You can’t have it all.
Otherwise, you’ll be perfect. And that’s not possible.
Because nobody is.
And yes, that’s pretty much ok.
Hey, don’t get me wrong: you can always aspire for more.
No one is stopping you from dreaming bigger or achieving more.
You deserve that.
What I am trying to say is that it’s ok if you don’t get exactly what you want.
May it be winning in a competition.
The promotion you worked hard for.
The trip that got cancelled.
The person you were pursuing.
The relationship that you lost.
And whatever else that may have cause you pain and suffering.
Take this time to assess: what is it that’s burdening you as of the moment? How are you dealing with it?
Whatever it may be, no matter how heavy it may seem, please do me a favor: promise me you’ll be kinder to yourself.
Promise me that you will stop blaming yourself for what happened.
That you will stop thinking of yourself negatively.
That you won’t give up on yourself.
Do it not only for me, but for youself because you are worthy of second chances amidst all the craziness surrounding you.
A second, third, fourth or no matter how many it takes.
Your imperfections don’t make you insignificant.
It does not make you less of a person.
It makes you human.
And they humble you in the process of maximizing what you have so you can become what you’re meant to be.
It’s all about learning from your imperfections and the things that have gone wrong while working around them using the lessons you now have.
Never attach your happiness to things, people or situations that you feel will make your life perfect.
Your happiness is here and now. Within you, and whom you choose to be.
It does not come when things are perfect.
It comes when you are ready to embrace your reality and take up space as you are, no matter how imperfect the situation may seem.
Look around you. What do you need to be more mindful about? What can you appreciate more?
Look within you. What needs to change? How can you make that happen?
You are a work in progress. So are we. And that’s ok.
You may not have it all. And that’s fine.
Because all it takes is genuine appreciation for what you have and who you’re becoming as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
Keep going. Keep growing.
In your own special, imperfect way.
Being brave can take you further in life.
So true, don’t you think?
Think about this: how many times have your fears stopped you from becoming your own #bestmeever ?
Hey, don’t start beating yourself up now because that isn’t exactly the solution to overcome whatever hurdles you may have now.
Remember: loving yourself is actually your own responsibility. So never forget to give yourself what is due: kindness, understanding and the chance to maximize all the opportunities given to you by being brave enough to go for them while feeling worthy all through out.
I know: easier said than done. Most especially if you feel that the world has collapsed underneath you and everything around you just looks and feels uncertain. Not exactly ideal for anyone, if I may say.
However, if you’re truly committed to yourself, your happiness and your growth, know that you can summon that inner courage you thought you never had. Yup, it has always been there; you just have to inquire within and let your inspiration draw it out as you re-write your own story once more.
Here’s the thing: change is inevitable and very much beautiful. You just have to trust yourself and the process more to be able to really see the purpose behind each one unfold. Resisting change actually makes you feel stuck and blurs your own vision of growth and happiness. Think about this: what if the seemingly uncomfortable changes you’re undergoing now is actually preparing you for greater things ahead? Patience my dear; everything will eventually fall into place.
2. Failures
Nobody’s perfect. So why even pressure yourself too much to be just that? Let yourself be. Do what you can with all that you have and with the clearest intentions on hand. That will always be more than enough. Even if things don’t go as planned and you find yourself at the “losing” end, know that it’s not the end of the world. It’s actually just the beginning for you as you take new lessons to heart and use them accordingly moving forward. Yes, failures can be blessings in disguise too.
3. Growing old
Growing old is a privilege. Not everyone gets to celebrate his/her birthday until his/her hair turns gray. Embrace it. Stop equating it with loss of beauty, significance, health or mobility. Instead, see old age as a sign of growth and wisdom, an inspiration for all those who have yet to embark on the journey you have accomplished. The key here is to ensure that you make the most of each and every moment so that when you look back someday, you won’t have any regrets.
4. Starting all over again
Back to zero. This is what a lot of people dread, most especially during old age where they feel they have so much to lose. Not true though. With nothing else to lose, there’s so much more to gain as you commit to working your way up. To be free to do and be what you want in this lifetime is a priceless experience so never let tenure or the fear of letting go of what you have prevent you from pursuing what you truly want and deserve. It will always be worth it.
5. Embracing your authentic self
As you are, you are very much worthy and deserving to take up space. Never let anything or anyone make you feel otherwise. By being brave enough to show your authentic self to the rest of the world, you inspire others to set themselves free too from their own fear of rejection and judgment. Be the inspiration you were called to be in this lifetime.
I hope you get to reflect accordingly about these so that you can finally tap into that courage within as you live the life you truly want and deserve.
Believe in yourself. You can do it.
I always say this to people who are forcing themselves in certain situations:
Don’t come from obligation. Come from inspiration.
Makes sense right?
I mean who wants to be merely forced to do things just because it’s their duty or that responsibility was bestowed upon them?
Whether it’s about being the eldest in the family to take care of all your siblings or the youngest who is expected to just listen and follow,
To being the breadwinner in the family,
to having a senior (or most junior) position at work where expectations and deliverables vary
among others.
Can you relate?
I guess the bigger question is: how much do you really like what you’re expected to do every single day based on the role you portray?
Let’s be honest. It can be quite hard at times.
Simply because as you try to live up to the expectations of others, you oftentimes put yourself and your needs last simply because you feel that you shouldn’t be a priority because work (or your role) calls.
Imagine the stress, the shame, and other negative emotions that are brought about by the pressure to conform and just deliver.
However, truth be told, forcing yourself won’t do you (or the relationship at stake) any good.
You’ll only end up hating yourself and the space you’re in, in the long run.
So the key here is to come from inspiration, as you fill in each responsibility or duty with new meaning to keep you going.
As you challenge yourself by handling multiple tasks all at the same time, you allow yourself to learn and grow in the process. No matter how uncomfortable the situation may seem at first, by embracing it fully minus any form of resistance, you get to make the most of the journey as you become the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever .
2. Take note of the lives you can change
You are perhaps the ray of hope everyone else around you needed at that time. Be that enabler of change. Know that the seeds you plant today may bring about that much needed growth and change you dreamed not only for others, but for yourself as well. It just had to start with you loving what you do.
3. You allow your relationships to bloom
Never underestimate your impact in the lives of others. By willingly helping out, you help build trust and establish stronger bonds with the people around you. This makes the journey easier when you allow them to support you as well to ensure that everyone is on the same page, with the same goal in mind so you never feel alone as you take the lead.
4. You get to recognize your own value
It could have been anyone else, but it was handed on to you. There’s a reason for everything and God does not give you any challenge that you can’t overcome. It’s been given to you because it’s meant to teach you beautiful lessons you need moving forward. You are the chosen one. You are good enough, worthy enough. Know that someday you will look back and realize why everything had to happen that way. Simply because, they were preparing you to become the person you’re meant to be.
5. You don’t end up having regrets
When you don’t like what you’re doing, you tend to complain left and right, oftentimes missing out on the important moments, milestones and lessons along the way. By loving what you do and being inspired by your own responsibilities, you get to maximize the space you’re in and look beyond desired results as you just focus on enjoying the journey while living fully. Don’t let your obligations stop you from making the most of this lifetime.
I hope after reading this, you have unburdened yourself from the responsibilities you may be carrying.
Use them as a springboard instead that will bring you closer to what you’re meant to be:
an amazing inspiration to everyone else around you.
Life doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be beautiful and worth sharing.
I hope this hits home hard.
Seriously. Having a highly curated life on social media does not exactly equate to enjoying life as is, in general.
But come to think of it: why do people tend to hide the other (note my conscious decision to use that neutral word) of life?
What is it about the less than perfect moments that make us want to hide them?
What misconceptions do you have about your own?
Take this time to reflect:
Which part of your life are you hiding from the rest of the world due to shame?
A failure?
Unguarded moments caught on cam?
Criticisms from others?
What makes you want to bury them into oblivion?
I know that you may have your own reasons for keeping them invisible to the prying eyes of everyone around you but hey, I just want you to know this:
It’s ok to share those less than perfect, less than happy moments with the rest of the world.
It doesn’t make you less of a person each time you talk about what others may be dreading to discuss.
In fact, by doing so, you become a beacon of hope and strength for all those who need to overcome their own shame.
How many times have you heard me say: “Your past should not define you.”? There, I said it again. But hey it’s true. Think about this: you can’t exactly turn back time more so undo what has been done. You can only focus on learning from the experience. That means, whatever you’ve been through before, no matter how tough life was, it’s ok. Show off your battle scars. They are beautiful reminders that you’ve made it this far in this life time, a privilege which not everyone gets to enjoy because they let their past hold them back.
2. Your present
Where you are right now at this point in your life is only temporary. So why be ashamed of it? It’s merely a pitstop; just a tiny spec in your life’s journey ahead. Wouldn’t it be inspiring for others to see how you decided to work on yourself at present to eventually become the person you’re meant to be: your own #bestmeever ? Know that your life at present does not have to be free from flaws to be meaningful and rewarding. What is important to remember here is that you were brave enough to start and committed enough to continue on with your journey.
3. Your relationships
Never hide the people you truly matter to you. Whether it’s a family member, a dear friend or a special someone, be proud of the relationship you have. That shows how much value you put in the relationship by acknowledging it fully. Ok, you don’t have to go overboard about posting sweet pics or writing mushy stuff every now and then; what I am saying is that never deny people in your life, regardless of how others may respond to your admittance. It’s ok though. You are not here to please anyone nor allow anyone to dictate whom you could share spaces with.
4. Your struggles
It’s normal to have ups and downs in life. Take that to heart please. Never be ashamed of your struggles. It’s ok to be vulnerable and admit that you need help. It actually shows how strong you are and how mindfully aware you are of your own needs and wants. At the end of the day, too much pride won’t help resolve your challenges on hand so best if you acknowledge your own difficulties and allow yourself to receive the support you need as you inspire others to be comfortable enough to ask for help too. No man is an island and nobody’s perfect so just stay true and give yourself what is due.
5. Your goals and dreams
No matter how big they may be, you are very much worthy of your own goals and dreams. If you truly want to manifest them to reality, speak with pride about them and feel as if they already came true. Don’t ever minimize them or shrink yourself just to fit in or to avoid being judged by others. It will never be worth each time you shortchange yourself. You have what it takes to succeed and no matter how ambitious you may seem, you have nothing to explain to others who aren’t even part of your dreams.
As you are, you are worthy to take up space, express yourself and live life fully and free.
Never let shame make you feel otherwise.
Time to live brave and proud.
Do you believe in serendipity?
I do.
And you seeing this is no accident.
I have always believed that everything happens for a reason.
Good or bad, each particular event in our lives is meant to shape us moving forward through key realizations and timely lessons.
And for some reasons, as rain pours down heavily outside of my window, I felt compelled to write this blog.
Is it a channeled message? Don’t know.
Is it something which perhaps may be timely and relevant for you? Perhaps.
To dig deeper on that note, take a few minutes to assess your current space.
How’s your journey towards your own #bestmeever ?
Are there patterns in your life you need to recognize?
What is the key message of everything happening around you (and within you)?
Ok, don’t overanalyze. The key here is to embrace things as they are and allow yourself to really feel and understand what you need as of the moment.
1. Where you are now is just the starting point of your journey.
Don’t fret. While your present is teaching you all the lessons you need to thrive moving forward, it may not be exactly embody your final destination. Applies to when you’re having the time of your life or when it seems that you’ve hit your lowest point. Use whatever it is that your current space is teaching you so that you start strong as you embark on that life changing journey towards what you truly want and deserve in this life time. Remember: it’s not about where or who you are at present, but rather, what you choose to become (and do) about it. Yes, the exciting part is yet to happen.
2. You’ve been through worse and survived.
Sometimes we find ourselves in a number of less than pleasant situations that make us forget our very own worth and progress. Never let challenging times overwhelm you and invalidate your growth. Remember how far you’ve gone and honor yourself. I am sure that if you draw inspiration from your past experiences experiences you never thought you would survive but did, you can definitely ace the one you are facing now.
3. You have a choice.
You are not stuck. You are not helpless. Your life isn’t over. While there may be things beyond your control, you always have the choice to see them differently and allow yourself to focus on what you can still do. And whatever you choose for as long as you take responsibility, no matter how others may react towards your choices, know that you are not obliged to explain yourself and justify each one. So choose to stop stressing yourself because for as long as you’re alive, you can change the space you’re in by choice.
4. It’s time.
I don’t know but I felt like writing this. How does this resonate with you? Maybe it’s time to change careers? Pursue a passion you’ve parked? Invest on yourself? Say sorry? Fall in love? Go back home? I think now will always be the perfect time to do whatever it is that is in your heart because no one can really predict what the future holds for everyone of us. As what the famous quote of R’Bonney Gabriel said in her winning answer in Miss Universe then: if not now, then when? Makes a lot of sense to me. And hopefully, to you too.
5. You matter.
You have a beautiful role to play in this life time. Know that in your own little way, someone out there is inspired to push forward because you showed him/her that it’s possible. As you are also, regardless of what you’ve been through or whatever you’re going through as of the moment, know that you are supported and loved and that you are not alone in your journey. Remember: even total strangers have compassionate hearts. So allow yourself to take up space because that is what you deserve.
I know that as random as these thoughts may seem, I hope at least one resonated with you.
Because you reading this is a serendipitous moment leading you towards your own #bestmeever .
Enjoy the journey.
It’s unfortunate at times that we lose people along the way as we journey through life.
Whether we like it or not, certain circumstances prevent us from keeping everyone onboard all through out.
Yep, not everyone can be part of your #bestmeever journey till the end.
And that’s perfectly ok. Know that no matter how short a person’s role in your life may be, he/she has taught you the lessons you needed to know at that point in time.
However, included in the lessons you have to learn as you go through life is the willingness to fight for relationships worth saving.
Now, I want you to take this time and reflect: is there any relationship you wish to save, one that may have been affected before when life was tougher than usual?
A former flame with an unfinished business?
A family member you have strained your ties with?
An old friend you have hurt unintentionally?
And the list goes on.
Well, here’s the thing: sometimes we do things (and say things as well) which we don’t mean just because we are caught in the moment.
However, let it be known that it’s not exactly a free pass so to speak.
While we cannot undo the past, it is important to know that we still have the present moment to work with and allow ourselves to start all over again as we try to win back the people closest to our hearts.
Yup, it’s not yet the ending if it isn’t a happy one. Preach. Haha!
So yeah, you can still win them over. Or at least try.
Remember: if a relationship of whatever kind is worth saving. Go for it. You have nothing else to lose. You only have this lifetime to be happy so might as well do what you must for at the end of the day, at least you tried.
Nope. Not text. Not call. Not email. Not snail mail. Not through a friend or family member. Apologize face to face to the person you have severed ties with and show how genuinely you mean it. You don’t need to put on a show or make it grand; you just have to speak from the heart and really mean what you say. Don’t hide behind the digital space or any other person; be accountable for yourself and your actions and own the apology you are expressing.
2. Respect people’s reactions
While your intentions may be good, you can’t really expect everyone to take it the way you want them to. We all have different responses towards pain and it’s important to respect that and realize that this time around, the ball isn’t exactly on your court. You can’t (and should not) force things, relationships included. What is important here is you expressed your genuine apology and you allow yourself to listen to what the hurting party has to say and just let things be there after, coming from a space of humility and understanding.
3. Initiate the necessary changes
If you want to show your sincerity, don’t wait for the other person to tell you what needs to be done. What is key here is to reflect on what you fought about initially and what could be done differently moving forward. To win back another person, you must be willing to adjust accordingly based on your agreements or if none yet, based on what you think will be best for the relationship while taking into consideration what the other party is complaining about initially. Being pro-active can earn you extra brownie points along the way so whether or not you win the other person back, at least you have shown how much you value the relationship by embracing the changes needed.
4. Seek help from common friends/family you both trust
Bridging the gap. Pun intended haha! Kidding aside, people will respond more positively towards people they trust so if you have common friends or family members they adore fully, seek their help. Show them how much you mean your apology and ask them to help you win back the other person. Ask for tips they may have and work up a plan with them. Be humble enough to listen and accept their initial reaction though, most specially if they become over protective about the other person at first, which is quite normal. Know that eventually knowing that someone else has your back can relieve you of the unnecessary anxiety the waiting game can bring.
5. Be grateful for the impact of the other person on your own growth
I am beyond sure that once you implement the necessary improvements on your life in response to the need to make up for what you’ve done before that left people hurting, others will take notice. Never forget to be vocal and honest about thanking the other party because at the end of the day, whatever beautiful changes you have now in your space is because of the experience you initially had. This also allows the other person feel valued as he/she becomes instrumental to your own growth, and that of your relationship. Appreciation, of whatever form, can go a long way, most especially when it comes to saving relationships and winning people back.
I hope reading this inspires you to take action and win back the relationships you desire.
At the end of the day, nothing is impossible if you’re committed to making things right .
You can win this.
Never say die.
How many times have you heard this in your life time?
Whether someone told you this or you have made this your own mantra, it still serves the same purpose:
To remind you to never give up.
I know, easier said than done.
I mean admittedly, life isn’t exactly perfect at all times. Well, it doesn’t have to be really, for it to be beautiful and meaningful, but this is a totally new context all together.
What I am basically saying is that sometimes life has its own twists and turns and sometimes we find ourselves in situations that are far from ideal, oftentimes very difficult to handle.
And when things go wrong, as they sometimes will, we find ourselves wanting to just throw in the towel, run away and hope and pray by doing so closes that unwanted chapter.
Can relate?
Take this time to think: when was the last time you almost gave up on something? On someone?
What was the compelling reason then?
What was the impact of your decision?
I know that while some of you may think that it was the best decision made during that time, others may not exactly share that sentiment most specially after the dust has settled.
Because in reality, at times, giving up isn’t exactly the best solution.
1. When things are hard
Fact: you can only grow and become your own #bestmeever outside of your comfort zone. Which means when situations seem to be getting tougher and tougher and you feel overwhelmed, the key here is to pause and ground yourself, not run away at the first sight of the problem. Know that things may be hard at the beginning but if you totally commit to overcoming the challenges on hand, they become easier as you learn and grow in the process. Stop resisting and start embracing things as they are because they ae teaching you the valuable lessons you need moving forward. As they say, no pain, no gain.
2. When you truly want something
As Simon Sinek said: “Remember your Why.” You’ve made it this far. Why let everything go to waste by giving up now? Your goals and dreams deserve your 100% commitment so keep going. Remind yourself how much each one means to you and what is the value of achieving your goals and dreams eventually. Make your reasons larger than life so that they don’t get dwarfed by challenges along the way.
3. When it takes a lot of time
Not everything has to happen all at once. Greatness takes time. So should you. Don’t ever hurry growth as you may end up with half-baked results. Know that delays can also be blessings as they serve as your springboard towards improving yourself along the way as you discover the silverlining in each. Be more patient with yourself and your growth. You will fully bloom when it’s time. Until then, enjoy the journey.
4. When others are not supporting you
I’ve said it time and again before and I’ll say it again: you don’t need anyone’s go signal for you to finally give yourself what you truly want and deserve as you pursue your biggest dreams. Don’t let the lack of support from others stop you from what you’re called to do (and be). Be your own biggest cheerleader. Know that once you decide and commit to pushing through, you will eventually meet the right people who deserve to share spaces with you in this new journey of yours and who will support you unconditionally. Let others watch and see, because more often than not, they are secretly hoping that they were brave enough to at least try the way you did in their space. Yep, you are most probably triggering their insecurities.
5. When you have failed before
Your past doesn’t define you. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed before for as long as you keep going and keep improving each time you try again. Do things differently. Seek a new mentor. Learn from your mistakes. Do what you think is best so that this time around you don’t let your past failures haunt you and distract you from your goals. Know that those failures of yours will eventually be someone’s inspiration to try harder in their space and your entire journey will be someone else’s guide to ultimately surviving in this life time. Be the inspiration they (and you, yourself) need.
At the end of the day, remember this:
You will always be worth another chance, another try.
So please, don’t ever give up.
Coaching can be such a rewarding experience.
And this is based on actual experience.
You see, being a full-time professional coach for several years now, I got to maximize what my coaching practice has to offer: being able to work when and where I want to, being able to help people from all over the world get the breakthroughs they deserve while learning, growing, feeling fulfilled and genuinely happy along the way too.
I often get told by people that they want to pursue the same career because time and location freedom matter a lot to them.
I always tell them the hard truth though: it’s not easy to become a full-time professional coach. Because beyond the seemingly luxurious and freedom-filled lifestyle, is a whole lot of hard work on myself and my clients as well.
At the end of the day, it’s all about having a stable number of happy and satisfied clients and numerous testimonials and referrals based on my work as a coach.
Easier said than done though.
Consider the number of competition you have. Their offers. Their price points. And your chosen niche and practice.
What do you think is making it hard for you to secure coaching clients?
People need to know about you and what you do for them to become interested. How are you maximizing your social media platforms? Are you visible in the platforms where your desired clients are? Do you contribute to online discussions on LinkedIn or Facebook communities? Do you speak in reputable conventions? If you’re too shy or you’re quite uncomfortable showing up as a coach, then this is your sign to think again. As the saying goes, to see is to believe.
2. You don’t have a coaching brand
Amidst a sea of professional coaches, it’s very important to have a coaching brand that stands out from the rest. What do you represent in the coaching space? Who’s your market? What and how are you communicating? If you’re still unclear about these, then perhaps it contributes to the confusion your audience has about you. And for those with discriminating tastes, being just like one of the many won’t really make their cut.
3. Your price point needs adjustment
I always say that it’s important to put value on ourselves and in what we do best. In relation to that, we must also be humble enough to acknowledge our capabilities, credentials and body of work at present. This means that the goal is that you must be worth more than what you charge for. So if you’re only beginning in your practice, settle with an entry level rate. Work your way up. Go the extra mile. Let your value increase as you gather receipts of success consistently. Never overpromise. Never overprice. Make sure always that your prospective customers see you as a worthy investment of their time, money and resources. Remember: highly paid coaching superstars don’t happen overnight. So take your time and do the necessary work so you can charge as much.
4. There’s no rapport
A chemistry session presents the perfect opportunity to determine if there’s a fit between the coach and coachee. Question is: how do you present yourself during a chemistry session? Quick tip: never take for granted free sessions such as this. Just show up as your authentic self as you get to know the client better, genuinely listen and ask powerful questions. The goal should not be just to earn per se as you close the deal, but rather, make a positive lasting impression. Don’t go too hard sell. That breaks the intimacy of the session.
5. You don’t have client testimonials
Word of mouth is one of the most powerful form of marketing. Your reputation precedes you. The question is: what can you show to showcase the amazing results that you deliver? Who can vouch for you? What are your clients saying about partnering with you for their growth? Shared experiences matter a lot. After all, investing on one’s self and one’s growth is one of the best investments a person can make so make yourself highly bookable via the good reviews your clients have given you. No amount of online advertisement can compensate for authentic reviews in the long run. So if you’re just starting, give as many free sessions as you can and secure client testimonials from them. Focus on building your credibility first.
Hopefully you can take a step back and assess which of these aspects need work on your end.
Remember to be patient with yourself and your growth as a coach though.
Because when you’re truly ready, your clients will come.
No pain, no gain.
I think this has always been instilled in us while we were growing up.
To make us work harder.
To allow us to endure more.
To purge our character.
However, come to think of it, as I grew older and become more aware, I have realized that pain need not be the be all and end all of everything.
I think achieving our goals should not always be associated with having to endure painful situations first because truth be told, there are times when rewards do come easily, simply because everything is meant to happen that way.
Because even during our happiest times, we can gain a lot too.
From learnings to giving life a second chance. Or a third even.
And suffering becomes merely optional or even non-existent along the way.
This is just one of the myths that I have come to realize: that pain and suffering aren’t exactly 100% essential to one’s growth. Yeah, maybe to some extent yes, but know that we can always choose to grow in a manner that works for us, without necessarily banking on our previous narrative of resilience taught by our elders and society.
Ok, I know that forgiving someone who has done you wrong isn’t exactly easy. Depending on who has caused you pain (the closer the person is to your heart, the more painful it becomes) and the gravity of the action done (break up, falling out, betrayal…you tell me.), it would really take more than just an apology to make things right. Here’s the thing: for me, if you really want to make things right, forgive the person when you’re ready (given your own time, space and conditions) and choose to remember the lessons. This simply means that as you look back at that painful incident, you no longer have heightened emotions towards the person who has done you wrong, but you are quite at peace realizing the lessons which that event has taught you. And no, you don’t have to force yourself “bring back the old times” after forgiving someone if you feel that person no longer deserves to share spaces with you. You can always just choose to co-exist in your own respective spaces, until such time you realize otherwise.
2. You can fully unlove someone when things don’t work out.
In my opinion, no matter how painful the cause of your heartbreak may be, I believe that you can’t really totally unlove someone. If a person already has been a part of your life in a beautiful way, meaning you shared wonderful memories, grew together and inspired you along the way, even if someday things are no longer the same, you just can’t invalidate the existence of that relationship. What you can do though is accept the fact that you can love the other person on a different level instead e.g. from romantic to familial, loving someone from afar, recognizing the existence of the person who was once part of your life and taught you valuable lessons you needed moving forward.
3. An apology is needed to have closure.
Ok, while it would be wonderful to get that sincere apology from the person who has wronged you to allow you to move on, it’s not always the case. Sometimes it comes in too late. At times, it never happens. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to put your life on hold just because you are still waiting for that person who has caused you pain to make amends. Sadly though, we don’t have control over the emotions and actions of others. So it’s never a guarantee. Choose to give yourself the closure that you need and want by really coming into terms what the painful situation is teaching you and how you can use what has risen from this awareness as you start all over again. Your internal dialogue with yourself, as you practice love, compassion and understanding will allow you to close chapters without depending on anyone else, when you are truly able and ready.
4. You have to tolerate the one you love to make the relationship work.
Nope, I don’t think so. Tolerance isn’t exactly the best way to show your love. More so if you are allowing yourself to be the recipient of rude and toxic behavior time and again. You don’t deserve that. Nobody does. And when it comes to relationships, tolerating any form of wrong doing, contrary to the common notion of sacrificing for the sake of the relationship, will only result to bigger problems in the future. If you really want your relationship to work, be brave enough to have that difficult conversation and lay down all your cards, coming from a space of love and honesty and seek for a compromise. That’s how you can really work on your relationship: when both parties are willing to change for the better and exert the same effort in doing what’s best for you both.
5. Outgrowing people means you are ungrateful.
People come into your life for a reason, for a certain season. And the sad truth is, no matter how you try at times, you just can’t have everyone you grew up with play a part in your story as time goes by. Outgrowing people does not make you (or them) a bad person. We all change, in different ways, at different speeds. And that causes the relationships we have to change as well. While we try our best to make things work and make the relationships we have last, sometimes, when we have truly given our all and did our best, it’s ok to just let things be. The relationship you had already fulfilled its purpose – it’s up for you to nurture new ones along the way as you journey towards your best. Be grateful those happened and take all the lessons to heart. Because at the end of the day, the people you’ve outgrown will always be part of your past. And that’s something to cherish knowing that one way or another, they helped you become the person you’re meant to be. Life goes on for everyone.
So now, I hope that with the awareness that you have about the myths surrounding the painful experiences you may have had, you are able to discern fully what will be best for you moving forward.
Simply because:
There’s a whole lot more to gain when you look beyond the pain.
Whatever you take for granted will be taken away from you.
This hits home.
Seriously. No one (and nothing actually) deserves to be taken for granted.
I mean, hear me on this: everything happens for a reason.
And everyone who comes into your life has a purpose to fulfill.
It may not be evident at first and at times we may even be resistant if things don’t go as planned.
However, it is important to always keep our faith intact and to trust the process (and ourselves) accordingly.
Because only then we will get to discover the silver linings in each and every experience we have.
Given that, I want you to take this time first to be one with your surrounding.
What experiences do you have at present?
Who are in your circle?
What changes have you embraced?
Being mindful about your life at the moment allows you to recognize everything that has brought you to where you are at present and the purpose each one serves.
This teaches us to see each and every event, person, thing or space through the lens of gratitude, which can help us amplify what we want more of in life as we approach seemingly difficult situations with the least (or no) resistance.
There is so much beauty and power when you appreciate life as is.
As the saying goes, health is wealth. And this holds so much truth. It’s very important to always prioritize your over all health and wellbeing. That simply means indulging in regular self-care, surrounding yourself with people who are good for you, giving yourself what is due as you invest on yourself and your growth without feeling guilty. Think about this: if you can’t really do much if you’re bedridden, unhappy or totally stressed in your space so make sure that you don’t set aside your health and wellbeing for the sake of your work or just to please others. It’s definitely not worth it.
2. Your genuine relationships
It’s quite rare that you meet people who really have your back through good times and bad times so when you have them in your space, treasure them. Family, friends or any loved one who fall in this category deserve your 100% commitment, as you nurture your relationship with each one of them. Ensure that you always find time to check on each one of them, address any issue that may arise coming from a space of love and respect and celebrate them and the relationship that you have every single day, in all possible ways. Not everyone is qualified to take their place so never make them feel neglected.
3. Your talents and skills
You are the best investment you can ever make. So always take time to recognize your strengths, skills and talents that set you apart from the rest and nurture them. Take time to practice daily and share your gifts to others. Don’t ever be overconfident about them that you just assume that you could always deliver what is expected from you. Be humble enough to realize that you, much like everyone else, has room for improvement and you can always upgrade and upskill as you journey towards your own #bestmeever .
4. The challenges along the way
I know. It’s quite hard to accept that life isn’t exactly smooth sailing at times. And more often than not, we try to brush things off that do not align with our plans or if they seem tougher to face than usual. But hey, I wanted to remind you that you should never set aside those because they carry with them the important lessons you need moving forward. Never let them invalidate your progress. Embrace them as they are. But learn how to look for the silver linings there after. They are just as valuable as any other milestone you will have during great days. Or even more actually.
5. The opportunities given to you
It’s true. Somewhere out there, someone wants to trade places with you because they see that you are so blessed in so many ways. So never take the opportunities given to you for granted. Whether it’s a new job, a second chance in life or love, or a chance to make a difference in the lives of others (or even in yours, as well), make the most of them. Give your best, with all that you have because truth be told, you can never be sure if you will be receiving the same favors in the future. You only have this lifetime to make the most of each and every opportunity to grow and be happy.
Hopefully after reading this you now see all the things, people and situations which fill your current space, in a different light.
Simply because, you also have a purpose to live alongside each one of them.
So never take them (or yourself) for granted.
