Never too late to start a new adventure and make a dream come true.
My mantra ever since.
This is actually coming from my own experience. I never did let my age get in the way of my dreams.
Imagine: transitioning careers at age 36. Starting from scratch. Experiencing rejections time and again because I was a newbie in the coaching practice back then. My 15 solid years of experience in advertising and marketing did not really matter to my prospects then in search of a professional coach for them.
Yes, it was a very humbling, frustrating and life-changing experience.
But I am glad I pushed through.
Because if I let the opinions of others, the rejections and all the challenges that came my way back then, I wouldn't be my own #bestmeever now: a multi-awarded global master coach with international best selling books and viral thought leadership articles to match.
I say all of these not to brag but to celebrate the wonderful journey it has been and how beautiful transitions can be if you willingly embrace it.
Ok, just to be clear: life transitions don't just pertain to your new chosen career. It can also mean changing relationships, pursuing a different passion, or exploring an unfamiliar aspect of yourself.
And it can happen at any age, not necessarily when your hair turns gray. The good thing about it though is that: know that it's ok.
Finding yourself at the crossroads of your life is normal. It means you're actually preparing yourself to grow even more so stop beating yourself up. Transitioning does not mean you're falling behind; it actually means you're finally ready to take that first step to moving forward and becoming the person you're meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
Mind you though: transitioning is never easy. I mean seriously, I don't know anyone who finds uncertainty and unfamiliarity as something joyful. Haha! Kidding aside though, more than just wanting it for yourself, changing the space you're in requires you to be fully committed and to do the work needed, no matter what.
Fear limits you and your dreams and giving in to it makes you settle for what you truly deserve. So it's best to reflect on this question, coming from a space of courage and vulnerability instead so that you may finally identify what you truly want best. Make sure to make it as specific as possible e.g. I want to be happy (like how? what's your space like? what will be the basis?) so that you have a clear vision of what you aspire to be.
2. Why do I want that transition for myself?
Remembering your own "why" grounds you and helps you through the darkest days. Be really honest about the value of your decision so that you get to hold on to your reasons along the way as you turn your "why" to "why not"? Acknowledge how transitioning will make you feel and how it will help you live your purpose, whatever it may be.
3. What's stopping me from moving forward with the transition I want for myself?
Fear. Finances. Responsibilities. Unworthiness. Health. Time. Space. All these and more. The goal here is to identify the things holding you back so you can process them accordingly based on what you can control and do away with those that you can't. At the end of the day, the only thing that can really stop you is yourself, because everything else has a solution, one way or another. Remember: if you really want something, nothing can stand in your way.
4. How committed am I to my transition?
It's a life-changing decision you have to make for yourself so you have to be 100% in. No halfway thoughts. There will be good days and bad days and you must be willing to embrace both equally. At the end of the day, know that i'll be worth it.
5. How can I go about my desired transition?
Planning is key. You don't just go into a new battle without carefully considering your options and the next steps that you should take. Write down your course of action, taking into consideration the step by step process you can go about to achieve your desired results: what do you need to do? who can help you? when? just some of the questions to guide you towards creating your road map to the new you.
I hope these questions can help prepare you for your upcoming transition, whatever that may look like for you.
Remember this always: You are just one decision away from your best life. Make it count.
Grow happily, Unicorn.
When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
So how many times have you heard this popular saying?
In my case, I lost count. Seriously.
Simply because, it's one thing I tell myself regularly when faced with uncertainty and challenging times.
Part of my own set of affirmations, you may say.
Come to think of it: it makes a lot of sense.
I mean how can you rise above the challenges as you face them head on if you don't toughen up?
Not just physically or mentally, but emotionally as well. Consider approaching this one holistically because at the end of the day, your entire wellness and wellbeing are at stake.
However, I believe that among those, it's our mindset that plays the biggest role when it comes to determining our success rate as we overcome challenges left and right.
This is where the value of working on your mental toughness comes into play.
Mental toughness is a quality of mind or intellect characterized by, among other things, a refusal to be intimidated, a determination to finish a contest even when things are going badly, and an ability to control emotions and remain highly focused when under the pressure of intense competition. (Oxford Definition).
At this point in time, I want you to quickly reflect: what do you do when you encounter a huge stumbling block in your own journey? How do you react?
Whatever your answer may be, know that it's ok. We all have different ways of responding to unwanted stimuli. So please don't start judging yourself this early. Haha!
Kidding aside, know though that oftentimes we become overwhelmed by the situation we are caught in because we let our heightened emotions take the lead. Taking this in consideration, it is very important to strengthen our mental toughness to allow us to still perform consistently despite what's happening around us by dealing mindfully with what's going on within us.
Remember, if you're mentally tough, you become less prone to experiencing stress, you become more motivated and confident as you adapt accordingly to any circumstance that may come your way, allowing you to learn and grow more in your own journey towards your own #bestmeever . Sounds amazing right?
Give yourself enough time and space to let your emotions settle down first so you don't react impulsively. Being mindful also allows you to explore only the things under your control as you recognize your priorities fully. This leads you to do away with the unnecessary distractions that can blur your decision making skills when you're feeling stressed.
2. Write down your thoughts
Fact: journaling can do wonders for you. By writing down your thoughts, you get to unburden yourself as you free your mind from unnecessary things taking up space. It also allows you to process your thoughts better as it provides you with an opportunity to revisit them some other time too as you come up with specific, workable goals that will best suit you. Best done with powerful coaching questions to help you align everything accordingly, with free pages that will allow you to just let your thoughts flow. If this resonates with you, please indulge my shameless plug about my #bestmeever life coaching planner which I recently launched to help people embark on their own self-discovery journey through journaling. Promise, it can help you big time.
3. Upskill
Learning a new skill allows you to become more confident as you equip yourself with the knowledge and practice you need to thrive in your own journey. Always remember that you are the best investment you can ever make so never feel bad when you invest on yourself and your growth by taking those classes, certification program or whatever it may be that will allow you to grow further.
4. Choose the people you surround yourself with
You become the 5 people you surround yourself with so please ensure to have positive thinkers, achievers, good natured ones only in your sacred space. Never engage with people who make you feel less of a person and know that having boundaries does not mean you're being discriminating; it actually means you know how to value yourself and that's where mental toughness stems from: knowing what is good for you and taking it to heart always.
5. Seek professional help
Ok: seeking professional help is never a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength as you are able to humbly accept that you still have room for growth and that you are willing to journey towards your best with someone who knows how. Don't wait for the last minute before you ask for help if you feel that you're spiraling down fast because of what's happening around (and within) you. As early as now, do your own research and find a mental health professional or a coach that can help you with your needs, based on their area of expertise, credentials and body of work. Trust me, it will all be worth it, because you are, too.
Anxieties, worries and stress will always be there.
But you don't have to give in to them.
Always remember that you're born to succeed.
And that you are, at the end of the day, mentally tough.
Question: what do you get from stressing over things, in general?
Answer: None.
So why do it time and again?
Beats me. Haha!
But seriously: do you find yourself so often worrying about alot of things that you feel so overwhelmed, unhappy and lost?
This is because you are holding on to a lot of things (and thoughts) that are weighing you down and making you feel that you need to resolve them all at the same time or find a way to escape.
Truth be told though: you don't have to.
It's basically the pressure from everyone else around you to conform with the norm and the extreme pressure you put on yourself to be in control always. Quite unhealthy, if I may say, in so many ways: physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, socially...and the list goes on, every time you stress yourself big time.
Taking those in consideration, it is very important to travel light as you journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever . Unburdening yourself from all the unnecessary stress allows you to go further and grow more in the process.
Close that chapter. It's over and done with, no matter how that will look like for you. Remember: stressing about it won't ever bring things back the way you want them to be. There are no rewinds; only flashbacks so instead of dwelling on what could have been, why not just focus on what is, here and now? At least you have the chance to create the changes you want for yourself as of the moment.
2. Your current state
Nothing is permanent in this world, including your current space. So if you're having difficulties as of the moment, know that it will pass. Same goes when you're having the best time of your life. Key here is to make the most of the moment. Stop overthinking or you'll miss out on the magic of the now. Allow yourself to be 100% present as you learn and grow from the experience, no matter how that will look like.
3. Things beyond your control
Being in an unfamiliar setting can be quite scary. And admittedly when things go wrong, as they sometimes will, we find ourselves struggling to regain control. However, in the process, we forget the beauty of surrendering when things beyond our control happen. Stressing over things beyond our control won't fix the matter on hand; letting things be as we take responsibility over our actions and trust the process, will.
4. Choosing what's best for you
You know yourself best and you are very much deserving as much as anyone else. Never stress yourself over the reactions of others whenever you choose what will make you genuinely happy, complete and fulfilled. It's your life; you don't need the approval of others to live the way you want to.
5. The future
Here's one thing for certain: no matter how prepared you are, you can't say for sure how the future will be. While it's good to invest early on, never deprive yourself to enjoy the present. Depriving yourself of today's joys won't ever guarantee a future that's worth living. Give yourself a chance to just be, today. Because that is what you deserve, here and now. Do all that you can, with all that you have and then let go and move on with your life as of the moment.
I hope this post allows you to unburden yourself from the unnecessary stress in your life as of the moment.
Remember: when you let go, you grow.
And that will always be worth it.
I have always loved writing.
And this is an understatement.
I fondly remember how I discovered my love for writing accidentally when I was tapped to join the school paper way back then in High School as a writer for the Sports Section. Me, in sports. Yes, I know. Haha!
But that particular experience started it all. From writing sports articles, I gradually shifted to writing literary and news pieces for the public to consume.
And during those formative teenage years as well, I finally found writing down my thoughts on my journal as something both liberating and empowering at the comforts of my private space then.
I guess that's how my love for journaling started. And up to this day, I continue doing that practice that sets my mind, body and spirit free.
Which basically became my inspiration for creating my best-selling #bestmeever book series and recently, the first ever #bestmeever Life Coaching Planner so others can experience the transformative change of journaling when it comes to their overall health and well-being. That is why I made sure that my planner has a bunch of free pages and wide writing spaces for flowing thoughts.
Writing can really do wonders for you. Like seriously.
Your mental health suffers when you keep on thinking about things that rob you of joy and brings you so much stress and anxiety instead. Journaling allows you to do a mental dump --- where in you just write down all your thoughts as of the given moment and analyze from there what needs your focus and what needs to go. You don't have to hold on to each and every thought you have all at once. This frees your mind from the burden of having to process all at the same time, allowing you to relax a little more in the process.
2. Journaling allows you to become clearer with your dreams
Having your own quiet time allows you to inquire deep within and tap on to your greatest aspirations amidst the hustle and bustle of the real world. Journaling about your goals and dreams allow you to visualize them clearly, understand them better and strategize there after. It is when you are alone and immersed in your own thoughts that you come from honesty and vulnerability about things that really excite you and makes your heart skip a beat.
3. Journaling helps you recognize your progress
Writing down your milestones, big or small, allows you to have something to remind you during days that are tougher than others. Perfect for those who want to document their personal development journey, whether it involves getting your desired body or learning a new skill, journaling allows you to celebrate yourself along the way as you fill each entry about your latest adventure, realization or achievement.
4. Journaling helps you manage your emotions better
When overwhelmed by emotions, writing down your thoughts allow you to manage them accordingly This form of release allows you to center all your energy into putting words on feelings which you can't explain , allowing you to analyze them better and deal with them there after. What I also like about this is that on a personal note, I have something to look back at when all the heightened emotions have settled and I can finally be rational again, enough to come up with the best, non-impulsive decision.
5. Journaling improves your productivity
How different will your life be if you get to learn and discover how to prioritize tasks, manage your time well and deliver results smartly? Well you can experience that and more through journaling as it helps you process your thoughts accordingly while you write them down. This action gives your brain a visual aid, which helps it work more efficiently without the need to dissect abstract concepts.
So have you thought about giving journaling a try yet?
Never too late to do so.
Who knows, you might find the next love of your life soon.
Writing.
You are exactly where you are meant to be.
I always say this to my coachees and mentees so that they will learn to be comfortable in embracing the current space they're in, no matter how that looks like.
I know, easier said than done.
Much like being compassionate, or changing behaviors you have gotten used to or getting rid of disappointments.
However, much like all those mentioned, it's still very much possible to enjoy the present and live life fully minus any form of regrets.
While some of our past seemingly painful experiences can bring about anxiety and worries, as it affects you overall wellness and well-being, it's important to note that those actually provided you with life long lessons you need in your personal journey.
Yes, I am talking about the decisions which you have made before which left you thinking at present if everything was well worth it because it doesn't seem that way.
Listen, don't overthink. Everything happens for a reason, good or bad, so that you get to learn and grow from them there after. So stop beating yourself up for decisions that may have led to unexpected results but you know for a fact were all grounded on beautiful, pure and clear intentions.
Sometimes you outgrow people and relationships, not because they're bad (or you're bad), but rather simply because, you are no longer in alignment. Even the most familiar person you've been with for the longest time can change, in the same way that you can too, but always remember that sharing spaces is a matter of choice. It can't be one-sided only. So when you feel that you no longer feel happy or inspired and you've done everything you can to make the relationship work, let go and be comfortable with it. It's meant to be that way. And more often than not, it's for the best. So don't ever regret your decision of making space for new people in your life who are in alignment with your whole being at present.
2. Pursuing your dreams and passion
I am a firm believer of going for whatever makes your heart skip a beat and whatever inspires you to be your best, no matter what age or status you may have at present. Never feel bad about making that decision to make your dream come true. You deserve to at least give it a try and see where it takes you. You are very much worthy of turning it into reality so hang on, keep the faith, keep going and keep growing. You'll make it someday.
3. Choosing yourself first
Never feel guilty for putting your needs and wants first at times. Remember: you can't give what you don't have so it's very much important to practice self-care and self-love so you can come from a space of overflow. You matter as much as anyone else so don't ever see yourself as a mere provider of everyone else's needs and wants. You're definitely more than that. And if people can't accept that, it's ok. Still allow yourself to do what's best for you. You deserve that so never feel bad for giving yourself what is due.
4. Starting all over again from scratch
You are never too young or too old to begin living the life you want. It may be difficult at first but know that it gets better if and when you stay committed to yourself and your growth. Never regret your decision of embracing the life you want just because others are making you feel bad about it. They will never understand. And that doesn't matter. It's your life and you know what's best because you'll be the one taking responsibility after.
5. Investing on yourself and your growth
You are the best investment you can ever make. So never regret spending for whatever it is that will bring you genuine happiness and help you grow in the process. Whether it's a new laptop, a certification program you've been wanting to take or a much needed vacation, go for it for as long as you take responsibility for each decision there after. Life is too short to deprive yourself of the opportunity to live fully as you become your own #bestmeever without any regrets.
I hope after reading this you get to see things in a new light.
You are who you are right now because of the decisions you made for yourself before. Embrace your being.
And it's such a beautiful experience to discover what still lies ahead as you move forward without any regrets.
I am excited for you.
Health is wealth.
This is perhaps one of the sayings we all grew up with.
I remember writing this down back then in grade school when I was answering a friend's autograph book (my, my, I missed this!).
This alongside my other favorite motto then "time is gold." Haha! I am sure you can all relate.
Kidding aside though, prioritizing my health has always been an advocacy of mine.
However, through the years, it has evolved from focusing on the physical aspect alone, to including several others: mental, social, emotional, financial...all of which comprise my definition of holistic wellness.
I have always believed that one should consider all the aspects that affects one's overall well-being and that it's ideal to treat each one equally to achieve that healthy balance, as part of becoming one's own #bestmeever .
Truth be told: you can't really function at your optimum if a certain aspect of your life holds you back e.g. your mindset, how you feel, the people around you, your finances -- yep all these have an impact in your growth so you must be mindful on how you address each aspects needs accordingly.
You deserve to pause. To rest and recalibrate. Don't ever feel guilty for giving yourself quality "me time". You are worthy of that, as much as everyone else. Avoid experiencing burn out by recognizing your own limits, needs and wants in the pursuit of your goals. Whether it's all about making pocket stops or taking a month long vacation, do what you must to keep you happy, inspired and charged up so you don't end up hating whatever it is that you're doing as of the moment. And yes, you don't have to hurry life.
2. Declutter your personal space
And no, I am not just talking about your messy room. Haha! But yeah, that's also included because remember: your physical space affects your mental health and your mood so always be mindful enough to keep it clean and tidy. Apart from that though, you may also want to declutter other aspects of your life which also influence your space: the people around you, your own behaviors and actions, situations you allow yourself to be in constantly -- know which of these you need to let go off because they no longer serve you and which ones you need to nurture so that you can grow even more. What you allow in your space influences you so know that you have the power to choose what's best for you.
3. Develop a healthy morning routine
How you start your day can greatly influence how the rest of your day will go. So it's very much important to start your day on a happy and healthy note: meditate for a few minutes after waking up, affirm yourself and practice gratitude before having a hearty breakfast, find time to exercise and be mindful enough to notice simple joys that can inspire you for the rest of the day. Do these every single day and notice how your life will change for the better there after.
4. Start a passion project
Do whatever it is that makes you feel happy, complete and fulfilled. Regardless of your age, it's never too late to work on your passion project because that will give your life new meaning as it uplifts your sense of purpose. So yeah, this is your sign to start that business, build that NGO or audition for that role you've always wanted. You are your only limitation, so don't let yourself (and your insecurities) get in the way of what you're meant to be. Keep going -- that gives your life new inspiration and meaning.
5. Invest on personal development
You will always be the best investment you can make so don't ever feel bad when you spend for yourself and your growth. You need to value yourself enough for you to seek for ways on how else you can improve and grow so that eventually, you will end up happier and more fulfilled. Take that class. Get a coach. Embark on a self-discovery journey. You deserve to give yourself the kind of life you've always wanted to have. Go for it. That will always be better than having a lot of regrets about what could have been in the future.
I hope these help you improve your overall wellness as you learn and discover more about yourself in the process.
May you always be at the pink of health in all aspects of your life.
Because you deserve it.
Keep going. Keep growing.
This has been my mantra since after I celebrated my 42nd better last August 12 in Bangkok.
And yes, I had a grand time as I took my coaching hat off for almost two weeks and just let myself enjoy each and every moment with my loved ones during that trip.
What made that celebration even more special is the fact that my social media platforms and phone were filled with heartfelt greetings and well-wishers. I felt the love from all over. Never knew I mattered that much to a lot of people beyond expectations. And for that I am grateful. I just have to put it out here so that each and everyone who celebrated with me then will know. Again, thank you guys. You made this Unicorn very happy.
After blowing my official birthday candle then during our dinner at Baiyoke Sky Hotel, I had some ample time to reflect on what I wanted to do for the rest of my life as this new chapter unfolds.
I mean, I have always been a planner: I know what needs to be done upon going back to Manila, what my next steps will be, what programs I will be launching and how can make my 42nd year even more amazing.
Yeah, it was all about moving on and forward.
But then it struck me as well: in order to keep going, I must also stop a number of things, behaviors and whatever is holding me back from becoming my own #bestmeever .
And that isn't exactly easy, you know. Coming from honesty and vulnerability, much like everyone else, I have grown to be so comfortable with a number of things, people and situations, both knowingly and unknowingly, hinder my progress and prevents me from becoming truly happier in my space.
However, truth be told, I know that it will be all worth it when I muster all my strength to finally cut ties with these things that short change my own value as a person.
I hope that by sharing these with you, I know that one way or another you can relate too. My goal is not to be perfect in your eyes (or mine) but rather to show each one of us are very much alike and we are in this together.
And yes, you don't have to wait for your birthday to take action. Let's do this together now, shall we?
Presenting to you the top 5 things I intend to fully stop to allow myself to grow further in my 42nd year of existence:
It is what it is. While it's important to see the goodness in each and every person that I meet, I should not allow that perspective to blur what is here and now. Yeah, sometimes people are not just really having a bad day; it can be their usual reaction towards others and I must be mindful of that. Being totally open instead and coming from a genuine space of concern, I want to be more comfortable in telling people how things are from my end for as long as I am clear and honest with my intentions of doing so. After all, I am a firm believer that tolerating any form of bad behavior isn't exactly a sign of love.
2. Feeling guilty for letting people go
Not everyone has to play a part in our story, even those who have been with us for quite sometime but because of reason or two, have changed along the way. And that is fully ok. To outgrow people, To realize that we are no longer on the same page. To let them and myself be. It doesn't make any of us a bad person. It only makes us respect our personal spaces more. So I guess there's no sense of feeling bad about giving ourselves what is due in the first place: the freedom to grow on our own.
3. Allowing others to take me for granted
While I have been known to be kind and patient, I can't just let myself be in a one-sided relationship. I need to be more mindful of the circle I keep and what value they provide me as well. I mean, I can't just be too lenient when working with friends or family when it comes to agreed upon deliverables because exceptional output has nothing to do with the relationship but on one's commitment. Note to self: I don't have to please everyone and it's not my responsibility to save everyone as well. So this year, I am allowing myself to just be with people who know how to acknowledge and appreciate my value as they inspire me to be my best through good times and bad times. And that goes both ways, mind you. Because that is what we all truly deserve.
4. Overlooking the value of here and now
Admittedly there are times when life seems to be overwhelming: work, responsibilities, goals, expectations among others. But hey, it's best to remember that what we can only control is what is here and now ---and there are times we don't even have to be in control. I guess in this case, I need to allow myself to be 100% present wherever I am , without having to worry about the multiple hats I wear. And yes, I know I no longer need to wear them always at the same time. Because they don't define me. And what is important is how I make the most of today because that's the only thing for certain by simply letting myself be: flowing and free.
5. Thinking that I am invincible
Ok, admittedly that as we age, we forget that we also have new needs and wants to be addressed and a number of new limitations to accept. That's the hard part. While I know that I am in good shape, it's also important to acknowledge that staying up way late at night or engaging in super strenuous and highly stressful activities are no longer my cup of tea. I need to understand and accept that my body is changing and so I must support it with the tender loving care it deserves. It's all about recalibrating my adventures and how I view fun and excitement in my life. And no, I don't feel the need to belong to do this because I am doing it for myself and my own well-being, something far more important than simply fitting in.
Whew, that was a handful. However, what's good now is that we can be quite accountable for each other as we journey towards our own #bestmeever .
Because when we put all these on my list on a hard stop, there's no stopping us from growing and becoming the person we are meant to be.
Excited for that to happen.
Based on actual experience: There will always be at least one person who will hate you for no reason at all, regardless if you're not doing anything wrong.
Can relate? Quite factual actually.
I have yet to be in a space where politics does not exist and gossiping is a thing of the past. And mind you, I have always been conscious enough to not get myself involve in any way simply because to be honest, I don't need any form of negativity in my space.
I guess that itself makes me a target of gossips: because I don't give a F*CK. Haha!
Admittedly though, when I was younger, I was fond of confronting people left and right, wanting to prove a point and assert myself in the process. That was me operating from my huge, bruised ego.
But now, through coaching, I have become more and more mindful about my actions as I gained clarity about what really matters most: my space, my peace.
The first step really is to understand why people gossip behind your back. Because with understanding you get to accept people as they are and free yourself from the notion that what they're doing is really all about you.
Because it's not. Really. I mean gossips are mere hear says. All assumptions. No facts.
You might be asking now: why do some people like to engage in it?
I can sum up some of the reasons why for your understanding, not tolerance: they feel insecure. They want to belong. Ego is hurting. They have nothing great happening in their lives as of the moment and they long for excitement. They want to gain sympathy by playing victim in their stories.
Reading through this, I know that it's still very hard to let them off the hook easily but practicing compassion, not only for them but towards yourself too, can do wonders for you as you deal with gossips accordingly.
If you're the listener, ask for proof. If you're the subject, hold on to your facts. You don't have to shove everything up their throats though. Just be prepared to show them when asked because at the end of the day, those screen shots, witnesses and other pieces of proof can vindicate you in no time. It's also fun to watch gossipers scramble in panic when they can't produce proof about their gossips. They'd probably leave you alone because you'll be no fun for them as an absorber.
2. Detach yourself from the rumors spreading around
You don't have to blame yourself for the situation or doubt yourself and your worth in the process. Again, their opinion is not your truth. You know better. And for as long as you have proof to show, walk on with your head up high and let the rumors around you die a natural death.
3. Let others experience you differently
When other people are questioning your capabilities or your worth, show them who you are and what you're really made of instead. Don't waste your time arguing with people who won't really give you a chance to prove yourself. Focus on just moving on, day after day, unbothered and focused on yourself and your growth as you journey towards your own #bestmeever and let others experience you as you are, outside of the rumors surrounding you. That is a game changer indeed.
4. Focus on being genuinely happy and in succeeding
Turn those gossips into stepping stones towards your happiness and biggest goals. Remember, people who are trying to pull you down are actually underneath you in so many ways so stay undaunted. Don't be distracted by unnecessary chatter that don't really contribute to your growth and happiness Let them be and just live each day as you please, letting yourself flourish fully along the way. Remember: success and genuine happiness can be the best form of revenge without even having to lift a finger to prove a point to your bashers.
5. Surround yourself with the right people
Don't go out explaining yourself to people who don't really matter. Be with people who genuinely love and support you. Know that for as long as they know your truth, that will always be more than enough. Let them be the ones to put in good words for you. There are always two sides of the stories, but yours become powerful when others speak on your behalf about your worth and what's really true. Take this to heart: real friends and family will defend you in your absence. Such a comforting thought.
I hope this list empowers you the next time you experience being the talk of the town.
Remember: people close to you will always verify facts with you. Those who take just one side are not your people. And that's ok. You can't please everyone.
But you can always choose to hold on to your truth and the facts surrounding it.
Never compromise your credibility and integrity just because others have failed to see it.
It's never about them and their gossips to begin with.
So don't stoop down their level.
Reflect on this: why does it seem harder to forgive ourselves than others when things go wrong?
Interesting question right? But very much relatable.
Oftentimes we beat ourselves up relentlessly whenever we experience failures, disappointments and unforeseen situations, most of which beyond our control.
And as we do this, we forget this very important fact: that no matter how bad we treat ourselves, that won't be the solution to whatever concern we may have on-hand. In fact, that can even make things worse. And yes, same goes for those who have thought of committing suicide or any form of self-harm to resolve their issues. This is your reminder.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will, the key here is to practice self-compassion: giving yourself that full understanding, love and support that will allow you to forgive yourself and move on and forward from the experience minus the blame game.
Here are 5 things you can do to practice self-compassion:
You don't have to be perfect to become your own #bestmeever ; you just have to give all that you've got, with all that you are each and every time an opportunity arises, regardless of the results there after. You are allowed to commit mistakes and your flaws don't make you less deserving as a person. As you are now, as you strive to better, that's more than enough.
2. Acknowledge how far you've gone in your journey
Don't be caught up too much in the present chaos. Reflect on your previous success and give yourself more credit. You've made it this far. And you owe that to yourself. The least you can do is be kinder to yourself along the way, because you deserve that as you do your best.
3. Don't let the pressure around you get the best of you
Fact: no matter how good you are, people will always judge you based on their standards and their experiences. And that's ok. You don't have to take their opinions to heart. You know yourself better. Treating yourself like trash won't change their views about you so why bother? Focus on improving yourself and let your success do the talking. You don't need to stress yourself out trying to explain to others why things happened as they did or why you're not the person they paint you to be. You don't owe anyone any explanation for letting yourself be so don't be too hard on yourself when you feel pressured.
4. Remember that everything is temporary
You will always remember how badly you treated yourself long after the unfortunate event is over, leaving you with feelings of guilt, shame and anger. And those emotions can weigh you down big time, stopping you from achieving the growth you want in the first place. So never do any permanent harm to yourself over something that's temporary. Instead reflect: will this issue of mine still matter after a day, a week, a month or a year's time? If not, let go and forgive yourself. No sense of holding on to something that does not have a long term, life-changing impact on your life anyway.
5. Be mindful about silver linings
I say this time and again: everything happens for a reason. So behind each and every painful life experience is a beautiful lesson that will help you move on and forward. Focus on those. They matter more. It may not seem that way yet at present but those lessons will help you go and grow further in life only if you take them to heart. By accepting things as they are, understanding and forgiving yourself along the way, you allow yourself to grow in harmony with the flow life has in store for you. Stop resisting. Start trusting more.
At the end of the day, know that regardless of whatever you've been through and whatever space you're in as of the moment, know that your experiences don't define you and your worth.
Because each one of us is special in our own way, flaws included.
And that makes us all worthy of forgiveness and second, at times even a third, and fourth, chances.
Without commitment, you cannot succeed.
This is one thing I take to heart seriously.
Let's face it: it's not that easy to pursue goals, especially if they're big ones.
And I am talking about life-changing, industry-disrupting dreams that we all have.
On the other hand, admittedly though, at times, even the smallest steps seem so hard.
There are days that we feel that we are not our best, that things are not working out as planned, that nothing is happening.
It's during those days when our confidence hits low, our productivity slows down and our joyful, optimistic smiles fade into oblivion.
Yep, those days make us question our worth and if our dreams are still worth pursuing. It also affects the relationships we have not only with others, but with ourselves as well.
That's when commitment comes to play.
It holds everything together: your self-esteem, your focus, your motivation and your ability to endure and grow.
That is why it's very important to stay committed to not only your goals, but your over-all wellness and wellbeing relationships included, no matter how difficult life may be at times.
Commitment amplifies your credibility and integrity, promotes consistency and resilience and helps you face challenges with the least resistance. It anchors heavily on your purpose and core values, which are driving forces when pursuing your own dreams and goals as you become your own #bestmeever .
Staying committed is easier said than done. However, if you find yourself in that space now as you struggle with your commitments, whether to yourself, to your work or even with others, then this blog post is for you. Remember, not honoring your commitments can lead to broken relationships, lost opportunities and dreams unfulfilled so it's very important to keep your word always.
Forgetting about your commitment is never a valid excuse. You can never be too busy to honor your promise. Write down all your agreements, whether with others or yourself, and set specific dates to remind you of them. On a personal note, I always jot down my reminders on my smart phone and set alarms on them in my calendar so I will always remember and never miss anything a long the way. I also have a habit of scanning my notes/calendars before my day starts and after a day's work to ensure that I got everything covered. You may also try to post them (works best with goals) in random areas where you can see them everyday so that you are made aware of them consistently.
2. Start with small steps then gradually adjust accordingly
While looking at the big picture (and getting inspired by it) is key, it can also be scary at times because it seems way out there when one is just starting. Chunking down the things to be done and turning them to bite sized efforts makes them more doable and allows you to slide into the new routine easier. Once you're comfortable, you can gradually increase the effort, consistency and time that you spend in pursuing your goals so that you amplify your progress seamlessly without having to stress or pressure yourself to go big immediately.
3. Revisit your "WHY"
I used the word "revisit" here because sometimes, our personal "WHY" changes along the way. We may realize that we wanted to achieve something initially just because we want to prove others wrong or make a point without realizing that underneath it, we are longing to address an emotional void that we were overlooking. Along the way, check on your reasons for wanting to pursue your goals. See if they are still in alignment. If not, tweak them as you wish. Remember at the end of the day, you must pursue what's true and genuinely meaningful for you so that you can stay committed.
To stay committed, go beyond the usual celebration of milestones and wins. Choose to celebrate what you have in your space instead coming from a space of gratitude. Whether things are moving fast or life seems to be paused to give you time to reflect and recalibrate your commitment, appreciate the space you're in and know that you are exactly where you're meant to be. Ask yourself this: how can my current space help strengthen my commitment to myself, my goals and others?
5. Rest and recalibrate
You don't always have to be functioning at your 100% nor always in the hot pursuit of your goals. Allow yourself to breathe and just let yourself be. You deserve that time off too to honor yourself. You're doing a good job in being mindful about your commitments, but don't push yourself too hard to the point of getting burned out while doing so. Having renewed energy can fuel up your commitment in the long run.
Commitment is a big word. Having it can give you larger than life benefits.
So never take yours for granted.
