Not now does not mean never.
Take that to heart.

Seriously.

Often times we see delays as something that’s detrimental to our growth.

However, that’s not exactly the case.

You see, it’s the society , the people around us and even ourselves to be candid about it, that made us believe that we should always be on the go.

That every single day was all about taking a step forward, no matter how you feel, no matter how you are.

While at a glance, that can be such an empowering statement, let’s do a reality check.

At times, a step forward can actually mean just staying where you are or even taking a step back.

Indeed, pausing can do wonders for you so that you get to see the bigger picture and not be too anxious or worried along the way so you can continue on being your own #bestmeever even during the toughest days.

Allow me to share with you when it’s time to pause:

1.) When you’re tired

You are not a robot. Remember that. You were not born to just work to pay the bills. You do not exist just to be of great help to others. Burn out is real. Don’t even go there. Pause. Take a break. Rest. You need to recharge and recalibrate. You owe that to yourself. You can only do so much. And don’ t ever feel guilty for allowing yourself to stop and smell the flowers.

2.) When you’re feeling lost and confused

In this situation, a step forward may not be such at all, especially if you are coming from an overwhelmed space. Pause. Take a step back. Breathe. Check on the facts. Do some grounding to stabilize your emotions and give your logic some clarity. Important reminder: don’t risk moving forward if you’re not yet 100% committed. It’s either you’re all in, or not at all.

3.) When you’re happy

Savor the feeling. Pause and just express your gratitude. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and lock them in so that you will have something to remind you when days are gloomy. Take time off your routine to thank all those who have contributed to your happiness. That goes a long way and allows you to move forward eventually with a smile in your heart.

4.) When you’re angry

Trust me, you don’t want to regret anything that you’ve said and done coming from a space of anger. Heightened emotions oftentimes make you do things that are not necessarily aligned with your core values which can in turn just worsen the situation you are in. Pause. Take deep breaths. Calm yourself. Detach yourself from the situation. Reflect. And give yourself some time. You don’t need to resolve everything all at once. Come back when you’re ready. The impact will be different then.

5.) When making a big decision

Don’t act based on impulse. A life changing decision, whether it’s all about making a very big purchase, entering a relationship or ending one, or changing careers or moving out, takes time to process. Allow yourself to pause and reflect. You don’t need to rush things. Allow things to take their natural course and just go (and grow) with the flow. Consider all options first, list down the pros and cons, sleep over them and assess yourself when you’re ready to make that big decision for yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone pressure you to making a decision you’re not fully sold to.

I hope you remember when to pause this time around.

So if you’re still reading this, take it as your sign.

Remember:

Pausing can be productive.
You just have to trust yourself and the process more.

Fact: Not yet does not mean never.

Things will happen when it’s time.

So why do we stress over delays too much?

Why do we let ourselves suffer in the process of waiting for the best that’s yet to come?

Why do we always equate delays with something that can hold us back from achieving our dreams.

Truth be told though, delays can be blessings in disguise.

We just have to look beyond what’s not yet happening as of the moment.

And see the beauty that lies behind it.

Sounds easier said than done right?

I feel you. I know how agonizing it is to wait endlessly for that once in a life time opportunity, that trip you planned for so long, that promotion you’ve always wanted, the love of your life, among others.

Simply because we always want to be in control of our lives.

And even on things that are well beyond our sphere of influence.

So if you’re having a hard time appreciating the seemingly long waiting time to make things happen for you, allow me to share with you the 5 ways you can deal with delays:

1. Accept delays openly

Don’t ever deny the presence of delays in your life. Remember, you can’t control everything. Resisting it and seeing delays as something detrimental to your growth will only add up to more stress that you have. So learn to be comfortable with it and know that everything happens for a reason. Believe in the concept of perfect timing.

2. Consider it as a learning experience

I always say, good or bad, any experience can teach you valuable lessons you need to thrive in your life there after. Be intentional in seeking what you need to know so that you can eventually become the person you’re meant to be. Consider these questions: what is making me impatient? What fears do I have? What can I do differently to improve the waiting time? Continue to discover those beautiful answers that you need in your current space.

3. Maximize the waiting time

While delays can sometimes be inevitable, you can always choose to make your waiting time more bearable. Instead of focusing on what’s not yet happening, allow yourself to explore on what else you can do so that you can remain happily productive as you wait. Do another pending assignment, catch on that Netflix series you missed, bond with family and friends…life goes on even if some aspects of it may have been paused as of the moment.

4. Stop overthinking

Like seriously. Formulating 101 negative narratives won’t speed up the process. Delays happen. That’s it. You don’t have to create justifications based on assumptions that won’t help at present. Remember, the goal is for you to be able to navigate through delays beautifully, not find faults.

5. Visualize desired outcome

If you spend the same amount of time and energy you used in ranting about delays and everything else that went wrong with it , in visualizing the ideal results you want, you are able to save yourself from the unnecessary stress. Negative thoughts won’t give you positive results, so might as well become intentional in focusing on your desired outcome to ensure that you are in a healthy space.

So there. I hope these tips help you deal with delays better.

Always remember, good things take time.

So take the time as you wait, to be good to yourself too.