Not everything (or everyone) deserves to be in your space.
And that’s perfectly ok.
You don’t have to force yourself to hold on to things or people which do not spark joy.
You don’t have to settle in a space that does not inspire growth.
And yes, you have that power of choice to turn your life around.
As the year draws to a close in a couple of days, now is actually the best time to reflect about what you finally need to let go of so that next year will be far better.
I have spent the last few weeks reflecting and this is the list I have come up with.
It was quite amusing coming to realize why I have tolerated them for the longest time thinking that they were normal or that I needed them when fact is, I can actually live without them and doing such will allow me to flourish more.
1.The drama
Oh my gosh, time and again I have been invited to participate in the drama of other people, whether as a by stander or an actual character in their story. I thought I was helping by being there only to realize that I only wanted to be there because subconciously I was being validated for having that sense of belongingness. Crazy I know. When I caught myself, I immediately distanced myself at the onset of any form of drama that is thrown my way. And yes, I am now living my own story, with my happily ever after.
2.) The extreme pressure on yourself
It’s a fact that the society has certain standards to be met and that people have a lot of expectations about me and what I do. That only adds up to the pressure I used to give myself, wanting to live up to my own ideals in harmony with those of others. Not good for me. I realized that I was practically driving myself to getting burned out and unhappy about what I was doing because I was doing all them out of obligation to comply rather than inspiration. So what I did though was loosen up: I allowed myself to go at my own pace, redefined my concept of productivity and allowed myself to find joy outside of what i do, and realize through happiness from within. End result: I actually became happier and my productivity is maximized even as I take certain days off.
3.) The excuses
I know that at some point, having excuses were meant to protect myself from an unfamiliar or unpleasant situation. However, come to think of it, what is making it difficult for me to express myself in black or white was the need to please by sugarcoating my words. When I arrested that false notion, I am pleasantly surprised that people loved my honesty and authenticity and that it was ok to just go do what feels right as long as I will be taking responsibility for my actions. The goal goes beyond succeeding in a new endeavor, but rather maximizing and growing from each and every experience that’s not limited by any form of excuse. At the end of the day, only my excuses and self-doubts can limit me. And I won’t let that happen. Not today, Satan. Haha!
4.) Your what could have beens
I know that at times we tend to look back at the past and succumb to the overwhelming thoughts of being able to do so much more before. These thoughts leave us doubting ourselves in the process at present. Fact though is that we all can’t turn back time. So upon reflecting, I personally just focused on what I have here and now and how I can make the most of it. It’s not about what could have been, maybe because it’s meant to be like that and that’s something I need to be able to accept. My new practice is to focus on what can still be as I do everything under my control so that I look at all past events, regardless of the results with much gratitude and the future, with much optimism.
5.) Your excess baggage
Yaaasss to this! I mean we all have been through a lot and perhaps even going through so much more at present. But hey, holding on to all these things and repeating them to ourselves over and over again will not help us find the right solution to them and will only lead to more anxiety. Clearing our minds and focusing on what we can still do, will. Don’t let your excess baggage distort your future journey. Travel light. Trust me on this. Everything becomes more enjoyable there after, provided you know where you want to go next and you are committed to make that happen fully.
I hope these help you reflect on your current space. If you’re having a hard time wrapping things up this year as you figure out what you can live without, then worry not. Will be launching my free workshop in my self-empowerment community this December so make sure to register in advance because limited slots are available so that next year, as you start it, will definitely your best year ever.
