It’s unfortunate at times that we lose people along the way as we journey through life.
Whether we like it or not, certain circumstances prevent us from keeping everyone onboard all through out.
Yep, not everyone can be part of your #bestmeever journey till the end.
And that’s perfectly ok. Know that no matter how short a person’s role in your life may be, he/she has taught you the lessons you needed to know at that point in time.
However, included in the lessons you have to learn as you go through life is the willingness to fight for relationships worth saving.
Now, I want you to take this time and reflect: is there any relationship you wish to save, one that may have been affected before when life was tougher than usual?
A former flame with an unfinished business?
A family member you have strained your ties with?
An old friend you have hurt unintentionally?
And the list goes on.
Well, here’s the thing: sometimes we do things (and say things as well) which we don’t mean just because we are caught in the moment.
However, let it be known that it’s not exactly a free pass so to speak.
While we cannot undo the past, it is important to know that we still have the present moment to work with and allow ourselves to start all over again as we try to win back the people closest to our hearts.
Yup, it’s not yet the ending if it isn’t a happy one. Preach. Haha!
So yeah, you can still win them over. Or at least try.
Remember: if a relationship of whatever kind is worth saving. Go for it. You have nothing else to lose. You only have this lifetime to be happy so might as well do what you must for at the end of the day, at least you tried.
Nope. Not text. Not call. Not email. Not snail mail. Not through a friend or family member. Apologize face to face to the person you have severed ties with and show how genuinely you mean it. You don’t need to put on a show or make it grand; you just have to speak from the heart and really mean what you say. Don’t hide behind the digital space or any other person; be accountable for yourself and your actions and own the apology you are expressing.
2. Respect people’s reactions
While your intentions may be good, you can’t really expect everyone to take it the way you want them to. We all have different responses towards pain and it’s important to respect that and realize that this time around, the ball isn’t exactly on your court. You can’t (and should not) force things, relationships included. What is important here is you expressed your genuine apology and you allow yourself to listen to what the hurting party has to say and just let things be there after, coming from a space of humility and understanding.
3. Initiate the necessary changes
If you want to show your sincerity, don’t wait for the other person to tell you what needs to be done. What is key here is to reflect on what you fought about initially and what could be done differently moving forward. To win back another person, you must be willing to adjust accordingly based on your agreements or if none yet, based on what you think will be best for the relationship while taking into consideration what the other party is complaining about initially. Being pro-active can earn you extra brownie points along the way so whether or not you win the other person back, at least you have shown how much you value the relationship by embracing the changes needed.
4. Seek help from common friends/family you both trust
Bridging the gap. Pun intended haha! Kidding aside, people will respond more positively towards people they trust so if you have common friends or family members they adore fully, seek their help. Show them how much you mean your apology and ask them to help you win back the other person. Ask for tips they may have and work up a plan with them. Be humble enough to listen and accept their initial reaction though, most specially if they become over protective about the other person at first, which is quite normal. Know that eventually knowing that someone else has your back can relieve you of the unnecessary anxiety the waiting game can bring.
5. Be grateful for the impact of the other person on your own growth
I am beyond sure that once you implement the necessary improvements on your life in response to the need to make up for what you’ve done before that left people hurting, others will take notice. Never forget to be vocal and honest about thanking the other party because at the end of the day, whatever beautiful changes you have now in your space is because of the experience you initially had. This also allows the other person feel valued as he/she becomes instrumental to your own growth, and that of your relationship. Appreciation, of whatever form, can go a long way, most especially when it comes to saving relationships and winning people back.
I hope reading this inspires you to take action and win back the relationships you desire.
At the end of the day, nothing is impossible if you’re committed to making things right .
You can win this.
