Growth is a matter of choice.
And that’s a fact.
It’s all about making the most of each and every experience that you have and turning them into stepping stones to help you reach your biggest goals.
Though quite challenging at times, especially when life throws you a curve ball and knocks you off track.
However, what I have realized based on actual experience, is that stressing over things beyond my control or complaining over not so good results, won’t really change a thing.
Both bring my own growth to a stand still.
Take this time to quickly reflect:
What did you stress about recently?
How do you think that hindered your growth?
Was it about a missed opportunity?
A personal argument?
Hey, before we even continue because this list can go on for sure, please allow yourself to breathe.
It’s ok. It’s not the end of the world.
And you reading this is a testament of just that.
You still have a chance to make things right and grow in the process.
It’s not just about going with the flow at all times. You also have to be very much aware and clear of where you want to go, what you want to achieve and how you intend to make things happen for you. Don’t ever view planning as a waste of time. It’s always best that you come prepared so regardless of the results you may have there after, at least you gave yourself a fighting chance. Take pictures. List them down. Draw charts. Brainstorm with others. Do what works for you in order for you to fully visually and embrace your journey towards growth. Remember though: all these will only work if you stay committed to yourself and your goals, no matter what happens.
2. Listen intentionally without judgments.
Truth be told, you actually learn a lot when you listen. Be humble enough to accept the fact that you don’t know everything and that everyone you meet has an important message to share to you. Do away with your biases and come from a space of openness as you listen for what you need to hear, and not be drowned by what you want for validation. Shameless plug: check out my newly launched #BestMeEver Podcast for things you need to hear in order for you to reflect and recalibrate fully and become your own #bestmeever .
3. Ask questions. Even uncomfortable ones if relevant.
The only way you will know is when you ask. Never hold back when asking questions. For as long as your intentions are clear and you ask them respectfully, it’s ok. My profession as a coach entails me to ask questions that may trigger others but that’s part of my job: to bring awareness and understanding of one’s space through powerful questions. Who knows? The growth you may be looking for is just an answer away.
4. Explore more.
Don’t be afraid to take risks. Outside of your comfort zone is where true growth lies. Be curious. Be brave. Allow your beautiful child-like curiosity to come to surface. You will be surprised as to what awaits you on the other side of the fence. And yes, at times, the grass is greener there, with tall, vibrant trees to match.
5. Surround yourself with people who inspire you.
You become the 5 people you spend most of your time with so make sure you choose the best ones for you. Cut off any toxic relationship and focus on nurturing ones that genuinely support your growth and challenges you to become better in the process. Seek a mentor among your inner circle and learn openly from each and everyone you choose to surround yourself with. At the end of the day though, make sure that you guys are all in alignment as to what you want to achieve and how you can help each other do just that.
The journey towards growth is never easy but will always be worth it.
One step at a time. One day at a time.
And you will always be, regardless of how big or small your progress is, more than enough.
Your words are powerful.
Bundle them with your beliefs and they become unstoppable.
It is important to know though that your success is very much dependent on how you choose the things you say to your self and others and how strongly you believe each one of them.
Yep, your own words can make or break you in the process.
Here’s the thing: sometimes it’s quite hard to spot what isn’t exactly working for us simply because we have gotten used to saying it time and again in the past.
Default mode as they say.
However, default mode isn’t always right.
Take this time to reflect: what statements have you found yourself using time and again when you’re in a seemingly difficult situation?
What results do you get from using them so often?
I think it’s safe to say that more often than not, we tend to gravitate towards using statements that make us feel safe or ones which make us feel in control or comfortable.
But come to think about it now: what about the big opportunities you missed just because you were afraid to take the risk?
My dear, by now you know that success demands you to step outside of your comfort zone as you take that leap of faith towards becoming the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
And you’ll only be able to do that by becoming more mindful of the statements you use, whether towards others or to yourself.
Age is but a number. And there’s no deadline when it comes to pursuing one’s dreams. It all depends on how committed you are to it and how willing you are to go the extra mile no matter how long and whatever it takes. Yes. You can change careers at 40. Learn to utilize a new technology at 50. Become an influencer at 60. The possibilities are endless, so why limit them?
2. “I’m very busy.”
Fact: you can always find time for things and people that really matter to you. Work is not life. Same goes for your school stuff. Allow yourself to make time for opportunities that scare you but are very much in alignment with your goals. Drop the excuse and start embracing what is right in front of you simply because, your time is now.
3. “I’m not that type of person.”
It’s easier to say that we are not for something which we feel will make us most uncomfortable. But what if that very thing or situation is the one we need to grow? You’ve probably heard said it yourself: I am not into sports. I don’t like poetry. I am not techie. And the list goes on. However, looking at these now, what do you think is the value in at least trying? Maybe there’s a silver lining there waiting to be discovered only if you allowed yourself to.
4. “It already happened before.”
Well unless it’s a controlled experiment and you do the same things , the same way and the same time over and over again, then you can’t be really sure of the outcome. Never try to predict the future because you can’t. You deserve to take that risk and try once more because who knows, success may just be right around the corner. All you have to do is allow yourself to learn and grow from each experience, good or bad, so that you can use the wisdom gained moving forward.
5. “I can’t.”
You are just one letter away from changing your life for the better. Don’t let your fear of failing, being rejected or judged stop you from at least giving yourself that fighting chance to take up space and chase your dreams. Remember: things may be hard at first but with consistency and commitment, you eventually get to grow and flow in harmony with them.
So which of these statements resonate with you?
At least now with awareness, you are able to curate the things you say to yourself and others.
Choose your words wisely.
Your happiness and success are at stake.
Patience is a virtue.
Perhaps one of the most popular quotes in this lifetime.
It does hit hard in a fast-pace environment we have gotten used to through the years.
Ever felt you have so little time on your hands?
Barely enough for you to enjoy life fully, forcing you to rush everything.
However, life was never meant to be lived in a hurry.
Each one of us has a unique journey, a different timeline towards becoming our own #bestmeever.
And we must embrace that whole heartedly.
Only then can we fully appreciate the space we are in.
When we allow ourselves to take up space as we are.
So take this time now to reflect: when was the last time you became impatient over something?
Waiting for important results?
A long-awaited trip?
A much-deserved promotion?
Someone changing for the better?
Whatever has caused you to become highly frustrated over the seemingly long delays , please take note that if you look at those things closely, they are beyond your control. So yeah, no point of stressing over them, simply because doing so won’t even change a thing.
I know that probably knocked some sense to you and hopefully as I share this blog post, the entire experience of reading through it changes you for the better.
You already know that it will take some time for something you truly want to happen. So why constantly stress yourself on focusing how long it will take? Remember, the waiting time does not shorten itself based on how much you stress over it. It gets shorter when you leave it as is and go on with your life, as life does not technically wait for anyone. Don’t waste the chance to grow in harmony with it.
2. Divert your attention towards things (and people) you love
Waiting for the next big thing for you does not mean your life must come to a pause too. Consider this as your much needed time off to focus on the people and things you love most. Spend time with your family. Play with your pets. Pursue that passion project. Remember, you become more patient with things (and people) that make your heart smile and feel good about yourself as you enjoy the moment with them.
3. Anticipate the value of having to patiently wait
Humility. Commitment. Compassion. Hope. Some of the important things you learn along the way. Embracing the waiting game whole heartedly allows you to see the value of being patient with yourself and your own journey. When you see something as a growing experience, you allow yourself to be more patient towards it.
4. Take time to upskill
You only stop growing when you allow yourself to be held back by the circumstances surrounding you. So choose to continuously invest on yourself and your growth, so that instead of stressing over things beyond your control, you get to channel your energy and focus to making yourself better. The waiting game then becomes a springboard for your own breakthroughs and success.
5. Reframe your mindset
Greatness takes time. It will all be worth it. I am learning and growing as I wait. Time is on my side. Trusting myself and the process. Just some of the things you can take to heart as you view your situation differently. Mind you though, you get real results when you actually believe these thoughts fully.
Whatever space you’re in now, I hope after reading this, you become more patient towards yourself and your journey.
Know that you are exactly where you’re meant to be.
And you will always be just in time.
Just be patient.
Time is gold.
Indeed.
So how many of you grew up seeing that quote posted on your class room wall?
Or as a favorite answer back then when asked about one’s favorite saying?
Can’t blame them, guys. It’s indeed a very powerful saying.
So much truth to it.
After all, everything else will be meaningless : your wealth, your health, your accomplishments and all other things you hold close to your heart if you don’t have time to spare to enjoy them.
The question now is: how do you spend yours?
Reflect accordingly: where do you devote much of your time to?
While you’re at it, ask yourself this: where do you think you need to focus on instead?
Tough decision, if I may say, if you’ve already gotten used to doing the same thing over and over again.
But hey: life isn’t supposed to be lived in a routinary manner.
You deserve more.
To enjoy life to the fullest as you become the person you’re meant to be.
Your own #bestmeever .
And the only way to achieve that is to find time for things which really matter in the long run.
Mind you, regular is relative so it’s up to you if you want to do it on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.
Start with what can be comfortable for you then gradually improve on the frequency and quality of your focused moments.
Anyway, here they are:
1.) Time to go offline
Unplug to recharge. This simply means taking a mandatory break from social media. You don’t need to wait for a special occasion like the Holy Week or a life-changing event to make that hard stop. Don ‘t be afraid to miss out on what’s going on in the digital space as you allow yourself to embrace the reality in front of you. Life outside of social media will always be more meaningful and beautiful. Trust me, while I utilize my social media platforms for my coaching practice , I mindfully ensure that I do hard stops at the end of the day as I lay my phone and laptop to rest. That allows me to do my meditations and become 100% present in my current space.
2.) Time for self-care
I have always been a very strong advocate for wellness and wellbeing. So it’s very important for me (and for you dear reader as well) to always find time to take care and pamper yourself. You deserve it. It doesn’t have to be grand always, but hey if you have extra to splurge on, why not? What I am saying is that self-care can be in different forms such as having breaks in between your work schedule, staying away from toxic people or treating yourself to a massage. Remember: it’s your responsibility to make yourself feel a little bit better. On my end, I make sure to reward myself at the end of each and every single day, no matter how it went. And by rewarding I mean whether getting my favorite chocolate or allowing myself to watch an extra episode on Netflix. After all, making it through a day is an achievement by itself.
3.) Time for self-improvement
Question: when was the last time you invested on yourself and your growth? You are the best investment you can ever make so always find time to learn a new skill or get to know yourself on a deeper level. Never be too busy with work that you forget how important it is to fuel your own growth, whether that means embarking on a self-discovery journey with a professional or widening the skill set on your resume. Go for what you think will benefit you in the long run, inside and outside of work. I always put much value on learning continuously so this year, I am planning to go back to graduate school to study once more…after 10 years since I finished my Masters degree in UP Diliman. Excited though for this new adventure.
4.) Time to build and nurture relationships
No man is an island and your relationship with others matter as much as your relationship with yourself. So always find time to be with people you love and make each and every moment meaningful and memorable. Even at your busiest days, find time to at least text or call to remind them that they are thought about despite the craziness of your schedule. Open yourself up to possibilities of building your network also as you meet other people and build new relationships which can be of great value in the long run.
5.) Having your own ME Time
Before anything else, stop judging yourself. Having your own ME Time is never selfish. It’s a must. Never let anything or anyone make you feel otherwise. You, as much as everyone else, deserve to give yourself undivided attention and 100% love. How you want to spend your time for yourself is truly up to you. Whether you choose to meditate, travel, visit a new place, pursue a hobby — do what makes your heart and soul smile happily. I make my evenings as my regular ME Time, where I take off my coaching hat and just let myself be. And I tell you, it’s one of the best ways to rejuvenate at the end of a long day as I cuddle with my fur babies and watch my favorite series on Netflix while chatting with friends and loved ones on the side.
I hope reading this helps you realize what you’ve been missing out on your schedule.
One thing to take to heart today:
If it matters, make quality time for it.
Because you can.
Delayed, not denied.
This is your sign. So yes, you can relax now.
I know that sometimes when things don’t go as planned, we tend to feel stressed and overwhelmed.
That’s a normal reaction.
However, the key here is to not dwell on things beyond your control.
Yes, time to grow up honey.
For all you know, it’s not really as bad as it seems.
Greatness takes time so maybe the delays are merely preparing you for your best days ahead.
You’re still on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
You just have to trust yourself and the process more.
I know the waiting game can such be a painful, anxiety-filled experience at times.
Been there. Been that.
But still, here I am. Yup, I survived that. And so much more.
Fact: You can’t control everything and that’s perfectly fine. Be comfortable with your current space. It is what it is. And there’s a beautiful reason behind it. You just have to be patient enough to uncover the real purpose behind the delays. Give yourself that chance to grow by embracing what is here and now with little or no resistance at all. You are exactly where .you’re meant to be
2. Intentionally seek for silver linings
There’s always something good, somewhere, I always tell myself when I feel stuck or impatient. Here’s the thing: you can only discover the blessings in disguise when you no longer let yourself be overwhelmed by your own disappointments . Taking that to heart, come from a space of possibilities as you look at the delays that are happening in your life now. What are they teaching you? What better outcomes can they lead to? Reflect.
3. Be comfortable with pausing
Here’s the thing: even if you’re not moving forward, even if you stay still, you’re still growing. There is so much beauty in letting yourself pause as you reflect and recalibrate so you can be in full alignment with what and who you’re meant to be. Delays give you that beautiful opportunity to reconnect within and realize what really matters more in the long run. Make your pause purposeful.
4. Invest on yourself and your growth
Even during delays, life goes on. So can you. So make the most of the waiting time by working on yourself, whether you take personal development courses, level up your fitness game or upskill, what is important here is that you strive to become better so that regardless of what awaits you moving forward, you’ve still grown. You will always be the best investment you can make so take delays as your sign to make yourself even better.
5. Count your blessings
Delays can mean that you’re actually working on something bigger, something greater. Don’t let the long wait make you forget how blessed you are: you made it this far, you have new insights to help you move forward, and you still have a choice on how to go about your next chapter accordingly. These are just some of the things that you may want to acknowledge and focus on alongside many others that have inspired you through the years. Even as you wait, you are still blessed. Remember that.
Delays will always be there but please remember that: so is hope.
Hold on to what truly matters most:
that no matter how long, and whatever it takes, whatever is meant for you will find its way.
Fact: Things don’t always happen as planned.
Simply because not everything is under your control.
Yup, it’s one of those hard truths that you must learn to accept. Part of adulting.
Change is inevitable. But we must not be afraid of it.
Nor must we beat ourselves up for feeling disappointed.
Sounds familiar?
Now I want you to quickly reflect: when was the last time you felt disappointed by yourself?
What happened then?
This might be a trigger point for some people so as you recall those events, please know that you were perhaps reacting coming from a space of overwhelm.
The key now is to look at things objectively and realize that you don’t have to beat yourself up to feel good about yourself after a fall.
Yes, you can still go through life without feeling you have let yourself down.
That’s it. You can’t exceed that anymore. Disappointments come when you realize that you could have done better or have been more kind or braver — whatever you felt was lacking. However, knowing that you have given your best and you showed up at your peak state will always be more than enough, regardless of the results. Be at peace with what your #bestmeever looks like at the moment. There will always be room for growth for everyone, including you.
2. Manage your expectations and emotions
Stop overthinking. Stop letting your emotions get the best of you. Be humble enough to accept that you can’t always make things happen the way you want them to. And realize it’s ok. Be open to detours because for all you know, if you stop resisting and just embrace whatever may come your way, it may lead you to where you’re meant to be.
3. Take each result as a learning experience
Good or bad, whatever happens to you has a purpose. Take to heart this thought: life happens FOR you, not TO you. And that simply means that your results are teaching you valuable lessons you need to learn to help you thrive in this lifetime. Be grateful for allowing yourself to journey this far. That alone is worth celebrating.
4. Own your story
Your journey is very much different from everyone else. So there’s no point of over analyzing and crying over what could have been. It was meant to be that way. You have your own story to write and timeline to follow. And that’s such an empowering space to have: to be able to own your narrative, regardless of what happens around you. Be proud of your journey — for all you know, it’s someone else’s inspiration to finally be brave enough to embark on his/her own.
5. Be willing to start all over again
Believe in the beauty and power of second chances. Know that if you humbly embrace all your experiences openly and take the lessons to heart deeply, you can start all over again not from scratch, but this time around from genuine, rich experience. And that’s such a wonderful advantage to have: to know your areas for improvement, what can and must be done differently and what kind of person you need to become as you re-write your next chapter.
Consider this: you only get disappointed with yourself when you allow yourself to come from a space of unworthiness and scarcity.
By knowing your true value within, you are able to love yourself whole beyond your results, and allow yourself to take control of your life and your narratives.
May you always give yourself the compassion and support you deserve.
I never thought the lyrics of a song can be so powerful.
That is until I watched this musicale.
You see I was invited to attend the media launch of the musicale “We Aren’t Kids Anymore” by Barefoot Theatre Collaborative (BTC) set to open to the public on May 2, 2025 (that’s actually today guys!) at the Power Mac Center Spotlight Blackbox Theater in Circuit Makati.
I am such a huge fan of inspiring plays, movies and musicales so the pitch that was sent to me that said my platform, #bestmeever across multimedia, was very much in alignment with their production since I speak so often about personal development, mental health and motivational content — I knew I had to go and see it for myself.
And I tell you guys, the pitch was so true.
It hit home.
The moment I arrived at the venue, I knew that an amazing experience awaits. I loved how colorful the backdrop was, which matched my outfit. And no, I had no idea it will be like that. Promise. Haha!
Inside the venue though, it was very different. Very minimalist. But I don’t want to go spoil the fun by giving you guys so much details. Just go visit them yourself and enjoy the entire experience minus any spoilers. You’ll be thanking me eventually.
Going back to the venue set up, the entire minimalist theme actually allowed me to focus more on the music and actors, which I believe was the whole point. Surprisingly, I got to appreciate that more despite the fact that my watch was telling me the sounds were too loud inside at times (maybe I wasn’t used being exposed to such regularly as the sounds inside the TV and Radio studios when I go on-air aren’t that loud or maybe because I was seated in front, very near the stage).
I loved the fact that they casted an amazing group, who managed to tell the whole story about how it is to grow up in this world, in the rawest, most honest way possible. Awesome acting. Amazing vocals. Some of their lines resonated with me a lot and I’d like to share with you some, my take on them and bonus coaching questions for reflection. Disclaimer: not sure if I got them word per word but I think the thought was captured clearly. Did my best. Haha!.
My goodness, this line healed my inner child. Haha! Kidding aside, I lost count of the mistakes I made while growing up, out of fear, wanting to belong and to prove myself to others. However, truth be told, those mistakes allowed me to realize my need for personal boundaries, to work on myself and focus on my own journey and pursue what genuinely makes me feel happy, complete and fulfilled. Yup, all those mistakes I have made through the years have led me to become the 43 year old person that I am today. And looking back, given that now I am able to help others rise above their mistakes and see the silver linings beyond, I am blessed to have made mine as stepping stones to where I am meant to be as I live my purpose. Something to reflect on: what are your mistakes teaching you?
2. “I am not falling for that”
Is it only me or you’ve been just as gullible when you were younger too? I used to believe that I should always follow certain standards which the society and people around me have imposed, only to end up unhappier and doubting myself more in the process. I have said it time and again: there’s no point of comparing yourself with others. We all have different journeys. And that means having different standards and timelines. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. Life was not meant to be hurried or lived in a certain way–it’s meant to be enjoyed fully. So whether you’re struggling, working your way up or thriving at the moment, you’re just in time. Also, gone are the days when what others have to say about me matters. I guess it’s all about knowing my own truth and realizing that their words could never define me. So yeah. Goodbye to gaslighting and trying too hard to meet ridiculous standards. Nope, not falling for those anymore. In your case, reflect: what must you break free from?
3. “I am faking it for you”
Authenticity has always been my strongest suit and I take that to heart with me when I coach, host on-air, give talks or do content. I believe that everyone has the right to take up space as he/she is and there’s no need to fake it. When times seem more challenging than usual, the key here is to face it, not fake it. I hope you keep that in mind because as you are, you are amazing. Be true. Be you. Think about this: What are you faking in your space and how can you address that differently?
4. “Been dependent on luck. Wishing on a four leaf clover”
Destiny. Fate. Written in the stars. Maybe there’s some truth to that. However, don’t discount the fact that you also have some things under your control. So do what you can, with all that you have and all that you are so that you won’t have any regrets in the long run. The rest that’s beyond your control and influence, let go. Your thoughts please: What can you do to have more control in your life now?
5. “Realize that someone is just as scared”
Yup, you are not alone. And whatever you’re feeling now is valid. However, don’t let your fears and overwhelming emotions get the best of you. Know that someone out there takes you as an inspiration so always do your best to rise above the challenges. It’s ok to be scared, but never give in or give up. You deserve to give yourself that fighting chance to shine brighter and become better. As Nike says, just do it. Show up. Something to ponder: What can help you face your fears easier?
Staying up late last night to watch the premiere was definitely a holiday well spent in my book.
Because I learned so much more, now that I am not a kid anymore.
Thank you for having me and the beautiful reminders.
Question: ever felt afraid before?
I think it’s safe to say that one way or another, we have all experienced being fearful.
Take this time to recall yours: what were you scared of before?
Reciting in class?
A terror teacher?
Making mistakes?
Death?
In my case, I used to dread standing in front of a huge crowd because of my fear of being ridiculed and judged while growing up.
I lost count of the number of times I lost my composure and made a fool of myself as I let my fear then get the best of me. Trust me, it took a whole lot of time, effort and commitment to becoming my own #bestmeever to overcome them. Yup, working on myself helped me understand my fears (and myself) better and taught me how to face them bravely.
So if you’re feeling scared right now in your current space, for whatever reason you may have, please know that there’s hope. And yes, you can overcome your own biggest fears by choice.
But first things first: let’s debunk some of your misconceptions about fears so you don’t get overwhelmed in the process:
You will be quite surprised though, but based on experience, the most successful people I have interviewed and worked with had their own set of fears to overcome before they became the person that they are at present. Sounds highly unlikely especially if you see them looking confident and all made up. However, truth be told, it’s normal to feel scared when you are dealing with something unfamiliar or unpleasant. If the fear persists or cripples you big time though, consider seeking professional help so you can navigate through it better.
2. Your fears are all based on facts.
More often than not though, that’s not exactly the case. If you’re feeling fearful and anxious about the future then you are merely operating based on your assumptions. The only way your fears will turn into facts is when you embrace them whole and believed them totally. Know though that you have a choice on not to go that route ever. So now, ask yourself: what assumptions are clouding your judgment? What are your facts on-hand that are under your control? Reflect on these fully so you can clear your space and your thoughts accordingly.
3. Your fears define you.
Your fears don’t define you. Your response towards them, as you take responsibility for yourself and your actions, do. The only way your fears will define you is when you allow them to take over your life as you base your decisions on them: whether it’s all about quitting, letting go or beating yourself up — all of which don’t necessarily help resolve what you need to address in the first place. Reflect: what can I do now to resolve this fear of mine? Big or small, your action plans matter.
4. Your fears are unbeatable.
No fear is all powerful for someone who is very much self-aware and self-secured. It’s all about giving yourself that fighting chance to face your fears head on, knowing that you have what it takes to do so. Try to recall similar situations where in you felt scared and yet you overcame them. Use whatever learnings you had then to deliver your desired results moving forward as you look at your fears straight in the eye. Win this for yourself. You deserve it.
5. There’s nothing good about having fears.
Actually, there is. Fears help you understand yourself better, as they highlight what is truly important to you: your boundaries, your dreams and aspirations, your loved ones, your reputation. I mean consider this: you won’t be scared of losing something or doing something if what is at stake doesn’t matter, right? So consider your fears as gentle reminders of what needs your attention, whether it’s for self-improvement or the safety and growth of everyone else around you (and within you, as well). So stop resisting fear and start learning how you can sit with it comfortably so you get to understand it (and yourself) better.
Still scared? Hopefully lesser now after reading this.
Just remember: you will always be bigger than your fears.
Be brave enough to make life happen for you as you conquer them and own your space.
Honesty is the best policy.
I think we all grew up with that quote.
Whether it’s posted near the blackboard inside our classroom or written on a random page of our journal, we are oftentimes reminded of the true value of being honest in our lives.
Which in fact is quite valid because practicing honesty builds integrity and credibility, things we need in order to fully succeed in life. And trust me, you wouldn’t want to sacrifice those in the long run.
Sadly though, not all people welcome honesty with open arms. At times, no matter how well-meaning a person is, his/her honest remarks are taken as an attack.
While the issues and experiences of others are theirs to carry (which actually determine how they see the world and react to it, your message included), you should not burden yourself by doubting your actions if your intentions are pure.
At the end of the day, you know yourself best and you deserve to be honest not only with your words but also on how you choose to live life in general.
Take to heart though that your privilege goes the same for others and the key here is to practice respect while communicating honestly as we set and maintain necessary boundaries.
Think about the last honest conversation you had: how did it go?
Did the other party take it openly?
Or were you accused of being heartless, insensitive and outright rude?
While you can’t control the way others will react towards your honesty, you can always fine tune your way of delivering your message from your authentic self.
Here’s how you can be honest without being rude:
Most of the time, people get angry when caught off by surprise. Prevent this by preparing the person as you ask for permission if you can give your honest opinion. This gives the other party the time to think and consider his current space as to whether he is receptive towards it or isn’t ready at the moment. Either way, it will also give you an idea on whether to proceed or park it first to avoid conflict.
2. Clarify your intentions.
In order to avoid any form of misconception, it is important to state your reasons why you want to have that honest conversation and which space you’re coming from. Doing so allows the other party to loosen up and feel more safe and at ease to receiving your honest feedback.
3. Deliver your message mindfully.
How you structure your sentences and your choice of words can affect your delivery’s impact. Don’t forget your tone of voice and body language too. My tip here is that: if you were going to say the same thing to your 5 year old self, how will you do so coming from a space of love and genuine concern? Start from there. P.S. be clear and concise so that the key message doesn’t drown along the way.
4. Take time to listen and ask for feedback.
Being honest is also a two-way street. So best if you lend your ears as you ask about the feelings of the other person concerned. Once more, assure the other person that you will be open to listening and receiving feedback, much like how he/she did. Never block off what the other person has to say and never anticipate it as a form of attack. Be humble enough to allow yourself to know the impact of your message. Clarify and apologize if needed.
5. Ask how you can help out moving forward.
A gem of an effort indeed. It’s all about making the other person feel supported no matter what. Genuinely ask for what support you can offer and how can things be better for both of you moving forward. It’s not just about being able to say your piece, but rather using that conversation as a springboard to improving things around (and within) you .
Always remember that there’s nothing wrong with being honest.
However, know that you have a choice as to not come off as blunt by becoming more mindful of your words and actions.
That’s part of becoming your own #bestmeever .
Self talk is very powerful.
And that’s a fact.
How you talk to yourself, how you view and treat yourself becomes your every day reality.
Now my question is: how are your conversations with yourself? Which space are you coming from?
Take this time to reflect: what have you been saying to yourself?
Are you expressing joy? Disappointment? Anger? Shame? Excitement? Guilt?
How do these conversations affect your day to day existence?
Before you raise your eyebrows, know that you’re not going crazy as you engage in self talk.
It’s actually a healthy way to allow your mind to process things better and understand the space you’re coming from.
It also gives you the chance to affirm yourself and ground yourself when needed.
However, you can only reap the beautiful benefits of self-talk if you choose to engage in yours positively.
This means that you exert conscious effort to find what is good in your space and appreciate yourself, no matter what happens around you (or even sometimes within you).
It’s all about coming from a space of love and understanding, knowing that you are doing the best that you can, with all that you are and all that you have and that will always be more than enough reason for you to appreciate yourself more.
Take this to heart: as you speak lovingly to yourself, you allow yourself to maximize your potential and grow to the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
And by doing so, you also enable yourself to come from a space of overflow, which makes you not settle for anything less than what you deserve, as you also teach others how to treat you better.
Your self deserves an apology if you’ve been neglecting it for quite sometime now. Whether you got too busy at work that you overlooked your self-care routine or treated it badly because you were having a bad day, be humble enough to say sorry. Mean it. And make sure to make up for it as you commit to try your best not to do what you hurt yourself with again.
2. Thank you, Self
You, reading this now means that you’ve made it this far. And trust me, you couldn’t have done it without trusting (and working on/with) yourself. Every single day, new possibilities await you– be patient with yourself and your growth. Be grateful for what your life has become at the moment. It’s a stepping stone towards what you’re meant to be in this lifetime. Trust me: a whole hearted, genuine self appreciation goes a long way.
3. I am proud of you, Self
When life seems so challenging, we tend to forget how many times we survived far harder situations in the past. Honor yourself. Your battle scars are testament that you are trying (harder even at times) and for that alone you deserve a pat on the back, regardless of the results. Today, count your blessings and realize how blessed you are and how much you’ve grown.
4.I love you, Self
Give yourself the kind of love you freely give to others. Before you cringe — it’s not cheesy or self-serving. It’s actually something your self really deserves: to know that he/she is unconditionally loved for who and what he/she is. As what Ru Paul always says: If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can anybody else? Amen to that!
5. We can do this, Self
If you want to succeed in this life time, be your own greatest fan. Believe in yourself fully and you will be totally unstoppable. Free yourself from the need to be validated by others as you focus on yourself and your own growth. Know that you have everything within you to succeed and it’s all up to you on how you will maximize it. When the going gets tough, inquire within and give yourself that gentle nudge to keep going. Keep believing.
I hope that you get to build a better relationship with yourself after reading this.
Looking forward to seeing you have more loving talks from the heart with the most important person in the room:
your precious self.
