Love is in the air once more.
Can you feel it?
Well, that should always be the case on an everyday basis but it’s February so yeah, it becomes extra special with Valentines Day just around the corner.
The signs are all there: hearts all over. Love songs. Serenades. Couple promos. Love notes. Balloons. And a bunch of all possible kinds of bouquets to suit every budget. Haha!
But kidding aside, Valentines Day, more so love, isn’t exactly just that.
To be honest, those are just social constructs. Because in reality, Valentines Day, and love per se, can also be expressed in different ways apart from what is considered the norm.
Now I want you to reflect: how do you define love? How do you express it?
Whatever your definition may be, think about it: where does this stem from? What impact does it have on me?
You see, you may have some misconceptions about love that actually prevent you from fully appreciating it, at its core.
Hear me out on this: while there is so much beauty in being selfless, know that you are also very much worthy to receive the kind of love you willingly give to others. Never think of yourself as a mere provider. You are not here to just be everyone’s savior…you also need to welcome the love others are willing to give to you and the one coming from yourself too.
2. Tolerance is not a form of love
Anything that you tolerate does not grow. Yup, take that to heart. Relationships included. Never tolerate any form of toxic behavior just because you love the person. You are actually preventing the person from realizing his/her flaws by allowing him/her to continue with the undesirable behaviors. Love knows the value of speaking up, coming from a space of honesty — to say what the other person deserves to hear and what you truly mean from within to be able to come up with a compromise that will work best for the relationship at stake.
3. Jealousy is not a sign of love
Trust is very important in a relationship. While a little jealousy is normal, when it becomes too often and the reaction triggered by it becomes worse, please take note that does not equate at all to the intensity of one’s love for another. Jealousy, truth be told, is actually a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. What is key here now is to address it accordingly at its bud stage so that it doesn’t grow any bigger than it should. Always establish the value of trust and honesty within the relationship to ensure that the green eyed monster does not show up.
4. Love is enough to make a relationship work
While love conquers all, love alone cannot make a relationship grow. Open communication. Consistency. Commitment. Compassion. Understanding. Effort. Some of the other things a relationship needs in order for it to flourish fully amidst challenging times. Make sure to include them all accordingly.
5. Love is all about the intensity of the passion
As time goes by, love evolves accordingly. After the honeymoon stage, sometimes the intensity of the intimacy lessens but does not mean that love, does too. What is important to take note of here is that true love endures the test of time, long after the strength of the initial passion is gone. It’s all about making meaningful moments beyond the physicality of things and focusing on nurturing the feelings and allowing them to blossom in their current space without feeling incomplete or inadequate just because the passion has lessened. Hear me on this: as you grow older, the goal should not be bringing back the passion and intimacy, but rather, remembering the kind of love you had when you started and anchoring on that feeling as you grow it once more.
As we celebrate Valentines Day this year, I hope you get to see love in a different light.
Because love was never one dimensional.
Happy hearts month, everyone.
