Currently in my self-work era.
You read it right.
Actually, since last December, I have already decided on that the first quarter of 2025 will be spent on working on myself as I invest on my growth so I can be my own #bestmeever .
So I already made sure that everything was in place: lessen my commitments, free my schedule to insert new routines and time for learning, while giving my best to what’s on my plate as of the moment as I prioritize myself and my growth.
Mindset = Check. Heartset = Check. Willingness = Check. Commitment = Check.
Admittedly, there’s one thing that’s still a work in progress at the moment.
And I am sure you can relate with me on this: it’s difficult to stay disciplined when times are harder than usual and temptations surround you 24/7.
Take this time to reflect: what situation challenges your discipline the most?
Dieting?
Use of social media?
Shopping?
Dating around?
Of course, whatever your answer may be, know that much like before and always, this is a no judgment zone.
What is important here is to be aware of situations that trigger our loss of our own self-discipline and how we can manage them better.
Coming from vulnerability, upon enrolling in my Kaizen program this year (it’s a 100 day fitness and personal development program), it has been quite a struggle for me to daily monitor my calories, work out and log everything I do and eat. Haha!
So in the beginning, I found myself just coasting by, letting myself give in to sweet treats and buffets once in a while. Fortunately though, 3 weeks now in the program, I caught myself and vowed to be more disciplined in my approach.
After all, it’s for myself and my growth.
And so far, it’s working for me.
Mandatory. I mean, you can’t practice discipline without knowing what the end goal will be. Make sure that your goal follows the SMART format (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time Bound) so that you get a clear picture of what you want to achieve. Don’t just settle for general terms like I want to be happy, to be fit, to get rich. Be as precise as possible so you can focus fully on achieving just that. Having a vivid vision of having my own best body ever with 20% body fat as I come from joy by May 1, 2025 is what kept me going as I do my daily work outs and observe what I eat mindfully. Funny thing is that last night, I had a glimpse of what it would look like in my dream. Manifesting. Haha!
2. Have a beyond compelling reason to achieve your desired goal
Ok. In my case, it’s not just about vanity. And it goes beyond being summer ready. My main reason is that my coaching platform, #bestmeever , is all about becoming one’s authentic, unapologetic, grandest version….which includes the physical, mental and emotional aspects as well, things which are also taken in consideration in the program I am enrolled in. I would want to walk the talk, thus I need to embrace my own journey towards becoming my best by humbly enduring the entire process, listening to lectures, doing the action steps in between and engaging with others in the program along the way so I can be of value to them and vise versa. Indeed, it’s very true that when days are harder than usual, when I am at the brink of just throwing in the towel, I always try to recall why I started and what is the value of all these for myself and my growth. Grounds me immediately, swear.
3. Develop a strategic plan.
No, I am not talking about mere bullet points or random words that inspire action. I am talking about concrete steps that will help you achieve your goal in mind. Being strategic means aligning each and every action, behavior and mindset of yours towards the fulfillment of your desired results. In my case, I plot my schedule accordingly to fit in my work outs and mindful breaks in between, while monitoring dutifully my calories intake and reflecting how I can still improve moving forward. Being disciplined in this case becomes easier for me as I have a structure to follow, versus before where in everything was merely dependent on my mood or what I felt like doing at that point in time. P.S. it also helps that you plan your small steps first while keeping in mind the big picture so that you don’t get overwhelmed in the process —something that causes one to lose track of his/her purpose and stray away from his/her goals. Start small and then when you’re ready, go big (I am not sure how this came out, haha!).
4. Honor yourself along the way
Give yourself more credit for doing all that you can, with all that you have. That will always be more than enough. Affirming yourself along the way can help you stay disciplined in the process as you don’t have to wait for anyone else’s validation or anchor yourself on desired results that have yet to come. Big or small, every win is worth celebrating. And oh, you can even be grateful for slow days as they give you the chance to reflect, recharge and recalibrate accordingly so you can bounce back even better than before. In my case, I always say “thank you” and “good job” to myself every after accomplishing a task or when I manage to fight off laziness when I need to do my morning cardio. And yes, most of the time, with discipline intact, I win over my bed’s call. Yey! Try sharing your wins too. It’s not being arrogant; it’s all about honoring yourself and inspiring others to do the same as they celebrate with you.
5. Surround yourself with accountability partners
Police. This is what I call people who have my back whenever I feel like going astray. Involving your family, friends, significant other or whoever else that can keep a watch on you can do wonders for you and your journey as you stay disciplined in pursuing your goals. Taking inspiration from them and giving value to their words of encouragement and support can keep you going even during the toughest days. I like the set up that we have now in the Kaizen community where in we have accountability buddies and our designated coach (Shout out to Ciento Por Ciento and Coach Ben) whom we can reach out for support when reaching our targets daily become challenging and the cravings beyond bearable. Haha! A wonderful bonus also that the entire community is filled with like-minded individuals who are more than willing to give a helping hand or a word of encouragement as needed. Who can ever go astray with all eyes on you? Thank God for the amazing support system.
Working on one’s self requires a whole lot of time, effort, resources and discipline.
Hopefully, after reading this, you will have all in your current space as you work on the person you’re meant to be.
Your own #bestmeever.
Let’s continue happily with our journey!
“Always be nice.”
I think this is one of the most misunderstood statements our parents and teachers have told us through the years.
I mean, if you were like me, I used to interpret that as you always have to obey others, conform with the norm and say yes to everything thrown at you.
It didn’t help that statement was further reinforced with punishments when not observed accordingly based on the expectations of others.
You see back then I equated being nice with having no boundaries and pleasing others all the time so I can get the validation I wanted.
And looking back, it didn’t do me any good at all.
In general, people pleasing makes you forget your own value as you struggle to meet the needs and wants of others while setting aside your own.
This leads you to believe that validation can only come from external sources e.g. family, friends, significant others or even random strangers which make it totally unhealthy and unsustainable as you drain yourself in the process.
In the same regard, unknown to many, people pleasing also amplifies one’s ego, making a person think that he “actually looks good in the eyes of others as he does what is right and due”.
No truth to that at all.
So now, I would like to clear the definition of being nice.
Being nice means giving yourself what is due so you can do the same for others without compromising your self-worth.
There I said it.
Kindness is a two way street. Give yourself what you’re willingly giving others. Being kind to yourself means acknowledging your own needs and wants without feeling guilty, so you will be able to whole heartedly provide for others coming from a space of inspiration instead of obligation. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
2. Allow yourself to disappoint others
Hear me out on this: if disappointing others means you are able to give yourself the kind of love and care that you deserve, so be it. At the end of the day, you don’t want people to stay in your life just because they benefit from you. Check on the relationships you keep — who are really there for you through thick and thin? Those people will understand if you choose to attend to your personal needs as well because they value you outside of what you can do for them. Also, in general, audience impact is only 10% in any criteria for judging so don’t worry about not getting the nods of others who don’t deserve to be in your space. Haha!
3. List down the things that make you feel good about yourself
As we focus too much in pleasing others, at times we forget how amazing we are. So it’s best to create a list of your achievements, skills and talents and include anything and everything else that makes you appreciate yourself more. You are far valuable than you can ever imagine and as you come from a space of self-worth, you do away with the need to get any validation from others there after. There is so much power when you affirm yourself.
4. Surround yourself with people who are genuinely there for you
Be with people who treat you like you genuinely matter. They are the ones who can inspire you to keep moving forward when saying NO becomes tougher than usual or when you see yourself falling into the spiral once more of people pleasing. Have people check in on you and be sure to be brave and humble enough to seek help when needed. You deserve to be seen, heard, felt and celebrated as you are. Never forget that.
5. Invest on yourself and your growth
Oftentimes, we find ourselves wanting to compensate for our own insecurities by pleasing others, hoping that their approval will make our self doubts go away. However, that isn’t exactly the case. Dealing with your own insecurities so they don’t take the lead in your relationships is imperative. This simply means that you should be willing to work on yourself as you invest on your self and your growth. How can you take care of yourself better? What do you need in order to grow more? Whether it’s a time off from everyone around you, or learning a new skill or finally deciding for yourself…do it. That way, you get to discover and become your own #bestmeever regardless of what others may have to do or say. You don’t need their approval anyway.
To know your true worth, you don’t have to please people to get their validation.
You just have to inquire within and appreciate yourself as you are.
You matter. Always. In always.
Starting all over again isn’t exactly a walk in the park.
Truth be told, that’s actually an understatement.
I mean, let’s be honest: who wants to start from scratch anyway?
Especially if you have invested so much time, effort and resources into building something which unfortunately didn’t work out as planned.
Like a relationship which didn’t prosper.
A business that folded up.
A change of career that didn’t push through.
Expectations that weren’t met accordingly.
And a bunch of other stuff that required you to build yourself (and your broken self esteem) from ground zero up once more.
Consider this though: starting from scratch isn’t all that bad, most especially if you see the value in doing so.
Remember: starting all over again allows you to rebuild your life exactly the way you want it to be, as you considered all the lessons you have learned from things that initially fell apart.
Yep, they had to happen so that you will have a clearer idea of what can still be improved in your space so that you eventually end up with the life you want and deserve as you become your own #bestmeever in the process.
Stop resisting. Trust the process. Acknowledge the space you’re in and come from humility and openness. Remember: you can’t make the most of your journey if you keep on running away or fighting back the experiences that will help mold you into the person you need to become for your next chapter. Do away first with your biases and assumptions because they blur beautiful possibilities and instill unwarranted fear.
2. Stop obsessing over the past
Psst. It’s over and done with. There’s nothing you can do to bring back time. And you shouldn’t even try. Channel all your what could have beens to what can still be as you focus on the now. Be at peace with letting go knowing that all things that have happened (and the relationships that you had) already served their purpose. Let them be as you set yourself free from all the things weighing you down so you can create more space for better things to come into your life.
3. Determine how your next chapter will look like
Without any clear goal, starting all over again isn’t really possible. I mean, knowing where you want to go and vividly having an idea of your desired next chapter allows you to plan your next steps based on what is still under your control. In the process of visualizing your desired new story plot, make sure you don’t limit yourself based on what you’ve been through or going through at present. Both will change, depending on the work you put in as you move forward. Explore possibilities. If nothing can stop you and everything is possible, how will your next chapter be like? Reflect. And make sure it’s one you truly like.
4. Dream big, start small
Don’t overwhelm yourself with the grandness of your desired next chapter. Chunk down your action plans into small steps. Be mindful about going at your own pace as you focus on your own goals and space. Also, know that your progress isn’t determined just by the steps you take forward, but rather, even as you pause or completely stop to reflect and recalibrate, you’re actually growing. So be kinder to yourself as you just do what you can with all that you have. That will always be more than enough.
5. Surround yourself with supportive people
Knowing that you are not alone in your journey can do wonders for you. Involve people who are closest to your heart in your journey and let them shower you with that much needed and deserved love and support when days seem tougher than usual. Celebrate with them your progress and allow them to inspire you as you move forward in life. You may want to document your journey as well and share it to the rest of the world, because for all you know, you are the inspiration someone, somewhere out there, needs at this point in time. You, moving on, has a purpose too.
To move on and start all over again is a matter of choice.
One that you truly deserve to give yourself.
And that starts by committing to starting all over again.
May this demarcate your Day 1.
I win. Every single day. Every single way.
Well, this is how I like to see things, to be candid about it.
Ever since I started practicing gratitude, the way I see (and experience) things changed for the better and I got to make the most of my life more, amidst its twists and turns.
For me, there are good days and days for learning. There. Just the two.
And on that note, given that choice, I always win.
I know it’s quite easy to celebrate huge milestones and bask in the glory, but truth be told, small ones matter as much. They keep you going. And even slow days are worth celebrating. Be comfortable with them.
This is just one of the beautiful truths about winning in life: size does not matter.
By embracing this, you get to enjoy and experience life more.
You don’t have to wait for others to validate you to feel that you have succeeded in a task or achieved a certain goal. Winning is a feeling, and it is felt by choice and by being mindful and appreciative of your own worth and effort. Those can never be compensated by what others have to offer you (or not). The key here is to come from a space of self-love and knowing your worth that goes beyond any achievement. In my case, during the times I lost in a competition or rejected for a project, I still look for the silver linings. And believe me, there are a lot. Being given the chance to improve myself, to explore other options and to try again for even better ones are just some of the beautiful opportunities hidden in every seemingly painful situations.
2. Winning takes time
Success doesn’t happen overnight. And if it does, most often than not, it’s not sustainable or scalable to some extent. So stop rushing things. Take your time as you pour in the committed work bundled with the clearest intentions so that you get to appreciate your journey every step of the way. Mind you, it took me 7 years worth of hard work, blood, sweat and tears, unwavering commitment, countless rejections and a good number of client testimonials before I won the Gold in the Best Life Coach Category in the 2024 Coach Awards (Shout out to all those people who made this possible — you know who you are). But mind you: I got to enjoy, humble myself, learn and grow in my journey as a budding life coach finding his way as he lives his purpose years back even before that huge milestone which opened a lot of new doors. Looking back at my entire experience humbles me in the process and makes me appreciate the time spent on working on myself and my craft. All worth it.
3. Not everyone will celebrate your win with you
When the going gets tough, or when you enter a competition, you will see who has your back fully. What I learned based on experience: there will be some people whom you are counting on who will not show up. There will be others who will give you half-hearted support, those who genuinely love and support you unconditionally and there will be total strangers rallying for you to your surprise. And when you win, you will see the people who helped you all through out and those who are celebrating you (and with you), those who just watched and waited to see your results before celebrating you and those who totally disappear in the process. And guess what? That’s totally fine. It’s your win. Share it because you deserve it as your intention is to inspire, and leave it to people on how they will accept it. That’s beyond your control so just let go and accept things as they are.
4. To really win, you must feel genuinely happy, complete and fulfilled
Don’t pay for awards. Don’t fake anything. You don’t have to look good in the eyes of others to win in this lifetime. Winning becomes priceless when you know deep within that you truly deserved it. Take up space as the imperfect version of yourself and just do your best as you focus on things which really spark joy and inspire you fully. That will always be more than enough, regardless of the result you may have.
5. To win in life, you just have to embrace your own #bestmeever
Be the person you’re meant to be, not what every one else around you expects you to be or what you thought you should be. Set yourself free and embrace your authentic, unapologetic, grandest version of yourself, your own #bestmeever , no matter how that may look like for you with 100% commitment. Stop trying to be like someone else or merely replicating what others have done to succeed in their journey. Own yours by creating your own path and doing what’s best for you — that itself is a huge win. To be a disruptor in your chosen space to inspire others to carve their own destiny as well. Whether you choose to become a best selling author, or a business man, a house wife or whatever it is that you want to be, for as long as it’s true and you’re genuinely happy, you do you.
I hope now you have a better appreciation of how to really win in life.
And by reading this, you’ve already won.
Congratulations.
New year, new you.
How many times have you heard this?
Many I suppose. Year on year even.
There’s something about wanting to start the year right by turning a new leaf.
Quite timely and relevant if I may say.
I mean, after learning all the valuable lessons from the year that was, I am sure that when you take them to heart, you get to become your #bestmeever in the process.
Speaking of becoming better, the new year I believe is also the perfect time to explore and try out new things as you align yourself with what is dearly true to you.
So before even coming from a space of resistance or fear, try to consider this: you have nothing to lose but much to gain if you focus on (and commit to) improving yourself in the year to come.
Upskiling can do wonders for you, not only in terms of your career but also in terms of having personal fulfillment. Time to reflect: what skill do you need now that can allow you to upgrade your life? In my case, year on year, I try to get myself certified and trained for a new coaching discipline or any other complimentary skill that I can use in my coaching practice e.g. utilizing a new app etc. Whatever that may be, it’s never too late to learn it and use it moving forward. Just make sure you’re also interested in it and fully committed to the skill on hand so you don’t waste your time and effort.
2. A new hobby
Focusing too much on work can burn you out. Try to find a new hobby that you think you will truly enjoy and can help you decompress and relax amidst the your busy schedule. My suggestion: think of a hobby that can bring out your creativity. Or one that can help you earn money. Or even one that simply fills your heart with joy and fulfillment at the end of the day. It will be beautiful if you find all of those in one particular hobby. So whether that’s painting artworks or working out at the gym or even traveling, do what you feel your heart is telling you to do. It will lead you to what you truly need.
3. A new job
I have been out of the corporate setting for over 2 decades now so is resigning during December after getting the bonuses still a trend? Haha! Please enlighten me. But hey seriously, I think more than just getting the bonuses, I feel that the holidays have allowed people to reflect fully on what truly matters to them and what job makes their heart skip a beat. I will say this again: it’s never too late to start all over again and pursue a career that you find most meaningful. I mean, look at me: I traded my corporate hat before as a marketing and advertising executive to become a full-time professional coach. I mean admittedly the entire journey wasn’t a walk in the park but hey, looking back, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made because I get to do what I love most, have time and location freedom and feel genuinely happy and fulfilled as I change lives of others on a daily basis. So yeah, maybe this is the sign you’re looking for to finally give your CV a much-needed update and boost.
4. A new relationship
Ok, before you raise an eyebrow, it’s not just really about a romantic relationship. But hey, no one’s stopping you though if that’s what you truly want and you’re really ready to have one. A new relationship here can mean redefining your current one, whether it’s on a romantic, familial or work note. It can even refer to the one you have with yourself. The key here is to reflect on this question: what can make my relationship better? Answer honestly and give yourself whatever it is you need there after simply because, you deserve to grow in harmony with all the relationships you choose to keep.
5. A new mindset
“Whether you’re wrong or right, if you believe it, you’re right.” Can’t agree more. The new year presents a beautiful opportunity to check on your belief systems that no longer work for you or your mental patterns that hold you back. Allow yourself to come from a space of honesty and vulnerability so you can fully identify and address your mindset concerns. Consider the new year as a fresh start. However, mind you though: changing your mindset does not have to be scheduled during the new year alone – it’s actually a continuous process all year round and beyond. The key here is just to allow yourself to finally start seeing (and doing) things differently so you can have a different set of results too in your life.
Wishing you the best in 2025 and looking forward to seeing the new you!
It’s better to give than to receive.
One of the most popular quotes I grew up with.
Mind you, it applies to life in general. And not just during the holidays.
Admittedly though, however, planning what to give people this Christmas can be so stressful at times.
A lot of things to consider: the likes of the person, the budget, how to wrap it, where and when to send it….and the list goes on.
Ok, before you judge yourself: you are not over reacting. You only want what’s best for the recipient of your gift. Of course you want that person who means a lot to you become genuinely happy and feel appreciated fully.
But what if there was another way to achieve your desired results minus the stress and over thinking ?
I mean, at the end of the day, it’s not about how grand your gift is; it’s about how heartfelt your intentions are behind what you’re giving.
Time is the best gift you can give anyone, whether during Christmas time or not. Trust me, your presence means a lot. There are people who get so lonely during the holidays and no material gift can take the place of someone’s good company. Brave the traffic. Invite people (or yourself) over. Just be there to celebrate the holidays with people who are closest to your heart. It can change their lives. And yours too.
2. A hand-written love letter
It’s very rare nowadays to see long, love-filled letters from the heart so receiving them can be quite a pleasant surprise. I don’t know about you but there’s something about reading hand-written letters that makes me feel warm and appreciated all over. I like the rawness of the thoughts and the idea that the person giving it to me was writing it coming from an inspired space. All you need is a clean sheet of paper (if you still have stationaries, please—another rare gem!) and your trusty pen (I like mine in different shades which don’t blot) plus a nice, cozy space where you can pour your heart out as you write the most beautiful love letter yet.
3. Something you made by yourself
It’s time to put your skills and talents into meaningful use! Draw an artwork. Record a song. Compose a poem. Bake a cake (yummy). Create a video greeting. Whatever it is you’re good at (or even if not!), you can always create something beautiful if it comes from the heart. As they say, it’s the thought that counts and for sure your efforts will be greatly appreciated because those types of gifts give lasting impressions.
4. An opportunity to grow
Growth is one of the best gifts you can give to another person as it lasts long after the holidays are over. Whether it’s a pre-paid coaching program or a gym membership or even a self-care package , all these can help improve the overall wellness and well-being of your loved ones, allowing them to grow in harmony with life, no matter what space they’re in at present. Wouldn’t it be amazing to be part of someone’s milestones? You can be just that.
5. A prayer
It’s a divine experience knowing that someone prayed for you or offered their intentions during mass for your safety and wellbeing. I don’t know about you but it makes me feel so loved when someone tells me that he/she prayed for me. The good thing about this is that this gift is not religion centric; you can practice your faith and pray for your loved ones to whomever you believe is your diving being. With the clearest intentions, I am sure your prayers will be heard one way or another. Another plus: you can do this at your convenience, when you’re 100% present.
I hope my list today gave you an idea on how you can make the holidays for others even more special.
Remember though, while you have the power to give these beautiful gifts to others, you can also gift yourself with the same, by choice.
You are worthy, much like everyone else, to have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Time is gold.
I think that is one of the most famous quotes I grew up with.
However admittedly, back then when I was younger, I used to appreciate it on a superficial note.
As a mere answer to an autograph book question or to have something “profound” posted on my wall.
Through the years though, I saw it differently as I aged.
Much like how brought that to the surface when a coachee of mine submitted a list of his, 8 minutes past our agreed upon deadline.
While he had his own reasons, I wanted him to reflect on a question that perhaps can change his view about time (and life ) in general:
What do you think is the value of 8 minutes in your life?
And that led to a deeper understanding and appreciation of his commitment to himself and his growth.
I think through the years, with heightened awareness and new sets of experiences, I began to appreciate the value of time at its core, something which I impart generously to all of my coachees and mentees as they work on becoming the person they’re meant to be.
And I don’t just mean long term or seasonal changes brought about as time goes by. I also see value in each and every second that passes my life by, making sure that no time is wasted just because of uncalled for reactions towards unforeseen events.
Don’t get me wrong: not wasting time does not mean you always have to be on the go, moving forward and chasing your goals relentlessly. It’s all about the mindful use of time, no matter how long or short and that may be. And being mindful about it means making the most of it, whether resting, pausing or just letting yourself be in between pursuits of your dreams.
Being mindful means observing and sticking to your commitments, not only to others but also to yourself and your own growth. It’s all about intentionally finding time to do and give what is due so that you become your own #bestmeever no matter how busy life may be.
It’s all about becoming 100% present always as you go through life so that you get the most of each and every moment as you learn and grow in the process from all things, good or bad, that happens to you and for you.
It’s all about allowing yourself to feel, whatever it is that you need to acknowledge at any given point in time without judging yourself because you are entitled to that. What is important though is that as you set yourself free to express your emotions, it is imperative to practice accountability towards them too. At the end of it all, it’s never an excuse to let others around you suffer just because you were having a bad day. Take that to heart.
It may seem so trivial now to focus on just 8 minutes and make it seem like it’s larger than life, when we oftentimes take it for granted. However, truth be told, it is.
Imagine this: what can happen within 8 minutes? Reflect on your current space and see for yourself how valuable time can be.
You see, it can mean different things for different people:
…it can be life changing for a mother who gets to see her child for the first time after the long labor;
…it can heal wounds for someone who’s dying and wanted to make amends with his family and friends before going;
…it can make or break a much-awaited opportunity that’s presented;
…it allows for longer expressions of love between people.
And the list goes on.
What I am saying here is that 8 minutes isn’t exactly just a minuscule of time.
Depending on how you see and use it, it can be life changing. And believe me, that’s an understatement.
So at this point in time, I hope you see the value in each and every moment you have as you celebrate every breath you take.
You deserve to live fully. To become your own #bestmeever .
Because that can jumpstart something big for you in the long run.
You just have to give yourself time.
And fully committing for 8 minutes to whatever it is that will bring you growth and joy, for starters isn’t bad at all.
P.S. My coachee now submits way ahead of his scheduled deadline and found new inspiration along the way. My heart is happy, full, and proud. Thank you for the inspiration.
Surprise! My email inbox: 0 new messages.
Weird.
You see this has never happened to me before as I am used to getting my client confirmations, inquiries, brand collaborations, invitations and a whole lot more flood my email on a daily basis. And yes, including my online shopping bill. Haha!
So I was taken aback when I opened my mail and found it to be so at peace. Haha!
“Oh well, I could use some time off from reading all my emails.” And I didn’t give it much thought until I got a message on LinkedIn:
“We sent the updated certificate on Friday but I just got an delivery error notification just now.
Sending it to you here just in case. .”
Friday. I checked my email on this Monday. WTF.
My heart started racing and I instinctively checked on my domain hosting services for my bestmeever.com email.
OMG. It was no where to be found.
And then I saw one email that said my payment lapsed and they had to park my domain.
I was like, huh? My credit card was active and I had a back up which was also working.
How can that happen?
Even more questions popped into my head when I tried searching for my domain and found out it was already “taken”. What?! How can that be?
Here’s the catch: they want me to avail of a domain broker service worth P4500+ to get my domain back for a minimum of $1,000 USD.
I. Just. Can’t.
It was so surreal. I was admittedly caught by surprise that suddenly, my domain bestmeever.com for 5 years was no longer in my possession.
But here’s the wilder scenario, as my mind tried to grasp the impact of this sudden loss:
Two brand collaboration invites bounced;
Multiple client schedules for the week not registered;
Updates for Coach Awards and Global Gurus , competitions I was nominated in were not received;
Tracking for my online purchases gone.
…and the list goes on.
Gosh.
But then again, I realized, things like this happen in real life, in other aspects.
Take this time to reflect: has it happened to you before?
…missed out on an important meeting?
….forgot the password to your account which got locked?
…had something stolen from you?
How did you deal with it?
Whatever your response then, it’s ok. You still have time to tweak it as you read this.
Yup, it was a learning experience for me yesterday, and until now as I troubleshoot and write this.
I know. It can be so stressful. But think about this: panicking won’t help you in the process. In fact, making impulsive decisions can wreck even more havoc in the long run. The key here is to pause and ground yourself so that you can think of a logical situation when all your emotions have stabilized. Taking deep breaths can do wonders for you.
2. Assess the situation carefully
After recognizing your emotions and letting them settle, try to see the situation on hand objectively. What is the implication? What can you be missing out? What must you consider? What can be good about this? I had to answer all those 4 when I was trying to pacify myself yesterday and it gave me enough leverage to come up with what will work best for me at that given point in time.
3. Let go of anything beyond your control
This is a golden rule. I mean why continuously stress over things (and people) you have no control of? Stressing over them won’t change a thing and it won’t definitely guarantee you the desired outcome you want. Remember: you spend precious energy as you try to control everything. What you can do is utilize the same amount of energy and effort in letting go and focusing on what you can still influence as of the moment so that you don’t go around in circles.
4. Seek help
You are never alone and it’s ok to seek for help because that’s a sign of strength. Give yourself the assistance you deserve by acknowledging the fact that sometimes you can’t do things on your own. I immediately reached out to my web developer and to a couple of techie people I know for help and the guidance they gave me allowed me to formulate my options moving forward.
5. Check on your priorities
Based on your assessment of the situation, what should you focus on first? Again, it’s imperative to let go of all the distractions so that you can create a strategic pathway towards the soundest solution you need and want for yourself. Consider the help you have received and know that at the end of the day, you can only do so much so working on resolving one thing at a time is best. In my case, my priority was to inform everyone affected by the loss of my email and give them an alternative email where they can reach me instead. I am lucky though that people I reached out too were kind enough to understand the problem and were willing to make necessary adjustments.
You might be curious about my own resolution. Well, what I did was get myself a new domain hosting and service. You can now reach me at myke@bestmeever.net 🙂
I can definitely say that after 5 years, I am at peace with letting go of my previous domain, bestmeever.com. I will always be grateful for it served its purpose well and has been instrumental in receiving numerous good news and blessings through the years. Thank you.
However, life goes on.
And so can I.
Still on my way to becoming my own #bestmeever .
With my new email address.
“You deserve to give yourself the kind of love and understanding you willingly give to others.”
One of my favorite reminders, actually.
Let’s face it: oftentimes we forget ourselves in the process of wanting to please others too much.
In the end though, we realize that seeing the smiles on the faces of other people can’t really fully address your own void
To some extent yes, it brings you joy and a sense of fulfillment.
But have you ever thought about how important it is to acknowledge your own needs and wants?
So let me ask you this: when was the last time you put yourself first?
When was the last time you gave yourself what is due without feeling guilty?
If your answer is “never” or you have long forgotten when, then this is your sign to treat yourself kinder.
Hear me out on this: whatever you’ve been through, or whatever it is that you’re going through, no matter how f*cked up life may be, beating yourself up and depriving yourself won’t resolve the issue on hand or bring back time.
Hard slap I know. But you needed that.
If you want to change the space you’re in, start by being kinder to yourself.
Because as you take care of yourself more, you become happier and you also teach others how to treat you.
Stop questioning yourself whether you’re deserving or not of that kindness. That was never the question.
It’s all about recognizing your own worth and being comfortable with owning your space as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
Uhuh. Never disregard your own needs and wants. They matter. And you matter as much as anyone else. You don’t need to shut off that inner voice telling you what can make you become happier and more fulfilled in this life time. Acknowledge them and give yourself what is due. Because each time you fill up your own cup, you come from a space of overflow and you get to share more to others.
2. Have loving conversations with yourself
How you speak to yourself affects how you see and feel about yourself. Engaging in positive self talk allows you to appreciate and empower yourself more. Mind you though: it’s not just about saying things; it’s all about believing them too. On a personal note, what I do is that every time I stand in front of the mirror, I do my affirmations as I give myself the credit that is due, whole heartedly. Sometimes the exact words we need to hear need not come from others. We can just genuinely speak from the heart as we tell ourselves just those.
3. Set and observe boundaries
Respect is key in any relationship, including the one that you have with yourself. By setting boundaries, you allow yourself to exist in a happier space as you protect yourself from anything or anyone not in alignment with your core values. Never feel guilty for distancing yourself from unnecessary stress and drama. They don’t deserve to share spaces with you in the first place.
4. Invest on yourself and your growth
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is growth. You are the best investment you can ever make so don’t set aside opportunities to work on yourself, develop your potential and become the person you’re meant to be. Working on yourself is never an unnecessary expense — it’s a must if you want to make the most of this lifetime. So whether you enroll in a class that’s in alignment with your passion, get a coach, or go on that much needed vacation, do it. You grow more when you flow.
5. Pursue your dreams
You’re not just an enabler for others — you also deserve to make your dreams come true. Give yourself enough time and space to go for what you truly want in life. It’s never too late to listen to yourself and fulfill what makes your heart skip a beat. Make your own fairy tale come true by unapologetically taking steps towards your own north star, as you finally live your true purpose in this lifetime, whatever that may be for you. At the end of the day, you can always help others even as you pursue your own dreams. Never think it’s about choosing one over the other.
These are only 5 tips. You can do so much more to treat yourself with kindness.
Allow yourself to explore and implement them.
Because you are worthy of taking up space too.
You can only accept things which you fully understand.
This has always been one of my favorite things to tell my coaching clients.
So true, don’t you think.
I am basically coming from a premise that humans oftentimes, if not always, resist what is unfamiliar.
That is the very reason why change can be so scary at times.
However, we must be ready to embrace change always because as they say, it’s inevitable.
But how can you embrace something which you don’t fully know about or understand?
Oops. there we go again. Questioning things even before we try it. Got you there! Haha!
But yes, that basically shows my point.
Don’t fret though. Tips are just around the corner.
Ok, I know change can be too overwhelming at times. So the key here is to create enough space between you and your thoughts and assumptions (and if possible, the trigger source per se), so you don’t get too caught up in the moment. Never let yourself act out of impulse. Instead, focus on retreating temporarily to your safe space (no matter how that may look like for you), as you gather facts and respond based on them. Yep, respond, not react.
2. Do away with your biases
We have all grown up differently, having sets of experiences which are unique to us. These experiences have formed biases that blur our logic and decision making, as they focus too much on what is familiar, pleasurable or what we think is right. However, biases are more often than not mere assumptions and at times no longer serve their purpose when put in the current context. So best if you ask yourself: what am I merely assuming in this case? What biases of mine are coming into play? Then answer both as honestly as possible.
3. Focus on the value
Like I always say, good or bad, everything that happens to you has a reason. When you want to understand something that you are initially resisting, whether it’s an unfortunate turn of events or an unexpected detour, focus on the value it brings: the lessons, the growth and the new opportunity to start all over again on a clean slate moving forward. Consider yourself lucky to be able to learn and grow along the way as you understand your space better. A powerful question you can ask yourself is: What is this teaching me? Try it.
4. Be open
You can’t control everything. And that’s perfectly fine. Because you shouldn’t. Trust in the grander design of things far beyond your knowledge and power. Know that if you just allow yourself to flow, you actually grow more in the process.
5. Experience it for yourself
As they say, don’t knock it off until you try it. See for yourself. Experiencing things (and people) as they are fully allows you to understand completely as you go face to face with your fears, assumptions and desires moving forward. Give it a chance. Whether you finally say yes or no, you are worth the decision you are making for as long as you’re coming from a space of full understanding.
I hope this helps you understand the space you’re in at the moment.
Know though that whatever that may look like for you at present, it’s ok.
You’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
On your way to your own #bestmeever .