How To Stop Hating Yourself

Which basically means, you have to stop hating yourself.

Hate is such a powerful negative emotion that we should be mindful about because it can wreck havoc not only on ourselves but on everything that we do and everyone around us.

However, we tend to hate ourselves when things don’t go as planned, when we fail to meet our own (and that of others too) expectations, when delays happen and we feel that we are not in control of the situation we’re in.

What escapes us though is that the more we hate ourselves, the more desired results don’t fall into place.

I tell you this now: how you treat yourself is a mirror of what you’re getting in life right now. Uhuh. Even the way others treat you is a reflection of what you allow (and don’t allow) in your own life.

I think I hit a nerve there, didn’t I?

Well, hopefully that opens your eyes towards the reality that you have to take responsibility for yourself and your life and not let other people, things or circumstances define you.

And while you’re at it, take this opportunity to learn how you can be kinder to yourself as you do away with self hate with these tips:

1. Ground yourself first

Pause. Breathe. Let calmness surround you. And ask yourself this powerful question: what’s under my control that I can focus on to help me get rid of this negative emotion? More often than not, we let ourselves be overwhelmed by what’s happening around us that we forget that what matters most is how we take charge of how we feel within and what’s under our control. Trust me, 5 minutes of grounding yourself can do wonders for you and lessen the anxiety, worries and stress that lead to unnecessarily hating yourself.

2. Remember how blessed you are

Yep, counting your blessings help. Give yourself more credit. You made it this far so admittedly you must have done something good in your life to deserve that progress. Take time to list down your blessings and allow yourself to feel grateful as you recognize each. In the process of doing so, you will get to realize that you deserve a pat on the back too. Give yourself just that.

3. Compliment yourself

If you find it easy to compliment others, apply that practice to yourself too. Self-affirmations can help empower you even during the most difficult days as you give yourself your own much needed boost of self-confidence and empowerment. Compliment your looks, praise your progress, remember your worth. All these matter. Like you do, too.

4. Question the validity of your negative emotion

There are perhaps a number of other underlying emotions that have resulted to self-hate. Try to uncover and understand them so that you get to process them better. As you get to deal with the root cause, you begin to slowly eliminate the negativity that resulted from piled up emotions coming from a space of overwhelm. I mean, do you really hate yourself for who and what are? Or are you just feeling scared about the outcome? Feeling guilty about what transpired? Yep, there can be many narratives that can be addressed differently, accordingly. Clarity is key.

5. Build a strong support circle

You are not alone in your journey. Other people share your sentiments so don’t judge yourself for reaching out for help. Surround yourself with people who bring out your best, you make you feel seen and heard and who can cheer you up when times are rough. Consider also seeking the help of mental health professionals if things become too much for you. Help is readily available. Always. You just have to ask.

To wrap this up, I just want you to take this to heart:

You’re on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .

So please, love yourself more.