It’s a sad day for me.
My fur baby, Miyuki just died.
And the rain outside matches the tears falling down my cheeks as I write this.
You see it’s not easy to let go of someone who has been with me for 3 years.
You see, I have always described Miyuki as my kindest, sweetest cat (I have 6 more).
He was, true to this description, till his last breath.
I vividly remember how I fell in love with him the first time I saw him in a Pet Shop in Cartimar.
I was just supposed to buy fish and supplies for my aquarium when I decided to just take a walk to look around the other pets available there.
Trivia: I always had a soft spot for animals and growing up, I used to say that I wanted to be a Zoologist someday. But after realizing that Science and I don’t really have much chemistry, that dream of mine changed eventually.
But back to my chance meeting with this beautiful soul.
I remember seeing him from afar, his big built and wavy tuxedo fur caught my eye immediately because he stood out amidst smaller sized kittens his age. Add the fact that he had a gold chain on his neck then, so how could I have missed him? Haha!
“He’s so huge and cute!” I told Drei who was accompanying me then who was also as mesmerized as I was.
I then approached the seller and asked about him. Back then, he was an 8-month old, big-boned exotic persian kitten with chubby cheeks and a flat low nose. Yes, I wanted to grab him and squeeze him and his overly fluffy black and white fur because he was that adorable when he looked at me but I had to stop myself as he wasn’t mine then…yet.
“How much?” I nonchalantly asked, pretending to be disinterested but deep inside I wanted to kidnap him already.
The seller gave a steep price and explained that Miyuki was just delivered that morning because the original owner was migrating abroad and could not take Miyuki with him. My heart broke into a thousand pieces then knowing how it must have been painful for both of them to be separated.
I nodded, said thanks and started to walk away after giving Miyuki one last look. I knew deep inside then that we had a connection but I was fighting with my inner logic that I went there to buy fishes for my aquarium and not a cat. Not a big, tuxedo cutie cat with beautiful eyes that warmed my heart instantly.
Walking away was futile as I found myself constantly thinking about Miyuki and discussing with Drei how much I wanted him but found him too pricey for a totally unplanned purchase.
But I know myself. I don’t fall in love easily. But with Miyuki, I just knew it immediately.
Was it the gold chain? His sad story? Or his purpose in my life eventually?
After doing two more rounds to process my thoughts, I found myself walking back to where Miyuki was. I remember having doubts when I approached the seller again and requested to hold Miyuki in my arms.
It felt like home. I was truly happy.
I knew one thing right then and there: He was my fur baby.
The way he hugged me tight and looked at me with such peaceful eyes allowed me to understand where he is coming from.
I had been left behind suddenly before by people whom I thought would stay. And it sucks big time. I can’t let it happen to this beautiful creature whose loyalty will put others to shame.
So trusting the Universe, we negotiated and after some calls, the odds aligned in our favor. We got Miyuki for the price we wanted. Though not a steal, that value was far less compared to the joy it brought me knowing that he was now mine.
And to seal that deal, the moment I hugged him again, he pooped on me. Haha! I remember not knowing whether to laugh or cry then. I saw it as a sign that he marked me his as well.
Who would have known that was the start of a beautiful 3-year love story with my kindest fur baby? One that I never thought would end until today because I had everything planned out: he will have his own wife and kids, we would take countless Christmas pictures as a family and watch Netflix and cuddle endlessly.
It was a beautiful vision.
A vision that I had after spending almost everyday with this beautiful soul who never got tired of reminding me how special I was no matter whatever I was going through at any moment.
One who never judged me when I felt I did something wrong nor when I had my moods.
He would still knock at 5am at my bedroom door, eat breakfast at 6am happily, sit by my side quietly at 9am as I start working , nudging me from time to time when he wants to go to the bathroom to do his business or when he just wants a quick hug in between. After a long day, he would quietly hop on my bed after I do my prayers and watch Netflix with me, staring at me every now and then to check if I am still awake or if he wants to be held. He perfectly knows that on or before 9pm he has to get out of my room so I can sleep, and he can wander around my place.
He was everyone’s favorite cat because he was the first one to ever reach out to all my other fur babies. He would never show aggression and will approach them slowly with eyes wide open and gently touch them with his hairy paw and smell them as he butts head with them. I always enjoy watching him play with the younger kittens, his energy quite surprising given his calm demeanor. He even has this practice of bracing himself as if like the toy race car that you have to pull back first before he launches himself forward to chase my other fur babies during play.
He has always been hard to bathe and would not look at me each time I had him take one or after he was groomed. He fears the presence of strangers and being placed inside the cat bag, because I feel he still has this notion that he was to be given away, time and again I have proven wrong in the last 3 years because my entire family showered him with so much love and affection he truly wanted and deserved, like how he managed to touch our lives in such a wonderful and meaningful way.
Even my dear friend Jen, the official godmother of my cats, who would take care of him whenever I will be traveling oversees fell in love with him and would always praise Miyuki for being such a sweet, lovable cat. I can’t blame her. He was an angel.
And today, as he was finally laid to rest after getting sick barely in a week’s time, he embarked on his journey using his little wings towards cat heaven, wherever that may be.
It pains me to have realized the signs that he was feeling something weird in the last few days, maybe because I was also too caught up with a lot of things in my life e.g. my cousin died a couple of days before, some changes in work schedules, project delays and a number of other matters that made me overlook that my Miyuki was trying his best to let me know he was saying goodbye.
I remember how he would go to my room and lie on my bed looking at the window quietly and stay there for long periods of time.
I can recall asking him at night when he cuddles near me when he would refuse to go out of my room even when it’s time and how he will run back in whenever I will bring him out. It struck me he wanted to stay by my side then.
When he started not eating and losing his energy, I would feed him by hand and hold him tight which in turn will make him take little sips of his milk and little bites on his food. He wanted to please me till the very end.
He started isolating himself from the rest of my fur babies and he will oftentimes go underneath the Christmas tree I had, something which he has never done before. Maybe it was his way of making himself be remembered during my most favorite time of the year.
And when I decided to bring him to the vet, he let out loud cries, I don’t know whether it’s because of pain or of pure sadness because he didn’t have enough time to say goodbye to his other brothers and sisters and it was obvious he didn’t want to leave us.
He knew. I just felt that.
And as much as I hate to say this, I think I knew too.
As a person who always writes down his dreams, I wrote 6 days before his death that I dreamed about Miyuki was dying. It was after having another dream about my aunt who passed away two months ago and she was crying.
I guess the Universe was already giving me signs then but since on that same day I had that dream, my cousin died from a motorcycle accident there after that may have led me to ignore it until it was too late.
But I know in my heart that I did everything I could, with all that I had to save Miyuki. I was there when he was admitted to Manila Feline Hospital and stayed there until I could. I never stopped reminding him how much I loved hime and that we will be waiting for him at home. He gave me one last look before I left. This was right after I came back from work on a weekend.
A few hours later, he died.
The last look he gave when I called his name took all of his strength remaining just to say goodbye and acknowledge me. I can never forget that face.I can never forget him.
Writing this now made me realize how much of an impact Miyuki had on my life.
He taught me how it is to love unconditionally.
Of how to appreciate simple joys.
How it feels to be supported and appreciated as I am.
He taught me how it is to look at others without judgment as I come from kindness.
I wish I could just be as kind as my kindest cat.
Miyuki was one of a kind. And he can never be replaced.
Run free, Miyuki.
Please watch over us all. I will miss you terribly.
You will always be my kindest, sweetest fur baby.
I love you forever Miyuki.
Fact: people will always remember not what you’ve done in the past, but rather the one thing (or things) that you have done at present.
I guess that’s where seeing is believing comes in.
And that is where judgement resides too.
Have you ever experienced being crucified (hopefully not literally though) by those around you just because of the that one mistake you have done, regardless of its size or impact?
I mean let’s face it, a lot of times people forget about your kindness when you commit something that’s totally out of character.
But hey, we are only human. And we are not perfect.
We are bound to commit mistakes. And that’s ok.
We have to be kinder to ourselves too.
However, we must also be mindful about our actions that come there after.
And of what comes next.
This was actually my realization that inspired me to write about this piece.
You see, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who had this habit of keeping others hanging when telling a story.
Are you familiar with the cliff hanger scenes in a series wherein you get too much excited to find out what the hero/heroine will do but then a commercial break appears or much worse, end credits signaling your long, agonizing wait till the next episode. Haha!
If you hate that feeling, imagine how I felt when my friend suddenly paused dramatically in mid sentence and looked at me smiling.
Mustering all my will power and courage as to not strangle her (haha!), I just looked at her straight in the eye, and asked in my least interested tone “And then?”
“You could have been more excited!” she said.
“I would have if you didn’t leave me hanging.”, me laughing harder.
Listening to her continue her story though, to be honest, it fell short of my expectations.
So that is what struck me: that I became too focused now on what she said after I asked “and then?” that I lost track of all other things she said beforehand.
And then demarcated the continuation of her story.
And the beginning of my disinterest (maybe because it was my inner self taking revenge for being left hanging, haha!) in her own delulu moment (sorry friend!).
Don’t get me wrong: I still let her finish and I genuinely gave my input about her concern on hand. After all, we are friends.
And at that moment, I realized an important lesson: we can always have our own “and then” moments.
My friend chose to handle things her way. That’s perfectly fine. It’s her narrative.
We can always pause first, reflect and test the waters. And then act there after.
We can always choose and commit to whatever decision we have made. And then we work on it.
We can always start all over again from scratch. And then work our way up once more.
People will always judge us, not just by the version they knew, but also by what we choose to become here and now.
Which means….when we define our very own “and then” moments.
And yes, it doesn’t need to flat out.
So now, I want you to take this time to reflect:
How are you going to craft your new narrative?
What happens next?
What will your “and then” moment be like?
I hope this piece inspires you to finally focus on owning your next chapter.
Don’t keep yourself (and others) hanging.
It’s only the beginning.
Of something far greater than you’ve ever imagined.
You can’t have it all.
Otherwise, you’ll be perfect. And that’s not possible.
Because nobody is.
And yes, that’s pretty much ok.
Hey, don’t get me wrong: you can always aspire for more.
No one is stopping you from dreaming bigger or achieving more.
You deserve that.
What I am trying to say is that it’s ok if you don’t get exactly what you want.
May it be winning in a competition.
The promotion you worked hard for.
The trip that got cancelled.
The person you were pursuing.
The relationship that you lost.
And whatever else that may have cause you pain and suffering.
Take this time to assess: what is it that’s burdening you as of the moment? How are you dealing with it?
Whatever it may be, no matter how heavy it may seem, please do me a favor: promise me you’ll be kinder to yourself.
Promise me that you will stop blaming yourself for what happened.
That you will stop thinking of yourself negatively.
That you won’t give up on yourself.
Do it not only for me, but for youself because you are worthy of second chances amidst all the craziness surrounding you.
A second, third, fourth or no matter how many it takes.
Your imperfections don’t make you insignificant.
It does not make you less of a person.
It makes you human.
And they humble you in the process of maximizing what you have so you can become what you’re meant to be.
It’s all about learning from your imperfections and the things that have gone wrong while working around them using the lessons you now have.
Never attach your happiness to things, people or situations that you feel will make your life perfect.
Your happiness is here and now. Within you, and whom you choose to be.
It does not come when things are perfect.
It comes when you are ready to embrace your reality and take up space as you are, no matter how imperfect the situation may seem.
Look around you. What do you need to be more mindful about? What can you appreciate more?
Look within you. What needs to change? How can you make that happen?
You are a work in progress. So are we. And that’s ok.
You may not have it all. And that’s fine.
Because all it takes is genuine appreciation for what you have and who you’re becoming as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
Keep going. Keep growing.
In your own special, imperfect way.
Being brave can take you further in life.
So true, don’t you think?
Think about this: how many times have your fears stopped you from becoming your own #bestmeever ?
Hey, don’t start beating yourself up now because that isn’t exactly the solution to overcome whatever hurdles you may have now.
Remember: loving yourself is actually your own responsibility. So never forget to give yourself what is due: kindness, understanding and the chance to maximize all the opportunities given to you by being brave enough to go for them while feeling worthy all through out.
I know: easier said than done. Most especially if you feel that the world has collapsed underneath you and everything around you just looks and feels uncertain. Not exactly ideal for anyone, if I may say.
However, if you’re truly committed to yourself, your happiness and your growth, know that you can summon that inner courage you thought you never had. Yup, it has always been there; you just have to inquire within and let your inspiration draw it out as you re-write your own story once more.
Here’s the thing: change is inevitable and very much beautiful. You just have to trust yourself and the process more to be able to really see the purpose behind each one unfold. Resisting change actually makes you feel stuck and blurs your own vision of growth and happiness. Think about this: what if the seemingly uncomfortable changes you’re undergoing now is actually preparing you for greater things ahead? Patience my dear; everything will eventually fall into place.
2. Failures
Nobody’s perfect. So why even pressure yourself too much to be just that? Let yourself be. Do what you can with all that you have and with the clearest intentions on hand. That will always be more than enough. Even if things don’t go as planned and you find yourself at the “losing” end, know that it’s not the end of the world. It’s actually just the beginning for you as you take new lessons to heart and use them accordingly moving forward. Yes, failures can be blessings in disguise too.
3. Growing old
Growing old is a privilege. Not everyone gets to celebrate his/her birthday until his/her hair turns gray. Embrace it. Stop equating it with loss of beauty, significance, health or mobility. Instead, see old age as a sign of growth and wisdom, an inspiration for all those who have yet to embark on the journey you have accomplished. The key here is to ensure that you make the most of each and every moment so that when you look back someday, you won’t have any regrets.
4. Starting all over again
Back to zero. This is what a lot of people dread, most especially during old age where they feel they have so much to lose. Not true though. With nothing else to lose, there’s so much more to gain as you commit to working your way up. To be free to do and be what you want in this lifetime is a priceless experience so never let tenure or the fear of letting go of what you have prevent you from pursuing what you truly want and deserve. It will always be worth it.
5. Embracing your authentic self
As you are, you are very much worthy and deserving to take up space. Never let anything or anyone make you feel otherwise. By being brave enough to show your authentic self to the rest of the world, you inspire others to set themselves free too from their own fear of rejection and judgment. Be the inspiration you were called to be in this lifetime.
I hope you get to reflect accordingly about these so that you can finally tap into that courage within as you live the life you truly want and deserve.
Believe in yourself. You can do it.
I always say this to people who are forcing themselves in certain situations:
Don’t come from obligation. Come from inspiration.
Makes sense right?
I mean who wants to be merely forced to do things just because it’s their duty or that responsibility was bestowed upon them?
Whether it’s about being the eldest in the family to take care of all your siblings or the youngest who is expected to just listen and follow,
To being the breadwinner in the family,
to having a senior (or most junior) position at work where expectations and deliverables vary
among others.
Can you relate?
I guess the bigger question is: how much do you really like what you’re expected to do every single day based on the role you portray?
Let’s be honest. It can be quite hard at times.
Simply because as you try to live up to the expectations of others, you oftentimes put yourself and your needs last simply because you feel that you shouldn’t be a priority because work (or your role) calls.
Imagine the stress, the shame, and other negative emotions that are brought about by the pressure to conform and just deliver.
However, truth be told, forcing yourself won’t do you (or the relationship at stake) any good.
You’ll only end up hating yourself and the space you’re in, in the long run.
So the key here is to come from inspiration, as you fill in each responsibility or duty with new meaning to keep you going.
As you challenge yourself by handling multiple tasks all at the same time, you allow yourself to learn and grow in the process. No matter how uncomfortable the situation may seem at first, by embracing it fully minus any form of resistance, you get to make the most of the journey as you become the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
2. Take note of the lives you can change
You are perhaps the ray of hope everyone else around you needed at that time. Be that enabler of change. Know that the seeds you plant today may bring about that much needed growth and change you dreamed not only for others, but for yourself as well. It just had to start with you loving what you do.
3. You allow your relationships to bloom
Never underestimate your impact in the lives of others. By willingly helping out, you help build trust and establish stronger bonds with the people around you. This makes the journey easier when you allow them to support you as well to ensure that everyone is on the same page, with the same goal in mind so you never feel alone as you take the lead.
4. You get to recognize your own value
It could have been anyone else, but it was handed on to you. There’s a reason for everything and God does not give you any challenge that you can’t overcome. It’s been given to you because it’s meant to teach you beautiful lessons you need moving forward. You are the chosen one. You are good enough, worthy enough. Know that someday you will look back and realize why everything had to happen that way. Simply because, they were preparing you to become the person you’re meant to be.
5. You don’t end up having regrets
When you don’t like what you’re doing, you tend to complain left and right, oftentimes missing out on the important moments, milestones and lessons along the way. By loving what you do and being inspired by your own responsibilities, you get to maximize the space you’re in and look beyond desired results as you just focus on enjoying the journey while living fully. Don’t let your obligations stop you from making the most of this lifetime.
I hope after reading this, you have unburdened yourself from the responsibilities you may be carrying.
Use them as a springboard instead that will bring you closer to what you’re meant to be:
an amazing inspiration to everyone else around you.
Life doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be beautiful and worth sharing.
I hope this hits home hard.
Seriously. Having a highly curated life on social media does not exactly equate to enjoying life as is, in general.
But come to think of it: why do people tend to hide the other (note my conscious decision to use that neutral word) of life?
What is it about the less than perfect moments that make us want to hide them?
What misconceptions do you have about your own?
Take this time to reflect:
Which part of your life are you hiding from the rest of the world due to shame?
A failure?
Unguarded moments caught on cam?
Criticisms from others?
What makes you want to bury them into oblivion?
I know that you may have your own reasons for keeping them invisible to the prying eyes of everyone around you but hey, I just want you to know this:
It’s ok to share those less than perfect, less than happy moments with the rest of the world.
It doesn’t make you less of a person each time you talk about what others may be dreading to discuss.
In fact, by doing so, you become a beacon of hope and strength for all those who need to overcome their own shame.
How many times have you heard me say: “Your past should not define you.”? There, I said it again. But hey it’s true. Think about this: you can’t exactly turn back time more so undo what has been done. You can only focus on learning from the experience. That means, whatever you’ve been through before, no matter how tough life was, it’s ok. Show off your battle scars. They are beautiful reminders that you’ve made it this far in this life time, a privilege which not everyone gets to enjoy because they let their past hold them back.
2. Your present
Where you are right now at this point in your life is only temporary. So why be ashamed of it? It’s merely a pitstop; just a tiny spec in your life’s journey ahead. Wouldn’t it be inspiring for others to see how you decided to work on yourself at present to eventually become the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever ? Know that your life at present does not have to be free from flaws to be meaningful and rewarding. What is important to remember here is that you were brave enough to start and committed enough to continue on with your journey.
3. Your relationships
Never hide the people you truly matter to you. Whether it’s a family member, a dear friend or a special someone, be proud of the relationship you have. That shows how much value you put in the relationship by acknowledging it fully. Ok, you don’t have to go overboard about posting sweet pics or writing mushy stuff every now and then; what I am saying is that never deny people in your life, regardless of how others may respond to your admittance. It’s ok though. You are not here to please anyone nor allow anyone to dictate whom you could share spaces with.
4. Your struggles
It’s normal to have ups and downs in life. Take that to heart please. Never be ashamed of your struggles. It’s ok to be vulnerable and admit that you need help. It actually shows how strong you are and how mindfully aware you are of your own needs and wants. At the end of the day, too much pride won’t help resolve your challenges on hand so best if you acknowledge your own difficulties and allow yourself to receive the support you need as you inspire others to be comfortable enough to ask for help too. No man is an island and nobody’s perfect so just stay true and give yourself what is due.
5. Your goals and dreams
No matter how big they may be, you are very much worthy of your own goals and dreams. If you truly want to manifest them to reality, speak with pride about them and feel as if they already came true. Don’t ever minimize them or shrink yourself just to fit in or to avoid being judged by others. It will never be worth each time you shortchange yourself. You have what it takes to succeed and no matter how ambitious you may seem, you have nothing to explain to others who aren’t even part of your dreams.
As you are, you are worthy to take up space, express yourself and live life fully and free.
Never let shame make you feel otherwise.
Time to live brave and proud.
Do you believe in serendipity?
I do.
And you seeing this is no accident.
I have always believed that everything happens for a reason.
Good or bad, each particular event in our lives is meant to shape us moving forward through key realizations and timely lessons.
And for some reasons, as rain pours down heavily outside of my window, I felt compelled to write this blog.
Is it a channeled message? Don’t know.
Is it something which perhaps may be timely and relevant for you? Perhaps.
To dig deeper on that note, take a few minutes to assess your current space.
How’s your journey towards your own #bestmeever ?
Are there patterns in your life you need to recognize?
What is the key message of everything happening around you (and within you)?
Ok, don’t overanalyze. The key here is to embrace things as they are and allow yourself to really feel and understand what you need as of the moment.
1. Where you are now is just the starting point of your journey.
Don’t fret. While your present is teaching you all the lessons you need to thrive moving forward, it may not be exactly embody your final destination. Applies to when you’re having the time of your life or when it seems that you’ve hit your lowest point. Use whatever it is that your current space is teaching you so that you start strong as you embark on that life changing journey towards what you truly want and deserve in this life time. Remember: it’s not about where or who you are at present, but rather, what you choose to become (and do) about it. Yes, the exciting part is yet to happen.
2. You’ve been through worse and survived.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a number of less than pleasant situations that make us forget our very own worth and progress. Never let challenging times overwhelm you and invalidate your growth. Remember how far you’ve gone and honor yourself. I am sure that if you draw inspiration from your past experiences experiences you never thought you would survive but did, you can definitely ace the one you are facing now.
3. You have a choice.
You are not stuck. You are not helpless. Your life isn’t over. While there may be things beyond your control, you always have the choice to see them differently and allow yourself to focus on what you can still do. And whatever you choose for as long as you take responsibility, no matter how others may react towards your choices, know that you are not obliged to explain yourself and justify each one. So choose to stop stressing yourself because for as long as you’re alive, you can change the space you’re in by choice.
4. It’s time.
I don’t know but I felt like writing this. How does this resonate with you? Maybe it’s time to change careers? Pursue a passion you’ve parked? Invest on yourself? Say sorry? Fall in love? Go back home? I think now will always be the perfect time to do whatever it is that is in your heart because no one can really predict what the future holds for everyone of us. As what the famous quote of R’Bonney Gabriel said in her winning answer in Miss Universe then: if not now, then when? Makes a lot of sense to me. And hopefully, to you too.
5. You matter.
You have a beautiful role to play in this life time. Know that in your own little way, someone out there is inspired to push forward because you showed him/her that it’s possible. As you are also, regardless of what you’ve been through or whatever you’re going through as of the moment, know that you are supported and loved and that you are not alone in your journey. Remember: even total strangers have compassionate hearts. So allow yourself to take up space because that is what you deserve.
I know that as random as these thoughts may seem, I hope at least one resonated with you.
Because you reading this is a serendipitous moment leading you towards your own #bestmeever .
Enjoy the journey.
It’s unfortunate at times that we lose people along the way as we journey through life.
Whether we like it or not, certain circumstances prevent us from keeping everyone onboard all through out.
Yep, not everyone can be part of your #bestmeever journey till the end.
And that’s perfectly ok. Know that no matter how short a person’s role in your life may be, he/she has taught you the lessons you needed to know at that point in time.
However, included in the lessons you have to learn as you go through life is the willingness to fight for relationships worth saving.
Now, I want you to take this time and reflect: is there any relationship you wish to save, one that may have been affected before when life was tougher than usual?
A former flame with an unfinished business?
A family member you have strained your ties with?
An old friend you have hurt unintentionally?
And the list goes on.
Well, here’s the thing: sometimes we do things (and say things as well) which we don’t mean just because we are caught in the moment.
However, let it be known that it’s not exactly a free pass so to speak.
While we cannot undo the past, it is important to know that we still have the present moment to work with and allow ourselves to start all over again as we try to win back the people closest to our hearts.
Yup, it’s not yet the ending if it isn’t a happy one. Preach. Haha!
So yeah, you can still win them over. Or at least try.
Remember: if a relationship of whatever kind is worth saving. Go for it. You have nothing else to lose. You only have this lifetime to be happy so might as well do what you must for at the end of the day, at least you tried.
Nope. Not text. Not call. Not email. Not snail mail. Not through a friend or family member. Apologize face to face to the person you have severed ties with and show how genuinely you mean it. You don’t need to put on a show or make it grand; you just have to speak from the heart and really mean what you say. Don’t hide behind the digital space or any other person; be accountable for yourself and your actions and own the apology you are expressing.
2. Respect people’s reactions
While your intentions may be good, you can’t really expect everyone to take it the way you want them to. We all have different responses towards pain and it’s important to respect that and realize that this time around, the ball isn’t exactly on your court. You can’t (and should not) force things, relationships included. What is important here is you expressed your genuine apology and you allow yourself to listen to what the hurting party has to say and just let things be there after, coming from a space of humility and understanding.
3. Initiate the necessary changes
If you want to show your sincerity, don’t wait for the other person to tell you what needs to be done. What is key here is to reflect on what you fought about initially and what could be done differently moving forward. To win back another person, you must be willing to adjust accordingly based on your agreements or if none yet, based on what you think will be best for the relationship while taking into consideration what the other party is complaining about initially. Being pro-active can earn you extra brownie points along the way so whether or not you win the other person back, at least you have shown how much you value the relationship by embracing the changes needed.
4. Seek help from common friends/family you both trust
Bridging the gap. Pun intended haha! Kidding aside, people will respond more positively towards people they trust so if you have common friends or family members they adore fully, seek their help. Show them how much you mean your apology and ask them to help you win back the other person. Ask for tips they may have and work up a plan with them. Be humble enough to listen and accept their initial reaction though, most specially if they become over protective about the other person at first, which is quite normal. Know that eventually knowing that someone else has your back can relieve you of the unnecessary anxiety the waiting game can bring.
5. Be grateful for the impact of the other person on your own growth
I am beyond sure that once you implement the necessary improvements on your life in response to the need to make up for what you’ve done before that left people hurting, others will take notice. Never forget to be vocal and honest about thanking the other party because at the end of the day, whatever beautiful changes you have now in your space is because of the experience you initially had. This also allows the other person feel valued as he/she becomes instrumental to your own growth, and that of your relationship. Appreciation, of whatever form, can go a long way, most especially when it comes to saving relationships and winning people back.
I hope reading this inspires you to take action and win back the relationships you desire.
At the end of the day, nothing is impossible if you’re committed to making things right .
You can win this.
Never say die.
How many times have you heard this in your life time?
Whether someone told you this or you have made this your own mantra, it still serves the same purpose:
To remind you to never give up.
I know, easier said than done.
I mean admittedly, life isn’t exactly perfect at all times. Well, it doesn’t have to be really, for it to be beautiful and meaningful, but this is a totally new context all together.
What I am basically saying is that sometimes life has its own twists and turns and sometimes we find ourselves in situations that are far from ideal, oftentimes very difficult to handle.
And when things go wrong, as they sometimes will, we find ourselves wanting to just throw in the towel, run away and hope and pray by doing so closes that unwanted chapter.
Can relate?
Take this time to think: when was the last time you almost gave up on something? On someone?
What was the compelling reason then?
What was the impact of your decision?
I know that while some of you may think that it was the best decision made during that time, others may not exactly share that sentiment most specially after the dust has settled.
Because in reality, at times, giving up isn’t exactly the best solution.
1. When things are hard
Fact: you can only grow and become your own #bestmeever outside of your comfort zone. Which means when situations seem to be getting tougher and tougher and you feel overwhelmed, the key here is to pause and ground yourself, not run away at the first sight of the problem. Know that things may be hard at the beginning but if you totally commit to overcoming the challenges on hand, they become easier as you learn and grow in the process. Stop resisting and start embracing things as they are because they ae teaching you the valuable lessons you need moving forward. As they say, no pain, no gain.
2. When you truly want something
As Simon Sinek said: “Remember your Why.” You’ve made it this far. Why let everything go to waste by giving up now? Your goals and dreams deserve your 100% commitment so keep going. Remind yourself how much each one means to you and what is the value of achieving your goals and dreams eventually. Make your reasons larger than life so that they don’t get dwarfed by challenges along the way.
3. When it takes a lot of time
Not everything has to happen all at once. Greatness takes time. So should you. Don’t ever hurry growth as you may end up with half-baked results. Know that delays can also be blessings as they serve as your springboard towards improving yourself along the way as you discover the silverlining in each. Be more patient with yourself and your growth. You will fully bloom when it’s time. Until then, enjoy the journey.
4. When others are not supporting you
I’ve said it time and again before and I’ll say it again: you don’t need anyone’s go signal for you to finally give yourself what you truly want and deserve as you pursue your biggest dreams. Don’t let the lack of support from others stop you from what you’re called to do (and be). Be your own biggest cheerleader. Know that once you decide and commit to pushing through, you will eventually meet the right people who deserve to share spaces with you in this new journey of yours and who will support you unconditionally. Let others watch and see, because more often than not, they are secretly hoping that they were brave enough to at least try the way you did in their space. Yep, you are most probably triggering their insecurities.
5. When you have failed before
Your past doesn’t define you. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed before for as long as you keep going and keep improving each time you try again. Do things differently. Seek a new mentor. Learn from your mistakes. Do what you think is best so that this time around you don’t let your past failures haunt you and distract you from your goals. Know that those failures of yours will eventually be someone’s inspiration to try harder in their space and your entire journey will be someone else’s guide to ultimately surviving in this life time. Be the inspiration they (and you, yourself) need.
At the end of the day, remember this:
You will always be worth another chance, another try.
So please, don’t ever give up.
Coaching can be such a rewarding experience.
And this is based on actual experience.
You see, being a full-time professional coach for several years now, I got to maximize what my coaching practice has to offer: being able to work when and where I want to, being able to help people from all over the world get the breakthroughs they deserve while learning, growing, feeling fulfilled and genuinely happy along the way too.
I often get told by people that they want to pursue the same career because time and location freedom matter a lot to them.
I always tell them the hard truth though: it’s not easy to become a full-time professional coach. Because beyond the seemingly luxurious and freedom-filled lifestyle, is a whole lot of hard work on myself and my clients as well.
At the end of the day, it’s all about having a stable number of happy and satisfied clients and numerous testimonials and referrals based on my work as a coach.
Easier said than done though.
Consider the number of competition you have. Their offers. Their price points. And your chosen niche and practice.
What do you think is making it hard for you to secure coaching clients?
People need to know about you and what you do for them to become interested. How are you maximizing your social media platforms? Are you visible in the platforms where your desired clients are? Do you contribute to online discussions on LinkedIn or Facebook communities? Do you speak in reputable conventions? If you’re too shy or you’re quite uncomfortable showing up as a coach, then this is your sign to think again. As the saying goes, to see is to believe.
2. You don’t have a coaching brand
Amidst a sea of professional coaches, it’s very important to have a coaching brand that stands out from the rest. What do you represent in the coaching space? Who’s your market? What and how are you communicating? If you’re still unclear about these, then perhaps it contributes to the confusion your audience has about you. And for those with discriminating tastes, being just like one of the many won’t really make their cut.
3. Your price point needs adjustment
I always say that it’s important to put value on ourselves and in what we do best. In relation to that, we must also be humble enough to acknowledge our capabilities, credentials and body of work at present. This means that the goal is that you must be worth more than what you charge for. So if you’re only beginning in your practice, settle with an entry level rate. Work your way up. Go the extra mile. Let your value increase as you gather receipts of success consistently. Never overpromise. Never overprice. Make sure always that your prospective customers see you as a worthy investment of their time, money and resources. Remember: highly paid coaching superstars don’t happen overnight. So take your time and do the necessary work so you can charge as much.
4. There’s no rapport
A chemistry session presents the perfect opportunity to determine if there’s a fit between the coach and coachee. Question is: how do you present yourself during a chemistry session? Quick tip: never take for granted free sessions such as this. Just show up as your authentic self as you get to know the client better, genuinely listen and ask powerful questions. The goal should not be just to earn per se as you close the deal, but rather, make a positive lasting impression. Don’t go too hard sell. That breaks the intimacy of the session.
5. You don’t have client testimonials
Word of mouth is one of the most powerful form of marketing. Your reputation precedes you. The question is: what can you show to showcase the amazing results that you deliver? Who can vouch for you? What are your clients saying about partnering with you for their growth? Shared experiences matter a lot. After all, investing on one’s self and one’s growth is one of the best investments a person can make so make yourself highly bookable via the good reviews your clients have given you. No amount of online advertisement can compensate for authentic reviews in the long run. So if you’re just starting, give as many free sessions as you can and secure client testimonials from them. Focus on building your credibility first.
Hopefully you can take a step back and assess which of these aspects need work on your end.
Remember to be patient with yourself and your growth as a coach though.
Because when you’re truly ready, your clients will come.
