I spent the last 100 days working on myself.
Long overdue if I may say. Haha!
I let my old self die along with all the unnecessary burdens I was carrying with me, thinking that I must endure so that others can enjoy being their journey towards their own #bestmeever more…at my expense sad to say.
As a professional coach, I am used to giving my all, each and every time I engage with my coachees and mentees during our sessions. And as the person that I am, I have always been the type who’s willing to sacrifice when needed just to make my relationships, whether romantic or other wise, work.
While my heart was full during the entire time that I was giving, admittedly, I forgot to allow myself to receive just as much.
Yes, I am only human and sometimes I forget. So there, I hope that I debunked the notion that coaches are invincible.
I don’t want to be invincible. I want to be real that’s why I am sharing this, to show that it’s ok to be your vulnerable self.
To admit that you’re tired. To recognize that you need to do a hard stop. To acknowledge that you need to focus more on yourself. To love yourself more in the process.
To be candid about it, it took quite sometime (and a number of situations) to make me realize that.
You know that saying when God (and the Universe) wants you to learn something, He will give you situations that will make you rethink your decisions, albeit at times really painful and heart breaking, so that you will learn your lessons well.
I think I got that point across. Clearly! Haha!
Prior to me having the much needed hard stop, things seem to be falling apart left and right: relationships not working out, contracts shelved, regular media guestings cancelled or moved — all these things I tried to keep to myself as I processed alone initially. In the process of coping and being optimistic about things thinking that all will come to pass, I saw myself going out more and just enjoying life the best way I know: exploring new food places left and right. Yup, even if I was working out, I was eating much. My thought then: best way to think things over. Haha!
That was one of the biggest lies I told myself and good thing I caught myself immediately.
I remember taking a bath one day right after my heart got broken in a million pieces by someone and decided to take my pic. When I saw my pic, it then hit me: I love my curves and all, but I know I can love myself more.
So this was me. On that fateful day. At 179.3 lbs. Chubuff! hahaha!
And then I remembered: I walk the talk.
This is what I tell my coachees and mentees. To practice what they preach. To be a living example.
So I did.
First thing I did was to give myself a clear goal: to be my #bestmeever self again in the next 100 days.
I had a clear vision of how that will look like: healthier, happier and a whole lot better.
Next, I did a hard stop. I started saying no to engagements that were not life changing for me. I asked permission from my clients that I will need a time off as I heal and recalibrate myself. Same goes with my usual media programs. My honesty paid off: they were all supportive. I felt the love. And I will always be grateful for that. Now that my schedule was a bit free, what do I want to do now?
This was a no brainer.
I went to Boracay, one of my favorite beaches for a week to just reflect and recognize the space that I am in. 
It helped a lot. Healing took place the moment I landed there and re-traced my steps, re-lived some experiences and created new memories. So many tears shed, so many emotions felt. All worth it. It was empowering and liberating to slowly let the broken pieces of my old self fall off and reveal my upgraded one underneath. I also enjoyed my long walks from Station 1 to Station 3 every morning and during sunset because I got to burn a lot of calories and practice gratitude for this opportunity to start all over again. Promise, reflecting while walking was very therapeutic.
I also started mindful eating then because wellness and over-all well-being includes not only the mental and emotional state but the physical state as well. Ok, so I started doing intermittent fasting (16-8), no more rice, ate more proteins and veggies. Yes, veggies. For those who know me, they will probably raise eyebrows upon reading this. But hey yes, if there’s one beautiful habit I learned from my previous painful experience is to have a wonderful relationship with vegetables and veggie meat. Haha!
A sample of my usual food from that time on. My goodness, never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself ordering salad, and just salad for lunch. But hey miracles do happen! And after 100 days, I think I am a testament to that. I love veggies now. Legit.
I also started a morning routine to challenge myself and allow myself to have time and space to reflect and process every single day. I started jogging in the morning. Usually at 4:30AM. Rain or shine. Crazy right?
One of my favorite places. But it goes beyond health reasons and burning calories. It was all about practicing my commitment to myself and my own wellness and well-being. While I was not that overweight to begin with, I realized that loving myself more means to also allow myself to take care of my body so I can look and feel my best. Cannot just settle knowing that I can still be better. So glad I committed to that practice. Up to now actually!
By this time you also know that I had my cataract operation recently so that coincided with my time off, and looking at it, it’s actually a blessing in disguise. I was forced to stay at home and recover and recuperate. I knew I had to keep my body healthy so I began a loving relationship with my yoga mat and did stretches regularly to keep my body in tune (and me inspired).
That’s my after stretching glow in my unfiltered picture taken after my routine.
So slowly and surely, I got back into a healthy routine that worked for me, while consciously and intentionally managing my work load better. I started accepting new clients as I found new inspiration in what I do, because this time around, as I coach, I also allowed myself to be coached (thanks Coach, you know who you are!) and be part of the equation (recognizing my own needs and wants as just as important and not just settle for the sake of). I actually found more joys in saying NO’s to the many requests that flood me daily. And even more joy in saying yes to owning my space and sanitizing it fully. In the process, I also found happiness in going back to my aerial silks practice because that sparked joy outside of what I was used to doing. A little excitement goes a long way.
Ok. let me rephrase that as this must be too much of an excitement already for some. Haha!
All through out my journey, I also became more mindful about doing the things that make my heart smile. So I did put up my Christmas tree early and bought a number of statement shirts that resonated with me.
Don’t you just think my personal holiday looked good on me?
I shed more and more weight as the days go by and together with the excess pounds were the excess baggage and stress I unknowingly carried.
The more weight I lost, the more I found myself.
It wasn’t just my weight that was holding me down; it was my decision then to give others all the love and affection I could. Something which now I realized I deserved myself. I just forgot because I was too busy with work and working things out.
And now, I am so glad I did realize everything just in time.
Because who I saw as my wellness journey unfolded was my real self: a person who was genuinely happy, complete and fulfilled.
Ready to face the world again.
And the world couldn’t agree more.
I am grateful for the warm welcome everyone gave me and everything just seems to be falling back into place.
I went back to the radio station to do live broadcast after 2.5 years of doing remote ones. I love it’s new look! Not to mention I have a new regular stint in another station for the coming month and other media-related interviews ahead. I’m back!
I also started giving face to face workshops again and reviving all the pending speaking, coaching and facilitating engagements I had with brands and companies. The energy of the participants from CDO filled my love tank to the brim. Thank you for the trust and love. See you again soon!
I told you the Universe has a funny way of reminding you that you’re on the right track. In my case, my interview with global thought leadership magazine, Authority Magazine , just came out. The topic: Total Health. Uhm, relate much! But again, I am super grateful for this opportunity to inspire worldwide.
This recent win before I finished my 100 days as one of the Top Celebrity Life Coaches globally was really life changing and timely for me. It was a beautiful reminder of why I chose to be in this industry and that being able to change lives globally is a privilege I hold close to my heart. Thank you for believing in me and in what I do best.
And of course, since I weigh myself daily, I’d like to share how much I weigh. From 81.5 kgs (179.3 lbs) when I started, to …
Yes, taken this morning. 74.70 kgs. (164.34 lbs). That’s 14.96 lbs lost in 100 days. Yaaaasssss!
You may ask how I look like now?
Wish granted.
After work out. No edits.
Heartbreaks really do look good on me, don’t you agree?
I am now ready for more mature roles, Direk. hahahaha!
But seriously, looking good makes one feel good right? That’s my space now. After seeing I can actually fit into my 2018 clothes (I was 158 lbs at my leanest, but changed my body goals now because I want to beef up instead of being twinkish, if you know what I mean. haha!)
Can I just say?
I am just so proud of myself.
Great job, Self!
The entire journey wasn’t easy. But all worth it.
I hope this blog post of mine inspires you guys to just keep going. Keep growing.
Let your heartbreaks lead you to your breakthroughs.
Let your 100 days start now.
For me, my next 100 days continue. On to more healthy living, greater goals, more meaningful relationships, continuous healing, recalibrating and growing.
I am on my way to my own #bestmeever .
If you want to go on your own wellness and wellbeing journey towards your own #bestmeever , message me when you’re ready to invest on your self, your happiness and your growth. Let’s work together.
Sigh.
That’s perhaps the only thing we can do whenever things don’t go as planned.
I mean, I know one way or another you can relate to any or all of these:
….ever set a goal worked so hard on it, which led you to be just one step away from achieving it e.g. a promotion at work, a financial target, winning a competition etc,…but then suddenly the biggest plot twist occurs and your journey suddenly gets cut short?
….did you ever find yourself in a near-perfect relationship with your seemingly ideal guy and then without warning you find your fairy tale love story ending abruptly?
…planned your dream vacation and then suddenly it got cancelled because of unforeseen events beyond your control?
I can actually go on and on with this list but heym you already know what I am talking about.
Yup, it’s a fact: things don’t always work out the way we want them to.
Which in turn leaves us feeling angry, sad, worried and a whole lot anxious about what’s next for us, totally forgetting our own #bestmeever journey.
Reason being is that we focus too much on what went wrong instead of seeing the beautiful silverlinings behind seemingly tragic ends.
Allow me to share with you the 5 reasons why things don’t work out initially.
1.) You are being saved from greater pain or danger
Yes. God (or the Universe) might have just saved your ass from something more severe hidden under your story’s plot. Ever heard of the people who got stuck in traffic on their way to work at the World Trade Center during the 9/11 bombing? Or the guy who missed the fatal flight to Kenya? Yep, you probably know a lot of those kind of stories. And yes, they’re real.
2.) You are given the chance to improve yourself even more
Not yet does not mean never. So how amazing is it to know that there’s still room for improvement and you’re given yet another chance to maximize it? It’s no secret that Pia Wurtzbach joined the National Pageant thrice, each time becoming better, before she won and got to represent the country in the 2015 Miss Universe, where she bagged the crown. What if you’re a Pia in the making? I know that made you smile. Allow.
3.) It’s allowing you to focus on yourself and recalibrate
Have you been so gung-ho when it comes to chasing your goals? Feeling tired, pressured and burned out? Things not working out in your favor allow you to step back, pause and re assess the space you’re in as you take that much needed break from it all. That’s actually the healthy (and humbling ) way to go about things: allow yourself to rest as you let the dust settle so you can clearly define what’s next for you. Yup, there’s life after chaos of whatever kind. You’ll survive and thrive.
4.) You learn important lessons you need
Good or bad, experiences help you grow by allowing you to learn important lessons you need in life. Ask yourself this each time things don’t go as planned: what is this situation teaching me? How can I apply the learning to my current space? You will be surprised on how smooth your life can be there after only if you take the lessons to heart.
5.) You deserve something (or someone) better
God knows better. Period. Someday you will meet that one person who will make you realize why you had to undergo so many heart aches and why all was worth it. Someday, you will look back and smile about lost opportunities and relationships that led you exactly to where you’re meant to be: happier and free. You just have to trust the process, do all that you can with all that you have, and know and believe that the best is yet to come. Soon!
So guys, if times are rough now, remember this:
Tough times are temporary.
All will be well eventually.
You just have to look beyond the challenging situations and realize that all will work out eventually.
Your journey is just beginning.
Now take a deep breath.
Because life goes on.
So can you.
Happy 41st birthday, Self!
Yes, I am now officially 41.
And come to think of it, it’s such a beautiful experience to be able to reach this age. I mean growing up, I never had an idea how it would look and feel like. But hey, here I am now, blowing my candle and adding yet another year to my life.
While others become worried as they age, I am actually having a grand time embracing the person that I am becoming: my own #bestmeever . Yes, I truly believe that the best is yet to come.
Thinking about it now, it was definitely a one-of-a-kind roller coaster ride towards becoming the person I am meant to be. I lost count of the number of ups and downs, the twists and turns and everything that happened in between. But hey, I am genuinely grateful for all of them because they all happened for a reason, and the core being is that all those were essential to my learning and growth.
Coming from honesty and humility, I am just so happy that at this point in time, I no longer feel anxious about what the future may bring. There’s freedom in trusting myself and the process as I let myself (and things) be.
I have to say, experience indeed is the best teacher. I wouldn’t be a credible coach now if I haven’t experienced all those in the past 41 years. And today, I would like to share with you the 41 life lessons I learned which molded me into the person that I am now.
Indulge!
So there you go! I hope these life lessons resonate with you.
I look forward to learning more this year.
Thank you for celebrating my 41st birthday with me.
My heart is full.
Never too late to start on something great, something new.
I couldn’t agree more.
This was actually the thought I had this morning while I was jogging, after realizing that it was already the 1st of August.
Yup, finally my birthday month as I turn 41 on the 12th.
I know, just a few days from now before I age a little more, albeit happily and gracefully, I’d like to think. haha!
While other people find it terrifying, I actually find celebrating birthdays (and aging) as a beautiful reminder that life goes on.
And that means, whatever space you are in now, you can still make it better as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
So do away with the notion that aging is all about being frail, wrinkles and just watching life pass you by.
Because you know what, it will always be more than that.
You just can’t wait once a year to reflect, recalibrate and realize how blessed you are to celebrate yourself. Ok make that twice, because at times we do the same thing during new year. Imagine how different your life will be if you wake up excited every single day, anticipating wonderful presents and just being more aware of your progress. Remember, aging is not about how many years have passed you by; you can age happily and gracefully every single day as you choose to grow along the way as you celebrate yourself unconditionally.
2, Do away with superficial attachments
One thing I learned about life: people and things come and go. And you know what, that’s ok. So instead of stressing and sulking over attachments that have faded into oblivion, focus on the real connections made. Remember, each person and everything that happens to you has its own purpose and no matter how short, they probably have fulfilled it in their own way. Come from a space of acceptance and bask in the beauty of what was while remaining happy and excited over what is here and now.
3. Create a birthday bucket list
This one is very exciting for me because I get to chunk down my bigger goals into what’s workable within a year. This involves letting go of all the things (and people) that are no longer serving you well and becoming really honest with yourself and what you really want to have or achieve as you get a year older. Having a clear picture of the things you want to have and achieve, with a highly strategic action plan to turn them into reality makes your journey towards your entire year ahead more exciting and inspiring.
4. Be intentional in closing painful chapters in the past
I always say, you can only move on and forward if you have learned to be at peace with your past. And this means goving yourself the closure you want and deserve, with or without the consent (or presence) of the other parties involved. It’s all about reflecting fully, and accepting things as they were and acknowledging things as they are now. You have the power of choice to turn that page in your life and never look back so that you won’t be distracted as you live the life you’ve always wanted without anything holding you back.
5. Have a healthy relationship with yourself
You are the most important person inside the room. You can age happily and gracefully by having a healthy relationship with yourself, giving yourself what you want and what is due, choosing the space you want to be in and the people you want in your circle and allowing yourself to live the life you’ve always wanted without any form of judgment or fear. Yes, self-love and self-care play a very important role in aging wonderfully.
Let me end this blog post by saying that yes, age is but a number.
It’s not the number of years that count.
But rather, how you make each day, each moment ,
of every year added to your life, count.
May you age happily and gracefully too.
There will always be days which are less than perfect.
And that’s perfectly normal.
Once in a while, life throws you a curve ball, totally unexpected, leaving you struggling and confused as you try to control the situation on hand.
That’s part of human nature actually: wanting to be in control at all times, thinking that things should happen always the way we want them to.
But is that really the case?
Too much resistance at times can lead us to become frustrated when things don’t turn out to be in our favor, making us doubt ourselves.
We then begin to question our skills, our worthiness, and everything around us that causes our self-confidence to slide down dangerously.
When this happens, we end up feeling not good enough. And trust me, that isn’t exactly a nice space to be in.
You may ask: how can you feel good inside when everything else around you seems to be in total chaos and you’re against all odds?
That’s exactly the point: you are allowing the state of the things around you, become you. You are not what happens to you.
When situations seem unfavorable or people are treating you less than you deserve, when you focus on them, you amplify their impact on you.
What is key here is to recognize your need to become self-empowered so that you get to resolve that feeling of not being good enough.
1.) Remember that you have your own journey
Whenever you compare yourself with others or even your previous self (if you were doing good before), you rob yourself of the opportunity to grow in harmony with the now. You’re being unfair to yourself that way. Instead, what you can do is acknowledge your current progress. While it may not be perfect now, celebrate the fact that you’ve made it this far and most probably you’re still in time (and doing good) based on your own timelines and standards. Give yourself enough room to make mistakes and learn from them — that’s not exactly a bad thing, you know. Go and grow at your own pace, in your own space.
2.) Remember what you’re good at
Whatever that’s not working right now in your life, know that it’s only one aspect, not the whole so don’t ever let your results define you fully. Consider your journey and how far you’ve grown. Ask yourself this: what other things am I good at that can help me in my current space? Maybe it’s a matter of changing approach or simply changing your focus in the meantime until you feel fully inspired again. Creative? Think of news ways to approach it. A good writer? Write an inspiring story about your set back. A speaker? Talk about it. You can always make the most of what happens to you for a s long as you don’t let it define you.
3.) Consider it as a learning experience
Humbling, yet so empowering to know that there’s still room for growth. Embrace that beautiful lesson; it’s part of you as you become your own #bestmeever . Reflect on what you can improve on and who can help you in the process. Feeling not good enough is actually the push you need to step out of your comfort zone and commit to becoming your best. Don’t let any negative emotion pull you down.
4.) Take a time off to celebrate yourself
You don’t need to face everything all at once. Take a step back. Relax and ground yourself. It’s not the end of the world, my dear. You may not feel that you’re good enough in a particular space or for a particular person, but hey if you think long and hard about it, time and again, you have proven that otherwise. Try to write down the number of times you’ve succeeded in other matters. List down the number of people who have shown you love and inspiration. Note all the times you have felt proud of yourself. All those are beautiful justifications for you to move on and forward. Note to self: You’ve just encountered a hurdle. You’re not stuck in a rut. Because you’ve risen above that challenge before. Time and again.
5.) Make a difference in someone else’s life
You can always choose to lend a helping hand to those who have far less than you and have probably had things harder for them in general. Give yourself the same compassion you willingly give these people, You may feel small and insignificant now, but when you see the smiles on the faces of those you intentionally helped, that will change you. To feel different about yourself, allow yourself to make a difference in the lives of others. Because even in the smallest, simplest ways, like doing a favor or smiling or asking how they are — those can be life changing for them…and you as well. Because you matter too.
At this point, after having said all these, I just want you to remember this:
You will always be more than enough,
And that’s something good to hold on to, always.
Fact: You can’t know everything all at once.
And there will be times when even what you thought you knew well, won’t exactly be the case.
That’s the irony of it all.
And when this happens, we feel very helpless since we are used to always being in control, ensuring things happen as planned.
We end up feeling stressed, unhappy and unmotivated simply because we thought we had everything all figured out.
Let me remind you this harsh truth: we don’t.
In fact there are alot of things that we are probably clueless about yet we try so hard to make sense of everything:
We don’t know what others are going through, sometimes, ourselves included, yet we oftentimes judge them (and ourselves based on what we see and what we feel alone, and not based on what’s truly within anchored on facts.
We don’t know what the future has in store for us, yet we anxiously anticipate it and try to control it as much as we can.
We don’t know when our healing will happen, yet we assume that it will take forever and it’s ok to just wallow in our own misery and drive people away with our pain.
We don’t know how much time we have left yet we act as if tomorrow’s guaranteed and we can still put off relationships, goals, starting over among others.
We don’t know what we truly deserve because we refused to take risks because we fear of getting hurt, not realizing that we are hurting ourselves and others more in the process of holding back and not being true to ourselves.
We don’t know that we matter so much to other people outside of those who have taken us for granted that we forget as we dwell on what’s lost rather than what we can gain from exploring and being with others who make us feel valued.
We don’t know that somewhere out there, someone looks up to us despite us feeling so discontented and unhappy at times in our current space, thinking that we lack so much. and we let that define us.
We don’t know what love truly is because we base it on our previous experiences and associate it with a lot of what could have beens rather than focusing on what (and who) is here and now and what can still be when we give it a chance, despite its being unexpected and unconventional. We know a lot of excuses and we try to justify them left and right, not knowing that having all those will only leave us hurting and wondering more in the long run.
We don’t know…that we don’t know the answers to all these.
And we will never know if we don’t make that choice.
To see things differently and let ourselves be.
We will know if we listen not to our ego and not focus on our pains.
We will know once we step out of our comfort zone and be comfortable with just knowing and being.
We will know if and when we decide to take the risk coming from a space of love and purpose as we breakdown walls of pains and doubts.
We will know once we have accepted what we don’t know.
And that’s a very humbling, yet empowering experience.
Because that’s part of becoming our own #bestmeever .
I trust that by now, you know better.
As we age, whether we like it or not, we tend to become more and more forgetful.
That’s simply a fact of life.
We constantly evolve as life happens.
We try to adapt, to endure, to do and be our best as we try to keep up with the never ending cycle of ups and downs.
In the process, at times we feel overwhelmed by everything that’s happening around us and within us.
When this happens, we tend to forget how amazing our current space it as we focus on what went wrong or what didn’t go as planned, making us want to escape from the now as we seek validation and re-assurance somewhere else.
But ask yourself this: do you really have to?
Maybe not.
Maybe it’s really not about escaping,
Maybe it’s just about remembering what needs to be our anchor as we go through life, one day at a time.
It may seem lonely at times especially if you’re coming from a break up or when you lose a friend or loved one. Never forget though that there are people around you who will be willing to help you heal and move on and forward from whatever broke you. You just have to reach out and allow others to help you unburden yourself as you let go of your pains and what could have been. Never just keep things to yourself, because yeah, you really don’t have to. You are supported and loved.
2. You have a choice
Whether to say yes or no. To stay or go. To be whatever you want to be. It all lies in your commitment to yourself and the choices you have to make in order for you to become your own #bestmeever .Nothing can stop you if you truly believe in yourself and your own purpose, regardless of what others may have to say or do about it. Never forget your power of choice because that will allow you to push through.
3. Your time will come
Not now does not mean never. You just have to be patient with yourself and your journey. Never forget that everything that’s happening to you now is just preparing you for what you truly want and deserve. Hang on. Keep the faith. Everything will fall into place once you’re truly ready.
4. You’re just as important as everyone else
Never treat yourself as less deserving. Never forget your own value, your own worth. Keep it intact always. Because at the end of the day, you matter. A lot. So don’t let anyone, or anything make you feel otherwise.
5. You are whole
As you are, despite what you’ve been through or whatever else you’re going through as of the moment, never forget that you’re whole and complete. Everything and everyone else that comes into your life is just a bonus, not a missing piece.
May you never forget all these so that you get to live and enjoy a life that’s worth remembering.
Always. In all ways.
You’re more than enough.
Always.
I tend to repeat that time and again to help people who are suffering from low-esteem and doubting their self-worth.
And more often than not, it’s because these people have redefined themselves with things, situations and associations, which don’t really serve them well.
What is important to know now is that any description you put after the word “I AM” is very powerful so be careful what you affirm as your personal truth.
Yep, those things, can actually become your reality if you truly embrace them and believe them as is.
Such is the case with people who subscribe so much to the standards of others that they tend to measure their self worth based on the approval of others, which truth be told, should not be the case at all. Feeling guilty now? Kidding.
Yes my dear. Work is not life. You were not born to just earn money to pay the bills. You are meant to enjoy life to the fullest, with all that you are and everything that you allow yourself to become eventually. Your job title, your industry, your expertise…all those won’t really matter in the long run. They don’t make you better than the rest of the world. Because really, you’re more than what you do.
2. Your relationships
It’s not about who you know or who you’re with that determines your self-worth: it’s about who you choose to become alongside people who share your space. So do away with name dropping or banking on associations. Choose to be your own person as you create a name for yourself. You deserve to own your space and identity. Never borrow from anyone else.
3. Your achievements
While your achievements can take you further in life, your attitude can bring you closer to the hearts of those around you. You are more than the medals, the recognitions and success you have attained. And you should be comfortable with your own skin even if you haven’t reached your full potential just yet. You have your own journey towards your own #bestmeever , and it’s definitely special in it’s own way. So celebrate yourself as you are, with all that you have. You deserve it.
4. Your past
It’s over and done with. So why still hold on to it? You are not your mistakes, your failures, your trauma, your losses…and everything else that’s part of your past. You are what you choose to do at present as you become the person you’re meant to be: genuinely happy and free from yesterday’s chapters. Just learn the lessons and do away with the associated definition of who and what you were. That’s not you now, anyway.
5. Your money in your bank account
Fact: some of the happiest people I know have little money and the saddest ones are those who have so much. So don’t ever let money define your self worth. It’s not about how much money you have, burt rather, how much you’ve given in terms of time, effort and love that will linger in the minds of the people around you. So make your presence count instead because it’s the greatest gift you can give. Just my two cents worth.
I’d like to end this post with this reminder:
Whoever you are at the moment, whatever you choose to become, you will always be worthy of the love, care and admiration that you willingly give to others.
Because like I said earlier, in case you’ve already forgotten,
you are more than enough.
If only I could turn back time
(Cue in loud sigh).
I definitely know that a lot of you guys can relate to this.
We all have those moments where in we wished that we could have done this, did away with that and change our lives in between.
We tend to be fixated in how our past went, with all the decisions we made and those we didn’t that we forget to live and enjoy the now.
But really, who’s to blame?
This was the thought that came into mind while I was reflecting this morning, as I took a day off from work because I wasn’t really feeling well due to my 2nd booster shot. I guess you can say that it was a much needed break from it all. And I need to listen to my body.
Having this “free” time today, I got to reflect about my life and wondered: how different will my life be if my younger self knew all the lessons I have taken to heart now?
The vision of my clueless, highly gullible grade school self who was ridiculed and bullied by other kids suddenly had a huge grin on his face.
I mean imagine, what if kids would learn their concepts of self-worth, self-care and self-love at an early age? What if much value was also given on how to become self-empowered, as much as being equip with technical skills?
I wish they taught these life lessons back then in school.
But hey, never too late to teach the younger generations now right?
1.) It’s ok to be different
This. There is no right or wrong concept of self. Everyone is free to become whatever he or she wants to be. You don’t always have to conform and going against the flow does not make one a bad person. One’s uniqueness is a gift and authenticity is a super power. Never let anyone make you feel that you’re less of a person if you sparkle a little brighter, a little more colorful than others. Honor yourself, young Unicorn.
2.) It’s ok to change dreams
Don’t pressure yourself too much kiddo on becoming what you initially thought you wanted or what your parents (and everyone else) around you think what’s best for you. It’s ok to take the steering wheel and go another direction. You’re not a failure that way; you’re merely following your heart and living your passion. You can change your mind for as many times as you want to, but know at the end of the day, you’re heart will stay where it feels like home. So until then, keep dreaming. You’ll end up where you’re truly meant to be.
3.) Success is not just about fame and fortune
Do away with the perception that getting good grades and being in a good school will guarantee your success. They won’t. Plus, success doesn’t even have to be defined always as something that’s flashy– you need not have the most prestigious profession, the biggest achievement or the richest to be considered successful. Don’t let others define what success means for you. Own it, may it be simply finishing a task or getting a passing grade, you need to give yourself more credit. And know as you age, dear kiddo, you will realize that there is so much more to life than just being successful. So instead of aiming to become successful in what you do, aim to be genuinely happy instead because fulfilment outweighs success.
4.) You become what you think you are
Uhuh. Your mind is that powerful. It’s not the words of others which define you. It’s how you see yourself and what you allow in your space that defines you at present. So quit paying attention to other people trying to bring you down, stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own journey and what feels genuinely true to you. At the end of the day, it’s all about you so must learn to take responsibility for yourself and your actions, because no one else will. Your mind is a blank canvas, make sure you paint a masterpiece of yourself in it, kid.
5.) Not everything (or everyone) will matter in the long run
Quit sulking over things that have gone wrong. Stop trying to please everyone around you just to fit in. Just live life as it is. Enjoy. Because eventually, you will realize that not everything will still be part of your next chapter. And that’s ok. Just be open to changes and embrace the beautiful person you’re becoming. And yes, you will be able to replace all the people you’ve outgrown, end up with an even better dream and make sense of why things had to be the way they were initially. Trust yourself and the process more and be brave enough to live life in your way, your time.
I hope you can share these lessons to younger people who need to be reminded that their own #bestmeever is just around the corner.
And don’t forget to share with your younger self too.
As you grow in harmony with each other.
Fact: There are things beyond our control.
And more often than not, we forget this.
Don’t get me wrong: we are all entitled to have our own dreams and aspirations. And even specific timelines that go with each.
We set our sights on achieving a certain level of success at a certain age or have a family within a desired time frame.
We consistently convince ourselves, as others put pressure on us, to meet ridiculous deadlines and subscribe to unreasonable standards.
But life isn’t that easy.
It has its own twists and turns.
And a lot of unforeseen surprises in between.
Suddenly it catches you off-guard and you find yourself sulking over a loss, a relationship that went sour, a failure, a bunch of other detours that make you believe that the world is against you.
But is it really the case?
Or maybe it’s just a matter of perfect timing, in God’s time?
If you’re reading this right now then this is your sign to take a step back and be patient.
To be more mindful and open.
To trust yourself and the process more.
To let yourself (and things) be.
As you visualize what God’s perfect timing looks like.
Well let me give you a glimpse:
In God’s perfect time, you will be able to fulfill your childhood dream and make your younger self proud;
In God’s perfect time, you will heal from all your pains from the past and allow you to enjoy the current space you’re in minus any negative associations from what could have been;
In God’s perfect time, it will all make sense: your heart aches, your disappointments, and all other things that made life challenging for you;
In God’s perfect time, you will achieve your greatest goals no matter how impossible they may seem at first.
In God’s perfect time, you will be happier and genuinely grateful for your entire journey that has unfolded right before your eyes.
In God’s perfect time, it’ll be all about you.
I know, that’s such an amazing bunch of thoughts to hold on to.
But much like you, my bigger question back then was: “So when?”
And after taking some time to reflect on it, I got my answer:
It’s now.
I am exactly where God wants me to be.
Amidst imperfections and ideals, of triumphs and pains,
He wants me to learn important lessons in gratitude and how to make the most of the now.
So that I will be truly ready to receive the life that I have always wanted and deserved.
So now, as you reflect about your current space, do away with the when or why you’re there.
Instead focus on the what and the how: what can you do to learn more about yourself and how can you maximize the space you’re in.
This is your time.
To become your own #bestmeever .
And that’s as perfect as God’s timing can get.
