peaceful, luxurious sleep are definite deal breakers — having a bad mood, feeling groggy, lessened productivity, slow processing — just to name a few, all of which detrimental to you becoming your own #bestmeever .
Until, I have finally decided to do something about it.
1. Disconnect Intentionally
Uhuh. Take this to heart please: there’s life outside of social media. Outside of Netflix. Outside of work. Outside of toxic relationships. And the life that stems genuinely from a secured space within, is the best one there is. Take that much needed time off from all things you’ve gotten used to (and those which triggered you) and allow yourself to journey within at the end of the day. Remember, it’s all about you this time around.
2. Write Down Your Thoughts
I swear. Journaling can do wonders for you. When you write down your thoughts you are able to process them better. Pour out your emotions, voice out your concerns. And allow probable solutions to pop up. Just keep on writing — it helps declutter your mind in the process and allow you to understand and accept your current space. Oh and don’t focus too much on your writing style. Consider this as a mental dump. So anything goes. Words, scribbles, drawings…whatever works for you.
3. Meditate
Don’t underestimate the value of taking a step back and reflecting about your current space. The key here is to find a comfortable space (I like surrounding myself with pillows), set the right mood by playing soft, instrumental music, having nice dim lighting (I use my blue light when I meditate), use scented oils and allow yourself to just be present in the moment. As you meditate, be mindful about the things you can control and the those you can’t. After which, follow the golden rule — if it doesn’t help you grow, let go. By calming your anxiety and consciously reducing your stress, you prepare yourself for a good night’s sleep.
This is my favorite part after meditating. I get to see things clearly so appreciating what went right during the day becomes easier. Simple joys become larger than life and significant events in the past which bring about feelings of joy and happiness come to surface with this conscious act. I stare at the ceiling while hugging my pillows as I do this and I noticed that I tend to squeeze them harder when I truly let gratitude flow through my body freely. Oh and yes, I notice that I actually smile a lot in the process.
5. Visualize Your Ideal Tomorrow
This goes hand in hand with counting your blessings. When you’re finally in a happy and grateful state, it will be easier for you to picture out the ideal outcome for the next day. The thing here to remember though is apart from just creating a mental picture, consider “feeling” the entire experience — what emotions do you think you will have if your ideal outcome materializes? Allow yourself to be in that exact moment so that you have something to look forward to and that you will be able to sleep better on a happy note.
I hope that I was able to help you out guys who want to sleep better when stressed out and anxious.
At the end of the day, best thing to remember is that: a good night’s sleep is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. Know that you deserve it and that you are very much worthy to enjoy each and every moment as you doze off to dreamland.
So don’t let anything (or anyone) make you think otherwise.
Sleep tight, beautiful.
TOOT. TOOT.
Oh no, not again.
And I was right. 3 new messages. From different people suffering from anxiety and stress from the COVID19 Pandemic.
Hearing my phone’s notification after a long day at work (I already coached 3 regular clients before that), admittedly I got rattled.
Especially when I just got off the shower, thinking that I will be able to call it a day. But the upon seeing the messages, I knew that was a far shot.
Don’t panic.
That was all I can tell myself.
But deep inside, I knew I that was the exact state I was in.
Blame it on the long day I had or on the even longer months in community quarantine, suddenly I just found myself in a very dark mood.
Ok guys, even Unicorns have bad hair days. I guess today was mine. Haha! Peace!
“Lord, why did all these have to happen? Why do we all have to suffer?”
These were the questions I asked myself in frustration. I caught myself just in time and apologized immediately to HIM. Sorry. Me and my bad mood.
And then suddenly, as if on cue, I was given a flash back of why I felt miserable to begin with: two days before, I encountered a troll in my Amazon account, my credit card got hacked, my Amazon seller’s account got blocked. To add to that: I spilled food on my newly changed sheets, I double booked 2 new clients which made one cancel, I overlooked an international podcast interview schedule with a digital influencer from the US. And then I just came back home, tired from coaching 3 clients. The last few days were really, really long, stressful and hard.
All I wanted was to rest.
But with the 3 messages which just came in, I knew I couldn’t in the next hour, or two, or so.
Don’t get me wrong guys, I love what I do. Really. But I am also sure that you’ve had those days which just don’t seem to work out as planned. Today was one of those days.
I stared at the messages for a while, took a deep breath and decided to go down and take a walk first to shrug off all strands of negativity that have found their way to me.
And in 5 minutes, I was able to put on my shoes, my face mask and my face shield…and upon doing so, I knew I was ready so I went out and pressed DOWN on the elevator.
“So fitting to my mood”, I said to myself almost sarcastically while laughing at how dry my humor was. Geez. So not me on a regular day!
I started minding my own business, admittedly a bit anxious at the thought that I have to reply to the 3 messages that I received in a while. I didn’t want to short change them so I was doing my best to psyche myself in the process.
My thoughts were suddenly disrupted as the elevator door opened and an old guy in a wheel chair being pushed by a little girl entered.
The guy was scowling, his forehead creased heavily. His eyes cut through mine like daggers. If I hadn’t known better, I was guessing that he was gritting his teeth underneath his mask.
I guess I’m not the only one in a bad mood I told myself as I stared back and then I noticed something.
The guy was crippled. Had a big cast on his leg which he kept on rubbing and complaining about to his younger companion who was totally clueless on how to react.
My heart went out to these two people immediately.
My mind though, went elsewhere. Back in time. Several years back to be exact.
I remember that day when I had to rush to the hospital because my Mom was confined—again. Overwhelmed with work, graduate school and other matters in between during that time, I could barely focus while I tried to listen to the doctor explaining to me the procedures which needed to be done on my Mom. I just zoned out. In my head, I was no longer able to decipher what the doctor was saying since I was mentally computing all the expenses to be incurred and the pending workload I have. Not being able to take it anymore, I decided to get myself some fresh air, practically running towards the elevator while trying to make sense of everything that was happening. “This can’t be happening. Why me?!” I muttered under my breath. . At that very moment, I hated my life. I felt that I had the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. Yup, I had all those drama when I was younger. Pre-life coach days. Hahaha! Staring at the elevator, I pressed the “down” button. What is it about elevator buttons and my moods? Hahaha! When the door opened, I saw some people inside with mixed emotions on their faces. Misery does love company I said to myself. Welcome to my pity party. As the elevator doors opened on the next floor, I was suddenly startled by a very perky and happy tone.
“Beep, beep, coming through!” I looked up and saw a middle aged man on a wheel chair. Assisted by a nurse, he had no arms and legs. He greeted us: “Hello everyone! My apologies, my “car” takes up too much space!” then he gave a wide smile. (Original statement: Hello everyone! Sorry malaki masyado ang kotse ko, malaki sa space!) I couldn’t help but force a smile when his eyes caught mine. He winked just before the door opened again and then he said: “Bye guys. All will be well! Carry on! Beep, Beep! Coming through.” (Original statment: Bye po! Kapit lang, ok lang yan! Kaya niyo yan! ) I was taken aback as I walked slowly out of the elevator as well, still staring at the man. Here I was complaining about my situation when in fact, I am still so blessed in so many ways than one. I had my family, my work, my post-grad studies among others.
I had complete sets of arms and legs. I was healthy. And yet, I thought I was in deep shit. But that man made me realize I was not. If he can be happy, why can’t I? Yep. All will be well. And I must carry on. So I turned around, walked towards the elevator once more and pressed the “UP” button.
And went up to my mom and stayed with her, with my heart full and me, overly grateful.
Up to this day.
_____________________________
“Ding, Dong” (elevator sound, for the lack of exact sound)
The door finally opened to the ground floor and I let the little girl turn her back as she pulled the wheel chair out, with the old guy scowling at me still.
What I did next though, surprised me.
“Ingat and enjoy po!” as I gave him my biggest mega-watt smile even though I know he couldn’t see it through my mask and face shield combined. I silently hoped my eyes sparkled bright enough though. (Translation: Take care and enjoy yourself!)
His reaction validated they did.
The old guy looked startled. I thought he would get angry as I started to prepare to get off the elevator myself while holding the door for them, bracing myself for insults and the like.
And then a miracle happened.
His brows straightened and eyes softened. And then muttered “Thank You” under his breath.
I almost forgot that I was supposed to take a walk because I actually pressed the “UP” button once more in the elevator.
And as the door started to close, I saw the old guy take a quick glance back in my direction.
I knew from that time on that I managed to change a life.
Like he did, unexpectedly, with mine.
And as the elevator went up, I was reminded this beautiful thought while feeling excited and inspired to answer the messages sent initially to me for help:
I will rise above these challenges.
I am actually blessed in so many ways: I am thriving in my practice, my family and I are healthy, I am given multiple life changing opportunities globally and I am dearly supported and loved by people who matter to me. I am given the power, the position and influence to help others. This is my life’s purpose. And I chose to live it, every single day, every single way, no matter what. And I am beyond grateful.
Thank you for reminding me that I am just tired. But I am damn lucky and blessed.
And as the doors opened once more to my floor, I took inspiration from the lines of that miraculous guy who thought me a very important life lesson years ago, made relevant today:
Beep, beep. I am coming through.
Inbox, opened.
And then I added my usual Unicorn and Rainbow icons at the end of my message.
I knew then that all will be well.
We all had those moments.
When we wished that we were someone else.
I vividly remembered those days when I came from that exact space. That space filled with discontent and unhappiness. All I knew back then was that I wanted to switch places with people whom I thought, were living the life I’ve always wanted for myself.
I saw them as “somebody better” . The irony of embracing that notion was that though they inspired me, they also brought out one of my biggest enemies from within then: my own insecurities.
For as long as I can remember, I would continuously ask myself then: “Can I actually make it like them?” “Am I worthy to be in the same space?” “Am I good enough?” All these and more kept ringing in the head of my younger, impulsive self who was coming from a space of wanting to prove himself to the rest of the world.
Because I was brought up that way. That I should act like this. That I should be like this. That I should follow and conform no matter what.
And that was one of the biggest misconceptions I had while growing up:
That I needed to follow a certain standard to be accepted.
That I needed to fit into a mould that “worked”.
That I needed to be that “somebody better.”
But you know what, the Universe has its own way to make you realize things fully.
In the most unforgettable manner, if I may add.
Let’s have a quick throwback first. Here’s a pic of me taken during the launch of the first book my #bestmeever book series in 2017. It actually demarcated the beginning of my gradual shift to life coaching, as I chose to slowly turn my back from a lucrative advertising and marketing career to finally pursue what makes my heart skip a beat. It was the time when I fully committed to choosing my self-growth and happiness.
During that time though, I had one person in mind to model. That “somebody better”.
This man has been one of my inspirations alongside Oprah Winfrey and Ellen DeGeneres — my source of motivation then to work on myself and jumpstart my career as a life coach. I remember the times I would read articles about him, watch his videos and imagine myself BEING LIKE HIM.
Yes, that deserved an emphasis.
Because that was my space before. To be the next Tony Robbins. Because I felt and thought that he, was “somebody better” in my vocabulary: the way he speaks, the way he inspires, the way he changes lives in an instant. Globally. And people who have heard me in my talks have told me that I had the same vibe.
And I decided to take his route. To speak to inspire. Write more books. Coach world wide. Inspire, touch and change lives.
Everything I always wanted to do and more. For a time, he was my own #bestmeever .
…until the Universe showed me otherwise.
Fast forward to 2019 when I was invited to be part of the elite roster to represent the Philippines in the first ever Freedom Summit, where more than 50 notable speakers from all over the world will participate.
I vividly remember my conversation with Ricky Shetty, the organizer who was a co-speaker of mine in #TEDxMagsaysayBlvd. I was telling him how grateful and honored I was since that was technically my first international speaking engagement.
Me (excitedly): Thanks Ricky for choosing me! #RoadToTonyRobbins !
His answer, changed my life there after.
Ricky: No Myke, it’s #RoadToTHEMykeCelis !
I was totally numb and speechless as something within me just clicked.
All my life, I have been wanting to be “somebody better”, to be someone else.
But here’s a person of great stature and influence, who recognized my value for who and what I was. As is.
And that very moment, I knew I had set myself free.
From all my expectations. From the mould I made up in my head.
From the person I thought I wanted to be. From the perception that the society envisioned me to be.
From all my self-doubts that hindered me from becoming the person I am meant to be.
I just had to accept the fact that I have a different journey. And that’s ok.
To have my own destiny.
One that is based on the conscious choices I make every single day.
Every single time I choose myself and what makes me feel happy, complete and fulfilled, I allow myself to be a step closer to what I am really meant to be and inspire others to do the same.
No, not another Tony Robbins. Though it will be an honor to stand and speak alongside my younger self’s hero. And thank him for being an inspiration.
But “somebody better” :
My own #bestmeever .
#unicorning all over.
In my own way. Owning my space. With all that I am and with all that I have.
This is my journey.
I am Coach Myke Celis.
