It sucks to be taken for granted.
I have experienced it time and again before when people will consistently ask me for favors and expect them all to be granted. Name it: Family, friends, special someone, work mates, random people even!
I never failed them though. By choice.
Thinking that all those will strengthen the relationships I had with them.
I gave my all. Because I felt that was what was due.
What they deserved.
In the process though, I forgot a very important thing:
To consider what I deserved.
And that struck me hard when the time came that I was left alone hanging.
Uhuh. The people whom I thought would support me in my own journey like I did with theirs, were nowhere to be found.
Or had excuses left and right.
And that is one eye opening experience that taught me a very valuable lesson I hold close to my heart up to this day:
To not allow other people to take me for granted ever again.
Let me share with you some tips which can help you protect your space and not ending up feeling used in the process of being in a relationship (of whatever kind, really) with anyone:
1. Set healthy boundaries
You know yourself better: what you can and what you cannot give. Don’t pressure yourself trying to please others at the expense of losing yourself in the process. You’re not obligated in any way to be everyone’s savior so don’t beat yourself up when you turn down favors. That way, you are respecting your own space as you learn how not to be taken for granted.
2. Say NO openly
Every time you say NO to a person who’s been asking you for favors left and right, you say yes to yourself and your growth. Don’t be shy and never feel awkward for standing your ground. You deserve it.
3. Manage your availability
No, you don’t have to be readily available for other people 24/7 simply because you also need to spend time by yourself and focus on your growth. Allow them to respect that and be firm with it. You don’t have to be at anyone’s beck and call. So stop enslaving yourself in the process.
4. Lay down your expectations
Any relationship is a two-way street. It must be mutually beneficial. You have to be clear with your intentions. Is there anything the other person can do for you in return? Are you looking forward to anything at all from the relationship that you have with the person asking for the favor? Ask. Tell. You deserve to be recognized and heard as well.
5. Choose your self-worth over anything else
Don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel that you matter simply out of convenience or need. You’re more than that! If the other person isn’t on the same page as you are, walk away with self-respect intact. Your self-worth matters more.
At the end of the day, give yourself the same care and attention that you’re giving others. So never take yourself for granted in the process of wanting to feel that sense of belongingness or get that validation.
Because truth be told, those can be found inside you.
You just have to inquire within.
Live it out.
And always say to yourself: Me, too.