So I had this random conversation with a former workmate this morning and she said:
“What else could you want this year? You seem to have it all. You’re successful already!”
And it took me a moment before I thoughtfully replied:
“Thank you.”
Uhm yeah. That was the only reply I could muster at that point in time because her statement made me reflect about my current space.
She gave me a puzzled look and then said:
“I wish I can be as successful as easy and effortlessly as you did.”
At that moment, I immediately knew why I was taken aback.
While I have always been grateful about my life in general and everything I have at present, I didn’t really dig deep into my own journey towards achieving whatever it is I have on my plate now, until this conversation.
“…as easy and effortless as you did.”
OMG, did it really seem that way?
I can’t even fathom where to start as truth be told, the entire experience was far from that.
But yeah, I do get that impression a lot:
that my job as a life coach / counselor was easy because I just had to listen to my clients and give them something to reflect on without having to stay inside an office 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
that hosting TV and radio was a piece of cake since all that is needed is be charming and ask interesting questions.
that taking my PHd was not that challenging because I have already graduated from the same University twice (UP Diliman proud Iskolar ng Bayan here) for my Masters and Undergraduate degree.
that I have my entire life all figured out.
Well, here’s the thing: everything is just the opposite. Haha!
Here’s the truth about these misconceptions:
It’s not easy to do coaching or counseling. There are a lot of things to process and a lot of energy to give out and absorb. Ask other professionals out there, I am sure they can relate.
Hosting requires a whole lot of internal planning, strategizing and rapport with the audience to draw out the best stories. Sometimes though, the guests don’t really cooperate. Haha!
PHd. Guys, PHd. Which means a whole lot of research and theories. Enough said.
And I am not ashamed or afraid to say that still, as I write this, I feel that I am a work in progress.
And I am perfectly fine with that because that means I still have room for growth.
Which makes every little step forward more rewarding and more exciting.
So going back to answer my former workmate’s question, there are still a lot of things on my bucketlist that I want to achieve.
One at a time, in my own pace and space.
I am not in hurry. Nor am I going to be complacent.
What I am basically saying is that I know that greatness takes time and I am willing to devote that ( and a bunch of others) just to make my dreams come true.
Yes, it takes a lot to be successful.
And I am not saying that I should be everyone’s benchmark for success because my definition of success may be different from yours.
It never was about how much I earned. The awards received or the number of followers, viewers, readers or listeners I had.
For me, being successful is having the time, means and energy to do what my heart genuinely desires and be truly fulfilled with it.
So that means, even as I have a long way to go, I value the freedom I have to explore without fear all the options in front of me, simply because I am allowing myself to, based on my own terms, wants and needs.
But mind you though: the entire journey to having that privilege is far from easy.
Success, no matter how you may define it, as candid as I can be, can be very costly and demanding.
The only question is for everyone reading this is:
are you willing to pay the price?
As they say, time is the best gift you can give to others (and yourself as well). So true. You can’t really bring back time so however you spend it must be in accordance to what truly makes you feel happy, complete and fulfilled. In this case though, you must be willing to devote enough time, every single day, to doing at least one thing that will bring you closer to your goals. Consistency is key my dear. There are days you will feel too tired, too busy, too overwhelmed, but always remember that every second matters. It takes 10,000 hours of consistent, committed practice to be an expert in something. So be willing to spend just that for yourself and your dreams.
2. Losing people along the way
The sad truth about life is that not everyone gets to play a part in your story in the long run. Along the way, as you embark on your journey towards success, people whom you’ve had relationships with may simply fall off for various reasons: no longer in alignment with your goals, envy, change of priorities, a personal awakening …and a whole lot more. Admittedly, it may be painful at first but try to look at it this way: they’ve already fulfilled their purpose in your life. Now you’re clearing the way for new people to come in who will help you become the person you’re meant to be as you fulfill what you’re called to do. You don’t lose people who are meant to be in your space. You just welcome them when you’re finally ready.
3. A whole lot of smart and hard work
I would have loved it if I had a genie in a bottle to help make all my wishes come true. But I have to leave that part with Disney and focus on the reality that success demands a whole lot of smart and hard work. So be ready to bring in long hours, endure headache causing plot twists and challenge, overly tiring routines and a whole bunch of challenges to overcome along the way. Plus: be ready to indulge in a lot of slices of humble pie. Hehe. Bear in mind though that at the end of it all, when you work hard for what you truly want to achieve it, everything becomes more memorable and meaningful. You don’t want overnight success– you want a long lasting one that makes your legacy impactful.
4. Self work and self worth
Take this to heart: you are the best investment you can ever make. Your real confidence stems from knowing that you are at your peak state and that you are doing everything you can and giving all that you have as you pursue your biggest goals. Thus, learning more about yourself on a deeper level, working on your triggers and trauma and allowing yourself to nurture your potentials to the fullest will equip you with what you truly need when the going gets tough. Never feel guilty for spending on yourself and your growth because that is what you truly deserve. Your journey towards your own #bestmeever is a pre-requisite.
5. Unwavering faith
You become your thoughts. So it’s very important to keep believing in yourself and trusting the process. Never let difficult times change that. Don’t let previous failures get in the way. Also helps if you have a higher being to anchor to (whatever your religious belief may be, it’s ok), to ensure that when things seem almost impossible, your faith can pull you through. Praying can do wonders even during the most desperate situations. Never discount that fact because at the end of the day, I totally believe, that miracles do happen.
Having said all these, it’s now time for you to reflect:
in your own space, what are you willing to give up to be successful?
And what will make it all worth it?
You know what’s best for you.
And you deserve the success you want for yourself.
