Be your own greatest fan.
That’s not being narcissistic. That’s self-love.
Please. Don’t ever limit yourself when it comes to giving yourself what is due:
Unconditional love. Understanding. Compassion. Kindness. Appreciation.
The question is: when was the last time you did just that?
Ok, if it’s been a while, know that you aren’t exactly alone.
You see sometimes, when life gets hard, we forget how important it is to give ourselves the kind of consideration and love we willingly give to others who matter to us.
However, know that no matter what you’ve been through or going through at the moment, those really don’t determine your worthiness or define your value.
You know what’s best for you…so give yourself just that.
This line encapsulates it fully:
It’s ok to consider your own needs and wants too.
Because you matter just as much as everyone else.
Given that, it’s very important to stop treating yourself unfairly so that you get to grow in harmony with your own #bestmeever .
Heres the thing: you weren’t born to just to baby sit for everyone else around. You weren’t born just to work your ass off to pay the bills. You deserve to have time for yourself and spend it no matter how you want to, guilt-free. You don’t need to explain to others why you took that long vacation or when you decided to spend the weekend reading books in your bedroom. You have the right. And you deserve it.
2. Minimizing your own progress
Give credit to where it is due — to yourself, included. Reflect quickly: when was the last time you honored your progress? Don’t ever attach your happiness and fulfillment to the achievement of your end goal. You don’t have to postpone your appreciation for yourself until then. You can do it here and now, simply because if you looked back, you would realize how far you’ve gone. Remember: choosing to start a new journey is an achievement by itself. Continue celebrating yourself to stay inspired along the way.
3. Choosing to always play it safe
You’ve heard it time and again: growth is outside your comfort zone. That essentially means that you should be willing to take risks in order for you to be the person that you want to be. Holding back won’t get you anywhere in this life time. Give yourself that fighting chance to go for what you truly want: whether it’s all about starting a new career, learning a new skill in a new environment or speaking up and allowing yourself to take up space as you are. It may be really uncomfortable at first but the rewards are life changing.
4. Settling in unhappy, stagnant relationships
Life is too short to stay in any relationship that does not help you grow or make you happy. If you find yourself trying to justify the toxic relationship you have just because you’ve been in it for a long time, then this is your sign to reflect and realize that by staying, you aren’t exactly changing it. You could have done that a long time ago, but haven’t. There I said it. Maybe now it’s time for you to be honest with yourself and give yourself what you deserve: the chance to communicate openly with the person you’re in a relationship with and discuss how both of you would want to move forward, based on what will work best for your relationship and yourselves too. Sweeping issues under the rug don’t necessarily resolve them, you know.
5. Invalidating your emotions
Don’t be scared to be honest about how you feel. It’s the only way you can process them fully. Do away with shame or self-judgment. You deserve to let yourself be and feel what must be felt so that you can discover the lessons each one is telling you. Know that every emotion, good or bad, helps you understand yourself on a deeper level, only if you let them unfold fully without any form of resistance. It’s ok to feel the way you do. How you deal with it moving forward given that, matters more.
Let me leave you with this thought for reflection:
Treating yourself fairly is never optional nor dependent on any other person, timing or situation.
It’s a personal choice to be made consistently and genuinely, every single day. every single way.
Hope you commit to making that choice for yourself whole heartedly.
You are as good as how you keep your word.
At the end of the day, how you keep your promises determine your credibility and integrity, two things which you don’t ever want to compromise, no matter what.
Through the years, I have seen countless of relationships break, careers shatter and people spiral down because of their inability to honor their commitments.
The question is: why is that the case?
Well, let’s do a check in now.
In your case, what makes it difficult for you to honor your word?
Is it the overwhelming pressure around you?
The lack of priority?
Over promising but under delivering?
Whatever your reason may be at the moment, please know that no amount of excuses can save your reputation once it’s tainted.
So let’s not even go there.
Heightened emotions can cause you to make promises impulsively. This applies to both positive and negative ones. There is so much truth in not making promises when you’re overly happy, sad, angry or scared because one way or another, in the long run, you’ll regret making them. So make sure that before giving your word, you are coming from a very stable space and you are not driven by any form of extreme emotion that may blur your sense of judgment and commitment so to speak. Key reflection: how do I feel now as I make this promise?
2. Check on the feasibility of your promise
Over promising is one of the most common causes of not being able to keep one’s word. Remember: the goal is not just to please the other party at the onset of your discussion. The goal is to be able to deliver accordingly and exceed expectations. In order to do this, you must become very mindful of all the details, big and small, including timelines, deliverables and other matters of accountability so you don’t find yourself in an awkward position in the long run. Think about this: what bases must I cover to make all these things possible?
3. Align everything fully with the other party
I always emphasize the importance of putting everything in black and white so that both parties have something to look back at when caught in a crossroad. Please don’t ever find offense when someone tells you to put everything into writing — that’s actually the most professional thing to do and it safe guards both parties. Remember, if the intentions and all other pertinent details are clear, then you have nothing to fear. Always voice out your concerns and suggestions even before you shake hands so that they may be addressed accordingly ahead of time before they become issues in the long run. Something to ask yourself: What needs to be fully clear between us so we can move forward seamlessly with this agreement?
4. Communicate clearly and regularly
Whatever happens, always find time to update the person you’ve committed to. Never just disappear when times are harder than usual. You owe it to the other party no matter what. Be brave enough to have difficult conversations and be prepared to have solutions when unforeseen delays or changes in plans occur. Don’t ever leave the other person hanging as it speaks about your ability to maintain the integrity of your words and actions and ability to honor your relationships when hurdles are encountered along the way. Best if you can do quick check ins once in a while and take time to assure the other party about the progress of your agreements. That helps manage the anxiety and stress brought about by not knowing what has transpired along the way. Reflect: what needs to be communicated accordingly to avoid any future misunderstanding?
5. Prioritize your promises
It’s not just lip service; your promises can make or break you, depending on how you deal with them. Give them utmost importance. Always ensure that you do your best always as you give your all to fulfill them accordingly. Prioritizing involves finding ways, means and time to deliver what is due, by doing at least one thing per day that will allow you to do just that. Park your promises when you’ve fulfilled them. Until then, make sure they’re always in sight by doing away with what does not serve you at the moment. Check this out: what must I let go of as I make my commitment my focus now?
Remember this: to be able to keep your word to others, you must first learn to honor your commitment to yourself.
To keep your core values, integrity and credibility in tact, always in all ways.
And that means giving yourself what is due, no matter what that may be at the moment, as you journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever .
It starts with you.
Fact: You always choose to prioritize what truly matters to you.
Also a fact: sometimes we get distracted and we totally mess up our priorities.
I know, the irony of it all.
Don’t be disheartened though. You are not alone to begin with.
Admittedly, even I struggled with my priorities initially when things got more challenging than usual.
However, as I aged and gained more and more experience, I realized that choosing what to prioritize became easier.
Maybe because through the years, I have learned to recognize and accept what really are in alignment with my core values and those which are not.
That totally made the process of elimination way easier.
However, I am not telling you to hold off setting your priorities until you reach my age (I just turned 44 last August 12).
I am telling you that by choice, you can see beyond the distractions and focus on what truly matters most in the long run.
Take this time to quickly reflect:
What overwhelms you at the moment?
What is making you focus on them?
What do you think can you do otherwise to resolve them instead?
By recognizing and understanding what distracts you, you are able to deal with them better and allow you to navigate through your own journey with the greatest of ease minus the excess baggage.
Allow me to share with you the 5 things I have chosen to prioritize upon decluttering my thoughts and my space, something which you can do now as well in yours.
Here’s the thing: nothing else will matter and nothing can prosper if you don’t take care of yourself. You are just as important as everyone else around you. Never put your own needs and wants last. Always take time to practice self-care, no matter how busy or challenging life gets. It won’t take much to have a break, pamper yourself, go for a walk or do what you love in between your hectic schedules. Don’t ever feel guilty for giving yourself what is due: that is the love and care you willingly give to others along the way.
Life is too short to spend it unhappily doing things you don’t like, being with people who don’t inspire you to be your best or staying in a place or situation which does not spark joy or growth. You don’t have to ask for anyone else’s approval before you finally choose to go for what truly makes your heart skip a beat. For as long as you are willing and able to take responsibility for yourself and your happiness, by all means give it a go. You are worthy of that smile on your face and in your heart.
3. Self-Improvement
You are never too young or too old to learn a new skill, work on yourself and be the person you’re meant to be. Stop giving yourself excuses and start giving yourself new found inspiration to take that first step to upskill or get to know yourself on a deeper level. Unlocking your potential was never based on a singular time frame. All you have to do is make that choice now, and fully commit to it no matter what.
4. Nurturing quality relationships
I always say: it’s ok to outgrow people and relationships. Not everyone has to play a part in your next chapter. Not because you’re evil or they’ve turned bad, but simply because you no longer on the same page. Some people are not meant to stay in your life in the long run and that’s ok. What matters is you learn from them the valuable lessons you need moving forward. This was one of my key reflections during my two-week birthday hiatus: I truly feel grateful with who I have left in my space as the ones who left have made room for new people of true value to occupy. Everything happens for a reason so it’s very important to surround yourself with the right people.
5. Savings For The Future
I know at times we tend to live in the moment and spend like there’s tomorrow. However, please take note that it’s never too early or too late to actually prepare for your future too. Go get that insurance fund, open that savings account, buy properties that appreciate in value, invest wisely…do what you must so that you grow your earnings even through the rainy days. It’s not about fully depriving yourself along the way; it’s about proper allocation and understanding of the real value of saving for the kind of future you want for yourself and your loved ones.
I guess my birthday leave did do wonders for me as I got to sit down and blog about my realizations in terms of my priorities.
Hopefully this blog helps you to manage yours, way before your next birthday comes along.
Yup, your time is now.
Patience is a virtue.
Perhaps one of the most popular quotes in this lifetime.
It does hit hard in a fast-pace environment we have gotten used to through the years.
Ever felt you have so little time on your hands?
Barely enough for you to enjoy life fully, forcing you to rush everything.
However, life was never meant to be lived in a hurry.
Each one of us has a unique journey, a different timeline towards becoming our own #bestmeever.
And we must embrace that whole heartedly.
Only then can we fully appreciate the space we are in.
When we allow ourselves to take up space as we are.
So take this time now to reflect: when was the last time you became impatient over something?
Waiting for important results?
A long-awaited trip?
A much-deserved promotion?
Someone changing for the better?
Whatever has caused you to become highly frustrated over the seemingly long delays , please take note that if you look at those things closely, they are beyond your control. So yeah, no point of stressing over them, simply because doing so won’t even change a thing.
I know that probably knocked some sense to you and hopefully as I share this blog post, the entire experience of reading through it changes you for the better.
You already know that it will take some time for something you truly want to happen. So why constantly stress yourself on focusing how long it will take? Remember, the waiting time does not shorten itself based on how much you stress over it. It gets shorter when you leave it as is and go on with your life, as life does not technically wait for anyone. Don’t waste the chance to grow in harmony with it.
2. Divert your attention towards things (and people) you love
Waiting for the next big thing for you does not mean your life must come to a pause too. Consider this as your much needed time off to focus on the people and things you love most. Spend time with your family. Play with your pets. Pursue that passion project. Remember, you become more patient with things (and people) that make your heart smile and feel good about yourself as you enjoy the moment with them.
3. Anticipate the value of having to patiently wait
Humility. Commitment. Compassion. Hope. Some of the important things you learn along the way. Embracing the waiting game whole heartedly allows you to see the value of being patient with yourself and your own journey. When you see something as a growing experience, you allow yourself to be more patient towards it.
4. Take time to upskill
You only stop growing when you allow yourself to be held back by the circumstances surrounding you. So choose to continuously invest on yourself and your growth, so that instead of stressing over things beyond your control, you get to channel your energy and focus to making yourself better. The waiting game then becomes a springboard for your own breakthroughs and success.
5. Reframe your mindset
Greatness takes time. It will all be worth it. I am learning and growing as I wait. Time is on my side. Trusting myself and the process. Just some of the things you can take to heart as you view your situation differently. Mind you though, you get real results when you actually believe these thoughts fully.
Whatever space you’re in now, I hope after reading this, you become more patient towards yourself and your journey.
Know that you are exactly where you’re meant to be.
And you will always be just in time.
Just be patient.
Delayed, not denied.
This is your sign. So yes, you can relax now.
I know that sometimes when things don’t go as planned, we tend to feel stressed and overwhelmed.
That’s a normal reaction.
However, the key here is to not dwell on things beyond your control.
Yes, time to grow up honey.
For all you know, it’s not really as bad as it seems.
Greatness takes time so maybe the delays are merely preparing you for your best days ahead.
You’re still on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
You just have to trust yourself and the process more.
I know the waiting game can such be a painful, anxiety-filled experience at times.
Been there. Been that.
But still, here I am. Yup, I survived that. And so much more.
Fact: You can’t control everything and that’s perfectly fine. Be comfortable with your current space. It is what it is. And there’s a beautiful reason behind it. You just have to be patient enough to uncover the real purpose behind the delays. Give yourself that chance to grow by embracing what is here and now with little or no resistance at all. You are exactly where .you’re meant to be
2. Intentionally seek for silver linings
There’s always something good, somewhere, I always tell myself when I feel stuck or impatient. Here’s the thing: you can only discover the blessings in disguise when you no longer let yourself be overwhelmed by your own disappointments . Taking that to heart, come from a space of possibilities as you look at the delays that are happening in your life now. What are they teaching you? What better outcomes can they lead to? Reflect.
3. Be comfortable with pausing
Here’s the thing: even if you’re not moving forward, even if you stay still, you’re still growing. There is so much beauty in letting yourself pause as you reflect and recalibrate so you can be in full alignment with what and who you’re meant to be. Delays give you that beautiful opportunity to reconnect within and realize what really matters more in the long run. Make your pause purposeful.
4. Invest on yourself and your growth
Even during delays, life goes on. So can you. So make the most of the waiting time by working on yourself, whether you take personal development courses, level up your fitness game or upskill, what is important here is that you strive to become better so that regardless of what awaits you moving forward, you’ve still grown. You will always be the best investment you can make so take delays as your sign to make yourself even better.
5. Count your blessings
Delays can mean that you’re actually working on something bigger, something greater. Don’t let the long wait make you forget how blessed you are: you made it this far, you have new insights to help you move forward, and you still have a choice on how to go about your next chapter accordingly. These are just some of the things that you may want to acknowledge and focus on alongside many others that have inspired you through the years. Even as you wait, you are still blessed. Remember that.
Delays will always be there but please remember that: so is hope.
Hold on to what truly matters most:
that no matter how long, and whatever it takes, whatever is meant for you will find its way.
Honesty is the best policy.
I think we all grew up with that quote.
Whether it’s posted near the blackboard inside our classroom or written on a random page of our journal, we are oftentimes reminded of the true value of being honest in our lives.
Which in fact is quite valid because practicing honesty builds integrity and credibility, things we need in order to fully succeed in life. And trust me, you wouldn’t want to sacrifice those in the long run.
Sadly though, not all people welcome honesty with open arms. At times, no matter how well-meaning a person is, his/her honest remarks are taken as an attack.
While the issues and experiences of others are theirs to carry (which actually determine how they see the world and react to it, your message included), you should not burden yourself by doubting your actions if your intentions are pure.
At the end of the day, you know yourself best and you deserve to be honest not only with your words but also on how you choose to live life in general.
Take to heart though that your privilege goes the same for others and the key here is to practice respect while communicating honestly as we set and maintain necessary boundaries.
Think about the last honest conversation you had: how did it go?
Did the other party take it openly?
Or were you accused of being heartless, insensitive and outright rude?
While you can’t control the way others will react towards your honesty, you can always fine tune your way of delivering your message from your authentic self.
Here’s how you can be honest without being rude:
Most of the time, people get angry when caught off by surprise. Prevent this by preparing the person as you ask for permission if you can give your honest opinion. This gives the other party the time to think and consider his current space as to whether he is receptive towards it or isn’t ready at the moment. Either way, it will also give you an idea on whether to proceed or park it first to avoid conflict.
2. Clarify your intentions.
In order to avoid any form of misconception, it is important to state your reasons why you want to have that honest conversation and which space you’re coming from. Doing so allows the other party to loosen up and feel more safe and at ease to receiving your honest feedback.
3. Deliver your message mindfully.
How you structure your sentences and your choice of words can affect your delivery’s impact. Don’t forget your tone of voice and body language too. My tip here is that: if you were going to say the same thing to your 5 year old self, how will you do so coming from a space of love and genuine concern? Start from there. P.S. be clear and concise so that the key message doesn’t drown along the way.
4. Take time to listen and ask for feedback.
Being honest is also a two-way street. So best if you lend your ears as you ask about the feelings of the other person concerned. Once more, assure the other person that you will be open to listening and receiving feedback, much like how he/she did. Never block off what the other person has to say and never anticipate it as a form of attack. Be humble enough to allow yourself to know the impact of your message. Clarify and apologize if needed.
5. Ask how you can help out moving forward.
A gem of an effort indeed. It’s all about making the other person feel supported no matter what. Genuinely ask for what support you can offer and how can things be better for both of you moving forward. It’s not just about being able to say your piece, but rather using that conversation as a springboard to improving things around (and within) you .
Always remember that there’s nothing wrong with being honest.
However, know that you have a choice as to not come off as blunt by becoming more mindful of your words and actions.
That’s part of becoming your own #bestmeever .
Self talk is very powerful.
And that’s a fact.
How you talk to yourself, how you view and treat yourself becomes your every day reality.
Now my question is: how are your conversations with yourself? Which space are you coming from?
Take this time to reflect: what have you been saying to yourself?
Are you expressing joy? Disappointment? Anger? Shame? Excitement? Guilt?
How do these conversations affect your day to day existence?
Before you raise your eyebrows, know that you’re not going crazy as you engage in self talk.
It’s actually a healthy way to allow your mind to process things better and understand the space you’re coming from.
It also gives you the chance to affirm yourself and ground yourself when needed.
However, you can only reap the beautiful benefits of self-talk if you choose to engage in yours positively.
This means that you exert conscious effort to find what is good in your space and appreciate yourself, no matter what happens around you (or even sometimes within you).
It’s all about coming from a space of love and understanding, knowing that you are doing the best that you can, with all that you are and all that you have and that will always be more than enough reason for you to appreciate yourself more.
Take this to heart: as you speak lovingly to yourself, you allow yourself to maximize your potential and grow to the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
And by doing so, you also enable yourself to come from a space of overflow, which makes you not settle for anything less than what you deserve, as you also teach others how to treat you better.
Your self deserves an apology if you’ve been neglecting it for quite sometime now. Whether you got too busy at work that you overlooked your self-care routine or treated it badly because you were having a bad day, be humble enough to say sorry. Mean it. And make sure to make up for it as you commit to try your best not to do what you hurt yourself with again.
2. Thank you, Self
You, reading this now means that you’ve made it this far. And trust me, you couldn’t have done it without trusting (and working on/with) yourself. Every single day, new possibilities await you– be patient with yourself and your growth. Be grateful for what your life has become at the moment. It’s a stepping stone towards what you’re meant to be in this lifetime. Trust me: a whole hearted, genuine self appreciation goes a long way.
3. I am proud of you, Self
When life seems so challenging, we tend to forget how many times we survived far harder situations in the past. Honor yourself. Your battle scars are testament that you are trying (harder even at times) and for that alone you deserve a pat on the back, regardless of the results. Today, count your blessings and realize how blessed you are and how much you’ve grown.
4.I love you, Self
Give yourself the kind of love you freely give to others. Before you cringe — it’s not cheesy or self-serving. It’s actually something your self really deserves: to know that he/she is unconditionally loved for who and what he/she is. As what Ru Paul always says: If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can anybody else? Amen to that!
5. We can do this, Self
If you want to succeed in this life time, be your own greatest fan. Believe in yourself fully and you will be totally unstoppable. Free yourself from the need to be validated by others as you focus on yourself and your own growth. Know that you have everything within you to succeed and it’s all up to you on how you will maximize it. When the going gets tough, inquire within and give yourself that gentle nudge to keep going. Keep believing.
I hope that you get to build a better relationship with yourself after reading this.
Looking forward to seeing you have more loving talks from the heart with the most important person in the room:
your precious self.
Fact: How you treat yourself teaches others how to treat you.
Basic.
Indeed, it starts with you.
The amount of respect you give yourself shows others how much you value yourself and how you will not settle for anything less than you deserve.
It speaks of self-love and self-care through upholding what you think and feel is best for you.
Taking that into consideration, reflect: how much respect have you given yourself? How do you practice it?
Or should I rephrase that: do you give yourself the respect you deserve, at all?
Peace!!!
But kidding aside, giving yourself the love, acceptance and respect you deserve, is fundamental if you want to grow and become your own #bestmeever .
But yes, I do acknowledge the fact that sometimes, when things go wrong as they sometimes will, beating yourself up seems to be far easier than holding your head up high.
But that’s definitely not the way to go honey.
Take this to heart: you are not defined by your failures or whatever it is that broke you.
You are defined by the choices you make after each and every fall, including respecting yourself no matter what.
A NO is a NO. And keep it that way. Don’t be pressured to go against your word by others. You know what’s best for you so trust yourself more. Remember: each time you keep your boundaries, you are showing others how much you respect yourself and the decisions you make. Let them adjust.
2. Honor your commitments
Keeping your word matters a lot, not only to yourself but to others who have trusted you too. Respecting yourself means not compromising your credibility and integrity, which definitely involves not breaking your promises. You are as good as your word, remember that always. Do your best always, with all that you can and all that you have, to honor them as you honor yourself.
3. Allow yourself to have some “ME time”
No, you can’t always perform at 100% or live life at your peak at all times. Don’t ever feel guilty as you take time to rest, reflect and recalibrate. You need and deserve this time off so you can fill your own cup and come from a space of overflow. Pause. Do what makes your heart sing. Be with people you love. Travel. Let yourself be. That is what respecting your needs and wants look like.
4. Make decisions for yourself
It’s your life. Your rules. Never let anyone else take over and invalidate what you believe is best for you. Stop doubting your ability to decide. You have what it takes to figure out what will work best for you. Respecting yourself means listening to your own intuition and not invalidating how you feel about a certain person or situation. You know what’s best for you. Keep it that way. And always take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
5. Invest on yourself and your growth
Respecting yourself means maximizing your potentials and becoming the person you’re meant to be. It means allowing yourself to work on your weaknesses as you amplify your strengths. It means facing and overcoming mistakes and failures and learning and growing from them by choice and by committing to yourself and your results more. It’s all about loving and appreciating yourself as you are as you work on what you can still be.
At the end of the day, you deserve the kind of respect you freely give to others.
Because much like everyone else, you matter.
Never forget that.
Not everyone can be (or has to be) part of your happily ever after.
And that’s a fact.
Each person that comes into your life carries with him/her a particular purpose.
And they are not limited to your family, friends or significant others.
They can be an acquaintance, a colleague at work or school or even random strangers you bumped into.
Their purpose, whatever it may be, unfolds in its own timeline and space, not necessarily in accordance to yours.
This simply means that along the way, as you journey towards your own #bestmeever , you will lose people around you, not because you want to, but because it’s meant to be that way.
Don’t get me wrong: I am not saying that it’s ok to push people away when you’re struggling with your own pains. Please, stop projecting them on others. This is another topic altogether though. Hehe.
What I am saying is that you must be ready to embrace the consequences of your decisions and actions as you let things be. And that includes letting people go when the time comes and letting them be as well.
This can oftentimes be hard and messy but know along the way, no matter how crazy things are as of the moment, they needed to happen so that you can become the person you’re meant to be.
I mentioned a little about this earlier. You see, the Universe sends you people to teach you valuable lessons you need to move forward and thrive in this lifetime. The key here is to notice the kind of people you attract in your space. What are their similarities? What patterns in your relationships have you observed? Becoming more mindful about them and taking each and every lesson to heart allows you to outgrow some people who are meant to be in your life for just a short amount of time. And that’s ok. Outgrowing people does not make you a bad person. It’s all about accepting the fact that when re-writing your story, not everyone can still have a part in it. Be grateful your paths crossed and just let the relationship be, whatever it becomes there after.
2. You deserve someone better
One of the hardest decisions to make is to let go of a person you have gotten so used to having in your life, no matter how toxic the relationship you may have. But truth be told, that’s one of the best decisions you can make for yourself: to let go. You have to be brave enough to end things so you can start on a clean slate so that you get to realize what you are missing out in this life time: and that is to be loved and cared for genuinely by someone you truly want and deserve for yourself.
3. It’s teaching you to be independent
Take this to heart: your genuine happiness and fulfillment is within. It’s never found on anyone or anything else around you. You have to be willing to make yourself uncomfortable as you stand on your own and choose what’s best for you. You don’t need anyone else’s approval to do just that. Remember: when the going gets tough and people start to leave you, take it as a good sign to discover how strong you are and how great you can still be on your own. You never did lose your value. They (the people who left) lost you.
4. You become more mindful about the miracles around you
At times we focus too much on our relationship with others that we forget the most important one: the one we have with ourselves. When people leave you, you now get to appreciate yourself from the core, knowing that it’s all up to you on how you intent to move forward from the experience. They key here is to become more mindful of the silver linings and the blessings you failed to notice before. For all you know, the people who truly deserve to be in your life were there all along and the little events you overlooked were actually gateways to where you’re meant to be eventually. Open your mind, eyes and heart to the possibility that hey, things can be better.
5. You get to start all over again minus the added pressure
Your way, your rules. How beautiful it is to start all over again without having to consider people (and whose opinion) who have held you back in the first place. It’s time to ensure that you hear your own voice and become accountable for your own growth and happiness. Go at your own pace and choose to own your space, whatever it may be. Remember: being single, more so doing things on your own, does not necessarily mean that you’re unhappy and lonely. So stop judging and pressuring yourself, my dear.
The good thing about life is that all the things and people you lose along the way will eventually be replaced by something better.
Be grateful that once in your life your paths crossed.
But now, life goes on. So can you.
Even without them.
Everything happens for a reason.
Yep, this applies to both good and bad.
Of course we can’t deny the fact that having a smooth sailing journey will always be preferred.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to get from point A to point B in the most pleasant, fastest way possible?
However, consider this: challenging times help you grow more.
They help you discover the strengths you never thought you had.
They help improve your mindset, heartset and skills set so you can adapt accordingly and thrive thereafter.
They help make the achievement your goals and end results more meaningful and rewarding.
So we shouldn’t be taking difficult days as something negative and as a hindrance to our growth.
So at this moment, I want you to take a step back and reflect: what challenges do you have now in your space?
How are you dealing with them?
Whatever you’re going through right now, know that it’s ok. It’s part of your #bestmeever journey.
Here’s the thing: sometimes you will learn best the hard way. Take a look at your struggles now and identify any pattern present: are there difficult situations or experiences that are repeating itself time and again? It’s the Universe’s way of telling you that there’s an important lesson you need to learn so that it doesn’t happen again. Be open to seeking it and humbly receiving it so you can break the pattern and move on and forward from that particular struggle that has been holding you back for the longest time. Yep, until you learn, the struggles that carry the lesson will persist. And of course you don’t want that.
2. Consider the brighter possibilities
Oftentimes when we feel overwhelmed, we focus too much on what can go wrong and heavily anticipate for it to happen. Uhm. Stop. Don’t lose sight of the other side of the story which carries the probability of things working out in your favor. Never underestimate your 50% chances of winning, which you can only utilize as you come from a space of curiosity. Ask yourself this question: what if everything goes well after this? That way, you begin to see your struggles as stepping stones rather than huge blockages.
3. Recognize and act on your rooms for improvement
Struggling can be such a humbling experience. It teaches you to become more mindful about yourself and your growth. What you can do though is come from a space of openness and assess the areas where you’re struggling and what you can do to improve your chances of overcoming it. Do you need to upskill? Create a plan B? Have a change of mindset? Do what you must to apply necessary tweaks in how you deal with your struggles so you can get your desired different result.
4. Change your narrative
What if you knew that you have the power to change the way your story ends? How differently will you face your struggles at present? Try visualizing your desired outcome: if you weren’t coming from fear (or whatever negative emotion that’s holding you back), what will you do differently? How would you become the hero in your own story? Come from that space, as everything you need is already within you.
5. Practice gratitude
When you see the silver linings in your struggle, you get to appreciate them and the space you’re in more. We tend to forget how blessed we are at the moment because we focus too much on all the things that aren’t happening as planned. However, know that struggles pave way for us to become more mindful about what really matters in our lives. Think about this: would whatever is stressing you at the moment still matter in say a year’s time? Having that realization allows you to focus more on the things that really bring you genuine joy and fulfillment, something which you may have taken for granted whether knowingly or unknowingly along the way. And having that realization can be quite a game changer indeed.
Struggling is normal. So never feel that you’re alone in that part of your journey.
What is important here is that we make the most of each and every struggle that comes our way.
Because for all you know, they are your potential strengths in disguise.
Take time to really uncover them.
