2025 is almost over.
And I don’t know if you can relate with me on this but have you been doing a lot of reflecting lately?
And I don’t mean about superficial stuff like what to do with your bonus or where to spend the upcoming holidays. Though admittedly that’s more fun. Haha!
But rather, thinking about the year that was and the goals that you have achieved for yourself since 2025 began.
How are you doing?
How many items have you ticked off your list?
Take this time to appreciate how far you’ve gone.
Because no matter how your progress looks like at the moment, what is important is that you never gave up.
And for that, you deserve a pat on the back.
Now, on the other hand, are there items on your bucket list that are still left unchecked?
The question is: what’s the reason behind that?
What really is holding you back from finally ticking them off your list?
Hear me out on this: whatever you’ve been through does not define who you are and what you can still be. Know that everything happens for a reason and turn each and every experience that you’ve had into stepping stones towards your biggest goals. Never forget that you have that choice (and power) to look beyond what initially caused you pain and suffering and focus on the silver linings. You may not be able to undo the past but you can definitely still work on your present and create the future you want for yourself. Use the lessons you learned wisely with the clearest of intentions.
2. Your present situation
Life may not be the way you planned it at present and things may be harder than usual. You may be struggling now but it’s important to know that it’s only temporary. It will pass. Don’t miss the chance to make the most of your present by coming from a space of openness and doing away with any form of resentment so you can fully grow in harmony with what your current space is teaching you. Be patient enough to endure and allow yourself to hang on to hope as things change for the better eventually.
3. Your fears
Let me share with you a piece of truth: more often than not, our greatest fears don’t really happen. It’s our misconceptions that amplify them, something which we can challenge by focusing on the facts on hand. When struggling with fear, take time to ask yourself this: is it valid? Is it grounded on facts? Is it under my control? And what piece of factual information can debunk it? Know that fears only exist for as long as you subscribe to them so never lose the chance to question their validity and impact.
4. The lack of support from others
Your dreams and aspirations were never dependent on the support or approval of others. So why let the lack of support of others stop you from becoming your own #bestmeever ? A sad reality though is that sometimes, the people you expect to be there for you are no where to be found when the going gets tough or when your dreams get bigger. Know that it’s ok. By being your own greatest fan and committing 100% to your self and your growth, you are able to harness from within everything that you can ever need to pursue your goals. And know that along the way, you will meet people who are in alignment with your vision for yourself, who will be more than willing to extend their genuine support.
5. The responsibilities you have
While prioritizing your responsibilities for others like your friends, family, your work, school or whatever else demands your time, resources and attention, please know that you are just as deserving to give yourself all those. You are worthy of your dreams and fulfilling them is a matter of choice. You can always find time to pursue them, no matter how busy you are if you’re really 100% committed to making them come true. You can never be too busy for what truly matters to you, yourself included. Never set aside your own dreams and wants because with the right time management and making yourself a priority too, you can achieve all those in harmony with your other responsibilities.
Your dreams are waiting for you.
Take this as your sign to make that first step towards them.
Because much like everyone else, you deserve to make them come true.
You still have time. Go for it.
It was a happy 70th birthday indeed.
Not for me but for my mom.
I mean, it wasn’t originally how I wanted it to be but since a bunch of things happened in between, we found ourselves celebrating my mom’s milestone in Bangkok, Thailand — a quick escape I didn’t know I needed.
Because that unplanned time off not only allowed me to bond with my family, but also reflect and recalibrate in between, while broadcasting remotely and attending my PHD class virtually on the side . Whew. But all worth it.
Looking at how happy my mom was daily at her age was eye opening for me.
I mean before, when I was younger, I used to be terrified about the mere thought of aging.
But now at 44 and seeing my mom at 70, it made me realize that life can just be as good, maybe even better as we age.
And yes, aging isn’t exactly the time to sulk and worry. You deserve so much more even if your skin turns wrinkly and your hair, gray.
So not true. To be candid about it, you can be in your teens or twenties and feel you’re dying inside. Or you can be in your 70s or 80s and feel that life has just begun. It’s really up to you how to make the years count. Never let your age determine the level of happiness you’re allowed to have. And no, for as long as you take good care of yourself, find joy in yourself and the simplest things and not let your what could have beens distract you from the beauty of the now, you’re not dying– you’re living fully, no matter how old you are.
2. As you age, you lose your significance
Your worth as a person was never based on your age or your ability to cope with current trends. It’s based on the person that you have chosen to become through the years, your ability to weather through storms and inspire others to do the same as you live your purpose and journey towards your own #bestmeever . Don’t let the years gone by make you forget how amazing you are in the eyes of others, and hopefully, in your own, too.
3. It’s too late to start all over again
“I’m too old for that.”
“It’s too late for me.”
“I wish I had done it when I was younger.”
Now, if you catch yourself saying any of these, please do me a favor and stop. You don’t deserve to deprive yourself of the opportunity to grow, regardless of your age.For as long as you’re alive and you are truly committed to your goals and purpose, you can start all over again, as you are.
You, finally deciding to own your life, will always make you on time.
4. You will be consumed by regrets as you age
It’s not aging which makes you have regrets in the long run — it’s your decision making through years that have led you to feel that way simply because you weren’t at peace with your own results. The key here is to revisit your life and see it from a grateful lens. Everything happens for a reason. When you embrace that and focus on what’s under your influence and control, life goes on, and so can you, no matter what your age may be.
5. Age is but a number
It’s not. It’s a beautiful reminder of how many years you have existed in this life time. It’s a collection of beautiful memories you have made and milestones you have achieved. Not everyone gets to celebrate as many birthdays as you do. So the next time you celebrate yours, don’t be afraid or anxious. Instead, see it as an achievement: that you’ve made it this far, that you have new chances and opportunities ahead, and you’re still on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
I hope that after reading this blog, you get to appreciate yourself and your age better.
Time to celebrate yourself.
Fact: Life isn’t always perfect.
And things don’t always happen as planned.
Yup, it’s not always a walk in the park.
Nor one with non-stop celebrations.
Life can get difficult. Messy. And sometimes too much to take.
But it doesn’t mean you should give up because of that.
You should always remember that no matter what happens, your goals and dreams will always be worth it.
Don’t let hard times make you forget how deserving you are to become your own #bestmeever .
Allow yourself to struggle. To learn. And grow through each and every hurdle you face so that you can become the person you’re meant to be.
The hardships are not there to just punish you — they are there to mold you and help you embrace the valuable lessons you need moving forward.
And know that hard times don’t last forever.
The key here is to always seek for your own inspiration to keep you going as you never lose sight of hope.
Oftentimes, hard times make us forget how far we have gone and how much we have achieved in the past. Know that if you are struggling at present, that does not invalidate the fact that you have made it through even tougher times before. What is important now as you go through rough days is to remember what worked for you before and how you can apply them in your current space. Give yourself more credit. You are tougher than you think.
2. Count your blessings
No matter what you’re going through now, the mere fact that you’re reading this, you’re still blessed. Stop focusing on your struggles and start focusing on the things that are reminding you that life is good. Your family. Friends. Your house. Time for yourself. Your passion project. The career you want. Your pet’s unconditional love. The beautiful flowers and trees surrounding you. And so much more. You just have to open your eyes and heart to the fact that outside of your struggles, life goes on beautifully. And so can you.
3. Focus on what’s under your control
Here’s a beautiful insight: you only stress out more when you try to control everything, even those beyond your space of power and influence. How many times have you spent countless hours complaining about your situation without being able to change the results, just because it’s beyond your control? If you can relate to this, then this is your sign to divert your attention to what’s under yours: like your response to stress stimulus for instance. Or planning your next move. Or actually choosing to start all over again. Being able to gain control over little things in your space can inspire you to keep going no matter how tough times may be.
4. Seek support
In case you’ve forgotten: you are not alone in your struggles. Everyone else goes through difficult days, sometimes, even tougher than yours. So don’t ever feel that you are alone in your journey and that no one can understand what you’re going through. The beauty of less than beautiful days is that they reveal who you deserve to share spaces with and those who are just there for the meantime. Take time to know who are willing to extend a helping hand from your immediate circle and outside of it. This might come in as a beautiful surprise.
5. Start small, celebrate big
Don’t force yourself to bounce back immediately as if nothing happened. It is very important to allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt and to reflect and recalibrate there after. Allow yourself to start small: waking up. Doing one simple task. Pampering yourself. Things which you may have forgotten because life got too complicated. Celebrate the little milestones you achieved along the way. They matter more in the long run, as you keep going through your journey towards your own recovery from whatever it is that initially broke you. Yes, surviving another day is an achievement by itself. Remember that always.
Take this to heart: hope has always been inside of you.
You just have to inquire within, recognize it and never let hard times distract you.
May you recognize the hope you’ve always been carrying.
And the one that you give others just by existing.
Fact: Giving yourself what is due is one of the greatest forms of self-love.
And that includes the respect, consideration and compassion you willingly give to others.
Ok, I know some of you may raise eyebrows because you’ve gotten used to putting yourself and your needs and wants last, thinking that others will always be more important than you.
Maybe because of how you were raised before.
Or how others judged you when you focused on yourself back then.
Or how the society romanticizes personal sacrifice.
Whatever your reason may be, please take note that you don’t have to embrace them.
Take this to heart: you are very much deserving of the best things in life, as much as everyone else, regardless of what you’ve been through or going through at the moment.
And you don’t deserve to be treated less of a person ever because your value does not depend on anything or anyone else but you.
You call the shots. You know your worth. You know what’s best for you.
Your life might not be perfect now and you might be struggling but hey, you are still amazing in your own way.
You, reading this now, have made it this far.
Celebrate yourself and your progress.
By doing so, you won’t allow yourself to just settle for anything less.
No, you are not a spare tire. You deserve to be chosen first, to be the only choice, most especially when it comes to romantic relationships. You are not meant for meantime flings or when it’s convenient or if a specific need which you can fulfill, arises. You are meant to be honored and loved for who and what you are in your current space and state, and be made a priority.
2. You don’t deserve to put your needs and wants last
You matter as much as everyone else. And you can’t really give what you don’t have. So it’s best and very much ok to fill your own cup first so you can come from a space of overflow. Be kind enough to yourself and acknowledge all the things that matter to you. You are worthy of all those and more. Stop basing your worth on how much you can sacrifice for others because that’s not exactly the case. You weren’t born to always just give way and suffer anyway.
3. You don’t deserve to hold yourself back
You are worth every risk you wish to take. Be brave enough to face your greatest fears and give yourself that fighting chance to go out of your comfort zone and conquer the unknown. Don’t let your self-doubts and opinion of others stop you from becoming the person you’re meant to be. You only have this one chance to make a lasting impact in this lifetime so give yourself just that.
4. You don’t deserve to treat yourself unkindly
Beating yourself up and continuously criticizing yourself won’t allow you to grow in the process. Your negative words can cause you to spiral down and make you doubt yourself even more. Be willing to embrace your own limitations and work around them coming from a space of understanding, humility and love. Shower yourself with affirmations and be your own greatest fan. Even if things are not working out around you and others are not showing their support, you can still choose to motivate and validate yourself as you keep going and growing, no matter what.
5. You don’t deserve to give up on life
Life may be tough but you’re definitely tougher. All of your experiences have strengthened you to reach this point of your life. Never discount your progress and your ability to turn your life around. Know that struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing – it actually means you are trying your best to adapt to the situation on hand and rise above it there after. Take this time to look back and appreciate the numerous times you never thought you will survive but you did. This is just one of those. So keep the faith and hang on. Don’t give up on life, instead, give it all you got.
Being worthy of the best things in life is not based on achievements or status.
It’s based on your own perception and how much you truly love yourself.
Don’t let the ridiculous standards of others make you forget that reality.
At the end of the day, you still deserve to become your own #bestmeever , no matter what.
Be your own greatest fan.
That’s not being narcissistic. That’s self-love.
Please. Don’t ever limit yourself when it comes to giving yourself what is due:
Unconditional love. Understanding. Compassion. Kindness. Appreciation.
The question is: when was the last time you did just that?
Ok, if it’s been a while, know that you aren’t exactly alone.
You see sometimes, when life gets hard, we forget how important it is to give ourselves the kind of consideration and love we willingly give to others who matter to us.
However, know that no matter what you’ve been through or going through at the moment, those really don’t determine your worthiness or define your value.
You know what’s best for you…so give yourself just that.
This line encapsulates it fully:
It’s ok to consider your own needs and wants too.
Because you matter just as much as everyone else.
Given that, it’s very important to stop treating yourself unfairly so that you get to grow in harmony with your own #bestmeever .
Heres the thing: you weren’t born to just to baby sit for everyone else around. You weren’t born just to work your ass off to pay the bills. You deserve to have time for yourself and spend it no matter how you want to, guilt-free. You don’t need to explain to others why you took that long vacation or when you decided to spend the weekend reading books in your bedroom. You have the right. And you deserve it.
2. Minimizing your own progress
Give credit to where it is due — to yourself, included. Reflect quickly: when was the last time you honored your progress? Don’t ever attach your happiness and fulfillment to the achievement of your end goal. You don’t have to postpone your appreciation for yourself until then. You can do it here and now, simply because if you looked back, you would realize how far you’ve gone. Remember: choosing to start a new journey is an achievement by itself. Continue celebrating yourself to stay inspired along the way.
3. Choosing to always play it safe
You’ve heard it time and again: growth is outside your comfort zone. That essentially means that you should be willing to take risks in order for you to be the person that you want to be. Holding back won’t get you anywhere in this life time. Give yourself that fighting chance to go for what you truly want: whether it’s all about starting a new career, learning a new skill in a new environment or speaking up and allowing yourself to take up space as you are. It may be really uncomfortable at first but the rewards are life changing.
4. Settling in unhappy, stagnant relationships
Life is too short to stay in any relationship that does not help you grow or make you happy. If you find yourself trying to justify the toxic relationship you have just because you’ve been in it for a long time, then this is your sign to reflect and realize that by staying, you aren’t exactly changing it. You could have done that a long time ago, but haven’t. There I said it. Maybe now it’s time for you to be honest with yourself and give yourself what you deserve: the chance to communicate openly with the person you’re in a relationship with and discuss how both of you would want to move forward, based on what will work best for your relationship and yourselves too. Sweeping issues under the rug don’t necessarily resolve them, you know.
5. Invalidating your emotions
Don’t be scared to be honest about how you feel. It’s the only way you can process them fully. Do away with shame or self-judgment. You deserve to let yourself be and feel what must be felt so that you can discover the lessons each one is telling you. Know that every emotion, good or bad, helps you understand yourself on a deeper level, only if you let them unfold fully without any form of resistance. It’s ok to feel the way you do. How you deal with it moving forward given that, matters more.
Let me leave you with this thought for reflection:
Treating yourself fairly is never optional nor dependent on any other person, timing or situation.
It’s a personal choice to be made consistently and genuinely, every single day. every single way.
Hope you commit to making that choice for yourself whole heartedly.
You are as good as how you keep your word.
At the end of the day, how you keep your promises determine your credibility and integrity, two things which you don’t ever want to compromise, no matter what.
Through the years, I have seen countless of relationships break, careers shatter and people spiral down because of their inability to honor their commitments.
The question is: why is that the case?
Well, let’s do a check in now.
In your case, what makes it difficult for you to honor your word?
Is it the overwhelming pressure around you?
The lack of priority?
Over promising but under delivering?
Whatever your reason may be at the moment, please know that no amount of excuses can save your reputation once it’s tainted.
So let’s not even go there.
Heightened emotions can cause you to make promises impulsively. This applies to both positive and negative ones. There is so much truth in not making promises when you’re overly happy, sad, angry or scared because one way or another, in the long run, you’ll regret making them. So make sure that before giving your word, you are coming from a very stable space and you are not driven by any form of extreme emotion that may blur your sense of judgment and commitment so to speak. Key reflection: how do I feel now as I make this promise?
2. Check on the feasibility of your promise
Over promising is one of the most common causes of not being able to keep one’s word. Remember: the goal is not just to please the other party at the onset of your discussion. The goal is to be able to deliver accordingly and exceed expectations. In order to do this, you must become very mindful of all the details, big and small, including timelines, deliverables and other matters of accountability so you don’t find yourself in an awkward position in the long run. Think about this: what bases must I cover to make all these things possible?
3. Align everything fully with the other party
I always emphasize the importance of putting everything in black and white so that both parties have something to look back at when caught in a crossroad. Please don’t ever find offense when someone tells you to put everything into writing — that’s actually the most professional thing to do and it safe guards both parties. Remember, if the intentions and all other pertinent details are clear, then you have nothing to fear. Always voice out your concerns and suggestions even before you shake hands so that they may be addressed accordingly ahead of time before they become issues in the long run. Something to ask yourself: What needs to be fully clear between us so we can move forward seamlessly with this agreement?
4. Communicate clearly and regularly
Whatever happens, always find time to update the person you’ve committed to. Never just disappear when times are harder than usual. You owe it to the other party no matter what. Be brave enough to have difficult conversations and be prepared to have solutions when unforeseen delays or changes in plans occur. Don’t ever leave the other person hanging as it speaks about your ability to maintain the integrity of your words and actions and ability to honor your relationships when hurdles are encountered along the way. Best if you can do quick check ins once in a while and take time to assure the other party about the progress of your agreements. That helps manage the anxiety and stress brought about by not knowing what has transpired along the way. Reflect: what needs to be communicated accordingly to avoid any future misunderstanding?
5. Prioritize your promises
It’s not just lip service; your promises can make or break you, depending on how you deal with them. Give them utmost importance. Always ensure that you do your best always as you give your all to fulfill them accordingly. Prioritizing involves finding ways, means and time to deliver what is due, by doing at least one thing per day that will allow you to do just that. Park your promises when you’ve fulfilled them. Until then, make sure they’re always in sight by doing away with what does not serve you at the moment. Check this out: what must I let go of as I make my commitment my focus now?
Remember this: to be able to keep your word to others, you must first learn to honor your commitment to yourself.
To keep your core values, integrity and credibility in tact, always in all ways.
And that means giving yourself what is due, no matter what that may be at the moment, as you journey towards becoming your own #bestmeever .
It starts with you.
Fact: You always choose to prioritize what truly matters to you.
Also a fact: sometimes we get distracted and we totally mess up our priorities.
I know, the irony of it all.
Don’t be disheartened though. You are not alone to begin with.
Admittedly, even I struggled with my priorities initially when things got more challenging than usual.
However, as I aged and gained more and more experience, I realized that choosing what to prioritize became easier.
Maybe because through the years, I have learned to recognize and accept what really are in alignment with my core values and those which are not.
That totally made the process of elimination way easier.
However, I am not telling you to hold off setting your priorities until you reach my age (I just turned 44 last August 12).
I am telling you that by choice, you can see beyond the distractions and focus on what truly matters most in the long run.
Take this time to quickly reflect:
What overwhelms you at the moment?
What is making you focus on them?
What do you think can you do otherwise to resolve them instead?
By recognizing and understanding what distracts you, you are able to deal with them better and allow you to navigate through your own journey with the greatest of ease minus the excess baggage.
Allow me to share with you the 5 things I have chosen to prioritize upon decluttering my thoughts and my space, something which you can do now as well in yours.
Here’s the thing: nothing else will matter and nothing can prosper if you don’t take care of yourself. You are just as important as everyone else around you. Never put your own needs and wants last. Always take time to practice self-care, no matter how busy or challenging life gets. It won’t take much to have a break, pamper yourself, go for a walk or do what you love in between your hectic schedules. Don’t ever feel guilty for giving yourself what is due: that is the love and care you willingly give to others along the way.
Life is too short to spend it unhappily doing things you don’t like, being with people who don’t inspire you to be your best or staying in a place or situation which does not spark joy or growth. You don’t have to ask for anyone else’s approval before you finally choose to go for what truly makes your heart skip a beat. For as long as you are willing and able to take responsibility for yourself and your happiness, by all means give it a go. You are worthy of that smile on your face and in your heart.
3. Self-Improvement
You are never too young or too old to learn a new skill, work on yourself and be the person you’re meant to be. Stop giving yourself excuses and start giving yourself new found inspiration to take that first step to upskill or get to know yourself on a deeper level. Unlocking your potential was never based on a singular time frame. All you have to do is make that choice now, and fully commit to it no matter what.
4. Nurturing quality relationships
I always say: it’s ok to outgrow people and relationships. Not everyone has to play a part in your next chapter. Not because you’re evil or they’ve turned bad, but simply because you no longer on the same page. Some people are not meant to stay in your life in the long run and that’s ok. What matters is you learn from them the valuable lessons you need moving forward. This was one of my key reflections during my two-week birthday hiatus: I truly feel grateful with who I have left in my space as the ones who left have made room for new people of true value to occupy. Everything happens for a reason so it’s very important to surround yourself with the right people.
5. Savings For The Future
I know at times we tend to live in the moment and spend like there’s tomorrow. However, please take note that it’s never too early or too late to actually prepare for your future too. Go get that insurance fund, open that savings account, buy properties that appreciate in value, invest wisely…do what you must so that you grow your earnings even through the rainy days. It’s not about fully depriving yourself along the way; it’s about proper allocation and understanding of the real value of saving for the kind of future you want for yourself and your loved ones.
I guess my birthday leave did do wonders for me as I got to sit down and blog about my realizations in terms of my priorities.
Hopefully this blog helps you to manage yours, way before your next birthday comes along.
Yup, your time is now.
Here’s the thing: you can’t really succeed in life without integrity.
There, I said it.
The truth will always come out.
And who you are behind close doors also matters a lot.
The question is: what kind of person are you when no one is watching?
Take this time to reflect: how do you uphold your values?
What do you do when the going gets tough?
How do you manage to stick to what is right?
These are just some of the reflections to think about as you truly embrace what it really means to choose integrity over personal interests.
And admittedly, it’s quite difficult at times.
I mean, who doesn’t want the easy way out?
However, please take to heart: easy doesn’t always mean it’s right.
So know that even if you struggle as you keep your values intact and do what is right and just, know that in the end, it’ll all be worth it.
Because having integrity not only makes you feel good about yourself, it can also open bigger doors for you in the long run as you walk the talk, no matter what.
I know. Change is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean you have to change directions daily. You can’t just be everything that everyone wants you to be. And that’s perfectly fine. What is key here is to always be consistent on how you show up every single day. What do you stand for? What’s your key message to the world? How do you want the rest of the world to experience and remember you? Always have that clear picture in mind of what you truly are and never let yourself be distracted by all the noise around you. Keep going even when times seem harder than usual. That’s when you grow more.
2. Inability to keep promises
You are as good as your word. Don’t ever make promises that you can’t keep. A lot of relationships, whether externally or the one you have with yourself, have gone sour just because commitments were not honored accordingly. Remember: with every promise that you make, your integrity and reputation are at stake. And once tainted, it’s much harder to rebuild. So never compromise.
3. Bad mouthing your competition
Security is an important factor when it comes to integrity. When you know yourself inside and out and are happily confident about what you are and what you’re not, you don’t need to put others down just to lift yourself up. Instead, you treat your competition as inspiration, learning from them along the way as you share spaces comfortably. There is something for everyone for as long as we all choose to do what is right even when not under the spotlight.
4. No clear stand on issues
Never run away from what you truly believe in. Take a stand. Speak up. Your bravery can inspire others when hard times overwhelm them. Come from your core values: what truly matters to you? What can you do to uphold them, as you consciously practice respect too? Don’t let your fear of being judged or cancelled stop you from being the person of integrity that you are.
5. Choosing to surround yourself with the wrong people
You have a choice on who to share spaces with. Be very mindful of this. Remember, you become the 5 people you frequently interact with. So make sure you don’t compromise your integrity by hanging out with people who are not in alignment with your core values, aspirations and goals. It doesn’t make you a bad person for choosing what (and who is) best for you. Like I always say: if it doesn’t inspire you or help you grow, let go. Applies to things, situations and people in this lifetime.
I hope now you have a clearer picture of how you can maintain your own integrity during trying times.
Because a person of integrity is considered a rare, priceless find.
Be that.
Always. In all ways.
Redirection, not rejection.
How many times have you heard that?
But it’s quite true.
Good or bad, everything has a purpose.
And that includes situations which at a glance, seem like failure, a mistake, missed opportunity or something very regretful.
However, in the long run, that fateful curve ball proved to be a blessing in disguise.
Take this time to reflect:
When was the last time you got rejected?
How did things turn out eventually?
I know. At the onset of any rejection, pain is inevitable.
However, once we get to embrace it and intentionally try to understand the purpose behind it, we begin to discover silver linings we never thought initially existed.
And yes, you can always start all over again, this time not from scratch but from rich, meaningful experience.
Know that in this lifetime, you will experience a number of rejections that will actually re-direct you towards the right path as you become the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
Here are 5 times rejection can turn to redirection:
I am sure that when you were younger, a lot of times you have heard your mom and dad say “NO” so sternly when you were asking for something, may it be a toy, a sleep over at a friend’s house or an increase on your allowance. And back then, it felt that it was coming from a space of being too mean and unreasonable and that it was meant to punish you for things you don’t even know you whether you were guilty of or not. But here’s the tea: it wasn’t all those you assumed. Their “NO”s back then were meant to protect you and teach you the value of what truly matters most as you grow up: taking responsibility, making the most of what you have while working hard for what you want. I began to realize all those as I aged and help raise my nephews and nieces. However, what I am doing differently now is that I talk to them in a level they could understand and not use my age or the tone of my voice as the source of my authority. Remember: a NO coming from a loving space will always be embraced fully with the least or no resistance.
2. When you didn’t fit in during your time in school
During our younger years, we tend to prioritize belongingness over our own self-worth and happiness. I mean seriously, how many times have you tried fitting in back then that led you to compromise your own beliefs and values? However, as we grow older, we realize that being rejected then, just because maybe you were seen to be different, or you had different sets of views and opinions, did not make you less deserving to take up space as you are. Looking at it now, being able to uphold your own amidst a sea of people who just conform to fit in is an achievement by itself. It was teaching you about your own value and how you can inspire others to embrace themselves whole and love themselves fully, no matter how others may respond to them. Belongingness starts from within. It’s all about being one with yourself, no matter what.
3. When your heart got broken by someone
I always believe that somewhere out there, someone is more than willing to love you the way you want him/her to. You don’t need to force yourself on anyone or shrink yourself to fit the limitations of your current relationship just to make it work. Don’t let one heart break stop you from finding (and being) the love you deserve. You will always end up with someone better after learning how you can love yourself more from your last heart break. Yep, it’s leading you to your biggest breakthrough yet.
4. When you did not get accepted for a job you applied for
There will always be a point in our lives where in we set our sights too much on that single job that we thought will change our career trajectory completely only to end up disappointed by not landing on it. However, we forget the important lessons the rejection is teaching us: that there is still room for improvement, that there’s something better in store for us and that we need to be willing enough and humble enough to work on ourselves as we pivot. And those very lessons, once embraced fully, will take us to places we never imagined. Remember: you may not have gotten the job you initially wanted, but that never means you’re not qualified to end up where you truly deserve. Trust the process. Take it from someone who has experienced so many rejections before finding and living my life’s purpose daily. And it was one hell of a ride, but definitely worth it. At times I just find myself uttering “Oh, that’s why…” and can’t help but smile in the process.
5. When you said “NO” to yourself
You know what’s best for you. So if you’re coming from that space, for as long as you’re willing to take responsibility, saying “NO” to yourself becomes an empowering experience instead. Most especially during times you are tempted to compromise your values and wellbeing, being firm with your decision may feel too harsh at first since you’re doing it to yourself. But hey, look at the bigger picture and realize how important having discipline is over temporary convenience or pleasure. You can postpone that travel. You can quit that job. You can stop chasing that person. You know when you’ll be ready. You know when you’re able to forgive. You know your own metrics of success. You know what makes you happy. Never feel the need that you’re depriving yourself by respecting your own timelines and values despite the pressure coming from others. And if people reject you because of that, it’s on them, not you. Because every NO you say coming from a space of self-awareness and love, is a YES towards your own growth.
I always believe that everything that is meant for you will always find its way and flourish no matter what.
Keep that in mind and keep that close to your heart.
Whatever space you’re in now, you’re still on your way to becoming your own #bestmeever .
Growth is a matter of choice.
And that’s a fact.
It’s all about making the most of each and every experience that you have and turning them into stepping stones to help you reach your biggest goals.
Though quite challenging at times, especially when life throws you a curve ball and knocks you off track.
However, what I have realized based on actual experience, is that stressing over things beyond my control or complaining over not so good results, won’t really change a thing.
Both bring my own growth to a stand still.
Take this time to quickly reflect:
What did you stress about recently?
How do you think that hindered your growth?
Was it about a missed opportunity?
A personal argument?
Hey, before we even continue because this list can go on for sure, please allow yourself to breathe.
It’s ok. It’s not the end of the world.
And you reading this is a testament of just that.
You still have a chance to make things right and grow in the process.
It’s not just about going with the flow at all times. You also have to be very much aware and clear of where you want to go, what you want to achieve and how you intend to make things happen for you. Don’t ever view planning as a waste of time. It’s always best that you come prepared so regardless of the results you may have there after, at least you gave yourself a fighting chance. Take pictures. List them down. Draw charts. Brainstorm with others. Do what works for you in order for you to fully visually and embrace your journey towards growth. Remember though: all these will only work if you stay committed to yourself and your goals, no matter what happens.
2. Listen intentionally without judgments.
Truth be told, you actually learn a lot when you listen. Be humble enough to accept the fact that you don’t know everything and that everyone you meet has an important message to share to you. Do away with your biases and come from a space of openness as you listen for what you need to hear, and not be drowned by what you want for validation. Shameless plug: check out my newly launched #BestMeEver Podcast for things you need to hear in order for you to reflect and recalibrate fully and become your own #bestmeever .
3. Ask questions. Even uncomfortable ones if relevant.
The only way you will know is when you ask. Never hold back when asking questions. For as long as your intentions are clear and you ask them respectfully, it’s ok. My profession as a coach entails me to ask questions that may trigger others but that’s part of my job: to bring awareness and understanding of one’s space through powerful questions. Who knows? The growth you may be looking for is just an answer away.
4. Explore more.
Don’t be afraid to take risks. Outside of your comfort zone is where true growth lies. Be curious. Be brave. Allow your beautiful child-like curiosity to come to surface. You will be surprised as to what awaits you on the other side of the fence. And yes, at times, the grass is greener there, with tall, vibrant trees to match.
5. Surround yourself with people who inspire you.
You become the 5 people you spend most of your time with so make sure you choose the best ones for you. Cut off any toxic relationship and focus on nurturing ones that genuinely support your growth and challenges you to become better in the process. Seek a mentor among your inner circle and learn openly from each and everyone you choose to surround yourself with. At the end of the day though, make sure that you guys are all in alignment as to what you want to achieve and how you can help each other do just that.
The journey towards growth is never easy but will always be worth it.
One step at a time. One day at a time.
And you will always be, regardless of how big or small your progress is, more than enough.
