“You’re so brave.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“I can’t do that.”
Believe me, I lost count of the number of times I have heard these from those who watched me online, on-air or on-site after giving my talk, doing an interview or sharing bits and pieces about myself during workshops.
It didn’t take me long to realize that being vulnerable isn’t exactly easy for a lot of people apparently.
It’s actually a make or break moment for them.
I mean, come to think of it, who would want to pour his/her heart out, complete with all those heightened emotions he/she tried so hard to hold or fight back, in the presence of many discriminating eyes?
I doubt it if there will be any volunteer at all though. Well, unless I was part of the crowd, maybe I would.
But don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t always that way.
In fact, much like others, I was afraid to show my true emotions, thinking that if I cry or if I share my deepest secrets, others will think that I was weak and they can eventually use what they learned against me when the time calls for it.
Me and my false, assuming narratives to keep myself safe.
Good save there, Myke! Haha!
To be candid, I had that very thought when I posted my advocacy campaign video as one of the finalists for the 2024 Pinoy Mavericks Awards of CIMB Bank Philippines the other day.
I mean, I practically bared my heart and soul there as I told my story about overcoming adversity, which you can see in my Instagram, Facebook and TikTok account. Oh while you’re at it, feel free to spread some love via like, share or comment. And that was a smooth promotion! Haha!
Initially before uploading it, I was thinking what will be the reaction of the people around me but shortly after, upon remembering my purpose of why I wanted to share my story, I just did and got such a warm reception from the public, which greatly helped wash the worries away.
What I am saying is that all misconceptions I had about being vulnerable were merely fabricated by previous experiences while growing up, stories from other people and how social media and society presented it in a bad light.
And that awareness gave me such a liberating experience, which I hope to impart to you guys now.
Seriously, the first step to allowing yourself to be vulnerable is to recognize and accept what really is your truth. Fact: lying makes you feel uncomfortable and you don’t even want to go that direction because that defeats the very concept of vulnerability, which focuses on being able to express yourself as you are, whatever you’re feeling or undergoing as of the moment. To know your truth, try this out: upon waking up, look at yourself in the mirror and embrace the person that you are, minus any idea of what you do or how others perceive you. That’s an eye opening moment indeed. Remember; nothing to fear when you’re holding the truth. It’s never about the reactions of others; it’s about you. And only you.
2. Check on your intentions
Ok. you just can’t be vulnerable for the sake of. Vulnerability isn’t about wanting to stir up drama or just having something to talk about during downtime. It’s about wanting to build relationships and inspire others to work on themselves and whatever they’re going through as you allow yourself to be seen, heard and felt too. Best to reflect on: what do I want to achieve in being vulnerable? Start from there.
3. Prepare yourself fully
Are you in the right state of mind, body and heart? Have you thought about what you’re going to say? Are there no heightened emotions present that can stir up impulsive reactions or behaviors? Are you ready to embrace the consequences of your actions, if any? These are just some of the things you should ask yourself to prepare you for this tell-all experience. Take your time. Don’t pressure yourself nor let anyone around you pressure you into doing it when you’re not ready. Do what’s best for you, always.
4. Start with your inner circle
Start small, as they always say. Choose the people you surround yourself with, those whom you trust the most. Those whom you know will listen to you without judgment and who will accept you whole heartedly for who and what you are. Whether it’s a family member or a close friend, go for it. Practice until it becomes comfortable for you. Then when it gets easier, try expanding your reach while keeping those you trust close so that you will always feel supported and loved, no matter what happens.
5. Visualize your desired outcome
“Why worry about something that’s not even there yet?” — I just love asking this question to others (and to myself too) to knock some sense to them as they anticipate negatively the things that have yet to happen based on assumptions. So instead of wasting your time feeling stressed and anxious, why not just focus your energy into visualizing how you want the entire thing to go for you: people accepting you, living free, being able to make the right decision etc. be as clear as possible and know that when you believe and your intentions as pure, all will be well, just like how you have imagined it. Try asking this to yourself: Now what can go right and how would that look like for me? Exciting, I know.
Remember: to become your own #bestmeever you must be brave and comfortable enough to embrace your authentic, unapologetic, grandest version of yourself. Never be afraid to express and live your truth.
And on that note, I would also want to invite all the members of the LGBTQIA+ community to avail of my FREE Coaching Session for the Pride month, something which I have been doing in the last 4 years so to speak, to help people own their truth and take up space. Interested parties may book here: https://calendly.com/d/cpzv-fwh-v9f/pride-2024-free-coaching-lgbtq
Time to #LiveWithPride.
