Pain is inevitable.
Suffering is optional.
There is so much truth in this popular saying.
I mean, things won't always go as planned and there will always be days which are less rosey than others.
More often than not, we fail to see the real value of the emotional pain that we are experiencing on hand as we just perceive it as one big problem.
Something that's meant to destroy our plans and make us miserable.
However, we tend to forget that our pain is actually teaching us valuable lessons that we need in order for us to become our own #bestmeever .
And until we realize the 5 things that actually make our emotional pain worse, we will continue to suffer unknowingly due to our own choices.
Allow me to share them with you now so that you can try to avoid them at all costs:
1.) Resisting your pain
I know and totally understand this. I mean no one wants to feel pain right? I mean, guilt, shame, sadness, anger, regrets and many others can wreck havoc on one's self. Mind you though that the only way you can deal with those is to actually allow them to come to surface and feel them. Because you can never process and understand them if you keep denying yourself of the opportunity to come face to face with them. Remember, you can only resolve what you acknowledge, your emotional pain included.
2.) You try to control everything about your pain
There will always be things beyond our control. It only adds up to the stress that you're already feeling when you try to manipulate the entire situation and your own emotions just to lessen the pain. However, you cannot fake what you cannot control so don't even go there. Try surrendering your worries and concerns instead, this can do wonders for you now as you navigate through your pain.
3.) You overthink about your pain
It's there. face it as is. Stop thinking about a hundred and one non-existent narratives. Stop focusing on all those that could have been and focus on what is here and now. Don't distract yourself with negative thoughts that won't do your pain any good. You don't need the added unnecessary anxiety brought about by overthinking..
4.) You see your pain as a dead end
Your pain, whatever it may be, is not your final destination. It's merely a pitstop to prepare you for an even greater journey ahead. Stop focusing on how hopeless the situation may be at present and instead start thinking about your desired outcomes oncee you have accepted the space you're in. YOu can always do something about your pain as you learn to grow in harmony with it. While it may not totally go away in the future, you don't have to burden yourself with so much suffering by thinking that your life ended with your current pain. No honey, with or without pain, your life goes on. And so can you.
5.) You let your pain define you
You are not what you feel or what you've been through. So stop being unfair to yourself. Separate your emotions from the person that you are. You can be in pain and still be that amazing person for someone, somewhere out there. Never forget that you matter and that you will always be more than whatever pain broke you initially. Because you needed that so that the old version of yourself, with the new lessons learned from your painful experience, will finally peel off and reveal a better version of you. It's part of the process.
I hope these can help you in managing your emotional pain better.
Remember, it's only temporary.
It will pass.
And you will heal.
Someday. Somehow.
Until then, hold on.
And learn and grow from the experience
