Fact: Not everyone will be happy for you when you succeed. Also a fact: You can’t force these people to change.
There, I said it. Now take it all in.
I know. And I totally get you.
Been there. Been that.
And to be candid about it, as I continue journeying towards my own #bestmeever , I continue to experience that still.
What I have come to realize about the entire experience of growing into the person you’re meant to be is that some people will not be able to grow in harmony with you.
As you soar higher in this life time, some will get left behind.
Sadly though, regardless of the relationship you have with them, these will be the very same people who will try to minimize your success.
I have heard (and been told upfront) these before:
“Only bronze?” – when I first placed in the 2022 edition of the Coach Awards in the Best Wellness Coach Category.
“He just probably paid for his awards and articles.” – when I got recognized by a number of international media and organizations for my work and got included in their listicles.
“You charge too much.” – from a person who hasn’t even tried my services and didn’t bother reading the testimonials of my clients
“He’s not that big time yet globally.” – said someone about my international exposures and clients.
“He’s just charming and the audience loves him that’s why he gets invited often” – said someone who questioned my multiple media exposures and subject matter expert interviews.
“National Bookstore? Only ranked #9. It’s just Amazon. Anyone can best selling author there.” – said someone who had a self-published book which barely made any sales.
And I can go on and on from the years of experiencing such.
And I know you can relate too.
When people tell you that you aren’t good enough.
That you had it easy.
That your achievements don’t really matter that much.
But let me tell you this now: that isn’t exactly the case.
Allow me to share with you the 5 things you can do when someone minimizes your success:
Remind yourself that you define your own success
Success is relative. And it’s not just anchored on huge milestones or achievements. Success can mean as much as starting your own fitness journey, saying NO for the first time or simply making it through the day. You define it. Never let others implement ridiculous metrics that you don’t even subscribe to.
2. Don’t carry the weight of others’ projections on you
When people try to bring you down, it stems from their own insecurities, frustrations and pains. Really successful and genuinely happy people don’t have time to minimize the success of others simply because they have so much joy in their space and they are very much secure to let others share spaces and grow in harmony with them. In my case, I always reflect: what can be their reason for doing that? What pain is driving their action? For all you know, they probably want your success for themselves. Or they try to bring you down because they feel they’re being left behind. That makes me feel compassion than resistance while letting go of the unnecessary baggage their comments bring. And yes, you don’t need to deal with their pains. It’s theirs to carry and process.
3. Reflect: What’s the value of their comment in your journey towards growth?
Oftentimes, the people who belittle you and your success don’t really have that much value in your life. Total strangers. Acquaintances. People you had a fall out with. So…why would their opinion matter? The mere fact that they didn’t have any significant contribution to your growth, why be burdened by what they have to say? You don’t have to take in everything and you don’t have to explain yourself.
4. Focus on those who truly value and celebrate you
You don’t deserve to be held back from becoming your best by anyone. So instead on dwelling too much on the approval and validation you never got, focus on all the kind words and gestures from people who genuinely love and support you. Their presence in your life weighs more. Reflect: who are these people in your life who truly have your back? Keep them closer.
5. Continue celebrating your success
Huge trigger for those who want to bring you down, if I may say. When you are very much secured about yourself and you have the purest intention of inspiring others as you share and celebrate success, its value amplifies. Someone out there needs to see you push forward so he/she will also be inspired to take his/her first step towards growth even if some people are making things harder than usual. Play the part. Be the disruptor. Show others how it’s done. Succeed even more. Consistency drives nay sayers beyond crazy. Best clap back ever without lifting a finger.
Wherever you are now, I hope you become more comfortable in acknowledging your own worth and success.
You don’t need anyone else to be proud of you to validate your progress and significance in this life time.
You matter. Everything about you does.
Take that to heart always as you give yourself the success that is due.
I will always be proud of you. Now, be proud of yourself too.
Do you believe in serendipity? I do. And you seeing this is no accident.
I have always believed that everything happens for a reason.
What is the key message of everything happening around you (and within you)?
Ok, don’t overanalyze. The key here is to embrace things as they are and allow yourself to really feel and understand what you need as of the moment.
To help you a bit, feel free to check on these 5 things that you need to know now. Who knows, they may exactly be the one you need for today to help you process everything:
1. Where you are now is just the starting point of your journey.
Don’t fret. While your present is teaching you all the lessons you need to thrive moving forward, it may not be exactly embody your final destination. Applies to when you’re having the time of your life or when it seems that you’ve hit your lowest point. Use whatever it is that your current space is teaching you so that you start strong as you embark on that life changing journey towards what you truly want and deserve in this life time. Remember: it’s not about where or who you are at present, but rather, what you choose to become (and do) about it. Yes, the exciting part is yet to happen.
2. You’ve been through worse and survived.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a number of less than pleasant situations that make us forget our very own worth and progress. Never let challenging times overwhelm you and invalidate your growth. Remember how far you’ve gone and honor yourself. I am sure that if you draw inspiration from your past experiences experiences you never thought you would survive but did, you can definitely ace the one you are facing now.
3. You have a choice.
You are not stuck. You are not helpless. Your life isn’t over. While there may be things beyond your control, you always have the choice to see them differently and allow yourself to focus on what you can still do. And whatever you choose for as long as you take responsibility, no matter how others may react towards your choices, know that you are not obliged to explain yourself and justify each one. So choose to stop stressing yourself because for as long as you’re alive, you can change the space you’re in by choice.
4. It’s time.
I don’t know but I felt like writing this. How does this resonate with you? Maybe it’s time to change careers? Pursue a passion you’ve parked? Invest on yourself? Say sorry? Fall in love? Go back home? I think now will always be the perfect time to do whatever it is that is in your heart because no one can really predict what the future holds for everyone of us. As what the famous quote of R’Bonney Gabriel said in her winning answer in Miss Universe then: if not now, then when? Makes a lot of sense to me. And hopefully, to you too.
5. You matter.
You have a beautiful role to play in this life time. Know that in your own little way, someone out there is inspired to push forward because you showed him/her that it’s possible. As you are also, regardless of what you’ve been through or whatever you’re going through as of the moment, know that you are supported and loved and that you are not alone in your journey. Remember: even total strangers have compassionate hearts. So allow yourself to take up space because that is what you deserve.
I know that as random as these thoughts may seem, I hope at least one resonated with you.
Because you reading this is a serendipitous moment leading you towards your own #bestmeever . Enjoy the journey.
For some, work is life.
Like nine-to-five is dedicated solely to what pays the bills.
At times, it goes beyond that as well.
Longer work hours. No holidays.
More time with officemates. More time to build one’s career.
However, in the process of focusing too much on work for wanting to earn a living, we forget one important thing:
To live the life we have always wanted.
Take this time to read through this list of 5 things which I believe are far more important than work:
Your health and well-being
How have you been managing your stress lately? Have you had enough time to actually sit back, relax and pamper yourself? Remember, it’s very important to take care of your overall health, because at the end of the day, if it suffers, working won’t even be possible. Make sure to include exercise, healthy diet, meditation and other self-care routines in between to allow yourself to always be at the pink of health.
Your quality time with loved ones
When the going gets tough, trust that your loved ones will never fire you. I doubt it if same goes at work. Haha! What I am just saying is, you also need to spend more time with people who truly matter to you because at the end of the day, long after work is over, they’re the ones by your side, no matter what happens. Working long hours can never compensate for missing out on very important family occasions, personal milestones and the like because those are priceless.
Your personal growth
So yeah, cool, your work pays the bills and you get to reach the top of the food chain in your career ladder. However, beyond your success, are you really able to pursue what makes your heart fulfilled? Have you really given yourself time to pursue your passion or learn something new? Know that your own #bestmeever is not defined by your work alone.
Your own happiness
Are you genuinely happy outside of what you do at work? Have you given yourself the permission to just be and experience the best things in life without feeling guilty about your work deadlines? Remember that it’s ok to put yourself as your top priority, simply because if you’re coming from a space of happiness, everything around you will be in alignment — your work included. Never deprive yourself from the kind of life you truly want and deserve.
Leaving a mark in the lives of others
Picture this, how would you like others to remember you? Someone who worked long hours or became a CEO of a company? Or someone who helped change their lives and inspired them to be their best? It’s all about allowing yourself to be relevant beyond the walls of your office by reaching out to others and making a difference in their lives. Know that you are never too busy to help and that allows your heart to come from a space of overflow. It helps to be surrounded with like minded people who can empower and inspire you from within.
I hope that you get to work on living the life you’ve always wanted.
