5 Things That I Must Stop

And yes, I had a grand time as I took my coaching hat off for almost two weeks and just let myself enjoy each and every moment with my loved ones during that trip.

What made that celebration even more special is the fact that my social media platforms and phone were filled with heartfelt greetings and well-wishers. I felt the love from all over. Never knew I mattered that much to a lot of people beyond expectations. And for that I am grateful. I just have to put it out here so that each and everyone who celebrated with me then will know. Again, thank you guys. You made this Unicorn very happy.

After blowing my official birthday candle then during our dinner at Baiyoke Sky Hotel, I had some ample time to reflect on what I wanted to do for the rest of my life as this new chapter unfolds.

I mean, I have always been a planner: I know what needs to be done upon going back to Manila, what my next steps will be, what programs I will be launching and how can make my 42nd year even more amazing.

Yeah, it was all about moving on and forward.

But then it struck me as well: in order to keep going, I must also stop a number of things, behaviors and whatever is holding me back from becoming my own #bestmeever .

And that isn’t exactly easy, you know. Coming from honesty and vulnerability, much like everyone else, I have grown to be so comfortable with a number of things, people and situations, both knowingly and unknowingly, hinder my progress and prevents me from becoming truly happier in my space.

However, truth be told, I know that it will be all worth it when I muster all my strength to finally cut ties with these things that short change my own value as a person.

I hope that by sharing these with you, I know that one way or another you can relate too. My goal is not to be perfect in your eyes (or mine) but rather to show each one of us are very much alike and we are in this together.

And yes, you don’t have to wait for your birthday to take action. Let’s do this together now, shall we?

Presenting to you the top 5 things I intend to fully stop to allow myself to grow further in my 42nd year of existence:

1. Making (and accepting) excuses for the wrong behaviors of others

It is what it is. While it’s important to see the goodness in each and every person that I meet, I should not allow that perspective to blur what is here and now. Yeah, sometimes people are not just really having a bad day; it can be their usual reaction towards others and I must be mindful of that. Being totally open instead and coming from a genuine space of concern, I want to be more comfortable in telling people how things are from my end for as long as I am clear and honest with my intentions of doing so. After all, I am a firm believer that tolerating any form of bad behavior isn’t exactly a sign of love.

2. Feeling guilty for letting people go

Not everyone has to play a part in our story, even those who have been with us for quite sometime but because of reason or two, have changed along the way. And that is fully ok. To outgrow people, To realize that we are no longer on the same page. To let them and myself be. It doesn’t make any of us a bad person. It only makes us respect our personal spaces more. So I guess there’s no sense of feeling bad about giving ourselves what is due in the first place: the freedom to grow on our own.

3. Allowing others to take me for granted

While I have been known to be kind and patient, I can’t just let myself be in a one-sided relationship. I need to be more mindful of the circle I keep and what value they provide me as well. I mean, I can’t just be too lenient when working with friends or family when it comes to agreed upon deliverables because exceptional output has nothing to do with the relationship but on one’s commitment. Note to self: I don’t have to please everyone and it’s not my responsibility to save everyone as well. So this year, I am allowing myself to just be with people who know how to acknowledge and appreciate my value as they inspire me to be my best through good times and bad times. And that goes both ways, mind you. Because that is what we all truly deserve.

4. Overlooking the value of here and now

Admittedly there are times when life seems to be overwhelming: work, responsibilities, goals, expectations among others. But hey, it’s best to remember that what we can only control is what is here and now —and there are times we don’t even have to be in control. I guess in this case, I need to allow myself to be 100% present wherever I am , without having to worry about the multiple hats I wear. And yes, I know I no longer need to wear them always at the same time. Because they don’t define me. And what is important is how I make the most of today because that’s the only thing for certain by simply letting myself be: flowing and free.

5. Thinking that I am invincible

Ok, admittedly that as we age, we forget that we also have new needs and wants to be addressed and a number of new limitations to accept. That’s the hard part. While I know that I am in good shape, it’s also important to acknowledge that staying up way late at night or engaging in super strenuous and highly stressful activities are no longer my cup of tea. I need to understand and accept that my body is changing and so I must support it with the tender loving care it deserves. It’s all about recalibrating my adventures and how I view fun and excitement in my life. And no, I don’t feel the need to belong to do this because I am doing it for myself and my own well-being, something far more important than simply fitting in.

Whew, that was a handful. However, what’s good now is that we can be quite accountable for each other as we journey towards our own #bestmeever .